1
00:00:03,517 --> 00:00:05,452
Hey, how you doing?

2
00:00:05,719 --> 00:00:07,312
Been thinking about
my grandmother a lot.

3
00:00:07,821 --> 00:00:10,518
Yeah.
She was about to turn 97.

4
00:00:10,924 --> 00:00:13,792
At least she lived a very long,
and I'm sure, a very happy life.

5
00:00:14,061 --> 00:00:15,222
Mmm.

6
00:00:15,295 --> 00:00:16,695
Got you this card.

7
00:00:16,763 --> 00:00:17,822
When you're ready,
we all signed it.

8
00:00:17,931 --> 00:00:19,661
We just wanted you to know
we're thinking about you.

9
00:00:19,967 --> 00:00:21,196
Thank you.

10
00:00:23,370 --> 00:00:27,000
"Congratulations, Darryl.
Let's get wasted."

11
00:00:27,074 --> 00:00:29,566
"Have fun today, big guy."

12
00:00:29,643 --> 00:00:31,305
"Oh, yeah. Party time.

13
00:00:31,378 --> 00:00:33,176
"Whoop-whoop."

14
00:00:33,847 --> 00:00:36,646
It's possible that some people
thought it was your birthday.

15
00:00:36,717 --> 00:00:38,185
"Hooray. Live it up, big D."

16
00:00:38,552 --> 00:00:40,111
"Days like this don't
come often enough.

17
00:00:40,187 --> 00:00:42,679
"Time to celebrate.

18
00:00:42,756 --> 00:00:44,019
"You deserve this"?

19
00:00:48,395 --> 00:00:50,955
Birthday punches! One, two,
three, four, five, six...

20
00:00:51,064 --> 00:00:52,157
I'm so sorry.

21
00:00:52,232 --> 00:00:56,465
13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19,
20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25...

22
00:00:57,980 --> 00:01:04,054
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

23
00:01:18,292 --> 00:01:20,784
So, I got an early
res at Blu Wasabi,

24
00:01:20,861 --> 00:01:22,762
and I'm taking Rachel.

25
00:01:22,829 --> 00:01:24,127
She's picking
me up after work.

26
00:01:24,197 --> 00:01:25,324
Rachel from the party?

27
00:01:26,099 --> 00:01:27,897
Oh, yeah.
Nice.

28
00:01:28,001 --> 00:01:29,731
Do the damn thing.

29
00:01:29,803 --> 00:01:32,170
Blu Wasabi is so good,
but get the cheeseburger.

30
00:01:32,239 --> 00:01:33,229
They say they won't do it,

31
00:01:33,340 --> 00:01:34,330
but they will if
you make a scene.

32
00:01:34,408 --> 00:01:36,070
Okay, bye.
Okay, bye.

33
00:01:36,143 --> 00:01:37,736
I'll miss you.

34
00:01:37,811 --> 00:01:39,143
Miss you.

35
00:01:39,846 --> 00:01:42,338
Okay. I'll be in my office
if you need me. Bye-bye.

36
00:01:42,449 --> 00:01:43,747
Bye.

37
00:01:43,850 --> 00:01:44,874
Okay, bye.
Bye.

38
00:01:44,952 --> 00:01:46,682
All right, bye. Bye.
Bye. Okay.

39
00:01:46,753 --> 00:01:48,415
One more big one. Don't go.
I don't want you to go.

40
00:01:48,488 --> 00:01:50,320
Let go.
Don't go.

41
00:01:55,462 --> 00:01:57,454
Holly and I are dating.

42
00:01:58,765 --> 00:02:01,599
It's been a week, and I
still can't believe it.

43
00:02:03,570 --> 00:02:04,594
It goes to show
that everything

44
00:02:04,671 --> 00:02:06,071
you want in life,
you get.

45
00:02:06,139 --> 00:02:09,439
And you can't work for it.
It just comes to you.

46
00:02:09,610 --> 00:02:11,272
And what do we have here?

47
00:02:11,612 --> 00:02:14,241
From my secret admirer.
That's you.

48
00:02:14,314 --> 00:02:15,748
Caught.

49
00:02:15,882 --> 00:02:17,407
I dominate Valentine's Day.

50
00:02:17,484 --> 00:02:20,386
I practically make
romance into a science.

51
00:02:20,487 --> 00:02:21,887
"Roses are red.
Violets are blue.

52
00:02:21,955 --> 00:02:24,584
"Look in the vase
to find your first clue."

53
00:02:24,658 --> 00:02:26,524
Oh, my gosh. It's a
romantic scavenger hunt.

54
00:02:26,593 --> 00:02:28,323
Close. It's a romantic
treasure hunt.

55
00:02:28,395 --> 00:02:31,331
A scavenger hunt is where you
find items from a master list.

56
00:02:31,398 --> 00:02:33,299
This is where you follow
clues that lead to a prize.

57
00:02:33,367 --> 00:02:34,767
Common misuse. Good luck.

58
00:02:34,835 --> 00:02:35,962
But there's no clue.

59
00:02:36,036 --> 00:02:37,436
Well, get to work.

