1
00:00:02,321 --> 00:00:07,486
The fundamentals of business.
The fundamentals of business.

2
00:00:07,559 --> 00:00:11,120
"Mental" is a part of the
word. I have underlined it.

3
00:00:11,196 --> 00:00:14,029
Because you're mental if
you don't have a good time.

4
00:00:14,099 --> 00:00:15,464
You have to enjoy it.

5
00:00:15,534 --> 00:00:17,627
"Fun" is in it.

6
00:00:19,238 --> 00:00:20,227
"Fun"-damental.

7
00:00:20,305 --> 00:00:21,670
Oh, right.

8
00:00:21,740 --> 00:00:23,640
Get out.
I know, I know.

9
00:00:23,709 --> 00:00:26,974
Yes, so, it all starts
with a handshake.

10
00:00:27,046 --> 00:00:31,949
But you can't just go right to
the selling. You need small talk.

11
00:00:32,017 --> 00:00:34,747
What topics can you
use for small talk?

12
00:00:34,820 --> 00:00:37,448
Golf, stock market,
Dave Matthews.

13
00:00:37,523 --> 00:00:38,956
Yes, what else?

14
00:00:39,024 --> 00:00:41,424
Small things. Peas,
ball bearings, dimes.

15
00:00:41,493 --> 00:00:42,517
No.

16
00:00:42,594 --> 00:00:44,391
The weekend.
Yeah! That's good.

17
00:00:44,463 --> 00:00:48,263
Come on up. Meredith, come up
here. Let's do a little something.

18
00:00:48,333 --> 00:00:51,769
So, Meredith and I have
just started conversing,

19
00:00:51,837 --> 00:00:54,169
and I will say,
"So, Meredith,

20
00:00:54,239 --> 00:00:56,104
"how was your weekend?
What did you do?"

21
00:00:57,109 --> 00:01:00,135
Well, I caught my son taking a dump
on the upper part of the toilet.

22
00:01:00,212 --> 00:01:01,736
All right. He calls
it an "upper-decker."

23
00:01:01,814 --> 00:01:04,009
Okay, okay.
God.

24
00:01:04,083 --> 00:01:07,382
What you people don't know about
business, I could fill a book with.

25
00:01:07,453 --> 00:01:09,011
Then do it.
What?

26
00:01:09,088 --> 00:01:10,555
Write a book.

27
00:01:12,758 --> 00:01:15,750
The Fundamentals of Business
by Michael Scott.

28
00:01:16,161 --> 00:01:18,026
Over one billion sold.

29
00:01:19,164 --> 00:01:22,463
More than the Bible. I'm
not surprised. Chapter One.

30
00:01:26,271 --> 00:01:27,932
The businessman...

31
00:01:29,620 --> 00:01:35,694
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org

32
00:01:52,131 --> 00:01:53,621
Mr. Grotti,
this is Michael Scott.

33
00:01:53,699 --> 00:01:54,927
He's the person
you should talk to.

34
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:57,025
Hi. I'm sorry,
just a sec.

35
00:01:58,170 --> 00:01:59,831
Erin, you're
supposed to be the gatekeeper.

36
00:01:59,905 --> 00:02:02,567
Do you have any idea
how valuable my time is?

37
00:02:02,641 --> 00:02:05,439
In your schedule, it just says
9:00 till noon is creative space.

38
00:02:05,511 --> 00:02:06,500
I thought this
could be part of that.

39
00:02:06,578 --> 00:02:09,069
Do you know how creative space works?

40
00:02:09,148 --> 00:02:11,013
Okay, fine. Just cancel my afternoon.

41
00:02:11,083 --> 00:02:13,347
You don't have anything in the
afternoon. It just says "free play."

42
00:02:13,418 --> 00:02:15,249
Push free play till tomorrow morning.

43
00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:19,757
Hi. Sorry, crazy day. You're
seeing how the sausage gets made.

44
00:02:19,825 --> 00:02:23,989
Come in the conference room and I
will show you a finished sausage.

45
00:02:26,698 --> 00:02:29,223
As a manager of business,
you've got a lot of pride.

46
00:02:29,301 --> 00:02:30,325
Hmm.

47
00:02:30,402 --> 00:02:32,996
But you also got a
lot of responsibility.

48
00:02:33,071 --> 00:02:34,095
Yep.

49
00:02:34,173 --> 00:02:36,903
None greater, perhaps,
than the need to be sure

50
00:02:36,975 --> 00:02:42,379
that your small or large business is
secure in the event of a covered loss.

51
00:02:42,447 --> 00:02:43,607
Okay.

52
00:02:45,684 --> 00:02:49,176
There's nothing more
insulting to a great salesman

53
00:02:49,254 --> 00:02:51,984
than having to listen
to a bad salesman.

54
00:02:53,258 --> 00:02:55,089
It's like a great
basketball player

55
00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:58,095
having to listen to a
bad basketball player.

56
00:03:03,602 --> 00:03:05,194
Jim's gone
on his honeymoon.

57
00:03:05,537 --> 00:03:09,234
So, I started borrowing
his office to fart in.

58
00:03:09,308 --> 00:03:12,835
Then one day, I came
in and I just stayed.

59
00:03:12,911 --> 00:03:16,745
'Cause this place is awesome.
It feels like home now.

60
00:03:16,815 --> 00:03:20,478
Even better than my home.
My home sucks.

