1
00:00:11,713 --> 00:00:12,702
Hello, Dunder Mifflin.

2
00:00:12,781 --> 00:00:14,214
No, no, no. No.

3
00:00:17,553 --> 00:00:19,646
I believe that every man,
woman, and child in this country

4
00:00:19,721 --> 00:00:21,154
should learn how
to speak Spanish.

5
00:00:21,223 --> 00:00:25,489
They are our neighbors to the south,
and this would be a healing thing

6
00:00:26,228 --> 00:00:28,321
for all of North America.

7
00:00:29,665 --> 00:00:33,931
And I am going on vacation
next week to Cancún.

8
00:00:35,870 --> 00:00:41,944
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

9
00:00:48,817 --> 00:00:51,342
I don't understand why Michael
is wasting his time with Spanish.

10
00:00:51,420 --> 00:00:53,854
I have it on very good
authority that within 20 years,

11
00:00:53,922 --> 00:00:56,356
everyone will be
speaking German.

12
00:00:56,758 --> 00:00:58,851
Or a Chinese-German hybrid.

13
00:01:04,333 --> 00:01:08,099
Michael's having a hard time
with the gender part of Spanish.

14
00:01:08,170 --> 00:01:09,728
So, I told him
to mark everything

15
00:01:09,805 --> 00:01:12,330
with the international
symbol for gender.

16
00:01:12,407 --> 00:01:13,567
And...

17
00:01:15,377 --> 00:01:17,311
I should have been
more specific.

18
00:01:17,446 --> 00:01:19,846
Your office is full
of genitalia.

19
00:01:23,819 --> 00:01:24,843
"That's what he says"?

20
00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:26,148
Damn it.

21
00:01:26,455 --> 00:01:27,888
Ah, Angelo!

22
00:01:27,956 --> 00:01:29,048
Angela.

23
00:01:31,026 --> 00:01:33,017
Michael.

24
00:01:58,153 --> 00:02:02,214
All right, so I'll finish up on bulk pricing
and then you go into delivery guarantees.

25
00:02:02,291 --> 00:02:05,783
You know, maybe there's an
opportunity for a joke there, like...

26
00:02:05,861 --> 00:02:08,329
Like, "I just
delivered a baby.

27
00:02:08,830 --> 00:02:11,321
"They didn't offer
me a guarantee."

28
00:02:11,900 --> 00:02:13,595
Yeah. Maybe we don't
even need that.

29
00:02:13,669 --> 00:02:16,763
Can you smell the power?
Halperts, power couple.

30
00:02:16,905 --> 00:02:18,702
You know what? I should be
getting this client, Michael.

31
00:02:18,774 --> 00:02:20,332
My numbers are better
than either of theirs.

32
00:02:20,409 --> 00:02:23,344
I went with the people I thought
would put the best face on the company.

33
00:02:23,412 --> 00:02:25,812
If you want people to put
the best face on something,

34
00:02:25,881 --> 00:02:26,905
why would you
get two people

35
00:02:26,982 --> 00:02:30,884
who probably have never cut the
face off of anything in their lives?

36
00:02:30,953 --> 00:02:31,942
It's a good point.

37
00:02:32,387 --> 00:02:34,321
This is our first
joint sales pitch.

38
00:02:34,389 --> 00:02:35,879
I think we're gonna work
really well together.

39
00:02:35,958 --> 00:02:38,825
Yeah. I think we have
complementary strengths.

40
00:02:38,894 --> 00:02:39,883
We understand
each other.

41
00:02:39,962 --> 00:02:41,793
We have good
give and take.

42
00:02:41,863 --> 00:02:43,490
I give, he takes!

43
00:02:45,133 --> 00:02:47,192
I don't even know
who you are anymore.

44
00:02:51,373 --> 00:02:54,536
Hi. Donna Newton.
Here to see Michael Scott.

45
00:02:55,544 --> 00:02:58,775
Hey, Miss Newton. Hi.
I'm Jim. How are you?

46
00:02:58,847 --> 00:03:01,247
Did somebody order
a hooker over here?

47
00:03:01,316 --> 00:03:02,340
Stop that. Hi.

48
00:03:02,417 --> 00:03:03,714
Hi. How are you?

49
00:03:03,852 --> 00:03:05,820
There's this woman
I met a few weeks ago.

50
00:03:05,887 --> 00:03:09,345
Her name is Donna. Manager
of a Sid and Dexter's.

51
00:03:09,691 --> 00:03:13,525
And right now, we're in the
midst of a passionate love affair.

52
00:03:15,731 --> 00:03:19,724
No, but she is coming by today,
maybe to buy some printers, so...

53
00:03:21,036 --> 00:03:23,903
Right here, we have the wonder
twins, Jim and Pam Halpert.

54
00:03:23,972 --> 00:03:25,599
They will be
assisting you today.

55
00:03:25,674 --> 00:03:27,665
You look exactly alike.

56
00:03:27,743 --> 00:03:29,176
No, we're
actually married.

