1
00:00:03,178 --> 00:00:05,169
Hey, Jim.
Jim! Come here.

2
00:00:06,281 --> 00:00:07,771
Do you know who that is?

3
00:00:07,850 --> 00:00:08,874
No.

4
00:00:08,951 --> 00:00:10,077
Look at him.
Look at him.

5
00:00:10,152 --> 00:00:11,176
T-shirt, jeans.

6
00:00:11,253 --> 00:00:13,687
Is it you?
I am flattered.

7
00:00:14,957 --> 00:00:16,083
That's Johnny Depp.

8
00:00:16,158 --> 00:00:18,888
Where'd you take that?
In my condo complex.

9
00:00:18,961 --> 00:00:21,259
Oh, my God, that's right!
I read in People magazine

10
00:00:21,330 --> 00:00:23,457
that he was looking for a
two-bedroom condo in Scranton.

11
00:00:23,532 --> 00:00:24,965
I'm flipping out, man.

12
00:00:25,034 --> 00:00:26,797
Well, you remember my idea
for the fourth Pirates movie.

13
00:00:26,869 --> 00:00:28,063
Sure. That they should do one.

14
00:00:28,137 --> 00:00:32,665
Hey, Jim, Jim, where do
I find the Black Pearl?

15
00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:34,834
Who's that?
Captain Jack Sparrow.

16
00:00:34,910 --> 00:00:36,707
Captain Jack Sparrow, Jim.

17
00:00:36,779 --> 00:00:38,303
John Dillinger.

18
00:00:39,314 --> 00:00:41,077
No, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow.

19
00:00:41,150 --> 00:00:42,617
Cap'n Crunch.

20
00:00:42,785 --> 00:00:44,616
Okay. Okay.

21
00:00:44,887 --> 00:00:46,718
Screw you, Halpert.

22
00:00:46,789 --> 00:00:50,088
You know, it's not easy
getting excited about stuff.

23
00:00:50,292 --> 00:00:52,487
Remember how you felt when you
thought you'd seen Roger Clemens?

24
00:00:52,561 --> 00:00:53,550
At the Yankees game.

25
00:00:53,629 --> 00:00:54,857
Yeah. Well, it wasn't him.

26
00:00:54,930 --> 00:00:57,364
I had a little better
reason to believe that...

27
00:00:58,367 --> 00:00:59,959
You're right.
You're right.

28
00:01:00,736 --> 00:01:02,533
Well, you're not right,
because Johnny Depp...

29
00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:04,731
I know. I know!
in your condo complex?

30
00:01:04,807 --> 00:01:08,607
It also explains why the name
on his mailbox was M. Schulman.

31
00:01:12,247 --> 00:01:13,874
M. Night Schulman?

32
00:01:15,610 --> 00:01:21,684
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org

33
00:01:37,406 --> 00:01:38,270
First up,

34
00:01:38,340 --> 00:01:41,070
the Lost and Found has
gone missing.

35
00:01:41,143 --> 00:01:42,906
It itself is lost,

36
00:01:42,978 --> 00:01:45,879
so please try not to lose
anything until we find it.

37
00:01:45,948 --> 00:01:48,508
Pet day. If you don't
have a pet please don't feel like...

38
00:01:48,584 --> 00:01:50,882
When are we
getting to sales topics?

39
00:01:50,953 --> 00:01:53,421
Yeah. What about those leads? Did
you hear anything from corporate?

40
00:01:53,489 --> 00:01:55,423
Ah, yes, the leads.

41
00:01:55,491 --> 00:01:57,755
The leads that
Sabre has spent $50,000

42
00:01:57,826 --> 00:02:01,592
to get from a market research
company are not here yet.

43
00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:02,960
- Man.
- But will be...

44
00:02:03,031 --> 00:02:05,556
Damn it! No, no,
no. No. Meeting's not over.

45
00:02:05,634 --> 00:02:08,000
But is there anything relevant
to the sales staff here?

46
00:02:08,070 --> 00:02:09,867
No sales topic, per se.

47
00:02:09,938 --> 00:02:12,839
Well, then
no Andy Bernard, per se.

48
00:02:12,908 --> 00:02:14,307
I agree.

49
00:02:14,376 --> 00:02:16,503
Dwight? Sorry. Michael,
I got calls to make.

50
00:02:16,578 --> 00:02:18,546
I would like your
undivided attention, please.

51
00:02:18,614 --> 00:02:21,048
You couldn't handle
my undivided attention.

52
00:02:22,551 --> 00:02:25,884
Over the last few weeks,
things have been changing here.

53
00:02:26,755 --> 00:02:30,555
Sabre says it is our duty
to support the sales team,

54
00:02:30,626 --> 00:02:33,220
and the salesmen are
letting it go to their heads.

