1 00:00:01,988 --> 00:00:03,700 It's 4:30 in the morning. 2 00:00:03,825 --> 00:00:05,649 Do you know where your kids are? 3 00:00:05,774 --> 00:00:08,377 If you are Ryan's parents or Pam's parents or my parents, 4 00:00:08,502 --> 00:00:09,503 you do. 5 00:00:09,797 --> 00:00:11,701 They're gonna be in this van. 6 00:00:11,826 --> 00:00:12,827 With me. 7 00:00:12,952 --> 00:00:15,054 Who am I? Nothing to fear. 8 00:00:15,327 --> 00:00:18,229 I am just a 44-year-old guy with a paper route. 9 00:00:21,870 --> 00:00:23,572 Time to make the donuts! 10 00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:29,446 Come on. 11 00:00:31,672 --> 00:00:33,878 No, I promise I won't do it again. 12 00:00:34,003 --> 00:00:35,002 Come on. 13 00:00:38,935 --> 00:00:40,045 De-nied! 14 00:00:43,524 --> 00:00:46,795 We've been making 5:00 a.m. Deliveries for a couple weeks now. 15 00:00:47,916 --> 00:00:51,824 Ever since I've gotten clean, there's something about fresh morning air... 16 00:00:51,949 --> 00:00:54,001 that just really makes me sick. 17 00:01:01,888 --> 00:01:03,590 Time to make the donuts! 18 00:01:06,330 --> 00:01:07,481 Boner patrol! 19 00:01:08,270 --> 00:01:09,572 Arrest that man! 20 00:01:10,327 --> 00:01:12,228 Your donuts make me go nuts! 21 00:01:16,107 --> 00:01:18,259 We got the van at a used car lot. 22 00:01:18,484 --> 00:01:21,237 We think it says "Alleluia Church of Scranton" 23 00:01:21,363 --> 00:01:22,364 in Korean. 24 00:01:23,197 --> 00:01:26,628 It was either this or an old school bus with an owl living in it. 25 00:01:27,617 --> 00:01:30,407 You didn't happen to bring any coffee, did you, Michael? 26 00:01:30,532 --> 00:01:32,686 - Milk and sugar. - Awesome. 27 00:01:32,811 --> 00:01:34,316 You're a life saver. 28 00:01:37,525 --> 00:01:40,517 - Wait, is this just milk and sugar? - That's what I said. 29 00:01:40,931 --> 00:01:42,781 Do you drink this every day? 30 00:01:43,222 --> 00:01:44,424 Every morning. 31 00:01:46,447 --> 00:01:48,153 We're doing okay. 32 00:01:48,467 --> 00:01:50,969 A couple weeks in and we're having fun. 33 00:01:54,062 --> 00:01:55,213 We have 20... 34 00:01:57,404 --> 00:01:58,805 Excuse me. Sorry. 35 00:01:59,274 --> 00:02:00,676 Sorry, no. It's... 36 00:02:01,053 --> 00:02:02,805 It's a paper company now. 37 00:02:06,017 --> 00:02:07,719 It's not for the church. 38 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:12,623 - Feygnasse Team - 39 00:02:12,791 --> 00:02:15,670 Jarick & Collioure So. & Valpi 40 00:02:17,456 --> 00:02:23,536 Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers. 41 00:02:29,128 --> 00:02:30,700 Episode 5x22 "Broke" 42 00:02:31,810 --> 00:02:33,904 Who covers Bans Pet Grooming? 43 00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:36,739 - They're my client. - No, they were your client. 44 00:02:36,864 --> 00:02:40,011 They just called, they're switching over to Michael Scott Paper Company. 45 00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:42,654 Shame, Jim. I expected more. 46 00:02:42,779 --> 00:02:44,562 In the last month, we have lost 47 00:02:44,687 --> 00:02:46,899 ten major clients to Michael Scott. 48 00:02:47,067 --> 00:02:49,258 What can we do? They keep undercutting us on price. 49 00:02:49,384 --> 00:02:51,279 I don't want excuses. I want improvements. 50 00:02:51,405 --> 00:02:52,956 This is unacceptable. 