60
00:02:38,138 --> 00:02:39,367
I can't 'cause
there's no clue.

61
00:02:39,439 --> 00:02:41,032
The puzzle is the clue.

62
00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:47,470
Are these numbers correct?

63
00:02:47,547 --> 00:02:49,072
The numbers are
correct, Michael.

64
00:02:49,149 --> 00:02:51,050
Okay.

65
00:02:57,591 --> 00:02:59,457
Are you... Are
you sick, Oscar?

66
00:02:59,526 --> 00:03:00,550
Do you need to go home?

67
00:03:00,627 --> 00:03:02,186
'Cause you're grossing me out.

68
00:03:02,262 --> 00:03:03,525
I just need a signature.

69
00:03:09,302 --> 00:03:10,634
There you go. Thanks.

70
00:03:10,704 --> 00:03:12,468
Thank you.

71
00:03:14,608 --> 00:03:16,372
How much did you give him?
Big tip.

72
00:03:16,443 --> 00:03:17,706
Wait. I don't have my scarf.

73
00:03:17,778 --> 00:03:19,906
What?
I'm missing my scarf. Oh...

74
00:03:25,986 --> 00:03:28,683
We decided to have
a Valentine's Day lunch,

75
00:03:28,755 --> 00:03:30,986
and then that way we can spend
the entire night with Cece,

76
00:03:31,058 --> 00:03:34,859
and avoid the Valentine's
Day dinner thing.

77
00:03:35,462 --> 00:03:36,828
It's a whole thing.

78
00:03:36,897 --> 00:03:38,661
Yeah, lunch was wonderful!

79
00:03:38,732 --> 00:03:40,826
Um, there was
an amazing buffet,

80
00:03:40,901 --> 00:03:43,632
and there was a chocolate
fondue station.

81
00:03:43,704 --> 00:03:45,002
And what else was there?

82
00:03:45,072 --> 00:03:47,132
Uh, bottomless champagne.
Yes.

83
00:03:48,141 --> 00:03:50,736
Never found that bottom, did we?
No.

84
00:03:51,244 --> 00:03:53,975
Pssst! Pssst!

85
00:03:54,715 --> 00:03:55,774
What's up?

86
00:03:55,849 --> 00:03:57,078
Are you good
at jigsaw puzzles?

87
00:03:57,150 --> 00:03:58,277
Are you kidding me?
It's all I did every summer

88
00:03:58,351 --> 00:03:59,683
when my brothers
were out sailing.

89
00:03:59,753 --> 00:04:02,188
Okay. But if this is a
romantic thing with Gabe,

90
00:04:02,255 --> 00:04:03,314
I should probably...

91
00:04:03,390 --> 00:04:06,224
Oh! No, no, no, no.
It's not weird at all.

92
00:04:06,293 --> 00:04:07,921
You have your new
girlfriend, I have Gabe.

93
00:04:07,994 --> 00:04:09,292
This is just as friends.

94
00:04:09,963 --> 00:04:11,056
Well, okay then.

95
00:04:11,631 --> 00:04:14,066
Yes! At least until
Stanley calms down.

96
00:04:14,134 --> 00:04:16,035
Oh, is he...
Don't look.

97
00:04:16,670 --> 00:04:18,969
I accidentally did his sudoku.

98
00:04:19,406 --> 00:04:21,272
Andy.

99
00:04:21,641 --> 00:04:23,803
All right, I will
fax over it to you.

100
00:04:24,644 --> 00:04:28,172
I will fax it over to you.
Okay. Thank you.

101
00:04:30,517 --> 00:04:32,008
Okay, my name is

102
00:04:32,085 --> 00:04:36,614
Jim Halpert,
and I will fax it in to you.

103
00:04:36,690 --> 00:04:38,249
Under you.
I'll fax it under you.

104
00:04:38,325 --> 00:04:41,261
Oh, excuse me.
I just pissed my pants.

105
00:04:42,429 --> 00:04:43,954
Not really. I didn't really.

106
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:49,101
Wait.

107
00:04:49,369 --> 00:04:50,667
You're just filling
that out right now?

108
00:04:50,737 --> 00:04:52,433
That wasn't meant for me.

109
00:04:53,073 --> 00:04:54,564
I will not be your valentine.

110
00:04:54,975 --> 00:04:57,069
Oh, nuts.

111
00:04:58,411 --> 00:05:00,175
I don't know if anyone
else feels this way,

112
00:05:00,247 --> 00:05:03,809
and don't get me wrong,
I love Michael and Holly.

113
00:05:04,484 --> 00:05:07,010
And maybe I'm being
overly sensitive, but

114
00:05:07,187 --> 00:05:08,280
the PDA...

115
00:05:08,355 --> 00:05:10,586
Yes! The freaking PDA!
Uh-huh.

116
00:05:10,657 --> 00:05:12,148
Thank you!

117
00:05:12,225 --> 00:05:13,591
I mean, I'm thrilled for them.

118
00:05:13,660 --> 00:05:16,027
No one is more thrilled for them
than I am... Yes. Yes, absolutely.