55
00:02:33,295 --> 00:02:34,956
I think it's kind of
screwed up,

56
00:02:35,030 --> 00:02:36,691
because the way
this place used to work

57
00:02:36,765 --> 00:02:39,962
was make friends first,
make sales second,

58
00:02:40,102 --> 00:02:42,832
make love third,
in no particular order.

59
00:02:46,175 --> 00:02:48,473
Listen, Michael,

60
00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:50,644
about what
happened earlier.

61
00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:51,940
Yeah?

62
00:02:52,014 --> 00:02:53,709
When I was asking about
the leads.

63
00:02:53,782 --> 00:02:54,942
Mmm-hmm.

64
00:02:55,017 --> 00:02:56,644
Is there any news
on the leads?

65
00:02:57,819 --> 00:02:58,911
Is that all you have to say to me?

66
00:02:58,987 --> 00:03:01,649
Yeah. You got any
news on the leads?

67
00:03:02,391 --> 00:03:03,380
Okay, I tell you what.

68
00:03:03,458 --> 00:03:05,619
I'm going out on a very
important sales call.

69
00:03:05,694 --> 00:03:08,060
You get any news about
the leads, you try me.

70
00:03:08,130 --> 00:03:10,690
All of my numbers.
All six of my numbers, okay?

71
00:03:10,766 --> 00:03:12,734
Including the car phone!

72
00:03:14,536 --> 00:03:15,935
All right, Dwight out!

73
00:03:16,004 --> 00:03:17,631
Salesman is King.

74
00:03:17,706 --> 00:03:20,402
As the best salesman,
I am King of Kings.

75
00:03:21,176 --> 00:03:23,736
Oh, you say Jesus
is King of Kings?

76
00:03:23,812 --> 00:03:27,543
Well, what does that say to
you about how I think of myself?

77
00:03:33,021 --> 00:03:34,886
Do you not
answer emails anymore?

78
00:03:34,957 --> 00:03:38,791
Because I have emailed you four
times asking you to come to my desk.

79
00:03:38,860 --> 00:03:40,851
Honey, if I don't have
time to answer an email,

80
00:03:40,929 --> 00:03:44,160
I definitely don't have time
to walk over to your desk.

81
00:03:44,233 --> 00:03:46,064
Wow, wowie, wowie.

82
00:03:46,568 --> 00:03:49,002
Congratulations.
It's a big check.

83
00:03:50,606 --> 00:03:51,834
Oh, sorry, one second.

84
00:03:51,907 --> 00:03:53,340
Stop sexting Pam.

85
00:03:53,408 --> 00:03:54,670
I'm trying to
congratulate you.

86
00:03:54,743 --> 00:03:58,144
This is actually a big
potential sale, so...

87
00:03:58,213 --> 00:03:59,942
You're writing your
memoirs over there?

88
00:04:00,015 --> 00:04:01,380
You writing your
name over there?

89
00:04:01,450 --> 00:04:02,610
Well, it's a pretty big check.

90
00:04:02,684 --> 00:04:04,413
It's good, you know,
with the kid.

91
00:04:04,486 --> 00:04:06,750
Okay. Don't gloat.
Here's the thing.

92
00:04:06,822 --> 00:04:09,052
This kind of money
can corrupt people.

93
00:04:09,324 --> 00:04:11,292
All right,
here we go. "Michael."

94
00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:12,657
I'm just
saying that...

95
00:04:12,728 --> 00:04:13,854
"Michael."

96
00:04:16,465 --> 00:04:17,489
Great.

97
00:04:17,566 --> 00:04:20,626
Teddy, nice. Let me just... Let
me write that down real quick.

98
00:04:20,702 --> 00:04:22,863
Pencil. Give me a pencil.

99
00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:28,132
Hang on, Teddy.
I'm making a sale.

100
00:04:28,210 --> 00:04:29,438
Mmm-hmm.
Sales.

101
00:04:29,511 --> 00:04:30,535
Mmm-hmm.

102
00:04:30,612 --> 00:04:31,840
There's other pencils
in this office.

103
00:04:31,913 --> 00:04:33,244
Give me...

104
00:04:46,862 --> 00:04:48,454
Honey and jelly
sandwich time.

105
00:04:48,530 --> 00:04:49,758
Mike.

106
00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:51,890
Oh, you gotta
be kidding me.

107
00:04:51,967 --> 00:04:53,434
Look at that. That's...

108
00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:54,696
I know who did that.

109
00:04:54,770 --> 00:04:57,671
You saw who did
this and you didn't stop them?

110
00:04:57,739 --> 00:05:00,264
Didn't have to see.
It was sales, I can feel it.

111
00:05:00,742 --> 00:05:02,505
They are out of control.

112
00:05:02,944 --> 00:05:04,775
The sales department
smashed my sandwich.

113
00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:06,905
Yes. All of them.

114
00:05:06,982 --> 00:05:08,847
Together.
It's a conspiracy.