51 00:02:53,497 --> 00:02:54,498 Hey, boss. 52 00:02:54,829 --> 00:02:58,182 I'd just like to point out that I have be here less time 53 00:02:58,594 --> 00:03:00,885 - than these guys. - Why are you telling me this? 54 00:03:03,053 --> 00:03:05,541 I just think the bar should be lower for a newbie. 55 00:03:05,666 --> 00:03:07,900 Is this something you really want to have said? 56 00:03:10,847 --> 00:03:12,899 I don't want to have said that. 57 00:03:14,706 --> 00:03:16,584 But I think it's important that you know it. 58 00:03:17,684 --> 00:03:20,550 I don't know what to do to inspire these people. 59 00:03:20,675 --> 00:03:23,036 - OK, maybe it's my fault... - It's not your fault. 60 00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:25,358 Some people just don't want to be inspired. 61 00:03:25,483 --> 00:03:26,684 I wrote a memo 62 00:03:27,436 --> 00:03:30,820 to all departments asking them to find ways to save money. 63 00:03:31,394 --> 00:03:32,395 But... 64 00:03:33,437 --> 00:03:35,165 I got your memo. Thank you. 65 00:03:35,290 --> 00:03:38,408 I'm putting my foot down when it comes to expense reports. 66 00:03:38,533 --> 00:03:40,005 Waste not, want not. 67 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:43,041 Well said, Angela. 68 00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:49,463 Been there, done that. 69 00:03:54,092 --> 00:03:56,246 You know what we need? We need some couches. 70 00:03:57,208 --> 00:03:59,293 We should really consider getting a delivery guy. 71 00:04:00,046 --> 00:04:02,759 You know what you would love? It's if we built a loft. 72 00:04:03,727 --> 00:04:05,329 Why would I love that? 73 00:04:06,124 --> 00:04:08,722 - Can we afford a delivery guy? - Like in a dorm room. 74 00:04:08,847 --> 00:04:11,155 You put your desk underneath, you have your loft up top. 75 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:12,571 You can sleep up top. 76 00:04:12,831 --> 00:04:15,577 - I know what a loft is. - Most dorm rooms don't even have that. 77 00:04:15,994 --> 00:04:19,167 - Most do in the magazines. - Let's see what a delivery guy costs. 78 00:04:21,833 --> 00:04:23,585 We should look into that. 79 00:04:24,914 --> 00:04:26,766 Or we just go for the loft. 80 00:04:30,653 --> 00:04:33,780 Would you let Charles know that David is here, please? 81 00:04:37,232 --> 00:04:39,123 We've been expecting you, David Wallace. 82 00:04:39,630 --> 00:04:41,957 - Charles and I were waiting for you. - There he is. 83 00:04:42,082 --> 00:04:44,008 There he is. How was the trip up? 84 00:04:44,176 --> 00:04:47,306 A lot better than a month at the Scranton Radisson, I'm sure. 85 00:04:47,432 --> 00:04:49,224 It hasn't been that bad. 86 00:04:49,350 --> 00:04:51,234 These people are the salt of the earth. 87 00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:54,363 You couldn't ask for a better way to learn a company. 88 00:04:55,422 --> 00:04:57,824 I feel like I should be thanking you. 89 00:05:05,845 --> 00:05:08,043 The conference room is ready if we want to get started. 90 00:05:08,168 --> 00:05:10,033 I just want to address everyone first. 91 00:05:10,158 --> 00:05:12,661 Take your time. Stanley, pay attention. 92 00:05:12,859 --> 00:05:13,776 Hi, everyone. 93 00:05:16,702 --> 00:05:17,993 Look. It's no secret... 94 00:05:20,592 --> 00:05:21,843 It is no secret 95 00:05:22,422 --> 00:05:25,410 that Michael Scott has siphoned off a largchunk of our core business. 96 00:05:25,535 --> 00:05:28,701 I'm here... I just want to reassure everyone that we think 97 00:05:28,826 --> 00:05:30,893 this is just a temporary setback. 