1 00:00:01,158 --> 00:00:03,650 I know a lot of us have been feeling under the weather lately, 2 00:00:03,727 --> 00:00:04,956 it's that time of year, 3 00:00:05,028 --> 00:00:08,089 and according to a study done by the University of Arizona, 4 00:00:08,232 --> 00:00:09,791 they discovered that your keyboards 5 00:00:09,867 --> 00:00:12,393 have hundreds of times more bacteria 6 00:00:12,469 --> 00:00:14,404 per square inch, than a toilet seat. 7 00:00:14,471 --> 00:00:15,962 I heard your mama has more bacteria 8 00:00:16,039 --> 00:00:17,132 per square inch than a toilet seat. 9 00:00:17,207 --> 00:00:19,438 That's true. That's true. I dated her mama. And you know what? 10 00:00:19,510 --> 00:00:20,500 Stop. 11 00:00:21,245 --> 00:00:22,235 All right. 12 00:00:22,379 --> 00:00:24,905 One of the simplest ways to cut down on the spread of germs 13 00:00:25,015 --> 00:00:26,950 is to use something called the vampire cough. 14 00:00:27,317 --> 00:00:28,683 Did you say vampire? 15 00:00:29,086 --> 00:00:31,578 Oh, no, it's just that, if a vampire had to cough, 16 00:00:31,655 --> 00:00:33,089 he would do it like this. 17 00:00:34,458 --> 00:00:36,654 Uh-huh. Right, and ruin their cloaks? 18 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:39,355 Do you have any idea how expensive wool is in Transylvania? 19 00:00:39,463 --> 00:00:40,453 'Cause of the euro. 20 00:00:40,531 --> 00:00:43,365 Well, other things you can do to help cut down on the spread of disease 21 00:00:43,433 --> 00:00:45,766 are to wash your hands regularly, 22 00:00:45,869 --> 00:00:47,531 don't come in if you're sick, 23 00:00:48,138 --> 00:00:49,572 Ah. and get your flu shot. 24 00:00:49,673 --> 00:00:52,837 Also, I'm going to set up hand-sanitizing stations around the office. 25 00:00:52,943 --> 00:00:56,141 No. No, no. They will cost you your life. 26 00:00:56,213 --> 00:00:57,237 Elaborate. 27 00:00:57,381 --> 00:00:59,873 The worst thing you can do for your immune system is to coddle it. 28 00:01:00,050 --> 00:01:01,541 They need to fight their own battles. 29 00:01:01,919 --> 00:01:04,286 If Sabre really cared about our well-being, 30 00:01:04,354 --> 00:01:06,914 they would set up hand-desanitizing stations. 31 00:01:07,057 --> 00:01:09,356 A simple bowl at every juncture 32 00:01:09,426 --> 00:01:11,952 filled with dirt, vomit, fecal matter. 33 00:01:12,062 --> 00:01:13,052 Exposing yourself to germs... 34 00:01:13,130 --> 00:01:14,154 I'm not going to do that. 35 00:01:14,231 --> 00:01:16,462 is the best way to make yourself stronger. 36 00:01:16,567 --> 00:01:19,469 So by that rationale, if I had to sneeze, I should just sneeze on you. 37 00:01:21,104 --> 00:01:22,663 Yes. I would welcome it. 38 00:01:25,909 --> 00:01:26,968 You're welcome. 39 00:01:27,110 --> 00:01:28,373 The principle is sound. 40 00:01:28,512 --> 00:01:31,209 To avoid illness, expose yourself to germs, 41 00:01:31,281 --> 00:01:34,740 enabling your immune system to develop antibodies. 42 00:01:36,119 --> 00:01:38,748 I don't know why everyone doesn't do this. 43 00:01:38,822 --> 00:01:41,986 Maybe they have something against living forever. 44 00:01:42,990 --> 00:01:49,064 Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers. 45 00:02:04,915 --> 00:02:06,941 Jim, Pam, 46 00:02:07,017 --> 00:02:10,010 and the precious bundle of God's best everything, 47 00:02:10,687 --> 00:02:12,519 I wish you both a pleasant day. 48 00:02:12,723 --> 00:02:15,056 And you, too. Yes. Praise God. 49 00:02:15,125 --> 00:02:16,115 Okay. 50 00:02:16,226 --> 00:02:17,319 Cece's getting christened today. 51 00:02:17,394 --> 00:02:18,384 Big day. 52 00:02:18,595 --> 00:02:20,587 Everyone from work is here. 53 00:02:20,664 --> 00:02:21,688 We weren't planning on that. 54 00:02:21,765 --> 00:02:22,858 Nope. 55 00:02:23,033 --> 00:02:24,501 Top of the Sunday morning to you. 56 00:02:24,568 --> 00:02:26,594 And a top of the day to you, too, sir. 57 00:02:26,903 --> 00:02:28,235 I hope you brought your pipes. 58 00:02:28,305 --> 00:02:29,398 We're about to smoke the opium of the masses. 