119
00:05:16,096 --> 00:05:17,894
but it's totally
inappropriate.

120
00:05:17,964 --> 00:05:20,559
Yeah, it's a little much.

121
00:05:20,634 --> 00:05:23,468
Obviously, so happy for them both.
So happy. Yeah.

122
00:05:23,537 --> 00:05:25,369
I don't know, guys.
I, for one,

123
00:05:25,438 --> 00:05:27,964
enjoy watching them, because...
No, stop. Just don't...

124
00:05:28,041 --> 00:05:31,205
Can I finish? Can I finish?
Is that okay? No, no, no.

125
00:05:31,278 --> 00:05:33,406
I was saying,

126
00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:36,348
I enjoy watching them

127
00:05:36,483 --> 00:05:38,111
because it makes me horny.

128
00:05:39,286 --> 00:05:40,379
God! Kevin!

129
00:05:40,453 --> 00:05:42,820
So, tell me about
your new girlfriend.

130
00:05:43,056 --> 00:05:44,490
She's neat.

131
00:05:44,558 --> 00:05:46,083
Uh, I met her at
Darryl's cousin's party.

132
00:05:46,159 --> 00:05:47,627
We were the only two
white people there.

133
00:05:47,828 --> 00:05:49,296
Oh, cute.

134
00:05:49,362 --> 00:05:51,388
Hey, look at that. Done.

135
00:05:51,698 --> 00:05:53,064
That's Gabe's boom box.

136
00:05:53,133 --> 00:05:54,863
Come on, we have
to go find it.

137
00:05:55,368 --> 00:05:56,859
I wish you well on your quest.

138
00:05:56,937 --> 00:05:57,961
No, come on.

139
00:05:58,038 --> 00:05:59,097
I mean...

140
00:05:59,339 --> 00:06:00,739
Come on!

141
00:06:00,807 --> 00:06:02,332
Okay.

142
00:06:02,742 --> 00:06:04,506
I hear them kissing
all the time.

143
00:06:04,611 --> 00:06:06,307
It's this horrible
plipping sound.

144
00:06:06,379 --> 00:06:07,813
You know, it's like
Chinese water torture.

145
00:06:07,914 --> 00:06:09,405
Just...

146
00:06:09,482 --> 00:06:10,973
Like it's coming
from my own head.

147
00:06:11,618 --> 00:06:13,246
Okay, sit. Okay.

148
00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:16,051
Just close your eyes.

149
00:06:16,957 --> 00:06:18,289
Can you get lower?

150
00:06:18,358 --> 00:06:20,384
Oh, yeah.
A little lower.

151
00:06:20,794 --> 00:06:22,956
I cannot keep myself
from Michael.

152
00:06:23,029 --> 00:06:25,498
Everything he does is sexy.

153
00:06:25,632 --> 00:06:30,297
He has this undeniable animal magnetism.
He's a jungle cat.

154
00:06:30,370 --> 00:06:33,067
The man exudes sex.

155
00:06:33,139 --> 00:06:36,337
He can put both his
legs behind his head.

156
00:06:37,477 --> 00:06:39,207
Thank you all for meeting
on such short notice.

157
00:06:39,279 --> 00:06:40,440
Yes?

158
00:06:40,714 --> 00:06:42,410
Yes. Michael Scott,
Dunder Mifflin.

159
00:06:42,482 --> 00:06:44,110
What is the purpose
of this meeting?

160
00:06:44,317 --> 00:06:45,785
Seeing as it's
Valentine's Day,

161
00:06:45,852 --> 00:06:47,377
I felt it would
be apropos to have

162
00:06:47,454 --> 00:06:50,117
a little refresher course
on romance in the workplace.

163
00:06:50,190 --> 00:06:53,854
Perfect. Yes. It is quite
apro-propriate. Carry on.

164
00:06:54,261 --> 00:06:56,958
First things first, an office
romance is permissible.

165
00:06:57,330 --> 00:07:00,528
Not something you'd expect to hear
from corporate. Well, guess what?

166
00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:03,695
Sabre is 100% tolerant
of office romances.

167
00:07:04,204 --> 00:07:06,639
Speaking of, Gabe, I don't
see Erin at this meeting.

168
00:07:06,940 --> 00:07:08,806
Uh, I also don't see Andy.

169
00:07:08,942 --> 00:07:10,934
Ooh.

170
00:07:11,678 --> 00:07:12,771
Boom! Face!

171
00:07:12,913 --> 00:07:15,144
I get it. Andy's
slamming my girlfriend.

172
00:07:15,215 --> 00:07:16,683
Very funny.

173
00:07:16,750 --> 00:07:20,915
What I do not approve of, however,
is public displays of affection,

174
00:07:20,987 --> 00:07:22,615
or PDAs.

175
00:07:22,689 --> 00:07:26,456
PDAs are totally superfluous to a
happy, healthy office romance.

176
00:07:27,060 --> 00:07:28,722
A perfect example,
look at Jim and Pam.

177
00:07:28,795 --> 00:07:31,663
Yeah. What? Us?

