1 00:00:05,462 --> 00:00:10,491 Uh-oh. Okay, okay, nobody panic. Listen up, listen up. 2 00:00:10,601 --> 00:00:12,229 Everyone, follow me to the shelter. 3 00:00:12,302 --> 00:00:14,669 We've got enough food for 14 days. 4 00:00:14,738 --> 00:00:17,230 After that, we have a difficult conversation. 5 00:00:17,307 --> 00:00:18,331 My bad. 6 00:00:18,408 --> 00:00:20,377 Space heater and fan were both on high, 7 00:00:20,444 --> 00:00:22,845 plugged into the same outlet, so... 8 00:00:23,347 --> 00:00:25,077 It's saying the server went down? 9 00:00:25,716 --> 00:00:27,275 Does anybody know that password? 10 00:00:27,351 --> 00:00:28,478 'Cause otherwise, we can't do any work. 11 00:00:28,552 --> 00:00:31,044 Uh, try "password." 12 00:00:31,154 --> 00:00:32,178 Nope. 13 00:00:32,256 --> 00:00:35,556 Try zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero. 14 00:00:35,959 --> 00:00:36,949 No. 15 00:00:37,027 --> 00:00:40,930 Okay, now try zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, one. 16 00:00:41,398 --> 00:00:42,798 Okay, I'm not doing every number. 17 00:00:42,866 --> 00:00:45,358 Wait, does anyone remember when it was set up? 18 00:00:45,502 --> 00:00:47,596 Uh, it was, like, eight years ago? 19 00:00:47,871 --> 00:00:49,362 Lord of the Rings stuff? 20 00:00:49,873 --> 00:00:51,034 I don't know, I'm just trying to think of things 21 00:00:51,108 --> 00:00:52,872 that were happening at the time. 22 00:00:52,943 --> 00:00:54,536 Everyone was getting their driver's license. 23 00:00:55,479 --> 00:00:57,641 Why don't we just call the I.T. guy who set it up? 24 00:00:57,714 --> 00:00:59,080 What's the name of the guy in the glasses, again? 25 00:00:59,149 --> 00:01:01,983 Okay, moving backwards, our I.T. guys have been 26 00:01:02,319 --> 00:01:05,050 "Glasses,"Turban," "Ear Hair,"Fatty 3," 27 00:01:05,122 --> 00:01:08,115 "Shorts,"Fatty 2," "Lozenge" and "Fatso." 28 00:01:08,592 --> 00:01:11,061 I think "Lozenge" is the one who installed it. 29 00:01:11,128 --> 00:01:12,118 I got it. 30 00:01:12,262 --> 00:01:13,252 Try... 31 00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:18,335 You know what, it made me laugh when I heard it, 32 00:01:18,402 --> 00:01:20,394 but Pam got really offended. 33 00:01:20,504 --> 00:01:22,234 "Big boobs." 34 00:01:22,739 --> 00:01:24,571 "Drama queen"? "Nosy"? 35 00:01:25,776 --> 00:01:26,971 You're typing "big boobs"? 36 00:01:27,110 --> 00:01:28,100 I'm trying everything. 37 00:01:28,178 --> 00:01:29,305 Try "big boobs" with a "z." 38 00:01:29,546 --> 00:01:32,380 That's the password. We're in. 39 00:01:32,449 --> 00:01:33,576 All right. Wow. 40 00:01:33,650 --> 00:01:35,380 Yes. The important thing is 41 00:01:35,452 --> 00:01:37,512 this kept us secure, people. 42 00:02:06,750 --> 00:02:08,514 - Morning. - How's it going? 43 00:02:10,387 --> 00:02:11,878 Hey, I'm Wuphf. I'm Facebook. 44 00:02:11,955 --> 00:02:12,945 What's up, Facebook? 45 00:02:13,023 --> 00:02:14,389 I sent you a Facebook message yesterday, 46 00:02:14,458 --> 00:02:15,949 I still haven't heard anything back. 47 00:02:16,026 --> 00:02:17,756 You should've sent me a wuphf. A what? 48 00:02:17,828 --> 00:02:20,059 When you send a wuphf, it goes to your home phone, cell phone, 49 00:02:20,130 --> 00:02:22,224 email, Facebook, Twitter, and homescreen. 50 00:02:22,299 --> 00:02:23,289 All at the same time. 51 00:02:26,069 --> 00:02:27,162 Wuphf. 52 00:02:27,237 --> 00:02:29,172 Wuphf! Wuphf.com! 53 00:02:36,013 --> 00:02:37,481 Thanks, Erin. Sure. 54 00:02:39,983 --> 00:02:42,714 Hey, Pam. I don't wanna be a lousy snitch. 55 00:02:43,453 --> 00:02:44,443 Okay. 56 00:02:44,521 --> 00:02:46,922 Ryan has been using the color printer for his business a lot, 57 00:02:46,990 --> 00:02:47,980 and as office administrator... 58 00:02:48,058 --> 00:02:49,048 Oh, it's okay. 59 00:02:49,559 --> 00:02:50,822 But it's not for... 60 00:02:50,894 --> 00:02:52,089 Let it go. 61 00:02:52,162 --> 00:02:53,960 Yes, I invested in Wuphf. 62 00:02:54,097 --> 00:02:55,463 It's actually a really great idea, 63 00:02:55,532 --> 00:02:57,592 and I can't believe it didn't exist before. 