1
00:00:08,177 --> 00:00:10,270
You gonna answer that, Kev?

2
00:00:10,979 --> 00:00:12,640
Oh, right. Thanks.

3
00:00:15,017 --> 00:00:17,679
Dunder Mifflin.
This is Kevin.

4
00:00:17,753 --> 00:00:19,812
Please hold
while I transfer you.

5
00:00:20,456 --> 00:00:22,321
Oscar! Your mom!

6
00:00:24,093 --> 00:00:27,426
Charles is having Kevin
cover the phones for a while.

7
00:00:27,496 --> 00:00:29,930
How do I say this
diplomatically?

8
00:00:30,032 --> 00:00:33,524
I think Kevin is doing exactly as
well as anyone might have expected

9
00:00:33,602 --> 00:00:36,901
someone like him to perform
in a position like that.

10
00:00:38,740 --> 00:00:40,139
Please hold.

11
00:00:40,209 --> 00:00:41,801
Andy! Phone call!

12
00:00:41,877 --> 00:00:43,401
No, stay there.

13
00:00:43,745 --> 00:00:46,646
Kev, I thought we nailed the
whole transfer thing earlier.

14
00:00:46,715 --> 00:00:49,479
Yeah, I wrote it on my hand,
but then I washed it.

15
00:00:49,551 --> 00:00:52,520
It is "transfer,"extension,"
and then "transfer" again.

16
00:00:52,588 --> 00:00:54,453
Okay. Andy, get ready.

17
00:00:54,723 --> 00:00:55,763
- Transfer...
- Here we go.

18
00:00:55,791 --> 00:00:57,383
Extension, transfer.

19
00:00:57,459 --> 00:00:58,926
Ah!

20
00:00:58,994 --> 00:01:00,256
Oh, man!

21
00:01:00,329 --> 00:01:01,921
It is 134!

22
00:01:02,064 --> 00:01:03,088
Kev!
Kev, come on!

23
00:01:03,165 --> 00:01:04,165
Hustle!
Hold on!

24
00:01:04,233 --> 00:01:05,928
You are murdering
the Nard-Dog!

25
00:01:06,001 --> 00:01:09,334
This is Kevin. Please hold,
and I will transfer you.

26
00:01:10,572 --> 00:01:11,869
You're bad at this, too!

27
00:01:11,940 --> 00:01:13,100
Don't answer that call!

28
00:01:13,175 --> 00:01:15,200
Just transfer the damn call.

29
00:01:15,277 --> 00:01:17,711
Your call is very
important to us.

30
00:01:22,351 --> 00:01:24,444
Okay, way to go.

31
00:01:25,387 --> 00:01:26,854
My maid died.

32
00:01:28,270 --> 00:01:34,344
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

33
00:01:50,078 --> 00:01:54,481
Today is my first day at my new
job at Michael Scott Paper Company, Inc.

34
00:01:55,384 --> 00:01:58,182
You know, Apple Computer
started in a garage.

35
00:01:58,253 --> 00:01:59,914
And we're starting in a condo.

36
00:01:59,988 --> 00:02:01,979
So we already have
a leg up on Apple.

37
00:02:02,057 --> 00:02:04,821
Look, it's official.

38
00:02:07,829 --> 00:02:09,694
Oh, good, my hooker's here.

39
00:02:09,765 --> 00:02:12,063
I'm kidding! Hi!

40
00:02:12,134 --> 00:02:13,545
Michael, you were
expecting me, right?

41
00:02:13,569 --> 00:02:15,469
Yes, I was.
Yes, I was.

42
00:02:15,837 --> 00:02:17,397
Are you wearing anything
under the robe?

43
00:02:17,439 --> 00:02:20,135
That is inappropriate, Pam.
Come on in.

44
00:02:23,745 --> 00:02:25,076
This looks great, Michael.

45
00:02:25,147 --> 00:02:26,512
Thank you.

46
00:02:27,115 --> 00:02:28,776
Would you like
some French toast?

47
00:02:28,850 --> 00:02:30,010
Yes, please.

48
00:02:30,085 --> 00:02:31,450
What shape?

49
00:02:32,187 --> 00:02:34,280
Square is fine.
All right.

50
00:02:34,489 --> 00:02:36,855
I just wanted to fill
you in on a few details.

51
00:02:36,925 --> 00:02:39,052
As you know, I will be
running the branch

52
00:02:39,127 --> 00:02:40,738
while we search for
Michael's replacement,

53
00:02:40,762 --> 00:02:42,696
so please feel free
to come to me

54
00:02:42,764 --> 00:02:44,129
with any questions or concerns.

55
00:02:44,199 --> 00:02:45,199
Yeah.

56
00:02:45,267 --> 00:02:47,462
Where will you be staying
while you're in Scranton?

57
00:02:47,536 --> 00:02:49,527
Staying? In a hotel.

