1 00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:06,701 Wow! Late every day this week. 2 00:00:06,769 --> 00:00:08,566 We signed Cece up for this daycare, 3 00:00:08,638 --> 00:00:09,832 and it's on the other side of town. 4 00:00:09,906 --> 00:00:11,931 The traffic... Why didn't I think of this before? 5 00:00:12,008 --> 00:00:14,408 Did you know that there is a daycare center 6 00:00:14,477 --> 00:00:16,138 opening right here in this building? 7 00:00:16,613 --> 00:00:17,637 Is there really? 8 00:00:17,947 --> 00:00:20,848 Now that I own the building, I'm looking for new sources of revenue. 9 00:00:20,917 --> 00:00:22,714 And a daycare center? 10 00:00:28,358 --> 00:00:29,620 Well, I guess it's not an evil idea. 11 00:00:29,692 --> 00:00:34,026 It's just a regular idea, but there's no good laugh for a regular idea. 12 00:00:35,465 --> 00:00:37,797 Welcome to the Sesame Avenue Daycare Center 13 00:00:37,867 --> 00:00:39,858 for infants and toddlers. 14 00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:44,902 You remember my cousin Mose? 15 00:00:44,974 --> 00:00:46,202 Welcome, children. 16 00:00:46,276 --> 00:00:47,868 Were you painting in the dark? 17 00:00:48,578 --> 00:00:50,205 Wait, is this your place, Dwight? 18 00:00:50,413 --> 00:00:52,608 No, no, I like to think of it as the kids' place. 19 00:00:52,682 --> 00:00:53,808 Would you like a tour? 20 00:00:54,350 --> 00:00:55,339 I don't think we really need it... 21 00:00:55,418 --> 00:00:56,578 Ooh, let's take the tour, Pam. 22 00:00:56,653 --> 00:00:57,779 Yeah. Come on. 23 00:00:58,888 --> 00:01:02,324 Here is the language skills and cognitive development area. 24 00:01:02,392 --> 00:01:04,883 These are English letters. 25 00:01:05,261 --> 00:01:07,092 I see you found our magical toy box, Jim. 26 00:01:07,163 --> 00:01:09,063 These are actually forks and knives from the break room. 27 00:01:09,332 --> 00:01:12,165 Jim, to you and me, maybe. But, come on. 28 00:01:12,235 --> 00:01:14,066 To a child's imagination, that's Mr. Fork, 29 00:01:14,137 --> 00:01:16,537 and Lieutenant Knife and Miss Fork. 30 00:01:16,773 --> 00:01:18,673 And a soy sauce packet. 31 00:01:21,644 --> 00:01:23,475 That shouldn't have been in there. I'm embarrassed. 32 00:01:23,546 --> 00:01:24,706 Don't beat yourself up. 33 00:01:24,781 --> 00:01:27,511 We come fully equipped with a restroom, 34 00:01:27,584 --> 00:01:29,449 feeding trough, play bucket, 35 00:01:29,786 --> 00:01:31,583 and room for a plant, in success. 36 00:01:31,654 --> 00:01:32,814 Who will be watching the children? 37 00:01:32,889 --> 00:01:35,449 No one. The door locks from the outside. Escape is impossible. 38 00:01:35,658 --> 00:01:37,091 Prove it. 39 00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:39,287 What... No. We're gonna head outside. 40 00:01:39,362 --> 00:01:41,728 Just give it a whirl. I just wanna see how it works. 41 00:01:41,798 --> 00:01:43,322 No, no, no, I... But I'll tell you this. 42 00:01:43,399 --> 00:01:46,163 If this works out, I think we're looking real good. 43 00:01:46,236 --> 00:01:48,534 I promise you, that door locks. 44 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:55,874 Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers. 45 00:02:27,343 --> 00:02:29,675 What's something you did... This is the worst! This is the worst! 46 00:02:29,746 --> 00:02:31,805 You are the worst. I hate looking at your face. 47 00:02:31,881 --> 00:02:33,212 I wanna smash it! 48 00:02:33,283 --> 00:02:35,649 Okay, you know what? I made a mistake. 49 00:02:35,718 --> 00:02:37,345 I committed corporate punishment. 50 00:02:37,420 --> 00:02:39,251 My bad. 51 00:02:39,322 --> 00:02:41,756 It's over, it's done. 52 00:02:41,824 --> 00:02:47,990 But, my punishment is worse than hell. 53 00:02:48,498 --> 00:02:50,864 Michael's been assigned six hours of mandatory counseling 54 00:02:50,967 --> 00:02:52,127 with a trained professional. 