1
00:00:01,104 --> 00:00:03,595
Michael, since it is your fifteenth
anniversary at the company,

2
00:00:03,673 --> 00:00:05,971
I thought it might be appropriate
to begin the festivities

3
00:00:06,042 --> 00:00:08,977
with a 15-minute
round of applause.

4
00:00:09,079 --> 00:00:10,079
I like it.

5
00:00:10,146 --> 00:00:13,206
Followed by a 15-minute
moment of silence.

6
00:00:13,450 --> 00:00:14,917
I don't know.

7
00:00:15,585 --> 00:00:16,609
Is it classy enough?

8
00:00:16,686 --> 00:00:19,211
Jim, enough with
the classy, okay?

9
00:00:19,322 --> 00:00:22,189
I just feel like after 15
years at this company...

10
00:00:22,258 --> 00:00:23,316
Bravo, by the way.

11
00:00:23,393 --> 00:00:26,851
That we should celebrate with a very
classy event, a night to remember.

12
00:00:26,930 --> 00:00:27,954
I think you're right.

13
00:00:28,031 --> 00:00:30,795
This party has to have
all the excitement, drama

14
00:00:30,867 --> 00:00:33,097
and intrigue of my time here.

15
00:00:33,169 --> 00:00:34,727
And, of course, classy.

16
00:00:34,804 --> 00:00:35,964
And classy, yeah.

17
00:00:36,039 --> 00:00:38,735
Michael, you're just agreeing with
him 'cause he's wearing a tux.

18
00:00:38,808 --> 00:00:40,119
Don't you see
what he's doing here?

19
00:00:40,143 --> 00:00:42,611
Last week, Dwight sent out
a memo about the dress code.

20
00:00:42,679 --> 00:00:46,479
So, this is me showing him that
I'm taking it very seriously.

21
00:00:46,783 --> 00:00:51,117
Oh! Here's one. A string
quartet playing classical music.

22
00:00:55,825 --> 00:00:59,784
You know, that's good,
but it's not classy. I need something

23
00:01:00,597 --> 00:01:03,157
classy, like the opening
of a car dealership.

24
00:01:03,233 --> 00:01:04,325
That's it.

25
00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:05,799
Or Mr. Peanut.
Yes.

26
00:01:05,869 --> 00:01:07,598
Mr. Peanut is not classy.
He is.

27
00:01:07,670 --> 00:01:09,160
He is a regular peanut.

28
00:01:09,239 --> 00:01:11,469
He just happens to have a cane,
a monocle and a top hat.

29
00:01:11,541 --> 00:01:12,872
That's what makes him classy.

30
00:01:12,942 --> 00:01:14,102
Okay, how about this?

31
00:01:14,177 --> 00:01:15,769
An ice sculpture shaped like you

32
00:01:15,845 --> 00:01:18,040
covered in chocolate-covered
strawberries.

33
00:01:18,715 --> 00:01:21,183
Dwight, you're trying too hard,
and that's just not classy.

34
00:01:21,251 --> 00:01:23,879
See, the thing about classy is,
it's a state of mind.

35
00:01:23,953 --> 00:01:26,683
Well, I'm sorry.
I just don't know what classy is, then.

36
00:01:26,756 --> 00:01:28,417
Okay, let's just try
this one on for size,

37
00:01:28,491 --> 00:01:31,187
and I apologize, 'cause it's
right off the top of my head.

38
00:01:31,261 --> 00:01:34,389
An ice sculpture of you
completely surrounded

39
00:01:34,464 --> 00:01:36,398
by a variety of
chocolate-covered fruits.

40
00:01:36,466 --> 00:01:37,626
Strawberries?

41
00:01:37,700 --> 00:01:38,700
That's inspired.

42
00:01:38,768 --> 00:01:39,928
I said that!

43
00:01:43,006 --> 00:01:44,030
Not classy.

44
00:01:44,107 --> 00:01:45,472
Not classy at all.

45
00:01:45,542 --> 00:01:47,305
Declasse.
French!

46
00:01:48,111 --> 00:01:49,305
Classy.

47
00:01:50,370 --> 00:01:56,444
Support us and become VIP member
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48
00:02:15,405 --> 00:02:16,599
Hi, can I help you?

49
00:02:16,673 --> 00:02:19,540
Yeah, I'm Charles Miner,
here to see Michael Scott.

50
00:02:19,609 --> 00:02:22,510
Sure, just one second,
please. Have a seat.

51
00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:25,280
Yes?
Michael,

52
00:02:25,348 --> 00:02:26,592
there's a Charles Miner
here to see you.

53
00:02:26,616 --> 00:02:29,551
Miner? I hardly know her!

54
00:02:31,721 --> 00:02:32,721
Hello?

55
00:02:32,789 --> 00:02:33,866
Yeah, are you coming out now?

56
00:02:33,890 --> 00:02:34,890
Uh-huh.

57
00:02:36,125 --> 00:02:38,650
Well, well, well,
who have we here?

58
00:02:39,195 --> 00:02:41,288
It is Prince Charles Miner!

59
00:02:41,898 --> 00:02:47,097
At your service.
Everybody, this is Sir Charles Miner,

60
00:02:47,470 --> 00:02:50,496
and he is the new VP
for the Northeast region,

61
00:02:50,573 --> 00:02:52,700
so just give it up
for this big guy, right?