178
00:07:31,731 --> 00:07:33,791
They don't touch.
They don't kiss.

179
00:07:33,867 --> 00:07:36,029
You would hardly even know that
they were husband and wife.

180
00:07:36,236 --> 00:07:37,226
Did it.
Yeah!

181
00:07:37,304 --> 00:07:38,772
Love it.
Keep it going.

182
00:07:38,838 --> 00:07:40,466
Okay. So, PDAs.

183
00:07:40,540 --> 00:07:43,669
That's gonna include behaviors
such as hugging, kissing...

184
00:07:43,977 --> 00:07:45,570
Uh...
Booby honking.

185
00:07:45,812 --> 00:07:47,246
Yeah, booby honking. Sure.

186
00:07:47,314 --> 00:07:48,338
Butt honking.

187
00:07:48,415 --> 00:07:49,542
Butt honking.
Yup, all the honkings.

188
00:07:49,616 --> 00:07:51,642
The one where you start in a
crouched position, then you leap...

189
00:07:51,718 --> 00:07:54,085
Sure. Basically, there's
no precise definition,

190
00:07:54,154 --> 00:07:55,782
but you know
it when you see it.

191
00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:01,890
Are you guys
listening to this?

192
00:08:04,698 --> 00:08:06,496
What? Are you talking
about me and Holly?

193
00:08:07,233 --> 00:08:08,257
Yeah!

194
00:08:08,935 --> 00:08:10,927
Maybe you find
your own chair.

195
00:08:12,672 --> 00:08:14,038
So, we kiss occasionally.

196
00:08:14,107 --> 00:08:15,837
Not occasionally.
All the time.

197
00:08:16,009 --> 00:08:17,409
Yeah, and it's not
just the kissing.

198
00:08:17,477 --> 00:08:19,173
It's the flirtatious
whispering.

199
00:08:19,279 --> 00:08:20,645
The flirtatious tickling.

200
00:08:20,747 --> 00:08:23,376
Whispering and tickling
have their place in business.

201
00:08:23,450 --> 00:08:26,579
That thing where you
softly exhale on her neck.

202
00:08:26,653 --> 00:08:27,848
I...

203
00:08:27,921 --> 00:08:29,981
Okay, yeah, that's pretty hot.
I will give you that.

204
00:08:30,056 --> 00:08:33,117
Look, you are all hypocrites.
You all do it.

205
00:08:33,193 --> 00:08:35,560
Michael? Confession.

206
00:08:35,628 --> 00:08:37,028
I have done PDA in the office.

207
00:08:37,163 --> 00:08:38,187
Thank you.

208
00:08:38,264 --> 00:08:40,256
I've had intercourse in the office.
All right.

209
00:08:40,333 --> 00:08:41,699
As has Angela.
Dwight!

210
00:08:41,768 --> 00:08:44,294
As has Ryan. As has Kelly.
As has Meredith.

211
00:08:44,371 --> 00:08:49,639
As has Phyllis. As has Darryl. As has
Creed. As has Michael. As has Holly.

212
00:08:49,709 --> 00:08:51,109
As has Kevin.

213
00:08:51,177 --> 00:08:52,201
With who?

214
00:08:52,278 --> 00:08:54,213
She goes to another school.

215
00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:56,442
Okay, fine. No more PDA.

216
00:08:56,516 --> 00:08:57,984
Good.
You win.

217
00:08:58,485 --> 00:08:59,817
But here's what
we are gonna do.

218
00:08:59,886 --> 00:09:02,651
We are going to designate one of
our closets as a hook-up zone.

219
00:09:02,722 --> 00:09:03,883
No.
Anything goes!

220
00:09:03,957 --> 00:09:06,256
Just leave it how you said...
Michael, that's absurd.

221
00:09:06,326 --> 00:09:08,090
What if two couples want
to go at the same time?

222
00:09:08,161 --> 00:09:09,185
Ugh, Dwight!
Okay, then we have two...

223
00:09:09,262 --> 00:09:11,390
No, no, we're gonna
have three closets,

224
00:09:11,464 --> 00:09:13,660
one for each base,
no homers. Yes?

225
00:09:13,767 --> 00:09:15,702
And what is the hook-up zone
policy on masturbation?

226
00:09:17,270 --> 00:09:19,102
Pro.
Yes.

227
00:09:19,172 --> 00:09:20,663
What? Problem solved.

228
00:09:20,740 --> 00:09:23,369
No, no, it's great. I love
working at Dunder Mifflin,

229
00:09:23,443 --> 00:09:26,572
a division of
Taliban enterprises.

230
00:09:26,913 --> 00:09:28,472
That's weird.

231
00:09:28,548 --> 00:09:31,541
I mean, that's weird
to have sex in the office.

232
00:09:31,618 --> 00:09:33,052
That's where you work, right?

233
00:09:33,119 --> 00:09:34,109
Mmm-hmm.

234
00:09:35,288 --> 00:09:36,916
You know, you're in a meeting,

235
00:09:36,990 --> 00:09:40,085
and nobody knows that
you've had sex there,

236
00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:42,026
except for you and him.