58
00:02:49,938 --> 00:02:51,530
Charles, where were you born?

59
00:02:51,607 --> 00:02:55,509
Actually, I meant questions more about
the day-to-day operations of the company.

60
00:02:55,577 --> 00:02:56,976
Okay? Yeah.

61
00:02:58,413 --> 00:03:01,678
How are operations of the company,
just day-to-day?

62
00:03:03,652 --> 00:03:07,144
Okay, let's go over
non-discretionary cuts, okay, guys?

63
00:03:13,562 --> 00:03:15,996
Thank you. So...

64
00:03:16,064 --> 00:03:18,157
Can you please stop that?
What?

65
00:03:18,233 --> 00:03:20,531
You're breathing very heavily.

66
00:03:20,602 --> 00:03:22,399
This is how I breathe.
No, it's not...

67
00:03:22,471 --> 00:03:25,872
Okay, Jim Halpert,
I need your eyes up front.

68
00:03:25,941 --> 00:03:29,900
Oh, no, I was just... No, hey, hey,
I just want to hear "yes."

69
00:03:33,081 --> 00:03:34,173
Yes.

70
00:03:34,850 --> 00:03:35,976
Good.

71
00:03:36,318 --> 00:03:37,615
As I was saying...

72
00:03:37,686 --> 00:03:41,850
Oh, no! The new boss
does not find Jim adorable!

73
00:03:41,923 --> 00:03:43,220
Oh.

74
00:03:45,193 --> 00:03:47,058
So, what do you say
we get started?

75
00:03:47,129 --> 00:03:49,222
After breakfast.
I'm full.

76
00:03:49,531 --> 00:03:51,362
So, how are you feeling
about the new company?

77
00:03:51,433 --> 00:03:53,060
I feel good. Wow.

78
00:03:53,902 --> 00:03:55,563
Are you excited about
the new company?

79
00:03:55,637 --> 00:03:57,901
Yeah, I'm excited to
start the company.

80
00:03:57,973 --> 00:03:59,600
After breakfast.

81
00:04:00,275 --> 00:04:03,108
We did that, so what's next?

82
00:04:04,746 --> 00:04:08,045
Michael, just stop for a second.
Michael, stop for a second.

83
00:04:08,116 --> 00:04:09,627
No, I'm whipping up...
No, I know you are.

84
00:04:09,651 --> 00:04:10,762
Just let me have...
Let go, please.

85
00:04:10,786 --> 00:04:12,447
Just give me...
Fine!

86
00:04:13,021 --> 00:04:15,751
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

87
00:04:17,759 --> 00:04:19,351
I can't do this.

88
00:04:20,929 --> 00:04:22,658
This is pathetic, isn't it?

89
00:04:23,899 --> 00:04:25,628
I am such an idiot.

90
00:04:25,767 --> 00:04:28,827
I gave up the only job
I ever loved to do this?

91
00:04:33,241 --> 00:04:35,175
I have egg in my Crocs.

92
00:04:36,812 --> 00:04:40,043
I never see him drink.
I never see him eat.

93
00:04:40,115 --> 00:04:42,675
I don't think he even uses the bathroom.

94
00:04:42,751 --> 00:04:45,151
Oh, he does. He does.

95
00:04:45,387 --> 00:04:47,082
I feel weak today.

96
00:04:47,556 --> 00:04:49,854
I felt much stronger yesterday.

97
00:04:50,492 --> 00:04:52,426
Like Benjamin Button in reverse.

98
00:04:52,494 --> 00:04:54,553
You know, Michael,
when I feel overwhelmed...

99
00:04:54,629 --> 00:04:56,187
I'm not overwhelmed, Pam.

100
00:04:56,264 --> 00:04:59,825
I know. No, I'm saying that
when I feel overwhelmed,

101
00:04:59,901 --> 00:05:02,893
something I like to do
is make a list.

102
00:05:03,638 --> 00:05:06,436
Make a list of things to do,

103
00:05:06,508 --> 00:05:08,032
and then start with
the easy stuff.

104
00:05:08,110 --> 00:05:09,134
Whatever calms you down.

105
00:05:09,211 --> 00:05:12,146
Okay, first, work out.

106
00:05:12,581 --> 00:05:15,106
And hey, look, you did that.

107
00:05:15,984 --> 00:05:17,144
Check.

108
00:05:17,819 --> 00:05:19,844
Eat an enormous breakfast.

109
00:05:20,722 --> 00:05:22,883
Check.
Don't patronize me, Pam.

110
00:05:22,958 --> 00:05:24,001
I think you should get dressed.

111
00:05:24,025 --> 00:05:25,253
I'm not getting dressed.

112
00:05:25,327 --> 00:05:28,854
I'm not getting dressed. I have too
many things to do before I get dressed.

113
00:05:28,930 --> 00:05:30,397
I need to find 100 clients.