59 00:02:29,473 --> 00:02:31,203 Oh, yes, doobie-doobie-doo. 60 00:02:32,409 --> 00:02:34,776 I invited everyone in the office 61 00:02:34,845 --> 00:02:38,145 because it's not a day for just Jim, 62 00:02:38,515 --> 00:02:41,144 or Pam, or the baby, or me. 63 00:02:41,284 --> 00:02:43,082 It is about us all. 64 00:02:43,687 --> 00:02:46,452 And I thought we should all celebrate 65 00:02:46,523 --> 00:02:49,584 my joy and our... All of our joys. 66 00:02:50,093 --> 00:02:51,925 Oh, man... 67 00:02:54,364 --> 00:02:56,765 Does the Nard dog want Nard pups? Yeah. 68 00:02:56,833 --> 00:02:58,597 I want a big old litter of Nard pups, 69 00:02:58,669 --> 00:03:00,297 all jumping around and sucking on the teat. 70 00:03:00,370 --> 00:03:02,930 Put them in a box, give them to my neighbors. 71 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:04,508 Yeah, I want kids. 72 00:03:04,975 --> 00:03:07,035 For all your paper and printer needs. 73 00:03:07,144 --> 00:03:09,773 For all your paper and printer needs. 74 00:03:11,448 --> 00:03:13,383 For all your paper and printer needs. 75 00:03:13,450 --> 00:03:16,477 Sunday church service. It's been a few years. 76 00:03:16,987 --> 00:03:20,253 The big guy and I, we've got some catching up to do. 77 00:03:21,692 --> 00:03:23,217 Hey. Hey. 78 00:03:24,594 --> 00:03:27,655 I got an offer that you can't refuse. Scooch over. 79 00:03:27,731 --> 00:03:29,324 Oh, Michael, this is just for family. 80 00:03:29,433 --> 00:03:30,901 But I'm the godfather. 81 00:03:30,967 --> 00:03:32,196 It is really funny, but, you know, 82 00:03:32,269 --> 00:03:33,965 that can be confusing at a christening, 83 00:03:34,071 --> 00:03:35,903 because you are not the godfather. 84 00:03:36,573 --> 00:03:37,973 Are you talking to me? 85 00:03:38,408 --> 00:03:39,501 Okay, your turn. 86 00:03:39,576 --> 00:03:41,943 Scooch, before I shoot you in the head. 87 00:03:42,145 --> 00:03:43,773 Okay, Michael, um, 88 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:46,179 you know, I love when you do that voice, 89 00:03:46,316 --> 00:03:49,081 but today, I'm so sorry, 90 00:03:49,152 --> 00:03:52,145 I need you to tell me that you know you're not Cece's godfather. 91 00:03:52,956 --> 00:03:54,219 Yeah. 92 00:03:55,025 --> 00:03:57,790 I'm sorry, Michael. I need you to say it. I'm so sorry. 93 00:04:00,063 --> 00:04:01,224 I'm not the godfather. 94 00:04:01,498 --> 00:04:02,898 Okay. Thank you. 95 00:04:03,233 --> 00:04:05,202 So who is the godfather? 96 00:04:05,335 --> 00:04:08,032 Our friend Seth and his wife there. Yeah. 97 00:04:08,638 --> 00:04:10,072 Okay. 98 00:04:11,041 --> 00:04:14,034 Old friend, like, you've known him since kindergarten? 99 00:04:14,111 --> 00:04:16,307 No, I met his wife in Mommy And Me. 100 00:04:16,379 --> 00:04:17,972 They're a great couple. You should meet them later. 101 00:04:18,582 --> 00:04:21,074 No, I have plenty of friends, so... 102 00:04:21,952 --> 00:04:23,978 All right, well, you have great seats. Enjoy the show. 103 00:04:24,087 --> 00:04:26,352 Okay. Thank you for coming, Michael. 104 00:04:26,423 --> 00:04:27,652 I don't even know how to say this. 105 00:04:27,858 --> 00:04:32,421 But Cece is turning out to be a little B-I-T-C-H. 106 00:04:33,430 --> 00:04:35,524 And that's not true, 107 00:04:36,199 --> 00:04:38,896 but her parents are kind of boxing me out. 108 00:04:48,645 --> 00:04:50,170 - Good morning. - Good morning. 109 00:04:50,247 --> 00:04:51,237 Good morning. 110 00:04:51,548 --> 00:04:53,244 What a terrific day this is, 111 00:04:53,316 --> 00:04:54,978 and not just because the Eagles are playing. 112 00:04:56,787 --> 00:04:58,449 You may have seen the bus out front. 113 00:04:58,522 --> 00:05:01,082 Today we also say goodbye to our young adult ministry. 114 00:05:01,291 --> 00:05:02,691 They're leaving for three months 115 00:05:02,759 --> 00:05:06,662 to build a school for the village of Quimixto in Cabo Corrientes, Mexico. 116 00:05:07,030 --> 00:05:08,589 I've heard of that place. 117 00:05:08,665 --> 00:05:12,500 If you go to Cabo San Lucas, all the prostitutes are from Cabo Corrientes. 118 00:05:15,672 --> 00:05:18,665 Okay, this is... All right, this is silly. 119 00:05:21,278 --> 00:05:24,407 Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. 