1
00:00:04,853 --> 00:00:05,945
They're back!

2
00:00:06,021 --> 00:00:08,785
Oh, yeah!

3
00:00:08,857 --> 00:00:11,257
Woo-hoo!
- Jim and Pam!

4
00:00:11,326 --> 00:00:13,624
- How was Puerto Rico? Was
it so romantic? - It was.

5
00:00:13,695 --> 00:00:14,684
It really was.

6
00:00:14,763 --> 00:00:15,855
Really was.

7
00:00:15,931 --> 00:00:17,762
I'm so happy for you.

8
00:00:17,833 --> 00:00:19,061
Puerto Rico
was awesome.

9
00:00:19,134 --> 00:00:21,159
Oh, my gosh. The honeymoon was great.

10
00:00:21,236 --> 00:00:23,636
We met this other couple at
the resort, Frank and Benny.

11
00:00:23,705 --> 00:00:25,195
We hung out
with them a lot.

12
00:00:25,274 --> 00:00:28,766
Frank and
Beans. Always makes her laugh.

13
00:00:29,678 --> 00:00:31,646
Frank and Beans.

14
00:00:32,881 --> 00:00:35,372
Is there someone there?
Who's there?

15
00:00:35,451 --> 00:00:36,975
I hear voices.
Is somebody there?

16
00:00:37,052 --> 00:00:38,144
Yeah!

17
00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:43,180
Is someone here? I can't
see you because I'm blind.

18
00:00:43,258 --> 00:00:44,520
It's Jim
and Pam, Michael.

19
00:00:44,593 --> 00:00:46,083
- It is?
- Yeah.

20
00:00:46,161 --> 00:00:47,492
They're back?

21
00:00:50,499 --> 00:00:52,057
Pam.
Nope.

22
00:00:52,134 --> 00:00:54,830
And, oh, Jim.

23
00:00:54,903 --> 00:00:56,234
Hi, Michael.

24
00:00:56,305 --> 00:01:01,140
I haven't seen you since my
accident that I had when I fell...

25
00:01:01,844 --> 00:01:05,575
I fell into the pool
of acid, eyes-first.

26
00:01:07,082 --> 00:01:08,140
Blind guy.

27
00:01:09,451 --> 00:01:11,919
Blind Guy McSqueezy.
How do I describe it?

28
00:01:11,987 --> 00:01:14,080
It is a character
I've been workshopping,

29
00:01:14,156 --> 00:01:17,683
whose lack of vision gets
him into all sorts of trouble.

30
00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:21,557
The women in my improv
class absolutely hate him.

31
00:01:25,334 --> 00:01:26,858
So, what'd you
bring us?

32
00:01:26,935 --> 00:01:28,197
Some candy.

33
00:01:28,270 --> 00:01:29,328
What else?

34
00:01:29,404 --> 00:01:30,393
That's it.

35
00:01:30,472 --> 00:01:33,236
Oh, because you spent
so much on the wedding.

36
00:01:37,012 --> 00:01:38,172
It's good to be home.

37
00:01:39,650 --> 00:01:45,724
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

38
00:02:00,235 --> 00:02:02,465
This conversation has
two items on the agenda.

39
00:02:02,538 --> 00:02:03,766
Did we have a conversation scheduled?

40
00:02:03,839 --> 00:02:06,808
Number one, do not leave
your things on my desk.

41
00:02:06,875 --> 00:02:09,571
It's not some kind of personal
pen receptacle for you.

42
00:02:09,645 --> 00:02:11,340
I don't care how high
they promote you.

43
00:02:11,413 --> 00:02:14,143
Which brings me
to item number two.

44
00:02:14,216 --> 00:02:16,548
I never formally congratulated
you on your promotion,

45
00:02:16,618 --> 00:02:20,918
so I'd just like to
say congratulations.

46
00:02:21,924 --> 00:02:26,088
Wow. That's really thoughtful
of you, Dwight. Thank you.

47
00:02:26,161 --> 00:02:27,185
You're welcome.

48
00:02:28,664 --> 00:02:31,292
I inserted a listening device
into the belly of the mallard.

49
00:02:31,767 --> 00:02:35,635
Now I can observe Jim,
track Jim, and destroy Jim.

50
00:02:35,704 --> 00:02:37,433
Just like in
the Bavarian fairytale.

51
00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:41,840
Only this time the mallard
skins the toad alive.

52
00:02:43,278 --> 00:02:44,267
And, of course,
in this version,

53
00:02:44,346 --> 00:02:47,008
you lose the whole veiled
critique of the Kaiser thing.

54
00:02:47,583 --> 00:02:51,041
I'm sorry to have been
bugging you all these years.

55
00:02:52,621 --> 00:02:53,645
It's a real
handsome duck.