64 00:02:57,668 --> 00:03:01,332 And I know Ryan's kind of a sketchy guy, but hey, I married Jim. 65 00:03:01,405 --> 00:03:04,466 I've done my part for the nice guy. Now I want a bedroom set. 66 00:03:04,741 --> 00:03:09,145 I think an investors' ski trip, frankly, is the best idea. 67 00:03:09,212 --> 00:03:11,044 It will be a bonding experience. 68 00:03:11,114 --> 00:03:12,104 I love it. 69 00:03:12,182 --> 00:03:13,445 I was looking at a trail map, 70 00:03:13,517 --> 00:03:15,418 and I was thinking that we should start on a bunny hill, 71 00:03:15,485 --> 00:03:17,147 because I've never actually been skiing. 72 00:03:17,621 --> 00:03:20,955 And then work our way up to "Death Drop." 73 00:03:21,158 --> 00:03:24,026 Great, so we got our first offer to buy the company. 74 00:03:24,161 --> 00:03:25,151 You're kidding. 75 00:03:25,262 --> 00:03:27,663 We could sell, but why think so small? 76 00:03:28,065 --> 00:03:29,863 We can just get a couple more people involved, 77 00:03:29,933 --> 00:03:31,196 really do this thing our way. 78 00:03:31,368 --> 00:03:32,427 You and me, baby. 79 00:03:32,502 --> 00:03:34,801 New investors are key, though. That's actually why I came in today. 80 00:03:35,806 --> 00:03:36,899 Don't you work here full-time? 81 00:03:37,374 --> 00:03:40,003 Today, I was thinking I would sit down with a few of the people 82 00:03:40,077 --> 00:03:41,545 who haven't invested yet. 83 00:03:41,611 --> 00:03:44,445 Or we could do that together, if that sounds fun to you. 84 00:03:44,881 --> 00:03:46,873 That does sound fun to me. 85 00:03:46,950 --> 00:03:47,974 Awesome. 86 00:03:50,220 --> 00:03:55,750 Oh, this is good hay. Yeah. This is the good stuff. Mattress quality. 87 00:03:55,826 --> 00:03:57,260 Every fall, growing up, 88 00:03:57,327 --> 00:03:59,819 my Uncle Eldred used to build us a maze out of hay bales 89 00:03:59,896 --> 00:04:03,264 for us kids to play in. We called it "Hay Place." 90 00:04:03,767 --> 00:04:05,531 Eldred called it "Hay World." 91 00:04:05,602 --> 00:04:07,468 Eventually, lawyers were brought in. But... 92 00:04:08,038 --> 00:04:12,100 That's all behind us. Hay Place lives on. 93 00:04:12,175 --> 00:04:13,165 Watch it, watch it. 94 00:04:14,344 --> 00:04:17,644 Hello! Welcome to Hay Place. A place for hay. 95 00:04:17,714 --> 00:04:19,046 Don't forget to make a broom. 96 00:04:19,116 --> 00:04:20,846 Oh, the petting zoo closes at 2:00, 97 00:04:20,917 --> 00:04:23,113 and the goat roast is at 3:00. 98 00:04:23,186 --> 00:04:24,518 Come on in, enjoy! 99 00:04:24,788 --> 00:04:25,778 Hey. 100 00:04:26,523 --> 00:04:29,220 I'm kind of in the mood for a roll in the hay. 101 00:04:29,292 --> 00:04:30,851 Roll in the hay, $5. 102 00:04:30,994 --> 00:04:32,724 No, I meant... 103 00:04:34,564 --> 00:04:36,055 Oh, our contract. 104 00:04:36,199 --> 00:04:37,189 Mmm-hmm. 105 00:04:37,634 --> 00:04:40,536 Yes, why don't we meet at the usual spot. 106 00:04:41,638 --> 00:04:43,834 Uh, I've got a half an hour during lunch 107 00:04:43,907 --> 00:04:46,604 in between the historical reenactment of the Dunmore farm slaughters 108 00:04:46,676 --> 00:04:47,803 and the onion boil. 109 00:04:48,111 --> 00:04:49,943 Perfect. So... Excuse me, get off of there. 110 00:04:50,046 --> 00:04:52,379 Those are show bales, not play bales. 111 00:04:53,483 --> 00:04:56,783 All right, thank you. I will send the contracts over right away. 112 00:04:56,853 --> 00:04:58,219 All right. 113 00:05:03,426 --> 00:05:04,621 Whoo! 114 00:05:04,694 --> 00:05:06,856 I am on the first hot sales streak of my life. 115 00:05:06,997 --> 00:05:08,625 I think it all comes from feeding Cece, 116 00:05:08,698 --> 00:05:11,224 because no matter how much she resists, 117 00:05:11,301 --> 00:05:13,361 I sell her those carrots. 118 00:05:13,436 --> 00:05:14,426 And let's be honest, 119 00:05:14,504 --> 00:05:17,406 if I can make mushed carrots seem better than a boob, 120 00:05:17,674 --> 00:05:20,075 I can pretty much sell anything. 121 00:05:20,644 --> 00:05:22,272 Commission comes out to 122 00:05:24,614 --> 00:05:25,707 zero. 123 00:05:25,782 --> 00:05:27,683 Okay, well, it can't be zero, Kev. 124 00:05:27,751 --> 00:05:32,689 I entered the sale, and I hit enter and I said, "Dunh-duh-na-dah!" 125 00:05:33,423 --> 00:05:35,153 I'm pretty sure I timesed it right. 