120 00:05:24,581 --> 00:05:28,040 And thank you for your prayers for Justin. 121 00:05:28,118 --> 00:05:29,586 We hope for a speedy recovery. 122 00:05:30,053 --> 00:05:31,077 Thank you. 123 00:05:31,254 --> 00:05:34,418 Anyone else with a prayer or a remembrance? 124 00:05:38,829 --> 00:05:40,320 Good morning. Dwight Schrute. 125 00:05:40,397 --> 00:05:44,300 Thank you all for your prayers and your remembrances. 126 00:05:44,434 --> 00:05:46,528 Like Justin and his disfigurement, 127 00:05:46,603 --> 00:05:48,162 I, too, have had a horrible year. 128 00:05:48,538 --> 00:05:52,498 They say that the middle class is disappearing, 129 00:05:52,576 --> 00:05:54,545 and with it, the soul of America. 130 00:05:54,945 --> 00:05:57,847 So, as a gift to this beautiful congregation, 131 00:05:57,914 --> 00:06:00,907 I would like to offer a 4% discount 132 00:06:00,984 --> 00:06:03,715 on all Dunder Mifflin-Sabre products 133 00:06:03,787 --> 00:06:06,484 if you buy a printer at full price. 134 00:06:08,024 --> 00:06:10,323 Christening calls to repentance, 135 00:06:10,393 --> 00:06:12,624 to faithfulness and to discipleship. 136 00:06:13,763 --> 00:06:15,664 We've come to celebrate these babies. 137 00:06:15,832 --> 00:06:17,130 Somebody needs a change. 138 00:06:17,267 --> 00:06:18,530 Right now? 139 00:06:18,602 --> 00:06:20,366 Well, she can't bring this up with her. 140 00:06:20,704 --> 00:06:22,036 Okay. 141 00:06:22,639 --> 00:06:26,804 All right, come on. Where are we going? Where are we going? 142 00:06:26,977 --> 00:06:28,775 We're gonna take a little field trip. 143 00:06:29,079 --> 00:06:31,275 Okay. Okay. 144 00:06:31,815 --> 00:06:33,807 There's my girl. All right. 145 00:06:34,651 --> 00:06:37,348 Hold on one second. There we go. 146 00:06:38,488 --> 00:06:40,184 What's that face for? 147 00:06:40,290 --> 00:06:42,122 Oh, my... Oh, my God. 148 00:06:42,192 --> 00:06:44,718 Cece, no. No, no, no. Not on the dress. 149 00:06:44,794 --> 00:06:45,818 Cece, stop. 150 00:06:58,275 --> 00:06:59,265 What? What? 151 00:06:59,976 --> 00:07:01,877 Honey, no. Yes. 152 00:07:01,945 --> 00:07:03,106 No, no. 153 00:07:03,179 --> 00:07:04,306 This is happening. 154 00:07:05,015 --> 00:07:06,745 We have an extra outfit in the bag. 155 00:07:06,883 --> 00:07:08,476 No. There's no extra outfit in the bag. 156 00:07:08,618 --> 00:07:09,916 You said you checked it. I did 157 00:07:10,787 --> 00:07:11,777 say that. 158 00:07:11,855 --> 00:07:14,484 At this time, will the families please come join me? 159 00:07:15,926 --> 00:07:17,895 Jim and Pam and Cece really seem to be clicking. 160 00:07:17,961 --> 00:07:19,361 They are totally gelling. 161 00:07:19,429 --> 00:07:22,126 It's as if they leave my office and they go to another office 162 00:07:22,232 --> 00:07:24,030 that sells happiness. 163 00:07:24,100 --> 00:07:25,124 And good for them. 164 00:07:25,702 --> 00:07:28,604 That's great, because, you know, 165 00:07:28,705 --> 00:07:31,641 the paper industry's not gonna last forever. 166 00:07:34,577 --> 00:07:36,705 Before we go, I'd like to remind everyone 167 00:07:36,780 --> 00:07:39,648 that the Halberts have been kind enough to host a reception next door 168 00:07:39,716 --> 00:07:41,207 immediately following the service. 169 00:07:41,318 --> 00:07:42,946 Mmm. Mmm. 170 00:07:43,019 --> 00:07:44,715 No. Wrong on both counts. 171 00:07:44,888 --> 00:07:48,017 Okay, A, "Halbert"? 172 00:07:48,725 --> 00:07:51,752 And, B, I think a more appropriate statement would be, 173 00:07:51,828 --> 00:07:54,855 "The 'Halberts' are hosting an intimate reception 174 00:07:54,931 --> 00:07:56,422 "for their invited guests." 175 00:07:57,801 --> 00:07:59,736 For all their generosity of spirit, 176 00:07:59,803 --> 00:08:01,931 they password-protect their wireless? 177 00:08:02,005 --> 00:08:03,064 Try "Jesus." 178 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:04,601 Opus Dei. 179 00:08:04,674 --> 00:08:06,609 Hi. Good morning. 180 00:08:06,910 --> 00:08:08,640 Good morning. 181 00:08:08,712 --> 00:08:10,578 Good morning. Good morning. 182 00:08:10,647 --> 00:08:12,047 Hello. 183 00:08:16,119 --> 00:08:18,213 How are you? Good morning. 184 00:08:18,355 --> 00:08:19,687 Good morning. Good morning. 