1
00:00:07,741 --> 00:00:08,800
Why?

2
00:00:09,042 --> 00:00:11,034
Twenty minutes a day, Jim.
That's all it takes.

3
00:00:12,045 --> 00:00:13,741
Twenty minutes a day,
all feet, no hands,

4
00:00:13,881 --> 00:00:15,611
and I'll have
the pedidexterity of a chimp,

5
00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:18,083
and you'll be sitting
there like an idiot.

6
00:00:18,485 --> 00:00:20,750
Okay, here we go. Yes.

7
00:00:21,421 --> 00:00:22,889
Do you mind?
I'm sorry, Pam.

8
00:00:23,290 --> 00:00:25,225
Allow me to write
you an apology letter.

9
00:00:26,126 --> 00:00:27,822
You don't have to do that.

10
00:00:27,995 --> 00:00:28,985
D...

11
00:00:29,296 --> 00:00:30,320
E...

12
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:32,864
A...

13
00:00:33,066 --> 00:00:34,295
Oh...

14
00:00:34,601 --> 00:00:37,594
Backspace,
A... Dear...

15
00:00:42,309 --> 00:00:43,572
Thank you, hands.

16
00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:46,045
Nothing else in the universe
can do what you do.

17
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:57,487
Don't worry about it. Dwight, it's okay.
You were wrong.

18
00:00:57,858 --> 00:00:58,848
It's so hot.

19
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:06,074
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org

20
00:01:07,367 --> 00:01:09,131
Well, "A" for effort, right?

21
00:01:25,152 --> 00:01:27,280
Welcome.
Start your morning right

22
00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:29,549
with a burst of
blueberry or try plain.

23
00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:30,613
What's the occasion?

24
00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:33,058
Dwight said this entry
was a waste of space.

25
00:01:33,126 --> 00:01:37,120
I would like un muffin
du blueberry, por favor.

26
00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:38,788
$8.

27
00:01:38,865 --> 00:01:39,855
$8?

28
00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:43,099
Owning a building is a war between
the landlord and the tenant.

29
00:01:43,170 --> 00:01:45,002
Not a literal war,
unfortunately,

30
00:01:45,138 --> 00:01:46,970
but I am using
the same tactics.

31
00:01:47,207 --> 00:01:51,110
I've surrounded the enemy,
and I'm slowly starving them.

32
00:01:51,178 --> 00:01:53,272
To save on electricity,
I have installed a timer

33
00:01:53,413 --> 00:01:55,507
and motion
sensors on the lights.

34
00:01:55,582 --> 00:01:59,576
It's part of my green initiative.
And by green, I mean money.

35
00:02:01,488 --> 00:02:02,512
Mmm-hmm.

36
00:02:02,589 --> 00:02:04,615
China. China.

37
00:02:04,992 --> 00:02:06,153
Michael, how was the dentist?

38
00:02:07,027 --> 00:02:08,051
It was great.

39
00:02:08,328 --> 00:02:09,352
China.

40
00:02:10,063 --> 00:02:11,087
Are you okay?
What's wrong?

41
00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:13,224
Everything here was
made in China, Pam.

42
00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:14,563
Yeah, that's where
they make stuff.

43
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:17,662
They used to make stuff in America,
Andy, but we're falling behind.

44
00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:18,728
Did you know that?

45
00:02:18,905 --> 00:02:22,501
China is a sleeping dragon that
is just beginning to stir.

46
00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:23,805
Oh, no.
Yeah.

47
00:02:24,011 --> 00:02:26,378
Right here.
It is right there.

48
00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:29,247
Anybody read the news anymore?

49
00:02:30,951 --> 00:02:32,214
"China is on the move."

50
00:02:32,285 --> 00:02:34,777
I found that in the waiting
room at the dentist's office.

51
00:02:34,855 --> 00:02:36,756
This kid had
the magazine I wanted to read.

52
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:38,314
That's the only
one I could reach,

53
00:02:38,458 --> 00:02:39,983
and I read it and
then I read it again.

54
00:02:40,127 --> 00:02:43,461
My whole life I believed
that America was number one.

55
00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:44,793
That was the saying.

56
00:02:44,865 --> 00:02:48,199
Not America's number two.
England is number two.

57
00:02:48,268 --> 00:02:51,705
China should be, like, eight.

58
00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:53,663
Hey, Andy.

59
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,100
Hey, Darryl.

60
00:02:55,475 --> 00:02:57,307
You gotta stop
texting me so much.

61
00:02:59,212 --> 00:03:01,807
But I wanted you to know that Michael
and I are wearing the same tie today.

