1
00:00:01,160 --> 00:00:03,890
What about this one?
It's kind of badass, right?

2
00:00:05,931 --> 00:00:08,491
It just seems kind of crazy in
a way I might need right now.

3
00:00:08,667 --> 00:00:13,331
I don't know.
Oh, that's not yours.

4
00:00:13,605 --> 00:00:16,005
Stanley just
drank OJ out of my mug

5
00:00:16,108 --> 00:00:19,669
and didn't seem to realize
that it wasn't his hot coffee.

6
00:00:19,778 --> 00:00:22,076
So, the question
has to be asked,

7
00:00:22,147 --> 00:00:25,310
is there no limit to
what he won't notice?

8
00:00:25,884 --> 00:00:28,011
What's a seven-letter
word for purse?

9
00:00:29,154 --> 00:00:30,382
Satchel.

10
00:00:30,556 --> 00:00:32,319
No. Starts with an "H."

11
00:00:32,391 --> 00:00:33,619
Handbag!

12
00:00:35,194 --> 00:00:36,183
Hmm, thank you.

13
00:00:38,697 --> 00:00:39,686
Shh.

14
00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:47,034
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

15
00:00:50,742 --> 00:00:52,437
All right, everybody.
Take a seat.

16
00:00:52,711 --> 00:00:55,771
As you may have heard, our
branch on the planet Jupiter

17
00:00:55,914 --> 00:00:58,212
is up 8,000% in sales.

18
00:01:03,088 --> 00:01:06,455
Hold up. That clock is slow.
It is 5:00.

19
00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:08,784
I will see you all
tomorrow.

20
00:01:08,861 --> 00:01:10,226
Bye, Stanley,
love you.

21
00:01:14,299 --> 00:01:15,357
So long, Stanley.

22
00:01:15,434 --> 00:01:16,833
Night, everybody.

23
00:01:43,095 --> 00:01:44,653
So, what kind of
statement are you making

24
00:01:44,730 --> 00:01:46,027
with that costume,
Kevin?

25
00:01:46,131 --> 00:01:48,531
Well, the statement
that I am making, Oscar,

26
00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:50,932
is I kind of look
like Michael Moore.

27
00:01:52,838 --> 00:01:54,169
Dunder Mifflin,
this is Erin.

28
00:01:54,273 --> 00:01:56,901
Happy Halloween.
How can I haunt you today?

29
00:01:57,075 --> 00:01:59,441
A lot of people are really getting
into Halloween this year.

30
00:01:59,511 --> 00:02:00,978
Six seconds, MacGruber.

31
00:02:01,046 --> 00:02:02,911
Pam's got a lot of
fun stuff planned...

32
00:02:03,749 --> 00:02:05,011
Two seconds, MacGruber.

33
00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:08,246
Including a costume contest
and bobbing for apples

34
00:02:08,554 --> 00:02:09,748
and a ouija board.

35
00:02:09,821 --> 00:02:12,119
Oh! Boom!
Oh! Explosion!

36
00:02:12,324 --> 00:02:13,848
MacGruber!

37
00:02:14,626 --> 00:02:17,254
People are really into the
costume contest this year.

38
00:02:17,763 --> 00:02:20,391
Might have something to do with the prize.
Maybe you've heard of it?

39
00:02:20,499 --> 00:02:23,297
The 2011 Scranton-Wilkes-Barre
coupon book,

40
00:02:23,368 --> 00:02:26,769
worth over
$15,000 in savings.

41
00:02:28,807 --> 00:02:30,331
Stop.
Too late.

42
00:02:30,442 --> 00:02:33,969
If I was the real Scranton Strangler,
you'd be so strangled by now.

43
00:02:34,146 --> 00:02:36,876
And if you're out there,
Strangler, you will get caught.

44
00:02:36,949 --> 00:02:38,473
By me.

45
00:02:38,717 --> 00:02:40,378
Sounds like someone's really
trying to convince us

46
00:02:40,452 --> 00:02:41,976
that he's not
the Scranton Strangler.

47
00:02:42,054 --> 00:02:43,817
To my chickens,
I'm the Scranton Strangler.

48
00:02:45,424 --> 00:02:47,392
Oh-ho.
That's very funny.

49
00:02:48,126 --> 00:02:50,458
Looks like someone decided to dress
up as old Dwight Schrute's mom.

50
00:02:50,662 --> 00:02:52,425
What? You're only
one-third as beautiful

51
00:02:52,497 --> 00:02:53,759
and about
half her height.

52
00:02:54,266 --> 00:02:56,632
I am supposed to be Olive Oyl.
And it makes more sense

53
00:02:56,702 --> 00:02:58,829
when I'm standing
next to Popeye,

54
00:02:58,904 --> 00:03:01,372
but Jim doesn't
wanna put his costume on.

55
00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:02,834
I am Popeye.

56
00:03:03,242 --> 00:03:05,608
I've never really
been a costume guy.

57
00:03:05,811 --> 00:03:08,405
Even when I was a kid, it just felt
like something I was too old for.

58
00:03:09,581 --> 00:03:13,984
And then this morning, Pam
hands me this little number.

59
00:03:14,753 --> 00:03:15,777
No.

60
00:03:16,054 --> 00:03:20,718
In case you can't read
my, my, my poker face,

61
00:03:20,859 --> 00:03:22,793
We will be reviewing
our sales policies.

