1
00:00:02,077 --> 00:00:05,103
Attention, everyone!
Jim and I, on behalf

2
00:00:05,180 --> 00:00:06,442
of the Party Planning
Committee have an...

3
00:00:06,515 --> 00:00:07,982
Too loud.
Too, too loud. Too loud.

4
00:00:08,050 --> 00:00:12,419
But effective. Look. On behalf
of Jim and I, Merry Christmas.

5
00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:15,315
Merry Christmas.

6
00:00:15,391 --> 00:00:16,688
Merry Christmas. Good.

7
00:00:16,759 --> 00:00:19,694
My diabolical plot is
on hold for Christmas.

8
00:00:20,229 --> 00:00:24,029
My heart just melts with the
sound of children singing.

9
00:00:27,503 --> 00:00:31,439
Not really. I'm just tired. The
days are short. I don't know.

10
00:00:31,907 --> 00:00:33,670
Maybe I'm depressed.

11
00:00:34,076 --> 00:00:35,703
It is time to
unveil the tree.

12
00:00:35,778 --> 00:00:36,938
Hey, Rockefeller Center!

13
00:00:37,012 --> 00:00:38,104
Yeah.

14
00:00:38,180 --> 00:00:39,545
Uh, I've actually
been to Rock Center

15
00:00:39,615 --> 00:00:40,673
and this is
nothing like that.

16
00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:42,216
This is all we have.
Ugh!

17
00:00:42,284 --> 00:00:43,683
Nope, it's not "ugh."

18
00:00:44,319 --> 00:00:45,980
It is office camaraderie.

19
00:00:46,055 --> 00:00:47,249
It is warm feelings.

20
00:00:47,322 --> 00:00:49,119
Why don't we talk more
about it instead of doing it?

21
00:00:49,191 --> 00:00:51,887
Thirty, 29, 28...

22
00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:53,359
Why would you start so high? 27...

23
00:00:53,429 --> 00:00:54,418
Three, two, one.

24
00:00:54,496 --> 00:00:55,485
26...

25
00:00:55,664 --> 00:00:56,722
Ooh!

26
00:00:56,799 --> 00:00:57,993
You didn't decorate it.

27
00:00:58,067 --> 00:00:59,056
No.
Exactly.

28
00:00:59,134 --> 00:01:02,194
We didn't, because we think it
would be better to do it together.

29
00:01:02,271 --> 00:01:04,136
Everyone. Why would
you wrap it in a sheet

30
00:01:04,206 --> 00:01:06,265
if you're not
covering anything up?

31
00:01:06,341 --> 00:01:08,241
Is... Is it fake?
Pam.

32
00:01:08,444 --> 00:01:13,472
Yes! We are unveiling an
artificial tree that will never die.

33
00:01:13,549 --> 00:01:14,538
Yes.

34
00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:15,742
Like the spirit
of Christmas.

35
00:01:15,818 --> 00:01:17,046
And we're supposed
to applaud you

36
00:01:17,119 --> 00:01:19,110
for taking a giant
diaper off a fake tree?

37
00:01:19,188 --> 00:01:22,351
This was a successful
unveiling! Go back to work!

38
00:01:22,491 --> 00:01:24,083
Merry Christmas.

39
00:01:25,610 --> 00:01:31,684
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

40
00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:47,947
Hello. Sorry, guys.
Sorry, guys.

41
00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:51,085
I'm not sure I've earned the
right to make announcements yet,

42
00:01:51,153 --> 00:01:53,519
but whoever is giving me
the 12 Days of Christmas

43
00:01:53,589 --> 00:01:55,386
as my Secret Santa,

44
00:01:55,724 --> 00:02:01,287
please stop. I can't take it
anymore. My cat killed a turtledove.

45
00:02:01,563 --> 00:02:04,999
The French hens have started
pulling out my hair to make a nest.

46
00:02:05,067 --> 00:02:06,728
Please stop.

47
00:02:06,802 --> 00:02:08,827
What psycho would
send that as a gift?

48
00:02:12,875 --> 00:02:15,901
I begged Dwight and Jim to
give me Erin for Secret Santa,

49
00:02:15,978 --> 00:02:18,310
and I decided to give Erin
the 12 Days of Christmas.

50
00:02:18,380 --> 00:02:19,540
Bowtie time.

51
00:02:19,615 --> 00:02:23,608
Is it my fault that the first eight
days there's basically 30 birds?

52
00:02:24,052 --> 00:02:25,349
Ho! Ho! Ho!

53
00:02:25,420 --> 00:02:30,084
Merry Christmas, boys and
girls. It's me, Santa Claus.

54
00:02:30,259 --> 00:02:31,624
Hey, Santa.

55
00:02:31,894 --> 00:02:33,384
They finally let you do it. Yeah.

56
00:02:33,462 --> 00:02:34,554
Congrats, Phyl.

57
00:02:34,630 --> 00:02:35,688
It's so edgy.