62
00:02:52,775 --> 00:02:53,867
Give it up!

63
00:02:53,943 --> 00:02:55,035
Here he is.
There he is.

64
00:02:55,111 --> 00:02:56,169
Hey. Hi.

65
00:02:56,246 --> 00:02:57,338
Hi, everyone...

66
00:02:57,413 --> 00:02:58,437
Wow! Hold that thought.

67
00:02:58,514 --> 00:03:01,312
You know what? I want everybody
to go into the break room.

68
00:03:01,384 --> 00:03:02,749
I have a little
surprise for you.

69
00:03:02,819 --> 00:03:04,081
Go ahead. You, too.

70
00:03:04,153 --> 00:03:06,485
Dwight, would you escort
our guest in there?

71
00:03:06,556 --> 00:03:08,114
Come on. Here we go.
Don't be shy.

72
00:03:08,191 --> 00:03:09,988
Don't be shy, you're one of us.

73
00:03:10,059 --> 00:03:12,550
Dwight, stall him a
little bit. I have to get the fish.

74
00:03:12,629 --> 00:03:13,960
Hey.
Yes?

75
00:03:15,531 --> 00:03:17,576
Really wish you would've told me
the new boss was coming today.

76
00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:19,795
What? No!
I didn't want to make everybody nervous.

77
00:03:19,869 --> 00:03:22,394
No, I mean I could've brought
a change of clothes, or...

78
00:03:22,472 --> 00:03:23,530
You look dynamite.

79
00:03:23,606 --> 00:03:24,766
What are you talking about?

80
00:03:24,841 --> 00:03:27,469
Very slick. Okay,
let me get the fish.

81
00:03:28,544 --> 00:03:30,603
Originally founded in 1866,

82
00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:32,773
Scranton quickly became
one of Pennsylvania's

83
00:03:32,849 --> 00:03:35,374
largest anthracite
coalmining communities.

84
00:03:35,451 --> 00:03:37,976
Surprise!
There's nothing in here.

85
00:03:38,054 --> 00:03:40,249
The real surprise is
in the conference room.

86
00:03:40,323 --> 00:03:41,585
Let's go!

87
00:03:41,691 --> 00:03:43,784
God! Okay, come on!
Come on!

88
00:03:43,860 --> 00:03:47,523
I'll finish it up later, but essentially
what we're talking about is...

89
00:03:47,997 --> 00:03:49,521
Surprise!

90
00:03:50,967 --> 00:03:53,936
As you can see,
I turned the bagels

91
00:03:54,003 --> 00:03:55,868
from O's into C's, for Charles.

92
00:03:57,407 --> 00:03:59,136
Thank you.
Took me all night.

93
00:03:59,208 --> 00:04:00,732
This is what you did last night?

94
00:04:00,810 --> 00:04:02,607
I met this guy at
corporate last week,

95
00:04:02,679 --> 00:04:05,739
and we were just
digging each other's vibe.

96
00:04:05,848 --> 00:04:08,578
I was totally grooving on him,
and vice versa.

97
00:04:08,651 --> 00:04:11,017
And besides,
the last two people to have his job

98
00:04:11,087 --> 00:04:12,520
were Jan and Ryan.

99
00:04:12,588 --> 00:04:17,525
The former was my lover, and the
latter my best friend, so who knows?

100
00:04:18,828 --> 00:04:20,227
I do.

101
00:04:20,296 --> 00:04:22,025
It's gonna be mental!

102
00:04:23,833 --> 00:04:25,801
It's going to be mental.

103
00:04:27,136 --> 00:04:30,003
Oh, my God, he's like
a black George Clooney.

104
00:04:30,073 --> 00:04:31,973
Really?
I don't see it.

105
00:04:32,408 --> 00:04:36,367
I mean, he's okay.
He's not unattractive, he's...

106
00:04:36,479 --> 00:04:37,605
Hey, how you doing?

107
00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:38,800
I'm Jim Halpert, from sales.

108
00:04:38,848 --> 00:04:39,974
Hey.
Just wanted to say,

109
00:04:40,049 --> 00:04:42,517
if you need anything,
let me know.

110
00:04:42,685 --> 00:04:44,880
Why are you wearing a tuxedo?

111
00:04:44,954 --> 00:04:47,081
I didn't think you'd notice.

112
00:04:47,790 --> 00:04:49,935
It's funny, actually.
There's another salesman out here,

113
00:04:49,959 --> 00:04:52,655
Dwight Schrute, he sent out this memo,
as he always does,

114
00:04:52,729 --> 00:04:55,163
and it was about professionalism
in the workplace,

115
00:04:55,231 --> 00:04:56,926
and of course he singled me out.

116
00:04:56,999 --> 00:04:59,229
So I just had to mess with him.

117
00:05:01,404 --> 00:05:02,781
You'd understand if
you read the memo,

118
00:05:02,805 --> 00:05:04,085
which I should probably get you.

119
00:05:04,140 --> 00:05:06,768
There's probably
one in the drawer.

120
00:05:06,843 --> 00:05:08,367
It was pretty crazy.

121
00:05:08,444 --> 00:05:09,604
But...

122
00:05:10,380 --> 00:05:12,678
Not more crazy than
wearing a tux at work.

123
00:05:12,749 --> 00:05:14,979
I'll grant you that,
so I'm gonna...