62
00:03:24,129 --> 00:03:27,428
I have 10 seconds to explain them
or this whole place blows up.

63
00:03:27,499 --> 00:03:28,989
MacGruber!

64
00:03:29,901 --> 00:03:30,993
Lame.

65
00:03:31,603 --> 00:03:33,264
Why don't
witches wear panties?

66
00:03:33,405 --> 00:03:34,463
Oh, here we go.

67
00:03:34,740 --> 00:03:36,503
Because they need
to grip the broom.

68
00:03:39,077 --> 00:03:42,569
Oh! Who likes to water-ski
on Lake Eerie? No, wait.

69
00:03:42,781 --> 00:03:44,009
Where does Dracula
like to water-ski?

70
00:03:44,082 --> 00:03:45,242
Lake Eerie.

71
00:03:45,317 --> 00:03:47,285
When our warehouse workers
make deliveries,

72
00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:50,378
they're gonna be encouraged to
offer clients extra products.

73
00:03:50,622 --> 00:03:52,419
And then they will split those
commissions with sales.

74
00:03:52,491 --> 00:03:55,051
Wait, so drivers are gonna be
able to sell paper on the road?

75
00:03:55,127 --> 00:03:56,116
That is correct.

76
00:03:56,261 --> 00:03:58,252
Has anyone started calling
you Gabe-wad yet?

77
00:03:58,597 --> 00:03:59,621
Not here, no.

78
00:03:59,698 --> 00:04:00,756
Gabe-wad.

79
00:04:01,833 --> 00:04:03,300
Okay, guys.
Fun is fun, but...

80
00:04:05,837 --> 00:04:06,826
Blackula.

81
00:04:06,905 --> 00:04:07,997
Dracula.

82
00:04:08,073 --> 00:04:10,803
Oh, so,
and I almost forgot,

83
00:04:11,276 --> 00:04:12,368
you'll find this
hilarious.

84
00:04:12,811 --> 00:04:16,645
Apparently corporate
is going to have drivers

85
00:04:16,715 --> 00:04:19,240
sell paper on
their routes now.

86
00:04:19,318 --> 00:04:22,185
That's, like, exactly sort
of the idea that you had.

87
00:04:22,487 --> 00:04:26,116
Yes, I do remember saying
something like that to you.

88
00:04:26,425 --> 00:04:27,824
Yeah.

89
00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:29,883
I'm sorry.

90
00:04:30,595 --> 00:04:31,584
I blew this.

91
00:04:31,797 --> 00:04:33,230
You should have gotten
credit for that, man.

92
00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:34,695
I'm just glad
we're gonna try it out.

93
00:04:34,766 --> 00:04:35,892
Really? We're good?

94
00:04:36,068 --> 00:04:37,092
We're cool.

95
00:04:37,169 --> 00:04:38,466
Okay.

96
00:04:38,637 --> 00:04:40,264
Okay. What's that in your shirt?

97
00:04:40,806 --> 00:04:41,864
Oh.

98
00:04:41,940 --> 00:04:45,535
That's a ream of paper.
I thought you might hit me.

99
00:04:45,610 --> 00:04:49,876
Darryl Philbin is the
greatest guy in the world.

100
00:04:50,315 --> 00:04:51,407
And you know
what I'd like?

101
00:04:51,516 --> 00:04:55,816
I would like to have all the
racists brought together,

102
00:04:55,887 --> 00:04:58,617
and take Darryl Philbin
out to lunch,

103
00:04:58,690 --> 00:05:00,351
just to see what
they're missing.

104
00:05:00,826 --> 00:05:01,815
It's a great stick, right?

105
00:05:01,893 --> 00:05:02,917
It's really good.

106
00:05:03,095 --> 00:05:05,529
A classic. I feel like you might
win the whole thing with that.

107
00:05:05,764 --> 00:05:07,698
- Thanks.
- Everyone realizes

108
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:10,963
this coupon book is not
actually worth $15,000, right?

109
00:05:11,036 --> 00:05:13,766
You'd have to spend $200,000
on crap you don't even need

110
00:05:14,172 --> 00:05:15,764
to get $15,000
worth of benefits.

111
00:05:16,375 --> 00:05:18,206
I'm not the only one who
sees this, right? No.

112
00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:19,265
Well, sure.
No.

113
00:05:19,344 --> 00:05:20,333
No.

114
00:05:20,412 --> 00:05:21,401
I get that.
I get that.

115
00:05:21,646 --> 00:05:23,079
Uh, excuse me,
everyone?

116
00:05:23,148 --> 00:05:26,447
I wanna invite you all to the
Halloween party I'm having at my bar.

117
00:05:26,752 --> 00:05:27,980
You own a bar?

118
00:05:28,186 --> 00:05:30,120
Public School,
at exit 11.

119
00:05:30,655 --> 00:05:34,421
That's a great name.
You're hilarious.

120
00:05:35,427 --> 00:05:36,416
A plus!

121
00:05:36,495 --> 00:05:38,895
So, you're all on the list.

122
00:05:38,997 --> 00:05:41,989
Hey, man, can I get a plus five?
It's all guys.

123
00:05:42,134 --> 00:05:44,762
Hey, what's the crowd like,
Danny? Our age?