114
00:05:30,465 --> 00:05:31,830
Michael, that seems impossible.

115
00:05:31,900 --> 00:05:32,958
It's totally impossible.

116
00:05:33,034 --> 00:05:38,131
We need to come up with one realistic
thing that we could do today.

117
00:05:38,507 --> 00:05:40,941
Assemble a sales team.
A dream team.

118
00:05:41,009 --> 00:05:42,101
Great.

119
00:05:42,177 --> 00:05:43,405
Okay, Ryan.

120
00:05:43,478 --> 00:05:45,605
No. What? Why?

121
00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:48,114
He's everything I'm not,
and everything I am.

122
00:05:48,183 --> 00:05:49,411
He's the whole package.

123
00:05:49,484 --> 00:05:50,781
No, we're not gonna hire Ryan.

124
00:05:50,852 --> 00:05:54,344
Um... Oh, Vikram!
Best salesman I've ever met.

125
00:05:54,923 --> 00:05:57,756
Okay.
He worked at that telemarketing place.

126
00:05:57,826 --> 00:05:59,157
We'll find him.
Okay.

127
00:05:59,227 --> 00:06:03,129
Oh, also, we have a meeting this
afternoon with a potential investor.

128
00:06:03,198 --> 00:06:04,222
Really?
Yeah.

129
00:06:04,299 --> 00:06:05,766
We have an investor already?
Maybe.

130
00:06:05,834 --> 00:06:07,802
Barbara Keavis.
She invests in local businesses

131
00:06:07,869 --> 00:06:10,770
and I'm putting together
a little presentation for her.

132
00:06:10,839 --> 00:06:12,101
Michael, that's fantastic.

133
00:06:12,174 --> 00:06:13,937
Yeah, I guess it's not so bad.

134
00:06:14,009 --> 00:06:15,704
Got a few things cooking.

135
00:06:16,011 --> 00:06:17,103
Um...

136
00:06:17,179 --> 00:06:19,443
Hey! We need to
get you dressed.

137
00:06:19,648 --> 00:06:21,343
I have doubts about this, too,

138
00:06:21,416 --> 00:06:22,974
but when one person freaks out,

139
00:06:23,051 --> 00:06:26,282
sometimes it weirdly makes
the other one calmer.

140
00:06:26,421 --> 00:06:29,447
That's one thing I've
learned about relationships.

141
00:06:29,524 --> 00:06:32,618
I hate that I just used
the word "relationship."

142
00:06:32,894 --> 00:06:35,158
Hey! You look great!

143
00:06:37,132 --> 00:06:38,929
Let's go.
All right.

144
00:06:41,536 --> 00:06:42,560
Oh.

145
00:06:43,972 --> 00:06:45,166
You a soccer fan?

146
00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:47,674
Oh, yeah, I'm so embarrassed.

147
00:06:48,043 --> 00:06:50,354
You weren't supposed to see this.
This is like my secret obsession.

148
00:06:50,378 --> 00:06:52,676
Yeah, well,
that makes two of us.

149
00:06:52,747 --> 00:06:53,771
No way!
Yeah.

150
00:06:53,849 --> 00:06:55,339
I hate soccer.

151
00:06:55,984 --> 00:06:57,918
But guess who doesn't
hate soccer.

152
00:06:57,986 --> 00:06:59,146
Charles Miner.

153
00:06:59,254 --> 00:07:02,519
I was actually in Germany for
the 2006 World Cup finals.

154
00:07:04,292 --> 00:07:06,783
You bastard!
That should have been me!

155
00:07:06,862 --> 00:07:09,592
Yeah, I love the sport.
I love the sport. All right, man.

156
00:07:09,664 --> 00:07:10,756
Cool!

157
00:07:13,602 --> 00:07:15,661
I've never been a kiss-up.

158
00:07:16,371 --> 00:07:18,771
I... It's just not
how I operate.

159
00:07:19,574 --> 00:07:21,214
I mean, I've always
subscribed to the idea

160
00:07:21,243 --> 00:07:23,370
that if you really want
to impress your boss,

161
00:07:23,445 --> 00:07:27,108
you go in there, and you do
mediocre work, half-heartedly.

162
00:07:27,816 --> 00:07:30,751
Next on the list, open the mail.

163
00:07:30,819 --> 00:07:34,016
Oh, wow, "Michael Scott
Paper Company."

164
00:07:34,589 --> 00:07:36,250
Okay.

165
00:07:36,558 --> 00:07:38,082
Very official.

166
00:07:39,794 --> 00:07:44,094
"Dear Mr. Scott, please be
advised that it is in violation"

167
00:07:44,165 --> 00:07:46,292
"of your condominium
agreement to conduct"

168
00:07:46,368 --> 00:07:48,996
"a business headquartered
in your residence."

169
00:07:49,070 --> 00:07:50,715
"The penalty,
a forfeiture of residence..."