62
00:03:01,882 --> 00:03:02,872
It's insane.

63
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:06,176
You need to change your standard
for what's worthy of a text.

64
00:03:06,253 --> 00:03:09,519
Ask yourself, "Is this something
Darryl needs to know?"

65
00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:11,285
The answer's
almost always "no."

66
00:03:11,892 --> 00:03:13,520
Got it.
Then, I will call you.

67
00:03:13,593 --> 00:03:14,583
No.

68
00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:17,464
There was a time when the
only people who texted you

69
00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:20,763
were people you
wanted to text you. Girls.

70
00:03:20,834 --> 00:03:24,066
And they'd all say the same thing.
"I'm coming over, baby."

71
00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:28,939
And I would text back. B-T-B.
"Bring that Booty."

72
00:03:30,110 --> 00:03:34,047
Dwight. Why is the toilet
paper only half a ply?

73
00:03:34,481 --> 00:03:36,950
I'm sorry. Is that not
good enough for your anus?

74
00:03:38,518 --> 00:03:40,987
Don't get me started on how
coddled the modern anus is.

75
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:42,545
Okay, Stanley,

76
00:03:42,622 --> 00:03:45,091
maybe you can just unspool a little
more each time you need to...

77
00:03:45,158 --> 00:03:47,093
Don't tell me how
to do my business.

78
00:03:47,694 --> 00:03:51,756
Stanley, as a fellow Dunder
Mifflin employee, I feel for you,

79
00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:54,529
but, like you,
I am completely powerless

80
00:03:54,601 --> 00:03:55,762
to the whims of
the new building owner.

81
00:03:55,836 --> 00:03:56,826
Which is you.

82
00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:58,595
"Which is you"
is not a sentence.

83
00:03:58,772 --> 00:04:00,035
I disagree with.

84
00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:01,869
Are you gonna just sit there,
office administrator,

85
00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:03,604
or are you gonna do something?

86
00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:08,045
Dwight, can we talk
about these cut backs?

87
00:04:08,315 --> 00:04:11,513
Pam, when I'm sitting at
this desk, I'm a salesman.

88
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,144
If you wanna talk to
the new building owner,

89
00:04:13,220 --> 00:04:15,086
you should call Nate
and schedule an appointment.

90
00:04:15,388 --> 00:04:16,879
I'm not gonna do that.

91
00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:18,983
Well, then you're not going to
talk to the new building owner,

92
00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:20,049
which is a shame,

93
00:04:20,127 --> 00:04:21,789
because I hear he's
a very reasonable guy.

94
00:04:24,464 --> 00:04:26,365
Y'ello?
Hi, Nate. It's Pam Halpert.

95
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:27,423
Oh, hey, Pam.

96
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:30,369
Hey, I would just love to schedule
a meeting today with Dwight.

97
00:04:30,504 --> 00:04:32,905
Let me put you on hold
just for one eensy second.

98
00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:34,333
Sure.

99
00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:38,804
Dwight Schrute.

100
00:04:39,045 --> 00:04:40,035
Mmm-hmm.

101
00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:42,040
Tell her I'm busy.

102
00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:44,274
I don't know.
Make something up.

103
00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:48,684
Hey, Pam, Dwight's being
questioned by the police

104
00:04:48,755 --> 00:04:52,658
in connection with a string of
dognappings that have been...

105
00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:54,216
Dwight.

106
00:04:55,562 --> 00:04:58,589
Dwight, can you please tell
the new building owner

107
00:04:58,665 --> 00:05:01,032
that he is screwing over
all the people he works with.

108
00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:03,764
People he's worked with
for years, his friends.

109
00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:07,065
You know what, Pam?
You're right.

110
00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:10,069
This isn't just a business,

111
00:05:11,344 --> 00:05:13,108
this is a home.

112
00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:15,274
And I would much rather see
a smile from Kevin

113
00:05:15,348 --> 00:05:17,977
than save hundreds
on plumbing and electricity.

114
00:05:20,353 --> 00:05:21,343
Oh, my God.

115
00:05:21,454 --> 00:05:22,444
What?

116
00:05:22,522 --> 00:05:25,424
According to the Internet, the
tallest man in the world is Chinese.

117
00:05:25,725 --> 00:05:27,523
So much for keeping
our secrets up high.

118
00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:28,851
What's America gonna do?

119
00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:31,497
I know what we're gonna do. We're
gonna put our best minds on it.

120
00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:35,631
Everybody, stop working.

121
00:05:36,736 --> 00:05:38,602
I want you all
to imagine a world

122
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,868
in which America is not
the number one superpower,

123
00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:43,510
where forks are irrelevant,

124
00:05:44,477 --> 00:05:46,469
and where every man,
woman and child

125
00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:49,312
is expected to learn
how to play the cello.