115
00:05:09,718 --> 00:05:10,707
Listen to me, Mike.

116
00:05:10,786 --> 00:05:12,845
You gotta do
something about them.

117
00:05:12,921 --> 00:05:13,945
You don't get it.

118
00:05:14,022 --> 00:05:16,547
You need to get back on top.

119
00:05:17,159 --> 00:05:19,457
That's what she said.
That's what she said.

120
00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:20,927
Yeah.
Yeah.

121
00:05:22,531 --> 00:05:24,863
Something came
for you, Michael.

122
00:05:24,933 --> 00:05:26,059
Thank you very much.

123
00:05:26,134 --> 00:05:27,533
What'd you get?

124
00:05:27,602 --> 00:05:29,467
- Uh, it's just the stupid
leads. - All right!

125
00:05:29,538 --> 00:05:31,438
About time.
Yeah! Me likey!

126
00:05:31,506 --> 00:05:34,373
Yeah, finally, Michael.
Hand them over, numbnuts.

127
00:05:35,377 --> 00:05:38,710
But seriously, I mean, it's
your job to give us those leads.

128
00:05:38,780 --> 00:05:40,111
All right.

129
00:05:40,582 --> 00:05:43,517
Then I guess I should
give them out. Hold on.

130
00:05:45,287 --> 00:05:47,152
You know what I'm thinking?

131
00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:49,622
I'm thinking that I have
something that you want.

132
00:05:49,691 --> 00:05:51,989
You guys are acting
like you own this place,

133
00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:53,254
and you don't.

134
00:05:53,328 --> 00:05:56,195
Not even Sabre owns
this place. It's a rental.

135
00:05:56,264 --> 00:05:58,027
I'm kind of sick of
the attitude around here.

136
00:05:58,100 --> 00:05:59,965
I'm sick of
the cocky walk.

137
00:06:00,035 --> 00:06:03,937
I am sick of you throwing
your paycheck in my face.

138
00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:06,935
I am sick of your
uppity attitude, Jim.

139
00:06:08,510 --> 00:06:12,310
I think I am not going
to give these to you.

140
00:06:12,381 --> 00:06:13,678
- Yes!
- Yeah!

141
00:06:13,749 --> 00:06:15,376
We need those leads, Michael.

142
00:06:15,450 --> 00:06:18,180
That's our job,
Michael. Michael!

143
00:06:21,390 --> 00:06:23,517
Michael, we spent
a lot of money on those leads.

144
00:06:23,592 --> 00:06:24,650
You have to
give them out.

145
00:06:24,726 --> 00:06:27,251
Then we are just rewarding
their bad behavior.

146
00:06:27,329 --> 00:06:30,196
Okay, just imagine

147
00:06:30,265 --> 00:06:33,462
that instead of going to
jail for murdering someone,

148
00:06:33,869 --> 00:06:35,837
you got an ice cream cone.

149
00:06:35,904 --> 00:06:38,600
If that were the case,
then in the summertime,

150
00:06:38,673 --> 00:06:42,336
everyone would go
around killing people

151
00:06:43,412 --> 00:06:45,642
for the pleasure
of an ice cream cone.

152
00:06:45,714 --> 00:06:48,774
Michael, I don't want
to incentivize murder,

153
00:06:48,850 --> 00:06:50,579
but we've tried
to make it clear

154
00:06:50,652 --> 00:06:52,984
that our policy
emphasizes sales staff.

155
00:06:53,054 --> 00:06:55,318
They act like
I have no power.

156
00:06:55,524 --> 00:06:57,321
But you do.
You are in charge...

157
00:06:57,392 --> 00:06:59,087
Thank you... Of
supporting the sales staff.

158
00:06:59,161 --> 00:07:00,924
You are required to hand
out those leads, Michael.

159
00:07:00,996 --> 00:07:02,122
Mmm-hmm.

160
00:07:02,197 --> 00:07:06,031
Well, if that is what I am required
to do, I will do exactly that.

161
00:07:06,101 --> 00:07:07,796
Okay, good.
Exactly that.

162
00:07:07,869 --> 00:07:09,632
Good.
Exactly that.

163
00:07:09,704 --> 00:07:11,103
Why do you
keep repeating...

164
00:07:13,375 --> 00:07:16,435
Hello. May I have
everyone's attention, please?

165
00:07:16,711 --> 00:07:18,770
Gabe has instructed me
to hand out the leads,

166
00:07:18,847 --> 00:07:22,476
so I am going to give
the leads to King Creed.

167
00:07:22,684 --> 00:07:23,742
What?
What are you...

168
00:07:23,819 --> 00:07:26,754
And to King Meredith!

169
00:07:26,822 --> 00:07:28,119
They aren't
sales people.

170
00:07:28,190 --> 00:07:30,351
And to King Angela.