56
00:02:53,722 --> 00:02:54,746
Mallard.

57
00:02:54,823 --> 00:02:56,882
Okay, I'll get out
of your hair.

58
00:03:03,398 --> 00:03:04,490
Hey.
Hey.

59
00:03:04,566 --> 00:03:06,466
We brought back some
Puerto Rican candy.

60
00:03:06,535 --> 00:03:08,628
Coco-Leche. That's
my favorite. Awesome.

61
00:03:08,704 --> 00:03:10,433
I'll leave it up here
so everyone can enjoy it.

62
00:03:10,505 --> 00:03:13,770
Oh, let me just check
with Michael first.

63
00:03:13,842 --> 00:03:15,935
I think it'll be okay.

64
00:03:16,011 --> 00:03:18,809
I think it will, too, but I'll
just check with him, though.

65
00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:19,869
Great.

66
00:03:19,948 --> 00:03:22,473
Oops. Sorry. Oops!

67
00:03:31,927 --> 00:03:33,451
I have recently
taken a lover.

68
00:03:33,528 --> 00:03:36,122
Well, that's great.
Congratulations.

69
00:03:36,732 --> 00:03:37,994
Who's the lucky lady?

70
00:03:38,066 --> 00:03:39,294
Pam's mom.

71
00:03:40,836 --> 00:03:43,304
What?
Pam's mom, Helene.

72
00:03:43,372 --> 00:03:44,600
Remember,
from your wedding?

73
00:03:45,140 --> 00:03:47,108
You're messing with me.
About what?

74
00:03:47,175 --> 00:03:48,904
You did not have
sex with Pam's mom.

75
00:03:48,977 --> 00:03:50,001
Oh, big time.

76
00:03:50,078 --> 00:03:51,067
What kind of car
does she drive?

77
00:03:51,146 --> 00:03:52,704
She drives a green Camry,

78
00:03:52,781 --> 00:03:55,545
And the seats go
all the way down.

79
00:03:55,617 --> 00:03:56,606
All the way down.

80
00:03:56,685 --> 00:03:57,947
Oh, my God.

81
00:03:59,087 --> 00:04:00,076
Oh, my God.

82
00:04:00,155 --> 00:04:01,782
What?

83
00:04:01,857 --> 00:04:04,417
Okay, never tell Pam,
and then, secondly...

84
00:04:04,493 --> 00:04:06,984
Good. A pact. A pact.

85
00:04:07,062 --> 00:04:08,256
Although, I may have
to break it tonight,

86
00:04:08,330 --> 00:04:11,231
when Helene and I
tell Pam over dinner.

87
00:04:11,300 --> 00:04:12,358
You all right?

88
00:04:12,434 --> 00:04:13,458
Oh, my God.

89
00:04:13,535 --> 00:04:15,560
Hey, Jim... Not now, Toby. My God!

90
00:04:15,637 --> 00:04:17,571
Jesus. Get the hell out of here, idiot!

91
00:04:17,639 --> 00:04:18,697
What did I do?

92
00:04:18,774 --> 00:04:21,299
Okay, as far as dinner
tonight, cancel that,

93
00:04:21,376 --> 00:04:23,367
and please,
for both of our sakes,

94
00:04:23,445 --> 00:04:27,245
never, ever,
ever see her again.

95
00:04:27,316 --> 00:04:29,216
I think you're
underestimating Pam.

96
00:04:29,284 --> 00:04:31,718
I think more than anything,
she wants me to be happy.

97
00:04:31,787 --> 00:04:33,687
No. Not more
than anything.

98
00:04:33,755 --> 00:04:35,017
Okay. I...

99
00:04:35,090 --> 00:04:37,081
I have a good thing with the
mom. Don't call her "the mom."

100
00:04:37,159 --> 00:04:38,490
She's right on my way
home from work.

101
00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:39,925
Then take a different
way home, man!

102
00:04:39,995 --> 00:04:43,328
All right,
I'll take surface streets.

103
00:04:43,765 --> 00:04:46,290
The last thing in the world I
would want to do is upset Pam.

104
00:04:46,368 --> 00:04:47,858
Okay. So, we're good.

105
00:04:47,936 --> 00:04:49,028
Yeah.

106
00:04:53,342 --> 00:04:55,902
Can you change my dinner
reservations from four people to two?

107
00:04:55,977 --> 00:04:58,241
Sure. Is it okay
if I put out some candy

108
00:04:58,313 --> 00:04:59,837
that Pam brought back
from Puerto Rico?

109
00:04:59,915 --> 00:05:01,906
Sure.
Thanks for asking.

110
00:05:01,983 --> 00:05:03,541
Pam, we're all set.