170
00:07:50,739 --> 00:07:52,639
No, okay, it's fine, it's fine.

171
00:07:52,707 --> 00:07:54,834
We're just gonna add,
"Find office."

172
00:07:54,910 --> 00:07:56,400
How are we gonna find an office?

173
00:07:56,478 --> 00:07:57,598
How can we pay for an office?

174
00:07:57,612 --> 00:07:59,910
Next on the list,
"song parodies."

175
00:07:59,981 --> 00:08:02,176
Okay, okay, Achy Breaky Fart.

176
00:08:02,250 --> 00:08:03,361
Great, let's sing it in the car.

177
00:08:03,385 --> 00:08:04,977
No, no, no, no, My Stumps.

178
00:08:05,053 --> 00:08:06,918
Like My Humps,
but with a guy with no legs.

179
00:08:06,988 --> 00:08:08,853
Yeah.
We can do this.

180
00:08:09,024 --> 00:08:10,048
We can do this.

181
00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:16,595
Whoa, and he just goes, boom, goal!
Yeah, that's... That's Pele.

182
00:08:16,665 --> 00:08:18,098
You know your soccer, man.
I do.

183
00:08:18,166 --> 00:08:21,863
I prefer Maradona.
Diego Maradona.

184
00:08:21,937 --> 00:08:23,336
Oh, yeah?
From Argentina.

185
00:08:23,405 --> 00:08:26,397
I didn't know we had so many
soccer fans in the office.

186
00:08:26,474 --> 00:08:28,994
I mean, to be fair, I was the
first one to talk about it, but...

187
00:08:29,010 --> 00:08:31,069
Yeah, what about you, Jim?
You a fan of the game?

188
00:08:31,146 --> 00:08:32,977
Oh, no. No, not really.

189
00:08:33,048 --> 00:08:35,346
Well, it's not for
everybody, I suppose.

190
00:08:36,685 --> 00:08:38,812
That's 'cause I'm more
of a player.

191
00:08:38,887 --> 00:08:39,945
Oh, yeah?
You bet.

192
00:08:40,021 --> 00:08:41,454
Really, Jim?

193
00:08:42,958 --> 00:08:45,290
I had no idea you played soccer.

194
00:08:45,727 --> 00:08:48,594
'Cause you never,
ever talk about it.

195
00:08:49,331 --> 00:08:50,491
- Well, I do. I play.
- Wow!

196
00:08:50,565 --> 00:08:51,930
You can be so modest sometimes.

197
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:53,144
Maybe we should
get back to work.

198
00:08:53,168 --> 00:08:55,830
Maybe you and Charles should
kick the soccer ball around.

199
00:08:55,904 --> 00:08:56,928
Maybe we will someday.

200
00:08:57,005 --> 00:08:58,849
Maybe you will tonight after work.
What do you say?

201
00:08:58,873 --> 00:09:00,340
It's a great idea, Dwight.

202
00:09:00,408 --> 00:09:03,377
Great ideas are just part of
what I bring to the table.

203
00:09:04,546 --> 00:09:06,090
I don't try and be
anything that I'm not.

204
00:09:06,114 --> 00:09:08,446
What do you say, Jim?
Huh, want to play some soccer?

205
00:09:08,516 --> 00:09:09,574
Hey, anybody else?

206
00:09:09,651 --> 00:09:10,651
I'm into that.
Sounds fun.

207
00:09:10,719 --> 00:09:12,482
Game on!
Okay.

208
00:09:12,721 --> 00:09:14,882
See you on the field, Jim-bro. See...

209
00:09:14,956 --> 00:09:16,514
I can't wait!

210
00:09:16,992 --> 00:09:19,620
Yep, I used to play
soccer in school.

211
00:09:19,928 --> 00:09:22,055
From second to fourth grade.

212
00:09:22,263 --> 00:09:23,992
I was on the orange team.

213
00:09:29,204 --> 00:09:31,297
We got Vikram!
You got me.

214
00:09:32,307 --> 00:09:34,070
Where are we going?

215
00:09:34,242 --> 00:09:35,620
We have a meeting
with an investor today.

216
00:09:35,644 --> 00:09:38,636
Yes, we do, so get excited.

217
00:09:39,814 --> 00:09:43,306
But I have to go to the
bathroom real quick.

218
00:09:43,785 --> 00:09:46,549
If you'll excuse me,
I'll be right back.

219
00:09:48,556 --> 00:09:50,751
He seems really confident.
He can be.

220
00:09:50,825 --> 00:09:52,292
Confidence...

221
00:09:52,661 --> 00:09:56,290
It's the food of the wise man,
but the liquor of the fool.

222
00:09:56,631 --> 00:09:57,655
Hmm.

223
00:09:57,732 --> 00:10:01,395
I'm looking forward to getting
to know you better, Vikram.