124
00:05:44,903 --> 00:05:45,892
Okay.

125
00:05:46,671 --> 00:05:49,936
I don't think that she
would leave Jim for Danny.

126
00:05:50,041 --> 00:05:52,032
I don't know.
They're both handsome.

127
00:05:52,210 --> 00:05:56,271
Pam is gonna choose whoever has a
scent most like that of her father.

128
00:05:56,348 --> 00:05:57,815
Does anyone remember
what her dad smelled like?

129
00:05:58,049 --> 00:05:59,175
I think he...

130
00:05:59,251 --> 00:06:00,343
Hey, hey, gang, quiet.
Here she comes.

131
00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:05,187
Did you hear about that Danny guy?
Heard he used to date Pam.

132
00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:07,985
So, four years ago, when I was
in Stamford, Connecticut,

133
00:06:08,093 --> 00:06:11,688
and dating someone else, Pam
went on two dates with Danny,

134
00:06:11,797 --> 00:06:14,163
which was obviously the
greatest love story ever told,

135
00:06:14,232 --> 00:06:16,257
given how much people are
walking on eggshells around us.

136
00:06:16,334 --> 00:06:18,495
We were basically Romeo and Juliet.
That's right.

137
00:06:18,570 --> 00:06:20,470
Except where Juliet doesn't
have that great a time

138
00:06:20,539 --> 00:06:22,632
and Romeo doesn't call
back after two dates.

139
00:06:22,707 --> 00:06:23,765
Yikes.

140
00:06:23,875 --> 00:06:26,571
But I've learned
to love again.

141
00:06:26,645 --> 00:06:28,613
He's a cartoon sailor,
Oh! No.

142
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:30,944
And he looks so handsome
in his uniform. No.

143
00:06:31,016 --> 00:06:32,005
Please!
No, I'm not gonna... No.

144
00:06:32,484 --> 00:06:34,816
Tuna! Tuna!

145
00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:37,545
If you want us to
skip this party...

146
00:06:37,722 --> 00:06:38,711
I don't care.

147
00:06:38,790 --> 00:06:41,588
I am never gonna forget
what Danny did to Pam.

148
00:06:41,827 --> 00:06:43,454
I forget nothing.

149
00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:45,121
I'm like an elephant
in that way.

150
00:06:45,197 --> 00:06:46,221
You know what else?

151
00:06:46,298 --> 00:06:49,267
This sucks for Jim, right?

152
00:06:49,334 --> 00:06:50,926
But it also sucks for us

153
00:06:51,002 --> 00:06:53,664
because we don't get invited
to a ton of Halloween parties.

154
00:06:53,738 --> 00:06:56,366
Yeah. And like, everyone's
gonna be there.

155
00:06:56,508 --> 00:06:58,100
Stanley,

156
00:06:58,176 --> 00:06:59,165
Phyllis,

157
00:06:59,244 --> 00:07:00,438
Angela,

158
00:07:00,512 --> 00:07:01,809
Darryl...

159
00:07:01,913 --> 00:07:03,972
Creed's a maybe.
Creed's going?

160
00:07:06,718 --> 00:07:10,415
Madge from the warehouse
just made her first sale.

161
00:07:10,489 --> 00:07:13,890
Madge! We should have been
doing this a long time ago.

162
00:07:16,928 --> 00:07:21,388
Erin? Would you
please do me a solid,

163
00:07:21,466 --> 00:07:24,663
and get Darryl Philbin
on the speakerphone?

164
00:07:29,007 --> 00:07:30,031
Hello?

165
00:07:30,108 --> 00:07:31,735
Hi, Darryl,
come out here, please.

166
00:07:32,811 --> 00:07:33,835
I'm good.

167
00:07:34,112 --> 00:07:35,511
You need to stop
being so shy,

168
00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:38,447
come out here and embrace
who you really are, superstar.

169
00:07:38,517 --> 00:07:39,779
This is embarrassing,
Michael.

170
00:07:39,851 --> 00:07:40,943
Yeah, I bet it is.

171
00:07:41,019 --> 00:07:42,919
You're gonna do
your job well here,

172
00:07:42,988 --> 00:07:44,819
you gotta get used
to being embarrassed.

173
00:07:44,890 --> 00:07:46,187
Well, let me put
my shoes on.

174
00:07:49,728 --> 00:07:51,218
Hit the speakerphone button.

175
00:07:51,997 --> 00:07:53,965
The speakerphone button.

176
00:07:54,065 --> 00:07:55,657
Same button as
you hit before.

177
00:07:56,635 --> 00:07:57,727
- Same...
- Your call cannot...

178
00:07:57,802 --> 00:07:58,791
Or sit on it.

179
00:07:59,037 --> 00:08:02,837
This whole delivery slash sales
idea, you know whose that was?

180
00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:04,067
That was Darryl Philbin's.

181
00:08:04,309 --> 00:08:08,143
He thought of that way before
the corporate fatsuits.

182
00:08:08,380 --> 00:08:10,314
So, what happened?
I got in the way.

183
00:08:10,415 --> 00:08:12,315
I said, "No,"

184
00:08:12,417 --> 00:08:14,510
and it just stopped.

185
00:08:14,586 --> 00:08:17,612
But then, corporate
comes up with this idea.