111
00:05:09,358 --> 00:05:10,484
Yum.

112
00:05:12,861 --> 00:05:13,850
Frank and Beans!

113
00:05:13,929 --> 00:05:15,487
Frank and Beans!

114
00:05:16,598 --> 00:05:18,896
So, what'd we decide
for Michael?

115
00:05:18,967 --> 00:05:21,765
The bottle of rum or
the seashell alarm clock?

116
00:05:21,837 --> 00:05:24,772
You know what, can I have
the weekend to decide?

117
00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:26,603
Bottle of rum it is.

118
00:05:27,743 --> 00:05:29,802
All right, shall we?
You know what?

119
00:05:29,878 --> 00:05:32,676
I am really slammed trying to
catch up on everything here,

120
00:05:32,748 --> 00:05:34,807
and I know that
Michael's slammed, too,

121
00:05:34,883 --> 00:05:38,819
so maybe we should do this when
things are a little less crazy.

122
00:05:42,657 --> 00:05:44,124
Come on, it'll take two seconds.

123
00:05:44,192 --> 00:05:45,625
No, it...

124
00:06:07,816 --> 00:06:10,307
Oh, wow.

125
00:06:10,519 --> 00:06:13,920
That is amazing. I feel
like a real Puerto Rican.

126
00:06:13,989 --> 00:06:15,320
Michael, you're all
set at Botticelli's.

127
00:06:15,390 --> 00:06:16,880
I changed the reservation
to two people.

128
00:06:16,958 --> 00:06:18,323
Erin, look.

129
00:06:18,693 --> 00:06:20,058
Fun.
- Yeah.

130
00:06:21,329 --> 00:06:24,230
Wow, Botticelli's. That
sounds like a special occasion.

131
00:06:24,299 --> 00:06:26,130
Yeah, no,
it's nobody.

132
00:06:27,302 --> 00:06:29,862
I don't know. I think
Michael has a date.

133
00:06:29,938 --> 00:06:31,599
No. Yeah, I think you have a date.

134
00:06:31,673 --> 00:06:33,334
I don't, I don't.
Come on.

135
00:06:33,408 --> 00:06:35,000
Ah, I think we should just drop it.

136
00:06:35,076 --> 00:06:37,636
Because obviously he doesn't
want to talk about it.

137
00:06:37,712 --> 00:06:39,475
I don't deserve this, guys.
- Yes, you do.

138
00:06:39,548 --> 00:06:41,880
No, I don't.
Just take the parrot.

139
00:06:43,518 --> 00:06:45,509
Okay, back to
the old grind.

140
00:06:45,587 --> 00:06:47,487
I was probably going to
break up with her anyway.

141
00:06:47,556 --> 00:06:49,251
Oh! That's too bad.
Don't.

142
00:06:49,324 --> 00:06:51,019
Pam, it is very
complicated.

143
00:06:51,092 --> 00:06:52,286
There are a lot of
moving parts here.

144
00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:53,520
Sounds complicated.

145
00:06:53,595 --> 00:06:55,756
Yeah, but, I mean, if you
really like this person,

146
00:06:55,831 --> 00:06:57,526
then you should
see where it goes.

147
00:06:57,599 --> 00:06:58,657
You want me
to be happy?

148
00:06:58,733 --> 00:07:00,360
Of course.

149
00:07:00,435 --> 00:07:04,804
Part of the problem is she's the
mother of a close friend of mine.

150
00:07:05,307 --> 00:07:06,331
Oh.

151
00:07:06,408 --> 00:07:08,842
More than a friend.
A coworker.

152
00:07:09,077 --> 00:07:11,910
Oh, gossip.
Who is it?

153
00:07:14,583 --> 00:07:15,982
Who is it?

154
00:07:17,886 --> 00:07:19,649
Who is it,
Michael?

155
00:07:22,524 --> 00:07:23,957
Who?

156
00:07:24,025 --> 00:07:25,083
It's okay.

157
00:07:27,095 --> 00:07:28,687
No, no, no, no, no.

158
00:07:29,064 --> 00:07:33,262
No. Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!

159
00:07:33,335 --> 00:07:35,929
No!

160
00:07:36,371 --> 00:07:38,464
That could have
gone one of two ways,

161
00:07:38,540 --> 00:07:41,031
but I never expected her to get upset.

162
00:07:47,816 --> 00:07:51,479
You seem tense. Hey, you want
me to give you the chills?

163
00:07:53,255 --> 00:07:54,381
Okay.

164
00:07:59,961 --> 00:08:03,897
There's an egg on your
head And the yolk is running down

165
00:08:03,965 --> 00:08:05,057
The yolk is running down

166
00:08:05,133 --> 00:08:06,191
Feels good.