58
00:02:35,764 --> 00:02:37,994
I have been wanting
to be Santa for years.

59
00:02:38,066 --> 00:02:40,057
I believe I have
the right temperament

60
00:02:40,135 --> 00:02:42,069
and the figure to
do the job well.

61
00:02:42,137 --> 00:02:46,403
I slipped a note to Jim 11 weeks
ago, and he said I could do it.

62
00:02:49,645 --> 00:02:51,636
It's been a long journey.

63
00:02:54,416 --> 00:02:56,213
But I'm Santa Claus!

64
00:02:57,619 --> 00:03:00,383
So, Santa, what can we
expect from this party?

65
00:03:00,455 --> 00:03:03,549
It's going to be a very jolly
time if you've been good.

66
00:03:03,625 --> 00:03:04,956
What if you've been bad?

67
00:03:05,027 --> 00:03:06,961
Then nothing but
a lump of coal for you.

68
00:03:07,029 --> 00:03:08,792
What if you've been
really, really bad?

69
00:03:08,864 --> 00:03:11,094
More evil than
strictly wrong.

70
00:03:11,166 --> 00:03:13,657
Hey, Creed? We covered it. Lump of coal.

71
00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:14,793
Yeah.

72
00:03:15,070 --> 00:03:16,094
For the past several weeks,

73
00:03:16,171 --> 00:03:19,038
my Secret Santa has been
giving me pieces of a machine

74
00:03:19,107 --> 00:03:20,768
that I've been
attempting to assemble.

75
00:03:20,842 --> 00:03:24,835
I'm suspicious of this, because
I had the exact same idea

76
00:03:25,113 --> 00:03:27,308
for catching Osama bin Laden.

77
00:03:27,416 --> 00:03:30,681
I would simply send him
a different piece each day.

78
00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:33,479
He would assemble
it to find himself

79
00:03:34,122 --> 00:03:35,350
in jail!

80
00:03:37,025 --> 00:03:39,220
You know, Oscar, every
time I make this lasagna

81
00:03:39,294 --> 00:03:41,558
people ask me if
it's a family recipe,

82
00:03:41,630 --> 00:03:44,827
but really, I just get
the recipe from the box.

83
00:03:45,734 --> 00:03:47,065
That's funny.

84
00:03:47,135 --> 00:03:50,832
Is it funny? I thought it was
more interesting than funny.

85
00:03:56,812 --> 00:03:58,507
I think my water
just broke.

86
00:03:58,580 --> 00:03:59,911
That's too funny.

87
00:04:00,215 --> 00:04:02,342
Oscar and
the warehouse guy.

88
00:04:02,684 --> 00:04:05,710
Go, Oscar!
Go, gay warehouse guy!

89
00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:09,082
Here's Santa!

90
00:04:09,558 --> 00:04:12,891
Hey, little girl, what
would you like for Christmas?

91
00:04:13,061 --> 00:04:16,827
Ooh! You have been a very
naughty girl, I see.

92
00:04:16,898 --> 00:04:19,025
Michael, we already
have a Santa. Phyllis.

93
00:04:19,434 --> 00:04:21,459
What the hell is going on?

94
00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:25,269
Phyllis, Jim?
Phyllis is Santa?

95
00:04:25,607 --> 00:04:26,665
Yeah.
Phyllis.

96
00:04:26,742 --> 00:04:28,209
Yeah. I told her a long
time ago she could do it.

97
00:04:28,277 --> 00:04:29,437
Take it back.
That is absurd.

98
00:04:29,511 --> 00:04:30,569
No. I'm not gonna do that.

99
00:04:30,646 --> 00:04:32,113
No, Jim, come on!

100
00:04:32,180 --> 00:04:33,340
I think she's
doing a good job.

101
00:04:33,415 --> 00:04:36,111
It's insane! A woman
Santa? Where does it stop?

102
00:04:36,184 --> 00:04:39,745
No! Jim, this may be the last
Christmas that we have here.

103
00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:42,585
Doesn't it make you
a tiny bit anxious,

104
00:04:42,658 --> 00:04:44,990
me not playing Santa?
Come on!

105
00:04:45,927 --> 00:04:47,895
I'm not gonna go tell Phyllis
that she can't be Santa.

106
00:04:47,963 --> 00:04:51,660
Fine. Then do it anonymously.
Ransom-note style. You can...

107
00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:54,059
You know what?
I have a bunch of letters

108
00:04:54,136 --> 00:04:55,626
cut out of magazines
in my desk.

109
00:04:55,704 --> 00:04:56,728
You can use those.

110
00:04:56,805 --> 00:04:58,397
If this were Russia,
yeah, sure,

111
00:04:58,473 --> 00:04:59,997
everybody would
go to one Santa,

112
00:05:00,075 --> 00:05:02,009
and there would be
a line around the block,

113
00:05:02,077 --> 00:05:03,305
and once
you sat on her lap

114
00:05:03,378 --> 00:05:04,470
and she asked you
what you wanted,

115
00:05:04,546 --> 00:05:06,946
you would say,
probably, freedom,

116
00:05:07,082 --> 00:05:10,643
at which point the KGB would
arrest you and send you to Siberia.