61
00:03:21,887 --> 00:03:23,286
What do you think?

62
00:03:23,355 --> 00:03:24,413
I think you're right.

63
00:03:24,489 --> 00:03:26,548
Definitely looks
suspicious.

64
00:03:26,625 --> 00:03:29,924
And his southern Italian
heritage raises some flags.

65
00:03:31,029 --> 00:03:34,521
God forbid you should have
a fire in the warehouse.

66
00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:38,696
Oh! Yep. Yeah. Definitely.
All that paper burning up.

67
00:03:38,770 --> 00:03:42,399
Yeah, and the truck goes off the
side of the road, there's injury.

68
00:03:42,474 --> 00:03:44,669
Mmm-hmm, I hear you. The truck.

69
00:03:44,743 --> 00:03:46,506
You will be hearing
from me, Mr. Scott.

70
00:03:46,578 --> 00:03:47,602
Okay, well...

71
00:03:47,679 --> 00:03:49,772
I can be very,
very persistent.

72
00:03:49,848 --> 00:03:50,837
Do your worst.

73
00:03:55,187 --> 00:03:56,711
All right.

74
00:03:58,290 --> 00:04:00,224
Would you look
at that, people?

75
00:04:00,292 --> 00:04:03,056
What an unpredictable
world we live in, huh?

76
00:04:04,630 --> 00:04:05,995
Thank you.

77
00:04:07,633 --> 00:04:09,032
What happened in there? Nothing,

78
00:04:09,101 --> 00:04:12,161
other than once again, I am just
thankful that I am a paper salesman.

79
00:04:12,237 --> 00:04:13,261
Did he threaten you?

80
00:04:13,338 --> 00:04:15,363
No, Dwight. Not everything is a threat.

81
00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:16,429
Mobsters are.

82
00:04:16,508 --> 00:04:18,806
There is no such
thing as monsters.

83
00:04:18,877 --> 00:04:20,845
- He drives an SUV.
- I knew it.

84
00:04:20,912 --> 00:04:23,278
More trunk space, or
should I say corpse space.

85
00:04:23,348 --> 00:04:26,112
Okay, guys, I drive an SUV.
Does that mean I'm in the mob?

86
00:04:26,184 --> 00:04:29,676
No, not that by itself,
but look at all the facts.

87
00:04:29,755 --> 00:04:31,916
He seems like a mobster.

88
00:04:31,990 --> 00:04:34,049
Wait, when did we start
talking about the mob?

89
00:04:34,126 --> 00:04:35,593
The guy was trying
to sell me insurance.

90
00:04:35,661 --> 00:04:37,219
All mobsters
have a front.

91
00:04:37,296 --> 00:04:38,991
Sometimes it's
selling insurance,

92
00:04:39,064 --> 00:04:41,965
sometimes it's waste
management or sanitation.

93
00:04:42,034 --> 00:04:44,662
For the record, not all
Italian-Americans are in the Mafia.

94
00:04:44,736 --> 00:04:47,603
I think he just seemed like he
was trying to sell me insurance.

95
00:04:47,673 --> 00:04:50,437
Yeah. "Buy my insurance or
I burn your warehouse down."

96
00:04:50,509 --> 00:04:51,533
Exactly.

97
00:04:51,610 --> 00:04:54,101
He did talk about
a fire in the warehouse.

98
00:04:54,780 --> 00:04:57,305
And he also vaguely threatened
me with testicular cancer.

99
00:04:58,850 --> 00:05:00,215
All right.
Who else is here?

100
00:05:00,285 --> 00:05:02,150
Pam and Jim are
on their honeymoon,

101
00:05:02,220 --> 00:05:05,815
so there's not the usual
balance between sane and others.

102
00:05:05,891 --> 00:05:08,792
Toby has mentally
checked out since June.

103
00:05:08,860 --> 00:05:13,388
It's a very dangerous time. The
coalition for reason is extremely weak.

104
00:05:13,999 --> 00:05:16,160
Oscar says
I checked out, huh?

105
00:05:17,636 --> 00:05:18,625
Huh!

106
00:05:19,137 --> 00:05:20,434
This is bad. All right.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

107
00:05:20,505 --> 00:05:22,370
Calm down,
calm down, calm down.

108
00:05:22,441 --> 00:05:23,999
Ryan, you lived in New
York, what do you think?

109
00:05:24,076 --> 00:05:26,840
Well, first of all, there's
no such thing as the Mafia.

110
00:05:26,912 --> 00:05:29,904
Okay. What you have
are specific families.

111
00:05:29,981 --> 00:05:31,448
What's the guy's
last name?

112
00:05:31,516 --> 00:05:33,609
Um, it is Grotti.

113
00:05:33,685 --> 00:05:35,312
Oh, no.
That is...

114
00:05:35,387 --> 00:05:36,479
What? What?

115
00:05:36,555 --> 00:05:38,523
John Gotti, you idiot.

116
00:05:38,590 --> 00:05:40,785
It's a completely
different name.

117
00:05:40,859 --> 00:05:42,383
- So he won't get caught.
- Yeah.

118
00:05:42,461 --> 00:05:43,519
It's pretty close.

119
00:05:43,595 --> 00:05:44,584
What are you
talking about?

120
00:05:44,663 --> 00:05:47,860
What mobster would change his name
from Gotti to Grotti? It weakens it.