126 00:05:35,225 --> 00:05:36,989 You met your commission cap last week. 127 00:05:37,060 --> 00:05:39,996 So, from here until the end of the fiscal year, your commission will be zero. 128 00:05:40,297 --> 00:05:42,391 What are you talking about? We have a commission cap? 129 00:05:42,599 --> 00:05:43,828 It's a new corporate policy. 130 00:05:47,137 --> 00:05:49,766 Is this job really about the money for you, Jim? 131 00:05:50,106 --> 00:05:52,166 I mean, isn't this where you fell in love? 132 00:05:52,242 --> 00:05:54,734 A commission cap takes away my incentive to sell. 133 00:05:54,811 --> 00:05:57,076 So, you realize I now have no reason to work, right? 134 00:05:58,014 --> 00:05:59,812 When you're dealing with a large organization, 135 00:05:59,883 --> 00:06:03,217 sometimes you have to put up with policies you don't like. 136 00:06:03,286 --> 00:06:07,018 I wish my gym didn't allow full nudity in the locker room. 137 00:06:07,290 --> 00:06:09,418 Okay, some of these old guys walking around naked, 138 00:06:10,060 --> 00:06:11,551 feels almost passive-aggressive. 139 00:06:12,062 --> 00:06:14,554 But I deal with it 'cause it's policy. See what I mean? 140 00:06:14,798 --> 00:06:15,788 Nope. 141 00:06:15,866 --> 00:06:17,528 Nudity makes me uncomfortable. Okay. 142 00:06:17,601 --> 00:06:19,502 My gym allows it. 143 00:06:19,569 --> 00:06:23,472 I wish they didn't, but it's policy. So, I respect it, and I just 144 00:06:23,540 --> 00:06:25,031 keep a low... You know, I look away. 145 00:06:26,042 --> 00:06:28,375 Think about your commission cap 146 00:06:28,445 --> 00:06:30,107 as a naked old man in a gym locker room. 147 00:06:33,683 --> 00:06:35,743 Excuse me, everyone. Sex! 148 00:06:36,453 --> 00:06:37,853 Now that I have your attention... 149 00:06:37,954 --> 00:06:39,479 You don't have our attention. 150 00:06:39,589 --> 00:06:40,579 Money! 151 00:06:40,690 --> 00:06:41,680 I'm listening. 152 00:06:41,758 --> 00:06:42,953 You had me at "sex." 153 00:06:43,260 --> 00:06:44,785 Pervert. You have all of our attention 154 00:06:44,861 --> 00:06:46,227 just by screaming anything. 155 00:06:46,529 --> 00:06:47,519 That's good to know. 156 00:06:48,665 --> 00:06:49,963 What do you want to say, Michael? 157 00:06:50,066 --> 00:06:52,126 Wuphf! 158 00:06:52,202 --> 00:06:54,364 All right, I've warmed them up for you. You have the floor, Ryan. 159 00:06:54,738 --> 00:06:55,865 How's everybody doing? 160 00:06:57,540 --> 00:06:58,530 Good! 161 00:06:58,608 --> 00:07:00,236 Now, a lot of you have already staked out 162 00:07:00,310 --> 00:07:01,778 your corner of the Wuphf empire. 163 00:07:01,845 --> 00:07:04,212 Raise your hand if I'm describing you. 164 00:07:06,616 --> 00:07:07,640 Great. 165 00:07:07,817 --> 00:07:09,012 Yes, I have a dream. 166 00:07:09,185 --> 00:07:13,020 And it's not some M.L.K. dream for equality. 167 00:07:13,089 --> 00:07:17,185 I want to own a decommissioned lighthouse. 168 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:19,420 And I want to live at the top. 169 00:07:19,496 --> 00:07:22,022 And nobody knows I live there. 170 00:07:22,098 --> 00:07:25,762 And there's a button that I can press, 171 00:07:25,835 --> 00:07:29,203 and launch that lighthouse into space. 172 00:07:29,539 --> 00:07:31,770 For my current investors, things are going great. 173 00:07:31,841 --> 00:07:33,104 We already have a buyer. 174 00:07:33,176 --> 00:07:34,166 Really? Who? 175 00:07:34,244 --> 00:07:35,542 Washington University. 176 00:07:35,679 --> 00:07:37,272 I don't even want to think about selling 177 00:07:37,347 --> 00:07:38,872 until our numbers get into the billions. 178 00:07:38,949 --> 00:07:39,939 At least. 179 00:07:40,016 --> 00:07:42,986 So, I've decided to open up a second round of investment 180 00:07:43,053 --> 00:07:44,817 to friends and family. 181 00:07:44,955 --> 00:07:47,015 Oh, God. Hold on to your wallets, ladies. 182 00:07:47,624 --> 00:07:50,617 Did you ever think of Wuphf as an emergency notification system, 183 00:07:50,694 --> 00:07:52,856 like, for college campuses with shooters or gas leaks? 184 00:07:53,029 --> 00:07:56,363 No, no, Oscar, it's not a digital rape whistle. 185 00:07:56,433 --> 00:07:58,095 Wuphf is about fun. That's right. 186 00:07:58,168 --> 00:07:59,966 Fun, communication, connection. 187 00:08:00,370 --> 00:08:01,429 What's your money situation? 