55 00:02:52,335 --> 00:02:54,394 I actually have a degree in social work. 56 00:02:54,504 --> 00:02:57,837 I mean, I know a lot of people would just ask a few standard questions 57 00:02:57,907 --> 00:02:59,465 and tick off a few boxes, 58 00:03:00,176 --> 00:03:02,804 but I've got a chance to do some good here. 59 00:03:02,879 --> 00:03:05,814 I know what you wanna ask me. 60 00:03:05,882 --> 00:03:07,315 "Did your mom ever see you naked?" 61 00:03:07,550 --> 00:03:09,643 We can do this with more privacy. 62 00:03:09,986 --> 00:03:11,214 So you can molest me? 63 00:03:11,454 --> 00:03:12,944 Okay. I don't think so. 64 00:03:13,656 --> 00:03:14,748 We're gonna leave the blinds open, 65 00:03:14,824 --> 00:03:17,156 so everybody can see what a big failure you are. 66 00:03:21,564 --> 00:03:22,997 That's the key. 67 00:03:24,300 --> 00:03:26,131 Boycott the Steamtown Mall! 68 00:03:26,769 --> 00:03:28,293 Everyone, you heard me. 69 00:03:28,371 --> 00:03:30,999 Cancel all your businesses with the Steamtown Mall! 70 00:03:31,074 --> 00:03:33,235 The mall itself, or the stores in the mall? 71 00:03:33,309 --> 00:03:35,777 All of it! The mall, the stores, the kiosks. 72 00:03:35,845 --> 00:03:37,210 America's one big mall. 73 00:03:37,313 --> 00:03:38,337 Did something happen, Dwight? 74 00:03:38,414 --> 00:03:40,541 Yeah, something happened. Oh, yeah. 75 00:03:40,616 --> 00:03:41,947 Something happened, Jim. 76 00:03:42,018 --> 00:03:43,007 Well, tell us what it is. 77 00:03:43,086 --> 00:03:46,283 I mean, it'll help to get some context so we can get on board. 78 00:03:46,356 --> 00:03:47,414 You don't wanna know. 79 00:03:48,925 --> 00:03:52,053 I'd like you to imagine a place where you feel very peaceful. 80 00:03:52,829 --> 00:03:56,060 For me, it's the walk from the yogurt shop to my car, 81 00:03:56,132 --> 00:03:58,794 after I drop my daughter off on Sunday afternoons. 82 00:04:03,206 --> 00:04:05,800 I'm glad Michael's getting help. 83 00:04:05,875 --> 00:04:08,673 He has a lot of issues and he's stupid. 84 00:04:08,745 --> 00:04:13,648 Look, I'm not gonna tell you that we have lower prices. 85 00:04:13,716 --> 00:04:16,651 Is price something that is important to you? 86 00:04:18,154 --> 00:04:21,089 Okay, well, let me know if anything changes. 87 00:04:24,627 --> 00:04:25,651 Pam? 88 00:04:27,263 --> 00:04:29,026 I can't do this. 89 00:04:29,098 --> 00:04:32,795 I don't have this sales gene or whatever it is. 90 00:04:34,670 --> 00:04:36,228 Tell me everything's gonna be okay. 91 00:04:36,873 --> 00:04:38,397 Everything's gonna be okay. 92 00:04:39,475 --> 00:04:40,942 Tell me I'm good at sales. 93 00:04:41,744 --> 00:04:44,474 You're good... You're good at sales. 94 00:04:45,648 --> 00:04:47,445 The unfair thing about working in sales 95 00:04:47,517 --> 00:04:49,917 is that your salary is almost all commission. 96 00:04:49,986 --> 00:04:53,183 So if you suck at sales, you make almost no money. 97 00:04:56,659 --> 00:04:58,490 I guess that's fair. 98 00:04:58,594 --> 00:05:00,061 Dwight. 99 00:05:00,129 --> 00:05:01,118 What? 100 00:05:01,197 --> 00:05:04,132 Did you call all my clients at the mall 101 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:10,298 and cancel all my business while using the "F" word? 102 00:05:10,373 --> 00:05:11,567 Yes, I did. 103 00:05:11,641 --> 00:05:14,132 And I'm gonna do the same with all of your clients. 104 00:05:14,210 --> 00:05:15,438 No, you will not. 105 00:05:15,511 --> 00:05:18,571 Oh, yes, I will. That mall is corrupt. 106 00:05:18,648 --> 00:05:19,876 Okay, they're appearancist! 107 00:05:19,949 --> 00:05:22,349 Okay, Dwight, we can't do that. 108 00:05:22,418 --> 00:05:23,885 So why don't you just tell us what happened? 109 00:05:23,986 --> 00:05:25,214 Yeah. What happened, Dwight? 110 00:05:25,688 --> 00:05:26,780 Okay? 111 00:05:29,392 --> 00:05:33,988 You guys know me. You know that I'm not one for fancy things. 112 00:05:34,063 --> 00:05:35,690 But there was this one thing. 113 00:05:35,765 --> 00:05:37,960 It was in a fancy store, and it caught the corner of my eye 114 00:05:38,034 --> 00:05:40,662 when I took Mose down to the mall 115 00:05:40,736 --> 00:05:42,704 to get his blood pressure at the Rite Aid. 116 00:05:42,805 --> 00:05:45,672 And I thought, "You know, maybe I deserve this." 117 00:05:45,741 --> 00:05:48,642 You know, I've had a great crop yield this fall. 118 00:05:48,711 --> 00:05:49,837 So what happened? 