121
00:05:47,933 --> 00:05:51,562
No, I disagree. "R" is among
the most menacing of sounds.

122
00:05:51,636 --> 00:05:53,797
That's why they call it
"murder," not "mukduk."

123
00:05:53,872 --> 00:05:58,138
Okay, too many different words coming
at me from too many different sentences.

124
00:05:58,210 --> 00:05:59,199
Lock your door.

125
00:05:59,277 --> 00:06:01,336
I'm not going
to lock my door.

126
00:06:04,049 --> 00:06:06,449
Hello?
Jim, it's Oscar.

127
00:06:06,518 --> 00:06:08,611
I'm so sorry to be calling
you on your honeymoon.

128
00:06:08,687 --> 00:06:10,814
Oscar,
what is going on?

129
00:06:12,324 --> 00:06:15,350
It's Michael. He thinks he's
being shaken down by the mob.

130
00:06:15,427 --> 00:06:17,224
I don't know how you
usually handle this.

131
00:06:17,295 --> 00:06:19,024
We're in
Puerto Rico, so...

132
00:06:19,097 --> 00:06:21,224
Hey, Oscar. It's Pam, hey. Hey.

133
00:06:21,299 --> 00:06:22,323
We're on our
honeymoon.

134
00:06:22,401 --> 00:06:23,390
Pam, I'm sorry.

135
00:06:23,468 --> 00:06:24,765
Unless someone
very close to us

136
00:06:24,836 --> 00:06:26,098
is in immediate
physical danger,

137
00:06:26,171 --> 00:06:27,502
you should not
be calling us.

138
00:06:27,572 --> 00:06:28,869
You're right,
you're right.

139
00:06:28,940 --> 00:06:31,340
All right. Okay, bye.

140
00:06:34,513 --> 00:06:36,538
It's from Grotti.
He's following up.

141
00:06:36,615 --> 00:06:37,673
Already?

142
00:06:37,749 --> 00:06:40,115
This guy's persistent.

143
00:06:40,185 --> 00:06:43,518
Okay. "I feel that
you will regret

144
00:06:43,588 --> 00:06:46,250
"missing this great
opportunity to be in business."

145
00:06:47,359 --> 00:06:49,224
That's bad. That's bad. Yeah. Yeah.

146
00:06:49,294 --> 00:06:52,092
What are my options here?
Do I just ignore it or...

147
00:06:52,164 --> 00:06:54,655
Yeah, right.
You heard him,

148
00:06:54,733 --> 00:06:56,132
he's going to burn
the warehouse down

149
00:06:56,201 --> 00:06:57,566
or run one of our
trucks off the road.

150
00:06:57,636 --> 00:06:59,103
Okay, I'm calling
the police.

151
00:07:01,339 --> 00:07:03,739
That is the stupidest thing
you could do right now.

152
00:07:03,809 --> 00:07:05,470
No, he's right.
Cops can't do anything

153
00:07:05,544 --> 00:07:06,738
until a crime
has been reported.

154
00:07:06,812 --> 00:07:07,801
All right.
Not only that,

155
00:07:07,879 --> 00:07:09,471
but if they find out you snitched,

156
00:07:09,548 --> 00:07:12,608
you get a dead horse's
chopped off head in your bed.

157
00:07:12,684 --> 00:07:14,117
You know what?
That's not going to happen.

158
00:07:14,186 --> 00:07:15,551
That's an exaggeration.
- That's how it works.

159
00:07:15,620 --> 00:07:16,848
What am I
supposed to do here?

160
00:07:16,922 --> 00:07:20,221
When somebody threatens you,
you give in right away.

161
00:07:20,292 --> 00:07:22,852
Okay, you need to buy insurance from
this guy and get him off your back.

162
00:07:22,928 --> 00:07:24,020
I was thinking exactly the same thing.

163
00:07:24,095 --> 00:07:26,359
No. Criminals are like
raccoons, okay?

164
00:07:26,431 --> 00:07:27,455
You give them
a taste of cat food,

165
00:07:27,532 --> 00:07:29,329
pretty soon they'll be
back for the whole cat.

166
00:07:29,401 --> 00:07:31,130
Dwight. The only way to defeat a bully

167
00:07:31,203 --> 00:07:34,366
is to stand up to him. Trust me,
I have bullied a lot of people.

168
00:07:34,439 --> 00:07:35,667
I don't know. I don't know about that.

169
00:07:35,740 --> 00:07:37,765
Wait. Let's hear him out.
This is interesting.

170
00:07:37,843 --> 00:07:40,710
Here's what we do. We
meet him in a public place,

171
00:07:40,779 --> 00:07:42,542
ask him to lunch
or something like that.

172
00:07:42,614 --> 00:07:44,582
Someplace where he
can't be openly violent.

173
00:07:44,649 --> 00:07:45,809
Okay.
Let him know

174
00:07:45,884 --> 00:07:48,375
that you are not the typical kind
of guy that he can shake down,

175
00:07:48,453 --> 00:07:52,116
that you're stubborn, that you
might even be a little bit dangerous.

176
00:07:52,190 --> 00:07:54,454
I like this plan. I'd like to
officially withdraw my plan.

177
00:07:54,526 --> 00:07:55,891
Hold on, hold on,
just...