188 00:08:01,571 --> 00:08:03,437 Well, it's tight, as with any start-up. 189 00:08:03,506 --> 00:08:05,737 Sure, how long can you sustain this without a cash infusion? 190 00:08:05,809 --> 00:08:09,143 We have nine solid days. I love these questions. Keep 'em coming. 191 00:08:09,212 --> 00:08:11,306 I'm sorry, nine days until what? 192 00:08:11,381 --> 00:08:12,371 Bankruptcy? 193 00:08:12,482 --> 00:08:15,418 Wait, Ryan, so this could be over by the weekend? 194 00:08:15,585 --> 00:08:17,281 How long do you think a week is? 195 00:08:17,354 --> 00:08:19,118 No, not this weekend. Next weekend. 196 00:08:19,189 --> 00:08:20,748 We were gonna go on the investors' ski trip. 197 00:08:22,292 --> 00:08:24,693 I bought poles. 198 00:08:27,964 --> 00:08:30,229 Well, since I have no incentive to sell, 199 00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:34,237 I've cleaned my car, organized my desk, and taken a multivitamin. 200 00:08:34,337 --> 00:08:35,737 So... 201 00:08:36,473 --> 00:08:37,566 What now? 202 00:08:38,008 --> 00:08:39,670 Pam. 203 00:08:42,579 --> 00:08:44,013 Okay, now I've tried everything. 204 00:08:44,314 --> 00:08:46,249 Did you prank Dwight? No. 205 00:08:46,316 --> 00:08:47,409 Well, you like that. 206 00:08:47,484 --> 00:08:49,749 Yeah, it's not as fun if I'm not blowing off work. 207 00:08:49,819 --> 00:08:51,515 I love you, but I'm kind of busy, 208 00:08:51,588 --> 00:08:54,490 so I need you to figure this one out on your own. 209 00:09:04,334 --> 00:09:06,803 Oscar said Wuphf only has enough money for nine days. 210 00:09:06,903 --> 00:09:08,701 Check this out. 211 00:09:09,839 --> 00:09:11,501 - All that color. - Look at that. 212 00:09:11,574 --> 00:09:13,873 Triple your investment by January. 213 00:09:13,943 --> 00:09:16,208 Anyone can just throw numbers up on a chart. 214 00:09:16,279 --> 00:09:17,508 What are you doing to make it happen? 215 00:09:17,714 --> 00:09:20,707 Well, earlier today, I was emailing someone by the name of John Legend. 216 00:09:20,784 --> 00:09:22,218 There you go. You have his email? 217 00:09:22,285 --> 00:09:25,881 A lot of these guys are just Mac.com at their website whatever. 218 00:09:25,955 --> 00:09:27,617 We get that guy wuphfing, 219 00:09:27,857 --> 00:09:28,847 it's all over. 220 00:09:28,925 --> 00:09:30,223 I want my money back. 221 00:09:30,293 --> 00:09:32,057 Do not talk like that, Stanley. 222 00:09:32,128 --> 00:09:34,029 Ryan, just tell us your plan. 223 00:09:34,364 --> 00:09:37,801 Okay, all right. I know what you wanna see. I'll be right back. 224 00:09:44,941 --> 00:09:46,603 Hey, kids, was that fun? 225 00:09:46,676 --> 00:09:47,666 Yeah! All right. 226 00:09:47,811 --> 00:09:49,507 I wanna go on it again. 227 00:09:49,579 --> 00:09:50,945 Oh, I bet you do. 228 00:09:51,147 --> 00:09:52,171 You know what? 229 00:09:52,248 --> 00:09:54,513 When I was a little kid, they couldn't get me off the hayride. 230 00:09:54,584 --> 00:09:56,018 But it's gonna cost you three more bucks. 231 00:09:57,087 --> 00:10:00,387 Wow! This brings back memories. 232 00:10:00,457 --> 00:10:03,017 Hay stacking, hay throwing... 233 00:10:03,093 --> 00:10:07,531 And at the end of it all, one lucky boy would be crowned hay king. 234 00:10:07,597 --> 00:10:10,431 I always wanted to be hay king. 235 00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:12,230 But the world shines on Mose. 236 00:10:19,075 --> 00:10:20,338 Where have you been? I've been waiting. 237 00:10:20,643 --> 00:10:22,043 Can we move this to the end of the day? 238 00:10:22,178 --> 00:10:23,874 No, I think you should make time for it. 239 00:10:23,947 --> 00:10:25,506 I found the needle in the haystack! 240 00:10:25,582 --> 00:10:27,847 Hey, congratulations. Do you know what your prize is? 241 00:10:27,917 --> 00:10:28,907 I don't know. 242 00:10:29,052 --> 00:10:32,489 Nothing. Life lesson? Some tasks are not worth doing. 243 00:10:33,623 --> 00:10:34,613 Dwight? 244 00:10:35,191 --> 00:10:37,751 Wuphf T-shirts. Who wants one? 245 00:10:37,827 --> 00:10:40,023 Just imagine that you're at spring break at Daytona Beach. 246 00:10:40,096 --> 00:10:41,086 Here we go. Okay? 247 00:10:41,164 --> 00:10:42,723 Everyone's like, "Hey, dude, what's up 248 00:10:42,799 --> 00:10:44,995 "with all the hotties in the Wuphf shirts?" 