126
00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:51,507
Now, open your eyes.

127
00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:52,951
You never told
us to close them.

128
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:54,484
Welcome to your future.

129
00:05:54,621 --> 00:05:56,146
What do we do?
How do we stop this?

130
00:05:56,456 --> 00:05:59,585
How do we stop it?
With a big idea.

131
00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:02,258
That's what
America is built on.

132
00:06:02,329 --> 00:06:05,925
Big ideas,
blue jeans, the Grand Canyon.

133
00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:07,934
Who's got one?
Who's got a big idea?

134
00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:09,560
An idea bigger
than the Grand Canyon?

135
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,296
Yes, indeed.

136
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:13,362
Yes, Kevin.

137
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:17,474
An antacid that you
only take once a week.

138
00:06:18,478 --> 00:06:22,779
Once-a-week antacid is the idea to beat.
Anyone else?

139
00:06:23,583 --> 00:06:24,744
Nobody?

140
00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:25,808
Okay, then, we are...

141
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:26,876
Michael.
Yes.

142
00:06:26,953 --> 00:06:31,516
An antacid pill that you
take once every six weeks.

143
00:06:31,591 --> 00:06:33,253
Why not just go
one for the year?

144
00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:34,316
I don't know.

145
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,329
It's too big a pill to swallow.
All right.

146
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:39,298
What if we all get together
and help each other,

147
00:06:39,366 --> 00:06:41,460
and hire a new guy
and then we all kill him,

148
00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:44,561
but first we take out, like, a
$100,000 life insurance policy?

149
00:06:44,638 --> 00:06:46,402
I bet you guys like
that idea, don't you?

150
00:06:47,807 --> 00:06:49,332
I think that's what
they're doing to me.

151
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:52,868
I can't prove it, but I wanted to
see their faces when I said it.

152
00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:54,209
I learned nothing.

153
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:56,749
I don't know
what the that was.

154
00:06:56,816 --> 00:06:57,806
I say we bomb 'em.

155
00:06:57,918 --> 00:07:00,149
By 2020, they're gonna be
the world's largest economy,

156
00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:03,122
and they're getting a taste for protein.
We'll all starve.

157
00:07:03,189 --> 00:07:04,657
Yeah, Dwight's right,
we should drop the bomb.

158
00:07:04,724 --> 00:07:05,987
No, he's not right.
We're not...

159
00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:07,789
Where would we
even drop it, Phyllis?

160
00:07:08,228 --> 00:07:12,427
Did you know that in China there are
56 cities with over a million people?

161
00:07:12,499 --> 00:07:14,331
You know how many
we have here? Nine.

162
00:07:14,401 --> 00:07:15,892
Actually, that's not true.

163
00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:17,631
I know the figure
you're referring to,

164
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:19,433
and it's a projection
of 15 years from now.

165
00:07:19,506 --> 00:07:20,530
Thank God.

166
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:22,098
No. No,
that is right now.

167
00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:25,470
Michael, China's agrarian.
Urbanizing fast? You betcha.

168
00:07:25,545 --> 00:07:26,535
But still agrarian.

169
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:29,076
Most in terms of land,
not population.

170
00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:30,378
Come on,
Michael, you couldn't...

171
00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:31,746
No! No, you're
wrong about this.

172
00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:34,184
Where are you
getting this information?

173
00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:35,916
I got it from
newyorktimes.com.

174
00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:37,013
Uh-oh.

175
00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:39,059
Getting nervous, Oscar?

176
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:40,252
Okay, someone
look it up.

177
00:07:40,393 --> 00:07:41,554
I'm on it, Jim. I'm on it.

178
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,062
Guys, it's not worth it.
Really.

179
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:45,098
Guys, this is not
worth our time.

180
00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:47,031
"Are you watching this?"
Seriously?

181
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:48,791
Well, are you?

182
00:07:49,002 --> 00:07:50,197
I'm sitting right here.

183
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:51,832
Got it.

184
00:07:52,238 --> 00:07:55,640
China has 56 cities with a
population of over one million.

185
00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:58,611
The U.S. has nine.

186
00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:01,104
Suck it, Oscar.

187
00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:03,150
Well, on the plus side,
all this worrying about China

188
00:08:03,216 --> 00:08:04,912
has made you smarter
than Oscar, Michael.

189
00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:06,346
Great, I was wrong.

190
00:08:06,519 --> 00:08:07,987
I'm wrong.
Is everyone happy?

