1 00:00:01,041 --> 00:00:05,035 Next up, secretary Schrute will read the minutes from Sunday's meeting. 2 00:00:08,115 --> 00:00:10,949 "Minutes from previous meeting, of Knights of the Night." 3 00:00:11,785 --> 00:00:12,809 No! Jim, hey. 4 00:00:12,886 --> 00:00:13,910 Oh. 5 00:00:13,987 --> 00:00:15,512 This meeting is for Knights of the Night only. 6 00:00:15,589 --> 00:00:17,854 Knights of the Night are volunteer crime patrollers. 7 00:00:17,924 --> 00:00:19,415 We're often compared to the Guardian Angels, 8 00:00:19,493 --> 00:00:21,052 but we could not be more different from them. 9 00:00:21,695 --> 00:00:24,995 Seriously, we are nothing like the Guardian Angels. 10 00:00:25,065 --> 00:00:27,660 I mean, broad strokes purposes, sure. 11 00:00:27,734 --> 00:00:28,963 Think Guardian Angels. 12 00:00:29,036 --> 00:00:30,800 One of our many recent good deeds, 13 00:00:30,937 --> 00:00:32,735 we set out to capture the Scranton Strangler. 14 00:00:33,707 --> 00:00:35,505 Mission accomplished. 15 00:00:35,575 --> 00:00:36,907 Not by us. 16 00:00:37,044 --> 00:00:39,479 I'm actually just looking for my BlackBerry, so carry on. 17 00:00:39,546 --> 00:00:41,674 No, no, no, no, no. I see how this movie ends. 18 00:00:41,748 --> 00:00:43,580 You make fun of me, everyone laughs. 19 00:00:43,717 --> 00:00:44,844 Ha, ha, ha. 20 00:00:44,918 --> 00:00:45,908 Screw you. 21 00:00:46,186 --> 00:00:48,917 Dwight, don't be bothered by your friend's presence. 22 00:00:49,723 --> 00:00:50,747 What are you gonna do now? 23 00:00:50,824 --> 00:00:52,884 You gonna make fun of our leader's weird voice, huh? 24 00:00:52,959 --> 00:00:55,554 "Dwight, don't be bothered..." 25 00:00:55,862 --> 00:00:56,921 Over the line, Jim. 26 00:00:57,130 --> 00:00:59,531 I'm just looking for my phone, so pretend I'm not here. 27 00:00:59,599 --> 00:01:02,865 Fine. "Minutes from previous meeting of Knights of the Night." 28 00:01:03,603 --> 00:01:04,662 It's our official name, Jim. 29 00:01:04,805 --> 00:01:05,864 Sounds good. 30 00:01:05,939 --> 00:01:08,568 "Reflective strips were glued to patrol jackets. 31 00:01:08,642 --> 00:01:11,339 "Knights went outside with flashlights to test them." 32 00:01:11,411 --> 00:01:12,504 Smart. 33 00:01:12,579 --> 00:01:14,878 And the rest was just boiler plate stuff, that's... 34 00:01:14,948 --> 00:01:16,314 Go ahead and read it, some people weren't here. 35 00:01:16,383 --> 00:01:17,407 Okay. 36 00:01:17,484 --> 00:01:20,181 Knights stayed outside to play flashlight tag. 37 00:01:20,253 --> 00:01:22,188 Oh, come on. That sounds awesome. 38 00:01:22,556 --> 00:01:23,785 It was pretty cool. Was it? 39 00:01:23,857 --> 00:01:24,984 It was fun. 40 00:01:25,125 --> 00:01:26,286 It was... It was pretty awesome. 41 00:01:30,363 --> 00:01:32,889 Hey, yeah. No, I got it. 42 00:01:33,433 --> 00:01:34,765 Just leaving now. 43 00:01:36,140 --> 00:01:42,214 Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers. 44 00:01:57,023 --> 00:01:59,219 January 3, 2011. 45 00:01:59,526 --> 00:02:01,927 A day which will live infamously. 46 00:02:02,696 --> 00:02:06,224 Holly Partridge Flax, otherwise known as Holly, 47 00:02:06,299 --> 00:02:09,497 otherwise otherwise known as a living, breathing angel, 48 00:02:09,569 --> 00:02:11,401 is engaged to another man. 49 00:02:12,072 --> 00:02:14,064 This is freaking me out. I... 50 00:02:15,342 --> 00:02:17,641 Okay, let's just switch to the happy video, okay? 51 00:02:17,711 --> 00:02:20,010 No, no, no, no. Let's push through. We'll do this. 52 00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:22,174 Today will either be the best or the worst day of my life. 53 00:02:23,517 --> 00:02:25,042 Holly gave A.J. an ultimatum. 54 00:02:25,118 --> 00:02:27,610 He either proposes by New Year's or they break up. 55 00:02:27,687 --> 00:02:29,679 Now if she's engaged, I'm gonna go crazy. 56 00:02:29,823 --> 00:02:31,849 And I'm gonna start attacking people. 57 00:02:31,925 --> 00:02:34,258 If she's not engaged, in all honesty, 58 00:02:34,327 --> 00:02:35,386 I may just burn this whole place 59 00:02:35,529 --> 00:02:36,622 to the ground out of happiness. 