178
00:07:55,961 --> 00:07:57,258
No, no, no, no.
My plan is out.

179
00:07:57,329 --> 00:07:58,762
We do it the hard way.

180
00:07:58,830 --> 00:08:02,231
All right, I will meet with
him, but I'm not going alone.

181
00:08:02,300 --> 00:08:05,428
Well, you're going to
have to. We'll be right beside you.

182
00:08:05,504 --> 00:08:06,528
What?

183
00:08:10,742 --> 00:08:12,073
All right.

184
00:08:20,886 --> 00:08:23,116
What are you wearing?
Who's Pat?

185
00:08:23,188 --> 00:08:26,646
If I'm going to back you up, I need
a weapon without drawing suspicion.

186
00:08:26,725 --> 00:08:28,192
And I have to
justify it somehow,

187
00:08:28,260 --> 00:08:30,524
so I'm a mechanic
with a tire thing.

188
00:08:30,595 --> 00:08:31,755
Do you know
how to use it?

189
00:08:31,830 --> 00:08:33,354
To change tires, no.

190
00:08:33,431 --> 00:08:35,831
But, I mean, it's metal,
I can hit somebody with it.

191
00:08:35,901 --> 00:08:37,596
Let's go, come on.

192
00:08:38,336 --> 00:08:40,429
God. God.

193
00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:43,307
Should I change?
You're wearing loafers.

194
00:08:43,375 --> 00:08:45,366
Forget it.
Forget it.

195
00:08:49,180 --> 00:08:51,808
Take that thing off
the table. Please.

196
00:08:52,284 --> 00:08:55,651
Well, then I can't use it.
I'm just going to hide it.

197
00:08:57,522 --> 00:09:00,514
Hey. The bathroom
checks out clean.

198
00:09:00,592 --> 00:09:02,492
Nothing behind the toilet
except this roach motel.

199
00:09:02,561 --> 00:09:04,426
No! God!
Oh, my God.

200
00:09:04,496 --> 00:09:06,123
You'll never kill it that way. Guys.

201
00:09:06,197 --> 00:09:07,528
You want to separate
the head from the thorax.

202
00:09:07,599 --> 00:09:10,261
Guys, guys. Cool it.

203
00:09:11,002 --> 00:09:12,993
There he is, there he is.

204
00:09:14,873 --> 00:09:16,431
Hello.
Mr. Scott, hello.

205
00:09:16,508 --> 00:09:20,501
Mr. Grotti, we meet again.
These are my associates.

206
00:09:20,579 --> 00:09:21,841
Hi, Angelo Grotti.

207
00:09:21,913 --> 00:09:22,971
Hi.
Hello.

208
00:09:23,048 --> 00:09:25,073
So...
You got this table?

209
00:09:25,150 --> 00:09:26,947
Yes. What's this, one
of them half-booths,

210
00:09:27,018 --> 00:09:28,315
can't-decide-what-it-is
type of thing?

211
00:09:28,386 --> 00:09:29,546
Well...

212
00:09:29,621 --> 00:09:32,613
Waitress, we're going
to sit over here.

213
00:09:32,691 --> 00:09:33,919
That's fine.

214
00:09:33,992 --> 00:09:35,084
Okay.

215
00:09:43,468 --> 00:09:44,457
Hello?

216
00:09:44,536 --> 00:09:45,594
Hello, Mr. Halpert.

217
00:09:45,670 --> 00:09:48,696
I'm calling from the Identity
Theft department at Capital One.

218
00:09:48,773 --> 00:09:51,765
We've detected some unusual
activity on your credit card.

219
00:09:51,843 --> 00:09:54,403
Oh, man. Do you think
it was stolen?

220
00:09:54,479 --> 00:09:57,573
First, would you mind
verifying your home address?

221
00:09:57,649 --> 00:09:58,775
Um... Yes.

222
00:10:01,419 --> 00:10:05,412
383 Linden Ave.,
Scranton, PA.

223
00:10:05,490 --> 00:10:07,981
And may I have the last four
digits of your social security?

224
00:10:08,059 --> 00:10:09,686
Six-six-five-zero.

225
00:10:09,761 --> 00:10:13,754
Well, Mr. Halpert, you're obviously
not in San Juan, Puerto Rico.

226
00:10:13,832 --> 00:10:15,163
Wait a minute.
Yes, I am.

227
00:10:15,233 --> 00:10:17,030
I'm going to go ahead
and put a hold on your card.

228
00:10:17,102 --> 00:10:19,366
No. That... I...

229
00:10:20,005 --> 00:10:24,271
I think that we should let the
criminal use the card a little longer.

230
00:10:24,576 --> 00:10:27,602
Very funny, sir. We'll get a
new card out to you right away.

231
00:10:27,679 --> 00:10:30,204
No. Have a nice day and thank you.

232
00:10:33,551 --> 00:10:35,041
Shoot.

233
00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:38,317
If you want to supplement
your coverage, we can do that.

234
00:10:38,390 --> 00:10:41,951
If you want to replace your
current coverage, all the better.

235
00:10:42,027 --> 00:10:43,221
Hey, you seem
like a nice guy.

236
00:10:43,294 --> 00:10:44,488
Oh, he's not that nice.

237
00:10:44,596 --> 00:10:46,029
That's true.
Mmm-hmm.

238
00:10:46,598 --> 00:10:48,225
That's very true.
Okay, shut up.