191
00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:12,056
So, I happen to know more than
the smartest guy in the office.

192
00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:15,527
So what?
I don't care.

193
00:08:15,762 --> 00:08:18,857
Okay, now, where were we
before I bested Oscar?

194
00:08:21,468 --> 00:08:23,869
Wow, so this
building can get uglier.

195
00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:26,930
I will not work in
a roach billboard.

196
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:29,033
Oh, my God.
I can't look at roaches.

197
00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:30,901
Michael,
do something about this.

198
00:08:30,977 --> 00:08:33,378
Absolutely.
Pam, this is exactly why

199
00:08:33,446 --> 00:08:35,005
I hired you as
office administrator.

200
00:08:35,081 --> 00:08:36,071
Handle it.

201
00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:37,548
Taking care
of business.

202
00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:40,413
Dwight, take it down.

203
00:08:42,489 --> 00:08:44,549
I'm serious.
Take it down or else.

204
00:08:44,824 --> 00:08:47,316
Or else. Or else what?
There's nothing you can do.

205
00:08:48,928 --> 00:08:50,157
We can move out.

206
00:08:56,302 --> 00:08:57,326
Ugh.

207
00:08:57,404 --> 00:08:58,394
Really?

208
00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:09,575
So, does anyone wanna know where
I've been for the last two hours?

209
00:09:09,649 --> 00:09:12,141
Oh, my God, I've been playing
Zombie Soccer for two hours?

210
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:15,188
I went out to look for
a better office space.

211
00:09:15,455 --> 00:09:16,855
Waste of time.
Not really,

212
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:18,452
because I found one.

213
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,084
Oh, wow.

214
00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:22,217
These are nice.
Yep.

215
00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:23,285
Let me see.

216
00:09:24,764 --> 00:09:26,164
Look at the huge offices, Jim.
Yeah, I know.

217
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:28,258
Check out that conference room.
Totally.

218
00:09:28,334 --> 00:09:29,563
You can't just move out.

219
00:09:29,702 --> 00:09:30,965
Oh, in three months we can.

220
00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:32,027
Check the lease.

221
00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:34,097
And if you don't undo all the
changes you've made, we're moving.

222
00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:35,642
Hey, guys,
can I show you some pictures?

223
00:09:35,775 --> 00:09:37,903
Oh, my gosh, she's so cute.
She looks like both of you.

224
00:09:37,977 --> 00:09:39,775
They're not of Cece.
Oh, cool.

225
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:42,215
This is possibly our new
Dunder Mifflin office.

226
00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:44,308
Well, I like being
in the same building as Bob.

227
00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:45,443
It keeps me honest.

228
00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:48,511
Well, this building isn't far,
and it's much newer.

229
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,750
There's a dry cleaner,
a nail place and a gym.

230
00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:52,657
Oh, and it's next
door to an Outback,

231
00:09:52,792 --> 00:09:54,158
so it always
smells like steak.

232
00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:55,785
Are you trying to kill me?

233
00:09:56,996 --> 00:09:58,726
Is the nail place
Koreans or whites?

234
00:09:58,932 --> 00:09:59,922
Koreans.

235
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,898
Good. And the dry cleaners?

236
00:10:02,068 --> 00:10:03,058
White?

237
00:10:03,169 --> 00:10:04,159
Good.

238
00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:12,507
Whoa, there's a lot of
brain power in this room.

239
00:10:12,645 --> 00:10:15,444
We got Michael and Oscar, the two
smartest guys in the office.

240
00:10:15,715 --> 00:10:17,081
Also, in that order.

241
00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:18,617
Funny. Jim, that is funny.

242
00:10:18,685 --> 00:10:20,278
Very comedically
humorous, Jim.

243
00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:21,548
I have a computer question.

244
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,112
Hey, Oscar?
What is it?

245
00:10:23,189 --> 00:10:24,657
Can you move aside
so that I can ask Michael?

246
00:10:24,724 --> 00:10:25,851
All right.
All right, I get it.

247
00:10:26,392 --> 00:10:27,860
Michael,
how do I create a new tab?

248
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,097
Try control "P."

249
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:31,153
That's print.

250
00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:33,163
Not if the printer
isn't hooked up.

251
00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:35,429
You are making some very
dangerous assumptions, Oscar.

252
00:10:35,902 --> 00:10:38,371
Oscar, it must be killing you now
that Michael is smarter than you.

253
00:10:38,438 --> 00:10:42,534
He's not smarter than me. He was
just right about one thing.

254
00:10:42,609 --> 00:10:46,671
Yeah, but it was a really smart
thing to be right about, actually.

255
00:10:46,746 --> 00:10:48,374
Actually, it was.