249 00:10:45,101 --> 00:10:47,696 Or, "Hey, what's up with that helicopter?" 250 00:10:48,204 --> 00:10:49,297 "It's Ry from Wuphf!" 251 00:10:49,372 --> 00:10:50,396 "It's Ry, the Wuphf guy!" 252 00:10:50,473 --> 00:10:51,532 "Yo, Ry from Wuphf!" 253 00:10:51,608 --> 00:10:53,099 "He's up there." "What's he dropping?" 254 00:10:53,176 --> 00:10:54,872 "Wow, what's falling on us, man?" 255 00:10:55,044 --> 00:10:56,342 Wuphf condoms! 256 00:10:56,646 --> 00:10:58,342 Fifty thousand condoms out of the sky. 257 00:10:58,414 --> 00:10:59,404 Look at that! 258 00:10:59,482 --> 00:11:00,575 He threw 'em on the ground! 259 00:11:00,650 --> 00:11:03,449 Look, this is a marketing campaign. You got nine days. 260 00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:04,681 Let's say you do get the money. 261 00:11:04,754 --> 00:11:05,744 What are you gonna do with it? 262 00:11:05,822 --> 00:11:07,484 The first lesson of Silicon Valley, actually, 263 00:11:07,557 --> 00:11:10,493 is that you only think about the user, the experience. 264 00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:13,086 You actually don't think about the money. Ever. 265 00:11:13,563 --> 00:11:14,690 That sounds weird. 266 00:11:14,831 --> 00:11:17,357 No, it's not weird, Andy, and you know what else? 267 00:11:17,433 --> 00:11:19,732 We have an offer from Washington University. 268 00:11:19,802 --> 00:11:21,168 So, monetize that. 269 00:11:21,237 --> 00:11:23,229 Are you guys meeting about Wuphf? 270 00:11:23,306 --> 00:11:25,434 You know that that was my idea, right? 271 00:11:25,508 --> 00:11:27,067 I said to Ryan, "I try to call you, 272 00:11:27,143 --> 00:11:28,133 "and you don't have your phone. 273 00:11:28,211 --> 00:11:29,679 "I try to I.M. you, and you're not online. 274 00:11:29,746 --> 00:11:31,840 "I wish there was a way that I could do everything all at once, 275 00:11:31,915 --> 00:11:33,213 "and I could just be like this little dog going, 276 00:11:33,283 --> 00:11:34,808 "'Ruff! Ruff! Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!'" 277 00:11:34,884 --> 00:11:36,147 Baby, baby, baby... I think I'm gonna sue you. 278 00:11:36,219 --> 00:11:37,209 No, no, no. 279 00:11:37,287 --> 00:11:38,346 I do, I do. This isn't right. 280 00:11:38,421 --> 00:11:40,322 I help you with your things, and you help me with my things. 281 00:11:40,490 --> 00:11:41,856 But I... It's not right. 282 00:11:41,958 --> 00:11:43,950 I got this. It's okay. Don't worry about this. 283 00:11:44,227 --> 00:11:46,628 Is it any particular branch of Washington University? 284 00:11:46,729 --> 00:11:48,823 The Washington University Public Health Fund. 285 00:11:49,265 --> 00:11:52,235 W-U-P-H-F. 286 00:11:52,302 --> 00:11:53,292 Oh, God. 287 00:11:53,369 --> 00:11:54,803 They only want it for the initials. 288 00:11:54,904 --> 00:11:56,532 The domain name. Yeah, they do. 289 00:11:56,606 --> 00:11:57,972 - I move we sell. - What? 290 00:11:58,041 --> 00:11:59,509 Yeah, sell. Sell. 291 00:11:59,576 --> 00:12:00,566 Get us out of this. 292 00:12:00,643 --> 00:12:02,111 Have some faith in this idea. 293 00:12:02,212 --> 00:12:03,805 If everybody wants to sell, we sell, right? 294 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:06,111 I won't sell. And you know what? 295 00:12:06,182 --> 00:12:08,845 Ryan and I have the majority of shares. 296 00:12:08,918 --> 00:12:10,750 Isn't that right? Yes. You alone do, actually. 297 00:12:10,820 --> 00:12:11,810 I... Yes. 298 00:12:12,121 --> 00:12:13,111 We're not selling. 299 00:12:13,189 --> 00:12:14,953 I will not sell. 300 00:12:16,926 --> 00:12:18,588 Awesome. 301 00:12:21,931 --> 00:12:24,423 Do you mind if we share this bale? 302 00:12:24,500 --> 00:12:25,661 Sure. 303 00:12:25,735 --> 00:12:27,863 There's no charge to sit on the hay, is there? 304 00:12:28,271 --> 00:12:29,500 Probably. 305 00:12:29,973 --> 00:12:31,236 I mean, wouldn't you think 306 00:12:31,307 --> 00:12:34,004 the $10 to build your own broom would include the hay 307 00:12:34,077 --> 00:12:35,340 and not just the instructions? 308 00:12:35,411 --> 00:12:36,401 I mean, I'm starting to think 309 00:12:36,479 --> 00:12:38,072 this guy is just trying to make money off the holiday. 