60 00:02:36,696 --> 00:02:40,098 Either way, I am going to need some talking down. 61 00:02:40,167 --> 00:02:43,626 And nobody talks me down like myself in a video talking me down. 62 00:02:43,870 --> 00:02:45,463 Michael, I know what you're thinking. 63 00:02:45,539 --> 00:02:47,838 Holly is engaged to somebody else and you want to kill yourself. 64 00:02:47,908 --> 00:02:49,934 That may seem like a good idea, but it's not. 65 00:02:51,211 --> 00:02:52,201 Snot. 66 00:02:53,046 --> 00:02:55,880 Sorry, it sounded like you said, "It's snot." I'm so sorry. 67 00:02:56,249 --> 00:02:58,343 Okay, so killing yourself... 68 00:03:00,487 --> 00:03:01,978 I was just thinking about snot. 69 00:03:05,892 --> 00:03:06,985 Good morning. 70 00:03:07,060 --> 00:03:08,926 Hey, guys. Uh, fun thing. 71 00:03:08,995 --> 00:03:11,624 The index cards on your desk are resolution cards. 72 00:03:11,965 --> 00:03:13,627 You write your New Year's resolution on them, 73 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:17,368 I'll collect them, and then display the cards on... 74 00:03:20,106 --> 00:03:22,041 This. Resolution board. 75 00:03:22,576 --> 00:03:24,272 Wow, did your baby draw that? 76 00:03:24,878 --> 00:03:26,506 The glitter is blinding. 77 00:03:27,180 --> 00:03:29,115 I think it's good. It's gonna be fun. 78 00:03:29,549 --> 00:03:30,710 I recently met Sue, 79 00:03:31,151 --> 00:03:33,711 the office administrator at Vance Refrigeration. 80 00:03:33,787 --> 00:03:36,450 She has this awesome wall full of fun initiatives 81 00:03:36,523 --> 00:03:38,219 and morale boosters and stuff. 82 00:03:38,391 --> 00:03:41,225 Sue just goes for it. She's awesome. 83 00:03:41,995 --> 00:03:44,430 I know Sue, she's not that great. 84 00:03:44,598 --> 00:03:47,124 And you know her husband's in a wheelchair, right? 85 00:03:47,300 --> 00:03:49,269 Okay, champagne. Happy. 86 00:03:51,238 --> 00:03:52,331 Sponge. Sad. 87 00:03:52,472 --> 00:03:53,565 To soak up my tears. 88 00:03:55,475 --> 00:03:57,273 Gummy bears and gummy worms. 89 00:03:57,577 --> 00:03:59,546 Bears sad, worms happy. Come on, Erin. 90 00:04:01,248 --> 00:04:02,409 Ukuleles. Happy? 91 00:04:02,549 --> 00:04:03,744 Sad. Something to break. 92 00:04:06,186 --> 00:04:07,711 Chocolates. For you, job well done. 93 00:04:08,188 --> 00:04:09,520 Thank you. 94 00:04:09,956 --> 00:04:11,288 And two bottles of scotch. 95 00:04:11,358 --> 00:04:12,417 Both sad. 96 00:04:13,293 --> 00:04:14,625 And did you get the tickets? 97 00:04:14,694 --> 00:04:16,720 I did, I did indeed. 98 00:04:16,796 --> 00:04:19,630 Two front row center to Paula Poundstone, live in Poughkeepsie. 99 00:04:19,699 --> 00:04:20,928 Holly's favorite. 100 00:04:21,067 --> 00:04:22,831 I hope she doesn't call us up on stage, that would suck. 101 00:04:23,670 --> 00:04:26,265 "Hey, you think you could do my job better?"I don't know." 102 00:04:26,339 --> 00:04:28,331 "What's your name?"Michael." 103 00:04:29,843 --> 00:04:31,937 I'm really excited for Michael either way. 104 00:04:32,012 --> 00:04:36,575 Because if Holly chooses to be with him, he will be so, so happy. 105 00:04:36,783 --> 00:04:40,618 And if not, he'll be avoiding the biggest mistake of his life. 106 00:04:41,621 --> 00:04:43,487 Oh, hey, guys. I'd like to introduce you 107 00:04:43,623 --> 00:04:45,524 to a new little friend of mine. 108 00:04:45,625 --> 00:04:47,753 His name is New Year's Resolution Board. 109 00:04:47,994 --> 00:04:51,396 Shut up. Hello. 110 00:04:51,998 --> 00:04:53,489 What happened? Is there a ring? 111 00:04:53,566 --> 00:04:55,558 So, high five me. We're back. 112 00:04:55,635 --> 00:04:56,728 To a happy... 113 00:04:57,504 --> 00:05:00,133 Woo! Look at those. Mittens. Those a present? 114 00:05:00,206 --> 00:05:01,674 Come on. They're warm. 115 00:05:01,741 --> 00:05:03,642 Those are so fuzzy and warm. 116 00:05:04,044 --> 00:05:05,535 Let me feel those. Let me feel that. 117 00:05:05,946 --> 00:05:07,380 Put her there. Give me a good firm one. 118 00:05:07,447 --> 00:05:08,471 Ooh, that's a good, firm handshake. 119 00:05:08,615 --> 00:05:09,674 You're hired. 