1
00:00:03,746 --> 00:00:05,680
You wanted to see me?
Yeah, have a seat.

2
00:00:05,748 --> 00:00:07,238
Is it serious?

3
00:00:09,385 --> 00:00:11,945
Wow. Andy's
a little scared.

4
00:00:12,021 --> 00:00:13,147
Okay, right there.

5
00:00:14,623 --> 00:00:16,386
Right there's the problem.

6
00:00:16,458 --> 00:00:18,892
There have been reports
around the office

7
00:00:18,961 --> 00:00:22,522
that you have been
talking baby talk.

8
00:00:22,598 --> 00:00:23,656
Why would people
say that?

9
00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:29,102
Well, I have it on good authority
that you said the following.

10
00:00:29,371 --> 00:00:30,963
Can you read that
back to me?

11
00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:33,065
"Andy have a boo-boo
tummy." Mmm-hmm.

12
00:00:33,308 --> 00:00:35,776
Would you rather me say,

13
00:00:35,844 --> 00:00:39,803
"Hey, guys, my irritable
bowel syndrome is flaring up."

14
00:00:39,882 --> 00:00:42,112
Okay. "Crazy diarrhea
happening right now."

15
00:00:42,184 --> 00:00:43,913
'Cause things can get
real adult real fast.

16
00:00:43,986 --> 00:00:45,817
You are also on
record as saying,

17
00:00:45,888 --> 00:00:48,118
"Wittle-ittle,
footie-wooties, num-nums,

18
00:00:48,190 --> 00:00:52,092
"jammies, make boom-boom,
widiciwus, and Whode Island."

19
00:00:52,928 --> 00:00:55,362
Do I sometimes
replace Rs with Ws?

20
00:00:55,497 --> 00:00:57,465
Do I sometimes repeat a
word to get my point across?

21
00:00:57,533 --> 00:01:00,593
Well, if I do,
Andy's sowwy.

22
00:01:00,669 --> 00:01:03,661
You can't be a baby
in the office.

23
00:01:03,739 --> 00:01:06,401
It makes me look
like I hire babies.

24
00:01:06,475 --> 00:01:07,567
Well, if we're
complaining,

25
00:01:07,643 --> 00:01:09,577
a lot of people think your
Elvis voice is annoying.

26
00:01:09,645 --> 00:01:10,805
Okay. Who said that?

27
00:01:10,879 --> 00:01:12,039
Just people.

28
00:01:12,114 --> 00:01:15,083
For the record, I think
it's pretty fantastic.

29
00:01:15,150 --> 00:01:17,175
Thank you.
Thank you a lot.

30
00:01:17,820 --> 00:01:19,913
And for what it's worth, I
think your baby voice is tops.

31
00:01:19,988 --> 00:01:21,979
Tank you, Mr. Elvis.

32
00:01:22,057 --> 00:01:23,285
You're welcome, baby.

33
00:01:24,610 --> 00:01:30,684
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org

34
00:01:47,950 --> 00:01:50,180
Dr. Tuna M.D., I have
some terrible news.

35
00:01:50,252 --> 00:01:51,651
Wait, are you the patient
or the doctor?

36
00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:53,517
The entire office
has come down

37
00:01:53,589 --> 00:01:56,251
with a pernicious
case of the Mondays.

38
00:01:56,692 --> 00:01:58,216
Wow. What do you put
our chances at?

39
00:01:58,293 --> 00:01:59,487
0%.

40
00:02:00,028 --> 00:02:04,362
Unless we perform an immediate
emergency morale transplant, stat!

41
00:02:05,167 --> 00:02:06,191
Sounds risky.

42
00:02:06,268 --> 00:02:08,600
Don't worry.
There is a surefire cure.

43
00:02:09,404 --> 00:02:13,306
Employee of the Month. Every
awesome place I've worked had one.

44
00:02:13,509 --> 00:02:17,969
Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers,
AIG, my summer at Enron.

45
00:02:18,814 --> 00:02:21,044
Wow. That's not such a bad idea. Great.

46
00:02:21,116 --> 00:02:22,913
Anything else?
Nope.

47
00:02:26,054 --> 00:02:28,147
"Frankie's Dirty Joke
of the Day."

48
00:02:28,223 --> 00:02:29,815
There's a bunch of those.
Keep.

49
00:02:29,892 --> 00:02:32,417
There's a bunch of sent emails
that just say "delivered."

50
00:02:32,494 --> 00:02:33,586
Should I delete those?

51
00:02:33,662 --> 00:02:36,130
I want to keep those
so I can see what I sent.

52
00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:37,358
That's why you have
a sent mail folder.

53
00:02:37,432 --> 00:02:38,490
Keep.