119 00:05:49,912 --> 00:05:51,880 I went to the store and I pressed the buzzer, 120 00:05:51,948 --> 00:05:54,781 and they looked right at me, and then they looked away. 121 00:05:55,051 --> 00:05:57,383 And then I pressed the buzzer again, 122 00:05:57,453 --> 00:06:01,116 and they started taking pictures of me with their mobile phones. 123 00:06:01,624 --> 00:06:03,251 I guess I'm not the kind of guy 124 00:06:03,326 --> 00:06:06,124 that's good enough for precious heirlooms. 125 00:06:06,195 --> 00:06:08,060 You know what, Dwight? You need to go back there, 126 00:06:08,130 --> 00:06:10,155 and you need to Pretty Woman their asses. 127 00:06:10,233 --> 00:06:12,428 We should start our own mall. Yeah! 128 00:06:12,502 --> 00:06:14,766 Wait, wait, wait. Actually, that's a really good idea, Kelly. 129 00:06:14,837 --> 00:06:15,929 What did I say? 130 00:06:16,005 --> 00:06:18,906 I talk a lot, so I've learned to just tune myself out. 131 00:06:18,975 --> 00:06:20,169 Dwight, how about this? 132 00:06:20,243 --> 00:06:21,437 Instead of a boycott, 133 00:06:21,511 --> 00:06:24,446 you and I, together, go down to that store 134 00:06:24,514 --> 00:06:26,675 and we teach those snobs a lesson. 135 00:06:26,749 --> 00:06:31,277 No, you and I, and I. 136 00:06:31,954 --> 00:06:34,252 I'm gonna come with you. Okay. 137 00:06:34,957 --> 00:06:36,515 Good. All right. 138 00:06:36,592 --> 00:06:38,457 Did you assume that I would automatically side 139 00:06:38,528 --> 00:06:40,928 with the rich, snobby shop owner? 140 00:06:43,466 --> 00:06:44,956 How about now? 141 00:06:48,738 --> 00:06:50,228 How about now? 142 00:06:52,775 --> 00:06:54,265 How about now? 143 00:06:56,746 --> 00:06:58,304 How about now? 144 00:06:58,381 --> 00:07:00,542 What's your favorite flavor of... 145 00:07:00,616 --> 00:07:01,878 One hour. What? 146 00:07:01,951 --> 00:07:04,317 One hour. We've done one hour. 147 00:07:04,387 --> 00:07:06,719 Let's just speed this up. 148 00:07:06,789 --> 00:07:09,383 Okay, keep it moving. I wanna do all six hours today. 149 00:07:09,458 --> 00:07:11,449 Look, I can't count the hour if you don't talk. 150 00:07:11,527 --> 00:07:13,586 No, no, no. No. 151 00:07:13,829 --> 00:07:17,356 I know my rights, all I had to do is sit here for six hours. 152 00:07:17,433 --> 00:07:18,491 Do my time. 153 00:07:18,568 --> 00:07:20,092 Michael, it's up to me to check off the boxes, 154 00:07:20,169 --> 00:07:22,103 and I can't do that unless I honestly... Do you know how... 155 00:07:22,171 --> 00:07:24,366 Do you have any idea how angry that is making me? 156 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:25,998 Tell me. 157 00:07:27,343 --> 00:07:30,312 I think we might be about to maybe really get somewhere. 158 00:07:30,713 --> 00:07:33,739 Yes, I will. I will talk all right. 159 00:07:33,816 --> 00:07:36,307 Be careful what you wish for, Toby. 160 00:07:37,820 --> 00:07:39,549 Apparently, there's a famous Hollywood movie 161 00:07:39,655 --> 00:07:42,647 from the 1980s, Beautiful Girl. 162 00:07:42,725 --> 00:07:44,659 Pretty Woman. 163 00:07:44,727 --> 00:07:46,661 Pretty Woman. Apparently, it's one of the 164 00:07:46,729 --> 00:07:49,220 best revenge stories of all time, 165 00:07:49,298 --> 00:07:53,257 in which this sex worker, who is the protagonist... 166 00:07:53,336 --> 00:07:55,531 That can't be right. Andy, how does it... No, no, no. 167 00:07:55,605 --> 00:07:56,902 What? I wanna hear you tell it. 168 00:07:56,973 --> 00:07:58,736 Okay. 169 00:07:58,808 --> 00:08:01,242 The sex worker is denied service at a fancy store 170 00:08:01,310 --> 00:08:03,141 because she does not look wealthy. 171 00:08:03,212 --> 00:08:05,680 She later returns, dressed in all the trappings 172 00:08:05,748 --> 00:08:06,840 of extravagant wealth, 173 00:08:06,916 --> 00:08:07,974 but instead of shopping... 