186
00:08:17,689 --> 00:08:21,318
But you know what? They need
to know that it was yours.

187
00:08:21,393 --> 00:08:23,054
And I don't care
if I take a bullet.

188
00:08:23,128 --> 00:08:24,459
We are going to
call them,

189
00:08:24,529 --> 00:08:26,622
we are gonna put them on
speakerphone right now, Oh. Oh.

190
00:08:26,865 --> 00:08:29,527
And we are going to
straighten this out.

191
00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:32,194
Screw corporate! They probably
stole the idea anyway.

192
00:08:32,370 --> 00:08:33,803
Mmm-hmm.
- Uh.

193
00:08:33,939 --> 00:08:35,031
Corporate stole nothing. Okay?

194
00:08:35,106 --> 00:08:36,630
Darryl brought this
idea to me.

195
00:08:36,775 --> 00:08:39,209
And then I told them,
giving Darryl full credit. So,

196
00:08:39,511 --> 00:08:41,206
no need to
"screw corporate."

197
00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:44,073
Everyone, let's give Darryl a
round of applause as planned.

198
00:08:49,487 --> 00:08:51,079
I'm a little peeved
at Darryl right now.

199
00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:52,714
He went to Gabe
behind your back!

200
00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:55,418
No, he didn't go behind my back.
He went over my head.

201
00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:57,893
He went over your head
to go behind your back.

202
00:08:58,630 --> 00:09:00,188
What is taking
someone from behind?

203
00:09:00,265 --> 00:09:01,527
No. Shh.
Michael, listen.

204
00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:04,068
This cannot stand. You can't have
workers going straight to corporate.

205
00:09:04,135 --> 00:09:05,329
It makes your
job superfluous.

206
00:09:05,403 --> 00:09:06,768
It was a good idea, though.

207
00:09:06,871 --> 00:09:10,671
Yeah, here's another good idea,
corporate chain of command.

208
00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:15,138
We need to
strangle Darryl's idea.

209
00:09:15,947 --> 00:09:17,209
Hey, Danny.
Hey.

210
00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:20,541
I'm really sorry, but we can't
come to your party tonight.

211
00:09:20,652 --> 00:09:22,677
I was looking forward to throwing
some darts with you guys.

212
00:09:22,887 --> 00:09:23,945
You were?
Okay, well then...

213
00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:27,514
I mean, maybe we could do
it like, next Halloween?

214
00:09:27,726 --> 00:09:28,715
For sure.
We're just, like,

215
00:09:28,994 --> 00:09:30,427
totally caught in
the middle here.

216
00:09:30,495 --> 00:09:31,621
What are you
talking about?

217
00:09:32,063 --> 00:09:34,691
Well, Jim and Pam basically
begged us not to go.

218
00:09:34,966 --> 00:09:36,627
Jim and Pam really
don't want you to go?

219
00:09:37,068 --> 00:09:40,128
They're really upset about
the whole Danny situation.

220
00:09:40,238 --> 00:09:41,398
I'll talk to 'em.

221
00:09:41,473 --> 00:09:44,965
Yeah, but do you know what? Don't tell
them that we said anything to you.

222
00:09:45,810 --> 00:09:46,834
Okay.

223
00:09:46,911 --> 00:09:48,276
Okay? Or you're dead.

224
00:09:48,380 --> 00:09:49,369
Okay.

225
00:09:49,481 --> 00:09:50,470
Okay.

226
00:09:52,817 --> 00:09:55,377
Kelly!
Great costume.

227
00:09:56,354 --> 00:10:00,188
Kelly! You cannot change costumes
in the middle of the day!

228
00:10:00,291 --> 00:10:01,383
Pam, she's out.

229
00:10:02,027 --> 00:10:05,258
If I'm out, I'm gonna sue this
entire company for discrimination.

230
00:10:05,363 --> 00:10:07,888
Guys, you're arguing over
a one-in-sixteen chance,

231
00:10:08,033 --> 00:10:10,524
over a prize worth $40.

232
00:10:10,769 --> 00:10:12,202
Fifteen thousand
bucks, Oscar.

233
00:10:12,270 --> 00:10:13,669
Yeah, shut it,
Oscar. Pam?

234
00:10:13,905 --> 00:10:15,429
This is an amazing prize.

235
00:10:15,507 --> 00:10:17,498
I mean, I don't even wanna
give Pam a compliment,

236
00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:21,102
'cause she's so, ugh...
But she did a good job.

237
00:10:21,179 --> 00:10:22,271
I really want
that coupon book.

238
00:10:22,781 --> 00:10:24,908
Garbage magnet.
Garbage magnet.

239
00:10:25,016 --> 00:10:27,177
God! Magnets are
interesting enough,

240
00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:30,278
you don't need to tart
'em up with some design.

241
00:10:30,422 --> 00:10:33,550
I can't believe this
doesn't make you mad.

242
00:10:33,658 --> 00:10:35,091
What the hell are
they talking about?

243
00:10:35,493 --> 00:10:39,259
Hmm. Kevin and Gabe? Probably about
the extremes of the human physique.

244
00:10:39,364 --> 00:10:41,093
Do you think Kevin
is going over my head?

245
00:10:41,232 --> 00:10:44,759
I don't... Oh, my God. Okay. All
right, all right, all right.