239
00:10:48,299 --> 00:10:50,096
Have you decided?

240
00:10:50,168 --> 00:10:53,262
Yeah, I'll have the linguini,
red sauce on the side.

241
00:10:53,338 --> 00:10:56,865
If the sauce does not come on
the side, I will send it back.

242
00:10:56,941 --> 00:10:59,375
I want garlic bread,
toasted, not burnt.

243
00:10:59,444 --> 00:11:01,810
If it comes burnt,
I will send it back.

244
00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:04,815
Okay, then.
And for you, sir?

245
00:11:04,883 --> 00:11:06,248
I will have
the gabbagool.

246
00:11:06,918 --> 00:11:08,180
The what?

247
00:11:09,654 --> 00:11:11,053
The gabbagool.

248
00:11:11,790 --> 00:11:13,519
I don't really know
what that is.

249
00:11:13,591 --> 00:11:15,286
You know,
gabbagool.

250
00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:16,725
I don't have to have that.

251
00:11:16,795 --> 00:11:18,592
What he's trying to
say is, gabbagool.

252
00:11:18,663 --> 00:11:19,652
Guys, guys,
all right.

253
00:11:19,731 --> 00:11:20,823
I don't really think
that we have that.

254
00:11:20,899 --> 00:11:22,560
That's okay. Bring him the gabbagool.

255
00:11:22,634 --> 00:11:26,001
I will have the
spaghetti with a side salad.

256
00:11:26,071 --> 00:11:27,163
Okay.

257
00:11:27,338 --> 00:11:30,034
If the salad is on top,
I send it back.

258
00:11:30,742 --> 00:11:33,108
Why would you cancel
Jim's credit cards?

259
00:11:33,178 --> 00:11:35,169
I usually can think
quick on my feet,

260
00:11:35,246 --> 00:11:37,146
but they were so
fast on the phone.

261
00:11:37,215 --> 00:11:39,115
This constitutes
identity fraud.

262
00:11:39,184 --> 00:11:40,412
Oh, God.

263
00:11:40,652 --> 00:11:43,849
I wouldn't last in jail,
Oscar. I'm not like you.

264
00:11:44,989 --> 00:11:46,820
What's that
supposed to mean?

265
00:11:46,891 --> 00:11:48,791
What, you don't
know about jail?

266
00:11:48,860 --> 00:11:50,987
You would love jail.

267
00:11:51,296 --> 00:11:52,729
Why would I love jail?

268
00:11:52,797 --> 00:11:56,233
Because...
You would love it.

269
00:11:58,136 --> 00:12:03,233
I don't think our company actually
needs any more insurance. So, I am out.

270
00:12:03,308 --> 00:12:06,937
Look closely, Michael. I feel
there's a plan here for you.

271
00:12:07,645 --> 00:12:09,840
Maybe we have
a plan for you.

272
00:12:10,448 --> 00:12:11,745
How about you?

273
00:12:11,816 --> 00:12:14,808
Maybe you can use supplemental
coverage of some kind.

274
00:12:14,886 --> 00:12:16,513
Anybody can get hurt.

275
00:12:16,588 --> 00:12:18,988
You always think it can't
happen to you, and...

276
00:12:21,092 --> 00:12:22,423
Think about it.

277
00:12:22,494 --> 00:12:24,724
Excuse me.
Sorry to bother you.

278
00:12:24,796 --> 00:12:25,956
Are you a mechanic?

279
00:12:26,030 --> 00:12:27,088
Yeah.

280
00:12:27,165 --> 00:12:29,531
My battery's dead. I've got
my kid. Can you please help?

281
00:12:29,601 --> 00:12:30,590
Yes, I can.

282
00:12:30,668 --> 00:12:31,862
No, no, no,
no, come on.

283
00:12:31,936 --> 00:12:33,369
I'm sorry, we're
having our salads.

284
00:12:33,438 --> 00:12:35,770
Come on,
lady in distress.

285
00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:36,829
Go, go.

286
00:12:36,908 --> 00:12:38,705
Okay. Sorry.

287
00:12:39,244 --> 00:12:42,042
Thank you so much.
I really appreciate it.

288
00:12:42,113 --> 00:12:43,273
Hey, do you
need any help?

289
00:12:43,348 --> 00:12:46,112
I'm sure he can handle
a simple jumpstart.

290
00:12:46,184 --> 00:12:47,674
Now, come on, sit down.

291
00:12:47,752 --> 00:12:48,741
He's a good mechanic.

292
00:12:48,820 --> 00:12:50,048
Sit down.

293
00:12:50,121 --> 00:12:52,282
Where were we?
I don't...

294
00:12:52,357 --> 00:12:54,655
He was trying to force you to
sign a policy. Okay, okay, okay.

295
00:12:54,726 --> 00:12:56,717
So, we're choosing...
Okay. Yep.

296
00:12:56,795 --> 00:12:59,764
Did you check out Dental?
All right, put it down.

297
00:12:59,831 --> 00:13:05,326
Black goes on the red with
the... If we... Positive...

298
00:13:06,638 --> 00:13:10,199
It being a motor drive,
it's probably down.

299
00:13:10,275 --> 00:13:12,106
He seems bad at this.

300
00:13:12,177 --> 00:13:15,146
You want to do this, junior?
I didn't think so.