120 00:05:09,783 --> 00:05:12,378 Yes, well let's get right into the Anderson account, shall we? 121 00:05:12,452 --> 00:05:14,182 Okay. Yes, yes, right away. 122 00:05:14,254 --> 00:05:15,950 Yes, yes. Right away. 123 00:05:16,022 --> 00:05:17,081 Okay. 124 00:05:17,157 --> 00:05:19,626 Hey, hey, hey. Want me to crank the thermostat to 90? 125 00:05:19,693 --> 00:05:21,628 Smoke her out? She can't keep those mittens on forever. 126 00:05:21,695 --> 00:05:23,994 Yes. No, what? Stop. Yes. 127 00:05:28,134 --> 00:05:29,227 Congrat... 128 00:05:29,369 --> 00:05:30,496 Wow. Oh. 129 00:05:30,570 --> 00:05:32,869 Oh, my God. That's it, that's it. 130 00:05:34,307 --> 00:05:37,334 Oh, I get it. Everybody knows about the ultimatum. 131 00:05:37,410 --> 00:05:38,742 Yes, I told everyone. 132 00:05:39,312 --> 00:05:41,076 Ha, ha! 133 00:05:41,147 --> 00:05:44,379 Hey, right back at you, bitch. 134 00:05:45,919 --> 00:05:48,184 Happy, happy, happy, happy! 135 00:05:53,193 --> 00:05:54,923 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 136 00:05:54,995 --> 00:05:57,624 Okay, calm down! Breathe. 137 00:05:57,697 --> 00:05:58,790 I'm trying. 138 00:05:58,865 --> 00:06:00,163 I said breathe. 139 00:06:00,233 --> 00:06:01,326 I'm trying. 140 00:06:01,401 --> 00:06:03,996 Wait a second. Are you listening to music? 141 00:06:04,070 --> 00:06:05,094 What? 142 00:06:05,171 --> 00:06:06,571 Shut that off. 143 00:06:06,639 --> 00:06:08,369 I'm not listening to the music. 144 00:06:08,441 --> 00:06:10,706 Fine, just go crazy for a little while. 145 00:06:13,279 --> 00:06:15,214 Looking good. You're looking good. 146 00:06:18,251 --> 00:06:20,117 I gotcha, I gotcha! 147 00:06:20,787 --> 00:06:22,255 I'm pulling you back! 148 00:06:23,723 --> 00:06:25,419 Michael dance-off! 149 00:06:26,693 --> 00:06:27,752 That's nice. That's nice. 150 00:06:27,827 --> 00:06:28,886 Go! 151 00:06:29,029 --> 00:06:30,088 Me, okay! 152 00:06:30,163 --> 00:06:31,722 Go! Oh, yeah! 153 00:06:31,798 --> 00:06:33,426 Nice! We're gonna calm down later. 154 00:06:33,900 --> 00:06:35,027 I'm doing it. Oh, yeah! 155 00:06:35,101 --> 00:06:38,538 Oh, yeah! Right there, right there! 156 00:06:38,605 --> 00:06:40,096 Oh, yeah! 157 00:06:43,543 --> 00:06:45,205 Hey, Dwight. I'm collecting resolution cards. 158 00:06:45,278 --> 00:06:46,268 Not doing that. 159 00:06:46,346 --> 00:06:47,336 Why not? 160 00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:50,109 I've achieved plenty, and there's no better than the best. 161 00:06:50,183 --> 00:06:51,276 Drink less caffeine. 162 00:06:51,351 --> 00:06:53,377 That's a good one, Pam. Here's mine. 163 00:06:55,221 --> 00:06:56,484 "Learn to cook for one." 164 00:06:56,556 --> 00:06:58,218 Yeah, I love cooking. 165 00:06:58,291 --> 00:07:01,022 But I always find myself throwing out half the food that I prepare. 166 00:07:01,094 --> 00:07:04,121 So I figured it's time to just start preparing the right amount of food 167 00:07:04,197 --> 00:07:06,564 for the right number of people, which is one. 168 00:07:06,766 --> 00:07:07,825 Well, maybe you'll meet someone. 169 00:07:08,101 --> 00:07:10,070 No, some people just don't meet someone. 170 00:07:10,136 --> 00:07:12,071 I'm fine with it. Really. 171 00:07:12,138 --> 00:07:13,606 This is not a pity party. 172 00:07:13,673 --> 00:07:15,642 It's not a party at all. It's just sad. 173 00:07:17,110 --> 00:07:18,442 Angela. Yes. 174 00:07:19,279 --> 00:07:21,009 "Make time for romance." 175 00:07:21,414 --> 00:07:23,349 Who's the senator? My boyfriend. 176 00:07:24,084 --> 00:07:25,211 Oh, you mean the state senator. 177 00:07:25,618 --> 00:07:28,611 I'm sorry, I was confused 'cause you accidentally wrote "The senator." 178 00:07:29,289 --> 00:07:31,190 Wait, wait, wait. It's that easy? 179 00:07:31,558 --> 00:07:33,959 That's not a resolution. That's just something I wanna do. 180 00:07:34,027 --> 00:07:36,292 Okay, fine. I can do that. 181 00:07:41,534 --> 00:07:43,799 My resolution is "Meet a loose woman." 182 00:07:43,870 --> 00:07:44,894 Oh, God. 183 00:07:46,072 --> 00:07:47,096 That's a good one. Yeah? 184 00:07:47,173 --> 00:07:48,368 You know what? That's my new one. 185 00:07:48,441 --> 00:07:49,568 I'm taking that one, too. 186 00:07:49,709 --> 00:07:50,870 Awesome. 