1
00:00:05,690 --> 00:00:11,764
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

2
00:00:14,570 --> 00:00:16,060
Stop it!
Stop what?

3
00:00:16,138 --> 00:00:18,106
You're talking
about me in Morse Code.

4
00:00:18,173 --> 00:00:20,607
But you know what? Joke's on
you 'cause I know Morse Code.

5
00:00:20,676 --> 00:00:21,665
Ha!

6
00:00:22,978 --> 00:00:24,536
Yeah, that's what
we're doing.

7
00:00:24,913 --> 00:00:27,507
In our very limited free time
and with our very limited budget,

8
00:00:27,583 --> 00:00:30,347
we went and got a nanny, and
then we went out and took a class

9
00:00:30,419 --> 00:00:33,320
on a very outmoded and very
unnecessary form of communication

10
00:00:33,388 --> 00:00:35,948
just so we can talk
about you in front of you.

11
00:00:36,558 --> 00:00:38,856
Yep, that's exactly
what we did.

12
00:00:39,895 --> 00:00:43,558
It all started when Dwight was tapping
his foot against the leg of his desk.

13
00:00:43,899 --> 00:00:45,161
When I asked him
to stop, he said,

14
00:00:45,234 --> 00:00:48,397
"I will when you
lose the baby weight."

15
00:00:50,105 --> 00:00:54,098
Very well. I must have
imagined it. I apologize.

16
00:01:07,222 --> 00:01:10,385
Detonator? Detonator. Where?

17
00:01:10,926 --> 00:01:12,188
Michael!

18
00:01:12,561 --> 00:01:15,530
Jim, are you
clicking a detonator?

19
00:01:16,231 --> 00:01:17,823
It's a pen.
Michael, come on.

20
00:01:17,900 --> 00:01:20,232
Get back to work,
Dwight. Please.

21
00:01:22,538 --> 00:01:23,527
Fine.

22
00:01:27,409 --> 00:01:29,741
Hey, tap away.

23
00:02:06,915 --> 00:02:07,142
Whoo!

24
00:02:08,016 --> 00:02:11,850
Things with Donna are so...
They're going great!

25
00:02:13,322 --> 00:02:17,315
I... We're just
clicking on every level.

26
00:02:18,026 --> 00:02:22,759
Emotionally, and sexually, and orally.

27
00:02:23,065 --> 00:02:27,968
And I am not used to
relationships going this well.

28
00:02:28,036 --> 00:02:31,335
I'm actually having trouble
focusing on my job.

29
00:02:32,140 --> 00:02:34,768
And I like it

30
00:02:35,010 --> 00:02:37,740
Who enjoys the weekends?

31
00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:42,043
Of course. Now the
weekend is always great

32
00:02:42,117 --> 00:02:46,213
if you have someone, which I
do. I have Donna, she is hot.

33
00:02:46,455 --> 00:02:47,820
She has a Pilates butt.

34
00:02:47,889 --> 00:02:51,290
But we need to find something to
do this weekend beside have sex.

35
00:02:52,094 --> 00:02:53,459
Did I say that?
Yes, I did.

36
00:02:53,528 --> 00:02:56,497
And the reason you are here
is that I need ideas

37
00:02:56,565 --> 00:02:59,363
for things that Donna and I can do
on the weekend. So just shout it out.

38
00:02:59,434 --> 00:03:01,265
I have an idea for your weekend. Okay.

39
00:03:01,336 --> 00:03:03,531
Let me go back to my
desk right now. Okay.

40
00:03:03,605 --> 00:03:05,800
You get out of here,
big dog.

41
00:03:05,874 --> 00:03:07,808
No, no, no, no, you guys
sit down. I need ideas.

42
00:03:07,876 --> 00:03:08,865
Stanley got to go.

43
00:03:08,944 --> 00:03:10,309
Yeah, Well, Stanley
doesn't help with anything.

44
00:03:10,379 --> 00:03:11,641
Come on, shout them out.
Shout them out.

45
00:03:11,713 --> 00:03:12,975
Walk around apple orchards.
Oh!

46
00:03:13,048 --> 00:03:14,310
Super romantic.
That's fun.

47
00:03:14,383 --> 00:03:15,509
Eel fishing.
All right.

48
00:03:15,584 --> 00:03:17,211
Curl up with
your favorite DVD.

49
00:03:17,286 --> 00:03:18,719
You and Donna
should hit the Poconos.

50
00:03:18,787 --> 00:03:21,551
They have heart-shaped
Jacuzzis, room enough for three.

51
00:03:21,623 --> 00:03:23,784
We actually went to the
Poconos last Tuesday.

52
00:03:23,859 --> 00:03:28,762
We headed up there, we went to a
little Chinese bistro, P.F. Chang's.

53
00:03:29,064 --> 00:03:31,157
Why would you go all the way
to the Poconos to P.F. Chang's

54
00:03:31,233 --> 00:03:32,962
when we have
the Great Wall in Scranton?

55
00:03:33,168 --> 00:03:34,601
Because when your
super-hot girlfriend

56
00:03:34,670 --> 00:03:36,035
says, "I want to
go to Mount Pocono,"

57
00:03:36,104 --> 00:03:38,902
you go to Mount Pocono,
and you do her.