54
00:02:38,567 --> 00:02:41,536
There's about three news
alerts from Nip Slip.

55
00:02:41,603 --> 00:02:43,400
For what?
Nip Slip.

56
00:02:43,472 --> 00:02:45,599
Okay. I don't know
how those get on there.

57
00:02:45,674 --> 00:02:46,732
Well...

58
00:02:46,808 --> 00:02:48,503
Must be hackers.

59
00:02:48,577 --> 00:02:50,704
Hey, what's up?

60
00:02:51,013 --> 00:02:54,278
What if I told you I had
done the worst thing ever?

61
00:02:54,349 --> 00:02:55,714
Would you still want
to be my friend?

62
00:02:55,784 --> 00:02:56,978
Did you murder someone?

63
00:02:57,052 --> 00:02:58,110
Worse than murder.

64
00:02:58,187 --> 00:02:59,347
Oh, my God.

65
00:02:59,788 --> 00:03:01,119
Lurk much?

66
00:03:02,958 --> 00:03:04,323
I miss Pam.

67
00:03:07,362 --> 00:03:08,386
I think she's okay.

68
00:03:08,463 --> 00:03:11,125
Is that what we're
going for now? "Okay"?

69
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:12,895
We used to go
for "pretty good."

70
00:03:12,968 --> 00:03:14,026
Great.

71
00:03:14,102 --> 00:03:15,569
Hey, how do you feel
about starting

72
00:03:15,637 --> 00:03:17,070
an Employee of
the Month program?

73
00:03:17,139 --> 00:03:20,540
Yeah. You know what, that
actually might make me feel better.

74
00:03:20,609 --> 00:03:21,906
I'm not in this for
the trophies, but...

75
00:03:21,977 --> 00:03:23,001
You're not in it at all

76
00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:24,943
'cause you can't be Employee
of the Month. You're a manager.

77
00:03:25,013 --> 00:03:26,537
Well, technically
I am a co-manager

78
00:03:26,615 --> 00:03:28,446
and I barely have
any responsibilities.

79
00:03:28,517 --> 00:03:30,883
All right. Yeah. But I work
hard, I love this company,

80
00:03:30,953 --> 00:03:33,421
and for those reasons I think I would
make a good Employee of the Month.

81
00:03:33,488 --> 00:03:34,614
It would look bad. Sorry.

82
00:03:34,690 --> 00:03:37,056
It would look good
on my mantle.

83
00:03:37,659 --> 00:03:39,593
Jim's talking to
Michael right now.

84
00:03:39,661 --> 00:03:41,526
They totally
went for our idea!

85
00:03:41,597 --> 00:03:44,122
Yeah! Your idea.

86
00:03:44,233 --> 00:03:45,461
My idea.

87
00:03:45,801 --> 00:03:47,462
I just need Andy to
think it's his idea

88
00:03:47,536 --> 00:03:50,300
so it won't get
traced back to me.

89
00:03:50,839 --> 00:03:55,242
In approximately six hours Jim will
get a phone call from David Wallace.

90
00:03:55,811 --> 00:03:57,142
He will be fired.

91
00:03:57,412 --> 00:04:00,973
Hey, Pam, do you have a sec
to check over this itinerary?

92
00:04:02,184 --> 00:04:03,173
Looks great.

93
00:04:03,252 --> 00:04:06,153
Did you really look it over?
Felt like maybe you didn't.

94
00:04:06,221 --> 00:04:07,347
Okay.

95
00:04:08,624 --> 00:04:11,718
The Michael Scott Foundation
is still in existence.

96
00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:14,660
There you are. I don't think
we have finished with my inbox.

97
00:04:14,730 --> 00:04:16,595
What's "Scott's Tots"?

98
00:04:22,204 --> 00:04:24,331
Has it really
been 10 years?

99
00:04:34,049 --> 00:04:36,176
Michael, why did you
promise that?

100
00:04:36,251 --> 00:04:37,513
To change lives.

101
00:04:37,586 --> 00:04:40,453
No. Michael, why would you promise that?

102
00:04:40,522 --> 00:04:42,114
You know...
Okay. I can't...

103
00:04:42,357 --> 00:04:44,689
Call the school, cancel.
I can't go through with this.

104
00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:46,660
We've already rescheduled seven times.

105
00:04:46,728 --> 00:04:50,289
Michael, this is a terrible,
terrible thing you've done.

106
00:04:50,365 --> 00:04:51,389
Well...

107
00:04:51,466 --> 00:04:54,560
It's terrible.
Just terrible.

108
00:04:55,203 --> 00:04:57,637
And the longer you put it
off, the worse it's gonna get.