98 00:05:31,061 --> 00:05:33,363 Maybe, and I don't know, 99 00:05:33,488 --> 00:05:36,989 if you had just returned Michael's call, none of us would've lost clients. 100 00:05:37,328 --> 00:05:40,037 I've been wondering that myself lately. Wee just gonna get started. 101 00:05:40,205 --> 00:05:42,296 We're gonna figure this out. Rest assured. 102 00:05:42,422 --> 00:05:44,921 - Jim, can you come in with us please? - Jim. Hold on. 103 00:05:45,089 --> 00:05:47,259 You know, David, Dwight's been my guy. 104 00:05:49,703 --> 00:05:51,752 I find that extraordinarily surprising. 105 00:05:51,877 --> 00:05:53,981 He shows promise. 106 00:05:54,149 --> 00:05:56,487 And Jim, I don't... He's been disappointment. 107 00:05:56,655 --> 00:05:58,286 - We'll bring 'em both in. - Great. 108 00:05:58,412 --> 00:06:00,995 Dwight, come on in. Also Jim. 109 00:06:02,551 --> 00:06:04,085 Come along, afterthought. 110 00:06:06,842 --> 00:06:08,844 How much can we afford to pay a delivery guy? 111 00:06:09,012 --> 00:06:12,214 - If these numbers are correct... - They are correct, sir. 112 00:06:12,340 --> 00:06:14,271 Then you can't afford to pay him anything. 113 00:06:16,022 --> 00:06:18,017 A lame attempt at humor. 114 00:06:18,142 --> 00:06:19,533 Swing and a miss. 115 00:06:19,701 --> 00:06:21,285 Your prices are too low. 116 00:06:21,454 --> 00:06:22,705 Lowest in town. 117 00:06:23,380 --> 00:06:26,170 Why do you think Staples and Dunder Mifflin can't match? 118 00:06:26,626 --> 00:06:27,996 Corporate greed? 119 00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:30,721 Our pricing model is fine. I reviewed the numbers myself. 120 00:06:30,846 --> 00:06:33,226 Over time with enough volume, we become profitable. 121 00:06:33,395 --> 00:06:35,626 With a fixed cost pricing model, that's correct. 122 00:06:35,751 --> 00:06:37,861 But you need to use a variable cost pricing model. 123 00:06:38,029 --> 00:06:39,030 OK, sure. 124 00:06:39,423 --> 00:06:40,837 Right. So... 125 00:06:41,261 --> 00:06:43,783 Why don't you explain what that is... So they can under... 126 00:06:43,908 --> 00:06:46,126 - Explain what that is. - Explain what you think that is. 127 00:06:46,251 --> 00:06:48,203 - Just explain. - As you sell more paper 128 00:06:48,329 --> 00:06:50,459 and your company grows, so will your costs. 129 00:06:50,584 --> 00:06:52,436 For example, delivery man, 130 00:06:52,975 --> 00:06:54,076 health care, 131 00:06:54,476 --> 00:06:55,759 business expansion. 132 00:06:55,884 --> 00:06:57,107 Whatever, yeah. So... 133 00:06:57,275 --> 00:07:00,197 At these prices, the more paper you sell the less money you'll make. 134 00:07:00,366 --> 00:07:03,161 Our prices are the only thing keeping us in business. 135 00:07:03,330 --> 00:07:05,620 They're actually putting you out of business. 136 00:07:06,911 --> 00:07:08,262 Hold on, hold on. 137 00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:11,762 Ty, I would like you to crunch those numbers again. 138 00:07:12,927 --> 00:07:16,145 - It's a program. There's no such... - Just crunch 'em, please. 139 00:07:18,389 --> 00:07:19,318 Crunch. 140 00:07:20,778 --> 00:07:21,879 Did it help? 141 00:07:46,072 --> 00:07:47,824 Hi, Jerry. Michael Scott. 142 00:07:49,192 --> 00:07:51,194 This is slightly embarrassing. 143 00:07:53,779 --> 00:07:55,431 I'm going to have to... 144 00:07:55,928 --> 00:07:57,941 ask you to pay me a little bit more money 145 00:07:58,066 --> 00:08:00,066 for that delivery we dropped off yesterday. 