117
00:05:10,719 --> 00:05:13,449
It's a good thing
Russia doesn't exist anymore.

118
00:05:13,522 --> 00:05:17,014
Ho! Ho! Ho!
Ho! Ho! Ho!

119
00:05:17,392 --> 00:05:22,762
Why pay more to sit next to
old Trannie Claus over there

120
00:05:22,831 --> 00:05:24,731
when you can sit on my lap?

121
00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:29,362
Phyllis is only pretending to
be a man. I'm the real thing!

122
00:05:29,805 --> 00:05:32,273
Sit down on my lap
and there will be no doubt!

123
00:05:32,341 --> 00:05:33,365
Okay.
Okay.

124
00:05:33,442 --> 00:05:36,002
No, it's not,
like, penis-wise.

125
00:05:36,078 --> 00:05:38,273
Hello, little boy!
What's your name?

126
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:40,875
Michael, it's me, Kevin.

127
00:05:40,949 --> 00:05:42,917
Phyllis says
I'm too big for her lap.

128
00:05:42,984 --> 00:05:48,889
Oh, I am so sorry that Phyllis
hates you and hates your body,

129
00:05:49,424 --> 00:05:51,790
but Santa
remembers a reindeer

130
00:05:51,860 --> 00:05:55,091
that was just a tiny
bit different as well.

131
00:05:55,163 --> 00:05:56,755
When can I sit on your lap?

132
00:05:56,832 --> 00:05:59,460
Right now!
Come on over here, big boy!

133
00:06:00,702 --> 00:06:02,863
There we go! Oh, my God.

134
00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:06,431
That's really comfortable.

135
00:06:08,477 --> 00:06:11,469
What would you like for
Christmas, little boy?

136
00:06:13,582 --> 00:06:16,915
I don't know. I didn't know
you were gonna ask me that.

137
00:06:16,985 --> 00:06:19,385
Well, what did you think
was going to happen?

138
00:06:19,454 --> 00:06:23,413
I didn't know. Nobody's ever
let me sit on their lap before.

139
00:06:23,492 --> 00:06:25,983
All right,
just say some toys, please.

140
00:06:26,061 --> 00:06:27,756
Can you give me some choices?

141
00:06:27,996 --> 00:06:30,021
'Cause I really don't want
to mess up on this list.

142
00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:32,066
Damn it, Kevin. Come on.

143
00:06:32,701 --> 00:06:35,329
What about if I tell you
the things I don't want?

144
00:06:35,404 --> 00:06:37,531
Okay, get off!
Get off! Off!

145
00:06:38,974 --> 00:06:40,942
Oh, God!

146
00:06:41,009 --> 00:06:42,943
I didn't even get to
tell you what I wanted.

147
00:06:43,011 --> 00:06:44,535
Okay, you know what you get?

148
00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:46,911
You get a thousand helium
balloons attached to you

149
00:06:46,982 --> 00:06:50,042
so Santa doesn't have
to go through this again.

150
00:06:50,485 --> 00:06:51,611
Awesome.

151
00:06:52,154 --> 00:06:53,212
Well?

152
00:06:53,288 --> 00:06:54,949
I'm trying, Phyllis.
You're Santa.

153
00:06:55,090 --> 00:06:57,058
The only Santa.
That's what I want.

154
00:06:57,125 --> 00:07:00,492
You promised me this. Don't
make me get Bob involved.

155
00:07:00,829 --> 00:07:02,194
What would Bob do?

156
00:07:02,264 --> 00:07:04,562
Never mind.
I shouldn't have said that.

157
00:07:05,333 --> 00:07:06,527
Does it hurt?

158
00:07:06,601 --> 00:07:07,727
It stings a lot.

159
00:07:08,470 --> 00:07:09,459
Hmm.

160
00:07:09,571 --> 00:07:12,131
I keep trying to figure out
who's sending me these gifts.

161
00:07:12,207 --> 00:07:13,299
I know, right?

162
00:07:13,375 --> 00:07:15,309
So far no one
will admit to it.

163
00:07:15,377 --> 00:07:17,072
Is it you?

164
00:07:19,915 --> 00:07:21,007
Yeah!

165
00:07:23,718 --> 00:07:25,310
Totally.
I admit it. It's me.

166
00:07:25,387 --> 00:07:26,615
Seriously?

167
00:07:27,289 --> 00:07:29,655
Seriously?
Are you serious?

168
00:07:29,724 --> 00:07:30,850
Is... What... Is it you?

169
00:07:31,092 --> 00:07:35,552
Yeah. Totally serious. I'm
your Secret Santa. Busted!

170
00:07:37,399 --> 00:07:38,798
There he is.