124
00:05:15,051 --> 00:05:16,712
Your name's Jim?
Jim Halpert, yep,

125
00:05:16,786 --> 00:05:19,721
so just gonna let you
get back to it, so...

126
00:05:20,590 --> 00:05:22,421
He just had to
wear his tux today.

127
00:05:22,492 --> 00:05:23,584
I thought I'd be funny.

128
00:05:23,659 --> 00:05:26,059
Took him 40 minutes
to get ready.

129
00:05:28,664 --> 00:05:31,155
All right, let me introduce
you to some of the troops.

130
00:05:31,234 --> 00:05:33,134
Accounting, front and center.

131
00:05:33,202 --> 00:05:36,069
Come on up here.
I'd like you to meet somebody.

132
00:05:36,139 --> 00:05:37,629
This is
the accounting department.

133
00:05:37,707 --> 00:05:39,436
Hey. I come
from accounting, too.

134
00:05:39,876 --> 00:05:40,934
Nerd alert!

135
00:05:41,010 --> 00:05:45,379
This is Oscar Martinez.
He is Latino,

136
00:05:45,948 --> 00:05:50,009
and he just got out of a long-term
relationship with a man, Gil,

137
00:05:50,119 --> 00:05:53,054
who broke his heart, but he didn't
bring any of that into work,

138
00:05:53,122 --> 00:05:55,283
it did not affect his job
performance whatsoever,

139
00:05:55,358 --> 00:05:57,121
and I am very proud of him

140
00:05:57,193 --> 00:05:58,217
for that.

141
00:05:58,294 --> 00:05:59,854
Hey, Oscar,
it's good to meet you. Good.

142
00:05:59,862 --> 00:06:03,491
This little hell-raiser
is Angela.

143
00:06:03,633 --> 00:06:06,761
She has slept with a bunch of
different guys in the office.

144
00:06:06,836 --> 00:06:09,100
The one over there,
in the orange.

145
00:06:09,172 --> 00:06:10,400
Heyo!

146
00:06:10,473 --> 00:06:11,963
Heyo.
Where's the other...

147
00:06:12,041 --> 00:06:14,641
You know, Michael, I don't need
to know everyone's sexual history.

148
00:06:14,710 --> 00:06:17,941
Well, perfect,
because we have now arrived at Kevin,

149
00:06:18,014 --> 00:06:19,538
and he has no sexual history.

150
00:06:19,615 --> 00:06:20,673
Hey!

151
00:06:20,750 --> 00:06:22,980
How about I just say hi
to everyone at one time?

152
00:06:23,052 --> 00:06:24,314
Good! Good, good, good.

153
00:06:24,387 --> 00:06:27,356
Everyone please give
it up for Charles Miner.

154
00:06:27,790 --> 00:06:31,226
Thank you, Michael.
Thank you for the C-shaped bagels.

155
00:06:31,561 --> 00:06:33,756
Well... Above and beyond.
Great. That's great.

156
00:06:33,830 --> 00:06:35,661
Hey, you know,
we're in tough times,

157
00:06:35,731 --> 00:06:37,494
and we're not immune
to this economy.

158
00:06:37,567 --> 00:06:38,829
That's true.
But the goal is

159
00:06:38,901 --> 00:06:40,698
to, you know,
fight our way through this.

160
00:06:42,104 --> 00:06:44,470
Stanley Hudson.
Are there going to be layoffs?

161
00:06:44,540 --> 00:06:45,598
No, absolutely not.

162
00:06:45,675 --> 00:06:46,937
Hold on, Michael, thank you.

163
00:06:47,009 --> 00:06:49,876
Stanley, you know,
we can't make any promises,

164
00:06:49,946 --> 00:06:52,744
but we'll try everything
in our power to avoid that.

165
00:06:52,815 --> 00:06:54,146
Do you have specifics?

166
00:06:54,217 --> 00:06:57,448
Well, Michael should have
filled you in last week.

167
00:06:58,087 --> 00:07:01,887
Well, due to the economy,
there's a lot of worry going around.

168
00:07:01,958 --> 00:07:04,358
I didn't want to worry people.
Well... You didn't tell them.

169
00:07:04,427 --> 00:07:05,553
Why don't...

170
00:07:05,628 --> 00:07:06,748
Yeah, what I told Michael...

171
00:07:06,796 --> 00:07:08,491
Charles is going to tell you.

172
00:07:08,564 --> 00:07:10,794
Is that we are cutting
3% across the board,

173
00:07:10,867 --> 00:07:12,892
which means we will
no longer be matching

174
00:07:12,969 --> 00:07:14,766
401 contributions,

175
00:07:14,837 --> 00:07:17,203
and all overtime
requests will need

176
00:07:17,273 --> 00:07:19,264
to come through
the corporate office.

177
00:07:19,342 --> 00:07:20,900
Fantastic.
Well, it's not official.

178
00:07:20,977 --> 00:07:22,604
It is official.
It is official... Well...

179
00:07:22,678 --> 00:07:24,908
And actually, guys,
I'm encouraging branches

180
00:07:24,981 --> 00:07:27,472
to consider a freeze
on discretionary spending.

181
00:07:27,550 --> 00:07:29,950
Such as salary benefits,
etcetera, etcetera...

182
00:07:30,019 --> 00:07:31,145
No, no.