187 00:07:50,944 --> 00:07:52,640 You know what you guys should do? 188 00:07:52,712 --> 00:07:53,941 Go to the book store at lunch. 189 00:07:54,547 --> 00:07:56,846 There's tons of cuties and it's easy to talk to them. 190 00:07:57,350 --> 00:07:58,909 "Hey, what book is that?" 191 00:07:58,985 --> 00:08:00,510 "Cool, let's hang out tonight." 192 00:08:00,587 --> 00:08:01,919 "Sex already? Whoa." 193 00:08:02,555 --> 00:08:04,183 The book store? It's that easy? 194 00:08:04,257 --> 00:08:05,520 I'll come with you, show you how it's done. 195 00:08:05,592 --> 00:08:06,821 Okay. I'll drive. 196 00:08:06,893 --> 00:08:08,862 My resolution is to read more. 197 00:08:08,928 --> 00:08:10,988 And if someone else is driving me to the book store, 198 00:08:11,064 --> 00:08:13,659 I can eat my PB and J in the car. 199 00:08:14,300 --> 00:08:17,236 2011 is coming up all Darryl. 200 00:08:18,738 --> 00:08:21,606 Hello. Somebody's got a new phone. 201 00:08:21,674 --> 00:08:23,302 Yeah. That is neat. 202 00:08:23,376 --> 00:08:26,005 I got it for Christmas. I'm so out of my league here. 203 00:08:26,346 --> 00:08:28,474 E.T. phone Holly. 204 00:08:28,848 --> 00:08:30,214 Holly like phone? 205 00:08:30,450 --> 00:08:33,181 Holly misses old phone. 206 00:08:33,253 --> 00:08:34,312 Why? 207 00:08:34,387 --> 00:08:37,846 New phone is confusing, gets bad reception. 208 00:08:37,991 --> 00:08:39,152 Oh, bummer. 209 00:08:39,292 --> 00:08:40,487 Bummer. 210 00:08:40,560 --> 00:08:41,789 Reese's pieces. 211 00:08:41,928 --> 00:08:43,157 Reese's pieces? 212 00:08:43,229 --> 00:08:44,595 Oh, God. Please stop. 213 00:08:45,565 --> 00:08:48,729 I still have my old phone. This thing, indestructible. 214 00:08:53,873 --> 00:08:55,171 Oh, I should get this. 215 00:08:57,143 --> 00:08:58,202 Hey. 216 00:08:59,212 --> 00:09:01,977 No. Don't go see that one. I want to see that together. 217 00:09:02,482 --> 00:09:04,178 Yeah, go see that action one. 218 00:09:05,118 --> 00:09:06,211 Okay. 219 00:09:06,819 --> 00:09:08,412 I love you, too. 220 00:09:10,657 --> 00:09:11,989 All right. 221 00:09:14,627 --> 00:09:16,789 Holly doesn't seem to be engaged, 222 00:09:16,930 --> 00:09:19,126 but she's talking to A.J. like she is. 223 00:09:19,199 --> 00:09:20,428 I can't figure it out. 224 00:09:20,934 --> 00:09:22,835 Do you think she's already dating a different A.J.? 225 00:09:23,136 --> 00:09:24,229 I don't think so. 226 00:09:24,304 --> 00:09:26,864 When you broke it off with Roy did you still tell him you loved him? 227 00:09:27,607 --> 00:09:29,200 No. But you did still love him. 228 00:09:29,275 --> 00:09:30,766 I'm not gonna have... Do you love him now? 229 00:09:30,843 --> 00:09:32,175 No! 230 00:09:32,645 --> 00:09:33,704 Just talk to her. 231 00:09:33,780 --> 00:09:35,180 No, she'd just resent me. 232 00:09:35,248 --> 00:09:37,513 Or worse, she would think of me as her friend. 233 00:09:37,584 --> 00:09:39,314 "Oh, hi, friend." 234 00:09:39,619 --> 00:09:40,951 I'll talk to her, Michael. 235 00:09:41,020 --> 00:09:42,215 You think she'd talk to you? 236 00:09:42,288 --> 00:09:43,347 Why wouldn't she? 237 00:09:43,423 --> 00:09:45,654 That's true, she's really nice. She'd talk to anybody. 238 00:09:47,327 --> 00:09:48,989 Why don't you bring Erin to balance you out? 239 00:09:49,963 --> 00:09:51,090 There's a plan. 240 00:09:52,532 --> 00:09:54,398 All right, we should divide up by section. 241 00:09:54,534 --> 00:09:56,435 I will take Romance and Travel. 242 00:09:56,502 --> 00:09:58,266 I'll take the entirety of the second floor. 243 00:09:58,404 --> 00:10:00,270 I got that cutie behind the counter. 244 00:10:06,479 --> 00:10:09,142 Well, if you read a lot you should check out our e-readers. 245 00:10:09,215 --> 00:10:10,706 They're really neat. 246 00:10:10,850 --> 00:10:12,341 Oh, I work at a paper company. 247 00:10:12,452 --> 00:10:14,114 Those things terrify me. 248 00:10:14,187 --> 00:10:16,019 They could put us out of business, you know? 249 00:10:16,089 --> 00:10:17,717 Heard those machines hold, like, 10 books at once. 250 00:10:17,957 --> 00:10:19,357 Actually, it's 10,000. 