58
00:03:38,974 --> 00:03:41,238
And we screwed. Whoops!
TMI!

59
00:03:41,310 --> 00:03:43,574
Wait, that's crazy far. Are
you sure she's not cheating?

60
00:03:43,645 --> 00:03:45,772
You know what, Kelly,
this is the real world.

61
00:03:45,847 --> 00:03:48,281
Not,
The Real World, Scranton.

62
00:03:48,350 --> 00:03:49,908
Oh, my God,
this is super weird.

63
00:03:49,985 --> 00:03:51,043
When Ryan had
two girlfriends,

64
00:03:51,119 --> 00:03:52,814
he used to take me to
some diner in Hazleton

65
00:03:52,888 --> 00:03:54,014
just so the other
girl wouldn't see.

66
00:03:54,089 --> 00:03:56,557
Some diner?
It was the Starlight Diner.

67
00:03:56,625 --> 00:03:59,685
It's in a Life magazine
spread about Americana.

68
00:03:59,761 --> 00:04:01,422
You guys think
Donna's cheating on me?

69
00:04:01,697 --> 00:04:03,631
No. Michael, no.

70
00:04:03,699 --> 00:04:07,100
You had a nice meal with your
girlfriend in a lovely place.

71
00:04:07,169 --> 00:04:08,761
And sex. We had sex, too. That is right.

72
00:04:08,837 --> 00:04:10,737
Don't make any more of it.
How?

73
00:04:10,806 --> 00:04:12,899
How what? How do I not
make any more of it?

74
00:04:12,974 --> 00:04:14,805
You could start by
concluding this meeting.

75
00:04:14,876 --> 00:04:15,900
All right.

76
00:04:16,211 --> 00:04:19,112
Okay. And she won't say, "I love you."

77
00:04:19,181 --> 00:04:20,170
Oh, no.

78
00:04:20,248 --> 00:04:21,545
How many dates
have you been on?

79
00:04:21,616 --> 00:04:24,244
Nine dates. I said
it on the second date.

80
00:04:24,820 --> 00:04:28,347
That seems quick,
even for lesbians.

81
00:04:28,557 --> 00:04:30,616
Does she keep her phone
locked around you, Michael?

82
00:04:30,692 --> 00:04:33,024
Does she watch how much she
drinks around you, Michael?

83
00:04:33,095 --> 00:04:34,995
Does she leave the room
when she takes phone calls?

84
00:04:35,063 --> 00:04:37,531
Does she keep perfume in her
purse? Does she shower before sex?

85
00:04:37,599 --> 00:04:39,430
Does she shower
after sex? Does she...

86
00:04:39,501 --> 00:04:40,798
Yeah, she does all that.

87
00:04:40,869 --> 00:04:42,097
Sorry, dude.
Oh, no, no, no, no.

88
00:04:42,170 --> 00:04:44,070
Michael, do not let
your imagination run amok.

89
00:04:44,139 --> 00:04:45,401
Run what?
Amok.

90
00:04:45,474 --> 00:04:47,601
It means don't let your
imagination run out of control.

91
00:04:47,676 --> 00:04:49,371
Why didn't you
just say that, Pam?

92
00:04:49,444 --> 00:04:51,605
Michael, do not let your
imagination run out of control.

93
00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:53,113
Well, that's easy
for you to say.

94
00:04:53,181 --> 00:04:55,081
You have a bad imagination, it's stupid.

95
00:04:55,150 --> 00:04:56,640
I live in a fantasy world.

96
00:04:56,718 --> 00:04:57,844
You do?

97
00:04:57,919 --> 00:04:59,648
Yes, Jim, I do.

98
00:04:59,721 --> 00:05:01,552
And I can't stay
in a relationship

99
00:05:01,623 --> 00:05:03,420
that is full of
lies and deceit.

100
00:05:03,492 --> 00:05:05,323
But you didn't believe any of
this was true five minutes ago.

101
00:05:05,394 --> 00:05:07,521
That's what makes it so raw.

102
00:05:07,596 --> 00:05:09,928
Ever since I found out that
Donna might be cheating on me,

103
00:05:09,998 --> 00:05:12,023
I have not eaten or slept.

104
00:05:13,435 --> 00:05:16,404
It's the not knowing,
that's what's killing me.

105
00:05:19,708 --> 00:05:22,074
Oh, God, that tickles.
What do you...

106
00:05:22,978 --> 00:05:25,242
I want
someone to follow Donna.

107
00:05:25,313 --> 00:05:26,644
I want her tailed.

108
00:05:27,749 --> 00:05:29,774
I need the name of a
good private investigator.

109
00:05:30,085 --> 00:05:32,246
I think
I've got one for you.

110
00:05:33,688 --> 00:05:35,451
This is you.
How much do you charge?

111
00:05:35,524 --> 00:05:37,082
$100 a day plus expenses.

112
00:05:37,159 --> 00:05:38,524
I'll give you 50.
Money's no object.

113
00:05:38,593 --> 00:05:39,651
Done.