171
00:07:30,425 --> 00:07:33,792
Because today we are
all kings and queens.

172
00:07:34,396 --> 00:07:35,886
What the hell do you think
you're doing?

173
00:07:35,964 --> 00:07:38,455
I am giving them
the leads, Phyllis.

174
00:07:43,405 --> 00:07:45,134
Hey.
Hey.

175
00:07:45,307 --> 00:07:47,502
So I'm gonna go ahead
and save you some time,

176
00:07:47,576 --> 00:07:50,602
and tell you that no one's
gonna go along with this.

177
00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:51,805
But you knew that, right?

178
00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:52,904
Mmm-hmm.

179
00:07:52,981 --> 00:07:56,940
All right. So, why don't you just
give me my share of the leads,

180
00:07:57,285 --> 00:07:59,310
and I'll start
making some calls?

181
00:07:59,387 --> 00:08:00,479
Okay.

182
00:08:04,459 --> 00:08:05,983
Hey, all right.
All right.

183
00:08:09,164 --> 00:08:10,961
These aren't leads.
What are they?

184
00:08:11,032 --> 00:08:13,523
Oh, right.
Those are clues,

185
00:08:13,602 --> 00:08:15,502
and within each clue
is a lesson.

186
00:08:15,570 --> 00:08:18,061
You learn a lesson,
and then you find a lead.

187
00:08:18,139 --> 00:08:21,631
The leads are scattered
all over the industrial park.

188
00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:24,702
I'm trying to make
your kids respect you,

189
00:08:24,779 --> 00:08:28,112
because a father needs
to respect his boss,

190
00:08:28,183 --> 00:08:31,516
and kids don't respect the father
who doesn't respect the boss.

191
00:08:31,586 --> 00:08:33,053
Do you understand
that line of logic?

192
00:08:33,121 --> 00:08:34,349
I don't even think
you understand it.

193
00:08:34,422 --> 00:08:36,151
I do understand it.

194
00:08:36,992 --> 00:08:38,459
This one's a map.

195
00:08:38,527 --> 00:08:39,516
Or is it?

196
00:08:43,698 --> 00:08:46,963
How the tables have turned!
I see you got my email.

197
00:08:48,870 --> 00:08:50,770
Are you gonna give me the leads or not?

198
00:08:50,839 --> 00:08:53,330
I'll give you the leads.
But you know what?

199
00:08:54,342 --> 00:08:56,810
It's gonna cost you
some clerical work.

200
00:08:56,878 --> 00:08:59,005
What are these for?
It doesn't matter.

201
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,638
Fill them out.
All of them.

202
00:09:00,715 --> 00:09:03,081
And when you're done, you
can watch me shred them.

203
00:09:03,151 --> 00:09:04,550
Right.

204
00:09:04,619 --> 00:09:06,553
I want to watch
The Kardashians, okay?

205
00:09:06,621 --> 00:09:08,282
I don't want to watch Bored
To Death. It's mindless!

206
00:09:08,356 --> 00:09:09,584
Kardashians is a good show.
It is...

207
00:09:09,658 --> 00:09:10,716
Thank you, Stanley!
No, you don't even know!

208
00:09:10,792 --> 00:09:12,157
How would he even
know The Kardashians?

209
00:09:12,227 --> 00:09:14,525
It's about a family, a real-life
family. No, Stanley, do you...

210
00:09:14,796 --> 00:09:16,354
Hey, baby, what's up?

211
00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:19,195
I am currently reading
incoherent riddles

212
00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:22,134
on blue index cards
to find vital information

213
00:09:22,203 --> 00:09:25,900
that Michael has hidden all
over the office. How are you?

214
00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:28,936
Nothing but vomit
and diapers over here.

215
00:09:29,010 --> 00:09:31,069
Oh, my God.
I couldn't envy you more.

216
00:09:31,146 --> 00:09:34,309
Having a baby is as
exhausting as they say it is.

217
00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:37,517
Having two babies,
that's just unfair.

218
00:09:38,153 --> 00:09:39,552
How about this one?

219
00:09:39,621 --> 00:09:42,283
"When arrogant salesmen
are mean to my face,

220
00:09:42,357 --> 00:09:45,224
"a certain manager will
go to his moppy place."

221
00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:47,022
He means
his mopey place.

222
00:09:47,095 --> 00:09:49,996
It's under that street lamp
that he thinks was in Casablanca.

223
00:09:50,065 --> 00:09:51,123
God, I love you.

224
00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:55,232
Today I turned an office
crisis into a teachable moment.

225
00:09:55,637 --> 00:10:00,233
A lesser manager would have
screwed this day up royally.

226
00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:03,368
I can imagine some yokel
sitting behind his desk saying,

227
00:10:03,445 --> 00:10:06,278
"Oh, yeah, take a lead. Learn nothing."