57
00:03:29,244 --> 00:03:30,506
We're not
brother and sister.

58
00:03:30,579 --> 00:03:32,444
I have a sense about
these things. All right.

59
00:03:32,514 --> 00:03:36,746
You have some ancestors
in common somewhere back.

60
00:03:37,019 --> 00:03:39,613
I knew it. You should see their baby.

61
00:03:41,356 --> 00:03:45,520
So, yes, laser printers are more
expensive, but they cost less to operate,

62
00:03:45,594 --> 00:03:46,788
so it's a trade-off.

63
00:03:46,862 --> 00:03:48,591
Hi. Sorry to interrupt.

64
00:03:48,964 --> 00:03:51,524
Little time sensitive. Do
you, Donna, by any chance

65
00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:53,124
shop at Victoria's Secret?
What?

66
00:03:53,201 --> 00:03:56,364
Because I keep getting
these magazines sent to me

67
00:03:56,772 --> 00:04:00,936
via the address of the woman who
used to live in my condo before me.

68
00:04:01,009 --> 00:04:02,271
None of this
is time sensitive.

69
00:04:02,344 --> 00:04:04,778
Yes, the sale's on
now through May.

70
00:04:04,846 --> 00:04:05,938
Oh, yeah, thank you.

71
00:04:06,014 --> 00:04:07,413
Okay. I have more of them.

72
00:04:07,482 --> 00:04:11,384
You would have weekly conference
calls with executives in corporate,

73
00:04:11,453 --> 00:04:14,320
a two week training program at
the Yale School of Management.

74
00:04:14,389 --> 00:04:18,155
Obviously you would be high on the
list for advancement opportunities.

75
00:04:18,226 --> 00:04:19,284
Sounds all right.

76
00:04:19,361 --> 00:04:20,521
What is this?

77
00:04:20,595 --> 00:04:22,119
This is Print
In All Colors,

78
00:04:22,197 --> 00:04:25,064
Sabre's minority
executive training program.

79
00:04:25,133 --> 00:04:27,431
It doesn't just sound
"aite," it sounds amazing.

80
00:04:27,502 --> 00:04:28,833
I didn't say "aite."

81
00:04:28,904 --> 00:04:30,132
How do I apply?

82
00:04:30,205 --> 00:04:31,797
You have to be a minority.

83
00:04:32,174 --> 00:04:34,642
Glasses wearers,
cholera survivors,

84
00:04:34,710 --> 00:04:37,941
geniuses, non-organic family
farmers. The list goes on and on.

85
00:04:38,013 --> 00:04:39,446
You want me to keep going?
Those don't really count.

86
00:04:39,514 --> 00:04:42,540
We're thinking more ethnic
and racial minorities.

87
00:04:42,617 --> 00:04:44,812
Come here. Come here.

88
00:04:45,620 --> 00:04:48,384
Ten seconds ago this guy
was driving a forklift, okay?

89
00:04:48,457 --> 00:04:53,292
Now, all of a sudden, he's Cinderella of
the office? What are you guys thinking?

90
00:04:53,595 --> 00:04:55,586
I like the sound of this.

91
00:04:55,697 --> 00:04:58,632
Maybe one day I'll be
sitting in Michael's chair.

92
00:04:58,700 --> 00:05:00,429
Wouldn't that be something?

93
00:05:00,502 --> 00:05:03,403
One minority from this branch
is going to get into this program.

94
00:05:03,638 --> 00:05:05,629
Who would I prefer? Hmm.

95
00:05:06,241 --> 00:05:09,768
The competent hardworking one
who does things his own way,

96
00:05:10,112 --> 00:05:14,549
or the malleable simpleton who can
be bought for a few fashion magazines?

97
00:05:15,217 --> 00:05:18,084
This is the second time that
you've sent me the wrong size.

98
00:05:18,153 --> 00:05:19,552
I mean, I know what
a four should feel like.

99
00:05:19,621 --> 00:05:21,111
I've been a four
my whole life.

100
00:05:21,189 --> 00:05:24,488
You know what? You can go to hell,
all right? Thanks for nothing.

101
00:05:24,559 --> 00:05:27,653
Oh, man.
White people, right?

102
00:05:27,729 --> 00:05:28,787
I don't know
if she was white.

103
00:05:29,030 --> 00:05:31,157
Well, you can kind of
tell from their voice.

104
00:05:31,233 --> 00:05:32,325
Yeah.

105
00:05:32,401 --> 00:05:35,666
I bet you get pulled over by the
cops a lot just because of your race.

106
00:05:35,737 --> 00:05:38,570
Well, they say it's because of
texting, but maybe you're right.

107
00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:42,667
I think you should consider applying for
the executive minority training program.

108
00:05:42,744 --> 00:05:44,905
I never thought of myself
as an executive before.

109
00:05:44,980 --> 00:05:46,880
I know, 'cause you
have no role models.