167
00:08:06,268 --> 00:08:09,601
There's a knife in your back
And the blood is gushing down

168
00:08:09,671 --> 00:08:12,469
Sleeping with Pam's mom.
Sometimes dinner.

169
00:08:13,842 --> 00:08:17,608
The blood is gushing down
The blood is gushing down

170
00:08:18,914 --> 00:08:21,041
You know, I really would
have appreciated a heads-up

171
00:08:21,116 --> 00:08:22,447
that you were
into dating mothers.

172
00:08:22,517 --> 00:08:24,815
I would have introduced you to mine.

173
00:08:24,886 --> 00:08:28,117
How could you do this
to me? He's my boss.

174
00:08:28,757 --> 00:08:31,954
How many times have I
complained about him to you?

175
00:08:32,260 --> 00:08:35,491
No, I am not being dramatic,
you are being crazy!

176
00:08:37,966 --> 00:08:40,594
Who wants a hot chocolate?

177
00:08:40,669 --> 00:08:42,102
Thank you.

178
00:08:46,041 --> 00:08:49,636
So, Dwight gave me this
wooden mallard as a gift.

179
00:08:49,711 --> 00:08:52,179
I found a recording
device in it.

180
00:08:53,148 --> 00:08:57,107
Yes. So, I think
if I play it just right,

181
00:08:57,652 --> 00:09:01,213
I can get Dwight to live out
the plot of National Treasure.

182
00:09:01,289 --> 00:09:05,350
You need to be more upset about
this. She's your mother, too, now.

183
00:09:07,228 --> 00:09:10,163
Your mother is sleeping
with Michael Scott.

184
00:09:13,535 --> 00:09:15,469
Andy, can I talk
to you for a second?

185
00:09:15,537 --> 00:09:17,368
Sure thing,
Tuna boss.

186
00:09:28,617 --> 00:09:30,949
How may I be
of service to you?

187
00:09:31,252 --> 00:09:34,050
I am going to need
your advice.

188
00:09:47,135 --> 00:09:49,467
I was thinking of getting this
opera for Dwight's birthday.

189
00:09:49,537 --> 00:09:51,232
What do you think?

190
00:09:54,109 --> 00:09:56,543
This aria is a joke.
Really?

191
00:09:56,611 --> 00:09:57,873
What are you thinking?

192
00:10:00,749 --> 00:10:01,841
I was going to go
with this one.

193
00:10:01,916 --> 00:10:04,714
Let me tell you something,
if you respect him at all,

194
00:10:04,786 --> 00:10:07,254
you will get him
something better.

195
00:10:11,493 --> 00:10:13,154
Nard-Dog, what was
that all about?

196
00:10:13,228 --> 00:10:14,490
I know, right?

197
00:10:14,562 --> 00:10:16,029
What were you guys
talking about in there?

198
00:10:16,097 --> 00:10:18,565
Trust me, it would
only make you mad.

199
00:10:31,379 --> 00:10:33,313
Due to a certain
recent incident,

200
00:10:33,381 --> 00:10:36,077
corporate has asked all the
branches to come up with ideas

201
00:10:36,151 --> 00:10:40,645
as to how we can better
communicate with our communities.

202
00:10:40,722 --> 00:10:44,214
Is this because of the 60 Minutes
segment about working conditions

203
00:10:44,292 --> 00:10:45,350
in our Peruvian
paper mill?

204
00:10:45,427 --> 00:10:46,985
That was a hit job.

205
00:10:47,062 --> 00:10:50,589
If you read the Dunder Mifflin
press release, it clearly states

206
00:10:50,665 --> 00:10:53,133
that they had absolutely
nothing to do

207
00:10:53,201 --> 00:10:55,260
with that particular
cancer cluster.

208
00:10:55,870 --> 00:10:58,168
So, if there is a lesson
to be learned here,

209
00:10:58,239 --> 00:10:59,934
and I'm not sure
that there is,

210
00:11:00,008 --> 00:11:02,704
it is that in order to
help our communities,

211
00:11:02,777 --> 00:11:05,575
we need to put other people's
needs ahead of our own.

212
00:11:06,748 --> 00:11:09,945
And whoever comes up with the best
idea gets a $50 gift certificate

213
00:11:10,018 --> 00:11:11,918
to the restaurant of his or
her choice.

214
00:11:11,986 --> 00:11:13,817
Yeah.
- Good, good.

215
00:11:13,888 --> 00:11:17,756
Okay, who wants to help the
world one step at a time?

216
00:11:18,293 --> 00:11:19,351
All right, good.

217
00:11:19,427 --> 00:11:20,451
Volunteerism is important.