256
00:10:48,615 --> 00:10:51,210
Around here,
Oscar is known as "Actually,"

257
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:54,454
because he will insert himself
into just about any conversation

258
00:10:54,521 --> 00:10:57,355
to add facts or
correct grammar.

259
00:10:57,457 --> 00:10:58,686
Actually, you're speculating.

260
00:10:58,758 --> 00:11:02,752
He really does fit that old
stereotype of the smug, gay Mexican.

261
00:11:04,731 --> 00:11:07,257
"Megan Fox. Question mark."
What's that mean?

262
00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:10,099
Megan Fox. Come on.

263
00:11:10,570 --> 00:11:11,833
You know what?

264
00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:14,704
You're one bad text away
from getting blocked.

265
00:11:14,807 --> 00:11:17,709
Yes, but one good text
away from a high five.

266
00:11:17,777 --> 00:11:18,767
You accept these terms?

267
00:11:19,078 --> 00:11:20,068
Oh, it's on.

268
00:11:21,047 --> 00:11:24,848
In your perfect world, what would
make this building awesome?

269
00:11:24,984 --> 00:11:27,010
I'm putting together
kind of a wish list.

270
00:11:27,086 --> 00:11:29,646
I wish for a million wishes.

271
00:11:29,722 --> 00:11:30,712
Yeah,

272
00:11:31,090 --> 00:11:32,558
no, I'm not a genie.
I'm just talking about...

273
00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:34,321
Then see you later,
building.

274
00:11:34,460 --> 00:11:35,587
You can't
possibly be serious.

275
00:11:35,728 --> 00:11:36,855
I said,
"See you later, building."

276
00:11:36,930 --> 00:11:38,796
Hey, Michael.
Hey.

277
00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:41,130
I was thinking about some of the
stuff you said earlier about China.

278
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:42,191
Mmm.

279
00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:44,099
I'd love to talk more about it.
Yeah.

280
00:11:44,671 --> 00:11:45,832
Maybe over
some coffee later?

281
00:11:45,972 --> 00:11:47,304
Sure.

282
00:11:50,677 --> 00:11:52,646
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Do you know
what you just agreed to?

283
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,010
Just coffee, Jim.

284
00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:55,479
No, it is not just coffee.

285
00:11:56,983 --> 00:11:58,417
He's trying to
set you up, Michael.

286
00:11:58,585 --> 00:11:59,678
What's gonna happen is

287
00:11:59,752 --> 00:12:01,243
he's gonna try to
bring up whatever

288
00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:02,878
you're talking about
in a very casual way.

289
00:12:03,356 --> 00:12:05,757
But secretly he'll be
trying to trip you up.

290
00:12:05,825 --> 00:12:07,851
And when he does,
boom, it's awful.

291
00:12:08,361 --> 00:12:09,385
Haven't you noticed that

292
00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:10,623
I don't bring up the Tour
de France around him?

293
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:11,720
Yes.

294
00:12:12,198 --> 00:12:16,226
And then, he will smugly pay the
check and make you feel so small.

295
00:12:17,770 --> 00:12:20,934
All right, well, I just need to
learn everything about China.

296
00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:23,037
To be safe, I should learn
everything about everything,

297
00:12:23,109 --> 00:12:24,702
but I don't have time,
okay? Okay.

298
00:12:24,811 --> 00:12:26,336
I'll just learn about China

299
00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:30,782
and science and geography
and math and literary.

300
00:12:30,850 --> 00:12:31,909
No politics?

301
00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:34,147
I'm pretty good on politics.

302
00:12:34,220 --> 00:12:36,086
California is bankrupt.

303
00:12:36,155 --> 00:12:38,386
And California, California.

304
00:12:44,364 --> 00:12:45,354
What?

305
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,660
Parlay.
My office. Five minutes.

306
00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:51,627
Parlay?

307
00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:54,908
Pirate code. He wants to meet.

308
00:12:55,141 --> 00:12:57,076
So, everyone here
knows pirate code?

309
00:12:57,143 --> 00:12:58,907
I understand it.
I can't speak it.

310
00:13:00,813 --> 00:13:03,942
Pam, I am not
an unreasonable man.

311
00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:06,919
If you guys stay, I will
stop watering down the soap.

312
00:13:07,153 --> 00:13:08,951
You've been
watering down the soap?

313
00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:11,753
Why do you even need soap? Are you
that bad at going to the bathroom?

314
00:13:11,824 --> 00:13:13,759
We want everything
back the way it was.

315
00:13:13,993 --> 00:13:15,154
You don't wanna move.