251 00:10:19,592 --> 00:10:21,026 Holy. What? 252 00:10:21,261 --> 00:10:22,695 Let me see that. 253 00:10:23,062 --> 00:10:25,588 So light. Like a croissant. 254 00:10:26,132 --> 00:10:27,327 Hi. Hi. 255 00:10:27,834 --> 00:10:29,029 Welcome. 256 00:10:29,535 --> 00:10:30,662 Let us know if you need anything. 257 00:10:31,271 --> 00:10:32,432 Thanks. 258 00:10:34,073 --> 00:10:35,632 Why did we pretend like we work here? 259 00:10:35,975 --> 00:10:37,068 Is that what we were doing? 260 00:10:37,210 --> 00:10:38,337 I don't know... 261 00:10:38,645 --> 00:10:39,635 Hey, how'd you do? 262 00:10:39,712 --> 00:10:41,738 Good. Yeah. Good, real good. Yeah. 263 00:10:41,814 --> 00:10:43,407 I think we kind of nailed it. Yeah, pretty much. 264 00:10:43,483 --> 00:10:45,884 But, you know, this place is kind of tapped out, so let's roll. 265 00:10:46,319 --> 00:10:47,617 Cool. Okay. 266 00:10:47,687 --> 00:10:48,882 What'd you get? 267 00:10:49,022 --> 00:10:50,217 A book about oceans. 268 00:10:50,290 --> 00:10:51,485 Oh, really? What else? Let me see. 269 00:10:51,557 --> 00:10:53,150 That's porn. 270 00:10:53,793 --> 00:10:56,228 Pornography. Old lady. Nasty porn. 271 00:10:59,799 --> 00:11:01,324 Follow my lead. 272 00:11:01,401 --> 00:11:02,494 Hey, want some company? 273 00:11:02,635 --> 00:11:03,728 Want some company? 274 00:11:03,936 --> 00:11:05,268 Oh, sure. Have a seat. 275 00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:08,367 How were your breaks? 276 00:11:08,441 --> 00:11:09,909 Oh, really good. I went to Portugal. 277 00:11:09,976 --> 00:11:11,000 I went to Portugal. 278 00:11:11,110 --> 00:11:12,976 Oh, wow. You went together? 279 00:11:13,579 --> 00:11:14,672 No. No. 280 00:11:15,415 --> 00:11:17,941 So, I just gotta know. What's going on with you and A.J.? 281 00:11:18,217 --> 00:11:19,241 Nothing really happened. 282 00:11:19,585 --> 00:11:21,213 I mean, I know I made a big deal 283 00:11:21,354 --> 00:11:22,982 about this whole New Year's deadline, 284 00:11:23,056 --> 00:11:25,355 but, it came and went and we're still together. 285 00:11:25,658 --> 00:11:26,819 You didn't break up with A.J. at all? 286 00:11:26,893 --> 00:11:29,158 I mean, not even for a week to make him buy you a present? 287 00:11:29,228 --> 00:11:32,357 It just wasn't fair of me to give him an ultimatum in the first place. 288 00:11:32,432 --> 00:11:34,458 The whole thing is totally my fault. 289 00:11:34,534 --> 00:11:37,197 But we're gonna be just fine. Just fine. 290 00:11:37,270 --> 00:11:38,294 Hmm. 291 00:11:44,677 --> 00:11:46,145 Whoa! Hold on. 292 00:11:46,212 --> 00:11:48,374 I am not going back until I fulfill my resolution. 293 00:11:48,448 --> 00:11:50,178 Oh, no, no, no. Uh-uh. 294 00:11:50,850 --> 00:11:52,409 Come on, why not? 295 00:11:53,052 --> 00:11:54,111 I've never been in one before. 296 00:11:54,187 --> 00:11:56,588 I'm tired of being Mr. Perfect Role Model all the time. 297 00:11:57,023 --> 00:11:58,150 I'm telling you, don't do it. 298 00:11:58,791 --> 00:12:00,316 I got nothing against strip clubs, 299 00:12:00,393 --> 00:12:03,386 but I do have something against them at noon on a Monday. 300 00:12:03,629 --> 00:12:05,598 The day shift at a strip club? 301 00:12:06,199 --> 00:12:07,565 You can't un-see that. 302 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:10,031 Well, we can't just go back. I mean, we came out to meet women. 303 00:12:10,336 --> 00:12:12,396 Hey, there's a roller rink across the street. 304 00:12:12,638 --> 00:12:13,697 There's always chicks at the rink. 305 00:12:14,841 --> 00:12:16,002 What kind of chicks are you gonna meet there? 306 00:12:16,075 --> 00:12:18,271 I don't know. Single moms at a skating party? 307 00:12:19,178 --> 00:12:21,545 Sweet 16, 10-year reunion parties. 308 00:12:21,614 --> 00:12:23,583 Chicks fall down, need help getting back up. 309 00:12:23,649 --> 00:12:25,584 Roller derby practice. 310 00:12:27,553 --> 00:12:28,577 We're going skating. 311 00:12:40,333 --> 00:12:41,596 The goal of this meeting is to get 312 00:12:41,667 --> 00:12:43,499 everybody excited about their resolutions. 