224
00:10:01,536 --> 00:10:05,370
Hey, I would like
a pair of Size 9, please.

225
00:10:07,275 --> 00:10:09,800
It's Michael.
I'm swamped, Michael.

226
00:10:09,878 --> 00:10:12,210
Happy birthday
to Sally in Lane 27.

227
00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:16,740
Okay, imagine a company that has
no memory of your past misconduct,

228
00:10:16,818 --> 00:10:18,911
because they have no files.

229
00:10:21,790 --> 00:10:23,781
He's taking a long time.

230
00:10:24,159 --> 00:10:25,626
Is it possible he's bowling?

231
00:10:25,694 --> 00:10:28,288
I mean, you know him
better than I do.

232
00:10:28,863 --> 00:10:31,923
Yes. Yes, it's possible.

233
00:10:35,070 --> 00:10:38,130
- Well, he's always been a lifelong friend...
- Michael!

234
00:10:38,206 --> 00:10:39,298
What's going on?

235
00:10:39,374 --> 00:10:41,569
I'm...
Hey, Ryan.

236
00:10:41,776 --> 00:10:42,936
Excuse me. Yes?

237
00:10:43,011 --> 00:10:44,205
This wasn't on the list.

238
00:10:44,279 --> 00:10:46,042
Yes, it is.
No.

239
00:10:46,114 --> 00:10:47,240
Yes.
It's not.

240
00:10:47,315 --> 00:10:48,509
It is.

241
00:10:48,650 --> 00:10:49,827
When did you add this
to the list?

242
00:10:49,851 --> 00:10:53,343
Pam, everyone deserves
a second, second chance.

243
00:10:55,757 --> 00:10:58,225
Ryan, just out of curiosity,
how much do you get paid here?

244
00:10:58,293 --> 00:10:59,851
$60,000 a year.

245
00:11:00,195 --> 00:11:02,254
You get paid by the year
at the bowling alley?

246
00:11:02,330 --> 00:11:03,456
What do you make, secretary?

247
00:11:03,531 --> 00:11:05,556
Back to work, shoe bitch!

248
00:11:05,934 --> 00:11:07,211
I told you guys,
I'm really busy here, so...

249
00:11:07,235 --> 00:11:11,365
Would you like to come to work for
the Michael Scott Paper Company?

250
00:11:12,173 --> 00:11:13,697
What size shoes are you guys?
Uh, nine.

251
00:11:13,775 --> 00:11:14,867
What are those?
A men's 10?

252
00:11:14,943 --> 00:11:16,035
No.

253
00:11:16,111 --> 00:11:17,455
- Look what he's doing.
- What is he doing?

254
00:11:17,479 --> 00:11:19,538
He's stealing them.
Okay, okay. Oh, my God.

255
00:11:19,614 --> 00:11:22,344
He's already paying for himself.
Sorry!

256
00:11:23,785 --> 00:11:25,309
Where is it?
Right here.

257
00:11:25,386 --> 00:11:29,117
Hey, come on, guys.
These are prime selling hours, you know.

258
00:11:34,996 --> 00:11:36,173
- Miner...
- Oh, there he goes.

259
00:11:36,197 --> 00:11:37,824
Sees his partner.
Yikes.

260
00:11:37,899 --> 00:11:39,264
Halpert, he looks up.
Oh, man!

261
00:11:39,334 --> 00:11:41,598
The famed duo!
He sets him up!

262
00:11:42,170 --> 00:11:43,262
He sets him up!
All right.

263
00:11:43,338 --> 00:11:44,464
Yeah!

264
00:11:46,107 --> 00:11:47,301
Goal!

265
00:11:47,375 --> 00:11:48,535
I can't wait to play with you.

266
00:11:48,543 --> 00:11:50,511
Oh, it's gonna be the worst.

267
00:11:51,646 --> 00:11:53,126
Do you guys wanna hear
about Thailand?

268
00:11:53,181 --> 00:11:54,773
Oh, yeah.
Sure.

269
00:11:57,085 --> 00:11:58,882
It was indescribable.

270
00:11:59,454 --> 00:12:00,580
Sounds awesome.
Neat.

271
00:12:01,256 --> 00:12:03,315
What sort of
investing firm is this?

272
00:12:03,391 --> 00:12:05,723
Vikram, you ask a lot of questions,
and I like that.

273
00:12:05,794 --> 00:12:08,126
Hey, Nana! Hi!

274
00:12:08,396 --> 00:12:09,522
Michael!

275
00:12:09,597 --> 00:12:11,531
People turn to their
families all the time

276
00:12:11,599 --> 00:12:13,089
when they need help
starting out.

277
00:12:13,168 --> 00:12:15,363
And if my nana's
investment club can help

278
00:12:15,436 --> 00:12:16,647
the Michael Scott Paper Company

279
00:12:16,671 --> 00:12:20,767
become a reality, then I'm sure
that's what she would have wanted.