109
00:04:57,773 --> 00:05:00,367
I just... I fell in
love with these kids,

110
00:05:00,442 --> 00:05:03,240
and I didn't want to see them
fall victim to the system.

111
00:05:03,312 --> 00:05:04,370
So I made them
a promise.

112
00:05:04,446 --> 00:05:07,347
I told them that if they
graduated from high school,

113
00:05:07,416 --> 00:05:10,510
I would pay for their
college education.

114
00:05:10,585 --> 00:05:14,180
I have made some empty
promises in my life,

115
00:05:14,256 --> 00:05:16,781
but hands down, that
was the most generous.

116
00:05:16,925 --> 00:05:19,120
Just tell me it is going
to be okay, all right?

117
00:05:19,194 --> 00:05:20,218
No!

118
00:05:20,295 --> 00:05:23,128
I'm not a bad-news person.
I bring good news,

119
00:05:23,198 --> 00:05:25,530
like when I promised those
kids I'd pay for college.

120
00:05:26,702 --> 00:05:29,034
Okay. All right.

121
00:05:29,104 --> 00:05:30,435
You have to tell them.

122
00:05:31,373 --> 00:05:35,275
Would you come with me? You know,
like old times? Instead of...

123
00:05:36,445 --> 00:05:39,881
I can print out a new
itinerary with Pam's name on it.

124
00:05:40,382 --> 00:05:42,316
It's fine.
Erin, you're gonna go,

125
00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:44,249
and you're gonna make sure
Michael tells the truth.

126
00:05:44,319 --> 00:05:47,345
Oh, God. You know what?
Could this day get any worse?

127
00:05:48,357 --> 00:05:51,019
Hey, Jimmy, what's up?

128
00:05:51,093 --> 00:05:52,151
Not much.

129
00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:55,390
Cool. Very cool.
I bet if you tried,

130
00:05:55,597 --> 00:05:58,998
you could grow the best beard
of anyone in this office.

131
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:00,227
Thanks, Dwight.

132
00:06:00,302 --> 00:06:01,701
That laugh is
so infectious.

133
00:06:01,770 --> 00:06:04,034
You're creeping me out.
I'm gonna go.

134
00:06:04,106 --> 00:06:06,336
I didn't mean any of
those things I just said.

135
00:06:06,408 --> 00:06:10,003
And you can expect the same
thing from everyone in this office

136
00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:13,377
if you don't nip this whole Employee
of the Month situation in the bud.

137
00:06:13,448 --> 00:06:15,678
Make it about
the work.

138
00:06:15,751 --> 00:06:17,616
Let me guess. You
think you should get it.

139
00:06:18,220 --> 00:06:21,246
This encompasses
all available data.

140
00:06:21,590 --> 00:06:25,890
Hours, tardiness, unconfirmed
sick days, participation.

141
00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:28,722
Everyone has been assigned
a random number

142
00:06:28,797 --> 00:06:31,425
for total fairness
and transparency.

143
00:06:31,867 --> 00:06:34,461
Also, this should be
accompanied by a monetary prize.

144
00:06:34,536 --> 00:06:36,231
Well, in an ideal
world... In an ideal world

145
00:06:36,304 --> 00:06:38,033
I would have all 10
fingers on my left hand,

146
00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:40,040
so my right hand could
just be a fist for punching.

147
00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:41,507
Okay. If it's all
the same to you,

148
00:06:41,576 --> 00:06:44,340
I'm just gonna take away
survival skills and self-defense.

149
00:06:44,413 --> 00:06:46,608
I'm gonna run this
by Toby and Accounting

150
00:06:46,681 --> 00:06:48,171
and have them
assemble the data.

151
00:06:48,250 --> 00:06:50,150
It's okay,
I'll do it.

152
00:06:54,489 --> 00:06:55,820
Mr. Scott?

153
00:06:56,992 --> 00:07:00,052
Hey! Mikela Lasker!
How are you?

154
00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:01,152
I'm good.

155
00:07:01,229 --> 00:07:02,457
Good to see you.
Where's your saxophone?

156
00:07:02,531 --> 00:07:04,123
It's in the music room,
Mr. Scott.

157
00:07:04,199 --> 00:07:06,167
Eighth-grade graduation,
she gave a rendition

158
00:07:06,234 --> 00:07:08,862
of When the Saints Go Marching In
that would blow your freaking mind.

159
00:07:08,937 --> 00:07:09,926
Wow.

160
00:07:10,005 --> 00:07:11,029
Well, you didn't
even hear it.

161
00:07:11,106 --> 00:07:13,131
Everyone's so excited
that you're here today.