237
00:09:43,930 --> 00:09:44,920
Ew.

238
00:09:47,333 --> 00:09:49,564
Don't mind us.
You keep working.

239
00:09:50,437 --> 00:09:52,030
Okay, I'll keep working.

240
00:09:53,940 --> 00:09:56,705
Oh, my God. It's a song.

241
00:09:56,843 --> 00:09:57,867
Whoa.

242
00:09:57,944 --> 00:09:59,572
What do you think is on it?

243
00:10:00,013 --> 00:10:01,777
We should actually probably
talk about it outside,

244
00:10:01,848 --> 00:10:03,874
or we might make Darryl mad.

245
00:10:03,950 --> 00:10:05,714
Not if we're talking
like this. I think it's okay.

246
00:10:05,785 --> 00:10:07,617
He doesn't seem to hear us.

247
00:10:08,922 --> 00:10:10,948
I think he's just being nice.

248
00:10:11,024 --> 00:10:13,823
That makes sense 'cause I feel like
I'd be able to hear us at this level.

249
00:10:13,893 --> 00:10:15,020
Darryl?

250
00:10:15,095 --> 00:10:16,996
Darryl is a jerk.

251
00:10:17,063 --> 00:10:18,122
No, he's not.

252
00:10:18,198 --> 00:10:19,791
No, I'm just testing
if he can hear.

253
00:10:19,866 --> 00:10:21,061
I can hear you.
Okay.

254
00:10:21,134 --> 00:10:23,103
Then no more talking.
Let's just play the song.

255
00:10:24,104 --> 00:10:26,300
The temp at night

256
00:10:26,372 --> 00:10:28,637
The temp at night

257
00:10:28,708 --> 00:10:30,904
The temp at night

258
00:10:30,977 --> 00:10:32,878
The temp at night

259
00:10:33,613 --> 00:10:35,775
Temp at night?

260
00:10:36,015 --> 00:10:37,108
What do you...

261
00:10:37,183 --> 00:10:39,152
You got it.

262
00:10:39,219 --> 00:10:40,448
Pick it up. Take it out.

263
00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:41,710
Pick?

264
00:10:41,955 --> 00:10:43,082
Pick it up.
Okay.

265
00:10:43,189 --> 00:10:46,125
Take it out. Pick it up.
Pick it up.

266
00:10:46,192 --> 00:10:47,592
Pick it up. Take it out.

267
00:10:47,660 --> 00:10:49,788
Right. Okay.

268
00:11:00,173 --> 00:11:02,608
Sorry to interrupt.
Forgot to collect my things.

269
00:11:02,675 --> 00:11:06,043
Ah, the old leave behind.
Oldest trick in the book.

270
00:11:06,112 --> 00:11:07,546
Good thing it's working.

271
00:11:07,614 --> 00:11:09,947
No. Michael, I don't want
to make people uncomfortable.

272
00:11:10,683 --> 00:11:12,914
Since when is comfort
the most important thing?

273
00:11:12,986 --> 00:11:15,615
I mean, I don't sit on your
lap because it's comfortable.

274
00:11:15,688 --> 00:11:18,283
I sit on your lap because I like the
way your thighs feel on my butt.

275
00:11:18,525 --> 00:11:21,154
Yeah, but if they're uncomfortable,
it makes me uncomfortable.

276
00:11:21,828 --> 00:11:25,287
Oh, okay. Well, if it
makes you uncomfortable,

277
00:11:25,365 --> 00:11:26,924
then we'll stop.
Okay.

278
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:28,798
Holly and I are like
Romeo and Juliet,

279
00:11:28,868 --> 00:11:32,202
and this office is like the
dragon that kept them apart.

280
00:11:32,572 --> 00:11:36,100
Hey, you know the only reason why
people here are complaining?

281
00:11:36,442 --> 00:11:40,846
They are jealous of two people
in love on Valentine's Day.

282
00:11:41,114 --> 00:11:42,412
Two people in love?

283
00:11:44,884 --> 00:11:46,375
I love you.

284
00:11:47,086 --> 00:11:49,578
Wait, wait, wait. What
do you mean you love me?

285
00:11:49,656 --> 00:11:51,352
We've only been
dating for a week.

286
00:11:51,624 --> 00:11:54,526
Do you mean you love me like, "Hey,
there's Holly. I love that girl,"

287
00:11:54,594 --> 00:11:58,759
or do you mean you love me
like you "love me" love me?

288
00:11:59,399 --> 00:12:00,992
I "love you" love you.

289
00:12:02,569 --> 00:12:04,561
You "love me" love me.

290
00:12:06,706 --> 00:12:09,039
I "love you" love you.

291
00:12:21,454 --> 00:12:27,018
I am really disappointed in the
office's policy on PDA at this moment.

292
00:12:32,865 --> 00:12:34,424
I love you.

293
00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:35,695
I love you.

294
00:12:40,206 --> 00:12:42,835
Yeah, whatever. No big deal.

295
00:12:42,909 --> 00:12:45,538
Just the hottest girl
in the world loves me.