246
00:10:44,836 --> 00:10:47,703
You know what?
That's inappropriate, Kevin.

247
00:10:47,806 --> 00:10:48,830
I am your boss.

248
00:10:48,907 --> 00:10:51,273
And if you have something
to say, it goes through me,

249
00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:52,705
and then I
take it to Gabe.

250
00:10:52,977 --> 00:10:54,467
Chain of command.
Do you understand?

251
00:10:54,579 --> 00:10:56,308
I am so sorry.
Oh, you're sorry?

252
00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:58,075
I just thought... What
did you just thought?

253
00:10:58,683 --> 00:11:00,480
Well, Gabe asked me
if there were

254
00:11:00,552 --> 00:11:03,214
any really cool
Lady Gaga moves

255
00:11:03,321 --> 00:11:04,788
that he could do
for the catwalk.

256
00:11:05,490 --> 00:11:07,014
And so, then I told...

257
00:11:07,459 --> 00:11:08,483
All right.

258
00:11:08,593 --> 00:11:10,686
I told him that there
was this one cool move

259
00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:13,025
where she powers down
like a robot.

260
00:11:13,131 --> 00:11:14,120
Okay.

261
00:11:14,199 --> 00:11:16,030
Okay? But I'm so sorry that...

262
00:11:16,101 --> 00:11:17,295
All right.
I didn't tell you first.

263
00:11:17,368 --> 00:11:19,495
Well, don't let it
happen again.

264
00:11:19,571 --> 00:11:22,131
You think that I would
let this happen again?

265
00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:23,901
No way, Jose!

266
00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:25,700
Um.

267
00:11:27,712 --> 00:11:29,043
You, Gabe.

268
00:11:30,415 --> 00:11:32,940
Can you imagine?
It's just crazy.

269
00:11:33,017 --> 00:11:34,075
That is crazy.

270
00:11:34,352 --> 00:11:36,411
We would never care if Andy
or Kevin went to your party.

271
00:11:36,488 --> 00:11:38,581
Look, I'm just glad
we can laugh about it,

272
00:11:38,690 --> 00:11:41,158
because I was a little nervous
about coming to work here,

273
00:11:41,226 --> 00:11:42,659
with, you know,
our history.

274
00:11:42,861 --> 00:11:45,159
Oh, my gosh. Everyone keeps
blowing that out of proportion.

275
00:11:45,230 --> 00:11:47,289
It's not even a history.
Exactly.

276
00:11:47,398 --> 00:11:50,094
It's not like you guys had
some long relationship, right?

277
00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:51,961
Big painful breakup
I don't know about?

278
00:11:52,036 --> 00:11:53,128
No!

279
00:11:53,438 --> 00:11:54,666
Two or three dates.
It was two.

280
00:11:55,039 --> 00:11:56,438
Was it two?
I thought it was three.

281
00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:59,238
No, we had plans
for a third,

282
00:11:59,310 --> 00:12:01,801
but then, I don't know, you
never called me back. So...

283
00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:03,404
Oh! You can't
handle the truth!

284
00:12:04,582 --> 00:12:06,447
Well, that does not
sound like me.

285
00:12:06,518 --> 00:12:08,952
Yeah. It was, though.
That's what happened.

286
00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:11,147
Uh.

287
00:12:12,357 --> 00:12:14,655
Well, great, I just wanted to
make sure things weren't weird.

288
00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:15,985
Uh-uh.

289
00:12:18,630 --> 00:12:21,121
Okay. This whole
going over my head gate

290
00:12:21,232 --> 00:12:22,665
is making people act weird.

291
00:12:22,901 --> 00:12:24,129
Chain of command
is crumbling.

292
00:12:24,235 --> 00:12:26,328
Do you know what just happened?
I just made Kevin cry.

293
00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:29,867
And Gabe looks like Lady Gaga.
That's not Halloween.

294
00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:33,302
Halloween should be a day
in which we honor monsters

295
00:12:33,378 --> 00:12:34,640
and not be mad
at each other.

296
00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:36,441
I'm not mad.
Are you mad?

297
00:12:36,581 --> 00:12:39,049
You went over my head,
and then you lied to my face.

298
00:12:39,117 --> 00:12:41,551
So, my head and my face
have taken a beating.

299
00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:44,411
Well, I'm sorry if it
seems that way to you.

300
00:12:44,556 --> 00:12:45,614
Okay, that might help.

301
00:12:45,690 --> 00:12:47,783
If you said "I'm sorry"
in front of everybody...

302
00:12:47,959 --> 00:12:49,051
Mike.
in front of me.

303
00:12:49,127 --> 00:12:52,255
You made a bad call
and I fixed it.

304
00:12:52,397 --> 00:12:54,058
So, I'm not apologizing.

305
00:12:54,199 --> 00:12:55,860
So, that's it?

306
00:12:56,301 --> 00:12:57,632
That's it.
Is it?

307
00:12:58,036 --> 00:12:59,094
Yes.

308
00:13:02,674 --> 00:13:03,663
Sookie!

309
00:13:06,444 --> 00:13:08,173
Bill Compton
from True Blood.

310
00:13:08,246 --> 00:13:11,443
How many freaking vampires am I
supposed to care about these days?