114
00:05:39,728 --> 00:05:41,958
I'm just going to warn you, and
I say this to all my clients,

115
00:05:42,030 --> 00:05:43,361
you might not
like what I find.

116
00:05:43,432 --> 00:05:44,490
Okay.

117
00:05:44,566 --> 00:05:47,000
And you might not
like how I find it.

118
00:05:50,772 --> 00:05:53,104
Of course.
Yeah, that's terrible.

119
00:05:53,175 --> 00:05:55,370
Okay, let me get back to you.

120
00:05:56,478 --> 00:05:59,743
Hey, Stanley, one of my clients just
called and said that their Sabre printer

121
00:05:59,815 --> 00:06:02,079
started smoking
and caught on fire.

122
00:06:02,484 --> 00:06:06,511
My doctor told me to cut out
hotdogs. We all got problems.

123
00:06:09,891 --> 00:06:12,860
Hey, Gabe, I need to talk to you
about something. It's really important.

124
00:06:12,928 --> 00:06:14,987
There's no way that you guys
have any almond butter, right?

125
00:06:15,063 --> 00:06:17,258
Yeah, I don't know. Look,
one of my clients called.

126
00:06:17,332 --> 00:06:18,594
He was in the middle
of a big printing job

127
00:06:18,667 --> 00:06:20,567
and the back of the
printer started smoking

128
00:06:20,635 --> 00:06:22,296
and then the paper
tray caught on fire.

129
00:06:22,537 --> 00:06:25,631
That's weird. I haven't
heard of that happening.

130
00:06:25,841 --> 00:06:27,468
I would even settle
for apricot preserves.

131
00:06:27,809 --> 00:06:28,969
What are we going
to do about this?

132
00:06:29,044 --> 00:06:31,604
I don't know. Call HQ,
see if they know anything.

133
00:06:32,347 --> 00:06:36,841
Yeah, that's what I'll
do today. All right.

134
00:06:36,918 --> 00:06:38,408
Let me know what they say.

135
00:06:40,689 --> 00:06:43,317
Wow, that dude is good.

136
00:06:43,391 --> 00:06:44,517
What do you mean?

137
00:06:44,759 --> 00:06:46,818
You didn't feel like
he was hiding something?

138
00:06:47,095 --> 00:06:48,153
I don't know.

139
00:06:48,230 --> 00:06:50,858
Like he was
covering something up?

140
00:06:51,500 --> 00:06:52,489
Maybe.

141
00:07:02,577 --> 00:07:04,670
Two years ago,
Andy blamed the warehouse

142
00:07:04,746 --> 00:07:07,271
for a late shipment
that he forgot to process.

143
00:07:07,349 --> 00:07:10,341
We got yelled at pretty bad,
almost lost my job.

144
00:07:10,418 --> 00:07:12,784
Man, I was mad as
hell at the time.

145
00:07:12,854 --> 00:07:16,221
But I said, "Darryl,
just wait. He's a fool.

146
00:07:16,291 --> 00:07:19,783
"There's going to be an
opportunity. Just be patient."

147
00:07:22,597 --> 00:07:23,791
Hey, stranger.

148
00:07:23,865 --> 00:07:25,958
Oh, hi.
You work for Michael.

149
00:07:26,034 --> 00:07:27,934
I work with Michael.
Right.

150
00:07:28,003 --> 00:07:29,834
Dwight Schrute.
Donna, hi.

151
00:07:30,005 --> 00:07:32,098
All cases are
solved with logic.

152
00:07:32,173 --> 00:07:35,665
The only logical way to find out if
Donna is a cheater is to seduce her,

153
00:07:35,744 --> 00:07:39,908
bring her to orgasm, then call
Michael and tell him the sad news.

154
00:07:41,349 --> 00:07:43,112
Wow. It's a little early for
ice cream, don't you think?

155
00:07:43,184 --> 00:07:45,652
It's never too early
for ice cream, Jim.

156
00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:47,711
But we didn't
have any ice cream,

157
00:07:47,789 --> 00:07:49,518
so this is mayonnaise
and black olives.

158
00:07:49,591 --> 00:07:50,615
Oh!
Oh, my God.

159
00:07:50,692 --> 00:07:51,852
It's comfort food,
all right?

160
00:07:52,460 --> 00:07:53,484
God!

161
00:07:53,562 --> 00:07:55,427
Michael, this whole Donna
thing is going to be okay.

162
00:07:55,497 --> 00:07:56,896
You just...
Stop beating yourself up.

163
00:07:56,965 --> 00:07:58,626
I know. Well,
I hope you're right.

164
00:07:58,700 --> 00:07:59,724
We'll see what Dwight says.

165
00:07:59,801 --> 00:08:01,029
Why do we have to
see what Dwight says?

166
00:08:01,102 --> 00:08:02,831
Because I have him
investigating her.

167
00:08:02,904 --> 00:08:04,030
I'm waiting for
a text update.

168
00:08:04,105 --> 00:08:05,265
Michael,
no, no, no, no, no, no.

169
00:08:05,340 --> 00:08:06,466
No, no, no, no, no.
Undo that.

170
00:08:06,541 --> 00:08:08,736
Undo that.
It's too late to undo it.

