1 00:00:03,390 --> 00:00:04,652 Andy? 2 00:00:07,728 --> 00:00:10,253 Attend the tale Of Sweeney Todd 3 00:00:11,565 --> 00:00:14,500 His skin was pale And his eye was odd 4 00:00:14,568 --> 00:00:15,592 Yes. 5 00:00:15,669 --> 00:00:17,261 He shaved the faces Of gentlemen 6 00:00:17,337 --> 00:00:19,601 Who never thereafter Were heard of again 7 00:00:20,174 --> 00:00:22,506 He trod a path That few have trod 8 00:00:23,077 --> 00:00:24,840 Did Sweeney Todd 9 00:00:25,879 --> 00:00:28,109 The demon barber Of Fleet Street 10 00:00:29,249 --> 00:00:30,910 Did you write this? No. 11 00:00:30,984 --> 00:00:32,212 Who did? Stephen Sondheim. 12 00:00:32,286 --> 00:00:33,446 Who is he? 13 00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:37,286 Swing your Razor wide, Sweeney 14 00:00:37,357 --> 00:00:41,054 Hold it to the skies 15 00:00:41,128 --> 00:00:47,294 Freely flows the blood Of those who moralize 16 00:00:47,367 --> 00:00:49,232 What the hell is happening? 17 00:00:49,303 --> 00:00:50,600 We are the cast of Sweeney Todd: 18 00:00:50,671 --> 00:00:51,933 The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. 19 00:00:52,005 --> 00:00:53,199 We open in a couple of weeks 20 00:00:53,273 --> 00:00:54,831 at the Loose Screw Playhouse, here in Scranton. 21 00:00:54,908 --> 00:00:59,470 And today, just doing a wee bit of viral marketing, gov'nor! 22 00:00:59,546 --> 00:01:01,571 - Attend the tale - Of Sweeney Todd 23 00:01:03,417 --> 00:01:05,442 He served a dark and a vengeful God 24 00:01:05,519 --> 00:01:07,453 He served a dark and a vengeful God 25 00:01:09,223 --> 00:01:11,248 What happens then Well, that's the play 26 00:01:11,325 --> 00:01:13,088 And he wouldn't Want us to give it away 27 00:01:14,995 --> 00:01:16,462 Not Sweeney Todd 28 00:01:18,765 --> 00:01:20,665 The demon barber of Fleet 29 00:01:21,068 --> 00:01:22,194 Street 30 00:01:23,036 --> 00:01:24,765 Wow! 31 00:01:27,808 --> 00:01:31,039 Oh, that was amazing! That was awesome! 32 00:01:31,111 --> 00:01:33,841 I auditioned for this! When did the cast list go up? 33 00:01:34,781 --> 00:01:35,907 Like a month ago. 34 00:01:35,983 --> 00:01:37,575 Really? They didn't call me! 35 00:01:40,254 --> 00:01:41,312 Who am I playing? 36 00:01:43,490 --> 00:01:44,616 Andy? 37 00:01:45,890 --> 00:01:51,964 Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers. 38 00:02:21,395 --> 00:02:24,694 Two comps for milady and her Gabe. It's closing night. 39 00:02:24,765 --> 00:02:26,164 Tomorrow we have to give the theater over 40 00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:27,699 to the Scranton's Miss Fitness Pageant. 41 00:02:27,768 --> 00:02:31,431 I am so excited, but I just need one. Gabe can't come. Sorry. 42 00:02:31,505 --> 00:02:33,302 What? Yeah. 43 00:02:33,373 --> 00:02:35,807 That's awful. Everyone's gonna miss that guy. 44 00:02:35,876 --> 00:02:38,640 Gabe is not coming, which is huge, 45 00:02:38,712 --> 00:02:40,976 because my plan is to make Erin 46 00:02:41,081 --> 00:02:42,844 fall back in love with me tonight. 47 00:02:43,884 --> 00:02:47,012 Women cannot resist a man singing show tunes. 48 00:02:47,888 --> 00:02:49,856 It's so powerful, even a lot of men 49 00:02:49,923 --> 00:02:52,357 can't resist a man singing show tunes. 50 00:02:52,426 --> 00:02:54,155 Oh, who else is going? Everyone. 51 00:02:54,228 --> 00:02:55,388 Gabe seemed to think no one was going. 52 00:02:56,163 --> 00:02:58,893 What kind of terrible rumormonger is Gabe? 53 00:02:58,966 --> 00:03:01,434 He is woefully ill informed, all right? 54 00:03:01,501 --> 00:03:02,661 Excuse me. 55 00:03:04,304 --> 00:03:07,296 Everybody, you're all coming to my show tonight, right? 56 00:03:07,374 --> 00:03:08,363 Andy, what time's it start? 