313 00:12:44,737 --> 00:12:46,729 Who's been good about their resolution so far? 314 00:12:48,241 --> 00:12:49,470 Erin, tell us about it. 315 00:12:49,542 --> 00:12:52,808 Well, my goal was to learn a new word every single day. 316 00:12:52,945 --> 00:12:56,040 And I must say that it is going immensely. 317 00:12:56,349 --> 00:12:57,544 Cool. 318 00:12:57,617 --> 00:13:01,315 Here's a little "way to go" gift from Sabre. 319 00:13:01,988 --> 00:13:03,286 Intercepted. Hey... Gabe. 320 00:13:03,356 --> 00:13:04,380 Oops-e-doops. 321 00:13:04,457 --> 00:13:07,154 Creed, I notice you don't have a resolution on the board. 322 00:13:07,226 --> 00:13:08,387 What's yours? 323 00:13:08,461 --> 00:13:09,724 I want to do a cartwheel. 324 00:13:09,796 --> 00:13:11,059 But real casual, like. 325 00:13:11,130 --> 00:13:12,996 Not make a big deal out of it. 326 00:13:13,065 --> 00:13:16,797 But I know everybody saw it, just one stunning, gorgeous cartwheel. 327 00:13:16,869 --> 00:13:17,962 How's it going? 328 00:13:18,037 --> 00:13:20,006 I'm having a little trouble motivating. 329 00:13:20,072 --> 00:13:23,509 One of the hardest parts about making resolutions is keeping them. 330 00:13:23,876 --> 00:13:26,903 In fact, most resolutions are abandoned by February. 331 00:13:27,113 --> 00:13:28,706 Or sooner. Yeah. 332 00:13:28,781 --> 00:13:30,647 It's not a joke. But that's okay. 333 00:13:30,750 --> 00:13:33,185 Because it's not about being perfect, it's about trying. 334 00:13:33,653 --> 00:13:36,384 In fact, why don't we go around and confess some of the ways 335 00:13:36,456 --> 00:13:38,118 that we've already fudged on our resolutions? 336 00:13:38,291 --> 00:13:42,524 Well, I said that I would eat more vegetables, and I haven't yet. 337 00:13:42,595 --> 00:13:44,723 But it's okay. I still have time. 338 00:13:44,797 --> 00:13:46,663 Since last year I ate none. 339 00:13:46,833 --> 00:13:50,668 Okay, well, my confession is that today I had a sip of coffee. 340 00:13:50,770 --> 00:13:52,136 But that's fine. Is it? 341 00:13:52,205 --> 00:13:55,039 Yes, because with all of your support, 342 00:13:55,107 --> 00:13:59,010 by this time next year maybe I'll be down to one glass of iced tea a week. 343 00:13:59,078 --> 00:14:01,570 Next year? Come on. I mean, what is the point? 344 00:14:01,647 --> 00:14:02,910 What is the point of that? 345 00:14:03,082 --> 00:14:05,677 I made a resolution to floss. And I did it. 346 00:14:06,018 --> 00:14:07,486 12:01, January 1st. 347 00:14:07,787 --> 00:14:09,050 Bam! Blood everywhere. 348 00:14:09,388 --> 00:14:11,380 Not all of us are Michael "Freaking" Scott. 349 00:14:11,457 --> 00:14:14,052 What is wrong with you people? Can't you stick to anything? 350 00:14:14,727 --> 00:14:17,561 Erin, I want you to go to the kitchen and get me some vegetables. 351 00:14:18,130 --> 00:14:20,725 Creed, you say you want to do a cartwheel? Nothing's stopping you. 352 00:14:20,967 --> 00:14:22,663 Come on, old man. Do a cartwheel! 353 00:14:22,735 --> 00:14:24,067 Well, I can't. I don't know how. 354 00:14:24,136 --> 00:14:26,605 You're just going to somersault around for the rest of your life. 355 00:14:26,672 --> 00:14:29,198 And you know what's gonna be on your tombstone? "Loser." 356 00:14:29,542 --> 00:14:31,010 My tombstone's already made, thank you. 357 00:14:31,077 --> 00:14:32,238 Just do a cartwheel! 358 00:14:32,378 --> 00:14:33,573 This is all I could find. 359 00:14:35,748 --> 00:14:36,772 Eat it. 360 00:14:37,250 --> 00:14:38,878 You don't have to do that, Kevin. 361 00:14:38,951 --> 00:14:40,817 Oh, no. I'm glad this is happening. 362 00:14:41,487 --> 00:14:43,046 Thank you, Michael. 363 00:14:43,356 --> 00:14:44,722 Why are you eating stem first? 364 00:14:44,857 --> 00:14:47,452 This is a new food for me. How else should I eat it? 365 00:14:48,194 --> 00:14:49,526 The other way. 366 00:14:51,430 --> 00:14:54,093 Can I get some Cheez Whiz? Or Hollandaise? 367 00:14:54,166 --> 00:14:55,794 No, no. No Cheez Whiz, no Hollandaise, 368 00:14:55,935 --> 00:14:57,528 no chocolate sauce, just eat it. 369 00:14:57,603 --> 00:14:59,299 Come on, here comes the airplane. There you go. 370 00:14:59,372 --> 00:15:01,534 Open, open, into the hangar, there you go. 371 00:15:01,607 --> 00:15:03,269 Oh, Michael. Yeah, eat it. 372 00:15:04,010 --> 00:15:05,137 Put it in your mouth, and just eat it. 373 00:15:05,278 --> 00:15:06,405 God, I hate it. 374 00:15:06,479 --> 00:15:08,107 I don't care whether you hate it, you said you'd do it! 375 00:15:08,180 --> 00:15:09,170 Michael, Michael. All right. 