218
00:11:20,562 --> 00:11:22,757
Every weekend I volunteer
at the local animal shelter,

219
00:11:22,831 --> 00:11:24,799
and they need a lot
of help down there.

220
00:11:24,866 --> 00:11:27,596
Last Sunday, I had to put down
over 150 pets all by myself.

221
00:11:27,669 --> 00:11:28,795
All right,
that's...

222
00:11:28,870 --> 00:11:31,338
Paint a mural of Chicano
leaders. All right.

223
00:11:31,406 --> 00:11:34,569
I have a way to make Scranton a
better place. You could leave it.

224
00:11:35,844 --> 00:11:38,039
Okay, I'm out of here.
See you later, guys.

225
00:11:38,113 --> 00:11:39,603
And stay out.
Bye-bye.

226
00:11:40,415 --> 00:11:43,111
Okay. Oh, no, here's
an idea. Conservation.

227
00:11:43,184 --> 00:11:45,084
I love it,
conservation.

228
00:11:45,153 --> 00:11:47,713
Let's start by
conserving our time

229
00:11:47,789 --> 00:11:49,916
and stop having
these stupid meetings.

230
00:11:50,892 --> 00:11:54,157
No more meetings!
No more meetings!

231
00:11:54,229 --> 00:11:57,426
No more meetings!
No more meetings!

232
00:11:59,367 --> 00:12:00,959
Anybody else?
Who else has an idea?

233
00:12:01,035 --> 00:12:03,026
- I have some ideas about
conservation. - Yes.

234
00:12:03,104 --> 00:12:04,264
Angela.
Thank you.

235
00:12:05,406 --> 00:12:07,203
Please. Can you hold down the fort?

236
00:12:07,275 --> 00:12:09,607
- Hey, boo. - Well, first
of all, I think that we could...

237
00:12:09,677 --> 00:12:10,666
Why are you crying?

238
00:12:10,745 --> 00:12:12,303
Yes, I think we should
look into that.

239
00:12:12,380 --> 00:12:14,439
If you could just
speak up louder.

240
00:12:14,516 --> 00:12:15,744
- Well, for our profit and
loss... - No, no.

241
00:12:16,951 --> 00:12:21,479
No, I'll talk to her. I will. No,
nobody talks to my baby that way. Uh-uh.

242
00:12:21,823 --> 00:12:25,691
Yeah, I'll let you know how it
goes. All right. Bye, pickle.

243
00:12:26,528 --> 00:12:28,655
- Who's pickle?
- Who's pickle?

244
00:12:29,164 --> 00:12:30,791
Pamela Morgan Beesly.

245
00:12:30,865 --> 00:12:33,459
You need to apologize
to your mother right now.

246
00:12:33,535 --> 00:12:35,969
I'm sorry, I was told
I had the floor. Yes.

247
00:12:36,037 --> 00:12:37,334
Hold on, hold on.
What's going on?

248
00:12:37,405 --> 00:12:38,463
Nothing.

249
00:12:38,540 --> 00:12:40,974
Nothing at all.
It's all good.

250
00:12:41,042 --> 00:12:45,741
I'm not apologizing to anyone.
Michael owes me an apology.

251
00:12:45,814 --> 00:12:47,679
For trying to find happiness
in the arms of a lover?

252
00:12:47,749 --> 00:12:49,444
Don't call my mother
your lover.

253
00:12:50,585 --> 00:12:52,018
Oh, yes! That's what
I'm talking about.

254
00:12:52,086 --> 00:12:53,713
That is not okay, dude.

255
00:12:53,788 --> 00:12:55,016
All right,
in my defense...

256
00:12:55,089 --> 00:12:56,886
Disgusting.
That's messed up, man.

257
00:12:56,958 --> 00:12:59,358
Yes, thank you.
Welcome to my personal hell.

258
00:12:59,427 --> 00:13:01,691
You have no sense of boundaries,
Michael. Shut up, Oscar.

259
00:13:01,763 --> 00:13:04,095
Hey, all right, you know what?
Clearly, I'm outnumbered here.

260
00:13:04,165 --> 00:13:07,532
But can I just say
one thing? Please?

261
00:13:08,403 --> 00:13:10,462
What is so wrong
about me?

262
00:13:11,005 --> 00:13:13,735
I'm caring,
I'm generous.

263
00:13:15,877 --> 00:13:17,310
I'm sensual.

264
00:13:18,046 --> 00:13:24,474
Is it really so horrible that I could
possibly go out and find happiness?

265
00:13:29,190 --> 00:13:32,853
Good luck, Michael. I hope
you find what you're looking for.

266
00:13:32,927 --> 00:13:34,121
Maybe you're right.
Who are we to...

267
00:13:34,195 --> 00:13:35,287
Shut up, Oscar!