296
00:12:50,149 --> 00:12:52,482
Okay, Ryan's the temp.
What does he do at night?

297
00:12:52,552 --> 00:12:55,112
I guess we just have
to wait until night and see.

298
00:12:55,922 --> 00:12:56,912
Oh.

299
00:12:57,023 --> 00:12:59,117
Or maybe not.

300
00:13:01,995 --> 00:13:03,019
Oh.

301
00:13:04,097 --> 00:13:05,360
Cool.

302
00:13:06,699 --> 00:13:08,930
How romantic is this?

303
00:13:09,002 --> 00:13:10,868
Super romantic.
Right?

304
00:13:12,405 --> 00:13:13,703
Do you see a clue or...

305
00:13:13,773 --> 00:13:14,934
Did you not see it?

306
00:13:15,508 --> 00:13:17,272
Oh, my gosh.
Hanks.

307
00:13:20,380 --> 00:13:21,905
Oh, hey.
Hey. No time to chat!

308
00:13:21,981 --> 00:13:23,950
Sorry. Well, we were
just looking for Ryan.

309
00:13:24,017 --> 00:13:26,213
So, he's not here.
Hey, you're looking for me?

310
00:13:26,286 --> 00:13:29,222
Oh, yeah, we were. We were just
looking to say hi. So, hey.

311
00:13:30,923 --> 00:13:31,982
No, you weren't.

312
00:13:32,058 --> 00:13:33,048
No, we weren't.

313
00:13:33,126 --> 00:13:34,560
You wanted to have
sex in my office.

314
00:13:34,627 --> 00:13:36,289
No. Definitely not.
That's disgusting.

315
00:13:36,362 --> 00:13:37,830
It's cool.

316
00:13:37,897 --> 00:13:41,299
Just, um, try to put everything
back where you found it.

317
00:13:41,834 --> 00:13:43,700
Text me when you're
finished. I'll be out here.

318
00:13:44,037 --> 00:13:46,029
Hey, you don't have to...

319
00:13:47,006 --> 00:13:48,440
That was so embarrassing.
I'm gonna die.

320
00:13:48,508 --> 00:13:50,136
That was really rough.

321
00:13:53,846 --> 00:13:55,371
Let me make
something clear.

322
00:13:55,648 --> 00:13:59,176
Jim and I have never and will
never have sex in the office.

323
00:13:59,319 --> 00:14:03,484
No, because the office isn't what
I'd consider a romantic place.

324
00:14:04,957 --> 00:14:07,620
Besides, we have something
those other people don't have,

325
00:14:07,694 --> 00:14:09,560
which is a home and a bed.

326
00:14:10,363 --> 00:14:11,797
And a shower.

327
00:14:13,266 --> 00:14:14,700
Hello, Holly.
Hello.

328
00:14:14,767 --> 00:14:15,894
Here, shake. No!

329
00:14:15,968 --> 00:14:18,233
No, don't touch.
No, we can't.

330
00:14:18,304 --> 00:14:20,239
No touching.
No touching.

331
00:14:20,306 --> 00:14:23,367
Ah, I'm trying
not to touch you.

332
00:14:23,543 --> 00:14:24,533
Oh.

333
00:14:24,644 --> 00:14:26,442
Almost got you.
No, so close.

334
00:14:26,512 --> 00:14:27,775
Oh!

335
00:14:27,847 --> 00:14:30,510
No, we can't do that.
We can't do this.

336
00:14:30,583 --> 00:14:31,846
You're not touching me.

337
00:14:31,918 --> 00:14:35,946
I don't know what your body feels
like, 'cause I can't touch it.

338
00:14:36,022 --> 00:14:37,718
Okay, this is much
worse than before.

339
00:14:37,790 --> 00:14:39,850
Yeah, I agree. This is nasty.

340
00:14:39,926 --> 00:14:41,792
Grab you here.
And here.

341
00:14:41,861 --> 00:14:43,921
And I will
grab you here anyway.

342
00:14:45,098 --> 00:14:46,157
You have to cut it out.

343
00:14:46,366 --> 00:14:47,425
Never.
Okay.

344
00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:49,366
You said you would.
I did say I would,

345
00:14:49,435 --> 00:14:51,427
but I was wrong.
I can't stop.

346
00:14:51,971 --> 00:14:55,032
You don't know what
it is like to love a woman

347
00:14:55,108 --> 00:14:59,876
and have her love you back. It is a
feeling that cannot, and will not,

348
00:14:59,946 --> 00:15:03,075
and frankly cannot
be contained.

349
00:15:03,216 --> 00:15:06,675
No one is a bigger fan
of sexual touching than me.

350
00:15:06,786 --> 00:15:10,018
But with you two, it's reaching
the level of a complex.

351
00:15:10,723 --> 00:15:12,214
I can think of
three explanations.

352
00:15:12,425 --> 00:15:15,691
One, you're taking MDMA,
street name, Ecstasy.

353
00:15:15,762 --> 00:15:17,321
I've done it,
and I know the feeling.

354
00:15:17,730 --> 00:15:19,392
No, I don't think so.