301
00:13:16,214 --> 00:13:20,275
I'm sorry, just had kind of a
long day at the mechanic store.

302
00:13:26,524 --> 00:13:28,014
You've got
a leaky spark tube.

303
00:13:28,092 --> 00:13:29,081
What?

304
00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:30,821
So, your car's totaled.

305
00:13:30,895 --> 00:13:33,193
You're gonna want to
get a refund on that.

306
00:13:33,264 --> 00:13:36,631
Or my guy could do it, he's
great. But I can't do that for you.

307
00:13:36,701 --> 00:13:39,397
I work exclusively
on motorcycles.

308
00:13:41,239 --> 00:13:42,570
All right.

309
00:13:45,043 --> 00:13:47,273
Now, if you could just sign
this letter of intent,

310
00:13:47,345 --> 00:13:49,472
I'll bring this
back to my boss

311
00:13:49,547 --> 00:13:50,912
and we can get
this in motion.

312
00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:56,909
You okay, Pat?

313
00:13:56,988 --> 00:13:57,977
Yeah, I was
just thinking

314
00:13:58,089 --> 00:14:03,550
about how I had this car.
It was this Italian car.

315
00:14:03,628 --> 00:14:05,459
And I was driving it,

316
00:14:05,530 --> 00:14:07,464
and it kept
telling me how much

317
00:14:07,532 --> 00:14:10,000
it needed oil, but I
wouldn't give it any oil.

318
00:14:10,068 --> 00:14:12,969
And then, one day it exploded
and it killed everyone,

319
00:14:13,037 --> 00:14:14,664
and that's what
I'm afraid of.

320
00:14:14,739 --> 00:14:17,264
Aren't you a mechanic? Why
wouldn't you put oil in a car?

321
00:14:17,342 --> 00:14:19,867
It was before my
technical training.

322
00:14:20,445 --> 00:14:22,174
Don't do it.

323
00:14:23,114 --> 00:14:24,138
Do it.

324
00:14:24,215 --> 00:14:25,773
Don't.
Just do it.

325
00:14:25,850 --> 00:14:27,943
Okay.
Don't do it.

326
00:14:28,019 --> 00:14:31,682
Look, Mike, I don't know what
your friends are telling you,

327
00:14:31,756 --> 00:14:34,657
but you have to
decide for yourself.

328
00:14:34,726 --> 00:14:36,717
I mean, are these guys
going to take care

329
00:14:36,794 --> 00:14:38,318
of your things
if you die tomorrow?

330
00:14:38,396 --> 00:14:39,454
Yes.

331
00:14:41,799 --> 00:14:42,788
Okay.

332
00:14:43,935 --> 00:14:45,664
I don't understand. Why
would you buy a policy?

333
00:14:45,737 --> 00:14:48,763
It's just the cost of
a cup of coffee an hour.

334
00:14:48,973 --> 00:14:51,498
You were man enough to back
down, Michael. I'm proud of you.

335
00:14:51,576 --> 00:14:53,441
I had to make
a snap decision, Dwight.

336
00:14:53,511 --> 00:14:55,809
It wasn't a snap decision. You
were sitting there for an hour.

337
00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:58,075
It was a lot of
snap decisions.

338
00:14:58,149 --> 00:14:59,878
- Do you know what "snap
decision" means? - Yes.

339
00:14:59,951 --> 00:15:00,940
It means like this.

340
00:15:01,019 --> 00:15:02,782
Just
get in the car.

341
00:15:04,889 --> 00:15:06,413
Hello?
Jim?

342
00:15:06,491 --> 00:15:08,459
Michael?
Oh, thank God.

343
00:15:08,526 --> 00:15:10,460
How did you get this number?

344
00:15:10,528 --> 00:15:11,552
Michael, we're on
a catamaran.

345
00:15:11,629 --> 00:15:12,618
It wasn't easy.

346
00:15:12,697 --> 00:15:15,359
I had to tell the hotel that
it was a medical emergency.

347
00:15:15,433 --> 00:15:16,832
I chose a massive
coronary because

348
00:15:16,901 --> 00:15:19,062
you told me that your
dad had a bad heart.

349
00:15:19,137 --> 00:15:22,766
Listen, man,
I got a problem.

350
00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:26,867
I think I'm in trouble with the
mob or a major insurance carrier.

351
00:15:26,945 --> 00:15:28,810
That sounds bad.
Yeah, I know.

352
00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:31,314
And you usually can get
out of stuff like this,

353
00:15:31,382 --> 00:15:32,872
so I'm turning to you,
my friend.

354
00:15:32,951 --> 00:15:33,975
I'm going to help you
through it, all right?

355
00:15:34,052 --> 00:15:35,041
Okay.

356
00:15:35,119 --> 00:15:37,019
All you're going
to need...

357
00:15:38,823 --> 00:15:40,017
And then go to...

358
00:15:40,091 --> 00:15:41,285
Jim. Are you...

359
00:15:41,359 --> 00:15:42,883
And you'll be saved.

360
00:15:42,961 --> 00:15:45,225
What? Wait. I didn't hear
a thing you just said.

361
00:15:45,296 --> 00:15:47,264
Just... And then
you'll be saved.

362
00:15:47,332 --> 00:15:50,028
No! God, I missed
the important part again.

363
00:15:51,235 --> 00:15:52,600
No. Oh, my God.