268
00:13:35,363 --> 00:13:36,796
What is wrong
with all of you?

269
00:13:36,865 --> 00:13:39,299
He is sleeping
with my mother!

270
00:13:39,367 --> 00:13:41,631
I don't think there's a whole
lot of sleeping going on.

271
00:13:41,703 --> 00:13:44,001
Let's get back to
the matter at hand.

272
00:13:44,072 --> 00:13:45,437
Whatever, you know.

273
00:13:45,506 --> 00:13:47,497
Sleep with my mom, just
sleep with everybody's mom.

274
00:13:47,575 --> 00:13:48,564
No, no, no,
no, no... No.

275
00:13:48,643 --> 00:13:50,577
- This is not... - Whoa! That's
my mom you're talking about.

276
00:13:50,645 --> 00:13:51,942
I don't like
the tone here.

277
00:13:52,013 --> 00:13:54,538
This is a place of business.
You are to listen to others,

278
00:13:54,616 --> 00:13:56,049
you are to give
others respect,

279
00:13:56,117 --> 00:13:58,210
and you are to keep your
personal issues out of it.

280
00:13:58,286 --> 00:14:00,652
Oh, my God!
You are ridiculous!

281
00:14:00,722 --> 00:14:02,986
Do not talk
to me that way!

282
00:14:03,057 --> 00:14:06,618
I am your boss and I may someday
be your father, so get out.

283
00:14:06,694 --> 00:14:09,822
You are never going to
be my father. You get out.

284
00:14:09,898 --> 00:14:13,834
I hope that you are willing to
die in this office, because I am.

285
00:14:14,302 --> 00:14:15,564
Me, too.

286
00:14:19,540 --> 00:14:20,734
Hey.
Hey.

287
00:14:20,942 --> 00:14:23,342
Pam, how's your day going?

288
00:14:23,411 --> 00:14:26,437
Pam, just for the record, I think
you're overreacting a little bit.

289
00:14:26,514 --> 00:14:28,505
Your mom's old enough
to make her own decisions.

290
00:14:28,583 --> 00:14:30,778
Oh, well, thanks, Oscar.

291
00:14:30,852 --> 00:14:32,217
I was just wondering,
how would you feel

292
00:14:32,287 --> 00:14:34,016
if Michael was sleeping
with your mom?

293
00:14:34,088 --> 00:14:36,215
My mother's
in a wheelchair.

294
00:14:36,724 --> 00:14:38,624
Well, he could still...

295
00:14:40,561 --> 00:14:42,392
I'm sorry about that.

296
00:14:43,298 --> 00:14:46,597
Could I just get you to sign
the second page as well?

297
00:14:46,668 --> 00:14:49,262
Ryan, I have
to ask you a personal question.

298
00:14:49,337 --> 00:14:51,100
Do you think that
I should get a fedora?

299
00:14:51,172 --> 00:14:53,140
I don't think so, no.

300
00:14:53,574 --> 00:14:54,871
Why? I think I'd
look really hot in one.

301
00:14:54,943 --> 00:14:56,171
Where did you
get your fedora?

302
00:14:56,244 --> 00:14:57,438
I'd rather
not say.

303
00:14:57,512 --> 00:14:59,844
You think I'm going
to get the same fedora as you?

304
00:14:59,914 --> 00:15:01,074
Hey, Dwight.
Shh!

305
00:15:01,149 --> 00:15:03,310
- Natural look. - I think
I would look really cute in it.

306
00:15:03,384 --> 00:15:04,908
It has to go with the
persona that you already have.

307
00:15:04,986 --> 00:15:06,214
Well, I think
I have that persona.

308
00:15:06,287 --> 00:15:07,447
Where did you
get that mallard?

309
00:15:07,522 --> 00:15:08,511
What the hell
is a mallard?

310
00:15:08,589 --> 00:15:09,920
That!

311
00:15:10,458 --> 00:15:13,450
Oh, Professor Damon D. Duck.
Jim gave him to me.

312
00:15:13,528 --> 00:15:15,996
Okay, I gave that to him as
a gift. I'm taking that back.

313
00:15:16,064 --> 00:15:17,827
If you take it back,
I'll scream.

314
00:15:20,234 --> 00:15:21,360
I'll give you
five bucks for it.

315
00:15:21,436 --> 00:15:22,767
Twenty.

316
00:15:22,837 --> 00:15:24,202
Ten.
Deal.

317
00:15:28,676 --> 00:15:30,143
You're so cool.

318
00:15:30,211 --> 00:15:33,339
This reminds me, you owe
me three bucks for gas.

319
00:15:34,649 --> 00:15:35,946
Hey, Toby, can I talk
to you for a minute?

320
00:15:36,017 --> 00:15:37,041
Yeah, sure.