355
00:15:19,465 --> 00:15:23,425
Number two, you're desperately trying
to fit in a whole relationship

356
00:15:23,536 --> 00:15:27,974
before Toby comes back from jury duty
and Holly has to go back to Nashua.

357
00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:31,340
Or three, you're at an age

358
00:15:31,411 --> 00:15:34,643
where your sexual climaxes
aren't as powerful,

359
00:15:34,714 --> 00:15:39,618
so you need to overcompensate
with foreplay, taboo behavior.

360
00:15:40,686 --> 00:15:43,315
Yes, it was that.
It's that one.

361
00:15:43,423 --> 00:15:45,449
Yes. Number three.

362
00:15:48,828 --> 00:15:50,956
Give me all your money
and take off your clothes.

363
00:15:51,030 --> 00:15:52,464
We're not supposed to PDA.

364
00:15:52,532 --> 00:15:54,831
Come on. Nobody's looking.

365
00:16:01,207 --> 00:16:02,539
What's wrong?

366
00:16:06,345 --> 00:16:09,076
I hadn't thought about you
having to go back to Nashua.

367
00:16:10,950 --> 00:16:13,146
Maybe we didn't want
to think about it.

368
00:16:14,353 --> 00:16:16,151
We can make it work.
We'll date long-distance.

369
00:16:16,322 --> 00:16:19,156
That's what we said
last time, remember?

370
00:16:19,225 --> 00:16:21,626
We broke up on the drive.

371
00:16:22,728 --> 00:16:23,957
How's this gonna
be any different?

372
00:16:24,030 --> 00:16:25,225
We weren't in love last time.

373
00:16:25,298 --> 00:16:26,732
I was in love with you.

374
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:31,937
I'm not saying it won't be
hard, but we can make it work.

375
00:16:33,039 --> 00:16:34,371
That's what she said.

376
00:16:40,346 --> 00:16:41,939
One Erin special, please.

377
00:16:42,181 --> 00:16:43,979
Here's your bottle
of sparkling cider.

378
00:16:44,684 --> 00:16:45,708
That's my favorite.

379
00:16:45,785 --> 00:16:47,048
I'm now supposed to tell you

380
00:16:47,119 --> 00:16:52,183
to enjoy a mid-hunt break,
and look for a heart or some

381
00:16:52,258 --> 00:16:53,487
in the break room
when you're through.

382
00:16:56,262 --> 00:16:57,560
Hey, buck up, buddy.

383
00:16:58,431 --> 00:17:00,400
Make that face he likes.

384
00:17:02,368 --> 00:17:05,497
Hey. Hey, come on.
You're hurting him.

385
00:17:08,274 --> 00:17:10,971
It's like a time bomb
is ticking down.

386
00:17:11,043 --> 00:17:14,138
When it goes off, no more
kissing, no more hugging.

387
00:17:14,213 --> 00:17:15,272
Just hush.

388
00:17:15,348 --> 00:17:17,146
Sexual time bomb.

389
00:17:17,216 --> 00:17:18,878
Just rock.

390
00:17:22,188 --> 00:17:24,123
"Boner Bomb" starring
Jason Statham,

391
00:17:24,190 --> 00:17:26,659
or we go against type with an
Eisenberg or a Michael Cera.

392
00:17:26,726 --> 00:17:28,922
Movie idea?
No.

393
00:17:28,995 --> 00:17:32,124
Saving the world has
never been this hard.

394
00:17:32,198 --> 00:17:34,224
Okay.

395
00:17:34,333 --> 00:17:37,201
Have you talked to her about our feelings?
Women really go for that crap.

396
00:17:37,270 --> 00:17:38,602
No, I can't talk to her.

397
00:17:38,671 --> 00:17:42,403
I can't even look at her without
thinking about it ending.

398
00:17:44,443 --> 00:17:46,810
Kevin, do more stupid faces.

399
00:17:47,013 --> 00:17:48,037
Which one?

400
00:17:48,114 --> 00:17:50,140
I have a lot of stupid faces.
I don't know.

401
00:17:50,216 --> 00:17:51,844
Do a monkey face.
Do a monkey face.

402
00:17:52,985 --> 00:17:55,784
I love that. I love that face.
Good. He loves it.

403
00:17:58,357 --> 00:18:00,485
Good. Jump. Jump up and down.

404
00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:02,290
No, monkey!
Go back to the monkey.

405
00:18:02,361 --> 00:18:03,522
Don't do the squirrel.

406
00:18:04,030 --> 00:18:06,090
Throw your poop.
Hurl your feces.

407
00:18:06,532 --> 00:18:07,795
That's good.
Good.

408
00:18:07,867 --> 00:18:09,096
That's good. He's throwing it.

409
00:18:09,168 --> 00:18:11,399
They really do that.
I know.

410
00:18:11,604 --> 00:18:13,129
B-9.
B-9.

411
00:18:13,205 --> 00:18:14,605
Like benign tumor.

412
00:18:14,774 --> 00:18:17,676
Maybe it's just
more like "Be mine."

413
00:18:17,777 --> 00:18:20,144
Oh, yes. There's a note.