110
00:05:46,948 --> 00:05:49,678
How many Indian CEOs
can you think of?

111
00:05:49,751 --> 00:05:51,878
I can't think of
any CEOs, any race.

112
00:05:51,953 --> 00:05:54,251
You could be
the Indian Bill Gates.

113
00:05:55,123 --> 00:05:57,648
You could be
the Indian Ted Turner.

114
00:05:59,361 --> 00:06:01,886
I could be
the Indian Julia Roberts.

115
00:06:02,364 --> 00:06:05,629
That's not... She's...
Okay. Yes.

116
00:06:06,568 --> 00:06:10,095
I took the liberty to scan a few things
earlier, and I want to show you...

117
00:06:10,172 --> 00:06:13,733
There we go! Look at those
vivid colors. Look at my eyes.

118
00:06:13,875 --> 00:06:15,740
Those are
Shrek-green eyes.

119
00:06:15,811 --> 00:06:20,373
That is me again. I think this
displays the crisp, dazzling white.

120
00:06:21,216 --> 00:06:22,911
And that would
be a display

121
00:06:22,984 --> 00:06:24,110
of the crisp,
gorgeous black.

122
00:06:24,186 --> 00:06:25,278
Yeah.

123
00:06:25,554 --> 00:06:28,614
It's subtle.
It's how it works.

124
00:06:29,090 --> 00:06:30,853
I show her an image
that turns her on,

125
00:06:30,926 --> 00:06:32,917
and then she looks at me,
then she looks at the image,

126
00:06:32,994 --> 00:06:34,359
then back at me,
then back at the image.

127
00:06:34,429 --> 00:06:37,398
Soon she doesn't know what
is me, what is the image,

128
00:06:37,466 --> 00:06:39,491
she just knows
that she's turned on.

129
00:06:40,235 --> 00:06:43,898
This is a place that I like to
go to be alone with my thoughts.

130
00:06:43,972 --> 00:06:46,600
I've never taken
anybody there before.

131
00:06:46,741 --> 00:06:48,766
Who took the photo?
Ryan.

132
00:06:48,844 --> 00:06:49,868
Oh.

133
00:06:50,445 --> 00:06:51,935
And that's it.

134
00:06:53,682 --> 00:06:56,242
That's me.
That's who I am.

135
00:06:56,918 --> 00:06:59,011
Not bad.

136
00:06:59,087 --> 00:07:00,554
Oh, thanks.

137
00:07:01,156 --> 00:07:02,589
You're not bad, either.

138
00:07:02,657 --> 00:07:03,817
Thank you.

139
00:07:10,966 --> 00:07:12,092
Oh, my God.

140
00:07:12,167 --> 00:07:14,465
Jim, could you come
in here for a sec?

141
00:07:15,737 --> 00:07:18,069
What was that printer
we were looking at?

142
00:07:20,108 --> 00:07:22,008
You didn't see it, Pam.

143
00:07:22,177 --> 00:07:24,702
She was giving me all sorts of signals
that she wanted me to make a move.

144
00:07:24,779 --> 00:07:25,837
Shortbread?
No.

145
00:07:25,914 --> 00:07:27,347
I'll have one.

146
00:07:27,415 --> 00:07:29,849
Well, maybe you shouldn't
try to kiss people at work.

147
00:07:29,918 --> 00:07:32,352
Oh, really, Jim?
What about Pam?

148
00:07:32,420 --> 00:07:34,411
And you did a heck
of a lot more than kiss.

149
00:07:34,489 --> 00:07:35,820
Maybe this could
be my Pam.

150
00:07:35,891 --> 00:07:37,381
Okay, well,
all that is irrelevant...

151
00:07:37,459 --> 00:07:39,484
Maybe Michael
has a point.

152
00:07:39,828 --> 00:07:43,855
I mean, if she was really that
upset, she wouldn't still be here.

153
00:07:44,299 --> 00:07:46,267
Was it professional? No.

154
00:07:47,636 --> 00:07:50,764
But I work in the nightlife
industry. I get hit on all the time.

155
00:07:50,839 --> 00:07:53,967
In my 20s,
it would've been annoying.

156
00:07:54,042 --> 00:07:56,101
In my late 20s,
I find it really flattering.

157
00:07:56,878 --> 00:07:58,846
Look, I know that
I screwed up in there.

158
00:07:58,914 --> 00:08:00,609
I know that I probably
messed up your sale.

159
00:08:00,682 --> 00:08:02,149
I just want to go
in and fix it.

160
00:08:02,217 --> 00:08:04,742
What if I back out and you
finish the pitch with Jim?

161
00:08:04,819 --> 00:08:05,911
What?

162
00:08:06,621 --> 00:08:08,248
What was that?
Just let him flirt with her.

163
00:08:08,323 --> 00:08:10,257
People meet each
other all sorts of ways.

164
00:08:10,325 --> 00:08:13,260
Pam, you know he's not gonna get
anywhere and he's gonna blow our sale.