57 00:03:08,442 --> 00:03:09,431 8:00 p.m. Sharp. 58 00:03:09,509 --> 00:03:10,976 How long is it? Hour and 45... 59 00:03:11,044 --> 00:03:12,170 No, I can't make it. 60 00:03:13,413 --> 00:03:15,847 They say that no one can take your pride, 61 00:03:15,916 --> 00:03:19,545 but the people who cast Andy's play, they took mine. 62 00:03:20,153 --> 00:03:21,848 Jim, Pam, you guys are in, right? 63 00:03:21,922 --> 00:03:25,824 Oh, we wanted to, but our sitter just fell through. I'm really sorry. 64 00:03:26,293 --> 00:03:27,817 Dwight? No, thank you. 65 00:03:29,630 --> 00:03:30,995 Last time I went to the theater, 66 00:03:31,098 --> 00:03:33,896 a man dressed as a cat sat on my lap. 67 00:03:35,068 --> 00:03:39,402 It would mean so much to me if you came to my show tonight. 68 00:03:39,473 --> 00:03:41,805 I can't, Andy. It's too hard. 69 00:03:41,875 --> 00:03:43,137 That's... 70 00:03:44,645 --> 00:03:47,136 I put everything I had into that audition. Do you understand that? 71 00:03:47,214 --> 00:03:48,340 If it makes you feel any better, 72 00:03:48,415 --> 00:03:51,907 no one who auditioned for the part of Sweeney Todd got that part. 73 00:03:51,985 --> 00:03:53,077 They had to bring in a ringer. 74 00:03:54,421 --> 00:03:57,481 This guy's, like, world class. You should not feel bad. 75 00:03:59,526 --> 00:04:01,619 I'm asking you, thespian to thespian, 76 00:04:01,695 --> 00:04:05,461 will you please be the bigger man and come to my show? 77 00:04:05,532 --> 00:04:08,467 I wish I could, Andy, but I can't. 78 00:04:08,535 --> 00:04:11,026 I have plans that night. 79 00:04:11,104 --> 00:04:14,562 I'm going to see a friend in a play called Sweeney Todd. 80 00:04:16,877 --> 00:04:19,368 You're that friend. I'm going to see your play. 81 00:04:21,715 --> 00:04:22,909 Nice! 82 00:04:22,983 --> 00:04:24,917 And scene. 83 00:04:25,185 --> 00:04:28,018 Listen, I would like you to take me to Andy's play tonight. 84 00:04:28,522 --> 00:04:30,217 Please, waste of time. 85 00:04:30,290 --> 00:04:32,451 You know what? Let's just knock this out right now. 86 00:04:32,526 --> 00:04:33,652 Disrobe. 87 00:04:33,727 --> 00:04:38,130 Angela? Don't like her anymore. Not attracted to her anymore. 88 00:04:38,198 --> 00:04:41,099 Just contractually obligated to make a baby with her. 89 00:04:41,935 --> 00:04:43,368 Give me the punch card. No. 90 00:04:43,437 --> 00:04:44,597 If you want to punch the punch card, 91 00:04:44,671 --> 00:04:45,763 you have to take me to the show. 92 00:04:46,473 --> 00:04:47,770 That is not in the contract. 93 00:04:47,841 --> 00:04:50,173 Well, there's a lot of gray area in that clause. 94 00:04:50,243 --> 00:04:51,642 Do you want to re-mediate? 95 00:04:51,712 --> 00:04:54,943 All right, fine! I'll go to your little show. 96 00:04:55,015 --> 00:04:56,073 But I'm not wearing a cape. 97 00:04:56,149 --> 00:04:57,138 Thank you. 98 00:04:57,217 --> 00:04:59,617 Dwight and I have a contractual agreement 99 00:04:59,686 --> 00:05:02,519 to procreate five times, plain and simple. 100 00:05:02,589 --> 00:05:06,616 And should he develop feelings for me? 101 00:05:06,693 --> 00:05:09,890 Well, that would be permissible under item 7C, clause 2, 102 00:05:09,963 --> 00:05:13,330 so I would not object. 103 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,493 Hey. How are those salads? 104 00:05:15,569 --> 00:05:16,593 It's my own fault... 105 00:05:16,670 --> 00:05:20,299 My parents used to scramble to find babysitters 106 00:05:20,374 --> 00:05:22,308 so they could take my little brother to do stuff. 107 00:05:22,376 --> 00:05:23,536 I understand how hard it can be. 108 00:05:24,411 --> 00:05:26,242 I just... Tonight, I mean, if you could... 