414
00:18:20,212 --> 00:18:22,181
"A little cookie
for you, my miss.

415
00:18:22,248 --> 00:18:25,514
"But the real treasure
is your Valentine's kiss."

416
00:18:25,685 --> 00:18:27,278
Mmm.

417
00:18:28,020 --> 00:18:29,010
So...

418
00:18:29,488 --> 00:18:31,684
We're supposed to...

419
00:18:32,959 --> 00:18:33,983
Hmm...

420
00:18:47,473 --> 00:18:49,942
Holly, hey.
Hi.

421
00:18:50,009 --> 00:18:53,207
Holly, I love you
so, so, so much.

422
00:18:53,279 --> 00:18:55,077
And I think that
we need to break up.

423
00:18:55,514 --> 00:18:56,709
What? What are
you talking about?

424
00:18:56,782 --> 00:18:57,909
Actually, it's
Valentine's Day.

425
00:18:57,984 --> 00:19:00,453
Shouldn't be doing this today.
I'll talk to you tomorrow.

426
00:19:00,519 --> 00:19:02,249
No, we're gonna talk now.

427
00:19:02,321 --> 00:19:03,448
You're not breaking
up with me.

428
00:19:04,023 --> 00:19:09,018
You're gonna go back to Nashua
eventually, and I can't handle it.

429
00:19:09,328 --> 00:19:11,854
So let's just... Let's...

430
00:19:11,931 --> 00:19:13,331
What if I said
it wasn't up to them?

431
00:19:13,399 --> 00:19:15,868
Who?
The company.

432
00:19:15,935 --> 00:19:17,335
Nobody knows our future,

433
00:19:17,403 --> 00:19:19,634
but it's not gonna be
decided by the company.

434
00:19:19,872 --> 00:19:22,341
It's not gonna be decided
by anybody but us.

435
00:19:22,541 --> 00:19:26,034
And what we are
is up to you and me.

436
00:19:27,947 --> 00:19:30,075
Okay. Okay.

437
00:19:32,284 --> 00:19:34,879
Ladies and gentlemen, I have
an announcement to make.

438
00:19:35,788 --> 00:19:38,519
As of today, officially,

439
00:19:38,591 --> 00:19:40,560
Holly and I are
moving in together.

440
00:19:40,626 --> 00:19:42,288
Yay!

441
00:19:42,361 --> 00:19:43,556
Thank you. Thank you.

442
00:19:43,763 --> 00:19:47,029
Oscar, this must be tough for
you, watching this go down.

443
00:19:47,099 --> 00:19:49,830
You could not stand in the
way of true love, my friend.

444
00:19:49,935 --> 00:19:51,870
Are you kidding? I wasn't
trying to break you guys up.

445
00:19:51,937 --> 00:19:53,872
Better luck next time, pal.

446
00:19:53,939 --> 00:19:58,741
Well, the point is, there will no longer
be any need for PDA here at the office

447
00:19:58,811 --> 00:20:01,280
between us, because
when we get home,

448
00:20:01,347 --> 00:20:05,079
we are going to make love
to and with one another,

449
00:20:05,217 --> 00:20:08,654
and that, to me, is the best
Valentine's Day present

450
00:20:08,754 --> 00:20:13,317
that a person could receive.
So, I bid you all adieu.

451
00:20:13,392 --> 00:20:15,554
You do?
I do.

452
00:20:16,128 --> 00:20:17,994
Go on. Kiss each
other already.

453
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,928
Suck it, Oscar.
This must kill you.

454
00:20:23,002 --> 00:20:24,436
I just told them to do it.

455
00:20:36,148 --> 00:20:38,447
What?
No.

456
00:20:38,951 --> 00:20:40,442
No.

457
00:20:40,519 --> 00:20:42,852
We took a walk.
We took a walk.

458
00:20:46,625 --> 00:20:48,924
My perfect Valentine's Day?

459
00:20:49,028 --> 00:20:52,294
I'm at home, three cell
phones in front of me,

460
00:20:52,398 --> 00:20:54,333
fielding desperate calls
from people who want to buy

461
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:58,565
one of the 50 restaurant reservations
I made over six months ago.

462
00:20:58,637 --> 00:21:01,971
Anybody can be Prince
Charming one day a year

463
00:21:02,041 --> 00:21:04,374
with the dinner and the
flowers and all that.

464
00:21:04,443 --> 00:21:06,173
But you know what
impresses me?

465
00:21:06,245 --> 00:21:09,374
When a guy can do
that no days a year.

466
00:21:10,382 --> 00:21:13,011
Flowers, diamonds,
three-course meal,

467
00:21:13,085 --> 00:21:15,281
violinist comes to my
table to serenade me.

468
00:21:15,354 --> 00:21:18,153
Pizza, soda, the moon,

469
00:21:18,224 --> 00:21:19,817
someone to share it with.

470
00:21:19,892 --> 00:21:22,452
What are our plans
for tonight?

471
00:21:22,528 --> 00:21:23,518
Um...

472
00:21:24,285 --> 00:21:34,285
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