364
00:15:52,670 --> 00:15:54,194
And you'll be saved.
No, Jim.

365
00:15:54,272 --> 00:15:57,207
Please repeat what you're
saying, I can't understand you.

366
00:15:58,176 --> 00:16:01,907
Bermuda Triangle...
Please don't call again.

367
00:16:04,082 --> 00:16:05,106
Jim?

368
00:16:06,684 --> 00:16:08,049
Oh, my God.

369
00:16:16,394 --> 00:16:19,363
Hey, question for you.

370
00:16:20,665 --> 00:16:25,796
I recently purchased some insurance that
I can't afford given my present salary.

371
00:16:26,571 --> 00:16:28,163
Is there anything
accounting-wise I can do

372
00:16:28,239 --> 00:16:30,730
to sort of make
it all go away?

373
00:16:30,808 --> 00:16:34,300
Accounting-wise, no, but phone-wise,
just call up and cancel it.

374
00:16:34,379 --> 00:16:35,641
No, no.

375
00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:37,372
Um...

376
00:16:37,849 --> 00:16:40,579
What about this Cash
for Clunkers thing?

377
00:16:41,786 --> 00:16:44,277
Just, no. No.

378
00:16:44,355 --> 00:16:47,756
Okay. All right, well,
it was a thought. Thanks.

379
00:16:54,899 --> 00:16:58,460
We have let Michael down,
and it's 85% your fault.

380
00:16:58,536 --> 00:17:00,401
He's alive,
so you're welcome.

381
00:17:00,471 --> 00:17:02,701
Not on the inside,
he's not.

382
00:17:02,774 --> 00:17:08,508
Look at his life. Broke, living
in fear, no friends, dead-end job.

383
00:17:08,579 --> 00:17:10,843
Yeah, some of that
existed before.

384
00:17:10,915 --> 00:17:12,712
Not the living in fear,
that's new.

385
00:17:12,784 --> 00:17:13,773
You're right,
that is new.

386
00:17:13,851 --> 00:17:15,478
Yes.

387
00:17:15,553 --> 00:17:17,453
He's got to stand up
to this Mafia guy.

388
00:17:17,522 --> 00:17:19,080
Well, I don't see
that happening.

389
00:17:19,157 --> 00:17:20,283
Me neither.

390
00:17:20,358 --> 00:17:22,383
Not the way
things are now.

391
00:17:22,460 --> 00:17:26,658
But what if Michael felt no
fear toward the Mafia guy?

392
00:17:26,731 --> 00:17:27,720
Are you saying...
Yeah.

393
00:17:27,799 --> 00:17:31,098
that we surgically remove the
fear center from Michael's brain?

394
00:17:31,169 --> 00:17:32,261
What is wrong
with you?

395
00:17:32,336 --> 00:17:35,305
I am talking about convincing
Michael that the guy's not Mafia.

396
00:17:35,373 --> 00:17:36,931
That seems
a little farfetched.

397
00:17:37,008 --> 00:17:39,909
What, more farfetched than a
mobster walking into a paper company

398
00:17:39,977 --> 00:17:42,912
for a low-level shakedown?
And that happened.

399
00:17:44,482 --> 00:17:48,748
Michael, incredible
news. Grotti is clean.

400
00:17:49,220 --> 00:17:52,246
No, he's not.
He's just good.

401
00:17:53,191 --> 00:17:55,716
Nothing sticks to him. You still
don't understand how this works.

402
00:17:55,793 --> 00:17:57,886
No, Michael, what
we're trying to say is,

403
00:17:57,962 --> 00:18:00,522
we made a mistake
assuming he was Mafia.

404
00:18:00,598 --> 00:18:04,659
I have a buddy who's a Fed and we
did a background check on the guy,

405
00:18:04,735 --> 00:18:06,396
his background
is perfectly clean.

406
00:18:06,471 --> 00:18:07,563
It's true,
he's clean.

407
00:18:07,638 --> 00:18:10,402
I have a couple of friends still
on the force, checked with them,

408
00:18:10,475 --> 00:18:13,137
ran his Fed friend up the flagpole
to make sure he wasn't on the take.

409
00:18:13,211 --> 00:18:14,576
Turns out he's a totally lovely guy.

410
00:18:14,645 --> 00:18:15,942
Sweetest guy on the force, really.

411
00:18:16,013 --> 00:18:17,605
Class act.
Boy scout.

412
00:18:17,682 --> 00:18:19,582
But Grotti acts like
he's Mafia, though.

413
00:18:19,650 --> 00:18:21,515
He's trying to intimidate
you to close sales.

414
00:18:21,586 --> 00:18:23,076
He's just
a pushy salesman.

415
00:18:23,154 --> 00:18:25,816
And he made us all
look like chumps.

416
00:18:28,359 --> 00:18:32,261
If there is one thing I hate
more than the Mafia, it is a liar.

417
00:18:32,730 --> 00:18:35,722
I wish the Mafia would go
out and kill all the liars.

418
00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:40,100
And bury them in my yard. And I
wouldn't tell the cops a thing.

419
00:18:41,105 --> 00:18:42,766
Not that I would
be lying, per se,

420
00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:45,536
but I would just get really
quiet all of a sudden.

421
00:18:45,610 --> 00:18:47,578
This is
Grotti. This is Scott.