185 00:08:19,789 --> 00:08:21,052 I am feeling this. 186 00:08:21,191 --> 00:08:23,626 Call it the Holy Spirit or the Passion of the Christ, 187 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:25,752 I am loving these people. 188 00:08:28,365 --> 00:08:30,163 Hi. Thanks for having us. 189 00:08:30,233 --> 00:08:31,667 I'm Doug McPherson, Davey's uncle. 190 00:08:31,935 --> 00:08:34,234 Oh, well, Dave is an adorable baby. 191 00:08:34,371 --> 00:08:35,464 Davey. 192 00:08:35,605 --> 00:08:36,834 Yeah. 193 00:08:39,409 --> 00:08:41,173 Well, this is intimate. 194 00:08:41,244 --> 00:08:42,837 We just had to add a few more tables. 195 00:08:42,912 --> 00:08:44,312 We weren't expecting this many people. 196 00:08:44,547 --> 00:08:45,845 You don't know them all? 197 00:08:45,915 --> 00:08:47,383 Nope. And we're gonna need 198 00:08:47,450 --> 00:08:50,113 a loaves and fishes kind of miracle to feed them all. 199 00:08:50,453 --> 00:08:52,513 Jesus is not your caterer. 200 00:08:53,723 --> 00:08:56,090 But he should be your caterer, 'cause you're a little angel. 201 00:08:56,259 --> 00:08:58,524 Why didn't your parents get you a caterer? 202 00:08:59,262 --> 00:09:00,355 'Cause they don't think. 203 00:09:00,897 --> 00:09:02,957 Mmm! Don't listen to her. 204 00:09:03,033 --> 00:09:04,763 She's just jealous 'cause she doesn't get to come home 205 00:09:04,834 --> 00:09:06,826 to someone as cute as you. 206 00:09:07,003 --> 00:09:08,494 You think she is jealous about having a baby? 207 00:09:08,605 --> 00:09:10,073 I don't know. I'm just hungry. 208 00:09:10,140 --> 00:09:11,733 Okay, well, you know what, everybody's hungry. 209 00:09:13,910 --> 00:09:15,936 Sorry. I think I'm just hungry. 210 00:09:17,047 --> 00:09:18,982 Oh, after you. Oh, no, after you. 211 00:09:19,049 --> 00:09:20,950 No, I insist. After me. 212 00:09:21,017 --> 00:09:22,610 I'm gonna use that one. 213 00:09:22,752 --> 00:09:24,653 Have a good lunch. Thank you. You, too. 214 00:09:24,721 --> 00:09:27,088 This is not the meal I was promised. 215 00:09:27,157 --> 00:09:29,888 I'm going to have no energy for the rest of the day. 216 00:09:29,993 --> 00:09:34,021 I canceled my plans to come to this thing and they repay me with this? 217 00:09:34,264 --> 00:09:36,324 You know what, guys? Let's just enjoy lunch. 218 00:09:36,399 --> 00:09:38,334 With what? How? 219 00:09:39,035 --> 00:09:40,628 Sometimes, Michael. 220 00:09:41,337 --> 00:09:42,703 Sometimes. 221 00:09:42,806 --> 00:09:45,275 Excuse me, everyone, on behalf of the Youth Ministry 222 00:09:45,341 --> 00:09:46,832 that's leaving for Mexico, 223 00:09:46,910 --> 00:09:48,708 I just wanted to thank our hosts 224 00:09:48,978 --> 00:09:52,210 and tell you about those good-looking guys and gals over there. 225 00:09:54,884 --> 00:09:57,115 Teach For America girls are way hotter, 226 00:09:57,420 --> 00:09:58,581 but they're nuts. 227 00:09:58,788 --> 00:10:01,280 This is Jessica Ortega. 228 00:10:01,357 --> 00:10:03,917 I met her when she and I were both seven years old, 229 00:10:03,993 --> 00:10:07,293 when my parents took me to Quimixto on a service trip. 230 00:10:07,597 --> 00:10:09,498 Who takes a kid to Mexico? 231 00:10:09,566 --> 00:10:11,592 I would run to Mexico if that's where the sandwiches are. 232 00:10:11,668 --> 00:10:12,658 Shh! 233 00:10:12,735 --> 00:10:16,297 Right now, Jessica's children have to walk 12 miles 234 00:10:16,372 --> 00:10:17,704 to a school with dirt floors. 235 00:10:17,774 --> 00:10:18,969 No. 236 00:10:19,342 --> 00:10:20,970 It's gonna be three months of hard work, 237 00:10:21,044 --> 00:10:24,879 and when we're done, we'll practically be Quimixtanos. 238 00:10:25,148 --> 00:10:27,276 Greg, hello, it's Dwight from the vestibule. 239 00:10:27,717 --> 00:10:29,379 You want to know my 11th commandment? 240 00:10:29,686 --> 00:10:31,484 I will not be undersold. 241 00:10:31,621 --> 00:10:32,611 Dwight. Dwight, hey. 242 00:10:32,722 --> 00:10:35,385 I am ready to love thy neighbor with these kind of discounts. 