376 00:15:09,248 --> 00:15:11,217 Eat it, eat it! Oh, my God. 377 00:15:11,284 --> 00:15:12,445 You're killing him, Michael. 378 00:15:12,718 --> 00:15:14,687 All right, all right, all right! Shh! Michael! 379 00:15:15,388 --> 00:15:18,017 Okay, I ate the fluffy part. Can I be done? 380 00:15:18,357 --> 00:15:20,155 Let me see if you swallowed it. Open your mouth. 381 00:15:21,427 --> 00:15:23,623 Under your tongue. Oh, God! 382 00:15:24,697 --> 00:15:26,791 You guys are pathetic. 383 00:15:31,637 --> 00:15:32,900 Can I get some candy or something? 384 00:15:32,972 --> 00:15:34,941 No, you can't have any candy! I'll get him water. 385 00:15:35,074 --> 00:15:36,565 Okay, Michael. Just settle down. 386 00:15:37,410 --> 00:15:38,503 Um... 387 00:15:42,114 --> 00:15:43,207 Oh, God! 388 00:15:46,686 --> 00:15:48,621 Holly Flax. 389 00:15:48,688 --> 00:15:50,020 Yes, Michael? 390 00:15:50,089 --> 00:15:52,388 Not Michael, E.T. 391 00:15:52,491 --> 00:15:53,823 What's up? 392 00:15:55,361 --> 00:15:57,626 Well, I just want to talk about what happened in there. 393 00:15:58,097 --> 00:16:00,396 Oh, no, Michael. I don't want to talk about it with you. 394 00:16:00,466 --> 00:16:03,095 And I'm fine, I just... I don't want to talk about it. 395 00:16:03,169 --> 00:16:04,262 Okay. 396 00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:36,159 Holly, come on in. Thanks for coming. 397 00:16:36,235 --> 00:16:39,535 I thought there should be an HR rep here for this. 398 00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:43,066 So Kevin and Creed, 399 00:16:43,142 --> 00:16:44,974 things got a little bit intense in the conference room. 400 00:16:45,044 --> 00:16:46,171 You think? 401 00:16:46,312 --> 00:16:47,473 And I wanted to apologize. 402 00:16:47,546 --> 00:16:49,742 These resolutions should be about you, 403 00:16:49,815 --> 00:16:51,909 and I made it about me. 404 00:16:51,984 --> 00:16:53,179 And it was none of my beeswax. 405 00:16:53,252 --> 00:16:54,379 You were super mean. 406 00:16:54,654 --> 00:16:56,350 It was insensitive and I am sorry. 407 00:16:56,689 --> 00:16:58,885 It was traumatizing, Michael. 408 00:16:58,958 --> 00:17:02,122 I wouldn't be surprised if I never ate a vegetable again. 409 00:17:02,461 --> 00:17:06,728 I really wanted you to follow through on your resolutions. 410 00:17:07,033 --> 00:17:08,661 The cartwheel, the veggies. 411 00:17:08,934 --> 00:17:12,530 I... I care about you. Very much. 412 00:17:13,506 --> 00:17:16,374 And you loom so large in my heart 413 00:17:16,842 --> 00:17:18,811 that I crossed the line. 414 00:17:19,812 --> 00:17:21,838 Okay, Michael, no offense. 415 00:17:22,214 --> 00:17:24,274 But you need to get your own life. 416 00:17:24,550 --> 00:17:26,018 You're right. 417 00:17:26,519 --> 00:17:30,354 And I hope that we can still be friends. 418 00:17:30,890 --> 00:17:33,325 I don't think I'm there yet, boss. 419 00:17:34,126 --> 00:17:35,754 Well, I am. Okay. 420 00:17:37,196 --> 00:17:38,255 All right. 421 00:17:38,330 --> 00:17:39,628 I'm gonna help you. 422 00:17:39,765 --> 00:17:41,097 Okay, okay. 423 00:17:44,603 --> 00:17:47,835 Hey, it's just you. Anything you want to hear? 424 00:17:48,974 --> 00:17:50,067 Um... 425 00:17:50,810 --> 00:17:52,711 Dave Matthews Band. 426 00:17:52,778 --> 00:17:54,337 No hits, deep tracks only. 427 00:17:54,747 --> 00:17:55,840 Okay. 428 00:17:56,082 --> 00:17:58,551 I said, no hits. 429 00:18:10,863 --> 00:18:14,129 I just feel blocked. I feel like I'm living... 430 00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:15,566 Hey, Ryan. Yeah. 431 00:18:15,634 --> 00:18:17,694 How's your fart project coming? 432 00:18:17,770 --> 00:18:19,204 That's real, real classy, Kevin. 