109 00:05:26,313 --> 00:05:27,473 We'll keep looking. 110 00:05:27,547 --> 00:05:28,673 Yes! Really? 111 00:05:28,749 --> 00:05:31,411 I mean, who knows? Maybe I have a niece my family never told me about. 112 00:05:31,485 --> 00:05:33,112 Oh, my gosh, that would be amazing. 113 00:05:33,186 --> 00:05:34,551 Yeah. For a lot of reasons. 114 00:05:34,621 --> 00:05:37,419 Yeah, I know. Niece! 115 00:05:39,226 --> 00:05:40,318 Oh! Hey, guys. 116 00:05:40,394 --> 00:05:42,055 You brought balloons to a play? 117 00:05:42,129 --> 00:05:44,529 I did, because I am being the bigger man, 118 00:05:44,598 --> 00:05:46,225 and balloons are bigger than flowers. 119 00:05:46,299 --> 00:05:47,288 It's nice, like Up. 120 00:05:47,367 --> 00:05:48,356 Yes. 121 00:05:48,935 --> 00:05:51,335 Excuse me. Are you the guy that did an entire 122 00:05:51,405 --> 00:05:53,771 Law & Order episode for his audition? 123 00:05:56,209 --> 00:05:57,301 Nope. 124 00:05:58,512 --> 00:06:00,480 - Guys? - Hey! 125 00:06:00,547 --> 00:06:01,809 Andy! Hey! 126 00:06:01,882 --> 00:06:04,112 You all made it. Thank you so much. 127 00:06:04,184 --> 00:06:05,651 You should actually thank Erin. 128 00:06:05,719 --> 00:06:07,243 She's the one who agreed to babysit. 129 00:06:08,955 --> 00:06:10,183 She's babysitting? 130 00:06:10,257 --> 00:06:14,751 I really wanted to see Andy's play, because he's so, so talented, 131 00:06:14,828 --> 00:06:17,592 but I've been trying to get in the babysitting game forever. 132 00:06:17,664 --> 00:06:21,122 The 13-year-olds in this town have a complete monopoly. 133 00:06:21,201 --> 00:06:23,726 It's almost like a babysitters' club. 134 00:06:23,804 --> 00:06:25,271 I understand. 135 00:06:25,906 --> 00:06:29,706 This is, like, a huge opportunity for her. 136 00:06:36,750 --> 00:06:38,479 This is ridiculous. 137 00:06:39,186 --> 00:06:42,246 You'd think they'd discourage people from bringing in balloons. 138 00:06:42,322 --> 00:06:45,348 Hey, I think this guy playing Sweeney Todd is my plumber. 139 00:06:45,425 --> 00:06:49,361 No, Darryl. This guy's a world-class actor. 140 00:06:49,429 --> 00:06:51,260 He doesn't daylight as your plumber. 141 00:06:51,331 --> 00:06:53,765 No, it's my plumber. Says so in his bio. 142 00:06:53,834 --> 00:06:56,234 Apparently, the director discovered him doing karaoke. 143 00:06:56,303 --> 00:06:58,669 It's his first play. He didn't even audition. 144 00:06:58,738 --> 00:07:00,467 Are you kidding me? Shh. 145 00:07:00,540 --> 00:07:01,802 If we don't listen to the overture, 146 00:07:01,875 --> 00:07:03,103 we won't recognize the musical themes 147 00:07:03,176 --> 00:07:04,268 when they come back later. 148 00:07:04,344 --> 00:07:05,811 All right, I'm sorry. 149 00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:07,879 God. 150 00:07:08,415 --> 00:07:10,940 Attend the tale Of Sweeney Todd 151 00:07:12,452 --> 00:07:15,319 His skin was pale And his eye was odd 152 00:07:16,156 --> 00:07:17,953 He shaved the faces Of gentlemen 153 00:07:18,024 --> 00:07:20,492 Who never thereafter Were heard of again 154 00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:23,495 He trod a path That few have trod 155 00:07:23,563 --> 00:07:25,394 Did Sweeney Todd 156 00:07:26,433 --> 00:07:29,266 The demon barber Of Fleet Street 157 00:07:34,274 --> 00:07:36,799 He kept a shop In London town 158 00:07:36,877 --> 00:07:39,607 Excuse me, I think you may be in the wrong seats. 