321
00:15:37,118 --> 00:15:38,983
What's up?
I just wanted to apologize

322
00:15:39,053 --> 00:15:40,987
for taking that tone
with you earlier.

323
00:15:41,055 --> 00:15:43,250
That was uncalled for.
I'm sorry.

324
00:15:43,324 --> 00:15:47,055
Yeah. That means a lot.
Thank you for saying it.

325
00:15:47,128 --> 00:15:48,117
Can I sit down
for a second?

326
00:15:48,196 --> 00:15:49,185
Yeah,
or pull up a chair,

327
00:15:49,263 --> 00:15:50,560
or you can sit
on the shredder.

328
00:15:54,635 --> 00:15:56,830
This is going
to sound weird,

329
00:15:57,405 --> 00:16:00,841
but I think I may be the victim
of a hostile work environment

330
00:16:00,908 --> 00:16:02,705
with this whole
Pam situation.

331
00:16:02,777 --> 00:16:05,507
You should probably deal with
that outside of the workplace.

332
00:16:05,580 --> 00:16:07,138
She brought it
into the workplace,

333
00:16:07,215 --> 00:16:09,513
so I feel like it has
to be dealt with here.

334
00:16:09,584 --> 00:16:12,553
Yeah. Okay, well, I
mean, I could talk to her.

335
00:16:12,620 --> 00:16:13,609
Really?
Yeah.

336
00:16:13,688 --> 00:16:15,417
Would you do that?
Yeah.

337
00:16:15,490 --> 00:16:17,754
That's why they
pay me the big bucks.

338
00:16:22,296 --> 00:16:24,264
You're a good, good guy.

339
00:16:25,133 --> 00:16:26,157
Okay.

340
00:16:26,234 --> 00:16:29,169
You know, I always knew if Michael
just took the time to get to know me,

341
00:16:29,237 --> 00:16:30,727
we'd become friends.

342
00:16:32,073 --> 00:16:35,008
Hey, Pam, could I talk
to you for a sec?

343
00:16:36,511 --> 00:16:38,479
Sure. What's up?

344
00:16:38,546 --> 00:16:42,482
Well, I was hoping that maybe in light
of everything that's happened today,

345
00:16:42,550 --> 00:16:45,144
it would be a good idea
if you and me and Michael

346
00:16:45,219 --> 00:16:48,086
head into the conference room
for some conflict resolution.

347
00:16:48,156 --> 00:16:49,623
What's the matter? Can't
fight your own battles?

348
00:16:49,690 --> 00:16:52,250
No, that's...

349
00:16:52,326 --> 00:16:54,556
Maybe you should just take the
rest of the day off, you know?

350
00:16:54,629 --> 00:16:56,494
Oh, would that make
you feel better?

351
00:16:56,564 --> 00:16:59,192
I don't... I can't hear
your conversation.

352
00:16:59,267 --> 00:17:02,168
You can tell Michael
that I'm not leaving.

353
00:17:07,375 --> 00:17:09,138
Buddy, I think that you
can't make her leave...

354
00:17:09,210 --> 00:17:10,734
Yeah, yeah, okay,
you're a jackass.

355
00:17:10,812 --> 00:17:14,441
Hey, hey, you know what? You're
just as stubborn as your mother.

356
00:17:14,515 --> 00:17:16,142
When you don't want to do
something, you just don't do it.

357
00:17:17,285 --> 00:17:19,116
Michael, you're just her rebound!

358
00:17:19,187 --> 00:17:21,018
You were right, Jim, I
should have listened to you.

359
00:17:21,089 --> 00:17:23,023
Should never
have told her.

360
00:17:23,091 --> 00:17:24,820
What? You knew?

361
00:17:26,394 --> 00:17:29,955
Barely. I... I don't have all the facts.

362
00:17:31,332 --> 00:17:33,197
Frank and Beans.

363
00:17:36,037 --> 00:17:38,835
Okay, do you want me
to stop dating your mom?

364
00:17:38,906 --> 00:17:41,340
Is that how we're going to
get past this? Because I will.

365
00:17:41,409 --> 00:17:43,775
Hmm. Yes.

366
00:17:43,845 --> 00:17:45,244
Well, that is not
going to happen.

367
00:17:45,313 --> 00:17:46,610
Then why did you
even offer?

368
00:17:46,681 --> 00:17:49,548
Because I assumed that
you want me to be happy,

369
00:17:49,617 --> 00:17:52,142
because I want
you to be happy.

370
00:17:52,220 --> 00:17:54,950
Michael, let me make
this very easy for you.

371
00:17:55,022 --> 00:17:59,015
I could give a About your
happiness. Stop dating my mother!