316
00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:17,527
Moving is one of the most stressful
things you can do in life.

317
00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:19,498
You'll probably just
take it out on your kid.

318
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:22,625
Jim will turn to the drink.
The family will fall apart.

319
00:13:22,735 --> 00:13:23,964
And 25 years from now,

320
00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:28,738
Cece will become world
famous for stripping.

321
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:33,136
That's a sad story.
I have another one.

322
00:13:33,212 --> 00:13:35,772
We move,
the other tenants follow,

323
00:13:35,848 --> 00:13:36,941
the bank takes the building,

324
00:13:37,016 --> 00:13:39,645
takes your farm, takes your car
and beats the crap out of you.

325
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,048
Penniless, you die.

326
00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:44,921
And my daughter, Cece, dances
on your grave fully clothed.

327
00:13:55,201 --> 00:13:56,499
Where is Tibet?

328
00:13:57,603 --> 00:13:58,593
Pass.

329
00:13:58,805 --> 00:13:59,795
When was China founded?

330
00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:01,639
Pass.
Two for two. Keep it up.

331
00:14:01,708 --> 00:14:02,698
Who is Mao?

332
00:14:04,977 --> 00:14:06,036
Life line.

333
00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:07,238
Damn it, Michael.

334
00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:10,509
You are moments away from the
smack down of your life.

335
00:14:10,950 --> 00:14:11,940
If you don't know something,

336
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:13,987
steer the conversation back
to something you do know.

337
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,983
I could talk about boobs. I bet
he knows nothing about boobs.

338
00:14:17,056 --> 00:14:18,217
What do you know
about boobs?

339
00:14:21,661 --> 00:14:22,890
Michael, I have
to tell you something.

340
00:14:22,995 --> 00:14:24,122
It's from Rocky II.
Thank you.

341
00:14:26,332 --> 00:14:28,358
"This guy
doesn't just wanna win,

342
00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:30,561
"you know,
he wants to bury you.

343
00:14:30,636 --> 00:14:32,127
"He wants to humiliate you."

344
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,106
Wait, wait, wait.
How long is this gonna take?

345
00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:35,572
I'm, like,
a quarter of the way through.

346
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:36,698
Is it gonna be worth it?

347
00:14:37,276 --> 00:14:38,266
No.

348
00:14:38,344 --> 00:14:40,779
Just in case, Michael,
I made you a cheat sheet.

349
00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:42,037
I don't need to cheat.

350
00:14:42,281 --> 00:14:43,271
Show him how to use it.

351
00:14:43,750 --> 00:14:44,911
10,706...

352
00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:46,212
Here it is, right here.

353
00:14:46,285 --> 00:14:47,514
Pull over. Pull over.

354
00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:50,319
Oh, my God.

355
00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:52,184
No way.

356
00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:54,256
Man, look at that.

357
00:14:54,327 --> 00:14:55,351
Yeah.

358
00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:56,794
There's no building.

359
00:14:58,131 --> 00:14:59,360
This can only mean one thing.

360
00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:00,762
Building's underground.

361
00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:02,131
She was lying.

362
00:15:02,201 --> 00:15:03,294
Oh.

363
00:15:03,369 --> 00:15:05,133
Pam, Pam, Pam, Pam.

364
00:15:05,271 --> 00:15:07,035
Pam, Pam, Pam.

365
00:15:07,106 --> 00:15:08,096
Yeah?

366
00:15:08,374 --> 00:15:09,398
Pam?

367
00:15:09,509 --> 00:15:10,875
What?
I'm Pam.

368
00:15:11,310 --> 00:15:12,710
Oh.
No, you're not.

369
00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:15,281
I'm sorry, we have a colleague
with the same name.

370
00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:16,816
Oh, that's funny.

371
00:15:16,949 --> 00:15:18,440
You're not
a liar too, are you?

372
00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:20,817
I've been known
to bend the truth.

373
00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:22,715
Damn it, Pam. Get out.

374
00:15:22,989 --> 00:15:25,185
Right now. Leave it. I mean it.
Get the hell out of here.

375
00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:26,690
Go!

376
00:15:27,794 --> 00:15:32,129
I can't wait to do to Pam
what I just did to Pam.

377
00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:35,624
Hey, Pam?

378
00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:36,758
Yeah.

379
00:15:36,836 --> 00:15:38,134
You know,
I'm the only one here

380
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:39,603
that you haven't asked
about the new office.

381
00:15:39,839 --> 00:15:42,138
I know, because you're
the reason we're moving.

382
00:15:42,208 --> 00:15:44,473
Yeah, but I'm
still an employee here,

383
00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:47,139
and that part of me is really excited
about the change of scenery.