171
00:08:08,810 --> 00:08:11,643
I need to know, otherwise this
thing is going to spiral out of amok.

172
00:08:11,713 --> 00:08:14,910
Michael, okay, I'm going
to talk straight to you

173
00:08:14,983 --> 00:08:16,245
because I think you need
to hear it. Michael...

174
00:08:16,318 --> 00:08:17,615
This
is so disgusting.

175
00:08:17,686 --> 00:08:20,484
Stop eating it.
Do you want to be happy?

176
00:08:20,555 --> 00:08:24,321
Look at you. You have a major
self-destructive streak in you.

177
00:08:24,593 --> 00:08:26,220
I know.
And you...

178
00:08:26,294 --> 00:08:29,923
You kind of torpedo every
romantic relationship you're in.

179
00:08:29,998 --> 00:08:31,158
That's not true.

180
00:08:34,402 --> 00:08:36,302
You're right.
I ruin everything.

181
00:08:37,238 --> 00:08:39,172
And I have known
some wonderful women.

182
00:08:39,407 --> 00:08:41,534
Holly, Carole, Jan.

183
00:08:41,610 --> 00:08:42,736
Helene.

184
00:08:42,811 --> 00:08:43,869
Helene?

185
00:08:43,945 --> 00:08:45,640
My mother.
Oh!

186
00:08:45,714 --> 00:08:46,703
My mother, Helene.

187
00:08:46,781 --> 00:08:48,408
Oh, yeah. Yes, yes, yes.

188
00:08:48,483 --> 00:08:51,475
All of the greatest
loves of my life.

189
00:08:51,886 --> 00:08:56,152
You should stop this. You
should call Dwight right now.

190
00:08:57,993 --> 00:08:59,324
All right.

191
00:09:05,266 --> 00:09:07,894
Oh, gosh, we're both going for
the same weight at the same time.

192
00:09:07,969 --> 00:09:09,061
You go ahead.
Thank you.

193
00:09:09,137 --> 00:09:10,229
It's all yours.

194
00:09:28,156 --> 00:09:29,145
You okay?

195
00:09:29,224 --> 00:09:30,452
Yeah, I'm good.

196
00:09:30,725 --> 00:09:33,523
Hey, you know an exercise for two
people that uses the whole body?

197
00:09:35,430 --> 00:09:37,398
Yeah, I think I know
what you're talking about.

198
00:09:37,465 --> 00:09:39,296
Tractor pull.

199
00:09:39,367 --> 00:09:41,460
Too bad there's
not a tractor here.

200
00:09:49,310 --> 00:09:50,709
One thing you need
to know about me,

201
00:09:50,779 --> 00:09:53,043
I don't quit until
something tears or pops.

202
00:09:54,783 --> 00:09:57,081
You look like you're
getting a good workout.

203
00:09:57,185 --> 00:09:58,209
Can I feel your pulse?

204
00:09:58,286 --> 00:10:00,186
Nope,
I'm good. Thanks.

205
00:10:00,255 --> 00:10:01,483
Really?

206
00:10:01,723 --> 00:10:02,985
Hey. All right.

207
00:10:03,058 --> 00:10:04,582
Young man, can you
wipe down that seat?

208
00:10:04,659 --> 00:10:05,956
Get out of my way.

209
00:10:06,094 --> 00:10:09,086
Tomorrow's
fertilizer, am I right?

210
00:10:09,297 --> 00:10:10,321
I'm out of here.

211
00:10:10,398 --> 00:10:11,763
Donna, Donna, wait. Please.

212
00:10:11,833 --> 00:10:13,528
I'm sorry, okay?

213
00:10:13,601 --> 00:10:16,729
Listen, we both know
why I'm here.

214
00:10:17,072 --> 00:10:20,235
To see you naked

215
00:10:20,508 --> 00:10:24,342
while I'm naked.

216
00:10:24,779 --> 00:10:27,213
You stay away from me
or I'm calling security.

217
00:10:28,349 --> 00:10:29,907
Donna, come...

218
00:10:32,921 --> 00:10:34,115
You're back. What happened?

219
00:10:34,289 --> 00:10:36,814
I pulled muscles in both my
thighs. Thanks for asking.

220
00:10:36,891 --> 00:10:38,324
No. What happened with Donna?

221
00:10:38,393 --> 00:10:40,088
Yeah, no.
She's not cheating.

222
00:10:40,228 --> 00:10:43,459
Oh, man! Will you help me
work out this knot? Right here.

223
00:10:43,565 --> 00:10:45,533
Put your fingers here.
Ugh! No, no.

224
00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:46,828
Are you sure?
I'm positive.

225
00:10:46,901 --> 00:10:50,029
Yeah, here's your expense
receipts. Right there.

226
00:10:50,105 --> 00:10:51,766
Who eats eight
protein bars?

227
00:10:52,707 --> 00:10:54,004
People who don't
trust egg whites.

228
00:10:54,075 --> 00:10:56,509
Okay. Well, I am just
glad this is all over.

229
00:10:56,578 --> 00:10:57,636
Oh! Me, too.