171
00:07:39,134 --> 00:07:40,123
Hey, man.

172
00:07:40,202 --> 00:07:41,863
Is Matt around?
I've got his check.

173
00:07:41,937 --> 00:07:45,464
Matt is on a delivery. Just
leave it here. I'll take it.

174
00:07:45,974 --> 00:07:47,874
I'll just wait for him.

175
00:07:48,343 --> 00:07:50,106
Matt's a pretty good-looking
dude, don't you think?

176
00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:52,578
I'll just leave
it here with you.

177
00:07:57,018 --> 00:07:58,610
Come here!
Come here! Come here!

178
00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:01,349
I'm doing something
over here. Come on! Ah!

179
00:08:01,423 --> 00:08:02,447
Ho! Ho! Ho!

180
00:08:02,524 --> 00:08:04,424
Come on, I need
this. Come over here!

181
00:08:04,493 --> 00:08:05,551
Just sit down!

182
00:08:05,627 --> 00:08:06,787
No, no, no,
no, no, no!

183
00:08:06,862 --> 00:08:08,124
Is everything okay?
Yeah. Yeah.

184
00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:09,424
Ryan and I are
just having some fun.

185
00:08:09,498 --> 00:08:10,590
Can I just talk to
you for a second? Yeah.

186
00:08:10,665 --> 00:08:12,496
No, now.
Okay, what?

187
00:08:12,934 --> 00:08:15,095
You can't yell out,
"I need this, I need this,"

188
00:08:15,170 --> 00:08:17,001
as you pin down
an employee on your lap.

189
00:08:17,072 --> 00:08:19,063
Okay. You know what, Jim?

190
00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:22,335
With two Santas in the room,
things get ruthless.

191
00:08:22,410 --> 00:08:24,002
Yeah. Do you understand?
You forced my hand.

192
00:08:24,079 --> 00:08:25,944
Michael, it's Phyllis.
We want Phyllis as Santa.

193
00:08:26,014 --> 00:08:28,744
Do we? Do we?
Is that what we want?

194
00:08:28,817 --> 00:08:30,182
Why don't we
take a vote on it?

195
00:08:30,252 --> 00:08:31,241
Great.

196
00:08:31,319 --> 00:08:32,718
Hey! Okay, everybody.

197
00:08:32,954 --> 00:08:35,821
The office is being pulled
apart. I realize that.

198
00:08:35,891 --> 00:08:38,792
There are traditions at stake.

199
00:08:38,860 --> 00:08:40,452
And there are women...
Who wants Phyllis as Santa?

200
00:08:40,529 --> 00:08:43,555
No, no, no! Wait! No!
There are other choices.

201
00:08:43,698 --> 00:08:46,758
There's information that we...
Are you kidding me, Kevin?

202
00:08:46,835 --> 00:08:48,302
After you almost killed me?

203
00:08:48,370 --> 00:08:51,032
Michael, I had you.
I just want to try Phyllis.

204
00:08:51,106 --> 00:08:54,303
And if you want Michael
as Santa, raise your hand.

205
00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:57,169
Can I get you
some punch?

206
00:08:57,245 --> 00:09:00,510
I... No, I'll get some punch.
That looks delicious.

207
00:09:02,517 --> 00:09:03,745
Michael!

208
00:09:06,821 --> 00:09:07,913
Excuse me.

209
00:09:07,989 --> 00:09:10,685
Whoever has been sending me
the parts to this gun,

210
00:09:10,759 --> 00:09:13,694
I think you sent me a gear
instead of a trigger.

211
00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:15,730
How do you know it's a gun?

212
00:09:15,797 --> 00:09:17,389
What else does it look like?

213
00:09:18,700 --> 00:09:20,327
Not a gun.

214
00:09:20,402 --> 00:09:21,960
Well, I don't have
all the pieces yet.

215
00:09:22,304 --> 00:09:26,707
Well, unless the missing piece
is a gun, you don't have a gun.

216
00:09:28,310 --> 00:09:29,641
Not a gun.

217
00:09:30,478 --> 00:09:34,471
In the North Pole, I spend many
nights alone tinkering with toys.

218
00:09:34,683 --> 00:09:39,950
So today, let's put a twinkle
in old Kris Kringle's eye.

219
00:09:40,689 --> 00:09:42,452
Let the party begin!

220
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:52,190
I don't ask for much for
Christmas. I really don't.

221
00:09:52,267 --> 00:09:56,260
It's not like I am begging
people to buy me diamonds

222
00:09:57,472 --> 00:09:59,633
and broach pendants.

223
00:10:00,075 --> 00:10:01,133
Oh!

224
00:10:01,276 --> 00:10:05,042
"Buy me something expensive, or I'm
gonna kill myself." That's not...

225
00:10:05,113 --> 00:10:08,378
I don't care about that!
All I want to be is Santa.

226
00:10:08,717 --> 00:10:12,312
And you want to take that
away from me, fine.