280
00:12:20,942 --> 00:12:22,273
Does want.

281
00:12:22,777 --> 00:12:25,473
Well, I'm sure that you must all
have very, very busy schedules,

282
00:12:25,547 --> 00:12:29,176
so I appreciate you
meeting with us here today.

283
00:12:29,450 --> 00:12:33,944
What this is, is a business that I
have worked toward my entire life.

284
00:12:34,022 --> 00:12:35,080
Hey!

285
00:12:35,623 --> 00:12:37,955
I have assembled
what I believe to be

286
00:12:38,026 --> 00:12:41,985
the most exciting, sought-after
talent in the industry today.

287
00:12:42,063 --> 00:12:45,157
Ladies and gentlemen,
I present to you the dream team.

288
00:12:45,233 --> 00:12:49,329
From our very own Scranton,
Pennsylvania, Pam Beesly.

289
00:12:49,704 --> 00:12:53,003
Pretty Pam is always
reaching for the stars

290
00:12:53,074 --> 00:12:56,532
and someday, she may just
surprise us all and grab one.

291
00:12:57,478 --> 00:12:58,877
Meet Vikram.

292
00:13:00,014 --> 00:13:03,313
From his humble beginnings as a...
Stay standing.

293
00:13:04,052 --> 00:13:07,112
From his humble beginnings
as a prominent surgeon,

294
00:13:07,188 --> 00:13:11,249
he risked it all to become the
most successful telemarketer

295
00:13:11,326 --> 00:13:12,759
in the lipophedrine industry.

296
00:13:12,827 --> 00:13:16,024
And do not call it a comeback.

297
00:13:17,098 --> 00:13:20,693
The youngest vice president in
the history of Dunder Mifflin,

298
00:13:20,768 --> 00:13:24,295
and recent bowling alley employee,
Ryan Howard,

299
00:13:24,372 --> 00:13:27,739
is about to make
a splash in paper.

300
00:13:27,809 --> 00:13:28,867
So let's hear it.

301
00:13:28,943 --> 00:13:32,401
Okay, I have spent
the last 15 years

302
00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:35,244
learning the ins and outs
of the paper industry.

303
00:13:35,316 --> 00:13:38,843
With a lean,
mean fighting crew and low overhead,

304
00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:41,218
I think I can perform
the same business

305
00:13:41,289 --> 00:13:43,553
at a much, much higher
rate of profit.

306
00:13:43,625 --> 00:13:46,924
How do you expect to turn
a profit in this economy?

307
00:13:47,262 --> 00:13:49,787
By wanting it more,
by working hard...

308
00:13:49,864 --> 00:13:51,491
What's your mission statement?

309
00:13:51,566 --> 00:13:56,230
My mission is stated as follows.

310
00:13:56,771 --> 00:13:58,500
I will not be beat.

311
00:13:58,706 --> 00:14:00,537
I will never give up.

312
00:14:00,975 --> 00:14:02,442
I am on a mission.

313
00:14:02,510 --> 00:14:04,637
That is the
Michael Scott guarantee.

314
00:14:04,712 --> 00:14:06,976
Come on, Oscar.
What positions do people play?

315
00:14:07,048 --> 00:14:08,606
Wing.
The leg.

316
00:14:08,883 --> 00:14:11,511
Jim, what do you play?
Left.

317
00:14:11,686 --> 00:14:13,847
Forward or half?
Forward, definitely.

318
00:14:13,922 --> 00:14:15,116
Okay, striker, huh?
Striker!

319
00:14:15,189 --> 00:14:17,434
Let's see what you got in those legs.
All right, let's do it.

320
00:14:17,458 --> 00:14:18,823
All right.

321
00:14:20,261 --> 00:14:22,506
No, no, no. This... No,
this is supposed to be the kickoff.

322
00:14:22,530 --> 00:14:23,792
Kickoff.

323
00:14:24,532 --> 00:14:27,057
My strategy is to touch the
ball as little as possible.

324
00:14:27,135 --> 00:14:29,103
Chalk it up to teamwork.

325
00:14:29,537 --> 00:14:30,868
All right!

326
00:14:31,105 --> 00:14:34,597
And I offer
same-day free delivery.

327
00:14:34,809 --> 00:14:36,640
Michael, I don't know
about this.

328
00:14:36,711 --> 00:14:40,477
Nana, I really think that Papa
would want you to do this.

329
00:14:41,916 --> 00:14:43,747
I'm not so sure.
Well, what is it exactly?

330
00:14:43,818 --> 00:14:47,117
I mean, what... What specifically?
It doesn't have to be paper.

331
00:14:47,188 --> 00:14:50,021
We could sell medicine
and other...

332
00:14:50,091 --> 00:14:52,355
See, this is what concerns me.

333
00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:56,052
We could just give him a chance.
It's not much money.