310 00:12:38,481 --> 00:12:40,712 Yeah, instead of "Hay Place" it should be "Pay Place." 311 00:12:41,851 --> 00:12:42,841 Don't laugh at me. 312 00:12:43,052 --> 00:12:45,783 No, no, no, I wasn't. I was just laughing at your joke. 313 00:12:46,556 --> 00:12:47,580 Oh. 314 00:12:49,759 --> 00:12:51,421 "Pay Place." 315 00:12:51,494 --> 00:12:55,932 Yeah, so we can celebrate "Thanksgiving-me-your-money" Day. 316 00:12:55,999 --> 00:12:57,092 That's humorous. 317 00:12:57,166 --> 00:12:58,156 Thank you. 318 00:13:01,170 --> 00:13:02,365 You guys know how to get out? 319 00:13:07,610 --> 00:13:08,600 Hi, Michael. 320 00:13:08,678 --> 00:13:10,544 Can't talk, saving the planet. 321 00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:12,046 Oh, we don't recycle. 322 00:13:12,415 --> 00:13:13,542 We don't? 323 00:13:13,616 --> 00:13:15,949 Well, why have I been separating the trash into whites and colors? 324 00:13:16,152 --> 00:13:17,711 I'm sure no one asked you to do that. 325 00:13:20,356 --> 00:13:21,824 Eight years. 326 00:13:23,626 --> 00:13:25,151 Listen, I know you really like Ryan... 327 00:13:25,228 --> 00:13:26,924 No, I won't even consider it. 328 00:13:27,163 --> 00:13:28,893 Michael, I... 329 00:13:30,133 --> 00:13:32,728 I hate to say this, but... 330 00:13:32,802 --> 00:13:36,432 You know this special bond that you've always felt with Ryan, 331 00:13:36,506 --> 00:13:37,974 where, like, you're best friends 332 00:13:38,041 --> 00:13:39,600 or you're his mentor or something? 333 00:13:39,676 --> 00:13:43,670 Right, yes, yeah. Best friend/mentor. 334 00:13:44,847 --> 00:13:48,079 Michael, I think that that feeling only goes one way. 335 00:13:49,152 --> 00:13:51,144 And I think that Ryan knows that, 336 00:13:51,220 --> 00:13:52,654 and he's taking advantage of you. 337 00:13:55,591 --> 00:13:56,718 I think you are wrong. 338 00:13:57,327 --> 00:13:58,920 And there are a lot of other people 339 00:13:58,995 --> 00:14:02,056 in this office who have money at stake. 340 00:14:02,131 --> 00:14:03,497 Other people you care about. 341 00:14:07,804 --> 00:14:12,435 You may be right. I may be crazy. 342 00:14:12,575 --> 00:14:13,634 Don't. 343 00:14:13,776 --> 00:14:16,746 I'm just saying that I think I agree with your point. 344 00:14:17,013 --> 00:14:19,642 Yeah, but in a jokey way where you're gonna start singing. 345 00:14:21,784 --> 00:14:23,082 I thought it might make me feel better. 346 00:14:24,187 --> 00:14:26,053 Okay. Go ahead. 347 00:14:28,057 --> 00:14:32,427 But it just may be a lunatic 348 00:14:32,495 --> 00:14:33,861 No. 349 00:14:36,165 --> 00:14:38,396 Ooh, nice. Wasting time, here we go. 350 00:14:38,468 --> 00:14:40,369 Hey, back off. It's solitaire. 351 00:14:41,337 --> 00:14:42,327 Hey, kid. 352 00:14:43,072 --> 00:14:44,096 Hear you're looking for work. 353 00:14:44,173 --> 00:14:45,163 Talk to me. 354 00:14:45,274 --> 00:14:47,766 How far can you reach those lovely long arms of yours? 355 00:14:49,278 --> 00:14:50,268 Put 'em down. 356 00:14:50,813 --> 00:14:53,578 How long can you hold that pretty little breath of yours? 357 00:14:55,051 --> 00:14:56,041 Good. 358 00:14:57,487 --> 00:14:58,819 Hey, Jim? 359 00:14:58,921 --> 00:15:00,389 Are you distracting these people? 360 00:15:00,456 --> 00:15:01,446 We're working. 361 00:15:03,860 --> 00:15:05,328 Can you at least try to look busy? 362 00:15:07,296 --> 00:15:09,162 The moment Darla put the cupcake in her mouth, 363 00:15:09,232 --> 00:15:10,791 her daddy pulled her aside and said, 364 00:15:10,867 --> 00:15:14,736 "You're too fat. No one's gonna like you if you're too fat." 365 00:15:16,873 --> 00:15:19,968 The next time I saw David Geffen was at the Buffalo Club. 366 00:15:20,076 --> 00:15:23,569 "I love you, you gay bastard," I said. 367 00:15:23,646 --> 00:15:25,342 "You gay bastard," I... 368 00:15:25,782 --> 00:15:26,772 Gay ba... 369 00:15:27,450 --> 00:15:28,679 Gay... 370 00:15:32,789 --> 00:15:33,950 Michael, 371 00:15:34,023 --> 00:15:35,582 how's it going, bro? Good, good, bro. 372 00:15:35,658 --> 00:15:37,559 Hey, thanks so much for having my back out there. 373 00:15:37,627 --> 00:15:39,118 Always have your back. 374 00:15:39,228 --> 00:15:41,925 So, any ideas on how we can get over this nine-day hump here? 375 00:15:41,998 --> 00:15:45,662 I have nothing but ideas. The thing is, they all require money. 