227
00:10:12,988 --> 00:10:14,250
Go ahead.

228
00:10:14,756 --> 00:10:16,189
But when
you need my help

229
00:10:16,257 --> 00:10:17,656
because I am
ruining everything,

230
00:10:17,726 --> 00:10:18,818
don't look at me!

231
00:10:22,964 --> 00:10:24,158
Behold,

232
00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:26,867
Jesus Christ.

233
00:10:27,035 --> 00:10:31,267
And I bring to you
glad Christmas tidings.

234
00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:34,866
I want to remind everyone
the true meaning of Christmas.

235
00:10:35,710 --> 00:10:38,702
Those of you who wish
to join me, that's great.

236
00:10:38,780 --> 00:10:40,042
I am excited by that,

237
00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:41,975
and those of you who don't,

238
00:10:42,050 --> 00:10:44,541
I forgive you,
but I never forget.

239
00:10:44,619 --> 00:10:48,020
Wow, Michael. This must be
obvious how wrong this is.

240
00:10:48,523 --> 00:10:49,751
The Antichrist.

241
00:10:49,824 --> 00:10:51,018
Okay, you can't...

242
00:10:51,593 --> 00:10:53,185
Look, you cannot
push religion.

243
00:10:53,261 --> 00:10:55,126
But I can push drugs in here.

244
00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:56,356
Is that what you're saying? No.

245
00:10:56,431 --> 00:10:58,956
Well, you have to pick one
or the other. Your choice.

246
00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:01,730
Pick your poison. Get back
to me. In the meantime,

247
00:11:01,803 --> 00:11:05,295
I am going to spread my
goodness all over this company!

248
00:11:06,808 --> 00:11:08,139
Hey, Phyllis?

249
00:11:08,209 --> 00:11:11,610
Could you not reveal to Erin
that I'm her secret Santa?

250
00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:13,511
All right, sweetie, I'll
just tell her it's Michael.

251
00:11:13,581 --> 00:11:14,673
Okay.

252
00:11:15,016 --> 00:11:18,008
I saw
three ships come sailing in

253
00:11:18,253 --> 00:11:19,345
Have you talked to him?

254
00:11:19,421 --> 00:11:20,479
What?

255
00:11:21,289 --> 00:11:22,381
Matt.

256
00:11:22,457 --> 00:11:23,651
Is it that obvious?

257
00:11:25,860 --> 00:11:27,122
No. Hey.

258
00:11:28,863 --> 00:11:29,887
Hmm.

259
00:11:29,964 --> 00:11:34,162
Good pâté, right? Oscar
made it. Have you met Oscar?

260
00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:35,892
I don't think so.

261
00:11:35,970 --> 00:11:37,699
Hey, Oscar, come here.

262
00:11:41,943 --> 00:11:46,175
Oscar, this is Matt,
and Matt loves your pâté.

263
00:11:47,115 --> 00:11:48,343
I had some.

264
00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:49,576
Oscar's pâté's great.

265
00:11:50,985 --> 00:11:54,250
I could eat it all day,
every day. Mmm.

266
00:11:56,591 --> 00:11:59,754
How come the good ones
are never straight, right?

267
00:11:59,994 --> 00:12:01,621
Okay, Pam.
Okay.

268
00:12:02,363 --> 00:12:06,697
Yes. They're the only two gay guys
I know. But they should be together.

269
00:12:07,869 --> 00:12:11,361
This just arrived from the
Dunder Mifflin North Pole branch.

270
00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:14,237
We don't have a North
Pole branch. Idiot!

271
00:12:14,342 --> 00:12:19,109
Uh-oh! What's Dwight
gonna get? What is it?

272
00:12:19,581 --> 00:12:20,605
Yes!

273
00:12:20,682 --> 00:12:22,650
Oh, yes! It's space garbage.

274
00:12:22,717 --> 00:12:25,379
Dwight's gonna be able
to build himself a friend.

275
00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:27,648
Deck the halls
with crappy gifts

276
00:12:27,722 --> 00:12:31,920
And Stanley, you've
been very good this year.

277
00:12:31,993 --> 00:12:33,051
I have.

278
00:12:33,128 --> 00:12:35,096
Yeah, except for
cheating on your wife.

279
00:12:35,163 --> 00:12:37,927
Adultery's a sin. Look it
up in the Bible, people.

280
00:12:37,999 --> 00:12:39,023
What'd he get?

281
00:12:39,100 --> 00:12:41,000
He got scented candles.

282
00:12:41,436 --> 00:12:44,166
Well, that's appropriate. A
lot of fire where you're going.

283
00:12:44,239 --> 00:12:45,672
Better get used to it.

284
00:12:45,740 --> 00:12:48,402
You're going to H-E-L-L,
double hockey sticks.

285
00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:49,670
Going to hell, Stanley.

286
00:12:49,744 --> 00:12:50,870
Amen.

287
00:12:51,279 --> 00:12:53,907
And this brings us
to you, little one.