162
00:07:13,208 --> 00:07:14,197
Oh, good.
Now,

163
00:07:14,276 --> 00:07:16,176
I know you probably
want to see everyone,

164
00:07:16,244 --> 00:07:18,508
but I was wondering if I could
ask you some questions first.

165
00:07:18,580 --> 00:07:19,979
Sure.
You're famous.

166
00:07:20,048 --> 00:07:22,380
I'm sure you remember
this place. Oh, yeah.

167
00:07:22,451 --> 00:07:23,475
Do you want to go in?

168
00:07:23,552 --> 00:07:24,780
No, not at all.
Nope. Come on.

169
00:07:27,556 --> 00:07:29,251
You know what? You know,
I shouldn't go in there.

170
00:07:29,324 --> 00:07:30,586
I'm pretty busy.
I shouldn't...

171
00:07:30,659 --> 00:07:33,127
We just want
to say thanks.

172
00:07:37,466 --> 00:07:41,596
Mr. Scott!
Mr. Scott! Mr. Scott!

173
00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:42,659
Mr. Scott!

174
00:07:43,572 --> 00:07:45,972
Mr. Scott,
I know you're a busy man

175
00:07:46,041 --> 00:07:47,872
and your schedule
moves around a lot,

176
00:07:48,143 --> 00:07:51,738
but for all your generosity
through the years, your tots,

177
00:07:52,113 --> 00:07:53,637
who are ready
to graduate,

178
00:07:53,715 --> 00:07:56,980
thought it was time to
give you a proper thank you.

179
00:08:04,292 --> 00:08:06,692
Hey, Mr. Scott,
what you gonna do

180
00:08:06,795 --> 00:08:09,229
What you gonna do
Make our dreams come true

181
00:08:09,297 --> 00:08:11,765
Hey, Mr. Scott,
what you gonna do

182
00:08:11,833 --> 00:08:14,131
What you gonna do
Make our dreams come true

183
00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:17,035
You came into our lives and made
a promise That made us honest

184
00:08:17,105 --> 00:08:20,040
Made us realize
We don't need to compromise

185
00:08:20,108 --> 00:08:21,666
'Cause we can have it all

186
00:08:21,743 --> 00:08:26,077
'Cause you made it possible
For us to achieve the improbable

187
00:08:26,147 --> 00:08:29,275
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey

188
00:08:29,351 --> 00:08:31,751
Hey, Mr. Scott,
what you gonna do

189
00:08:31,820 --> 00:08:34,812
What you gonna do
Make our dreams come true

190
00:08:35,690 --> 00:08:36,748
Wow!

191
00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:49,058
Hey. So Jim thought
it would be ideal...

192
00:08:49,137 --> 00:08:51,469
Hey.
if we all pitched in...

193
00:08:51,773 --> 00:08:53,263
So, Jim thought
it would be ideal

194
00:08:53,341 --> 00:08:57,277
if we all pitched in a 20 for this
whole Employee of the Month thing.

195
00:08:57,345 --> 00:08:58,505
Jim said that?

196
00:08:58,580 --> 00:09:01,572
He thought you were doing
an incredible job last month.

197
00:09:01,650 --> 00:09:03,083
Jim said that?

198
00:09:03,151 --> 00:09:04,277
You seem surprised.

199
00:09:04,686 --> 00:09:06,984
No, no, that makes
total sense.

200
00:09:11,826 --> 00:09:14,761
Hey, buddy.
So everyone...

201
00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:21,258
Five minutes ahead of
schedule. Right on schedule.

202
00:09:21,937 --> 00:09:23,928
Politicians are
always coming around,

203
00:09:24,005 --> 00:09:28,066
telling us they're gonna fix our
schools, promising this and that.

204
00:09:28,810 --> 00:09:33,076
But you, Mr. Scott,
you are actually doing it!

205
00:09:33,415 --> 00:09:37,681
You have taught these kids, with
hard work, that anything is possible.

206
00:09:38,086 --> 00:09:41,419
You are a dream maker,
and I thank you.

207
00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:46,120
I thank you. I thank you,
I thank you, I thank you.

208
00:09:51,499 --> 00:09:53,228
There were a lot of
times over the years

209
00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:55,394
where I was pressured
to get into the drug game.

210
00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:58,462
But I always thought back
to my guardian angel

211
00:09:59,074 --> 00:10:00,803
and the gift
that you gave me.

212
00:10:00,875 --> 00:10:03,844
So I just want to thank you
for giving me the opportunity

213
00:10:03,912 --> 00:10:06,312
to go to college,
educate myself,

214
00:10:06,381 --> 00:10:08,542
and become
the next President Obama.

215
00:10:08,617 --> 00:10:10,346
Oh, God.

216
00:10:16,024 --> 00:10:17,992
Okay, ladies and
gentlemen, welcome.