165
00:08:13,328 --> 00:08:14,727
Who cares?
It's not that huge a sale.

166
00:08:14,796 --> 00:08:17,890
Hey, the Schwab guy told us to treat
every sale like it was a huge sale.

167
00:08:17,966 --> 00:08:21,333
Don't act like you understood
anything that guy said.

168
00:08:22,904 --> 00:08:24,633
Good luck, wingman.

169
00:08:27,342 --> 00:08:29,902
How has being
a minority affected you?

170
00:08:29,978 --> 00:08:31,536
Well, there's a lot of
pressure from my parents

171
00:08:31,613 --> 00:08:33,945
to settle down
and marry an Indian guy.

172
00:08:34,015 --> 00:08:36,347
Oh, good. And you
resent this because...

173
00:08:36,418 --> 00:08:40,047
Indian guys always wear their cell
phones outside their pants. It's so dorky.

174
00:08:40,121 --> 00:08:44,785
No, no, no. That's not dorky. Look,
it's easily accessible. Boom. Like this.

175
00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:47,651
911, hello. Scranton
Strangler's in the house.

176
00:08:47,729 --> 00:08:49,356
Inside the house!

177
00:08:50,265 --> 00:08:52,130
Just put it
in your pocket.

178
00:08:53,735 --> 00:08:56,932
Look at that. She's
totally flirting with him.

179
00:08:57,105 --> 00:09:00,905
You don't know that. Some people
can't help oozing sexuality.

180
00:09:01,576 --> 00:09:03,976
You ever notice you can
only ooze two things?

181
00:09:04,045 --> 00:09:07,014
Sexuality and pus.
Man, I tell you.

182
00:09:07,549 --> 00:09:09,881
She just crossed her
arms together. That's bad.

183
00:09:09,951 --> 00:09:14,285
Maybe she's just pushing her breasts
together to make them look bigger.

184
00:09:18,893 --> 00:09:20,019
Like that?

185
00:09:20,095 --> 00:09:22,529
Is this the best
you can do right now?

186
00:09:22,597 --> 00:09:23,996
For that printer, yes.

187
00:09:24,199 --> 00:09:26,633
Unfortunately we don't
have a lot of flexibility.

188
00:09:26,701 --> 00:09:30,467
Oh. Well, I guess I'm just used
to the restaurant business where,

189
00:09:30,538 --> 00:09:33,268
if you're in charge then
you can always get discounts

190
00:09:33,341 --> 00:09:34,535
for the people
that you like.

191
00:09:34,609 --> 00:09:35,871
Yeah.

192
00:09:36,411 --> 00:09:39,005
Maybe we can find
a little wiggle room, right?

193
00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:40,104
What's that?

194
00:09:40,181 --> 00:09:41,773
Maybe we can find some
wiggle room.

195
00:09:41,850 --> 00:09:43,010
I don't...
I don't think so.

196
00:09:43,084 --> 00:09:44,949
I think we could.

197
00:09:46,888 --> 00:09:50,517
I don't see how we could possibly sell
these for that little without losing money.

198
00:09:50,592 --> 00:09:52,082
Delivery alone will cost...

199
00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:53,388
Okay, well, sometimes,

200
00:09:53,461 --> 00:09:58,660
sometimes it makes financial sense to
lose money, right? Like, for tax purposes.

201
00:09:58,900 --> 00:10:01,994
Actually, I ran the numbers
on this, and in this case,

202
00:10:02,070 --> 00:10:03,833
it makes more financial
sense to gain money.

203
00:10:03,905 --> 00:10:04,929
Why don't you
run them again?

204
00:10:05,006 --> 00:10:07,304
What if she's just flirting
with you to get a better price?

205
00:10:07,375 --> 00:10:08,535
If she is,
it's working.

206
00:10:08,610 --> 00:10:12,546
Yeah, Michael, here's a trick.
Ask her if she wants a mint.

207
00:10:13,014 --> 00:10:16,882
If she says no, then
she is not interested.

208
00:10:16,951 --> 00:10:18,782
She does not like him.

209
00:10:18,853 --> 00:10:23,552
You can flirt with someone to get what
you want and also be attracted to them.

210
00:10:23,625 --> 00:10:24,990
How do you think
we got together?

211
00:10:25,060 --> 00:10:26,823
'Cause I stopped by your
desk, like, 15 times a day.

212
00:10:26,895 --> 00:10:28,726
I was after your money.

213
00:10:28,797 --> 00:10:29,991
Well, the joke was on you.

214
00:10:30,065 --> 00:10:31,430
Yes, it was.

215
00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:33,833
Can you stop
micromanaging?

216
00:10:33,902 --> 00:10:35,733
I know how to do this.
You're yelling... Okay. Okay.

217
00:10:35,804 --> 00:10:36,793
What are you guys doing?

218
00:10:36,871 --> 00:10:38,600
This girl was really rude
to me at the mall,

219
00:10:38,673 --> 00:10:41,574
so I created a fake IM account
from a hot guy at her high school,

220
00:10:41,643 --> 00:10:43,076
and now I'm trying
to make her anorexic.