288
00:12:54,149 --> 00:12:56,982
I can't see from here, people.
Somebody shout it out.

289
00:12:57,051 --> 00:12:58,848
Don't make me get up.

290
00:12:59,521 --> 00:13:02,615
It's fabric.
I really wanted this.

291
00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:06,419
That's fantastic! You can make
another dress that goes past your feet.

292
00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:07,654
Andy, was this you?

293
00:13:07,729 --> 00:13:08,753
It's a secret.

294
00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:11,355
No, Andy had Erin.
- It was a secret.

295
00:13:11,432 --> 00:13:12,694
- Michael!
- You...

296
00:13:12,767 --> 00:13:15,327
What? Was I not
supposed to say?

297
00:13:15,637 --> 00:13:16,661
What? Turn it back on.

298
00:13:16,738 --> 00:13:17,727
No.

299
00:13:26,815 --> 00:13:28,009
Yes, Michael.
What is so urgent?

300
00:13:28,082 --> 00:13:30,482
David, guess who I am
sitting here dressed as.

301
00:13:30,552 --> 00:13:33,248
I'm not going to guess. You
can tell me, or I will hang up.

302
00:13:33,321 --> 00:13:36,256
I will give you a hint.
His last name is Christ.

303
00:13:36,324 --> 00:13:39,987
He has the power of flight.
He can heal leopards.

304
00:13:40,061 --> 00:13:41,085
Michael...

305
00:13:41,162 --> 00:13:42,891
I am Jesus, David,
and you know why?

306
00:13:42,964 --> 00:13:47,367
Because Phyllis, a woman,
has uslurped my role as Santa.

307
00:13:47,435 --> 00:13:48,424
Michael...
What?

308
00:13:48,503 --> 00:13:50,767
This is a very,
very bad time.

309
00:13:50,839 --> 00:13:53,399
Really? What's going on?

310
00:13:54,909 --> 00:13:56,501
Stephanie,
can you hop off, please?

311
00:13:56,578 --> 00:13:57,806
Sure, David.

312
00:13:57,879 --> 00:14:01,337
What the hell? How rude!
Does she do that all the time?

313
00:14:01,616 --> 00:14:03,208
Do you want me off
this call too, Michael?

314
00:14:03,284 --> 00:14:06,617
Hey, what? Get off!
Get off the phone!

315
00:14:09,257 --> 00:14:12,420
Listen, I shouldn't tell you
this, but the company has a buyer.

316
00:14:12,493 --> 00:14:14,984
The board will have no
choice but to approve,

317
00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:17,327
and they are going
to clean house.

318
00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:18,626
What does that mean?

319
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:20,390
I'll be fired.

320
00:14:20,468 --> 00:14:22,993
Well, can't Alan protect you?

321
00:14:23,071 --> 00:14:24,595
Alan will be out, too.
All of us.

322
00:14:25,206 --> 00:14:26,298
All of us?

323
00:14:26,374 --> 00:14:27,398
Goodbye, Michael.

324
00:14:27,542 --> 00:14:28,907
Oh, my God.

325
00:14:31,980 --> 00:14:34,642
Earlier today,
this office needed a Santa.

326
00:14:34,716 --> 00:14:39,847
And then it needed a second
Santa. And then it needed a Jesus.

327
00:14:41,522 --> 00:14:42,750
And now,

328
00:14:44,259 --> 00:14:45,988
it needs a Michael.

329
00:14:47,462 --> 00:14:50,260
And that's one suit
Phyllis cannot fit into.

330
00:14:52,133 --> 00:14:54,624
Hey, how's everybody doing?

331
00:14:55,336 --> 00:14:57,896
Not great. You heckled
Santa for an hour and a half.

332
00:14:57,972 --> 00:15:00,065
That was a different guy.
That was Jesus.

333
00:15:00,141 --> 00:15:02,405
Jesus sort of
ruined the party.

334
00:15:02,510 --> 00:15:04,137
Hurt, petulant Jesus.

335
00:15:04,212 --> 00:15:06,544
Are you serious?
That is so offensive.

336
00:15:07,882 --> 00:15:09,782
You know what's
even more offensive,

337
00:15:09,851 --> 00:15:14,879
is bailing on this party because
some jerk ruined the first part of it.

338
00:15:16,224 --> 00:15:17,885
Dwight, come here.

339
00:15:18,493 --> 00:15:21,155
Here's my debit card. I want you
to go pick up a bunch of pizzas

340
00:15:21,229 --> 00:15:22,321
and meet me in
the conference room.

341
00:15:22,397 --> 00:15:23,455
What's your pin number?

342
00:15:23,531 --> 00:15:25,396
I don't want to say.

343
00:15:25,700 --> 00:15:27,930
But it's fun
to stay at the...

344
00:15:30,204 --> 00:15:32,001
It's fun to stay at the...

345
00:15:32,073 --> 00:15:34,974
Where?
Holiday Inn. I don't...