311
00:13:11,850 --> 00:13:13,647
Well, I guess you could say
I'm still in costume.

312
00:13:13,852 --> 00:13:16,514
I'm a rational
"consumer."

313
00:13:17,188 --> 00:13:18,450
Oh. Oh, yeah.
So, it's...

314
00:13:20,658 --> 00:13:22,717
This stupid
coupon booklet.

315
00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:25,453
Have you seen my costume?
I'm a rational "consumer."

316
00:13:25,530 --> 00:13:27,964
Yeah, I heard you say it to Phyllis.
That's a good line.

317
00:13:28,132 --> 00:13:30,623
Okay, everybody.
After you walk the runway,

318
00:13:30,702 --> 00:13:33,170
everyone has to vote for
who gets the coupon book.

319
00:13:33,238 --> 00:13:34,603
And you can't
vote for yourself.

320
00:13:34,672 --> 00:13:37,106
Pam, can you vote
for other people?

321
00:13:37,175 --> 00:13:40,201
Hey, I gotta get in on this.
Hey, it's cool, man.

322
00:13:40,278 --> 00:13:43,372
I work in the warehouse.
I'm cool!

323
00:13:43,514 --> 00:13:45,311
I'm hip and I'm jive!

324
00:13:45,650 --> 00:13:47,743
But I don't care
about nobody!

325
00:13:48,019 --> 00:13:49,418
Do you know who I am?

326
00:13:49,554 --> 00:13:52,421
Happy Halloween, jerk!

327
00:13:53,658 --> 00:13:54,818
Still don't know
who I am?

328
00:13:55,159 --> 00:13:56,592
I'll give you a hint.

329
00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:58,724
I go over other
people's heads.

330
00:13:58,930 --> 00:14:00,192
Michael, this is
a bad idea.

331
00:14:00,265 --> 00:14:01,459
What's a bad idea?

332
00:14:01,699 --> 00:14:04,566
Dressing up as somebody. I mean,
when has that ever worked for you?

333
00:14:04,702 --> 00:14:05,691
Never!

334
00:14:06,537 --> 00:14:09,335
Okay, you know what, fine.
I'm not Darryl.

335
00:14:10,041 --> 00:14:11,269
And thank God
I'm not Darryl.

336
00:14:11,442 --> 00:14:13,569
Could you have for once
just let us enjoy a party,

337
00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:15,408
instead of making it
about all your issues?

338
00:14:25,857 --> 00:14:26,846
That's a warrior!

339
00:14:33,398 --> 00:14:36,890
I present to you
the rational "consumer,"

340
00:14:37,435 --> 00:14:38,424
as it were.

341
00:14:46,444 --> 00:14:48,241
Slow, nice
and slow, honey.

342
00:14:48,313 --> 00:14:49,541
Angela as a nurse.

343
00:14:49,647 --> 00:14:51,274
Don't... No, slow it down.
There it is.

344
00:14:51,382 --> 00:14:52,406
I don't like your tone.

345
00:14:52,650 --> 00:14:55,619
Look, they were sold out of
all the other costumes, okay?

346
00:14:57,455 --> 00:14:59,423
I think we all live
in the real world here.

347
00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:03,016
Let's not pretend to be unaware
of what sells in this office.

348
00:15:03,161 --> 00:15:04,219
What should we ask?

349
00:15:04,295 --> 00:15:05,853
Hey, can I play?

350
00:15:05,964 --> 00:15:09,559
Why don't you ask if
Darryl is a bad friend

351
00:15:09,667 --> 00:15:10,964
who backstabs
people in the back?

352
00:15:11,436 --> 00:15:14,269
We have one question to ask the spirit
world and you want us to ask that?

353
00:15:14,973 --> 00:15:16,133
He says no.

354
00:15:16,207 --> 00:15:17,970
Uh, Darryl moved it.
You moved it.

355
00:15:18,142 --> 00:15:19,166
No.

356
00:15:19,243 --> 00:15:20,767
Hey, Dwight, you saw
Darryl move it, right?

357
00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:25,675
Let's just say I saw exactly what
the two of you wanted me to see.

358
00:15:25,817 --> 00:15:27,808
I know how to
sit on a fence.

359
00:15:27,919 --> 00:15:30,479
Hell, I can even
sleep on a fence.

360
00:15:30,555 --> 00:15:33,786
The trick is to do it face down
with the post in your mouth.

361
00:15:34,092 --> 00:15:36,287
If you had one word you would
use to describe Darryl,

362
00:15:36,361 --> 00:15:37,828
what would
that word be?

363
00:15:39,597 --> 00:15:40,655
A...

364
00:15:42,133 --> 00:15:43,122
S...

365
00:15:43,768 --> 00:15:44,757
S...

366
00:15:48,106 --> 00:15:49,733
H... No!

367
00:15:50,541 --> 00:15:52,202
Uh. E...

368
00:15:52,810 --> 00:15:53,799
T.

369
00:15:53,945 --> 00:15:55,037
An asset.

370
00:15:58,716 --> 00:15:59,705
That's enough.

371
00:16:03,855 --> 00:16:05,846
I don't think it's gonna
work out the way you think.

372
00:16:06,257 --> 00:16:07,485
I don't think
you get it.

373
00:16:10,528 --> 00:16:11,995
Hey.
Hey.