183
00:07:31,220 --> 00:07:33,120
Insurance.
Not salaries.

184
00:07:33,189 --> 00:07:37,216
Petty cash, supplies and parties.
Things like that.

185
00:07:37,293 --> 00:07:38,317
Well... No.

186
00:07:38,394 --> 00:07:39,588
What about your party?

187
00:07:39,662 --> 00:07:40,822
Okay, okay.
You know what?

188
00:07:40,897 --> 00:07:42,524
I think this has been great.

189
00:07:42,598 --> 00:07:44,964
I think this gives us a lot
to think about, doesn't it?

190
00:07:45,034 --> 00:07:48,060
Charles Miner, ladies and gentlemen.
He has a long trip home.

191
00:07:48,137 --> 00:07:50,148
Thank you for coming in.
We have to get back to work!

192
00:07:50,172 --> 00:07:51,617
Michael, I'm going
to stay for the day.

193
00:07:51,641 --> 00:07:52,961
Oh, no, you don't
have to do that.

194
00:07:52,975 --> 00:07:54,620
I've got this covered.
This was just a meet and greet.

195
00:07:54,644 --> 00:07:56,255
No, this is a little
more involved than that.

196
00:07:56,279 --> 00:07:57,576
I'm gonna set up in here, okay?

197
00:07:57,880 --> 00:07:59,871
I am thrilled that the new boss

198
00:07:59,949 --> 00:08:01,883
has taken such
an active interest

199
00:08:01,951 --> 00:08:05,512
in all of the responsibilities
that I'm supposed to have.

200
00:08:07,156 --> 00:08:08,418
Thrilled.

201
00:08:10,159 --> 00:08:11,922
David, it was my understanding

202
00:08:11,994 --> 00:08:14,019
that I was not
going to be managed.

203
00:08:14,096 --> 00:08:16,064
What gave you that idea?

204
00:08:16,899 --> 00:08:18,093
It was my understanding.

205
00:08:18,167 --> 00:08:19,191
I see.

206
00:08:19,268 --> 00:08:22,669
Listen, why don't we just
leave that position vacant?

207
00:08:22,905 --> 00:08:24,600
Truth be told, I think I thrive

208
00:08:24,674 --> 00:08:26,335
under a lack of accountability.

209
00:08:26,409 --> 00:08:29,207
Look, Michael,
Charles is very qualified.

210
00:08:29,412 --> 00:08:30,436
Get to know him.

211
00:08:30,513 --> 00:08:33,175
I really think the two of you
are going to make a great team.

212
00:08:33,249 --> 00:08:34,511
But the branch is still mine?

213
00:08:34,584 --> 00:08:36,381
You're still
the branch manager, yes.

214
00:08:36,452 --> 00:08:39,580
And if you need anything else at all,
just let Charles know.

215
00:08:39,655 --> 00:08:40,917
Ask him about the party.

216
00:08:40,990 --> 00:08:44,357
Right. David, are you coming to
my fifteenth anniversary party?

217
00:08:44,427 --> 00:08:45,604
I'll give it my
best shot, Michael.

218
00:08:45,628 --> 00:08:46,754
No, no, no, the other thing.

219
00:08:46,829 --> 00:08:49,662
Okay. If we hire Cirque Du
Soleil as salaried employees,

220
00:08:49,732 --> 00:08:52,792
will that help us with
the year-end tax stuff?

221
00:08:58,107 --> 00:08:59,734
Think he hung up?

222
00:09:00,376 --> 00:09:01,400
No.

223
00:09:03,245 --> 00:09:06,442
I just got off the horn with David
Wallace, and he said that you and I

224
00:09:06,515 --> 00:09:09,916
should try to get to know each
other better, and I agree.

225
00:09:09,986 --> 00:09:14,423
So, what I would like you
to do is tell me something

226
00:09:15,458 --> 00:09:17,050
that you've never
told anybody before.

227
00:09:17,126 --> 00:09:18,354
No.

228
00:09:18,427 --> 00:09:20,952
Come on.
What's your wife's name?

229
00:09:22,732 --> 00:09:24,529
Where did you work
before you came here?

230
00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:26,363
Saticoy Steel.

231
00:09:26,435 --> 00:09:27,663
Beautiful!

232
00:09:27,737 --> 00:09:33,573
See, African-Americans have such
a rich history of unusual names.

233
00:09:33,709 --> 00:09:36,803
No, I worked at a company
called Saticoy Steel.

234
00:09:38,881 --> 00:09:40,940
You're not from paper?
No.

235
00:09:41,017 --> 00:09:42,780
Does David know this?
Yeah, he knows.

236
00:09:42,852 --> 00:09:45,047
He just wants a good manager.

237
00:09:45,121 --> 00:09:49,455
Well, that actually is
an excellent segue into,

238
00:09:50,292 --> 00:09:52,332
really, what is my only point... Yeah,
what is that?

239
00:09:52,395 --> 00:09:55,694
And that is,
I don't need to be managed, Charles.

240
00:09:56,332 --> 00:09:59,563
And if you want to pick up
some tips observing here

241
00:09:59,635 --> 00:10:01,480
and take them to the other branches,
it's all good,

242
00:10:01,504 --> 00:10:06,168
but Jan would mostly come by
when she was super horny

243
00:10:06,242 --> 00:10:11,646
and Ryan would come by to visit
his parents and do laundry, so...