243 00:10:35,492 --> 00:10:36,687 Are you kidding me? Stop it. 244 00:10:36,759 --> 00:10:38,250 I'll call you back. 245 00:10:38,328 --> 00:10:40,490 My parents explained it to me this way. 246 00:10:40,563 --> 00:10:43,761 You wouldn't hesitate to save a family member from a burning building, 247 00:10:43,833 --> 00:10:46,234 but what if the earth was your building 248 00:10:46,302 --> 00:10:48,931 and all the people on it were your family? 249 00:10:49,005 --> 00:10:52,237 What if the moon was your car and Jupiter was your hair brush? 250 00:10:52,308 --> 00:10:54,038 Shh! Thank you. 251 00:10:54,110 --> 00:10:56,079 Or should I say, gracias. 252 00:11:05,388 --> 00:11:07,220 Cece went down. 253 00:11:08,525 --> 00:11:10,221 What was this? You're out of it. 254 00:11:10,293 --> 00:11:12,125 Scones. I didn't get one. 255 00:11:12,195 --> 00:11:14,255 Well, if it makes you feel better, I didn't get one either. 256 00:11:15,098 --> 00:11:17,192 Is it just the one jug of apple cider? 257 00:11:21,171 --> 00:11:22,195 Who the heck was that? 258 00:11:22,472 --> 00:11:23,997 I think that was Sconesy Cider, 259 00:11:24,073 --> 00:11:26,133 noted baptism reception critic. 260 00:11:27,677 --> 00:11:29,077 We need more food. 261 00:11:29,179 --> 00:11:30,613 I'll go get some subs and sodas. 262 00:11:30,680 --> 00:11:32,046 All right. 263 00:11:32,215 --> 00:11:33,274 And cider. 264 00:11:35,952 --> 00:11:38,478 Look at that. Look at that. That's fun. 265 00:11:38,588 --> 00:11:41,649 We need to do stuff together outside of work. 266 00:11:42,125 --> 00:11:46,221 Let's go help Africa. Let's go build an airport. 267 00:11:46,362 --> 00:11:48,524 We'll start small. We'll have a carwash. 268 00:11:48,598 --> 00:11:50,726 We'll send some cheerleaders to regionals. 269 00:11:50,833 --> 00:11:52,995 You could feed the hungry. Us. 270 00:11:53,069 --> 00:11:54,662 Why do we have to do something together? 271 00:11:54,737 --> 00:11:56,467 I volunteer at a clinic on my own time. 272 00:11:56,573 --> 00:11:58,166 Yeah, well, that's just a pick-up scene. 273 00:11:58,241 --> 00:11:59,834 Okay, we don't have to volunteer. 274 00:11:59,943 --> 00:12:01,377 But I think we should hang out more together. 275 00:12:01,477 --> 00:12:04,208 We are hanging out. Right now. 276 00:12:04,714 --> 00:12:05,773 You want some more of this? 277 00:12:05,882 --> 00:12:08,511 Look at these people. These are church-going people. 278 00:12:08,785 --> 00:12:11,380 And they know how to party. 279 00:12:11,454 --> 00:12:12,854 Church isn't a party, Michael. 280 00:12:12,922 --> 00:12:14,550 Well, it's... It's... Welcome to the party. 281 00:12:14,624 --> 00:12:16,855 Everybody have their Kool-Aid? No. 282 00:12:16,926 --> 00:12:18,519 Okay, you know what? That's inappropriate. 283 00:12:18,595 --> 00:12:19,585 What is wrong with you guys? 284 00:12:19,662 --> 00:12:20,721 What is wrong with you? 285 00:12:20,830 --> 00:12:22,731 What is so horrible about wanting to 286 00:12:22,799 --> 00:12:24,199 get together and do something nice? 287 00:12:24,334 --> 00:12:26,064 Why did you guys even come today? 288 00:12:26,202 --> 00:12:27,329 What's so great about your lives 289 00:12:27,437 --> 00:12:29,099 that you think you're better than everybody else? 290 00:12:29,172 --> 00:12:30,800 That you can make fun of everybody else? 291 00:12:31,074 --> 00:12:32,940 You're mean. You're mean girls, 292 00:12:33,276 --> 00:12:35,541 like the movie Mean Girls. 293 00:12:36,079 --> 00:12:38,071 And Kevin and Stanley, 294 00:12:38,147 --> 00:12:40,673 if you don't stop worrying so much 295 00:12:40,750 --> 00:12:42,719 about what you're gonna put in your gullet, 296 00:12:42,785 --> 00:12:45,254 you're gonna die in about a month. 297 00:12:48,891 --> 00:12:52,020 Oh, hey, Meemaw, would you watch Cece for a second? 298 00:12:52,128 --> 00:12:55,155 Don't worry. She's asleep. I'm just gonna track down some more chairs. 299 00:12:55,231 --> 00:12:56,529 Fine. 300 00:12:56,633 --> 00:13:00,035 Fine, I guess I'll watch Suzanne's purse and your baby. 301 00:13:15,852 --> 00:13:17,616 Bye. Good luck. 302 00:13:17,787 --> 00:13:20,655 Good luck to you. Bye. 303 00:13:20,790 --> 00:13:22,588 Do good. Do good. 304 00:13:22,692 --> 00:13:23,990 Bye. Have fun. 305 00:13:24,227 --> 00:13:26,423 We're proud of you. 306 00:13:35,471 --> 00:13:37,906 Bye. Okay. 307 00:13:39,575 --> 00:13:42,238 Hey. Hey. Is this the bus to Mexico? 