174 00:08:08,050 --> 00:08:09,039 Julia Roberts goes in the store, 175 00:08:09,118 --> 00:08:10,278 she's like, "I was in here yesterday, 176 00:08:10,353 --> 00:08:11,547 "and you people wouldn't help me." 177 00:08:11,621 --> 00:08:12,952 And the shop girl goes, "Oh." 178 00:08:13,022 --> 00:08:16,253 And then Julia Roberts goes, "You girls work on commission, right?" 179 00:08:16,325 --> 00:08:17,815 And the girl's like, "Yeah." 180 00:08:17,893 --> 00:08:18,882 And Julia Roberts goes... 181 00:08:18,961 --> 00:08:20,986 "Big mistake. Huge." 182 00:08:22,398 --> 00:08:24,298 I was telling... I was telling that. 183 00:08:24,367 --> 00:08:27,097 paper supplies and ink cartridges to go with that? 184 00:08:27,169 --> 00:08:29,160 Okay, sure. 185 00:08:29,238 --> 00:08:30,796 Who can I speak to in this office 186 00:08:30,873 --> 00:08:32,534 about saving on window treatments? 187 00:08:33,309 --> 00:08:34,298 I don't know. 188 00:08:34,377 --> 00:08:36,777 Is one of you the office administrator? 189 00:08:39,248 --> 00:08:40,340 I am. 190 00:08:42,485 --> 00:08:43,975 I'm the office administrator! 191 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:45,787 Can I show you a few samples? 192 00:08:46,188 --> 00:08:49,555 We're not interested. We're not interested at all. 193 00:08:52,762 --> 00:08:54,753 There are a few ways to get promoted. 194 00:08:54,830 --> 00:08:57,822 One is to wait for an opening and apply for it. 195 00:08:57,900 --> 00:09:00,027 That's the main way. 196 00:09:00,102 --> 00:09:01,569 But this could work. 197 00:09:01,971 --> 00:09:03,632 Toby, can I really tell you anything? 198 00:09:03,906 --> 00:09:05,066 Of course. 199 00:09:05,675 --> 00:09:08,337 Well, the other night, I was sitting at the table, 200 00:09:08,411 --> 00:09:10,470 eating my penis... 201 00:09:10,546 --> 00:09:11,740 I mean peas. 202 00:09:13,215 --> 00:09:14,375 That was weird. 203 00:09:14,784 --> 00:09:16,183 Ah, that's weird. 204 00:09:16,252 --> 00:09:19,415 I think it all stems from the fact that I was... 205 00:09:21,557 --> 00:09:23,024 I was probed. 206 00:09:23,859 --> 00:09:26,623 By an alien life force. An ALF. 207 00:09:28,531 --> 00:09:29,930 ALF. 208 00:09:30,399 --> 00:09:33,300 You know, I might have actually been probed by ALF. 209 00:09:34,236 --> 00:09:36,932 You might think he's a puppet. 210 00:09:37,006 --> 00:09:39,907 You never see the lower half, but there's a lower half. 211 00:09:40,009 --> 00:09:41,499 Office administrator. 212 00:09:41,577 --> 00:09:43,545 So when did this happen? 213 00:09:44,346 --> 00:09:45,938 A few months ago. 214 00:09:46,015 --> 00:09:48,279 I was talking to someone at corporate, 215 00:09:48,350 --> 00:09:49,544 who isn't there anymore. Mmm-hmm. 216 00:09:49,618 --> 00:09:52,951 And I think the paperwork just got lost in the shuffle. 217 00:09:53,122 --> 00:09:54,384 Can you believe that? Typical. 218 00:09:54,457 --> 00:09:56,254 Yeah, totally. Well, congrats. 219 00:09:56,325 --> 00:10:00,091 Thanks, yeah. So, I'm just gonna take care of stuff around the office 220 00:10:00,162 --> 00:10:02,562 and get paid a reasonable salary. We need that, right? 221 00:10:02,631 --> 00:10:03,655 Totally. That's great. 222 00:10:03,733 --> 00:10:04,995 I get paid $40,000 a year. 223 00:10:05,067 --> 00:10:06,125 Great. 224 00:10:06,202 --> 00:10:07,794 Maybe $50,000. $50,000? 225 00:10:07,903 --> 00:10:09,632 No, not $50,000. 226 00:10:09,705 --> 00:10:11,673 $41,000, I think. 227 00:10:11,741 --> 00:10:12,730 $41,000. 228 00:10:12,842 --> 00:10:13,900 $41,500. 229 00:10:14,343 --> 00:10:15,810 That's great. 230 00:10:20,316 --> 00:10:22,944 Before me stands your coworker, Dwight Kurt Schrute. 231 00:10:24,253 --> 00:10:25,982 Dwight, show them all sides. Turn around. 232 00:10:26,055 --> 00:10:29,456 Now, today we need your help turning Dwight into a gentleman. 233 00:10:29,692 --> 00:10:32,684 A gentleman, who is a rich snob, 234 00:10:32,762 --> 00:10:34,354 who will go into shopping malls 235 00:10:34,430 --> 00:10:36,898 and drop huge amounts of cash on clothes. 236 00:10:36,999 --> 00:10:38,523 Is he still doing this boycott? 237 00:10:38,601 --> 00:10:41,161 No, no, this is instead of the boycott. Yeah. 238 00:10:41,604 --> 00:10:44,164 Your shirt and tie are disgusto-barfo. 