230
00:10:57,712 --> 00:10:59,543
And by the way,
I told her not to,

231
00:10:59,614 --> 00:11:01,343
but she's coming over
here and she's furious.

232
00:11:01,616 --> 00:11:03,243
What? No, she didn't
say that. You're right.

233
00:11:04,018 --> 00:11:05,679
I was paraphrasing.

234
00:11:06,087 --> 00:11:08,612
What she actually said was,
"What is with him?

235
00:11:08,690 --> 00:11:11,056
"He is crazy. I'm coming
over there to talk to him."

236
00:11:11,359 --> 00:11:12,849
And this was after
I had no other recourse

237
00:11:12,927 --> 00:11:14,895
but to tell her
and gym security

238
00:11:14,963 --> 00:11:17,898
that you had sent me there
to see if she was cheating.

239
00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:22,502
Also, I joined the gym.
You'll be billed monthly.

240
00:11:25,406 --> 00:11:27,931
I am not
paying for that membership.

241
00:11:37,018 --> 00:11:39,612
Maybe you'd be more
comfortable in your own office.

242
00:11:39,687 --> 00:11:41,917
No, I like the attention.

243
00:11:44,325 --> 00:11:45,314
Is she here yet?

244
00:11:45,393 --> 00:11:46,451
No.

245
00:11:47,629 --> 00:11:49,062
Wait, yes.
That's her?

246
00:11:49,130 --> 00:11:50,654
Yeah.

247
00:11:51,766 --> 00:11:52,790
Mmm-hmm.

248
00:11:52,867 --> 00:11:57,031
Right. Right. Right.
Okay, I'll talk to you later.

249
00:12:01,176 --> 00:12:03,235
How could you think
I would cheat on you?

250
00:12:03,311 --> 00:12:05,779
I didn't, everybody
else here did.

251
00:12:05,847 --> 00:12:09,044
Everybody convinced me
that something was up.

252
00:12:09,117 --> 00:12:10,675
They poisoned my mind.

253
00:12:10,752 --> 00:12:11,878
That's pathetic.

254
00:12:13,354 --> 00:12:15,754
Well, no, it's a lie.

255
00:12:16,424 --> 00:12:17,823
That's not what happened.

256
00:12:18,226 --> 00:12:21,127
I just like you. I can't
believe I get to be with you.

257
00:12:22,096 --> 00:12:24,257
You work at
an adult arcade.

258
00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:26,665
You could have
any man you want.

259
00:12:27,669 --> 00:12:32,072
When I tell you I like you,
you need to trust me.

260
00:12:32,273 --> 00:12:33,740
Not some freak.

261
00:12:35,076 --> 00:12:36,737
If you want to dump me,
I totally get it.

262
00:12:36,811 --> 00:12:38,335
I told you I like you.

263
00:12:39,647 --> 00:12:42,548
Well, you are bonerific.

264
00:12:45,954 --> 00:12:50,084
Hey, if I said that we should go
away for a couple days, you would...

265
00:12:50,425 --> 00:12:51,483
Poop my pants.

266
00:12:51,559 --> 00:12:53,390
Have you ever
been to Vero Beach?

267
00:12:53,461 --> 00:12:55,258
Oh, my God, Vero Beach?

268
00:12:55,330 --> 00:12:58,231
No. Is that on the water?

269
00:12:58,299 --> 00:12:59,288
We're going.

270
00:12:59,367 --> 00:13:00,493
We are?
Yeah.

271
00:13:00,568 --> 00:13:02,035
What's up?
I read your e-mail.

272
00:13:02,103 --> 00:13:03,764
Close the door.

273
00:13:04,239 --> 00:13:05,763
Okay.

274
00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:09,207
I don't have a plan exactly,
more of a loose structure.

275
00:13:10,044 --> 00:13:13,172
Gives me freedom to
improvise. It's like jazz.

276
00:13:20,021 --> 00:13:21,249
I'll figure something out.

277
00:13:21,823 --> 00:13:23,586
Some freaky stuff going on.

278
00:13:23,658 --> 00:13:25,853
I was walking by Gabe
and I heard some things.

279
00:13:26,227 --> 00:13:27,558
Such as?

280
00:13:27,629 --> 00:13:29,961
It was kind of mumbled.
I don't know.

281
00:13:30,031 --> 00:13:34,400
The only thing I could make out
clearly was, "Andy, problem, eliminate."

282
00:13:34,469 --> 00:13:35,561
Something. I don't
know what it meant.

283
00:13:35,637 --> 00:13:37,229
What? You don't
know what it meant?

284
00:13:37,305 --> 00:13:40,866
How about, "Andy is a problem
and we must eliminate him."

285
00:13:41,209 --> 00:13:43,370
Oh! I hadn't even
thought of that.

286
00:13:43,444 --> 00:13:45,071
Yeah.

287
00:13:50,318 --> 00:13:51,979
Oh, hey,
I love your earrings.

288
00:13:52,053 --> 00:13:53,111
Thank you.

289
00:13:53,187 --> 00:13:54,814
Did Michael
get them for you?

290
00:13:54,889 --> 00:13:56,914
No, I bought them myself.

291
00:13:57,292 --> 00:13:58,520
Where?