334
00:14:56,130 --> 00:14:58,030
Well, this might not be
the right time,

335
00:14:58,099 --> 00:14:59,999
but I need more than
I originally asked for.

336
00:15:00,068 --> 00:15:03,401
This isn't a hand-out club,
it's an investment club.

337
00:15:03,938 --> 00:15:04,962
Okay.

338
00:15:05,039 --> 00:15:07,633
I love you, Michael.
I do. Okay.

339
00:15:08,042 --> 00:15:10,704
But no. I mean it. No.

340
00:15:15,951 --> 00:15:18,784
I thought Nana raised
some good questions.

341
00:15:19,921 --> 00:15:21,980
What kind of a name is Nana?

342
00:15:22,057 --> 00:15:23,957
It means "grandmother."

343
00:15:24,092 --> 00:15:26,151
Oh, sweet Jesus.

344
00:15:27,729 --> 00:15:29,458
Look, I'm sorry to do this,

345
00:15:29,531 --> 00:15:31,965
but can you drop me back
at the telemarketing building?

346
00:15:32,033 --> 00:15:34,001
You know, Michael,
if you want to succeed,

347
00:15:34,069 --> 00:15:36,560
you've got to apply the same...

348
00:15:41,843 --> 00:15:43,674
Get him, Jim!
Go, go!

349
00:15:43,745 --> 00:15:45,736
Come on, talk to me, Jim!

350
00:15:46,414 --> 00:15:48,348
- Ah!
- Oh, my God!

351
00:15:49,017 --> 00:15:50,609
Jim, what the...

352
00:15:50,685 --> 00:15:52,414
Phyllis, are you okay?
Are you okay?

353
00:15:52,487 --> 00:15:54,478
No, I swallowed a crown.

354
00:15:54,756 --> 00:15:57,088
- Why'd you duck, Jim?
- Yeah, Jim.

355
00:15:57,158 --> 00:15:59,388
Why would an experienced
soccer player, like yourself,

356
00:15:59,461 --> 00:16:00,826
duck at the very last moment?

357
00:16:00,895 --> 00:16:02,073
Okay, I'm just gonna go
get some ice.

358
00:16:02,097 --> 00:16:04,657
Does that make you
feel better, huh?

359
00:16:05,033 --> 00:16:06,432
I'm... I'm sorry, Phyllis.

360
00:16:06,501 --> 00:16:07,661
Oh, yeah, Jim's sorry.

361
00:16:09,437 --> 00:16:11,632
Do you get TNT?
The station. Do you get TNT?

362
00:16:11,706 --> 00:16:14,834
Yeah, I have cable
and satellite as a backup.

363
00:16:20,548 --> 00:16:23,608
Yeah, I know,
two not-so-great things in a row.

364
00:16:24,719 --> 00:16:28,211
Yeah, well, stuff happens, right?
At least we got Ryan.

365
00:16:28,857 --> 00:16:30,256
The Ry-guy.

366
00:16:30,992 --> 00:16:32,425
We should call him Rye Bread.

367
00:16:32,494 --> 00:16:33,704
We don't have to call him that.

368
00:16:33,728 --> 00:16:35,719
Unless you like it.
We could call him that.

369
00:16:35,797 --> 00:16:37,424
I can't do this.

370
00:16:37,499 --> 00:16:38,898
What's that?

371
00:16:39,501 --> 00:16:42,129
I can't do this.
I had a real job.

372
00:16:43,071 --> 00:16:45,539
I sat 10 feet away
from my fiance.

373
00:16:46,741 --> 00:16:48,606
I had health benefits.

374
00:16:48,843 --> 00:16:50,401
I was just feeling impulsive.

375
00:16:50,478 --> 00:16:53,538
I should have gotten
a tiny tattoo on my ankle.

376
00:16:54,015 --> 00:16:57,644
I just keep getting bored,
and I let things build up and build up,

377
00:16:57,719 --> 00:17:01,712
and then I do something too big,
like this. Who does this?

378
00:17:01,790 --> 00:17:03,951
Well, you know what?
My mom always used to say

379
00:17:04,025 --> 00:17:07,859
that average people are the most
special people in the world.

380
00:17:08,229 --> 00:17:09,340
And that's why
God made so many...

381
00:17:09,364 --> 00:17:10,854
We don't have any money.

382
00:17:10,932 --> 00:17:12,743
We don't have an office.
We don't have anything.

383
00:17:12,767 --> 00:17:14,132
Well, we should make a list.

384
00:17:14,202 --> 00:17:17,365
Lists are good,
lists are good, lists are good.

385
00:17:18,673 --> 00:17:22,040
First on the list,
let's get you out of the car, all right?

386
00:17:22,110 --> 00:17:23,134
Okay.

387
00:17:23,211 --> 00:17:24,803
How come,
out of everyone in the office,

388
00:17:24,879 --> 00:17:27,439
I'm the only one
who went with you?