374
00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:13,222
This is some party, huh?

375
00:16:13,297 --> 00:16:15,561
When you work hard,
you play hard around here.

376
00:16:15,633 --> 00:16:16,657
Even if you
don't work hard.

377
00:16:19,637 --> 00:16:20,865
Oh, here's something.

378
00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:22,030
Uh.

379
00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:24,904
Why didn't you
ever call Pam back?

380
00:16:25,176 --> 00:16:26,165
Serious?

381
00:16:27,211 --> 00:16:30,203
Yeah. I mean, I'm not saying that everybody
has to fall in love or anything.

382
00:16:30,314 --> 00:16:31,508
I'm just saying, but...
To, you know,

383
00:16:31,582 --> 00:16:33,015
to not even
call her back is...

384
00:16:33,084 --> 00:16:35,644
You know what it was? I think
she gave me her number,

385
00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:37,745
but then, her fours
look like eights and...

386
00:16:37,822 --> 00:16:38,846
Could be.

387
00:16:38,923 --> 00:16:42,324
But you also called her the second
time, so you had the number right.

388
00:16:42,393 --> 00:16:43,382
Halpert,

389
00:16:43,961 --> 00:16:45,929
you looking for
someone to bang your wife?

390
00:16:46,064 --> 00:16:47,395
No.
Okay.

391
00:16:48,866 --> 00:16:49,855
You want to know?

392
00:16:51,569 --> 00:16:53,537
I didn't call her back because
she spent the whole date

393
00:16:53,604 --> 00:16:54,730
talking about you.

394
00:16:55,406 --> 00:16:58,068
She was obviously
in love with you.

395
00:17:00,378 --> 00:17:01,811
Fifty-seven,
fifty-eight...

396
00:17:01,879 --> 00:17:03,506
Wait, wait.
She hasn't moved in a while.

397
00:17:04,082 --> 00:17:05,106
Erin!

398
00:17:05,183 --> 00:17:08,152
Two! I got two!
I ate two whole apples!

399
00:17:12,323 --> 00:17:15,224
I'd remember talking about Jim.
That wasn't it.

400
00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:17,794
Just tell her
the real reason.

401
00:17:18,229 --> 00:17:20,220
Do you honestly wanna know
why I didn't call her back

402
00:17:20,298 --> 00:17:21,697
on a date
over four years ago?

403
00:17:21,766 --> 00:17:22,994
Hey, she had
a nice time.

404
00:17:23,067 --> 00:17:24,056
It seems rude.
Well...

405
00:17:24,135 --> 00:17:25,762
I did. Yeah, and it's
one of those things

406
00:17:25,837 --> 00:17:27,395
that's just gonna
keep gnawing at me.

407
00:17:27,805 --> 00:17:30,740
Like, gnaw, gnaw... "Why? Why didn't he?
I have no idea why."

408
00:17:30,908 --> 00:17:33,536
Okay, honestly,
I didn't call you back

409
00:17:33,644 --> 00:17:35,874
because I just thought
you seemed a little

410
00:17:35,947 --> 00:17:36,971
dorky.

411
00:17:40,184 --> 00:17:41,583
Hey, man...
Thank you!

412
00:17:41,652 --> 00:17:44,246
Thank you. I got it.

413
00:17:44,422 --> 00:17:45,889
Now I know.

414
00:17:46,290 --> 00:17:49,259
You thought I was a little dorky.
You know?

415
00:17:51,062 --> 00:17:56,625
Okay. Well, excuse me.

416
00:17:58,836 --> 00:18:01,361
In the future, you need to get
Michael's approval on anything

417
00:18:01,439 --> 00:18:03,168
before coming to me.
Thank you.

418
00:18:03,241 --> 00:18:05,106
You're gonna miss out
on some good ideas.

419
00:18:05,409 --> 00:18:07,969
Okay, well, obviously if it's
a really, really good idea,

420
00:18:08,045 --> 00:18:09,171
then my door is open.

421
00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:11,805
If they're good ideas,
I'm not gonna say, "No."

422
00:18:11,949 --> 00:18:12,973
You said, "No"
to this one.

423
00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:15,484
That's... Okay, I make
one mistake in 15 years

424
00:18:15,553 --> 00:18:17,077
and you drag me
over the coals.

425
00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:18,279
After everything
I did for you?

426
00:18:18,356 --> 00:18:19,345
What have you
done for me?

427
00:18:19,624 --> 00:18:21,455
Oh, well... What have
you done for me?

428
00:18:21,592 --> 00:18:23,526
Ed Truck hired me.

429
00:18:23,594 --> 00:18:25,027
Jo promoted me.

430
00:18:25,096 --> 00:18:28,497
Gabe listened to me. All you've
ever done was say, "No" to me.

431
00:18:31,202 --> 00:18:33,227
I have ambition,

432
00:18:33,304 --> 00:18:35,238
and you kept me at the
same level for years.

433
00:18:36,307 --> 00:18:37,638
Dropping bombs, right?

434
00:18:39,644 --> 00:18:40,736
This really make
you think, Michael?

435
00:18:40,811 --> 00:18:43,371
Stop it. Stop. Stop.
We're thinking.

436
00:18:44,482 --> 00:18:45,949
- We're thinking about it.
- Yeah.