308 00:13:42,412 --> 00:13:43,778 Yeah! 309 00:13:43,846 --> 00:13:44,939 I'll take a shirt. 310 00:13:45,014 --> 00:13:46,073 Are you coming? 311 00:13:46,282 --> 00:13:48,308 If you'll have me, yes. Heck, yes. 312 00:13:48,384 --> 00:13:51,047 Really? 313 00:13:51,421 --> 00:13:53,356 Thank you. All right. 314 00:13:54,691 --> 00:13:57,092 Michael? Get off the bus. 315 00:13:57,193 --> 00:13:58,684 No, I'm not. I'm staying on the bus. 316 00:13:58,761 --> 00:14:00,354 I'm already on the bus. I'm going. 317 00:14:00,496 --> 00:14:02,089 Michael, this is irresponsible. 318 00:14:02,165 --> 00:14:03,599 It is not irresponsible! 319 00:14:03,666 --> 00:14:07,159 I have never been more confident about a decision in my life. 320 00:14:07,270 --> 00:14:09,000 I agree. I think it's superb. 321 00:14:09,072 --> 00:14:10,404 Well, you have a job to do. Okay? 322 00:14:10,506 --> 00:14:12,668 There is no off-season when it comes to printer sales. 323 00:14:12,742 --> 00:14:14,734 You know what? My job will be here when I get back. 324 00:14:14,811 --> 00:14:16,780 Michael, you can't go to Mexico. 325 00:14:16,846 --> 00:14:17,939 You don't have your passport. 326 00:14:18,147 --> 00:14:19,706 You don't need one to get in. 327 00:14:19,782 --> 00:14:22,115 Plus, we can just have it sent to him down in Mexico. 328 00:14:22,218 --> 00:14:23,242 Hey, right? 329 00:14:23,319 --> 00:14:26,050 Michael, what am I supposed to tell my clients if they ask about you? 330 00:14:26,122 --> 00:14:29,422 Tell them that I died and I turned into an angel, 331 00:14:29,559 --> 00:14:32,028 and when they feel a breeze 332 00:14:32,095 --> 00:14:34,655 in a room with all the windows closed 333 00:14:34,731 --> 00:14:37,462 or that chill on the back of their neck, 334 00:14:37,533 --> 00:14:39,900 that is just me watching over them. 335 00:14:40,002 --> 00:14:42,301 Okay, but what about the bigger corporate accounts? 336 00:14:42,405 --> 00:14:43,429 Tell them that I'm in a meeting. 337 00:14:43,539 --> 00:14:45,201 Michael, I am just about to close a sale. 338 00:14:45,308 --> 00:14:46,606 Can I authorize a 15% discount? 339 00:14:46,676 --> 00:14:47,666 No, you may not. 340 00:14:48,277 --> 00:14:49,745 I think it's really cool, Michael. 341 00:14:50,012 --> 00:14:51,878 I wish I had a job that I could just leave. 342 00:14:52,148 --> 00:14:53,241 Thank you. 343 00:14:57,053 --> 00:14:59,147 Save me an aisle seat, Michael! I'm coming! 344 00:14:59,288 --> 00:15:03,089 I will not stand idly by while these Mexican villagers are sick. 345 00:15:03,192 --> 00:15:04,854 We're actually building them a school. 346 00:15:04,927 --> 00:15:05,917 Whatever. 347 00:15:05,995 --> 00:15:06,985 They need to learn. 348 00:15:07,063 --> 00:15:08,588 I won't... I won't stand for it. 349 00:15:11,901 --> 00:15:14,302 See you in a few months. 350 00:15:16,072 --> 00:15:18,234 If the whole world were like you guys, 351 00:15:18,307 --> 00:15:20,071 we wouldn't have so many problems. 352 00:15:20,176 --> 00:15:22,008 Hmm, that's not gonna happen. 353 00:15:22,078 --> 00:15:23,512 We're one in a million. 354 00:15:23,579 --> 00:15:24,672 I know. 355 00:15:24,747 --> 00:15:27,581 Nobody I know would leave their jobs and friends and families 356 00:15:27,650 --> 00:15:29,516 to do manual labor for three months. 357 00:15:29,752 --> 00:15:33,314 Well, you know what? Everybody thinks that I am crazy, 358 00:15:33,389 --> 00:15:37,622 and that tells me that I am the sanest person I know. So... 359 00:15:39,162 --> 00:15:42,155 Just a heads up. Probably gonna be borrowing a few things. 360 00:15:42,298 --> 00:15:44,631 Gonna need a contact lens case, 361 00:15:44,700 --> 00:15:47,192 some sunscreen, some sandals... 362 00:15:53,910 --> 00:15:56,402 Why you always got to be so mean to me? 363 00:16:01,617 --> 00:16:03,916 Uh, Meemaw, where's Cece? 364 00:16:03,986 --> 00:16:06,546 I don't know. I lost the purse, too. 365 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:12,929 Goodbye, Lackawanna county. 366 00:16:14,063 --> 00:16:15,326 How long till we get to Mexico? 