422
00:18:47,645 --> 00:18:51,308
Oh! Great, Michael. I'm just
finishing up your paperwork right now.

423
00:18:51,382 --> 00:18:53,976
Oh, really? Is that
supposed to scare me?

424
00:18:54,552 --> 00:18:55,814
I thought
you'd be pleased.

425
00:18:55,887 --> 00:18:58,014
Well, you thought wrong.

426
00:18:58,156 --> 00:19:00,522
Because I am not pleased.
I'm actually kind of p.o.'d.

427
00:19:00,591 --> 00:19:02,354
Why? I think you know exactly why.

428
00:19:02,426 --> 00:19:06,487
Because you were trying to
scare me into buying insurance.

429
00:19:06,564 --> 00:19:08,293
I don't get it.
How was I scaring you?

430
00:19:08,366 --> 00:19:10,561
I think you knew exactly
what you were doing,

431
00:19:10,635 --> 00:19:13,468
and frankly, I think you were
being a total and utter jerk.

432
00:19:13,538 --> 00:19:14,562
Ooh, okay.

433
00:19:14,639 --> 00:19:16,072
You suck.
- Okay. That's...

434
00:19:16,140 --> 00:19:17,903
And I'm not going to buy
your stupid insurance.

435
00:19:17,975 --> 00:19:19,670
That's good, let's wrap it
up. Okay. How about that?

436
00:19:19,744 --> 00:19:21,905
The only person that actually
needs insurance is you,

437
00:19:21,979 --> 00:19:23,970
if you show your face
around here again. Got it?

438
00:19:24,048 --> 00:19:26,642
Look, Michael, when
we all calm down here,

439
00:19:26,717 --> 00:19:28,309
maybe at some point
in the future,

440
00:19:28,386 --> 00:19:30,547
you change your mind, why
don't you give me a call?

441
00:19:30,621 --> 00:19:31,883
Doubt it.

442
00:19:34,792 --> 00:19:35,884
Oh, man.

443
00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:37,621
What a tool.

444
00:19:41,999 --> 00:19:42,988
What?

445
00:19:43,067 --> 00:19:44,193
Next time you look
in the mirror,

446
00:19:44,268 --> 00:19:48,705
you're going to be looking at
a guy who stood down the Mafia.

447
00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:51,635
No. What do you mean?

448
00:19:51,709 --> 00:19:55,440
We just told you he wasn't
Mafia so you wouldn't be scared.

449
00:19:56,647 --> 00:19:57,636
What?

450
00:19:57,715 --> 00:20:00,206
You successfully
backed down the mob.

451
00:20:00,284 --> 00:20:04,948
You made the Mafia apologize to
you. You made the Mafia be polite.

452
00:20:05,556 --> 00:20:07,285
Oh, man.

453
00:20:10,094 --> 00:20:12,255
I should be mad
at you guys.

454
00:20:13,364 --> 00:20:14,888
But I'm not.

455
00:20:14,966 --> 00:20:17,594
So, I looked him
in the eye and I said,

456
00:20:17,668 --> 00:20:20,136
"Not today, Grotti.
Not today.

457
00:20:20,204 --> 00:20:24,300
"And not tomorrow, and not the
next day, or the day after that.

458
00:20:24,375 --> 00:20:26,366
"And you can tell
all your friends that

459
00:20:26,444 --> 00:20:29,607
"if I see them,
then they are already dead."

460
00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:30,942
I said something like that.

461
00:20:31,015 --> 00:20:32,039
Very close.

462
00:20:32,116 --> 00:20:33,105
Just to be clear,
he backed down

463
00:20:33,184 --> 00:20:35,209
an insurance agent from
Mutual of Harrisburg.

464
00:20:35,286 --> 00:20:36,275
Erin?
- Yes?

465
00:20:36,354 --> 00:20:37,548
Coffee.
Okay.

466
00:20:37,622 --> 00:20:39,920
Not from the kitchen,
Stop & Shop.

467
00:20:39,991 --> 00:20:41,481
If it's not Stop & Shop,
I send it back.

468
00:20:41,559 --> 00:20:42,548
Okay.

469
00:20:42,627 --> 00:20:44,652
Large. If it's a medium, I send it back.

470
00:20:44,729 --> 00:20:46,959
If it's an extra large,
I send it back.

471
00:20:47,031 --> 00:20:48,396
How do you
return coffee?

472
00:20:48,466 --> 00:20:49,490
Go.

473
00:20:51,269 --> 00:20:52,759
Any questions?

474
00:20:55,172 --> 00:20:56,434
Are you kidding me?

475
00:20:56,507 --> 00:20:58,668
Hi, Pam. Is Jim there?

476
00:20:58,743 --> 00:21:01,303
Listen, our credit card has been
canceled and we have to deal with that.

477
00:21:01,379 --> 00:21:04,405
And I really can't handle the
fact that you're calling us here.

478
00:21:04,482 --> 00:21:07,849
Okay, that sounds good.
I'll let you go.

479
00:21:07,918 --> 00:21:12,446
Just tell Jim
that I said hi.

480
00:21:12,523 --> 00:21:16,857
I will. I will, Kevin. I will
make that my top priority.

481
00:21:16,927 --> 00:21:18,622
Cool. Okay. Bye.

482
00:21:22,066 --> 00:21:24,398
They have no idea
what happened.

483
00:21:24,925 --> 00:21:34,925
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