239 00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:45,468 Agreed. Really? 240 00:10:45,541 --> 00:10:47,304 Maybe something not so monochromatic. 241 00:10:47,376 --> 00:10:48,434 Not so matching. 242 00:10:48,511 --> 00:10:51,036 Wait, less matching to appear more rich? 243 00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:53,141 The glasses are a little... 244 00:10:55,951 --> 00:10:57,145 I liked them. 245 00:10:57,219 --> 00:10:58,846 I thought they were kind of cute. 246 00:10:58,921 --> 00:11:00,889 Yeah, I liked them, too. 247 00:11:01,857 --> 00:11:02,881 I can't see. 248 00:11:02,958 --> 00:11:04,755 Say stuff like, "Good morning, good afternoon." 249 00:11:04,827 --> 00:11:05,816 People appreciate that. 250 00:11:05,928 --> 00:11:08,897 Wait, I see you every day. Can I say, "Good month?" 251 00:11:09,431 --> 00:11:11,023 I'm telling you how to do this, man. 252 00:11:11,100 --> 00:11:12,761 If someone offers you a cocktail, 253 00:11:12,835 --> 00:11:15,133 accept, but keep your wits about you. 254 00:11:15,204 --> 00:11:17,331 Okay. "Please" and "thank you" go a long way. 255 00:11:17,706 --> 00:11:20,766 Copy. Thank you. 256 00:11:21,110 --> 00:11:22,441 Thank you. 257 00:11:22,945 --> 00:11:24,936 Please. 258 00:11:25,014 --> 00:11:26,777 I think he's got it. 259 00:11:27,550 --> 00:11:30,280 And I was raised by wolves. 260 00:11:30,553 --> 00:11:33,545 I was 25 years old before I saw my first human being. 261 00:11:33,923 --> 00:11:36,255 Wait, is it a full moon tonight? 262 00:11:41,697 --> 00:11:44,689 Come on, Michael. These are all fake stories. 263 00:11:46,068 --> 00:11:48,093 Yes, yes, they are all fake stories. 264 00:11:48,204 --> 00:11:51,640 What sort of twisted mind would come up with weird stories like that? 265 00:11:51,707 --> 00:11:53,004 Three hours, we're halfway done. 266 00:11:53,142 --> 00:11:54,803 How? 267 00:12:02,084 --> 00:12:05,053 Hey, do you have a second? Yeah. 268 00:12:05,221 --> 00:12:07,246 Well, as I'm sure you know for the past few months, 269 00:12:07,323 --> 00:12:08,847 I've been the office administrator, 270 00:12:08,924 --> 00:12:10,448 since right before you guys took over. 271 00:12:10,793 --> 00:12:11,987 Right, of course. 272 00:12:12,294 --> 00:12:13,852 And I haven't gotten paid yet. 273 00:12:13,929 --> 00:12:15,055 I'm not blaming you. 274 00:12:15,931 --> 00:12:17,762 Thank you so much. 275 00:12:17,833 --> 00:12:19,926 I just think somebody lost the paperwork. 276 00:12:20,002 --> 00:12:21,492 Oh, boy. 277 00:12:21,570 --> 00:12:23,504 Can you get every department head's signature on this 278 00:12:23,572 --> 00:12:24,596 so I can back this up to corporate? 279 00:12:24,673 --> 00:12:27,642 Yes, absolutely, right away. 280 00:12:29,378 --> 00:12:32,006 You know what, Michael? You're right. You win. 281 00:12:32,081 --> 00:12:34,242 This is pointless. We're not getting anywhere. 282 00:12:35,117 --> 00:12:38,780 I got a bunch of fun stuff, in case my daughter ever comes over. 283 00:12:38,854 --> 00:12:40,845 Why don't we just run out the clock 284 00:12:40,923 --> 00:12:45,257 by playing games, drawing some pictures, talking? 285 00:12:52,401 --> 00:12:55,131 We present to you, for your final comments and approval, 286 00:12:55,204 --> 00:12:56,865 Dwight K. Schrute. 287 00:12:59,208 --> 00:13:00,573 Go get them, Dwight. 288 00:13:00,643 --> 00:13:01,701 Wish us luck. 289 00:13:02,444 --> 00:13:04,344 Thank you. Dwight. 290 00:13:07,816 --> 00:13:09,215 All done. 291 00:13:09,285 --> 00:13:12,516 Disposable cameras are fun, although it does seem wasteful 292 00:13:12,588 --> 00:13:15,284 and you don't ever get to see your pictures. 293 00:13:15,357 --> 00:13:17,882 If it's an important event that you want to remember, 294 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:19,655 I recommend using a real camera. 295 00:13:19,728 --> 00:13:22,219 But I don't care if I forget today. 296 00:13:23,933 --> 00:13:25,901 We could play something more complicated if you'd like. 297 00:13:25,968 --> 00:13:27,458 This is plenty complicated. 298 00:13:27,536 --> 00:13:28,935 So you've played it before? 