433 00:18:19,271 --> 00:18:20,637 Hey, was it me or you that just shoved 434 00:18:20,773 --> 00:18:22,173 the butt end of a pound of broccoli 435 00:18:22,241 --> 00:18:24,233 into my mouth because Michael told me to? 436 00:18:24,343 --> 00:18:25,402 Me. 437 00:18:25,544 --> 00:18:26,603 Kevin, don't. 438 00:18:28,247 --> 00:18:29,613 Come on. 439 00:18:29,749 --> 00:18:31,149 Oh, Pam? Soda. Caffeine. 440 00:18:31,917 --> 00:18:34,477 Yeah, just a little. I have a lot to deal with today. 441 00:18:34,553 --> 00:18:36,419 Well, if you don't have to do them... 442 00:18:37,089 --> 00:18:38,819 Meredith, what are you doing? I could be pregnant. 443 00:18:38,891 --> 00:18:40,018 Okay, no. 444 00:18:40,292 --> 00:18:42,693 Oh, my resolution was to get more attention. 445 00:18:42,762 --> 00:18:43,991 Nope, she's lying. 446 00:18:44,063 --> 00:18:45,759 Hey, Ryan. 447 00:18:49,201 --> 00:18:51,170 One, two, three. 448 00:18:52,972 --> 00:18:54,270 I did it. I did a cartwheel. 449 00:18:54,406 --> 00:18:55,840 You! 450 00:18:55,908 --> 00:18:56,932 Oh, God! 451 00:18:57,009 --> 00:18:57,999 Okay, that's it. 452 00:18:58,077 --> 00:18:59,067 God! 453 00:19:06,418 --> 00:19:07,943 Lesson learned. 454 00:19:11,190 --> 00:19:12,590 What's up? 455 00:19:12,725 --> 00:19:14,159 Hey, where'd you go? 456 00:19:14,393 --> 00:19:16,362 To the arcade. Oh, cool. 457 00:19:17,062 --> 00:19:18,360 Why, did you meet someone? 458 00:19:18,430 --> 00:19:19,830 Yeah. I did, actually. 459 00:19:20,699 --> 00:19:21,997 His name is Andy. 460 00:19:22,067 --> 00:19:24,502 And he roller skates like a Greek God. And you know what? 461 00:19:24,570 --> 00:19:26,664 I kind of like hanging out with him. 462 00:19:26,739 --> 00:19:28,332 Right on, son. 463 00:19:29,508 --> 00:19:30,976 Gentlemen. 464 00:19:31,043 --> 00:19:32,944 And where did you go? 465 00:19:33,012 --> 00:19:34,139 Strip club. 466 00:19:34,213 --> 00:19:36,705 I was looking at the strippers at the strip club. 467 00:19:37,049 --> 00:19:38,984 Right. So that's it, guys? 468 00:19:39,151 --> 00:19:41,017 If you want I can put on the strobe. 469 00:19:45,658 --> 00:19:47,126 Yeah! 470 00:20:01,507 --> 00:20:02,566 Do you want to keep this? 471 00:20:02,708 --> 00:20:03,767 No. 472 00:20:05,010 --> 00:20:06,069 Do you want to keep this? 473 00:20:06,212 --> 00:20:07,305 Yeah. 474 00:20:09,515 --> 00:20:10,710 Do you wanna keep this? 475 00:20:10,850 --> 00:20:12,045 No, you can toss them. 476 00:20:14,687 --> 00:20:18,021 My resolution? I never want to make Holly cry again. 477 00:20:18,891 --> 00:20:21,383 Unless it's from laughing too hard. 478 00:20:22,194 --> 00:20:24,493 Or making love too beautifully. 479 00:20:28,701 --> 00:20:30,636 We're gonna be just fine. 480 00:20:33,305 --> 00:20:35,035 You know how you say something over and over 481 00:20:35,107 --> 00:20:37,599 and the words start to sound weird? 482 00:20:37,843 --> 00:20:39,573 Going to be just fine. 483 00:20:39,645 --> 00:20:42,911 Just fine, just fine, just fine. 484 00:20:44,583 --> 00:20:47,576 I just think we need to cool things down for a while. 485 00:20:48,921 --> 00:20:50,617 Yeah, a break. 486 00:20:51,290 --> 00:20:53,486 At least until I get back to Nashua. 487 00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:56,085 Yeah, I'm sure. 488 00:20:58,831 --> 00:21:01,960 Look at where you're going to be doing the cartwheel. 489 00:21:02,034 --> 00:21:03,593 So look where you're going to be placing your hand. 490 00:21:03,669 --> 00:21:05,194 So pick a spot. Mmm-hmm. 491 00:21:05,638 --> 00:21:07,004 You ready to do this? Yes, sir. 492 00:21:07,072 --> 00:21:09,132 You know what? I'm gonna stay here as long as it takes. 493 00:21:09,208 --> 00:21:10,767 I really appreciate it. I'm gonna spot you. 494 00:21:10,843 --> 00:21:12,141 Spot you. 495 00:21:12,912 --> 00:21:13,971 Go. 496 00:21:15,648 --> 00:21:16,877 I did it! 497 00:21:17,650 --> 00:21:18,640 You did? 498 00:21:18,717 --> 00:21:19,707 A perfect cartwheel. 499 00:21:20,853 --> 00:21:21,946 Okay, good! 500 00:21:22,354 --> 00:21:24,516 What a rush! That's all I had to do all year. 501 00:21:24,590 --> 00:21:26,218 Congratulations. 502 00:21:26,625 --> 00:21:29,561 All right. Well, all right, see you tomorrow. 503 00:21:30,445 --> 00:21:40,445 Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.