292
00:13:58,693 --> 00:14:00,251
Steamtown Mall.

293
00:14:00,328 --> 00:14:03,058
Claire's? Zales? Ricky's?
Earrings, Earrings, Earrings?

294
00:14:03,131 --> 00:14:04,655
Fancy Girl? Platinum Cat?

295
00:14:04,799 --> 00:14:05,823
Where?

296
00:14:05,900 --> 00:14:08,198
You know, I actually
got them in Philadelphia.

297
00:14:08,269 --> 00:14:09,463
In a mall down there.

298
00:14:09,537 --> 00:14:10,561
Franklin Mills?

299
00:14:10,638 --> 00:14:13,801
King of Prussia?
Springfield? Governor's Place?

300
00:14:14,409 --> 00:14:15,842
Franklin Mills.

301
00:14:19,747 --> 00:14:20,941
What?
Hmm.

302
00:14:21,683 --> 00:14:22,672
Oh!

303
00:14:23,484 --> 00:14:25,145
It's probably nothing.

304
00:14:25,219 --> 00:14:29,280
Okay, heart-shaped jewelry is not
something that a woman buys for herself,

305
00:14:29,357 --> 00:14:32,121
a man definitely
bought it for her recently,

306
00:14:32,193 --> 00:14:34,093
and it wasn't Michael.

307
00:14:34,329 --> 00:14:36,957
Wait, so you like heart-shaped
jewelry, though, right?

308
00:14:37,031 --> 00:14:38,396
No.

309
00:14:38,499 --> 00:14:40,899
Except for the pendant
that you bought me.

310
00:14:40,969 --> 00:14:42,493
Which I love.

311
00:14:45,106 --> 00:14:46,095
Psst!

312
00:14:53,848 --> 00:14:56,009
Creed's head
of Quality Assurance,

313
00:14:56,417 --> 00:14:58,317
so he'd definitely
be wrapped up in this.

314
00:14:58,686 --> 00:15:00,984
So there I am
minding my own business,

315
00:15:01,055 --> 00:15:03,319
and Darnell offers me
three bucks.

316
00:15:03,391 --> 00:15:06,292
All I've got to do is walk
by Andy and go like this.

317
00:15:06,361 --> 00:15:09,262
Darnell's a chump. I
would've done it for anything.

318
00:15:09,330 --> 00:15:11,264
I've done a lot
more for a lot less.

319
00:15:13,334 --> 00:15:17,395
So, it turns out Donna and I have
a Facebook friend of a friend in common,

320
00:15:17,472 --> 00:15:20,703
so I was able to see
some of her pictures online.

321
00:15:21,909 --> 00:15:24,070
This was taken
two weeks ago.

322
00:15:25,113 --> 00:15:28,446
And this was
taken the same night.

323
00:15:30,251 --> 00:15:32,719
This photo was
taken this morning.

324
00:15:33,287 --> 00:15:34,652
It's Cece.

325
00:15:34,722 --> 00:15:37,452
She's never going
to do anything wrong.

326
00:15:37,558 --> 00:15:40,493
Isn't that something?
Wow. That's exciting.

327
00:15:40,561 --> 00:15:42,324
Hey, Michael.
Hey.

328
00:15:42,430 --> 00:15:43,954
Sorry to interrupt you.

329
00:15:44,032 --> 00:15:46,364
I actually have something very
important to talk to you about.

330
00:15:46,434 --> 00:15:47,628
Well, it can wait.
Business related.

331
00:15:47,702 --> 00:15:49,465
It can wait.
I lied, it's personal.

332
00:15:49,537 --> 00:15:50,834
It's about me
and Jim, we're...

333
00:15:50,905 --> 00:15:53,203
You're the only
person I can talk to.

334
00:15:53,274 --> 00:15:55,139
Jim is her husband.
Oh.

335
00:15:55,209 --> 00:15:56,836
And... And they're
having problems...

336
00:15:56,911 --> 00:15:58,401
No, no, we're not...
and so she comes to me.

337
00:15:58,479 --> 00:16:00,811
We're not having problems,
but it is personal.

338
00:16:00,882 --> 00:16:02,782
And I was...
In bed.

339
00:16:03,985 --> 00:16:07,751
Yes, yes, I desperately
want to speak with you

340
00:16:07,822 --> 00:16:09,380
about my sex life with Jim.

341
00:16:09,457 --> 00:16:11,721
Oh, my God, look at how
cheap street-level rooms are.

342
00:16:11,793 --> 00:16:14,489
Am I the only person
who enjoys people-watching?

343
00:16:14,562 --> 00:16:15,995
I need you to sign this!

344
00:16:16,597 --> 00:16:18,531
So bad!
Okay, weirdo.

345
00:16:19,300 --> 00:16:21,564
I love...
This idea is neat.

346
00:16:21,636 --> 00:16:22,625
I've never been.
Yeah.

347
00:16:22,703 --> 00:16:23,761
It sounds lovely.

348
00:16:23,838 --> 00:16:25,965
Yeah, I think it'll be a nice
trip. We're going to get a lot done.

349
00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:28,031
You're going to want to
look at the date on that.