437
00:18:46,017 --> 00:18:48,315
You don't have to point to the
fact that we're thinking about it.

438
00:18:48,419 --> 00:18:49,977
Stop it.
Just let us think.

439
00:18:51,856 --> 00:18:55,189
Okay, next time you
have a really great idea,

440
00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:57,227
we will put it in a hat,

441
00:18:57,995 --> 00:19:00,793
and then we will have Erin pick it
out of the hat and let her decide.

442
00:19:00,865 --> 00:19:02,264
I don't understand
the point of a hat.

443
00:19:03,201 --> 00:19:04,361
You're right,
we don't need a hat.

444
00:19:04,435 --> 00:19:06,130
I am not budging
on the hat issue.

445
00:19:06,237 --> 00:19:08,762
Okay, we're gonna
table the hat question.

446
00:19:08,873 --> 00:19:10,306
The best ideas are
gonna come to me.

447
00:19:10,374 --> 00:19:12,672
I make the final
decision, period.

448
00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:17,077
Okay, we both reserve the right to
go to Jo if we disagree with Gabe.

449
00:19:18,015 --> 00:19:19,107
- Okay.
- Fair enough.

450
00:19:19,383 --> 00:19:22,181
Why don't we simplify this?
Darryl brings it to Michael,

451
00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:24,948
Michael brings it to me,
no one calls Jo.

452
00:19:26,724 --> 00:19:28,521
Unless you and I
decide we wanna talk to Jo,

453
00:19:28,593 --> 00:19:29,651
then we'll give her a call.

454
00:19:30,294 --> 00:19:31,318
Cool.

455
00:19:31,395 --> 00:19:33,295
Hey, sorry I left.

456
00:19:33,397 --> 00:19:35,558
I'm sorry I was a jerk.

457
00:19:37,301 --> 00:19:38,632
Friends fight.

458
00:19:39,804 --> 00:19:40,930
Friends fight.

459
00:19:41,138 --> 00:19:42,127
What's up, man?

460
00:19:42,673 --> 00:19:44,004
Sometimes it seems
like it was better

461
00:19:44,075 --> 00:19:45,337
down in the warehouse,
you know?

462
00:19:45,409 --> 00:19:47,172
When I was
a freshman in college,

463
00:19:47,245 --> 00:19:49,236
I worked at
the student newspaper,

464
00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:51,440
the Cornell Daily Sun.
This was at Cornell.

465
00:19:51,515 --> 00:19:54,814
I had to write an op-ed column
every day, "Bernard's Regards."

466
00:19:55,353 --> 00:19:56,684
This was your
freshman year?

467
00:19:57,054 --> 00:20:00,114
I started to ask myself,
do I have big plans here?

468
00:20:00,524 --> 00:20:03,049
I didn't wanna become
editor of that paper, so

469
00:20:03,361 --> 00:20:05,693
I got up and walked right
out of Walter Bernard Hall,

470
00:20:06,063 --> 00:20:07,894
and that's actually
when I heard

471
00:20:08,199 --> 00:20:10,099
eight male voices

472
00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:11,464
singing,

473
00:20:12,203 --> 00:20:14,137
unencumbered
by instruments.

474
00:20:15,039 --> 00:20:16,063
I was hooked.

475
00:20:16,140 --> 00:20:20,201
So, is becoming
CEO of this company

476
00:20:22,613 --> 00:20:23,807
your a cappella group?

477
00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:27,541
Come on. We're going to
Danny's bar, Public School.

478
00:20:27,685 --> 00:20:29,448
No, I got
some work to do.

479
00:20:29,887 --> 00:20:32,082
I do have big plans
at this company.

480
00:20:32,857 --> 00:20:34,518
She... It was fantastic. Yeah.

481
00:20:34,592 --> 00:20:36,116
It was like
a little gentle...

482
00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:40,019
To be honest, I still can't
believe he didn't call her back.

483
00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:44,061
Who doesn't call
a dork like that back?

484
00:20:46,270 --> 00:20:48,101
Oh! Wow!

485
00:20:48,272 --> 00:20:49,534
Spinach in a can!

486
00:20:49,607 --> 00:20:50,938
Power from spinach!

487
00:20:51,042 --> 00:20:52,100
Ag, ag, ag, ag, ag, ag!

488
00:20:52,176 --> 00:20:53,370
Oh, my hero!

489
00:20:58,349 --> 00:21:01,147
Okay, everyone, I've tallied
the votes, and the winner

490
00:21:01,652 --> 00:21:03,847
of the Costume
Celebration Spectacular

491
00:21:03,921 --> 00:21:05,946
and the Scranton-Wilkes-Barre
coupon book,

492
00:21:06,023 --> 00:21:07,183
Oscar Martinez.

493
00:21:08,626 --> 00:21:09,615
Who?

494
00:21:12,963 --> 00:21:14,396
If I have to vote
for someone,

495
00:21:14,465 --> 00:21:16,660
I don't want it to be
someone who can beat me.

496
00:21:17,702 --> 00:21:20,432
Shake things up.
I'm a Nader guy.

497
00:21:21,339 --> 00:21:25,275
Best Edward James Olmos
costume I've ever seen.

498
00:21:26,344 --> 00:21:28,005
Like, freaky good.

499
00:21:29,265 --> 00:21:39,265
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