299 00:13:29,004 --> 00:13:31,097 I played it once or twice with Jeff. 300 00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:32,429 Who's Jeff? 301 00:13:32,508 --> 00:13:34,373 Jeff was my mother's boyfriend, 302 00:13:34,443 --> 00:13:35,535 who she married. 303 00:13:35,778 --> 00:13:38,804 So, her husband and your stepdad. 304 00:13:39,048 --> 00:13:40,140 Yeah. 305 00:13:40,215 --> 00:13:42,945 Yeah, I guess I never thought of it that way, though. 306 00:13:44,553 --> 00:13:46,612 Did you guys do much stuff together? 307 00:13:46,689 --> 00:13:49,089 Yeah, you know what, he took me to a baseball game once, 308 00:13:49,158 --> 00:13:50,625 I remember. 309 00:13:50,693 --> 00:13:53,526 It was weird, though. They took the pitcher out of the game, 310 00:13:53,595 --> 00:13:54,619 and I felt really bad 311 00:13:55,230 --> 00:13:56,663 because the pitcher wasn't gonna be able 312 00:13:56,732 --> 00:13:57,824 to play with his friends anymore. 313 00:13:57,900 --> 00:14:00,425 But Jeff said that the manager was making 314 00:14:00,502 --> 00:14:02,766 a really good move by taking the pitcher out. 315 00:14:02,838 --> 00:14:04,396 He really respected the manager. 316 00:14:07,309 --> 00:14:08,776 It's working. 317 00:14:09,878 --> 00:14:11,345 I'm doing it. 318 00:14:16,618 --> 00:14:17,607 What? 319 00:14:17,686 --> 00:14:19,813 My place, tonight. Wear this. 320 00:14:19,888 --> 00:14:20,912 Do you have your card? 321 00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:22,048 Yes. 322 00:14:24,593 --> 00:14:26,220 Don't forget the pipe. 323 00:14:26,295 --> 00:14:27,728 It's really sad that your dog ran away, 324 00:14:27,796 --> 00:14:31,630 but why did it keep you from going to the park? 325 00:14:31,700 --> 00:14:34,396 I was afraid I would find him in the park playing with another kid. 326 00:14:34,470 --> 00:14:35,459 Why? 327 00:14:35,537 --> 00:14:37,801 I guess that's why I thought he ran away in the first place, 328 00:14:37,873 --> 00:14:39,238 to find a kid he liked better. 329 00:14:39,308 --> 00:14:40,332 Dogs don't do that. 330 00:14:40,409 --> 00:14:41,398 Right? 331 00:14:41,477 --> 00:14:42,569 Why would a dog do that? 332 00:14:42,644 --> 00:14:43,633 I don't know. 333 00:14:43,712 --> 00:14:46,203 When I hear myself say it, it just sounds ridiculous. 334 00:14:46,281 --> 00:14:48,772 But I never said it out loud, so... 335 00:14:51,854 --> 00:14:55,517 It's very important for you to be liked, isn't it? 336 00:14:55,591 --> 00:14:59,425 Well, let's not get too... 337 00:14:59,495 --> 00:15:01,827 This isn't a counseling session. 338 00:15:04,933 --> 00:15:06,025 Okay. 339 00:15:08,771 --> 00:15:10,136 You son of a gun. 340 00:15:12,241 --> 00:15:14,835 You son of a bitch. Wow, okay. 341 00:15:14,910 --> 00:15:16,343 I'm just trying to help you, Michael. 342 00:15:16,412 --> 00:15:17,777 You bitch, God! 343 00:15:18,013 --> 00:15:20,072 Michael. You're very helpful, aren't you? 344 00:15:20,149 --> 00:15:21,912 You try to help everybody. I'm trying to. 345 00:15:21,984 --> 00:15:23,781 Do you wanna play another game? 346 00:15:23,852 --> 00:15:24,978 I just wanna... You are good. 347 00:15:25,054 --> 00:15:26,612 But you know what? You can't help people. 348 00:15:26,688 --> 00:15:27,882 You couldn't help your marriage. 349 00:15:28,323 --> 00:15:29,517 Hey... Lose. You lose. 350 00:15:29,591 --> 00:15:30,580 I don't need your help. 351 00:15:30,826 --> 00:15:32,054 Nobody needs your help. 352 00:15:32,127 --> 00:15:35,221 Nobody wants it! You can't help anybody. 353 00:15:35,330 --> 00:15:37,230 I don't need your help! 354 00:15:38,167 --> 00:15:39,759 Am I gonna make you cry? 355 00:15:39,868 --> 00:15:41,335 Just fill them out any way you want. 356 00:15:41,403 --> 00:15:42,768 Okay. 357 00:15:42,838 --> 00:15:44,567 Have Erin fax them back to corporate. 358 00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:45,629 Will do. 359 00:15:45,707 --> 00:15:47,971 Okay, filled out. Good. 360 00:15:48,043 --> 00:15:50,477 Thank you, doctor. Take two of these and call me in the morning. 361 00:15:52,881 --> 00:15:54,348 Hey, Michael? 362 00:15:55,117 --> 00:15:57,847 About three months ago, I was talking... 