350
00:16:29,077 --> 00:16:30,908
Oh! Wow. Look at golfing.

351
00:16:30,978 --> 00:16:32,036
Are you a golfer?

352
00:16:32,113 --> 00:16:33,637
I am, but I gave
my clubs away.

353
00:16:33,714 --> 00:16:35,204
Swear too much.

354
00:16:39,287 --> 00:16:40,311
Hey, you okay?

355
00:16:40,388 --> 00:16:43,323
Yeah, I just remembered that
I have to go to the bathroom.

356
00:16:43,391 --> 00:16:44,790
Pam?
Absolutely.

357
00:16:48,196 --> 00:16:51,029
Look, I'm not down anymore, so if
the guys start making fun of you,

358
00:16:51,099 --> 00:16:52,964
you've just gotta
stand up for yourself.

359
00:16:53,301 --> 00:16:56,031
- I know. It's just, I'm scared...
- I got your text.

360
00:16:56,104 --> 00:16:57,230
It said, "911."

361
00:16:57,839 --> 00:16:59,067
Glen, could you
excuse us?

362
00:17:05,646 --> 00:17:07,079
It's bad.
What's bad?

363
00:17:07,148 --> 00:17:08,137
It's real bad.

364
00:17:08,216 --> 00:17:09,410
Still no plan.

365
00:17:09,684 --> 00:17:11,618
Oh, God.
It's getting bigger.

366
00:17:11,686 --> 00:17:15,554
I might have to go public here, but
no one's going to believe me. Uh...

367
00:17:15,623 --> 00:17:17,887
I need proof. I need, like,
a printer to catch on fire.

368
00:17:17,959 --> 00:17:19,586
I can videotape it.
Yeah.

369
00:17:22,663 --> 00:17:23,789
There it is.

370
00:17:23,865 --> 00:17:24,957
There what is?

371
00:17:25,133 --> 00:17:26,259
What?

372
00:17:26,467 --> 00:17:29,265
Who the hell is this?
Who is this guy?

373
00:17:29,337 --> 00:17:30,827
I don't know who it is.
God!

374
00:17:30,905 --> 00:17:32,998
Lowest of the low, that guy.

375
00:17:33,074 --> 00:17:34,541
Just a notch above Toby.

376
00:17:34,609 --> 00:17:35,701
You know what?
What?

377
00:17:35,776 --> 00:17:38,939
I'm going to kill him.
No, I'm not. I feel... No.

378
00:17:39,013 --> 00:17:41,106
I'm not going to kill him.

379
00:17:41,182 --> 00:17:43,013
You just have to go in there.
You have to hear it from her.

380
00:17:43,084 --> 00:17:45,109
I have to hear it from her. But
you have to settle down first.

381
00:17:45,186 --> 00:17:47,848
I need to have her
tell me herself. Okay.

382
00:17:47,922 --> 00:17:48,911
Okay.
Right?

383
00:17:48,990 --> 00:17:50,048
Yes.
I need to have her say...

384
00:17:50,124 --> 00:17:51,716
I need to say, "What the
hell is that? Calm down first.

385
00:17:51,792 --> 00:17:53,054
"What the hell is that?"
Hey, look at this.

386
00:17:53,127 --> 00:17:54,287
Look at this baby picture.

387
00:17:54,362 --> 00:17:55,795
Oh, God,
no. Oh, my God.

388
00:17:55,863 --> 00:17:56,921
Hi, Michael.

389
00:17:56,998 --> 00:17:58,829
Hi, Michael.
Okay.

390
00:17:58,900 --> 00:18:00,060
Okay.

391
00:18:00,701 --> 00:18:01,861
Okay.

392
00:18:02,370 --> 00:18:06,329
I talked to corporate. Turns out there
have been 12 reports of faulty printers.

393
00:18:06,407 --> 00:18:07,806
Out of 400,000.

394
00:18:08,543 --> 00:18:10,704
We've investigated. Every
time it's been user error.

395
00:18:10,778 --> 00:18:12,746
They block the vents
or something, I don't know.

396
00:18:12,813 --> 00:18:14,405
That's why we have
the fine print.

397
00:18:14,782 --> 00:18:16,340
Thank you for bringing
this to our attention.

398
00:18:16,417 --> 00:18:17,907
So, I'd like to
reward you for that.

399
00:18:21,422 --> 00:18:24,755
That's good for five bucks at
Dunkin' Donuts. Any Dunkin' Donuts.

400
00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:26,749
Oh.

401
00:18:37,371 --> 00:18:39,805
You know what? We should really
do something fun this week.

402
00:18:40,007 --> 00:18:41,269
Yeah.
Wouldn't that be fun?

403
00:18:41,342 --> 00:18:42,536
Yeah.

404
00:18:42,610 --> 00:18:43,804
How about Thursday?

405
00:18:43,878 --> 00:18:45,038
Thursday works, yeah.

406
00:18:45,112 --> 00:18:47,478
What do you want to do? I
can't do it Thursday, book club.

407
00:18:47,548 --> 00:18:48,947
How about Friday?

408
00:18:49,016 --> 00:18:50,643
Oh! Friday doesn't work.