244
00:10:14,050 --> 00:10:15,108
Are we clear?

245
00:10:15,184 --> 00:10:17,482
That's not how I plan
on doing things.

246
00:10:17,887 --> 00:10:19,286
Okay, okay.

247
00:10:19,355 --> 00:10:20,947
Well, I'll just
bounce that off David.

248
00:10:21,023 --> 00:10:22,081
See what comes back.

249
00:10:22,158 --> 00:10:24,854
I'll tell David
what he needs to know.

250
00:10:25,127 --> 00:10:27,425
Sorry.
David wants it this way.

251
00:10:28,030 --> 00:10:29,156
Whatever David wants.

252
00:10:29,231 --> 00:10:30,289
Okay.

253
00:10:30,666 --> 00:10:32,657
Michael Scott calling for David.

254
00:10:32,735 --> 00:10:37,399
Well, just tell him to call
me ASAP as possible. Thanks.

255
00:10:38,274 --> 00:10:41,368
Michael, come on, no.
You have to charm them.

256
00:10:44,680 --> 00:10:45,806
David Wallace's office.

257
00:10:45,881 --> 00:10:48,577
Hey there, gorgeous.
How you doing today?

258
00:10:48,651 --> 00:10:49,675
I'm good, thank you.

259
00:10:49,752 --> 00:10:51,219
How's it hanging?

260
00:10:51,287 --> 00:10:52,311
All right.

261
00:10:52,388 --> 00:10:54,481
Good, listen.
My name is Michael

262
00:10:55,991 --> 00:10:57,185
Scotch,

263
00:10:57,893 --> 00:10:59,986
and I just wanted to say

264
00:11:00,062 --> 00:11:03,964
that I've got David Wallace's
son in the trunk of my car.

265
00:11:04,033 --> 00:11:06,126
If he doesn't get on this
phone in five seconds,

266
00:11:06,202 --> 00:11:07,396
I'm gonna start...

267
00:11:07,470 --> 00:11:08,801
What are you doing? God!

268
00:11:10,139 --> 00:11:12,664
Oh, my God.

269
00:11:14,076 --> 00:11:15,100
David Wallace's office.

270
00:11:15,177 --> 00:11:18,374
Hi, Stephanie,
it's Michael Scott again.

271
00:11:19,014 --> 00:11:20,192
I just spoke
with Michael Scotch,

272
00:11:20,216 --> 00:11:21,843
and the son's
going to be returned.

273
00:11:21,917 --> 00:11:22,941
Everything's fine.

274
00:11:23,018 --> 00:11:24,018
Michael...

275
00:11:24,086 --> 00:11:26,054
And I really, really
need to talk to David.

276
00:11:26,122 --> 00:11:27,521
Please hold.

277
00:11:28,124 --> 00:11:29,614
Charles Miner.

278
00:11:30,259 --> 00:11:32,454
Hello? Hello, who is this?

279
00:11:34,897 --> 00:11:35,921
Who is this?

280
00:11:35,998 --> 00:11:37,590
I was never given a name.

281
00:11:59,622 --> 00:12:00,816
Hi, can I help you?

282
00:12:00,890 --> 00:12:02,016
I don't think anyone here...

283
00:12:02,091 --> 00:12:05,925
Pam. Hey, everyone,
lunch is on me today.

284
00:12:07,329 --> 00:12:08,353
Whoa!

285
00:12:08,430 --> 00:12:09,474
Wow! That is so unnecessary.

286
00:12:09,498 --> 00:12:11,693
Are you kidding me with this?

287
00:12:11,801 --> 00:12:13,211
On the day that
I bring in breakfast?

288
00:12:13,235 --> 00:12:14,532
Hey, man, it's no big deal.

289
00:12:14,603 --> 00:12:18,505
I wish you had told us sooner,
because I was going to go

290
00:12:18,574 --> 00:12:20,252
to the vending machine
and get an egg salad.

291
00:12:20,276 --> 00:12:22,403
You still have that option.

292
00:12:22,812 --> 00:12:24,575
Thanks again, Charles.
You're welcome.

293
00:12:24,647 --> 00:12:25,647
Thank you.

294
00:12:25,714 --> 00:12:28,808
Nobody thanked me for
breakfast except Charles.

295
00:12:31,854 --> 00:12:33,651
You say no more parties,

296
00:12:33,722 --> 00:12:35,917
and then you spend all
of this money on lunch.

297
00:12:35,991 --> 00:12:37,424
I think it's
a little hypercritical.

298
00:12:37,493 --> 00:12:39,393
I do this for
every branch I go to.

299
00:12:39,461 --> 00:12:42,726
If you do not like it,
then I think there are some bagels

300
00:12:42,798 --> 00:12:44,925
left over from this morning.

301
00:12:46,502 --> 00:12:49,300
Damn it, Stephanie,
put me through to him.

302
00:12:49,638 --> 00:12:52,232
Is that him in the background?
David?

303
00:12:52,608 --> 00:12:54,940
David.
David, pick up the phone.

304
00:12:56,512 --> 00:12:58,275
Should I seduce him?

305
00:12:59,448 --> 00:13:01,643
No. No one
wants to see that.

306
00:13:04,820 --> 00:13:05,820
Michael.

307
00:13:05,888 --> 00:13:06,946
Okay. Yep?