346
00:15:40,848 --> 00:15:43,612
I thought that
you would like it.

347
00:15:43,685 --> 00:15:45,118
It was a little much, Andy.

348
00:15:45,787 --> 00:15:48,278
Well, it's the thought
that counts.

349
00:15:48,356 --> 00:15:50,017
What were you thinking?

350
00:15:52,060 --> 00:15:56,087
I suppose a gentleman might
throw in the towel at this point.

351
00:15:58,399 --> 00:16:00,390
Guess what.
Not gonna happen.

352
00:16:00,535 --> 00:16:04,528
You know what? Christmas
isn't about Santa or Jesus.

353
00:16:04,806 --> 00:16:08,867
It's about the workplace. All
of you feel like my family.

354
00:16:09,377 --> 00:16:14,838
Ryan, you are my son, and
Pam, you're my wife, and Jim...

355
00:16:16,084 --> 00:16:20,020
And Angela and Phyllis,
you are my grandmas.

356
00:16:20,254 --> 00:16:23,417
And Stanley,
you're our mailman.

357
00:16:24,225 --> 00:16:27,217
And I can't help but look at all
of your wonderful, beautiful faces

358
00:16:27,295 --> 00:16:29,058
and think, "How could
they do this to us?"

359
00:16:29,130 --> 00:16:30,119
What?

360
00:16:30,198 --> 00:16:31,324
How could we do
what to you?

361
00:16:31,399 --> 00:16:32,423
That's not...
Never... Nothing.

362
00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:33,489
Why would we...

363
00:16:33,568 --> 00:16:34,762
We deserve to know.

364
00:16:34,836 --> 00:16:35,962
I didn't
say anything!

365
00:16:36,037 --> 00:16:37,299
We're going out of business!

366
00:16:37,372 --> 00:16:38,396
What?
What?

367
00:16:38,473 --> 00:16:39,462
You are kidding me.

368
00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:40,598
Wait, wait, wait.
Who said that?

369
00:16:40,675 --> 00:16:42,472
David told me on the phone.
David told me.

370
00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:43,669
When?
When did he tell you, today?

371
00:16:43,745 --> 00:16:47,613
Earlier today,
he said we have been sold.

372
00:16:47,682 --> 00:16:48,740
What?

373
00:16:50,251 --> 00:16:52,219
- Dwight! Jesus.
- Come on!

374
00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:55,283
Michael, wait.
So they said we are sold.

375
00:16:55,356 --> 00:16:57,256
David is gone, Alan is
gone. We're all gone.

376
00:16:57,325 --> 00:16:58,792
Okay, but we
haven't gone under.

377
00:16:58,860 --> 00:17:00,885
We've been sold, and that can
mean many different things.

378
00:17:00,962 --> 00:17:03,226
It's hard for me to
imagine a scenario

379
00:17:03,297 --> 00:17:05,857
where Meredith Palmer keeps her
job and David Wallace does not.

380
00:17:05,933 --> 00:17:07,628
No offense, Meredith.
No, I get it.

381
00:17:07,702 --> 00:17:08,828
I'll call him.
I'll call David.

382
00:17:08,903 --> 00:17:11,030
No you won't, because he's
not picking up his phone.

383
00:17:11,105 --> 00:17:14,905
Yes, I will, because I always
know how to get through to him.

384
00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:18,136
He told me where
his kids go to school.

385
00:17:18,212 --> 00:17:20,737
I call the school. I tell
them I'm the pediatrician.

386
00:17:20,815 --> 00:17:24,581
They patch me through to his
secretary. I use my little girl voice.

387
00:17:26,454 --> 00:17:27,614
Hey, sweetie,
what is it?

388
00:17:27,688 --> 00:17:30,179
It's not sweetie.
It's Michael Scott.

389
00:17:30,258 --> 00:17:32,226
What the hell? Stephanie,
could you hop off, please?

390
00:17:32,293 --> 00:17:34,124
Michael, I have never...

391
00:17:34,195 --> 00:17:35,219
David...
never, ever...

392
00:17:35,296 --> 00:17:36,558
David, you are
on speakerphone

393
00:17:36,631 --> 00:17:39,361
with the entire branch
and the warehouse.

394
00:17:39,434 --> 00:17:41,334
Hi, David.
- Hey, David.

395
00:17:41,736 --> 00:17:42,794
Hi, everyone.

396
00:17:42,870 --> 00:17:45,031
David, they do not believe me

397
00:17:45,573 --> 00:17:48,406
when you told me
that everyone was canned.

398
00:17:48,743 --> 00:17:50,301
You weren't supposed
to tell anyone, Michael.

399
00:17:50,378 --> 00:17:51,868
Well, I think
we're past that now.

400
00:17:51,946 --> 00:17:53,504
I am not supposed...

401
00:17:53,581 --> 00:17:55,640
Okay, fine.
Guys, I was really

402
00:17:55,716 --> 00:17:57,547
only talking
about Alan, myself,

403
00:17:57,618 --> 00:17:59,381
and a few other
execs you don't know.