159 00:07:42,015 --> 00:07:43,676 What if none of Their souls were saved 160 00:07:43,750 --> 00:07:46,810 They went to their Maker impeccably shaved 161 00:07:46,887 --> 00:07:48,252 By Sweeney 162 00:07:49,723 --> 00:07:51,554 By Sweeney Todd 163 00:07:52,325 --> 00:07:54,987 The demon barber Of Fleet Street 164 00:07:58,498 --> 00:08:02,434 I feel you 165 00:08:02,502 --> 00:08:05,801 Johanna 166 00:08:05,906 --> 00:08:10,309 I feel you 167 00:08:10,377 --> 00:08:12,675 I was half convinced I waited 168 00:08:12,746 --> 00:08:14,338 I work with that guy. 169 00:08:14,414 --> 00:08:18,111 Satisfied enough To dream you 170 00:08:18,184 --> 00:08:21,620 Happily I was mistaken 171 00:08:21,688 --> 00:08:24,657 Johanna 172 00:08:26,259 --> 00:08:29,786 Oh! There's gum on the seat, and now it's on my work skirt. 173 00:08:29,863 --> 00:08:31,592 I have to go change. 174 00:08:31,665 --> 00:08:34,190 Too bad I'm not gonna explain anything that you miss. 175 00:08:34,267 --> 00:08:36,064 Oh, Dwight, just move. 176 00:08:37,671 --> 00:08:41,232 Do they think that walls can hide you? 177 00:08:42,242 --> 00:08:45,405 His name's Andy. He's a terrible salesman. 178 00:08:45,478 --> 00:08:49,005 I am in the dark beside you 179 00:08:50,984 --> 00:08:52,815 What time is it? 180 00:09:00,427 --> 00:09:01,655 Michael! 181 00:09:02,495 --> 00:09:03,689 Shelby Thomas Weems, the director. 182 00:09:03,763 --> 00:09:04,889 Hello. 183 00:09:04,965 --> 00:09:07,991 I promise you that if you keep auditioning 184 00:09:08,068 --> 00:09:09,729 with a similar gusto... Okay. 185 00:09:09,803 --> 00:09:13,637 we are going to find a production with a role for Michael Scott. 186 00:09:13,707 --> 00:09:14,833 Okay. Yes? 187 00:09:14,908 --> 00:09:15,932 Yes. Good. 188 00:09:16,009 --> 00:09:17,271 Good. Enjoy the second act. 189 00:09:17,344 --> 00:09:18,606 You enjoy the second act. Have a refreshment. 190 00:09:18,678 --> 00:09:20,009 Thank you. You, too. 191 00:09:20,447 --> 00:09:22,210 Thank you, thank you. 192 00:09:24,618 --> 00:09:26,210 Come on, Dwight. 193 00:09:26,686 --> 00:09:28,654 Why are you dressed like a seed catalog model? 194 00:09:29,389 --> 00:09:32,483 These are just my dirty old gardening clothes. 195 00:09:32,559 --> 00:09:34,220 They were all that I had in my car. 196 00:09:34,294 --> 00:09:35,556 Let's go. 197 00:09:39,499 --> 00:09:42,434 Hey, Erin, it's Pam. Hey, how you doing... 198 00:09:42,502 --> 00:09:44,732 No, no, don't put Cece on the phone, because she can't talk yet. 199 00:09:45,905 --> 00:09:49,363 Okay. No, I was just calling to see how everything's going. 200 00:09:49,442 --> 00:09:51,239 Yeah? Yeah? It's good? 201 00:09:52,212 --> 00:09:54,680 The play? The play is kind of great. 202 00:09:54,781 --> 00:09:59,013 I mean, it's fun to hear Andy sing in the appropriate setting. 203 00:09:59,085 --> 00:10:02,248 No, he's really sorry you couldn't make it, too. 204 00:10:02,322 --> 00:10:06,190 Yeah. So thank you so much again. We're having a great time. 205 00:10:06,259 --> 00:10:08,921 Oh, they're flashing the lights, so we should go in. 206 00:10:08,995 --> 00:10:10,394 Thanks. Bye. 207 00:10:11,464 --> 00:10:12,761 Okay, so we called, and everything's fine. 208 00:10:12,832 --> 00:10:14,060 Everything's fine. 209 00:10:14,134 --> 00:10:15,158 We can relax. 210 00:10:15,235 --> 00:10:16,793 We can relax. Let's get our Sweeney on. 211 00:10:16,870 --> 00:10:20,362 Then I go Walking with you-hoo 212 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:21,964 You-hoo 213 00:10:22,042 --> 00:10:25,375 I warm me bones On the esplanade 214 00:10:25,445 --> 00:10:28,414 Have tea and scones With me gay young blade 215 00:10:28,481 --> 00:10:29,505 Hey, Michael! 