363 00:16:04,526 --> 00:16:06,460 There are a lot of one-person departments here, 364 00:16:06,528 --> 00:16:09,156 so there's a lot of department heads. 365 00:16:09,231 --> 00:16:11,290 But I'm off to a good start. 366 00:16:11,366 --> 00:16:16,463 Oh, man, if I can pull this off, it will be the scam of all scams. 367 00:16:17,272 --> 00:16:19,536 And yet, very helpful to everyone. 368 00:16:20,609 --> 00:16:22,600 So corporate got your evaluations, 369 00:16:22,678 --> 00:16:24,009 and they wanted me to double-check. 370 00:16:24,079 --> 00:16:26,775 Is that really how you feel about Michael's situation? 371 00:16:27,049 --> 00:16:28,710 Yes. 372 00:16:28,784 --> 00:16:31,116 That is not how he seemed to me. 373 00:16:32,121 --> 00:16:33,110 I thought he seemed fine. 374 00:16:33,188 --> 00:16:35,679 You marked "severe" in all the categories, 375 00:16:35,757 --> 00:16:37,622 including "at risk for homicidal behavior." 376 00:16:41,530 --> 00:16:44,556 I saw a TLC show on Kate Walsh's home office. 377 00:16:44,633 --> 00:16:45,691 All corkboard. 378 00:16:45,767 --> 00:16:46,791 We can do that. 379 00:16:46,869 --> 00:16:48,200 Right in here? Easily. 380 00:16:48,270 --> 00:16:50,431 Knock, knock. Pam? Perfect. 381 00:16:51,173 --> 00:16:53,198 I was hoping to talk to the office administrator 382 00:16:53,275 --> 00:16:55,368 about a little office administration problem. 383 00:16:56,078 --> 00:16:57,443 But of course. Great. 384 00:16:59,681 --> 00:17:02,343 The problem, unfortunately, is about 385 00:17:02,417 --> 00:17:03,941 the office administrator. 386 00:17:05,387 --> 00:17:07,480 I have gone through everything from the past three years. 387 00:17:07,823 --> 00:17:10,815 There is nothing that says that you're office administrator. 388 00:17:11,627 --> 00:17:13,618 So weird that there's no paperwork. 389 00:17:13,695 --> 00:17:14,889 At all. 390 00:17:15,631 --> 00:17:19,192 Although, like, unlikely things happen all the time. 391 00:17:19,301 --> 00:17:20,791 My best friend in high school, 392 00:17:20,869 --> 00:17:22,496 she went to Australia, Canberra I think, 393 00:17:22,571 --> 00:17:25,938 and she met this guy who lived only two streets away from her in America. 394 00:17:26,008 --> 00:17:28,806 Pam, I don't want to accuse you of anything. 395 00:17:28,877 --> 00:17:31,869 I just want everything to be back the way it's supposed to be. 396 00:17:33,749 --> 00:17:36,582 Can you just admit... Admit... 397 00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:38,978 Admit what? 398 00:17:39,054 --> 00:17:40,487 I don't want to say it. 399 00:17:46,929 --> 00:17:47,953 Say it. 400 00:17:48,230 --> 00:17:49,254 Mmm-mmm. 401 00:17:49,331 --> 00:17:51,526 Say that I'm lying, or say I have the job. 402 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:52,931 Make a definitive statement, Gabe. 403 00:17:53,001 --> 00:17:55,492 Statements of such a nature, while they have their place, are overused 404 00:17:55,571 --> 00:17:57,300 in a competitive business environment. 405 00:17:57,372 --> 00:18:00,341 Great. Well, let me know if you need a new chair, 406 00:18:00,409 --> 00:18:02,809 or anything that an office administrator can handle. 407 00:18:03,979 --> 00:18:05,037 Will do. 408 00:18:08,584 --> 00:18:13,385 Could I get one of those nameplates that says "Gabe Lewis"? 409 00:18:13,689 --> 00:18:15,657 For sure. Anything else? 410 00:18:17,125 --> 00:18:18,353 I'll get it right away. 411 00:18:19,861 --> 00:18:23,092 The first lesson of watching World Poker Tour at 2:00 a.m., 412 00:18:23,165 --> 00:18:26,259 you play the opponent, not the cards. 413 00:18:29,238 --> 00:18:30,330 Is that what we're here for? 414 00:18:30,739 --> 00:18:32,934 A crystal wizard. I like it. 415 00:18:33,008 --> 00:18:35,602 It's a pewter wizard holding a crystal. 416 00:18:37,479 --> 00:18:38,912 Wait a second. 417 00:18:38,981 --> 00:18:41,745 You know you can't buy that now, right? 418 00:18:41,817 --> 00:18:43,341 And I can come back and get it for you later. 419 00:18:43,418 --> 00:18:45,079 But I'm saying right now, we can't do that. 420 00:18:45,153 --> 00:18:46,142 Right. 