228
00:10:06,348 --> 00:10:08,646
Some people shouldn't
be in this business.

229
00:10:11,052 --> 00:10:13,646
Hey. I guess you probably
won't give me your leads

230
00:10:13,722 --> 00:10:15,314
since I'm a jerk salesman.

231
00:10:15,390 --> 00:10:17,950
Yeah. I basically
wish you were dead.

232
00:10:19,361 --> 00:10:20,555
I hid the leads.

233
00:10:20,629 --> 00:10:21,789
Where?

234
00:10:27,936 --> 00:10:29,130
Colder.

235
00:10:31,906 --> 00:10:33,339
Colder.

236
00:10:36,311 --> 00:10:37,505
Warmer.

237
00:10:39,114 --> 00:10:40,308
Warmer.

238
00:10:41,216 --> 00:10:44,617
Colder. Colder. Warmer.

239
00:10:45,887 --> 00:10:48,185
Warmer. Warmer!

240
00:10:48,923 --> 00:10:51,187
Hot! Hotter.

241
00:10:52,227 --> 00:10:54,320
Burning hot! Lower.

242
00:10:54,963 --> 00:10:56,260
Are you...
Lower.

243
00:10:56,331 --> 00:10:57,798
Are you sure?

244
00:10:58,733 --> 00:11:00,291
Lower.

245
00:11:06,675 --> 00:11:08,199
What are you doing, idiot?

246
00:11:08,276 --> 00:11:10,335
Michael's stupid
scavenger hunt.

247
00:11:10,412 --> 00:11:13,472
Scavenger hunt? Here.
I can solve it. Give it.

248
00:11:14,282 --> 00:11:15,806
"The treasure you seek
is in the parking lot

249
00:11:15,884 --> 00:11:17,943
"under the first president"?

250
00:11:18,019 --> 00:11:19,247
Lincoln.

251
00:11:20,989 --> 00:11:22,684
The prankster
is getting pranked.

252
00:11:23,825 --> 00:11:25,622
It involves you, too.

253
00:11:26,261 --> 00:11:27,250
The leads are in?

254
00:11:28,496 --> 00:11:29,724
Michael?

255
00:11:30,699 --> 00:11:32,826
Michael, you were supposed to
tell me when the leads came in.

256
00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:36,962
Well, big shot, if you
want to find your leads,

257
00:11:37,038 --> 00:11:39,404
go to the man
who never breeds.

258
00:11:40,709 --> 00:11:41,698
Kevin.

259
00:11:41,776 --> 00:11:43,004
Damn it!

260
00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:46,013
Kevin! Give me those leads.
Where are they? Come on!

261
00:11:46,081 --> 00:11:48,049
You are never
going to find them.

262
00:11:48,116 --> 00:11:50,311
Really?
I'm going to enjoy this.

263
00:11:50,385 --> 00:11:52,319
Give me the leads!
Where are my leads?

264
00:11:52,387 --> 00:11:53,376
Give me the leads!

265
00:11:53,455 --> 00:11:54,683
I'm still enjoying it!

266
00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:55,984
Where are they?

267
00:11:56,057 --> 00:11:58,491
They're in the trash.
They're in the trash.

268
00:11:59,794 --> 00:12:01,591
The trash. It's code.

269
00:12:02,197 --> 00:12:04,324
All right, Meredith.
Take off your dress.

270
00:12:04,399 --> 00:12:05,423
Okey-dokey.

271
00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:06,694
No, dear God, no.

272
00:12:06,768 --> 00:12:09,202
It's in the trashcan.
In the kitchen.

273
00:12:09,871 --> 00:12:11,805
It's coming off
either way.

274
00:12:21,416 --> 00:12:22,781
Clean sack.

275
00:12:23,518 --> 00:12:25,418
What...
I emptied it in the dumpster.

276
00:12:25,487 --> 00:12:27,614
It had Toby's baba ghanoush.

277
00:12:28,389 --> 00:12:31,449
If we don't patronize the
only Syrian restaurant in town,

278
00:12:31,526 --> 00:12:35,087
there'll be nothing left
but pan pizzas

279
00:12:35,163 --> 00:12:37,256
and, you know,
make-your-own-salads.

280
00:12:43,972 --> 00:12:44,961
It's empty!

281
00:12:45,039 --> 00:12:46,267
Wait. What day is today?

282
00:12:46,341 --> 00:12:49,105
Tonight is Ghost Whisperer,
so Friday.

283
00:12:49,177 --> 00:12:53,637
Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! No, no, no!

284
00:12:54,949 --> 00:12:56,211
Hey, hey!

285
00:12:56,618 --> 00:12:59,280
Wait! Wait!

286
00:13:01,222 --> 00:13:04,214
Okay, you know what? Let's just
go to the dump, start looking.

287
00:13:04,292 --> 00:13:06,419
Ryan, come on.
Shotgun in my car.