384
00:15:47,513 --> 00:15:48,913
What's the square
footage in the new place?

385
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:50,640
I think it's
something like...

386
00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:52,343
What's the exact
square footage?

387
00:15:52,418 --> 00:15:53,545
Um...

388
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:54,609
Let me see.

389
00:15:54,687 --> 00:15:55,677
How many
offices are there?

390
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,586
I'll just look at
the one-sheet myself.

391
00:15:57,657 --> 00:15:59,455
Actually, I don't know
what I did with the one-sheet.

392
00:15:59,859 --> 00:16:03,091
You know, that's the problem.
You only have one sheet.

393
00:16:05,264 --> 00:16:06,755
Oh, you're
a funny guy, Pam.

394
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,697
What's the first thing
you guys are gonna do

395
00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:11,600
when you move
into the new office?

396
00:16:11,671 --> 00:16:13,139
I'm gonna walk down the hall,
and I'm gonna say,

397
00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:17,200
"Wow, I can't believe
this is real, but it is."

398
00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:19,578
I can't wait.
Mmm-hmm.

399
00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:23,843
I lied about some
aspects of the building.

400
00:16:23,916 --> 00:16:24,906
It's still on a bike path,
though, right?

401
00:16:25,117 --> 00:16:26,813
There's no building.
It doesn't exist.

402
00:16:26,886 --> 00:16:27,945
What does that mean?

403
00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:30,521
I needed leverage, so I pulled
those pictures off the Internet.

404
00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:32,452
It's just this...

405
00:16:32,525 --> 00:16:34,858
This office administrator
thing, I don't want to...

406
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:37,255
What?

407
00:16:37,763 --> 00:16:40,597
Fail. I don't want to fail.
Again.

408
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:41,656
You didn't fail.

409
00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:43,430
That's what you
said about art school,

410
00:16:43,569 --> 00:16:45,265
and that's what
you said about sales.

411
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:47,371
And you didn't fail
those things either.

412
00:16:48,708 --> 00:16:54,409
Well, I'm not an artist,
and I'm not a salesman.

413
00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:55,641
So, what would you call it?

414
00:16:56,382 --> 00:16:58,851
Hey. Hey, hey, hey.

415
00:17:00,419 --> 00:17:03,082
Michael, the reason I asked you
down here for this chat is

416
00:17:03,155 --> 00:17:04,851
I've been
thinking that your fears

417
00:17:04,991 --> 00:17:06,721
about China are
a bit exaggerated.

418
00:17:06,792 --> 00:17:09,921
Did you know that
China has a new missile

419
00:17:10,096 --> 00:17:13,191
that can sink a U.S. naval
carrier 900 miles off the coast?

420
00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:14,256
We have missiles, too.

421
00:17:14,333 --> 00:17:16,199
Did you also know
that China has secretly

422
00:17:16,335 --> 00:17:18,201
been expanding
its nuclear arsenal?

423
00:17:18,504 --> 00:17:19,528
But what do I know?

424
00:17:19,605 --> 00:17:21,471
I mean, that's just
according to the Pentagon.

425
00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:22,634
Our Pentagon.

426
00:17:27,513 --> 00:17:28,708
I wasn't here.

427
00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:30,043
What?

428
00:17:31,083 --> 00:17:33,780
I wasn't here.
It's a pretty common saying.

429
00:17:33,853 --> 00:17:35,822
You may want to log
it away for future use.

430
00:17:36,155 --> 00:17:37,521
Well, thanks.
Yeah.

431
00:17:39,825 --> 00:17:43,853
China has been loaning us billions
upon billions of dollars.

432
00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:47,059
We are going to be owing them
for the rest of our lives,

433
00:17:47,133 --> 00:17:48,123
and they will control us.

434
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:53,002
Actually, we're in a mild recession
right now, I'll give you that,

435
00:17:53,172 --> 00:17:55,505
but people use China as the
boogeyman for all their problems.

436
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:57,271
In the 1980s, it was Japan.

437
00:17:57,343 --> 00:18:00,507
How then do you
explain that in the past year

438
00:18:00,646 --> 00:18:03,810
manufacturing in
China has risen by 17%,

439
00:18:04,483 --> 00:18:06,918
and in the U.S.
it has only risen by 8%?

440
00:18:06,986 --> 00:18:09,285
Do you really think that manufacturing
is a relevant indicator

441
00:18:09,355 --> 00:18:11,824
of where the world
economy's heading in 2011?

442
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,560
Do you know
the comparative expansion

443
00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:16,162
of, say, the
information sector?