217
00:10:18,059 --> 00:10:21,392
I know you're all very excited,
but no matter who gets this,

218
00:10:21,463 --> 00:10:23,328
I just want to say
that you guys are all

219
00:10:23,398 --> 00:10:24,922
Employees of the Month
in my eyes.

220
00:10:26,768 --> 00:10:30,602
And the winner is employee
number nine, and that is...

221
00:10:31,473 --> 00:10:35,466
Number nine,
number nine, Jim Halpert.

222
00:10:35,543 --> 00:10:36,669
- What?
- What?

223
00:10:36,745 --> 00:10:38,679
Are you kidding me?
Oh, no.

224
00:10:38,747 --> 00:10:41,215
Okay, wait.
I was not...

225
00:10:42,283 --> 00:10:44,046
I did not get...

226
00:10:44,119 --> 00:10:46,747
"I did not...
That was not...

227
00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:48,713
"How come not..."

228
00:10:48,790 --> 00:10:49,882
Guys, listen.

229
00:10:49,958 --> 00:10:51,482
This was anonymous,
all right?

230
00:10:51,559 --> 00:10:53,254
There's no way I could
have given it to myself,

231
00:10:53,328 --> 00:10:55,523
because I didn't even know
who was on here.

232
00:10:55,597 --> 00:10:57,690
I just gave it to the employee
with the highest overall score.

233
00:10:57,766 --> 00:11:00,667
To my tally, you just won
back your own parking spot,

234
00:11:00,735 --> 00:11:04,569
a vacation day, and a nice tidy
quarter of $1,000 from all of us.

235
00:11:04,639 --> 00:11:06,106
Will everybody just
stop for a second?

236
00:11:06,174 --> 00:11:07,732
'Cause obviously I'm
not taking any of it.

237
00:11:07,809 --> 00:11:09,800
A mistake has been made
and we'll figure it out.

238
00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:11,470
Second of all,
there was no cash prize.

239
00:11:11,546 --> 00:11:12,570
Yes!

240
00:11:12,647 --> 00:11:13,875
Dwight?
Yeah, you said,

241
00:11:13,948 --> 00:11:15,643
"In an ideal world, there
would be a cash prize."

242
00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:17,617
Isn't that what you
said? No, Dwight, I meant,

243
00:11:17,686 --> 00:11:20,348
yes, in a perfect world, someone
would get money, but not...

244
00:11:20,422 --> 00:11:23,755
Yeah, but, in your perfect
world, only you get money.

245
00:11:23,825 --> 00:11:25,520
- Yeah, that's...
- Don't do this...

246
00:11:25,593 --> 00:11:27,527
I know, all right? Don't do...

247
00:11:27,595 --> 00:11:30,723
Let's put your hands together
and give a warm welcome

248
00:11:30,799 --> 00:11:33,700
for the man of the hour,
Mr. Michael Scott.

249
00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:40,371
Thank you.

250
00:11:44,312 --> 00:11:46,177
All right. Wow.

251
00:11:48,083 --> 00:11:51,348
I am never going to
forget today. Not a chance.

252
00:11:51,886 --> 00:11:55,845
I don't think I could ever give back
to you what you have given me today.

253
00:11:55,924 --> 00:11:58,688
Who here's done something
stupid in their lives?

254
00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,853
Like skipped out
on study hall

255
00:12:00,929 --> 00:12:02,988
or mix up the difference
between A gym and B gym,

256
00:12:03,064 --> 00:12:04,463
that sort of thing?
Show of hands.

257
00:12:04,532 --> 00:12:07,023
Anybody? Yes,
a bunch of you. Okay.

258
00:12:07,102 --> 00:12:11,471
Well, me, too. I've done something
stupid, which I would like to share.

259
00:12:11,740 --> 00:12:12,866
Um...

260
00:12:16,010 --> 00:12:17,136
Should we go?

261
00:12:17,212 --> 00:12:19,578
No, no, we're okay.
It's a double period.

262
00:12:20,849 --> 00:12:24,717
All right. I came here today
because I promised you tuition,

263
00:12:25,220 --> 00:12:26,949
and tuition is
very valuable.

264
00:12:27,021 --> 00:12:29,751
But you know
what's invaluable?

265
00:12:29,824 --> 00:12:32,088
Is intuition.
You know what that is?

266
00:12:32,694 --> 00:12:36,528
That is the ability to know when
something is about to happen.

267
00:12:38,199 --> 00:12:40,190
Does anybody out there
have intuition?

268
00:12:40,268 --> 00:12:42,361
Know what's gonna
happen next?

269
00:12:42,437 --> 00:12:45,235
Nobody? Okay. You're
gonna make me say it.