288
00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:08,325
Michael, why would
we all go to the dump?

289
00:13:08,396 --> 00:13:10,887
Why? Because I am
not going to call Sabre

290
00:13:10,965 --> 00:13:14,901
and say, "Hi! You know those
very valuable, expensive leads

291
00:13:14,969 --> 00:13:16,596
"that you gave us
earlier today?

292
00:13:16,671 --> 00:13:18,434
"Well, because of a screw-up
by a staff member,

293
00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:19,837
"they're now
in the city dump."

294
00:13:19,908 --> 00:13:22,103
Not your staff, Michael. You.

295
00:13:22,177 --> 00:13:23,804
Well, that's not the way
it's gonna sound.

296
00:13:23,878 --> 00:13:26,244
Here's what we'll do. We'll go
to the dump, we'll look around,

297
00:13:26,314 --> 00:13:28,009
then we'll all go
out and get pizza,

298
00:13:28,082 --> 00:13:30,277
maybe catch a movie,
late-night drink,

299
00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:31,750
some more pizza, call it
a night. What do you...

300
00:13:31,820 --> 00:13:34,687
Does it have to be pizza?
Could we go for a falafel?

301
00:13:34,756 --> 00:13:35,745
Really?

302
00:13:35,824 --> 00:13:37,917
I'm not going.
You did this, not us.

303
00:13:37,992 --> 00:13:42,224
Okay, no. You encouraged it.
You were complicit. Complicit.

304
00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:44,123
You were all successories.

305
00:13:44,199 --> 00:13:46,167
That sounds fun, mucking
around in the dump.

306
00:13:46,234 --> 00:13:47,633
I wish I could go.
You can.

307
00:13:47,702 --> 00:13:49,693
I can't.
You know that.

308
00:13:49,771 --> 00:13:52,137
Okay, fine, I get it.
I'll just go by myself.

309
00:13:52,574 --> 00:13:53,905
I'll go, Michael.

310
00:13:55,577 --> 00:13:57,272
'Cause you'll just
screw it up.

311
00:14:11,593 --> 00:14:13,720
This place has gone to hell.

312
00:14:17,765 --> 00:14:19,892
You know, Dwight, there was a
time you'd be pinching yourself

313
00:14:19,968 --> 00:14:22,869
to have the opportunity to
look through a dump with me.

314
00:14:22,937 --> 00:14:24,962
Yeah, well,
the acorn becomes the oak.

315
00:14:25,039 --> 00:14:28,770
Yeah. Well, sometimes the
acorn just stays an acorn.

316
00:14:28,843 --> 00:14:30,470
If you don't believe me,
look in my gutters.

317
00:14:30,645 --> 00:14:33,375
You're adorable.
You need to go for it.

318
00:14:33,448 --> 00:14:36,645
I'm gonna be, like, mad at you
if you don't... Yeah, whatever.

319
00:14:39,954 --> 00:14:41,854
Can't wait
for this day to be over.

320
00:14:41,923 --> 00:14:43,857
Why?
Just all the drama.

321
00:14:43,925 --> 00:14:45,290
What drama?

322
00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:46,850
Between the...

323
00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:49,187
Us and you guys.

324
00:14:50,565 --> 00:14:51,589
It's unnecessary, right?

325
00:14:51,666 --> 00:14:52,690
So unnecessary.

326
00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:54,997
Good. Thank God you said that.

327
00:14:55,470 --> 00:14:56,767
You know,
maybe if the salesmen

328
00:14:56,838 --> 00:14:58,669
weren't acting like such
a bunch of stuck-up losers,

329
00:14:58,740 --> 00:15:02,141
then this day wouldn't be so
bad. Did you ever think of that?

330
00:15:04,012 --> 00:15:06,003
I have new
baby pictures.

331
00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:07,172
Jim.

332
00:15:08,316 --> 00:15:11,251
Don't use your cute
baby to make us like you.

333
00:15:11,319 --> 00:15:12,786
She's wearing a Onesie.

334
00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:14,849
Stop it.

335
00:15:17,659 --> 00:15:19,024
If we act nice now,

336
00:15:19,093 --> 00:15:21,493
then we're rewarding them
for treating us poorly.

337
00:15:21,562 --> 00:15:22,620
Didn't we kind of start it?

338
00:15:22,697 --> 00:15:24,494
Mmm. I think you're
remembering that wrong.

339
00:15:24,565 --> 00:15:25,725
- Yeah.
- I don't know about this.

340
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,529
I mean, I think we
should hold our ground.

341
00:15:27,602 --> 00:15:30,196
The company's changed, and if
they don't like it, they can leave.

342
00:15:30,271 --> 00:15:33,536
I mean, a lot of their
work can be done from India.

343
00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:36,007
Can we at least all agree
that this is uncomfortable,

344
00:15:36,077 --> 00:15:38,602
and maybe heading
for something bad?