146 00:08:02,594 --> 00:08:04,164 We did. We got the check. 147 00:08:04,289 --> 00:08:07,133 But we're just going to need a much, much bigger check. 148 00:08:07,258 --> 00:08:09,961 When a child gets behind the wheel of a car 149 00:08:10,388 --> 00:08:11,939 and runs into a tree, 150 00:08:12,763 --> 00:08:14,452 you don't blame the child. 151 00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:16,379 He didn't know any better. 152 00:08:16,716 --> 00:08:19,202 You blame the 30-year-old woman 153 00:08:19,963 --> 00:08:21,915 who got in the passenger seat 154 00:08:22,209 --> 00:08:24,860 and said, "Drive, kid. I trust you". 155 00:08:26,078 --> 00:08:27,543 Now would corporate 156 00:08:27,668 --> 00:08:30,628 approve a temporary price reduction for returning customers? 157 00:08:30,796 --> 00:08:33,187 - God, no. - Stupid. Makes us look weak. 158 00:08:33,312 --> 00:08:34,753 I agree. It just... 159 00:08:34,878 --> 00:08:37,028 I say we fill Michael's office with bees. 160 00:08:37,153 --> 00:08:39,055 My apiarist owes me a favor. 161 00:08:41,409 --> 00:08:43,946 Really? Does he do good work or... 162 00:08:45,018 --> 00:08:47,467 No, Jim. I use a bad apiarist. 163 00:08:49,948 --> 00:08:52,249 Fellas, why don't we take a five-minute break? 164 00:08:52,375 --> 00:08:54,927 And then we will come back, start fresh, 165 00:08:55,122 --> 00:08:56,095 sort this out. 166 00:08:56,263 --> 00:08:57,815 Five minutes exactly. 167 00:08:58,605 --> 00:09:00,521 - Dwight, can I talk to you? - Sure thing. 168 00:09:03,790 --> 00:09:05,155 I saw you called. 169 00:09:05,324 --> 00:09:06,992 You're just out of business? 170 00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:08,921 We have maybe a month. 171 00:09:09,836 --> 00:09:12,231 - I don't know what I'm gonna do. - Don't worry about it. 172 00:09:12,357 --> 00:09:15,300 - We'll figure it out. We'll be okay. - That's what Michael said. 173 00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:17,832 Only this time we will be okay. 174 00:09:17,957 --> 00:09:19,652 Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. 175 00:09:19,777 --> 00:09:21,355 - My new "Dwight" ring. - I like it. 176 00:09:21,523 --> 00:09:22,624 Good, right? 177 00:09:23,262 --> 00:09:25,887 Idiot, we're starting back up. This is Dwight, by the way. 178 00:09:28,828 --> 00:09:29,829 Don't worry. 179 00:09:36,713 --> 00:09:39,516 Did I ever tell you about the day that Steve Martin died? 180 00:09:39,836 --> 00:09:41,645 - Steve Martin's not dead. - I know. 181 00:09:42,278 --> 00:09:43,440 But I always thought 182 00:09:43,565 --> 00:09:46,470 that the day that he died would be the worst day of my life. 183 00:09:46,595 --> 00:09:48,447 And I was wrong. It's this. 184 00:09:58,458 --> 00:10:00,251 You want to hear something sad? 185 00:10:00,377 --> 00:10:01,778 I would love that. 186 00:10:02,103 --> 00:10:06,057 So Jim and I are getting married and the wedding's really expensive, 187 00:10:06,353 --> 00:10:09,697 so I tried to get a job on the weekends to earn extra money. 188 00:10:10,689 --> 00:10:14,461 I applied to Old Navy, Target and Wal-Mart. 189 00:10:15,566 --> 00:10:17,417 None of 'em called me back. 190 00:10:18,297 --> 00:10:19,971 Not even for an interview. 191 00:10:24,033 --> 00:10:25,357 I never went to Thailand. 192 00:10:27,345 --> 00:10:28,154 Really? 193 00:10:28,323 --> 00:10:30,124 I went to Fort Lauderdale. 