308
00:13:07,590 --> 00:13:11,390
I just realized that
I used the 2008 calendar

309
00:13:11,460 --> 00:13:13,951
to do the spreadsheets
for January and February.

310
00:13:14,029 --> 00:13:16,327
I may need to come in
this weekend to fix it.

311
00:13:16,398 --> 00:13:17,398
Do some overtime.

312
00:13:17,466 --> 00:13:18,577
Want to do some overtime this weekend?

313
00:13:18,601 --> 00:13:19,601
You know what, Kevin?

314
00:13:19,668 --> 00:13:21,135
I applaud your initiative.

315
00:13:21,203 --> 00:13:22,568
Yes, you may.

316
00:13:22,638 --> 00:13:24,697
No, sorry, Michael.
No, Kevin, right?

317
00:13:25,441 --> 00:13:27,932
Gonna need you to do that
during office hours.

318
00:13:28,010 --> 00:13:29,671
Okay.
Okay. Thank you.

319
00:13:29,745 --> 00:13:32,270
Kevin, this is my branch.

320
00:13:32,348 --> 00:13:34,213
You don't ask Charles.
You ask me.

321
00:13:34,483 --> 00:13:35,507
I say approved.

322
00:13:35,584 --> 00:13:36,895
That's not the way
it's gonna work.

323
00:13:36,919 --> 00:13:38,944
Yes, it is.
No, it is not.

324
00:13:40,055 --> 00:13:41,079
No, it is not.

325
00:13:41,156 --> 00:13:42,601
Okay, so we're on
the same page, great.

326
00:13:42,625 --> 00:13:44,069
Okay, so we're on
the same page, great!

327
00:13:44,093 --> 00:13:45,213
Okay, Michael.
No, seriously.

328
00:13:45,261 --> 00:13:46,558
Okay, Michael.
No, seriously.

329
00:13:46,629 --> 00:13:47,960
How old are you?
How old are you?

330
00:13:48,030 --> 00:13:49,030
Oh, no.

331
00:13:49,098 --> 00:13:52,158
I can tell Michael's mood by which
comedy routine he chooses to do.

332
00:13:52,234 --> 00:13:54,532
The more infantile,
the more upset he is.

333
00:13:54,603 --> 00:13:57,504
And he just skipped the Ace
Ventura talking-butt thing.

334
00:13:57,573 --> 00:13:59,097
He never skips it.

335
00:13:59,742 --> 00:14:00,902
This is bad.

336
00:14:01,076 --> 00:14:02,703
Five years old.
Five years old.

337
00:14:02,778 --> 00:14:04,211
Dude, stop.

338
00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:06,009
Michael!
This is great.

339
00:14:06,081 --> 00:14:07,225
Michael,
stop doing that! This is great.

340
00:14:07,249 --> 00:14:08,293
A whole mess of trouble.
Stop it!

341
00:14:08,317 --> 00:14:09,317
I'm going to walk away.

342
00:14:09,385 --> 00:14:10,647
I'm going to walk away.

343
00:14:10,719 --> 00:14:11,777
Stop doing that!

344
00:14:11,854 --> 00:14:14,982
I'm kidding around.
Wow! Relax, everybody.

345
00:14:15,057 --> 00:14:17,218
It's just a joke.
It's fine.

346
00:14:17,293 --> 00:14:20,922
Boy, so touchy.
PPC, let's continue our morning meeting

347
00:14:20,996 --> 00:14:22,293
in the conference room.

348
00:14:22,665 --> 00:14:26,567
And then out of that cake pops another
stripper holding a smaller cake,

349
00:14:26,769 --> 00:14:29,533
and then an even smaller
stripper pops out of that one.

350
00:14:29,605 --> 00:14:31,402
What is that
smaller stripper holding?

351
00:14:31,473 --> 00:14:32,599
A cupcake.
Nice.

352
00:14:32,675 --> 00:14:34,435
It's cupcakes and strippers
all the way down.

353
00:14:34,476 --> 00:14:35,568
Okay.

354
00:14:36,078 --> 00:14:38,171
What exactly is the PPC?

355
00:14:39,415 --> 00:14:41,940
That's the Party
Planning Committee.

356
00:14:42,017 --> 00:14:44,451
They spend hours
planning parties.

357
00:14:44,853 --> 00:14:46,445
Excuse me, guys.

358
00:14:47,256 --> 00:14:49,000
What's going on in here?
Party Planning Committee.

359
00:14:49,024 --> 00:14:50,321
Not your concern, Charles.

360
00:14:50,392 --> 00:14:53,054
This doesn't seem like a good
way to spend company time.

361
00:14:53,128 --> 00:14:55,289
Really? Well, then,
how would we come up

362
00:14:55,364 --> 00:14:58,128
with great ideas
like Jim's? Go ahead.

363
00:14:58,267 --> 00:14:59,811
No, I would like to get
back to work, actually.

364
00:14:59,835 --> 00:15:01,928
- Please.
- What you got, Jim?

365
00:15:02,905 --> 00:15:05,135
What is
a two-way petting zoo?

366
00:15:07,109 --> 00:15:09,805
You pet the animals,
they pet you back.

367
00:15:10,479 --> 00:15:12,037
It's a great idea.
And we have a cake

368
00:15:12,114 --> 00:15:14,048
in the shape of a bale of hay.