345
00:15:39,147 --> 00:15:40,512
All those who agree
say "aye."

346
00:15:40,581 --> 00:15:41,639
Aye.

347
00:15:41,716 --> 00:15:43,581
All those opposed? I don't
think we need opposed.

348
00:15:44,619 --> 00:15:46,382
You've changed, man.

349
00:15:46,821 --> 00:15:49,619
Oh, why, 'cause I have a
shot at a 100K commission?

350
00:15:49,691 --> 00:15:52,159
Since when do you
care about money?

351
00:15:52,226 --> 00:15:54,251
When I first met you,
you were a wide-eyed innocent.

352
00:15:54,329 --> 00:15:56,559
Hey, there is nothing I can
do about my wide-set eyes.

353
00:15:56,631 --> 00:15:58,895
No, no, no, I'm talking about
your personality, Dwight!

354
00:15:58,967 --> 00:16:02,403
Okay, when I first met you,
I had a lot of job offers.

355
00:16:02,637 --> 00:16:05,936
And I had an offer
from lvan Schotsky.

356
00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:08,737
The lvan Schotsky. If I
had assistant managed him...

357
00:16:08,810 --> 00:16:09,834
Assistant to
the managed him.

358
00:16:09,911 --> 00:16:11,640
Oh, that's low!

359
00:16:11,713 --> 00:16:14,204
I would be number two
right now at a Home Depot!

360
00:16:14,282 --> 00:16:15,271
Yeah.
Okay?

361
00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:16,977
'Cause they promote
from within!

362
00:16:17,051 --> 00:16:19,451
Instead I had to follow you.
You're going nowhere.

363
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:22,216
You think you would have done
better without me. Really?

364
00:16:22,290 --> 00:16:24,952
I hitched my wagon
to a horse with no legs.

365
00:16:25,026 --> 00:16:29,156
Wow! Okay! Man!

366
00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:32,791
When I think
about all the time

367
00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:35,358
that I wasted
being your friend!

368
00:16:35,436 --> 00:16:36,698
I shouldn't have
been hanging out

369
00:16:36,771 --> 00:16:38,204
watching karate
movies with you!

370
00:16:38,272 --> 00:16:39,534
Kung fu movies!

371
00:16:39,607 --> 00:16:40,733
You know what I should have been doing?

372
00:16:40,808 --> 00:16:43,504
I should have been out at
bars finding my soul mate,

373
00:16:43,578 --> 00:16:45,239
finding my wife,
making babies.

374
00:16:45,313 --> 00:16:48,305
Nice babies you're making
with the floozies at the bars!

375
00:16:48,383 --> 00:16:50,248
That's my wife you're
talking about, man!

376
00:16:50,318 --> 00:16:53,219
Your made-up wife
who doesn't exist?

377
00:16:54,922 --> 00:16:55,980
You watch it!

378
00:16:56,057 --> 00:17:00,551
If I'd wanted to hit you, I would
have hit you. Don't do it! No, no.

379
00:17:01,462 --> 00:17:04,124
You just made an enemy
with the wrong guy, Dwight.

380
00:17:09,504 --> 00:17:11,836
Wait. Timeout,
timeout, timeout!

381
00:17:15,043 --> 00:17:16,510
Time-in.
No!

382
00:17:18,179 --> 00:17:20,773
Don't... Don't even
think about that.

383
00:17:26,287 --> 00:17:27,515
Stop it!

384
00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:30,182
Give me that.
That's my spool!

385
00:17:31,392 --> 00:17:33,792
What's the least we can do
to make this okay?

386
00:17:33,861 --> 00:17:35,658
I'll text Pam. She's
really good at this stuff.

387
00:17:35,730 --> 00:17:38,790
Yeah. I'll text Erin. She's
really good at this stuff, too.

388
00:17:39,700 --> 00:17:42,692
I mean, I guess we could give
them some of our new commissions.

389
00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:44,829
That is
a dangerous precedent.

390
00:17:44,906 --> 00:17:47,204
Pam texted back saying we
could give them all iPods.

391
00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:50,403
If they don't have an iPod by
now, they really don't want one.

392
00:17:50,478 --> 00:17:53,003
All right. Then we're back to cash.

393
00:17:53,581 --> 00:17:54,639
And I gotta say,

394
00:17:54,715 --> 00:17:56,615
if giving a small
percentage of our commissions

395
00:17:56,684 --> 00:17:58,675
is gonna smooth all
this over, I'm for it.

396
00:17:58,753 --> 00:18:00,653
Okay, fine,
cash it is.

397
00:18:00,721 --> 00:18:02,279
Erin just texted me back.

398
00:18:02,356 --> 00:18:04,847
"People love shells
from faraway beaches."

399
00:18:07,395 --> 00:18:09,625
Okay, Dwight.
All right, Dwight.