194 00:10:31,551 --> 00:10:32,652 Was it nice? 195 00:10:33,857 --> 00:10:35,409 Yeah, it was amazing. 196 00:10:36,416 --> 00:10:37,464 There was a great 197 00:10:37,633 --> 00:10:39,284 pad thai place, though. 198 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:40,971 I love pad thai. 199 00:10:42,783 --> 00:10:44,061 You never had pad thai. 200 00:10:47,354 --> 00:10:49,332 There's a lot I haven't done. 201 00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:53,005 This is the projection of over three months. 202 00:10:53,130 --> 00:10:55,709 - We still have the inventory sitting. - That's assuming he's gonna... 203 00:10:55,877 --> 00:10:59,831 Let me float something out there. Can I just say something? 204 00:10:59,956 --> 00:11:03,938 There is a hive of bees outside the front door. 205 00:11:04,468 --> 00:11:06,013 We kidnap the queen, 206 00:11:06,138 --> 00:11:08,119 extract her alarm pheromones, 207 00:11:08,244 --> 00:11:10,555 place them on a flushable wipe, 208 00:11:11,052 --> 00:11:12,660 put that in his bathroom. 209 00:11:15,323 --> 00:11:18,125 I can't believe I'm about to say this, but... 210 00:11:18,985 --> 00:11:20,587 the cheapest option... 211 00:11:21,259 --> 00:11:23,390 is to make Michael an offer. 212 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,732 Yes, I was gonna say the same thing. We should buy him out. 213 00:11:28,167 --> 00:11:29,777 But you didn't. 214 00:11:29,945 --> 00:11:31,298 Oh, man! 215 00:11:31,593 --> 00:11:33,405 If only Michael had children. 216 00:11:33,530 --> 00:11:36,037 That's how you really apply the pressure. 217 00:11:36,162 --> 00:11:38,712 - What is wrong with you? - Jim, you're pretty close with him. 218 00:11:38,881 --> 00:11:41,026 You think they'd be up for hearing an offer? 219 00:11:41,151 --> 00:11:44,254 I don't know. They've taken a good deal of clients. 220 00:11:46,289 --> 00:11:49,776 I guess I could go down there and try to nudge them in the right direction. 221 00:11:49,944 --> 00:11:52,476 You know what? Why don't I do it? 222 00:11:52,601 --> 00:11:54,752 Michael adores me. I'm the man for this job. 223 00:11:54,877 --> 00:11:57,082 - Charles, you got my back? - Jim, I think you should go. 224 00:11:57,379 --> 00:12:00,213 OK, so I'll be back in... Back in a bit. 225 00:12:05,310 --> 00:12:07,185 - Can I talk to you? - We're not hiring. 226 00:12:07,354 --> 00:12:09,941 - Actually here for something else. - I can't make you laugh right now. 227 00:12:10,109 --> 00:12:13,117 You know I love a good guessing game, but why don't I tell what I'm here for? 228 00:12:13,242 --> 00:12:16,245 Turns out you've made a pretty big dent in the Dunder Mifflin sales. 229 00:12:16,414 --> 00:12:19,257 - Nice. - David Wallace has asked me to come 230 00:12:19,383 --> 00:12:23,008 and see if you would be interested in Dunder Mifflin buying you out. 231 00:12:23,176 --> 00:12:24,177 Seriously? 232 00:12:25,432 --> 00:12:27,398 - Are you being serious? - He's bluffing. 233 00:12:27,769 --> 00:12:30,314 What you don't understand is that this company's worthl... 234 00:12:31,428 --> 00:12:32,729 We don't have... 235 00:12:33,254 --> 00:12:35,477 I'm here to learn as little information as possible. 236 00:12:35,602 --> 00:12:36,973 All I really need to hear 237 00:12:37,098 --> 00:12:39,984 is if your incredibly successful company 238 00:12:40,109 --> 00:12:42,161 would be receptive to a buyout. 239 00:12:48,698 --> 00:12:49,923 - Maybe. - Three yes. 240 00:12:50,048 --> 00:12:52,988 I will see you titans of industry upstairs. 