369
00:15:14,116 --> 00:15:15,716
It's really just
a regular-shaped cake...

370
00:15:15,718 --> 00:15:17,151
- But it's cool, and it's...
- No.

371
00:15:17,219 --> 00:15:19,449
This isn't a good use
of company time, Michael.

372
00:15:19,521 --> 00:15:22,752
Whoa. You're talking about
my anniversary party, so...

373
00:15:22,825 --> 00:15:25,555
Okay, everyone except for Michael,
go back to your desks.

374
00:15:25,627 --> 00:15:27,254
Yeah, why don't you do that?

375
00:15:27,329 --> 00:15:29,388
Yeah, here we go. Okay.
Okay.

376
00:15:30,065 --> 00:15:33,000
Okay, Michael,
I'm dissolving this committee.

377
00:15:33,102 --> 00:15:34,592
What?
Yeah, I mean, come on!

378
00:15:34,670 --> 00:15:37,537
This is a workplace.
It isn't designed for your vanity.

379
00:15:37,606 --> 00:15:40,598
Newsflash.
I've been here for 15 years.

380
00:15:41,043 --> 00:15:43,307
Headline. You have
been here one day.

381
00:15:43,379 --> 00:15:44,744
End of story.

382
00:15:44,813 --> 00:15:48,874
You have no right to cancel my
fifteenth anniversary party.

383
00:15:48,984 --> 00:15:51,077
End of story.
End of story! End of story!

384
00:15:51,153 --> 00:15:52,564
I don't care
if I've hurt your feelings

385
00:15:52,588 --> 00:15:55,853
or you do not agree with my methods,
but it is over.

386
00:15:55,924 --> 00:15:59,382
Okay, no, no, no, you know what?
I'm going to New York,

387
00:15:59,695 --> 00:16:02,129
and I am going to talk
to David Wallace.

388
00:16:02,197 --> 00:16:04,097
I'm going to
tell him everything,

389
00:16:04,166 --> 00:16:06,430
and I'm sorry to say,
you're screwed.

390
00:16:06,502 --> 00:16:08,094
And you know what?

391
00:16:08,170 --> 00:16:10,730
You are gonna be through.

392
00:16:10,806 --> 00:16:13,331
And I'm sorry.
I'm sorry to do that to you.

393
00:16:13,609 --> 00:16:14,633
Right.

394
00:16:14,710 --> 00:16:16,575
Do you even know
how paper is made?

395
00:16:17,579 --> 00:16:18,739
It's not like steel.

396
00:16:18,814 --> 00:16:20,941
You don't put it into a furnace!

397
00:16:22,151 --> 00:16:25,018
If you put paper into a furnace,
you know what would happen?

398
00:16:25,087 --> 00:16:26,714
You'd ruin it!

399
00:16:36,966 --> 00:16:38,194
Come in.

400
00:16:38,735 --> 00:16:39,997
Hey!
Hey.

401
00:16:40,069 --> 00:16:41,627
All right, Charles,
I gotta be honest.

402
00:16:41,704 --> 00:16:44,798
I think we really got off
on the wrong foot here,

403
00:16:44,874 --> 00:16:49,243
and, truth be told,
I'm a pretty smart guy and a hard worker

404
00:16:49,312 --> 00:16:51,007
and I'm a great
number two for the office.

405
00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:52,138
Number two?

406
00:16:52,215 --> 00:16:54,376
Second-in-command
to Michael.

407
00:16:54,450 --> 00:16:57,010
I didn't know that
position existed.

408
00:16:57,253 --> 00:16:59,744
That's because at first it was
a made-up position for Dwight,

409
00:16:59,822 --> 00:17:00,899
just to make him feel better.

410
00:17:00,923 --> 00:17:02,584
Assistant to
the Regional Manager.

411
00:17:02,658 --> 00:17:04,536
But then he lost that,
and Michael gave it to me.

412
00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:07,290
So you're the Assistant
to the Regional Manager?

413
00:17:07,363 --> 00:17:08,762
Assistant
Regional Manager, yeah.

414
00:17:08,831 --> 00:17:11,595
Any responsibilities
come with it?

415
00:17:13,269 --> 00:17:14,269
No, not exactly.

416
00:17:14,337 --> 00:17:17,204
Do you want to keep
this made-up position?

417
00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:19,905
It's important to you?

418
00:17:22,044 --> 00:17:24,035
All right, I will...

419
00:17:24,113 --> 00:17:26,191
I'm just going to let you get
back to it. Yeah, would you...

420
00:17:26,215 --> 00:17:27,682
Yep.
Thanks.

421
00:17:33,956 --> 00:17:36,481
Hello, Stephanie.
Okay, where is he?

422
00:17:38,761 --> 00:17:39,989
Michael.

423
00:17:41,631 --> 00:17:44,623
So is this the meeting
you've been in all day?

424
00:17:44,700 --> 00:17:45,860
How did you get here, Michael?

425
00:17:45,868 --> 00:17:47,426
I drove.

426
00:17:49,071 --> 00:17:50,163
Okay.

427
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:53,341
Cancelled my fifteenth
anniversary party.

428
00:17:53,409 --> 00:17:55,172
Just pulled the rug
out from under me.

429
00:17:55,244 --> 00:17:58,213
He said no figs.
I've already bought them,

430
00:17:58,281 --> 00:18:00,181
and I don't have
a place to store them.