400
00:18:09,697 --> 00:18:12,894
Here we go! Here we go! Oh, God!

401
00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:13,956
Oh.

402
00:18:29,750 --> 00:18:31,513
We're never gonna find
those leads, are we?

403
00:18:31,586 --> 00:18:32,644
No.

404
00:18:44,398 --> 00:18:46,059
Amazing, isn't it?

405
00:18:46,868 --> 00:18:49,666
No other animal on Earth
could do this.

406
00:18:49,737 --> 00:18:52,763
Maybe beavers.
But not like this.

407
00:18:56,677 --> 00:19:00,340
So, how about, guys, 1%
commission a month instead of 2%?

408
00:19:00,414 --> 00:19:01,540
What do you think...
No.

409
00:19:01,616 --> 00:19:03,516
No, we agreed 2% for the quarter. Yes.

410
00:19:03,584 --> 00:19:05,950
Okay. Hey, everybody.

411
00:19:06,020 --> 00:19:07,544
Nice spread. We get it.

412
00:19:07,622 --> 00:19:09,681
You eat like royalty.
No, no.

413
00:19:09,757 --> 00:19:12,157
This is a representation
of how we feel,

414
00:19:12,226 --> 00:19:14,490
and how we feel
is really sorry.

415
00:19:14,562 --> 00:19:17,224
Yeah. We wanted to bring you
in and make a peace offering.

416
00:19:17,298 --> 00:19:20,563
Yeah, we wanted to
do the right thing, so...

417
00:19:21,002 --> 00:19:23,232
Way to go, guys.
This...

418
00:19:24,272 --> 00:19:25,671
This was an
integrity move.

419
00:19:25,740 --> 00:19:27,935
Yeah. When we
walked in here,

420
00:19:28,176 --> 00:19:31,009
we were all prepared
to tell you to go to hell.

421
00:19:31,078 --> 00:19:32,670
Do you have any pastries without fruit?

422
00:19:32,747 --> 00:19:35,443
Yes, we do. Eclairs.

423
00:19:37,685 --> 00:19:40,017
Well, you better be
happy, taking 2% of our...

424
00:19:40,087 --> 00:19:42,555
2% milk! What I forgot for the coffee.

425
00:19:42,623 --> 00:19:43,647
Yeah, treats, Stanley.

426
00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:45,715
They've accepted our
simple offer of treats only,

427
00:19:45,793 --> 00:19:47,021
nothing more.

428
00:19:49,430 --> 00:19:53,332
This is nice.
All of us back together.

429
00:19:54,268 --> 00:19:55,530
This?

430
00:19:55,970 --> 00:19:57,164
Why would somebody
throw that out?

431
00:19:57,238 --> 00:19:59,172
Waste.

432
00:20:02,410 --> 00:20:03,468
Hey.

433
00:20:04,378 --> 00:20:06,812
You know who'd
like this? Phyllis.

434
00:20:07,114 --> 00:20:08,103
Purple much?

435
00:20:08,182 --> 00:20:09,308
Yeah, she does.

436
00:20:10,051 --> 00:20:12,781
She loves purple.
Does it stink?

437
00:20:13,487 --> 00:20:14,579
Yeah.

438
00:20:15,656 --> 00:20:18,181
You know what would be
a great picture here?

439
00:20:18,259 --> 00:20:21,626
Just this whole dump, and
in the middle, one flower.

440
00:20:21,696 --> 00:20:23,061
Mmm-hmm.
That's it.

441
00:20:23,664 --> 00:20:24,722
Wow.

442
00:20:26,033 --> 00:20:27,898
And the caption
would read...

443
00:20:27,969 --> 00:20:30,870
"Hope grows."

444
00:20:32,039 --> 00:20:33,563
"In a dump."

445
00:20:40,081 --> 00:20:41,742
Is the good news
that you found our leads?

446
00:20:41,816 --> 00:20:42,976
No. Better.

447
00:20:43,050 --> 00:20:44,415
We have an awesome beanbag chair

448
00:20:44,485 --> 00:20:45,747
that's perfect
for the break room.

449
00:20:45,820 --> 00:20:48,380
I'm never
gonna sit on that disgusting seat.

450
00:20:48,456 --> 00:20:50,981
Yeah, damn right you're not,
'cause it's for me and Michael only!

451
00:20:51,058 --> 00:20:55,017
Yeah!
Yeah!

452
00:20:58,633 --> 00:21:00,225
It's freezing out here.

453
00:21:00,301 --> 00:21:01,393
Yeah!

454
00:21:04,939 --> 00:21:06,099
I have warm blood.

455
00:21:06,874 --> 00:21:09,240
Oh, wow. Thank you.

456
00:21:14,115 --> 00:21:16,276
You're the nicest person
I've ever met.

457
00:21:16,915 --> 00:21:26,915
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