241 00:12:54,177 --> 00:12:56,451 We're not only tight-ends, we are also quarterbacks. 242 00:12:56,619 --> 00:12:58,497 - Missed the last part. - That's a pun. 243 00:12:58,707 --> 00:12:59,708 Got it. 244 00:13:06,597 --> 00:13:09,350 OK, so you're not going to reveal in any way 245 00:13:09,806 --> 00:13:11,523 - that we're broke. - Of course not. 246 00:13:11,648 --> 00:13:13,483 That we're having any problems at all. 247 00:13:13,608 --> 00:13:14,751 Just to reiterate, 248 00:13:14,876 --> 00:13:17,078 none of us is going to say anything 249 00:13:17,203 --> 00:13:18,954 that might indicate we are going broke. 250 00:13:19,744 --> 00:13:23,502 There is no way in hell that I'm going to say that we're broke. 251 00:13:27,195 --> 00:13:29,499 I'm really worried I'm gonna say it. 252 00:13:31,573 --> 00:13:32,581 You're fine. 253 00:13:32,706 --> 00:13:34,887 We have to come from a position of strength. 254 00:13:35,012 --> 00:13:36,698 - Put it out of your mind. - It is. 255 00:13:36,866 --> 00:13:37,741 I'm good. 256 00:13:43,817 --> 00:13:46,512 Michael Scott Paper Company to see Mr. David Wallace. 257 00:13:46,637 --> 00:13:48,389 I believe we're expected. 258 00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:56,712 How the turntables... 259 00:14:03,953 --> 00:14:07,370 In order to expedite these negotiations, 260 00:14:07,734 --> 00:14:10,181 we are prepared to make you a very generous offer. 261 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,902 And we are prepared to reject that offer. 262 00:14:13,324 --> 00:14:16,477 - You haven't even heard... - Never accept their first offer. 263 00:14:16,602 --> 00:14:17,988 What is your second offer? 264 00:14:18,419 --> 00:14:19,492 $12,000. 265 00:14:20,778 --> 00:14:23,579 Are you kidding me? That is insultingly low. 266 00:14:23,704 --> 00:14:25,963 I don't even want to hear what your first offer was. 267 00:14:26,805 --> 00:14:28,228 What do you hear? 268 00:14:31,433 --> 00:14:34,350 Here's the situation. Your company is four weeks old. 269 00:14:34,475 --> 00:14:36,643 I know this business. I know what suppliers are charging. 270 00:14:36,768 --> 00:14:39,075 I know you can't be making very much money. 271 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:40,909 I don't know how your prices are so low 272 00:14:41,168 --> 00:14:43,521 but I know it can't keep up that way. 273 00:14:43,791 --> 00:14:45,430 I'm sure you're scared. 274 00:14:45,555 --> 00:14:46,963 Probably in debt. 275 00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:49,350 This is the best offer you're gonna get. 276 00:14:49,475 --> 00:14:52,433 I'll see your situation and I'll raise you a situation. 277 00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:55,411 Your company is losing clients left and right. 278 00:14:55,725 --> 00:14:57,693 You have a stockholder meeting coming up 279 00:14:58,002 --> 00:15:01,906 and you're going to have to explain why your most profitable branch 280 00:15:02,598 --> 00:15:03,699 is bleeding. 281 00:15:04,529 --> 00:15:07,253 So they may be looking for a little change in the CFO. 282 00:15:07,422 --> 00:15:11,342 I don't need to wait out Dunder Mifflin. I think I just have to wait out you. 283 00:15:14,542 --> 00:15:16,461 I don't know that I can get this. 284 00:15:16,586 --> 00:15:19,188 I do have to go to the board for approval. 285 00:15:21,167 --> 00:15:22,293 How's about 286 00:15:22,419 --> 00:15:23,694 $60,000? 