270
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:49,599
All right. I am so proud of all of you.

271
00:12:51,446 --> 00:12:55,280
Derrick and Lefervre
and Ben and Ayana

272
00:12:55,350 --> 00:12:59,446
and Mikela and Nikki
and Jason and...

273
00:12:59,888 --> 00:13:02,413
I'm sorry, okay, I'm
sort of spacing your name.

274
00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:04,583
I'm Zion. I'm Mikela's younger brother.

275
00:13:04,659 --> 00:13:07,321
Well, Zion, I am not going
to be paying for your tuition.

276
00:13:11,032 --> 00:13:12,499
Which brings me
to my main point,

277
00:13:12,567 --> 00:13:16,298
and that is that I will not be
able to pay for anybody's tuition.

278
00:13:18,706 --> 00:13:20,333
I'm so, so sorry.

279
00:13:23,211 --> 00:13:24,235
- What?
- You're kidding.

280
00:13:24,312 --> 00:13:25,643
Excuse me?

281
00:13:31,152 --> 00:13:32,483
I'm sorry.

282
00:13:33,822 --> 00:13:36,347
Explain yourself, sir!

283
00:13:36,424 --> 00:13:38,392
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

284
00:13:38,726 --> 00:13:39,750
I'm so sorry.

285
00:13:39,828 --> 00:13:40,954
You lied to us.

286
00:13:41,763 --> 00:13:45,824
Yep. I lied to myself, too.
I'm not a millionaire.

287
00:13:46,801 --> 00:13:50,032
I thought I would be by the time
I was 30, but I wasn't even close,

288
00:13:50,104 --> 00:13:52,470
and then I thought maybe
by the time I was 40,

289
00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:55,407
but by 40 I had less
money than when I was 30.

290
00:13:55,476 --> 00:13:57,103
Maybe by my 50s,
I don't know.

291
00:13:57,178 --> 00:14:00,306
I wanted to pay
for your education.

292
00:14:01,249 --> 00:14:04,184
I really did.
It was my dream.

293
00:14:04,986 --> 00:14:08,922
Some people have evil dreams,
some people have selfish dreams,

294
00:14:09,123 --> 00:14:12,092
or wet dreams. My dream
was in the right place.

295
00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:13,559
You owe this to us.

296
00:14:13,628 --> 00:14:15,425
Okay, hold on. Hold on.

297
00:14:16,698 --> 00:14:19,724
Now, I can't pay
for your college,

298
00:14:20,301 --> 00:14:24,761
but you don't have to go
to class to be in class.

299
00:14:25,974 --> 00:14:28,875
Online courses
are a viable option

300
00:14:28,943 --> 00:14:30,934
to a traditional
college experience,

301
00:14:31,346 --> 00:14:33,610
and the best way to
access those courses

302
00:14:33,681 --> 00:14:36,741
is with your own
personal laptop,

303
00:14:37,886 --> 00:14:41,049
which is rendered
useless without batteries,

304
00:14:41,122 --> 00:14:42,646
and I have one
for each of you.

305
00:14:48,196 --> 00:14:51,996
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold
on, hold on. They're lithium.

306
00:14:56,838 --> 00:15:00,865
Look, there was a big mistake,
obviously, so I will fix it. Okay?

307
00:15:01,809 --> 00:15:03,071
This was
your idea anyway.

308
00:15:03,144 --> 00:15:05,977
Correction.
It was my idea.

309
00:15:06,047 --> 00:15:07,139
Okay.

310
00:15:07,348 --> 00:15:08,576
My idea.

311
00:15:08,983 --> 00:15:11,611
Guys, I'm starting to think
Pam's not even pregnant.

312
00:15:11,686 --> 00:15:14,917
Okay, for the record,
I am pregnant,

313
00:15:14,989 --> 00:15:17,583
and obviously there's been
some kind of a mistake,

314
00:15:17,659 --> 00:15:21,493
so why doesn't Jim just pick the
next highest score on the list

315
00:15:21,562 --> 00:15:22,927
and we'll move on.

316
00:15:22,997 --> 00:15:24,521
Yeah, okay.
That's fair.

317
00:15:24,599 --> 00:15:26,567
Excellent idea, Pam.
Thank you.

318
00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:30,661
That would be employee
number three, which is...

319
00:15:30,939 --> 00:15:32,463
Son of a bitch!

320
00:15:33,441 --> 00:15:35,170
Pam Halpert.
- What?

321
00:15:36,044 --> 00:15:37,875
How is that possible?

322
00:15:37,946 --> 00:15:41,006
No offense, Pam, but how
the hell is that possible?

323
00:15:41,149 --> 00:15:44,414
There must be some reasonable
explanation for this.