376 00:15:45,802 --> 00:15:47,532 Nine days, though. That's, like... 377 00:15:47,603 --> 00:15:49,936 Look, I know I've tapped you so hard. 378 00:15:50,173 --> 00:15:52,074 Yes, you have tapped this. Hard. 379 00:15:53,576 --> 00:15:54,942 You are funny, Michael. 380 00:15:55,044 --> 00:15:57,013 You... People don't give you enough credit. 381 00:15:57,146 --> 00:15:59,342 Maybe I could take a second mortgage on my condo. 382 00:15:59,749 --> 00:16:01,183 Well, a lot of people are doing that, 383 00:16:01,250 --> 00:16:02,684 and there don't seem to be any consequences. 384 00:16:02,752 --> 00:16:05,278 And they say the rates have never been lower. 385 00:16:05,388 --> 00:16:08,153 So, you would think that's a good idea for me to do? 386 00:16:08,291 --> 00:16:12,160 Think about this, you and me on our private plane, 387 00:16:12,562 --> 00:16:14,292 flown by our private pilot, 388 00:16:14,363 --> 00:16:17,697 eating our private meal, cooked by our private chef. 389 00:16:17,767 --> 00:16:19,668 Yeah, well, we never even have dinner now, so... 390 00:16:19,802 --> 00:16:20,792 We totally should. 391 00:16:20,870 --> 00:16:21,894 Tonight? 392 00:16:22,305 --> 00:16:23,364 I gotta work on this. 393 00:16:23,439 --> 00:16:26,238 Right. What am I saying? Rain check. 394 00:16:26,309 --> 00:16:27,937 Yeah. 395 00:16:30,079 --> 00:16:35,313 And now, by show of applause, we will crown this year's hay king. 396 00:16:35,418 --> 00:16:38,183 All in favor of Purebred. 397 00:16:38,821 --> 00:16:40,187 Put your hands together for 398 00:16:40,389 --> 00:16:41,721 Mixed Bred. 399 00:16:42,859 --> 00:16:44,225 And let's hear it for 400 00:16:44,494 --> 00:16:45,792 Purebred. 401 00:16:47,697 --> 00:16:49,757 We appear to have a three-way tie. 402 00:16:49,832 --> 00:16:53,166 I have no choice but to pick the hay king myself. 403 00:16:53,302 --> 00:16:54,531 I pick... 404 00:16:56,606 --> 00:16:59,701 Me! I am your hay king! 405 00:17:00,409 --> 00:17:03,004 All hail your hay king! 406 00:17:06,015 --> 00:17:08,849 Did I truck 300 bales of hay to a parking lot 407 00:17:08,918 --> 00:17:11,444 to rectify some childhood disappointment? 408 00:17:13,289 --> 00:17:14,348 Yes. 409 00:17:14,557 --> 00:17:16,219 So, if I were to call Dunder Mifflin 410 00:17:16,292 --> 00:17:18,284 and ask for Miss Angela Martin, 411 00:17:19,862 --> 00:17:20,852 would I get through to you? 412 00:17:22,331 --> 00:17:23,822 You would. 413 00:17:23,900 --> 00:17:26,131 And if I were to call your house and ask for your wife, 414 00:17:26,202 --> 00:17:27,261 would I get through to you? 415 00:17:28,237 --> 00:17:30,365 My wife passed away a few years ago. 416 00:17:30,606 --> 00:17:32,404 How tragic. 417 00:17:32,475 --> 00:17:33,841 Very sorry to hear that. 418 00:17:33,910 --> 00:17:34,900 Thank you. 419 00:17:36,612 --> 00:17:39,582 Help! Hello? 420 00:17:41,617 --> 00:17:44,143 Oh! Help! 421 00:17:48,124 --> 00:17:50,423 Consider it a wuphf in person. 422 00:17:50,493 --> 00:17:51,825 You're doing the wrong thing. 423 00:17:51,894 --> 00:17:54,125 You're gonna lose Michael's investment, you're gonna lose ours. 424 00:17:54,196 --> 00:17:56,688 You got this crazy opportunity to get our money back. 425 00:17:57,033 --> 00:17:58,126 Tell Mike to sell. 426 00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:00,169 If you tell Michael to sell, he'll sell. 427 00:18:01,337 --> 00:18:02,327 I'm betting on myself. 428 00:18:02,438 --> 00:18:03,736 It's a bad bet. 429 00:18:03,806 --> 00:18:04,796 Hello? 430 00:18:05,341 --> 00:18:07,207 Hey. It's an ambush here. 431 00:18:07,276 --> 00:18:08,767 Nobody here believes in this company. 432 00:18:08,844 --> 00:18:09,868 Will you tell them they're wrong? 433 00:18:10,112 --> 00:18:11,341 It's not that we don't believe in the company. 434 00:18:11,414 --> 00:18:12,507 We don't believe in you. 435 00:18:12,615 --> 00:18:14,174 All those in favor of selling, say "aye." 436 00:18:14,417 --> 00:18:15,783 Aye. Aye. 437 00:18:15,851 --> 00:18:16,841 Aye. Aye. 438 00:18:17,687 --> 00:18:18,814 Aye. 439 00:18:21,023 --> 00:18:24,255 Do not agree to sell, which is to say nay. 440 00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:27,855 What is wrong with you? What happened to you in high school? 