372
00:18:00,695 --> 00:18:02,890
You know what? I'm going to
start dating her even harder.

373
00:18:02,964 --> 00:18:04,124
What's that
supposed to mean?

374
00:18:04,198 --> 00:18:05,631
You know what it means.

375
00:18:11,539 --> 00:18:12,597
Hey.
Shut it.

376
00:18:12,673 --> 00:18:13,833
Yep.

377
00:18:15,009 --> 00:18:17,273
I don't need to be
friends with Pam.

378
00:18:17,345 --> 00:18:19,142
I have plenty of
female friends.

379
00:18:19,213 --> 00:18:25,379
My mom, Pam's mom, my aunt,
although she just blocked me on IM.

380
00:18:26,387 --> 00:18:30,016
What's-her-face from Quiznos.
I see her four times a week.

381
00:18:36,063 --> 00:18:38,122
Dwight, you brought
the mallard back.

382
00:18:38,199 --> 00:18:41,100
Well, I had to.
I mean, Kelly was not...

383
00:18:41,402 --> 00:18:42,767
Hi, buddy.

384
00:18:56,350 --> 00:18:57,817
I'm sorry.
A wooden duck?

385
00:18:57,885 --> 00:19:03,255
Mallard. I put it in your
office in order to surveil you.

386
00:19:04,926 --> 00:19:07,087
I was jealous that you
got the promotion over me.

387
00:19:07,161 --> 00:19:09,925
Okay, just to be clear,
you're terrible at this.

388
00:19:09,997 --> 00:19:11,862
And you're not equipped for
espionage. I'm equipped...

389
00:19:11,933 --> 00:19:13,195
Stop.

390
00:19:14,335 --> 00:19:15,324
Don't tell Michael.

391
00:19:15,403 --> 00:19:16,495
I won't.

392
00:19:16,571 --> 00:19:19,062
But you will wash
and buff our car.

393
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:22,200
Punishment fits the crime. I accept.

394
00:19:23,377 --> 00:19:26,938
Good night, everyone.
Night, Pam.

395
00:19:27,715 --> 00:19:29,842
Thanks again
for the rum.

396
00:19:31,152 --> 00:19:33,882
Good night, Michael.
Good night, Erin.

397
00:19:36,090 --> 00:19:38,752
Hey, Pam, can I see you for a second?

398
00:19:42,597 --> 00:19:45,862
So, Dwight heard you were
having a really rough day,

399
00:19:45,933 --> 00:19:48,731
so he generously
offered to wash our car.

400
00:19:50,304 --> 00:19:51,794
Aw, he did that for me?

401
00:19:51,872 --> 00:19:53,737
Yes, he did.

402
00:19:55,710 --> 00:19:57,507
You know what was nice?

403
00:19:57,578 --> 00:19:59,603
Night swimming in Biobay.

404
00:20:00,214 --> 00:20:02,842
Remember that older couple whose
kids were also named Jim and Pam?

405
00:20:02,917 --> 00:20:04,077
Yeah.

406
00:20:06,988 --> 00:20:08,319
Say more nice things.

407
00:20:08,389 --> 00:20:12,291
Well, we went on a Segway
tour, and we're awesome at it.

408
00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:13,827
Yes, we are.

409
00:20:13,894 --> 00:20:16,226
And Frank and Beans.

410
00:20:19,133 --> 00:20:20,725
Maybe I'm overreacting.

411
00:20:20,801 --> 00:20:22,598
Yeah, maybe.

412
00:20:23,838 --> 00:20:24,862
But I don't think I am.

413
00:20:24,939 --> 00:20:26,839
You're not, nope.

414
00:20:28,009 --> 00:20:29,101
Nope.

415
00:20:32,346 --> 00:20:34,678
Oh! Where did you get that hat?

416
00:20:34,749 --> 00:20:35,943
I'd rather not say.

417
00:20:59,674 --> 00:21:02,438
We have our high
quality 28-pound bond,

418
00:21:02,510 --> 00:21:07,038
our heavier 38-pound bond, or our...

419
00:21:07,882 --> 00:21:09,975
I've got eight
hours of this.

420
00:21:11,952 --> 00:21:15,979
Of course I wanted Jim to find
the mallard. Make him feel safe.

421
00:21:16,057 --> 00:21:19,424
Did you really think I would
put my primary listening device

422
00:21:19,493 --> 00:21:20,960
in a wooden mallard?

423
00:21:22,163 --> 00:21:23,687
I'm not insane.

424
00:21:25,066 --> 00:21:27,796
Fifty-five pound cover
stock, which is the heaviest paper

425
00:21:27,868 --> 00:21:30,063
that will still feed smoothly
through your desktop printer.

426
00:21:30,955 --> 00:21:40,955
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.