287 00:15:28,932 --> 00:15:29,933 60 though. 288 00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:36,303 - We'll have to talk... - What? 289 00:15:36,429 --> 00:15:38,900 - We're gonna have to talk about this. - Just amongst ourselves. 290 00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:41,231 Please take the room. 291 00:15:41,559 --> 00:15:42,910 Be right outside. 292 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:44,620 Take your time. 293 00:15:50,899 --> 00:15:53,287 - $60,000? - We are so... 294 00:15:53,588 --> 00:15:54,431 rich. 295 00:15:55,478 --> 00:15:57,584 Jerry, the one who got away. 296 00:15:59,409 --> 00:16:02,653 May I ask why you're leaving the Michael Scott Paper Company? 297 00:16:05,268 --> 00:16:06,210 Really? 298 00:16:08,574 --> 00:16:09,675 Please hold. 299 00:16:17,989 --> 00:16:19,576 May I have your attention? 300 00:16:19,701 --> 00:16:21,736 The Michael Scott Paper Company is broke. 301 00:16:21,904 --> 00:16:23,573 What? How'd you hear that? 302 00:16:23,915 --> 00:16:26,871 They've been calling their clients and begging them to pay more money. 303 00:16:27,039 --> 00:16:28,575 They're desperate. 304 00:16:28,700 --> 00:16:32,124 Which can only mean one thing. They're total failures. 305 00:16:32,249 --> 00:16:34,698 Great work. I mean, great detective work. 306 00:16:34,823 --> 00:16:36,992 'Cause this must be the first case you've ever cracked. 307 00:16:37,117 --> 00:16:38,561 You don't crack a case. 308 00:16:38,729 --> 00:16:41,534 At has a pejorative connotation. Like calling a policeman a cop. 309 00:16:41,659 --> 00:16:44,122 You solve a case, and yes, I've solved plenty. 310 00:16:44,247 --> 00:16:46,242 So how long can they stay viable? 311 00:16:46,411 --> 00:16:48,086 What are your top five cases? 312 00:16:48,211 --> 00:16:51,071 - I'm gonna answer Charles. - Because you've solved zero cases. 313 00:16:51,196 --> 00:16:53,434 One. Case of the beet bandit. 314 00:16:53,559 --> 00:16:56,873 Missing beets from all over the farm. No footprints. Inside job. 315 00:16:56,998 --> 00:16:58,199 Mose in socks. 316 00:16:58,978 --> 00:17:00,104 Case closed. 317 00:17:00,417 --> 00:17:03,151 Do not go anywhere near the conference room. 318 00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:04,122 Done. 319 00:17:04,247 --> 00:17:06,659 Because you have embarrassed me for the last time today. 320 00:17:07,528 --> 00:17:09,080 - Got it? - I'm not following you. 321 00:17:09,248 --> 00:17:10,500 You two are morons. 322 00:17:10,668 --> 00:17:11,666 Got it. 323 00:17:12,677 --> 00:17:13,678 Get out. 324 00:17:17,097 --> 00:17:20,353 So you've thought it over, yes, and you accept our offer. 325 00:17:20,521 --> 00:17:23,324 We can finally put this whole thing behind us? 326 00:17:29,647 --> 00:17:31,709 Can you give us another minute please? 327 00:17:47,152 --> 00:17:50,413 How could you do this to me? You just cost me $60,000. 328 00:17:50,581 --> 00:17:53,493 - Why would you get the whole thing? - It's a lot of money. 329 00:17:53,618 --> 00:17:55,645 But we need money coming in every week. 330 00:17:55,770 --> 00:17:56,921 We need jobs. 331 00:17:57,488 --> 00:18:00,349 Wouldn't you rather have a fishing pole than a fish? 332 00:18:01,074 --> 00:18:03,850 I would rather have $60,000, honestly. 333 00:18:04,234 --> 00:18:05,697 No, Michael's right. 334 00:18:05,822 --> 00:18:07,073 Jobs are safer. 335 00:18:08,803 --> 00:18:09,804 Agreed? 