216 00:10:29,582 --> 00:10:32,244 I'll knit a sweater While you write a letter 217 00:10:32,318 --> 00:10:35,913 Unless we've Got better to do-hoo 218 00:10:36,489 --> 00:10:38,116 Anything you say 219 00:10:38,525 --> 00:10:42,154 Think how snug it'll be Underneath our flannel 220 00:10:42,228 --> 00:10:45,595 When it's just you and me And the English Channel 221 00:10:45,665 --> 00:10:48,964 In our cozy retreat Kept all neat and tidy 222 00:10:49,035 --> 00:10:51,902 We'll have chums Over ev'ry Friday 223 00:10:51,971 --> 00:10:53,461 By the sea 224 00:10:53,540 --> 00:10:54,666 Anything you say 225 00:10:54,741 --> 00:10:58,108 Don't you love the weather 226 00:10:58,912 --> 00:11:00,504 Just checking my e-mails. 227 00:11:00,580 --> 00:11:04,072 See if I got any last-minute "break-a-legs" 228 00:11:04,150 --> 00:11:06,380 or "I-still-love-you" type texts. 229 00:11:08,688 --> 00:11:13,250 Doesn't look like I got anything. Maybe on my Facebook wall. 230 00:11:19,265 --> 00:11:21,790 Unfortunately, in this ham-fisted production of Sweeney Todd, 231 00:11:21,868 --> 00:11:24,564 the real terror comes from the vocal performances. 232 00:11:24,637 --> 00:11:25,831 New paragraph. 233 00:11:25,905 --> 00:11:28,703 Mr. Todd! Mr. Todd! I found her! 234 00:11:30,009 --> 00:11:31,772 You found Johanna. 235 00:11:31,845 --> 00:11:34,439 That monster of a judge has locked her... 236 00:11:38,852 --> 00:11:39,978 Locked her away... 237 00:11:44,090 --> 00:11:49,756 There's a little bird fluttering around. Do hope it ceases chirping. 238 00:11:52,165 --> 00:11:53,393 How is that funny? 239 00:11:53,466 --> 00:11:57,493 The bird continues to call. Someone please turn off your bird. 240 00:11:59,305 --> 00:12:02,604 Oh, for the love... Turn your phone off! There are signs! 241 00:12:02,675 --> 00:12:03,767 Oh! 242 00:12:04,778 --> 00:12:08,509 It appears the bird was in mine own pocket this whole time. 243 00:12:08,581 --> 00:12:11,175 He's gone to sleep now. I closed his beak. 244 00:12:13,753 --> 00:12:16,415 What is the news of my darling daughter Johanna? 245 00:12:17,924 --> 00:12:20,222 You know what? Let me just double check. 246 00:12:20,293 --> 00:12:22,557 Make sure that bird... 247 00:12:24,063 --> 00:12:26,531 Okay, good. It's off. 248 00:12:27,300 --> 00:12:30,929 I mean, silenced. I silenced it by killing it. 249 00:12:31,004 --> 00:12:34,804 I've killed it! I'm a murderer! Just like you, Sweeney Todd! 250 00:12:34,874 --> 00:12:36,341 See? It all connects. 251 00:12:38,545 --> 00:12:40,137 Not that I know you're a murderer. 252 00:12:40,213 --> 00:12:41,737 My character doesn't know that yet. 253 00:12:43,650 --> 00:12:48,713 But I'm suspicious, because of all the razors that you have laying around. 254 00:12:48,788 --> 00:12:50,449 And you spend time alone, 255 00:12:51,658 --> 00:12:53,387 but you're a barber, so that's legit. 256 00:12:54,460 --> 00:12:55,893 So there's that. 257 00:12:55,962 --> 00:12:57,088 But... 258 00:12:57,163 --> 00:12:58,494 Where is Johanna? 259 00:12:58,565 --> 00:12:59,691 A madhouse. A madhouse? 260 00:12:59,766 --> 00:13:01,757 Yes, a madhouse. 261 00:13:01,835 --> 00:13:03,234 A madhouse? 262 00:13:03,303 --> 00:13:05,032 Johanna is as good as rescued. 263 00:13:05,104 --> 00:13:06,799 Where do you suppose all the wig makers 264 00:13:06,873 --> 00:13:09,671 of London go to obtain their human hair? 265 00:13:09,742 --> 00:13:11,266 Do you think... 266 00:13:12,645 --> 00:13:14,169 So you think... 267 00:13:24,324 --> 00:13:26,155 So you think... Fogg's Asylum, why not? 268 00:13:32,098 --> 00:13:33,395 Sounds like Cece. 269 00:13:33,466 --> 00:13:35,798 Okay, I think everybody just needs to relax. 270 00:13:35,869 --> 00:13:36,858 Oh, my God. Go, go. 271 00:13:36,936 --> 00:13:38,028 Oh, my God. 272 00:13:45,144 --> 00:13:49,410 That's really irresponsible of Erin. She's a terrible babysitter. 