367 00:16:15,765 --> 00:16:17,256 Well, two days minus... 368 00:16:17,333 --> 00:16:19,359 How long we've been on the road, 45 minutes? 369 00:16:19,469 --> 00:16:23,236 So, like, two days basically. Maybe more. 370 00:16:23,306 --> 00:16:24,399 What are we building down there again? 371 00:16:24,540 --> 00:16:27,601 Like, a hospital? A school for Mexicans? What? 372 00:16:27,877 --> 00:16:30,108 I don't know, I thought it was like a gymnasium or... 373 00:16:30,179 --> 00:16:32,171 Why aren't they building it themselves? 374 00:16:32,248 --> 00:16:33,375 They don't know how. 375 00:16:33,449 --> 00:16:34,917 Do we know how? I don't know how. 376 00:16:35,017 --> 00:16:37,282 You know how? Well, Carla knows. 377 00:16:37,386 --> 00:16:39,082 Carla knows. 378 00:16:40,323 --> 00:16:41,484 Oh. 379 00:16:41,557 --> 00:16:43,219 I feel like there were so many more people on this bus. 380 00:16:43,292 --> 00:16:46,023 There were, like, 200, 300 people before. 381 00:16:47,263 --> 00:16:48,925 Hey, Carla? 382 00:16:50,366 --> 00:16:51,561 Carla? 383 00:16:52,268 --> 00:16:54,100 Hi. What are you doing? 384 00:16:54,170 --> 00:16:55,763 Mmm, trying to sleep. 385 00:17:01,444 --> 00:17:02,707 What is happening? 386 00:17:02,778 --> 00:17:05,612 Oh, God, what is happening? 387 00:17:07,450 --> 00:17:10,181 Do you smell like a weird, warm cheese? 388 00:17:12,421 --> 00:17:14,515 Oh, God, you know what? 389 00:17:14,657 --> 00:17:16,853 I am gonna be in Mexico for my half-birthday. 390 00:17:16,926 --> 00:17:18,827 And the Christmas party. And Cinco De Mayo. 391 00:17:18,895 --> 00:17:20,796 Nah. No, we'll be back before that. 392 00:17:20,897 --> 00:17:23,867 No, we... You know how these things go. 393 00:17:23,933 --> 00:17:26,528 Construction projects, they say three months, 394 00:17:26,602 --> 00:17:30,095 and then, after two years, the lazy bums haven't even started. 395 00:17:30,172 --> 00:17:32,300 Now we're those lazy bums. 396 00:17:34,410 --> 00:17:36,641 I gotta get off this bus. 397 00:17:38,848 --> 00:17:40,680 Hey, guys, has anybody seen the baby? 398 00:17:40,750 --> 00:17:42,776 Here's her carrier, but no Cece. 399 00:17:42,852 --> 00:17:45,344 Jim, Jim, I want to give a toast. 400 00:17:45,421 --> 00:17:46,582 Where's the little girl of honor? 401 00:17:46,656 --> 00:17:47,646 I don't know, Dad. I don't know. 402 00:17:47,723 --> 00:17:48,884 I don't mean to bug, 403 00:17:48,958 --> 00:17:50,221 but do you know when those subs are due into port? 404 00:17:50,293 --> 00:17:51,386 I got a hungry bunch of McPhersons over there. 405 00:17:51,460 --> 00:17:53,986 I don't know. Hey, have you seen my baby? 406 00:17:54,063 --> 00:17:55,554 I think maybe some blonde lady had her. 407 00:17:55,631 --> 00:17:57,463 A small blonde woman? Smaller than me. 408 00:17:57,533 --> 00:17:59,661 Everyone. Everyone, can I just have your attention? 409 00:17:59,769 --> 00:18:01,431 Has anyone seen a small... 410 00:18:01,504 --> 00:18:03,370 Stop that tiny, blonde woman! She stole my baby! 411 00:18:04,941 --> 00:18:06,239 What are you doing? 412 00:18:06,309 --> 00:18:07,333 Give me the baby. 413 00:18:07,410 --> 00:18:09,208 What? Kevin! 414 00:18:09,278 --> 00:18:12,976 Hi, honey. I was just changing the baby. 415 00:18:13,049 --> 00:18:15,951 Hi. Hi. All right. 416 00:18:16,652 --> 00:18:17,915 Travel safe, Angela. 417 00:18:17,987 --> 00:18:19,853 Did you think I stole your baby? 418 00:18:19,922 --> 00:18:21,015 What's that? 419 00:18:21,857 --> 00:18:24,190 Oh, yeah, back then I did. Just now. 420 00:18:24,293 --> 00:18:27,058 So don't, because I've got my eye on you. 421 00:18:27,296 --> 00:18:29,891 Look at these scones, Jim. 422 00:18:29,966 --> 00:18:31,229 Give me that! 423 00:18:31,300 --> 00:18:32,825 Thousands of them. 424 00:18:32,935 --> 00:18:36,463 What kind of a person steals scones from a baby? 425 00:18:37,073 --> 00:18:39,167 Someone put them in my bag. 426 00:18:39,442 --> 00:18:41,172 So that was lunch, eh? 427 00:18:42,311 --> 00:18:45,110 McPherson troop, let's haul out. Rendezvous at Friendly's. 428 00:18:46,782 --> 00:18:48,114 Did you lose Cece? 429 00:18:48,184 --> 00:18:49,174 Yeah. 430 00:18:49,852 --> 00:18:52,481 Yeah, a little bit. I did. 431 00:18:52,722 --> 00:18:55,214 Can you fake a seizure or a heart attack or something? 