221
00:10:43,144 --> 00:10:45,374
Tell her everyone in
homeroom thinks she's fat.

222
00:10:45,447 --> 00:10:46,471
That is so good.

223
00:10:46,548 --> 00:10:48,641
You know, we really should keep
practicing for this interview.

224
00:10:48,717 --> 00:10:50,184
Oh, that's okay.
Ryan coached me.

225
00:10:50,251 --> 00:10:52,116
Ryan? What does he know?

226
00:10:52,187 --> 00:10:54,246
It's easy. You just turn
every question around on them.

227
00:10:54,322 --> 00:10:56,119
Do you think you're treated
differently because of your race?

228
00:10:56,191 --> 00:10:58,853
Would you ask that same
question if I was white?

229
00:10:58,927 --> 00:11:00,622
We're so in.
We?

230
00:11:01,096 --> 00:11:03,462
When I become executive,
I'm gonna make Ryan manager.

231
00:11:03,531 --> 00:11:06,364
And then the two of us
are cleaning house.

232
00:11:07,001 --> 00:11:08,992
Kelly will be
even worse than Darryl.

233
00:11:09,304 --> 00:11:10,464
If you'd have told
me this morning

234
00:11:10,538 --> 00:11:14,269
that today I'd be creating a monster
capable of my own destruction,

235
00:11:14,342 --> 00:11:18,244
I'd have thought you were referring to the
bull Mose and I are trying to reanimate.

236
00:11:18,513 --> 00:11:23,314
"So, corporate approval of this contract
is contingent upon buyer and seller

237
00:11:23,384 --> 00:11:26,217
"obtaining..."
Blah-de-blah-de-blah.

238
00:11:26,287 --> 00:11:29,552
"Boilerplate, pound
of fish." Just kidding.

239
00:11:30,558 --> 00:11:32,526
Do you like mints?
Yes.

240
00:11:32,594 --> 00:11:34,425
I carry mints
with me sometimes.

241
00:11:34,496 --> 00:11:35,690
Oh, I haven't
tried those.

242
00:11:35,764 --> 00:11:36,788
Ever tried those?
No.

243
00:11:36,865 --> 00:11:37,889
They're good.

244
00:11:37,966 --> 00:11:38,990
You want one?

245
00:11:40,268 --> 00:11:42,099
Sure.
It's like...

246
00:11:43,538 --> 00:11:47,269
"Cool... Certified cool." I
like how they say "certified."

247
00:11:48,276 --> 00:11:51,109
Like there's some
consortium of...

248
00:11:53,548 --> 00:11:54,606
Michael!

249
00:11:54,682 --> 00:11:55,842
I'm sorry.

250
00:11:57,018 --> 00:11:58,451
I can't stop myself
from kissing her.

251
00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:02,581
Yeah. Now you know how I feel
sitting next to those M&M's all day.

252
00:12:02,957 --> 00:12:04,390
Well, why don't you
just move the M&M's?

253
00:12:04,459 --> 00:12:05,892
Why don't you shut up?

254
00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:10,090
Okay. Guys, guys, guys, just tell me it's
not totally insane to try one more time.

255
00:12:10,165 --> 00:12:11,189
It is totally insane.

256
00:12:11,266 --> 00:12:13,791
Michael, he's right. You
are turning into a stalker.

257
00:12:13,868 --> 00:12:15,699
Okay.
What do you think?

258
00:12:16,104 --> 00:12:17,435
I think it's over, man.

259
00:12:17,772 --> 00:12:18,864
Andy?

260
00:12:21,276 --> 00:12:22,334
Okay, some for,
some against.

261
00:12:22,410 --> 00:12:23,434
Nobody's for.

262
00:12:23,511 --> 00:12:24,569
Pam.
Hmm?

263
00:12:24,646 --> 00:12:25,738
What do you think?

264
00:12:27,549 --> 00:12:28,743
I think it's really,
really unlikely.

265
00:12:28,817 --> 00:12:29,841
Okay.

266
00:12:29,918 --> 00:12:31,510
Really unlikely.

267
00:12:32,253 --> 00:12:33,811
But I can't say
that it's impossible.

268
00:12:33,888 --> 00:12:35,082
What?

269
00:12:35,256 --> 00:12:37,247
I'm not saying
she's in love with him,

270
00:12:37,325 --> 00:12:39,657
but she could have
left a while ago.

271
00:12:39,727 --> 00:12:43,128
Most printer sales are done
over the phone, Miss Boob Shirt.

272
00:12:43,264 --> 00:12:44,891
I'm going
with Pam's group.

273
00:12:44,966 --> 00:12:46,900
Wait. Michael.

274
00:12:48,069 --> 00:12:49,434
Okay.
Michael. Michael.

275
00:12:49,504 --> 00:12:53,463
No. Guys, guys, guys, guys,
just thank you for talking.