441 00:18:27,930 --> 00:18:29,125 Michael, are you that blind? 442 00:18:29,265 --> 00:18:32,030 I'm not blind! I know exactly who he is. 443 00:18:32,101 --> 00:18:36,664 He is selfish and lazy and image-obsessed, and he is a bad friend. 444 00:18:38,574 --> 00:18:41,009 And he's also clever. 445 00:18:41,077 --> 00:18:44,741 And he shoots incredibly high, and he may just make it. 446 00:18:45,114 --> 00:18:46,446 But you know what, even if he doesn't, 447 00:18:46,515 --> 00:18:49,644 I would rather go broke betting on my people 448 00:18:49,719 --> 00:18:53,815 than get rich all by myself on some island like a castaway. 449 00:18:53,889 --> 00:18:55,323 And there is no middle ground. 450 00:18:55,391 --> 00:18:57,553 You're gonna lose all of our money. 451 00:18:57,760 --> 00:19:02,198 Only if he fails. And you know what? Ryan, I believe in you, 452 00:19:02,632 --> 00:19:04,760 just like I believe in all of you. 453 00:19:06,669 --> 00:19:09,332 You have nine days to save everybody's money. 454 00:19:09,572 --> 00:19:12,132 Oh, that's a lot of pressure. 455 00:19:12,208 --> 00:19:14,040 I'm gonna need some more time. 456 00:19:14,343 --> 00:19:15,504 You can't have it. 457 00:19:18,180 --> 00:19:19,375 Okay. 458 00:19:20,216 --> 00:19:21,741 I won't let you down. 459 00:19:29,558 --> 00:19:32,995 Angela? Angela! 460 00:19:42,538 --> 00:19:46,066 The world sends people your way... 461 00:19:46,142 --> 00:19:51,308 Ryan came to me through a temp agency. Andy was transferred here. 462 00:19:51,380 --> 00:19:53,849 No idea where Creed came from. 463 00:19:54,050 --> 00:19:55,313 The point is you just have to play 464 00:19:55,384 --> 00:19:57,546 with the cards that you're dealt. 465 00:19:57,687 --> 00:19:58,677 Jim, 466 00:19:58,988 --> 00:20:00,354 that guy is an ace. 467 00:20:00,423 --> 00:20:03,484 Dwight is my king up my sleeve. Phyllis is my old maid. 468 00:20:03,559 --> 00:20:04,857 Oscar is my queen. 469 00:20:04,927 --> 00:20:09,126 That's easy. Give me a hard one. That's what Oscar said. 470 00:20:09,398 --> 00:20:12,163 Toby is the instruction card you throw away. 471 00:20:12,234 --> 00:20:13,793 Pam is a solid seven. 472 00:20:13,869 --> 00:20:16,668 And yeah, you know what? Ryan is probably, like, a two. 473 00:20:16,739 --> 00:20:19,834 But sometimes twos can be wild, so watch out. 474 00:20:20,042 --> 00:20:23,240 And I am obviously the joker, so... 475 00:20:25,848 --> 00:20:26,838 That's... 476 00:20:28,250 --> 00:20:32,085 - Wuphf from Ryan Howard. - Decided to sell company. 477 00:20:32,154 --> 00:20:34,680 Thanks, bro. Hell of a ride. 478 00:20:34,757 --> 00:20:36,282 Thank God. 479 00:20:46,435 --> 00:20:47,425 Gabe Lewis. 480 00:20:48,237 --> 00:20:50,433 Now, listen here, Gabe, you're too fat. 481 00:20:50,506 --> 00:20:52,634 No one's gonna like you if you're too fat. 482 00:20:52,708 --> 00:20:55,735 I made some changes to my book. See if you like them. 483 00:20:55,811 --> 00:20:57,712 Well, Jo... Now, I love reading, 484 00:20:57,780 --> 00:20:59,112 and I hate being interrupted. 485 00:20:59,248 --> 00:21:01,911 Shut up and listen, you gay bastard. 486 00:21:01,984 --> 00:21:06,251 Chapter one. I was born, not into luxury nor poverty, 487 00:21:06,322 --> 00:21:09,087 but into adversity, and for that, I thank the Lord. 488 00:21:09,158 --> 00:21:11,218 My father was a man. That's all we can know. 489 00:21:11,293 --> 00:21:14,286 After I learned to ride a bike, there was no stopping me. 490 00:21:14,363 --> 00:21:17,299 I would ride up Magnolia Street and down Azalea Lane, 491 00:21:17,366 --> 00:21:18,698 which would later become my paper route... 492 00:21:18,768 --> 00:21:19,827 All right, good night, Gabe. 493 00:21:19,902 --> 00:21:21,234 Just wanted to say thanks again 494 00:21:21,303 --> 00:21:22,794 'cause I really think I made good use of my day. 495 00:21:22,872 --> 00:21:24,670 wherever I wanted. 496 00:21:24,740 --> 00:21:26,470 I have always been a fighter. Sorry. 497 00:21:26,776 --> 00:21:29,712 And fate has obliged me with plenty of battles, 498 00:21:29,779 --> 00:21:30,838 the first being a hard... 499 00:21:31,295 --> 00:21:41,295 Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.