431
00:18:00,249 --> 00:18:03,047
So I feel like
I've been sort of boned.

432
00:18:03,252 --> 00:18:05,015
Michael... Did you
talk to him about this?

433
00:18:05,087 --> 00:18:07,351
You've talked to him
all day, obviously.

434
00:18:07,423 --> 00:18:08,890
Did you talk to him about this?

435
00:18:08,958 --> 00:18:10,918
Well, I didn't know about
the figs specifically...

436
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:12,160
No, okay, then I don't get it.

437
00:18:12,228 --> 00:18:13,525
It doesn't make any sense to me,

438
00:18:13,596 --> 00:18:14,840
because I thought
the new system was

439
00:18:14,864 --> 00:18:16,889
that I was supposed
to talk to Charles,

440
00:18:16,966 --> 00:18:18,610
and then Charles was
supposed to talk to you,

441
00:18:18,634 --> 00:18:20,864
and that would dilute
any need for me

442
00:18:20,937 --> 00:18:22,199
to ever talk to you again.

443
00:18:22,271 --> 00:18:23,415
That's not exactly the system...

444
00:18:23,439 --> 00:18:25,236
Clearly that's what you wanted.

445
00:18:25,308 --> 00:18:26,332
No...

446
00:18:26,409 --> 00:18:27,842
Fifteen years I've been here,

447
00:18:28,077 --> 00:18:30,170
and I have sacrificed a lot.

448
00:18:30,980 --> 00:18:32,038
Yes.

449
00:18:32,114 --> 00:18:33,672
I've put having
a family on hold.

450
00:18:34,550 --> 00:18:35,710
We didn't ask you to do that.

451
00:18:35,785 --> 00:18:38,083
And I have never
gone hang-gliding.

452
00:18:38,187 --> 00:18:41,918
And I've never driven my car
to the top of Mount Washington.

453
00:18:44,060 --> 00:18:45,152
Okay.

454
00:18:45,261 --> 00:18:47,024
- Nice meeting everyone.
- All right.

455
00:18:47,096 --> 00:18:48,893
I'll see you in a couple of weeks.
Cool.

456
00:18:48,965 --> 00:18:50,296
Excellent.

457
00:18:51,133 --> 00:18:54,125
It was very nice meeting you,
Charles Miner.

458
00:18:55,705 --> 00:18:56,831
Okay.

459
00:18:57,573 --> 00:18:58,835
See you.

460
00:19:01,677 --> 00:19:02,905
See you!

461
00:19:04,747 --> 00:19:05,805
Bye!

462
00:19:09,252 --> 00:19:13,154
And for my next trick,
I will make my career disappear.

463
00:19:14,056 --> 00:19:15,887
I could see our kids
facing obstacles,

464
00:19:15,958 --> 00:19:17,755
being half black
and half Indian,

465
00:19:17,827 --> 00:19:20,125
but it's so worth it, you guys.

466
00:19:20,730 --> 00:19:22,220
There's just me here.

467
00:19:22,298 --> 00:19:24,823
I am going to get him to
buy me a prime rib tonight.

468
00:19:24,901 --> 00:19:26,801
I think he left.
What?

469
00:19:28,471 --> 00:19:29,563
Move!

470
00:19:31,574 --> 00:19:33,098
Hello? Charles?

471
00:19:33,643 --> 00:19:34,871
Charles?

472
00:19:35,144 --> 00:19:36,202
Hey!

473
00:19:37,179 --> 00:19:38,840
Is that his scarf?

474
00:19:39,782 --> 00:19:40,806
No!

475
00:19:42,919 --> 00:19:45,353
Charles and Kelly?
Absolutely not.

476
00:19:46,055 --> 00:19:48,080
He is a sophisticated man.

477
00:19:48,291 --> 00:19:52,489
He does not need to go dumpster-diving
for companionship, okay?

478
00:19:53,796 --> 00:19:59,029
I don't understand that,
after 15 years of service here,

479
00:19:59,735 --> 00:20:03,227
I have to get in a car and drive to
New York in order to talk to you.

480
00:20:03,306 --> 00:20:05,171
That doesn't seem right to me.

481
00:20:05,241 --> 00:20:07,869
That doesn't seem fair,
and I think

482
00:20:09,312 --> 00:20:11,644
that I've earned more than that.

483
00:20:15,551 --> 00:20:16,643
Yep.

484
00:20:18,421 --> 00:20:21,254
You're right, yes.
I get it. I get it, Michael.

485
00:20:21,324 --> 00:20:23,292
Okay.
Here's what I'm gonna do.

486
00:20:23,359 --> 00:20:24,383
Okay.

487
00:20:24,460 --> 00:20:26,758
We will move some money around,

488
00:20:27,163 --> 00:20:30,724
and I will personally see to
it that you have your party,

489
00:20:31,300 --> 00:20:34,201
you have your figs.
I will be in attendance.

490
00:20:34,270 --> 00:20:36,602
It's gonna be great.
How's that?

491
00:20:42,345 --> 00:20:44,040
I quit.

492
00:20:44,113 --> 00:20:45,239
What?

493
00:20:47,550 --> 00:20:50,542
Michael.
You have no idea how high I can fly.

494
00:20:51,675 --> 00:21:01,675
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