336 00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:12,740 Agreed. But that's all, OK? 337 00:18:13,693 --> 00:18:16,437 - Discuss these things... - Shut up. 338 00:18:17,385 --> 00:18:18,834 I want my old job back. 339 00:18:18,959 --> 00:18:22,101 I want my old parking space back. I want a Sebring. 340 00:18:22,269 --> 00:18:24,094 They don't make them anymore. 341 00:18:24,219 --> 00:18:25,900 And I want Charles gone. 342 00:18:26,828 --> 00:18:28,810 I am not firing Charles. He's very valuable. 343 00:18:28,935 --> 00:18:31,244 - That's very kind of you to say. - I need him gone. 344 00:18:32,624 --> 00:18:36,045 - Then I want Pam back. - You already have a new receptionist. 345 00:18:36,213 --> 00:18:37,214 Sales. 346 00:18:39,053 --> 00:18:41,656 - Pam's not a salesperson. - Yes, she is. 347 00:18:42,042 --> 00:18:43,770 At the Michael Scott Paper Company 348 00:18:43,895 --> 00:18:45,356 - in its heyday. - That's right. 349 00:18:47,507 --> 00:18:49,559 - Please continue. - And Ryan. 350 00:18:49,783 --> 00:18:53,236 Ryan cost Dunder Mifflin hundreds of thousands of dollars. 351 00:18:53,362 --> 00:18:57,134 You know, David? I don't care if Ryan murdered his entire family. 352 00:18:57,259 --> 00:19:00,261 - He is like a son to me. - Do you realize what you're asking for? 353 00:19:00,387 --> 00:19:03,058 You're talking about salary plus health benefits. 354 00:19:03,226 --> 00:19:04,853 And dental this time. 355 00:19:05,021 --> 00:19:07,265 Insurance, taxes, social security for three people. 356 00:19:07,391 --> 00:19:10,657 This is a lot more than 60 grand. It's a multi-million dollar buyout. 357 00:19:10,825 --> 00:19:12,201 These are our demands. 358 00:19:12,370 --> 00:19:14,331 Your company cannot be worth that much. 359 00:19:14,499 --> 00:19:16,451 Our company is worth nothing. 360 00:19:17,261 --> 00:19:19,086 That's the difference between you and I. 361 00:19:19,211 --> 00:19:21,764 Business isn't about money to me, David. 362 00:19:22,239 --> 00:19:26,148 If tomorrow my company goes under, I will just start another paper company. 363 00:19:26,273 --> 00:19:28,839 And then another and another and another. 364 00:19:28,964 --> 00:19:30,655 I have no shortage of company names. 365 00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:32,642 That's one of 'em! 366 00:19:33,756 --> 00:19:35,358 These are our demands. 367 00:19:35,666 --> 00:19:37,217 This is what we want. 368 00:19:38,246 --> 00:19:40,148 Our balls are in your court. 369 00:19:50,257 --> 00:19:51,258 Deal. 370 00:19:54,679 --> 00:19:56,631 Can we have the room, please? 371 00:20:17,587 --> 00:20:19,038 Can you believe it? 372 00:20:20,448 --> 00:20:21,449 Great job! 373 00:20:22,566 --> 00:20:24,763 Right here! That's what I'm talking about! 374 00:20:27,404 --> 00:20:30,441 There are certain defining moments in a person's life. 375 00:20:31,101 --> 00:20:32,350 The day he is born. 376 00:20:32,475 --> 00:20:35,394 The day he grows hair. The day he starts a business. 377 00:20:35,519 --> 00:20:39,294 And the day he sells that business back to Dunder Mifflin. 378 00:20:40,634 --> 00:20:42,757 What have I learned from all of this? 379 00:20:42,925 --> 00:20:45,235 It is far too early to tell. 380 00:20:45,361 --> 00:20:49,228 I am flying high and I don't even want to think about it. 381 00:20:49,529 --> 00:20:50,998 I just want to enjoy it. 382 00:20:52,493 --> 00:20:53,487 You're done. 383 00:20:53,877 --> 00:21:03,887 Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.