421 00:18:46,255 --> 00:18:47,722 'Cause I'm here for one thing, revenge. 422 00:18:47,789 --> 00:18:48,881 That's it. Okay. 423 00:18:48,957 --> 00:18:50,219 Let me know if I can help you with anything. 424 00:18:51,593 --> 00:18:52,719 Excuse me, sir. 425 00:18:52,794 --> 00:18:54,091 Yes? 426 00:18:54,162 --> 00:18:57,131 I was here yesterday, and you refused to wait on me. 427 00:18:57,199 --> 00:18:59,360 I remember, yes. I'm terribly sorry about what happened. 428 00:18:59,434 --> 00:19:00,924 You work on commission, don't you? 429 00:19:01,003 --> 00:19:02,436 No. Stop, stop, stop. Hold on one second. 430 00:19:02,537 --> 00:19:03,936 Did you just say you remember him? 431 00:19:04,006 --> 00:19:04,995 Of course. 432 00:19:05,073 --> 00:19:07,473 But he looks much less threatening now. 433 00:19:07,542 --> 00:19:08,531 What does that mean? 434 00:19:08,610 --> 00:19:10,134 We had a safety concern. 435 00:19:10,212 --> 00:19:12,680 We very politely indicated that he'd be welcomed back... 436 00:19:12,748 --> 00:19:14,215 Good morning. if he were in accordance 437 00:19:14,283 --> 00:19:15,875 with our dress policy. What? 438 00:19:15,951 --> 00:19:18,317 But the bloodstained hands... 439 00:19:22,958 --> 00:19:25,119 It was beet juice. 440 00:19:25,193 --> 00:19:27,218 I'm a beet farmer... I'm very sorry. 441 00:19:27,296 --> 00:19:31,733 Good sir, I happened to have been working a very long day that day. 442 00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:34,291 When I came to your fine... 443 00:19:34,369 --> 00:19:37,270 You are so... I'm gonna... Okay. 444 00:19:37,339 --> 00:19:41,275 Listen, you can't treat... Thank you. Good morning, sir! 445 00:19:41,343 --> 00:19:42,867 Okay, let's go. Come on. 446 00:19:42,978 --> 00:19:45,572 You made a big mistake! Huge! 447 00:19:46,815 --> 00:19:48,874 There it is. All right. 448 00:19:50,886 --> 00:19:51,875 That was pretty good. 449 00:19:51,953 --> 00:19:53,750 Thank you. Please. After you. 450 00:19:54,690 --> 00:19:56,681 - I'll take the wizard. - Okay. 451 00:20:00,629 --> 00:20:04,156 You forged them. You forged the forms. 452 00:20:04,232 --> 00:20:06,700 You filled them in and faxed them yourself. Yes. 453 00:20:06,768 --> 00:20:08,395 You remember that. Yes. 454 00:20:08,470 --> 00:20:11,598 But you had me so worked up that I made a mistake. 455 00:20:11,673 --> 00:20:14,608 Unless a part of you made that mistake on purpose. 456 00:20:14,676 --> 00:20:17,201 You don't make a mistake on purpose, Toby. 457 00:20:17,279 --> 00:20:18,610 Then it's no longer a mistake. 458 00:20:21,350 --> 00:20:24,080 Gabe. He messed it up. 459 00:20:24,152 --> 00:20:25,619 He messed up the forms, I bet. 460 00:20:27,189 --> 00:20:29,817 "I wanna mess everything up so I can fix it and keep my job. 461 00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:34,720 "Good thing I'm here, 'cause I do nothing. 462 00:20:34,796 --> 00:20:37,162 "I make everybody nervous." 463 00:20:37,799 --> 00:20:39,391 Okay. 464 00:20:39,468 --> 00:20:40,492 That's your notebook? 465 00:20:41,336 --> 00:20:44,169 All right. All right. Let's bang this out. 466 00:20:45,307 --> 00:20:46,535 Let's do it to it. 467 00:20:50,679 --> 00:20:52,340 That's the office, huh? Mmm. 468 00:20:53,482 --> 00:20:54,972 Look at that. 469 00:20:55,150 --> 00:20:57,380 Angela's cat, yes. 470 00:20:58,186 --> 00:21:00,484 Why is Angela taller than Dwight? 471 00:21:03,425 --> 00:21:04,790 Right. Oh. 472 00:21:04,893 --> 00:21:07,726 I wonder why it feels like that. 473 00:21:07,796 --> 00:21:11,596 Psychiatrists tend to be more crazy than their patients. 474 00:21:11,666 --> 00:21:14,066 Therapists are whores. 475 00:21:14,136 --> 00:21:16,627 Psychiatry is a narcissism machine. 476 00:21:17,572 --> 00:21:20,439 I learn more from Dr. Seuss than Dr. Freud. 477 00:21:20,509 --> 00:21:23,478 Earth. You don't have to be crazy to live here. 478 00:21:23,545 --> 00:21:25,012 But it helps. 479 00:21:25,747 --> 00:21:27,612 I don't know, just use the best one. 480 00:21:28,105 --> 00:21:38,105 Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.