276
00:12:54,709 --> 00:12:56,370
Wish me luck.
- No.

277
00:12:56,711 --> 00:12:59,544
What sort of movie would Rudy
have been if he had just stopped

278
00:12:59,614 --> 00:13:02,048
and given up
after two rejections?

279
00:13:04,152 --> 00:13:07,349
Would have been a lot shorter,
probably been a lot funnier,

280
00:13:07,422 --> 00:13:10,687
but it would have ultimately
been a disappointment.

281
00:13:10,892 --> 00:13:16,592
I still would have seen it,
but that's not the point.

282
00:13:19,601 --> 00:13:21,865
Kelly is disqualified.
What?

283
00:13:22,070 --> 00:13:24,061
You said the program
is not open to Caucasians.

284
00:13:24,138 --> 00:13:27,972
Well, anthropologically,
she is Indian.

285
00:13:28,042 --> 00:13:31,170
Indians migrated from the
Caucasus region of Europe.

286
00:13:31,246 --> 00:13:34,579
Therefore, technically, she is
Caucasian. You're welcome, America.

287
00:13:34,649 --> 00:13:36,139
Yeah, but she's
not white, though.

288
00:13:36,217 --> 00:13:38,617
Well, obviously
she's brownish,

289
00:13:38,686 --> 00:13:41,655
but come on. I mean,
Darryl is far more ethnic.

290
00:13:41,723 --> 00:13:43,520
Darryl withdrew
his application.

291
00:13:43,591 --> 00:13:48,426
The dates of the Yale program interfered
with his softball league, so he's gone.

292
00:13:49,163 --> 00:13:51,757
I got my whole life
to be a minority executive.

293
00:13:51,833 --> 00:13:54,495
I only have about a year
left in these knees, though.

294
00:13:54,669 --> 00:13:56,569
So Kelly is
the only applicant.

295
00:13:56,638 --> 00:13:58,629
Yeah, unless somebody
else applies today.

296
00:14:02,010 --> 00:14:04,638
Oh, dear God. Okay.

297
00:14:06,147 --> 00:14:09,878
Don't make any decisions just
yet. Okay? I'll be right back.

298
00:14:11,452 --> 00:14:12,612
Hello.

299
00:14:12,687 --> 00:14:15,178
That's very nice. I
never noticed that before.

300
00:14:15,256 --> 00:14:16,883
Sometimes my bangs cover it.

301
00:14:16,958 --> 00:14:21,224
Yeah. I don't want to be offensive,
but may I ask you what that means?

302
00:14:21,329 --> 00:14:23,820
I do find that offensive,
actually.

303
00:14:24,732 --> 00:14:27,792
We should have your
contract done by Thursday.

304
00:14:28,236 --> 00:14:31,228
Oh, great! Great. I will
look out for that stuff, then.

305
00:14:31,306 --> 00:14:32,796
Okay.
And...

306
00:14:33,741 --> 00:14:37,768
You know, I just wanted to say it was
really, really nice to do business with you.

307
00:14:37,845 --> 00:14:40,712
Yeah. It was nice to do
business with you, too.

308
00:14:40,782 --> 00:14:42,113
Thank you.

309
00:14:43,418 --> 00:14:44,976
Did I get everything?

310
00:14:45,053 --> 00:14:46,111
I don't know.

311
00:14:46,187 --> 00:14:47,279
I think so.

312
00:14:47,355 --> 00:14:48,413
Yeah, I think so.

313
00:14:49,157 --> 00:14:50,249
Okay.

314
00:14:52,894 --> 00:14:54,953
So... Oh! Donna?
- Yeah.

315
00:14:55,029 --> 00:14:57,691
Do you need validation?
We don't validate.

316
00:14:57,765 --> 00:14:58,925
No. It's just
in the lot, so...

317
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:00,126
Thank you so much.

318
00:15:00,201 --> 00:15:03,932
You're welcome.
You're welcome.

319
00:15:04,405 --> 00:15:05,565
Mmm.

320
00:15:06,908 --> 00:15:07,966
Bye.

321
00:15:10,011 --> 00:15:13,003
So, if you have...

322
00:15:13,081 --> 00:15:14,981
If there's any other
questions that you have...

323
00:15:15,049 --> 00:15:18,712
I don't have any
other questions.

324
00:15:19,187 --> 00:15:22,987
I'm just gonna make
my way down to...

325
00:15:23,057 --> 00:15:24,581
Okay.
All right. Bye.

326
00:15:24,659 --> 00:15:25,785
Bye-bye.

327
00:15:25,860 --> 00:15:27,157
Have a good elevator ride.

328
00:15:27,228 --> 00:15:28,252
Okay.

329
00:15:30,598 --> 00:15:32,498
What's that out there?

330
00:15:37,138 --> 00:15:39,038
Michael,
how did it go?

331
00:15:42,343 --> 00:15:45,870
How would one of you feel if I told
you I could put you on a fast track

332
00:15:45,947 --> 00:15:48,211
to an executive position
at this company?