273 00:13:52,986 --> 00:13:54,886 I just didn't think you guys were gonna see us. 274 00:13:54,954 --> 00:13:56,888 We were just gonna stop by and then get some ice cream 275 00:13:56,956 --> 00:13:57,980 and then go home. 276 00:13:58,691 --> 00:14:00,090 Okay, this was pretty simple. Right? 277 00:14:00,159 --> 00:14:01,183 Why are you here? 278 00:14:01,261 --> 00:14:03,092 All you had to do was play with her 279 00:14:03,162 --> 00:14:04,959 for, like, 30 minutes and then put her to bed. 280 00:14:05,031 --> 00:14:06,965 Then we were kind of hoping that you wouldn't touch her again. 281 00:14:07,033 --> 00:14:08,830 Babies shouldn't have ice cream, by the way. 282 00:14:09,369 --> 00:14:12,361 I'm sorry. I just... I really wanted to see Andy. 283 00:14:12,438 --> 00:14:13,837 You guys made it sound so un-missable, 284 00:14:13,907 --> 00:14:16,000 and you set me up with a car seat and everything. 285 00:14:16,075 --> 00:14:18,600 Well, the car seat was to take her to the hospital or... 286 00:14:19,178 --> 00:14:20,975 But why would I take her to the hospital? 287 00:14:21,581 --> 00:14:24,049 You know what, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. 288 00:14:24,117 --> 00:14:26,745 Why don't I just take her home, and let you guys finish, 289 00:14:26,819 --> 00:14:28,684 and then you should stay out as late as you want. 290 00:14:28,755 --> 00:14:30,620 No, we're good. Thank you, though. 291 00:14:30,690 --> 00:14:31,816 Yeah. Thanks. 292 00:14:31,891 --> 00:14:33,950 Okay. All right, bye, Cece. 293 00:14:34,727 --> 00:14:36,388 Okay. All right. 294 00:14:37,130 --> 00:14:38,188 Well, we're never leaving the house again. 295 00:14:38,264 --> 00:14:39,288 Not together. 296 00:15:07,126 --> 00:15:09,253 That was more horrifying than Nunsense. 297 00:15:09,329 --> 00:15:10,489 All that singing got in the way 298 00:15:10,563 --> 00:15:12,724 of some perfectly good murders. 299 00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:15,531 Where's my car? 300 00:15:24,811 --> 00:15:25,835 Come on. 301 00:15:28,414 --> 00:15:30,814 Mmm! Fruit is so much better when it's dried. 302 00:15:30,883 --> 00:15:32,578 I've already eaten, like, 30 apricots. 303 00:15:32,652 --> 00:15:33,676 Darryl? 304 00:15:33,753 --> 00:15:34,742 Hey! 305 00:15:34,821 --> 00:15:36,220 Didn't know you were gonna be here. 306 00:15:36,289 --> 00:15:37,881 How's the toilet? Silent. 307 00:15:37,957 --> 00:15:39,652 Look, congratulations. Thank you. 308 00:15:39,726 --> 00:15:43,253 I had no idea. This plumber has pipes. 309 00:15:43,329 --> 00:15:45,490 Yeah, good job. Well done. 310 00:15:46,065 --> 00:15:47,191 You're the guy who booed me. 311 00:15:47,700 --> 00:15:48,894 Mmm-mmm. 312 00:15:49,669 --> 00:15:52,297 No, there were a lot of people booing you. I wasn't one of them. 313 00:15:52,372 --> 00:15:54,966 No, I saw you, and you were the only one. 314 00:15:55,508 --> 00:15:56,975 Get your eyes checked, chucklehead. 315 00:15:57,043 --> 00:16:00,308 Be cool, Michael. I saw this guy kill a bunch of people. 316 00:16:00,380 --> 00:16:02,245 Good work. Thank you. 317 00:16:05,752 --> 00:16:06,776 You didn't have to boo him. 318 00:16:06,853 --> 00:16:08,753 He was getting a lot of applause, 319 00:16:08,821 --> 00:16:10,448 and I just didn't think it was indicative 320 00:16:10,523 --> 00:16:11,854 of how people were really feeling. 321 00:16:11,924 --> 00:16:13,221 How would you like it if we booed you? 322 00:16:13,292 --> 00:16:15,192 That would never happen. 323 00:16:15,328 --> 00:16:16,488 Okay. 324 00:16:16,996 --> 00:16:18,156 I appreciate the feedback. 325 00:16:21,300 --> 00:16:23,359 I don't like that at all. 326 00:16:25,138 --> 00:16:26,628 Are you ready? 