409
00:18:50,718 --> 00:18:54,154
Oh, really? 'Cause I was thinking
we could go to this concert.

410
00:18:54,222 --> 00:18:57,749
Spice Girls are opening
for Weird Al. Front row.

411
00:18:57,825 --> 00:18:59,452
Be a great, great concert.

412
00:18:59,527 --> 00:19:01,119
Shoot. I'm working.

413
00:19:01,229 --> 00:19:02,924
Oh! Okay, well,
maybe I should stop by.

414
00:19:04,098 --> 00:19:05,531
Well, won't you
be at the concert?

415
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:06,999
Nope, that's Tuesday.

416
00:19:07,134 --> 00:19:08,624
Well, I can make it
on Tuesday.

417
00:19:09,303 --> 00:19:10,895
You're cheating.

418
00:19:12,807 --> 00:19:14,206
You're cheating on me.

419
00:19:16,644 --> 00:19:18,509
How do you know?

420
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:20,338
Pam told me.

421
00:19:22,450 --> 00:19:24,247
Did she see me?

422
00:19:24,819 --> 00:19:26,047
Nice effort.

423
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:29,346
We're printing on 24-pound
premium stock paper,

424
00:19:29,423 --> 00:19:33,120
approximately 300 sheets in.
So far no signs of distress.

425
00:19:33,194 --> 00:19:35,162
You haven't even
introduced yourself. Right.

426
00:19:35,229 --> 00:19:37,754
My name is Andrew Baines Bernard
and if you're watching this,

427
00:19:37,832 --> 00:19:40,357
it's because I've turned state's
witness, because I'm in danger,

428
00:19:40,434 --> 00:19:41,765
because I know too much.

429
00:19:41,936 --> 00:19:43,062
You should talk
in a higher voice

430
00:19:43,137 --> 00:19:44,729
'cause the camera
makes you sound weird.

431
00:19:44,805 --> 00:19:45,794
Higher, okay?

432
00:19:45,873 --> 00:19:48,341
Recently certain events
have come to my attention...

433
00:19:48,442 --> 00:19:49,431
Higher.
Make it higher?

434
00:19:49,510 --> 00:19:53,139
Okay. I have come to
the conclusion that the Sabre Corporation...

435
00:19:53,214 --> 00:19:54,238
One more, yeah.

436
00:19:54,315 --> 00:19:56,783
May be
overlooking certain safety regulations.

437
00:19:56,851 --> 00:19:58,614
At the danger...

438
00:20:00,888 --> 00:20:01,877
It's smoking.

439
00:20:02,990 --> 00:20:04,514
I knew it!

440
00:20:05,092 --> 00:20:07,720
This...
We are blowing the roof off!

441
00:20:08,663 --> 00:20:10,597
Blowing the roof off!

442
00:20:11,799 --> 00:20:13,767
Nice, nice.

443
00:20:13,968 --> 00:20:16,562
This is my partner,
Darryl Philbin.

444
00:20:16,637 --> 00:20:19,105
He's been my partner
through this entire thing.

445
00:20:19,173 --> 00:20:21,471
I don't want to
prank anymore.

446
00:20:21,842 --> 00:20:24,174
Things get real.
It's not funny.

447
00:20:24,679 --> 00:20:27,739
I'm just going to be good.
Stay in my room,

448
00:20:27,815 --> 00:20:31,012
go to church, try to do
one nice thing per day.

449
00:20:31,519 --> 00:20:34,647
I do not want
to prank anymore.

450
00:20:36,090 --> 00:20:37,250
Who is he?

451
00:20:38,159 --> 00:20:39,717
Wait, what do you mean?
The other man.

452
00:20:39,794 --> 00:20:41,318
Who's the guy?
Who is it?

453
00:20:41,896 --> 00:20:44,296
It's you. I'm married.

454
00:20:47,201 --> 00:20:48,930
I'm the mistress?

455
00:20:51,305 --> 00:20:53,466
Okay, everybody,
let's take this next hill!

456
00:20:53,541 --> 00:20:56,510
Excuse me. Yeah, I'd appreciate
it if you'd just let me run this.

457
00:20:56,577 --> 00:20:58,670
You know what? You had your
chance, you're no leader.

458
00:20:58,746 --> 00:21:00,714
Up, out of your seat! Let's
blast! Don't listen to him.

459
00:21:00,781 --> 00:21:03,579
We're approaching a
cool-down, down a gentle hill.

460
00:21:03,651 --> 00:21:06,347
No! The hill's a trap. Let's take
the dirt road off to the side.

461
00:21:06,420 --> 00:21:08,251
No, guys, no.
We're just cooling down.

462
00:21:08,322 --> 00:21:10,256
If they catch us,
they will rape us.

463
00:21:10,324 --> 00:21:14,283
Go for the cliff.
And three, two, one, jump!

464
00:21:14,462 --> 00:21:17,590
No! You're dead, you're
dead, you're dead. Good jump.

465
00:21:17,832 --> 00:21:21,131
You're barely alive.
Okay, now, nice cool-down.

466
00:21:21,202 --> 00:21:22,226
Check your pulse rate.

467
00:21:22,995 --> 00:21:32,995
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