324
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:47,249
Wait, come on.
I didn't miss a day,

325
00:15:47,322 --> 00:15:49,119
I came in early,
I stayed late,

326
00:15:49,324 --> 00:15:51,121
and I doubled my
sales last month.

327
00:15:51,192 --> 00:15:53,353
Oh, really? From what? Two to four?

328
00:15:53,428 --> 00:15:54,486
Yep.

329
00:15:54,595 --> 00:15:57,496
Guys, this isn't some
elaborate scam, okay?

330
00:15:57,832 --> 00:16:01,359
Hi, I have an order here for
a custom cake. Jim Halpert.

331
00:16:01,602 --> 00:16:04,935
Okay. That is me, but
I didn't order the cake.

332
00:16:06,140 --> 00:16:07,903
Look who it is.

333
00:16:11,212 --> 00:16:12,679
He knew all along.

334
00:16:12,747 --> 00:16:14,112
I'm gonna
have some cake.

335
00:16:14,182 --> 00:16:15,274
David Wallace's office.

336
00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:18,319
This is Kevin Malone.
Is David there?

337
00:16:18,953 --> 00:16:21,615
No, he's in his weekly staff
meeting. Can I take a message?

338
00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:27,924
Tell him I'm mad at Jim 'cause
he's asking us to give money to Pam.

339
00:16:28,262 --> 00:16:33,632
This is Stanley Hudson.
Jim Halpert is a menace.

340
00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:38,968
It's Toby Flenderson. Listen, things
are getting really bad down here.

341
00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:45,736
Hey, Mr. Scott.

342
00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:51,014
Erin, can you
give us a second?

343
00:16:51,886 --> 00:16:52,978
That was messed up
what you did.

344
00:16:53,054 --> 00:16:54,578
Yeah, yeah,
I know. I know.

345
00:16:54,655 --> 00:16:55,883
I know, I'm sorry.

346
00:16:55,957 --> 00:16:57,652
Who does something
like that?

347
00:16:57,725 --> 00:16:59,522
Who promises that
to a bunch of kids

348
00:16:59,594 --> 00:17:02,529
and then just doesn't
come through like that?

349
00:17:03,798 --> 00:17:04,890
What can I do?

350
00:17:04,966 --> 00:17:06,558
You could pay
for my college.

351
00:17:06,634 --> 00:17:10,468
I can give you an extra laptop
battery. Not everyone took one.

352
00:17:14,776 --> 00:17:16,300
How about this?

353
00:17:16,944 --> 00:17:22,041
If you can find a way to pay for your
tuition, let me buy your books, okay?

354
00:17:22,116 --> 00:17:23,174
They're expensive.

355
00:17:23,251 --> 00:17:26,220
Yeah, well, I owe you
that at least, right?

356
00:17:26,554 --> 00:17:28,021
It's about $1,000.

357
00:17:28,089 --> 00:17:30,148
Really? Wow.

358
00:17:31,426 --> 00:17:32,791
That's over $200 a year.

359
00:17:32,860 --> 00:17:34,760
No, $1,000 each year.

360
00:17:34,829 --> 00:17:37,491
For... Okay. Okay.

361
00:17:39,133 --> 00:17:42,694
Here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna
write four checks for $1,000 each.

362
00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:44,931
I'm going to date them
one year apart.

363
00:17:45,006 --> 00:17:47,099
Now, you are to use
one check a year,

364
00:17:47,175 --> 00:17:49,336
and please call me
before you cash the check,

365
00:17:49,410 --> 00:17:51,640
'cause I've got monies to
move around. Yeah, yeah.

366
00:17:51,712 --> 00:17:54,203
Okay? Make it out to my Aunt Rosa.

367
00:17:55,183 --> 00:17:57,083
That's a lot of zeroes.

368
00:18:00,088 --> 00:18:01,112
This is Jim.

369
00:18:01,189 --> 00:18:02,520
Jim, what the hell
is happening there?

370
00:18:02,590 --> 00:18:04,581
Hey, David.
Yes?

371
00:18:04,926 --> 00:18:08,020
So, there was a little bit of
a miscommunication here today.

372
00:18:08,096 --> 00:18:10,724
It's been a little wild,
but I am on it.

373
00:18:10,798 --> 00:18:13,858
Just so I understand, you
started Employee of the Month,

374
00:18:13,935 --> 00:18:15,425
give it to yourself,

375
00:18:15,503 --> 00:18:17,767
then people complain, so
you give it to your wife?

376
00:18:17,839 --> 00:18:19,238
No.
Am I missing something?

377
00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:20,968
I really don't know
how it happened, David.

378
00:18:21,042 --> 00:18:22,942
I know how it happened.