389
00:17:27,515 --> 00:17:28,846
Is it because I'm that stupid?

390
00:17:28,917 --> 00:17:32,478
I mean, your own grandmother
doesn't even believe in you.

391
00:17:37,292 --> 00:17:39,419
I want you to listen to me.

392
00:17:40,729 --> 00:17:44,995
Because I want to tell you
the situation

393
00:17:45,066 --> 00:17:47,364
that we are both in
right now, okay?

394
00:17:49,037 --> 00:17:52,131
You quit your job,
I quit my job. We both quit.

395
00:17:52,974 --> 00:17:55,374
Those are the facts.
That's what happened.

396
00:17:55,443 --> 00:17:57,604
Now, what are our
choices right now?

397
00:17:57,679 --> 00:17:59,874
Because, you know what,
kiddo? You quit.

398
00:18:01,449 --> 00:18:02,507
Yeah.

399
00:18:02,584 --> 00:18:04,984
So, what are our options?
Well...

400
00:18:05,820 --> 00:18:08,721
We can start this paper company.
We can try.

401
00:18:09,290 --> 00:18:13,249
Or... That's it,
that's our only option, because we quit.

402
00:18:14,462 --> 00:18:19,229
Pam, I do my best work when
people don't believe in me.

403
00:18:19,934 --> 00:18:22,027
I remember in high school,

404
00:18:22,103 --> 00:18:24,503
my math teacher told me
I was going to flunk out.

405
00:18:24,572 --> 00:18:26,199
And know what I did?

406
00:18:26,274 --> 00:18:29,141
The very next day,
I went out and I scored more goals

407
00:18:29,210 --> 00:18:32,202
than anyone in the history
of the hockey team.

408
00:18:32,514 --> 00:18:35,711
See what I mean?
I thrive on this. I thrive on it.

409
00:18:36,184 --> 00:18:37,708
So I'm going to go inside,

410
00:18:37,786 --> 00:18:39,754
I'm going to make some calls,

411
00:18:39,821 --> 00:18:41,221
I'm going to get us
an office space,

412
00:18:41,289 --> 00:18:45,282
and I'm going to show you why you
joined this company, all right?

413
00:18:56,004 --> 00:18:58,564
You've gotta have some extra space.
Billy, work with me here.

414
00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:03,771
There's got to be some sort of secret
office that you have lurking around.

415
00:19:04,379 --> 00:19:08,315
Something awesome and free.
You keep it off the books.

416
00:19:09,751 --> 00:19:11,719
Oh, no. Not there.

417
00:19:12,487 --> 00:19:14,546
That would be humiliating.

418
00:19:14,656 --> 00:19:16,521
I did what I had to do.

419
00:19:16,591 --> 00:19:18,149
I stepped in, I took charge.

420
00:19:18,426 --> 00:19:20,553
That's what being a man is.

421
00:19:20,862 --> 00:19:23,626
And earlier today,
I was freaking out.

422
00:19:23,698 --> 00:19:25,928
Pam stepped up.
She was the man.

423
00:19:27,468 --> 00:19:29,436
Don't think a woman
can be a man?

424
00:19:29,504 --> 00:19:32,530
Well, then that's your
stereotype, not mine.

425
00:19:33,842 --> 00:19:35,070
Okay.

426
00:19:42,050 --> 00:19:43,711
I could work here.

427
00:19:44,219 --> 00:19:45,743
I can see this.

428
00:19:45,854 --> 00:19:48,220
It's right in the middle
of the paper belt.

429
00:19:48,289 --> 00:19:49,313
Are you good?

430
00:19:49,390 --> 00:19:51,620
Yeah, I'm good.
Are you good?

431
00:19:52,227 --> 00:19:53,524
I'm good.

432
00:20:02,170 --> 00:20:06,368
You know what they say.
Keep your friends close.

433
00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:15,074
Michael, you're back.

434
00:20:15,250 --> 00:20:16,945
Yes, I am, Charles.
Mmm-hmm.

435
00:20:17,018 --> 00:20:19,782
Except this time,
you've no legal right to kick me out,

436
00:20:19,854 --> 00:20:21,947
because I have started
my very own paper company

437
00:20:22,023 --> 00:20:24,457
right here in the building.

438
00:20:24,759 --> 00:20:27,853
If I were you, Charles Miner,
I would watch your step,

439
00:20:27,929 --> 00:20:31,831
because the Michael Scott Paper
Company is about to open a big old can

440
00:20:31,900 --> 00:20:34,198
of whoop-ass
on Dunder Mifflin.

441
00:20:37,071 --> 00:20:41,132
Actually, a six-pack. We're going
to open a six-pack of whoop-ass.

442
00:20:42,343 --> 00:20:43,970
He looked scared.

443
00:20:44,575 --> 00:20:54,575
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