333
00:15:48,282 --> 00:15:50,307
Holy cow.
I'd be so happy.

334
00:15:50,585 --> 00:15:51,950
I wasn't talking to you,
pale face.

335
00:15:52,020 --> 00:15:53,851
I know. I meant
I'd be happy for them.

336
00:15:53,921 --> 00:15:58,119
What I'm offering is a ticket on a bullet
train straight to middle management.

337
00:15:58,192 --> 00:16:00,422
Dwight, I know
these programs.

338
00:16:00,495 --> 00:16:04,591
Every color is important, because
together we make a rainbow.

339
00:16:04,732 --> 00:16:05,756
Yes.

340
00:16:05,833 --> 00:16:07,130
I'll slap you in the
face with a rainbow.

341
00:16:07,201 --> 00:16:08,566
Mmm.

342
00:16:09,237 --> 00:16:13,503
Speaking of rainbows, Oscar, you
are kind of a double minority.

343
00:16:14,375 --> 00:16:15,433
Gay.

344
00:16:15,510 --> 00:16:18,240
So, we at Sabre could really
benefit from your perspective.

345
00:16:18,312 --> 00:16:20,542
Dwight, we know
Kelly applied.

346
00:16:22,350 --> 00:16:25,285
We're not going to cross her, no
matter how good the program is.

347
00:16:25,353 --> 00:16:26,718
I can protect
you from Kelly.

348
00:16:27,855 --> 00:16:29,516
Will you get out
of here? Seriously.

349
00:16:29,824 --> 00:16:33,521
For hobbies, yoga,
belly dancing,

350
00:16:33,828 --> 00:16:36,388
snake-charming, beds of
nails, I like lying...

351
00:16:36,464 --> 00:16:40,958
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
This is Hidetosha Hacigawa.

352
00:16:41,035 --> 00:16:43,765
He would like to apply for the Sabre
Minority Executive Training Program,

353
00:16:43,838 --> 00:16:45,066
Print In All
Colors initiative.

354
00:16:45,139 --> 00:16:46,470
Dwight, what
are you doing?

355
00:16:46,541 --> 00:16:50,136
Helping heal America in a dramatic
fashion in the eleventh hour.

356
00:16:50,211 --> 00:16:52,145
God, I hate you so much.

357
00:16:52,213 --> 00:16:53,976
Caucasians.
Am I right?

358
00:16:55,349 --> 00:16:56,543
Have a seat.
I'll translate.

359
00:16:56,617 --> 00:16:58,141
Why? I don't
need translator...

360
00:16:58,219 --> 00:17:00,813
You don't know
what you need, just...

361
00:17:00,888 --> 00:17:03,516
Why don't you tell me
a little about yourself, Hide.

362
00:17:25,546 --> 00:17:26,911
Hey, Michael,
how you doing?

363
00:17:26,981 --> 00:17:29,176
I don't know.
I don't know.

364
00:17:29,617 --> 00:17:31,175
Can't really trust
my feelings anymore.

365
00:17:31,252 --> 00:17:34,915
You know what, Michael? For what
it's worth, I was wrong, too.

366
00:17:34,989 --> 00:17:36,547
I thought she was
interested in you.

367
00:17:36,624 --> 00:17:39,787
She suckered you, too?
Was it the cleavage?

368
00:17:39,861 --> 00:17:41,692
Yeah, and the shoulder cutouts. Yep.

369
00:17:41,762 --> 00:17:44,356
Michael, you know,
it's easy to get fooled.

370
00:17:44,432 --> 00:17:48,698
Bob's warehouse guys flirt with me
all the time. It's mostly harmless.

371
00:17:49,170 --> 00:17:50,899
Usually I don't
let it go too far.

372
00:17:50,972 --> 00:17:54,100
You know, when I tore
my scrote, I was...

373
00:17:55,143 --> 00:17:59,273
I was seeing this really hot urologist
about it and thought she was into me,

374
00:17:59,347 --> 00:18:03,613
but now I think she was just doing
a bunch of stuff to bill my HMO.

375
00:18:03,684 --> 00:18:06,118
You know, she's touching
around down there.

376
00:18:06,187 --> 00:18:07,848
It's easy to
get confused.

377
00:18:07,922 --> 00:18:09,412
Michael, I think
Donna left this here.

378
00:18:09,490 --> 00:18:12,584
Should I put it in the lost and found
for 14 days and then I can take it home?

379
00:18:12,660 --> 00:18:13,718
God.

380
00:18:15,096 --> 00:18:17,087
She left this here? Okay.

381
00:18:18,666 --> 00:18:21,396
Maybe she wants me to return
this to her at her work.

382
00:18:21,469 --> 00:18:22,663
What? No.
No.

383
00:18:22,737 --> 00:18:23,726
No.

384
00:18:23,804 --> 00:18:25,203
Yeah. This could
be a signal.