379
00:18:30,418 --> 00:18:33,046
Jim, I bumped you up because I
thought you could make my life easier.

380
00:18:33,121 --> 00:18:36,887
If you can't do that, we're
gonna have a separate discussion.

381
00:18:36,958 --> 00:18:40,052
All right, it will
not happen again. I promise.

382
00:18:41,629 --> 00:18:44,621
I am sorry. I am taking this out on you.

383
00:18:46,267 --> 00:18:47,495
No. But things have been crazy here.

384
00:18:47,568 --> 00:18:49,661
You know I think you're
doing a great job, right?

385
00:18:49,737 --> 00:18:52,069
What? No.
Yeah. Thank you.

386
00:18:52,707 --> 00:18:55,767
Okay. We still
on for dinner this weekend?

387
00:18:55,843 --> 00:18:57,105
What?
Yes.

388
00:18:57,178 --> 00:18:59,669
Okay. See you.
You're kidding me!

389
00:19:00,114 --> 00:19:01,342
Damn it!

390
00:19:02,150 --> 00:19:04,675
Hey, Mr. Scott,
what you gonna do

391
00:19:04,752 --> 00:19:07,380
What you gonna do
Make our dreams come true

392
00:19:07,455 --> 00:19:10,151
Hey, Mr. Scott,
what you gonna do

393
00:19:10,224 --> 00:19:11,623
Please stop.

394
00:19:13,161 --> 00:19:15,527
Fifteen lives.

395
00:19:17,098 --> 00:19:19,191
I destroyed
15 young lives today.

396
00:19:19,267 --> 00:19:20,734
No.
Yes.

397
00:19:21,969 --> 00:19:23,994
No, there's
financial aid.

398
00:19:26,174 --> 00:19:28,267
They could join
the Army or the Navy.

399
00:19:28,342 --> 00:19:30,708
Maybe...
You're, what, like, 12?

400
00:19:35,683 --> 00:19:37,947
The principal
told me that

401
00:19:38,019 --> 00:19:40,715
90% of Scott's Tots are
on track to graduate,

402
00:19:40,788 --> 00:19:43,985
and that's 35% higher
than the rest of the school,

403
00:19:44,926 --> 00:19:47,087
so I think that if you
hadn't made that promise,

404
00:19:47,161 --> 00:19:49,595
a lot of them
would have dropped out,

405
00:19:49,664 --> 00:19:52,030
which is something to
think about, I think.

406
00:20:01,409 --> 00:20:03,741
I think you're
doing a great job.

407
00:20:04,445 --> 00:20:05,742
Really?

408
00:20:08,749 --> 00:20:09,943
What do you want
from this job,

409
00:20:10,017 --> 00:20:13,282
provided the company
doesn't go out of business?

410
00:20:13,354 --> 00:20:16,084
Well, I've always wondered what it
might be like to be an accountant.

411
00:20:16,157 --> 00:20:17,215
Really?

412
00:20:17,291 --> 00:20:18,656
Yes, but I'm
terrible at math.

413
00:20:18,726 --> 00:20:21,354
Well, you know,
when I hired Kevin,

414
00:20:21,862 --> 00:20:25,161
he was actually applying
for a job in the warehouse.

415
00:20:25,700 --> 00:20:27,327
Seriously?
Yeah.

416
00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:30,631
I just sort of had
a feeling about him.

417
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:34,670
Have a feeling
about you, too.

418
00:20:37,812 --> 00:20:40,542
Hey, Mr. Scott,
what you gonna do

419
00:20:40,615 --> 00:20:43,550
What you gonna do
Make our dreams come true

420
00:20:43,618 --> 00:20:46,485
Hey, Mr. Scott,
what you gonna do

421
00:20:46,554 --> 00:20:48,988
What you gonna do
Make our dreams come true

422
00:20:49,056 --> 00:20:50,045
Yeah!

423
00:20:53,594 --> 00:20:55,585
See you
tomorrow, Dwight.

424
00:20:55,663 --> 00:20:57,062
Apparently.

425
00:20:57,932 --> 00:21:00,730
How's it going? Good day? Not now, temp.

426
00:21:01,002 --> 00:21:06,565
Okay. So, listen, I know
about your diabolical plan.

427
00:21:08,709 --> 00:21:13,237
What? Diabolical plan? I
wouldn't even know how to begin...

428
00:21:13,981 --> 00:21:16,745
I found a copy of it
in the copier tray.

429
00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:18,512
So what do you want?

430
00:21:18,586 --> 00:21:20,247
I want the same thing
you want.

431
00:21:20,321 --> 00:21:23,916
I want to take Jim
Halpert down. I want in.

432
00:21:24,915 --> 00:21:34,915
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.