327 00:16:26,706 --> 00:16:27,832 Yes. 328 00:16:27,907 --> 00:16:30,603 I'm so scared! Okay, kill me! Just kill me! Kill me! 329 00:16:33,546 --> 00:16:35,480 Blood everywhere. Oh, no. 330 00:16:36,716 --> 00:16:38,775 I'm so glad we're hanging out again outside of work. 331 00:16:38,851 --> 00:16:40,113 Yeah, me, too. 332 00:16:41,687 --> 00:16:42,676 Okay, I kill you now. 333 00:16:42,755 --> 00:16:43,744 Okay. 334 00:16:44,190 --> 00:16:45,282 All right. 335 00:16:45,725 --> 00:16:47,818 All right, let's do this. 336 00:16:47,894 --> 00:16:50,795 You know, actually, Dwight, I didn't realize how far this walk was, 337 00:16:50,863 --> 00:16:52,125 and I'm exhausted. 338 00:16:52,198 --> 00:16:53,392 It's okay, I smell. 339 00:16:53,466 --> 00:16:55,798 No. No, no, no. I think I just want to go home, 340 00:16:55,868 --> 00:16:58,462 but it's okay. This can count as one of your times. 341 00:16:58,538 --> 00:17:00,802 No, no, no. Contractually, we're obligated to have sex. 342 00:17:01,407 --> 00:17:02,533 Well, I won't tell if you don't. 343 00:17:02,608 --> 00:17:04,439 I will tell. I will tell the mediator. 344 00:17:07,847 --> 00:17:09,940 What... What are you... Oh, okay. 345 00:17:10,750 --> 00:17:13,241 Oh, was that in the way? Get rid of it. Oh! 346 00:17:14,387 --> 00:17:16,116 Good night, Dwight. 347 00:17:22,728 --> 00:17:24,093 Good night. 348 00:17:27,033 --> 00:17:30,332 These would have been your seats. Best seats in the house. 349 00:17:30,403 --> 00:17:33,566 Lot of people think it would be the front row, but, actually, right here, 350 00:17:33,639 --> 00:17:36,164 this is where the speakers converge 351 00:17:36,242 --> 00:17:39,040 and the sound just, like, nails you right here. 352 00:17:39,112 --> 00:17:40,704 This is awesome. 353 00:17:40,780 --> 00:17:42,008 Oh. 354 00:17:42,081 --> 00:17:43,241 Sorry. Oh. Oh. 355 00:17:43,683 --> 00:17:44,707 Hi, Gabe. 356 00:17:46,018 --> 00:17:49,749 Yeah, I just stopped by Andy's cast party to say hi to everyone. 357 00:17:49,822 --> 00:17:53,053 Sure, I can pick you up some soup. What do you want? 358 00:17:53,126 --> 00:17:54,855 That's broth, Gabe. 359 00:17:55,461 --> 00:17:57,622 Okay, I'll see you soup. 360 00:17:58,531 --> 00:18:00,965 Okay, I have to go. Thank you so much. 361 00:18:01,033 --> 00:18:03,797 This was so much fun, and I'm really sorry that I missed your play, 362 00:18:03,870 --> 00:18:05,929 but next time, I'll be there. 363 00:18:06,005 --> 00:18:07,973 Or here. Right here, I promise. 364 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:09,530 Awesome. Okay. 365 00:18:10,143 --> 00:18:11,167 See you later. 366 00:18:11,244 --> 00:18:12,575 Thank you. 367 00:18:21,087 --> 00:18:23,351 It's like The Hurt Locker. 368 00:18:23,422 --> 00:18:24,719 This night was a disaster. 369 00:18:24,790 --> 00:18:26,951 No, it was not a disaster. 370 00:18:27,026 --> 00:18:29,051 It was weird, but it wasn't a disaster. 371 00:18:29,996 --> 00:18:33,397 I think we have, like, a gift bottle of Irish Cream. 372 00:18:33,466 --> 00:18:35,229 Yeah? We could put that in orange juice. 373 00:18:35,301 --> 00:18:36,427 Get it. Yeah? 374 00:18:36,502 --> 00:18:38,436 Let's get our juice on. Yeah. 375 00:18:41,841 --> 00:18:43,172 Found him. 376 00:18:43,643 --> 00:18:47,204 Hey, what's going on here? Post-show blues? 377 00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:48,747 Yeah, I guess you could say that. 378 00:18:48,814 --> 00:18:50,839 Yeah, I get those every day after work. 379 00:18:50,917 --> 00:18:52,350 Your show was really great, Andy. 380 00:18:52,418 --> 00:18:55,546 Interesting subject matter. I'm surprised you pulled it off. 381 00:18:56,556 --> 00:18:57,853 It was like amateur hour. 382 00:18:57,924 --> 00:18:59,516 It was an amateur production, technically. 