385
00:18:25,540 --> 00:18:27,405
People don't just
take barrettes off.

386
00:18:27,475 --> 00:18:29,739
It's not a signal.
It's just a coincidence.

387
00:18:29,810 --> 00:18:31,004
No, it's not even
a coincidence.

388
00:18:31,078 --> 00:18:32,306
It's just something
that happened.

389
00:18:32,380 --> 00:18:33,540
Michael.
Well...

390
00:18:33,614 --> 00:18:38,051
She doesn't want you to return the
barrette. She's not interested in you.

391
00:18:39,253 --> 00:18:41,244
I know. I know. I know.
I'm sorry.

392
00:18:41,322 --> 00:18:44,780
I know. You're right. Thank
you. Thanks, everybody.

393
00:18:47,061 --> 00:18:48,085
No.

394
00:18:48,796 --> 00:18:50,024
Michael!

395
00:18:58,973 --> 00:19:00,201
Michael!

396
00:19:01,375 --> 00:19:04,572
Oh, you're still here.
I have your baguette.

397
00:19:06,447 --> 00:19:09,075
Everyone, it is my
pleasure to announce

398
00:19:09,150 --> 00:19:12,381
our newest member of the Sabre
Minority Executive Training Program,

399
00:19:12,453 --> 00:19:14,478
Kelly Rajanigandha Kapoor.

400
00:19:17,725 --> 00:19:19,852
They're going to be pretty
pleased in Tallahassee

401
00:19:19,927 --> 00:19:22,361
that I snagged
an Indian for the program.

402
00:19:22,430 --> 00:19:24,591
She'll be the first.
The program's mostly black.

403
00:19:24,665 --> 00:19:26,530
It's almost too black.

404
00:19:27,802 --> 00:19:29,770
That didn't sound right.

405
00:19:30,304 --> 00:19:32,898
And the best part is, is
that I get a business stipend

406
00:19:32,974 --> 00:19:34,874
to buy all new clothes.
- Awesome.

407
00:19:34,942 --> 00:19:36,534
So you can totally buy
any of my old clothes

408
00:19:36,611 --> 00:19:37,669
that I'm not gonna
need anymore.

409
00:19:37,745 --> 00:19:38,837
Oh, my God,
thank you so much.

410
00:19:38,913 --> 00:19:41,905
I love that denim jumpsuit
you have. How much?

411
00:19:42,350 --> 00:19:45,842
Actually, I was thinking about clothes that
I was just going to give to Goodwill anyway.

412
00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:47,649
Great.
Hey, kiddo.

413
00:19:48,923 --> 00:19:51,915
Congratulations are in order.
You deserve it.

414
00:19:55,663 --> 00:19:57,324
Thank you, Dwight.
Oh.

415
00:19:57,765 --> 00:19:59,665
I'll never forget everything
that you've done for me.

416
00:19:59,734 --> 00:20:01,463
Gosh.

417
00:20:01,535 --> 00:20:02,968
Because I never
forget anything.

418
00:20:05,673 --> 00:20:09,905
Just once I would like to be a puppet
master and have nothing go wrong.

419
00:20:09,977 --> 00:20:11,672
Is that too much to ask?

420
00:20:11,879 --> 00:20:16,282
You know what? Everybody told me that
you weren't interested. Everybody.

421
00:20:16,350 --> 00:20:18,375
And I didn't believe them.

422
00:20:19,387 --> 00:20:21,150
And they were right.

423
00:20:22,456 --> 00:20:25,016
So, here's your barrette.

424
00:20:26,527 --> 00:20:28,961
No, you were right.

425
00:20:29,997 --> 00:20:31,931
Who?
You were right.

426
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:34,192
About what?

427
00:20:34,268 --> 00:20:35,530
You were right.

428
00:20:42,243 --> 00:20:44,268
I'm sorry.
No. No. No.

429
00:20:44,345 --> 00:20:45,812
I'm...
Nope.

430
00:20:52,620 --> 00:20:53,644
What happened?

431
00:20:53,721 --> 00:20:55,518
Kelly got into the
minority training program.

432
00:20:55,589 --> 00:20:59,889
Really? Oh, that's great.
That's such good news. I did it.

433
00:21:01,362 --> 00:21:02,727
I kissed. We kissed.

434
00:21:02,797 --> 00:21:03,855
Oh, Michael...

435
00:21:03,931 --> 00:21:06,297
No, I'm serious.
The... This happened.

436
00:21:07,101 --> 00:21:11,265
I went down to the parking lot and
I was... I returned her barrette.

437
00:21:15,409 --> 00:21:16,501
We...

438
00:21:17,411 --> 00:21:19,606
We did. Okay.
We did. We did.

439
00:21:20,381 --> 00:21:21,905
You know what?
It doesn't matter,

440
00:21:21,982 --> 00:21:25,611
because I know what happened,
and that is all that counts.

441
00:21:27,421 --> 00:21:28,820
I did do it!

442
00:21:29,175 --> 00:21:39,175
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