444
00:18:16,228 --> 00:18:18,720
I'd say that's far more
relevant, wouldn't you?

445
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:22,163
Don't...

446
00:18:26,739 --> 00:18:27,729
I...

447
00:18:34,213 --> 00:18:35,841
Hello. Hello.

448
00:18:35,915 --> 00:18:37,941
You're breaking the law.
Impossible. I love the law.

449
00:18:38,084 --> 00:18:39,575
Read article 19.

450
00:18:39,652 --> 00:18:42,417
There are certain standards that you
have to maintain the building at,

451
00:18:42,488 --> 00:18:45,458
and that includes comfortable
temperatures and adequate lighting.

452
00:18:45,524 --> 00:18:48,460
It also means no more cutting
the tampons in two,

453
00:18:48,527 --> 00:18:50,655
and no more tampering
with the toilet paper.

454
00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:55,461
I see I've underestimated you, and
I didn't think that was possible.

455
00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:57,034
Nate.

456
00:18:58,404 --> 00:18:59,497
Re-ply the paper.

457
00:19:00,106 --> 00:19:01,096
I don't think
it goes that way.

458
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:02,401
Re-ply it!

459
00:19:05,244 --> 00:19:06,906
Don't worry about the coffee.
It's on me.

460
00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:07,969
Yeah, I figured that.

461
00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:12,785
Michael, I am so happy that we were
able to have this little chat.

462
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:15,413
Wait.

463
00:19:17,023 --> 00:19:18,082
You forgetting something?

464
00:19:18,524 --> 00:19:19,685
What?
This chat.

465
00:19:21,027 --> 00:19:23,121
Two men.
One white. One Latino.

466
00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:26,597
A boss and a money cruncher.
I could fire you.

467
00:19:26,766 --> 00:19:29,167
Fire him. No.
Show mercy.

468
00:19:29,435 --> 00:19:30,494
But here we are.

469
00:19:30,636 --> 00:19:31,899
What's your point?

470
00:19:32,038 --> 00:19:33,336
My point is

471
00:19:35,474 --> 00:19:41,141
that as long as people like you
and me don't stop talking,

472
00:19:41,247 --> 00:19:43,273
nobody can stop the U.S.A.

473
00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:45,476
Yeah, go, girl.
Right. Yes.

474
00:19:45,551 --> 00:19:49,921
I am talking about freedom,
about choice.

475
00:19:49,989 --> 00:19:51,753
America...

476
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:53,690
I don't think
you need to worry,

477
00:19:53,826 --> 00:19:55,692
because if you want to
beat China, you will.

478
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:57,860
If you don't, that's fine.

479
00:19:58,464 --> 00:20:01,798
That, my friend,
is your victory.

480
00:20:02,301 --> 00:20:05,703
You know,
a lot of people say that

481
00:20:05,771 --> 00:20:07,433
if you dig long
enough and hard enough,

482
00:20:07,506 --> 00:20:09,668
you will get to China,
and that may be true,

483
00:20:10,009 --> 00:20:11,500
but what they
don't tell you is that

484
00:20:11,577 --> 00:20:16,277
if you dig long enough and
hard enough in a conversation,

485
00:20:16,348 --> 00:20:17,680
you get to a friend.

486
00:20:20,086 --> 00:20:22,521
So, here is to conversation.

487
00:20:22,655 --> 00:20:23,645
That's not...

488
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:26,454
Raise your cups
on high.

489
00:20:26,525 --> 00:20:28,460
Case closed.
Yeah!

490
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:33,529
That wasn't what we were...
That wasn't the whole...

491
00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:36,926
They say the best vampires
don't bleed their victims dry,

492
00:20:37,002 --> 00:20:39,267
but give them the strength
so that they can bounce back,

493
00:20:39,338 --> 00:20:40,465
only to be fed on again.

494
00:20:40,973 --> 00:20:43,238
I spared Pam,
and I might feast

495
00:20:43,375 --> 00:20:45,674
off of her profits
for years to come.

496
00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:48,909
I let Pam win.

497
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:53,648
I was not
motivated by compassion.

498
00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:56,222
I have no compassion.

499
00:20:56,288 --> 00:21:01,386
Make sure you got that.
"Not motivated by compassion."

500
00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:13,298
"Come to parking lot.
Crazy pigeon action."

501
00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:20,302
Shh.

502
00:21:20,379 --> 00:21:21,870
You're gonna scare them away.

503
00:21:28,487 --> 00:21:30,422
That's a text.
Yeah, right?

504
00:21:31,157 --> 00:21:32,523
That's your new standard.

505
00:21:33,305 --> 00:21:43,305
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.