432 00:18:55,291 --> 00:18:56,657 I can make myself cry. 433 00:18:56,726 --> 00:18:58,024 Do that. Do it. 434 00:18:58,094 --> 00:19:00,893 Should I... I got it. I got it. 435 00:19:00,963 --> 00:19:05,025 Hey, I saw a sign for a scenic overlook coming up. 436 00:19:05,101 --> 00:19:06,535 Really love to check out the view. 437 00:19:06,602 --> 00:19:08,093 Can't stop. We're on a schedule. 438 00:19:08,504 --> 00:19:10,996 Well, there's a nice bistro coming up. 439 00:19:11,073 --> 00:19:13,042 We could pick up some paninis for the road. 440 00:19:13,109 --> 00:19:14,771 Maybe we'll stop in Tennessee. 441 00:19:14,844 --> 00:19:16,176 It's unsafe to talk to a driver. 442 00:19:16,245 --> 00:19:19,773 Okay, driver, driver, if you're not gonna stop this bus, 443 00:19:19,849 --> 00:19:21,875 then I'm going to stop it for you. 444 00:19:21,951 --> 00:19:24,819 Okay? Hang on. 445 00:19:26,922 --> 00:19:28,390 Stopping in Tennessee. 446 00:19:28,691 --> 00:19:30,751 Hey, is there a problem, you guys? 447 00:19:30,893 --> 00:19:32,953 Yeah, just get him to stop the bus, please. 448 00:19:33,129 --> 00:19:34,119 Why? 449 00:19:34,196 --> 00:19:35,892 Just make him stop the freaking bus! 450 00:19:35,965 --> 00:19:37,058 Stop the bus, okay? 451 00:19:37,133 --> 00:19:38,192 Are you okay, sir? 452 00:19:38,267 --> 00:19:39,428 I didn't sign up for this. 453 00:19:39,502 --> 00:19:42,199 You guys are young, that's great. 454 00:19:42,271 --> 00:19:44,103 You want to give back to society. 455 00:19:44,173 --> 00:19:45,539 I've done that. 456 00:19:45,608 --> 00:19:46,735 I need to take. 457 00:19:46,809 --> 00:19:48,801 You have plenty left to give. You're doing... 458 00:19:48,878 --> 00:19:49,868 Blah-di-blah! 459 00:19:49,945 --> 00:19:51,914 It doesn't matter. We could go back and forth all day. 460 00:19:51,981 --> 00:19:53,711 It's not gonna solve anything. 461 00:19:53,783 --> 00:19:55,979 If we went to Mexico, we'd probably screw everything up anyway. 462 00:19:56,085 --> 00:19:58,953 Do you want that for little Jessica? No, you don't. 463 00:19:59,021 --> 00:20:00,045 And the answer is clear. 464 00:20:00,356 --> 00:20:02,154 Stop the bus. Okay? Stop the bus! 465 00:20:02,258 --> 00:20:03,988 Stop the bus! Stop the bus! 466 00:20:04,093 --> 00:20:05,823 Stop the bus! Stop the bus! 467 00:20:05,895 --> 00:20:07,124 Stop the bus! Stop the bus! 468 00:20:07,430 --> 00:20:09,331 Okay, stop the dang bus. 469 00:20:09,598 --> 00:20:12,898 Okay, well, a pleasure. 470 00:20:13,736 --> 00:20:15,227 Go save the world. 471 00:20:15,304 --> 00:20:17,398 We'll keep an eye on America for you. 472 00:20:23,179 --> 00:20:24,477 Wait for me! 473 00:20:30,186 --> 00:20:32,587 Don't say anything to my parents. 474 00:20:45,634 --> 00:20:46,658 Get in quick. 475 00:20:47,069 --> 00:20:48,435 Why quick? So it's faster. 476 00:20:50,639 --> 00:20:53,268 Do you guys want me to take you home or go back to the church? 477 00:20:53,342 --> 00:20:54,469 Is anyone still at the church? 478 00:20:54,543 --> 00:20:57,035 No. Actually, most of them went to go see a movie. 479 00:20:57,213 --> 00:20:58,374 What? Shut up. 480 00:20:58,447 --> 00:20:59,437 Yeah. 481 00:20:59,548 --> 00:21:02,245 Kevin suggested it, and then they all went in Meredith's minivan. 482 00:21:02,318 --> 00:21:05,516 It is so nice to be back in a country that has movies. 483 00:21:06,021 --> 00:21:07,319 I bet, you guys... 484 00:21:07,389 --> 00:21:08,721 Can I come? 485 00:21:11,360 --> 00:21:13,420 Oh! Lake Wobegon is on. 486 00:21:13,529 --> 00:21:14,895 Do you guys... Are you cool with that? 487 00:21:14,964 --> 00:21:16,364 banana bread, but, 488 00:21:16,465 --> 00:21:18,661 Fred Northquest had no appetite. 489 00:21:18,734 --> 00:21:20,828 He was thinking about his pair of new boots. 490 00:21:20,903 --> 00:21:24,840 It'd been 10 years after all, and, as he told Mrs. Northquest, 491 00:21:24,907 --> 00:21:28,674 it would take two years to get comfortable with the new boots. 492 00:21:29,295 --> 00:21:39,295 Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.