404
00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:01,854
Oh, my God.
David, that's horrible.

405
00:18:01,923 --> 00:18:06,519
How about us? It's Meredith. By the
way, your wife is a very lucky woman.

406
00:18:06,828 --> 00:18:09,991
Look, they're buying the
company for the distribution.

407
00:18:10,064 --> 00:18:12,931
You guys are the only thing
about this company that works.

408
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,126
So congratulations.

409
00:18:14,202 --> 00:18:15,226
We're not fired?

410
00:18:15,303 --> 00:18:16,736
No. Congratulations.

411
00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:18,465
All right!
Yeah!

412
00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:21,104
Come on!

413
00:18:21,175 --> 00:18:22,403
It's a Christmas miracle!

414
00:18:22,677 --> 00:18:23,769
Yeah!

415
00:18:27,615 --> 00:18:29,606
Walk a lonely road

416
00:18:29,684 --> 00:18:32,847
Only one that
I have ever known

417
00:18:33,354 --> 00:18:35,481
Don't know where it goes

418
00:18:35,556 --> 00:18:38,650
But it's all to me
and I walk alone

419
00:18:39,861 --> 00:18:41,385
It's true.
Yes.

420
00:18:41,462 --> 00:18:43,430
We all walk alone.
Jim.

421
00:18:44,899 --> 00:18:45,957
Jim.

422
00:18:48,536 --> 00:18:49,594
Jim.

423
00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:55,608
My shadow's the only one
That walks beside me

424
00:18:56,410 --> 00:18:58,708
My shallow heart's...

425
00:19:00,047 --> 00:19:01,105
Wow.

426
00:19:04,085 --> 00:19:06,485
Yeah. That was the idea.
Thank you.

427
00:19:06,554 --> 00:19:08,454
Awesome.
Thanks, man.

428
00:19:10,791 --> 00:19:15,751
Christmas tree
Thou leaves are so unchanging

429
00:19:15,830 --> 00:19:17,229
Of course!

430
00:19:19,066 --> 00:19:20,431
You got it?

431
00:19:21,269 --> 00:19:22,361
What is that?

432
00:19:22,436 --> 00:19:23,494
I have no idea.

433
00:19:25,473 --> 00:19:28,169
Well, maybe those will help.

434
00:19:28,242 --> 00:19:29,971
Michael, please. Come on.

435
00:19:31,412 --> 00:19:32,538
Sorry.
Sure.

436
00:19:32,613 --> 00:19:33,602
Nice to meet you, Oscar.

437
00:19:33,681 --> 00:19:34,670
Nice to meet you, Mark.

438
00:19:34,749 --> 00:19:36,717
It's Matt.
Right, Matt.

439
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:40,410
I know what I'm doing, Pam.

440
00:19:47,461 --> 00:19:49,190
Oh, man!

441
00:19:50,431 --> 00:19:52,023
I can use this
for so many nuts.

442
00:19:52,099 --> 00:19:54,966
Macadamias,
Brazil nuts, pecans,

443
00:19:55,036 --> 00:19:58,267
almonds, clams, snails.

444
00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:00,937
Hi, Santa.

445
00:20:01,008 --> 00:20:02,236
Hi, Michael.

446
00:20:05,947 --> 00:20:07,039
Okay.

447
00:20:09,016 --> 00:20:10,278
I'd like to make a wish.

448
00:20:10,351 --> 00:20:11,375
What?

449
00:20:12,587 --> 00:20:17,923
I would like an Xbox and a TV
that's compatible with an Xbox.

450
00:20:20,761 --> 00:20:22,251
And I'm sorry.

451
00:20:25,266 --> 00:20:29,396
An Xbox it is, because I've
decided you're a good boy.

452
00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:33,168
Scott, what in the hell
is going on here?

453
00:20:33,241 --> 00:20:35,072
No, no, no. We worked it
out. You called Bob? Phyllis!

454
00:20:35,142 --> 00:20:37,576
I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
It was earlier today.

455
00:20:37,645 --> 00:20:38,771
Okay.

456
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:40,372
Hi, sweetheart.
You okay, baby?

457
00:20:40,448 --> 00:20:41,540
I'm good, baby.

458
00:20:41,616 --> 00:20:43,880
Oh, God. Get a room, Santas.

459
00:20:46,554 --> 00:20:48,488
Thank you, Santa.

460
00:20:48,556 --> 00:20:49,887
Okay, happy holidays.

461
00:20:50,992 --> 00:20:53,222
It's real slippery out here.

462
00:20:56,530 --> 00:20:58,327
Oh, my God.

463
00:20:58,399 --> 00:20:59,832
Twelve drummers drumming.

464
00:21:13,214 --> 00:21:16,047
Merry Christmas, Erin.
Take it away, boys!

465
00:21:16,915 --> 00:21:26,915
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