383 00:18:59,592 --> 00:19:03,756 Oscar, enough with the sass, please! God! What is wrong with you? 384 00:19:03,829 --> 00:19:05,421 Andy, listen to me. 385 00:19:05,498 --> 00:19:06,863 Look me in the eye. 386 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:08,731 I thought that you were awesome. 387 00:19:08,801 --> 00:19:09,859 Stop just saying that. 388 00:19:09,936 --> 00:19:11,335 I am not just saying that. 389 00:19:11,404 --> 00:19:13,395 You can trust that I am telling you the truth. 390 00:19:13,472 --> 00:19:16,464 I booed someone tonight. I have no filter. 391 00:19:16,542 --> 00:19:18,908 And if I thought you were terrible, I would have booed. 392 00:19:18,978 --> 00:19:20,741 And if I thought you had done a better job, 393 00:19:20,813 --> 00:19:23,509 I would be saying nicer things right now. 394 00:19:23,583 --> 00:19:26,484 But I thought that you were exactly awesome. 395 00:19:26,552 --> 00:19:28,315 No better, no worse. 396 00:19:30,223 --> 00:19:31,383 Thank you. That feels good. 397 00:19:31,457 --> 00:19:35,917 I did not say that to make you feel good. I just said it. 398 00:19:35,995 --> 00:19:37,587 Total integrity. 399 00:19:37,663 --> 00:19:39,290 Andy, sing us another song. 400 00:19:39,365 --> 00:19:41,128 Thanks, but I feel like a loner right now. 401 00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:42,565 Come on, Andy. You were the highlight. 402 00:19:42,635 --> 00:19:43,932 Come on, Andy, seriously. 403 00:19:44,003 --> 00:19:45,163 Andy! Andy! 404 00:19:45,238 --> 00:19:46,330 Andy! 405 00:19:46,405 --> 00:19:48,464 Andy! Andy! 406 00:19:48,541 --> 00:19:50,065 Okay, all right. 407 00:19:50,142 --> 00:19:53,703 I try to say goodbye And I choke 408 00:19:53,779 --> 00:19:56,373 Try to walk away And I stumble 409 00:19:56,449 --> 00:19:58,713 Though I try to hide it It's clear 410 00:19:58,784 --> 00:20:01,685 My world crumbles When you are not here 411 00:20:02,255 --> 00:20:07,557 I play it off but I'm dreaming of you 412 00:20:07,627 --> 00:20:10,960 I keep my cool But I'm fiending 413 00:20:11,030 --> 00:20:14,056 - I try to say goodbye - And I choke 414 00:20:14,500 --> 00:20:17,162 Try to walk away And I stumble 415 00:20:17,236 --> 00:20:19,898 Though I try to hide it It's clear 416 00:20:19,972 --> 00:20:23,567 My world crumbles When you are not near 417 00:20:23,643 --> 00:20:25,941 My world 418 00:20:26,045 --> 00:20:27,603 It crumbles 419 00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:31,582 When you are not here 420 00:20:46,799 --> 00:20:48,357 In the criminal justice system, 421 00:20:48,434 --> 00:20:52,427 the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups, 422 00:20:52,505 --> 00:20:53,938 the police who investigate the crimes, 423 00:20:54,006 --> 00:20:56,702 and the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders. 424 00:20:56,776 --> 00:20:58,073 These are their stories. 425 00:21:01,747 --> 00:21:04,113 I'm just a cleaning lady. 426 00:21:04,250 --> 00:21:06,150 A dead body! 427 00:21:06,552 --> 00:21:08,884 He wrapped his belt around his own neck. 428 00:21:08,954 --> 00:21:12,117 It looks like a classic case of autoerotic asphyxiation. 429 00:21:12,191 --> 00:21:15,490 Yeah, looks like everybody's tightening their belts in this economy. 430 00:21:19,065 --> 00:21:21,659 Last time you saw the victim, was he happy? 431 00:21:21,734 --> 00:21:25,329 Last time I saw this John he was... 432 00:21:25,404 --> 00:21:27,338 He wasn't a victim, if you know what I'm talking about. 433 00:21:27,406 --> 00:21:28,634 Thank you. No! 434 00:21:28,708 --> 00:21:30,733 That was just part... I was just getting into the first act. 435 00:21:31,195 --> 00:21:41,195 Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.