1
00:00:04,968 --> 00:00:06,527
I got a delivery for you.

2
00:00:06,737 --> 00:00:08,171
Leave it at reception.

3
00:00:08,472 --> 00:00:11,135
I'm supposed to
deliver this one in person.

4
00:00:13,030 --> 00:00:19,104
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org

5
00:00:44,174 --> 00:00:46,439
Clean up on aisle five.

6
00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:52,681
After three years of writing,
one year of shooting,

7
00:00:52,749 --> 00:00:54,877
four years of re-shooting,
and two years of editing,

8
00:00:54,952 --> 00:00:57,478
I have finally
completed my movie,

9
00:00:57,554 --> 00:00:59,785
Threat Level Midnight.

10
00:01:20,911 --> 00:01:22,379
Erin, Erin...
Yes?

11
00:01:22,446 --> 00:01:23,505
What are you doing?

12
00:01:23,647 --> 00:01:24,706
Guys...

13
00:01:24,781 --> 00:01:27,945
Did you guys know that our own
Michael Scott has made a movie,

14
00:01:28,018 --> 00:01:30,317
and that he maybe
will let us watch it,

15
00:01:30,654 --> 00:01:32,816
but only if
everybody's dying to see it?

16
00:01:32,889 --> 00:01:35,085
That's... Well, don't
put words in my mouth.

17
00:01:35,626 --> 00:01:39,791
Threat Level Midnight is the great
lost film of Michael Scott.

18
00:01:39,863 --> 00:01:43,322
We're all in it from, like, years and
years ago. It's like a home movie.

19
00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:47,701
Yeah, if Michael
Scott did your home movie.

20
00:01:47,804 --> 00:01:50,672
Michael screened a work in
progress for us years ago,

21
00:01:50,741 --> 00:01:52,107
and it didn't go well.

22
00:01:52,809 --> 00:01:54,801
We thought it was a comedy.

23
00:01:54,878 --> 00:01:57,177
Everything pointed
to it being a comedy.

24
00:01:57,247 --> 00:01:58,237
Yep.

25
00:01:58,315 --> 00:01:59,305
We'd love to see it.

26
00:01:59,383 --> 00:02:02,046
Sweet. I will go invite Holly.

27
00:02:03,754 --> 00:02:05,746
Okay, everyone, I know
we're really excited to

28
00:02:05,822 --> 00:02:07,757
see this movie
that everybody's in,

29
00:02:07,824 --> 00:02:09,986
but we have to remember
that Michael is sensitive.

30
00:02:10,060 --> 00:02:11,756
So, let's stay positive.

31
00:02:11,828 --> 00:02:15,265
And no laughing, no comments,
just positive energy,

32
00:02:15,332 --> 00:02:18,029
and we'll have
a pure fun day, okay?

33
00:02:18,101 --> 00:02:19,433
Thanks, Mom.

34
00:02:20,203 --> 00:02:22,331
You never told me you made a movie.
Mmm-hmm.

35
00:02:22,406 --> 00:02:24,637
It's got action. It's got heart.
It's got symbolism.

36
00:02:24,808 --> 00:02:27,004
It's got you.
It's got a lot of me.

37
00:02:27,110 --> 00:02:28,806
I can't wait.

38
00:02:30,747 --> 00:02:33,842
Ladies and gentlemen,
Threat Level Midnight.

39
00:02:41,758 --> 00:02:46,458
Michael Scarn? Well, that
is an interesting story.

40
00:02:50,067 --> 00:02:53,128
He was once the best secret
agent in the business.

41
00:02:58,675 --> 00:03:00,143
That was years ago.

42
00:03:04,181 --> 00:03:05,774
Where is he now?

43
00:03:05,849 --> 00:03:09,616
Well, that's also
an interesting story.

44
00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:18,228
Master Scarn.

45
00:03:18,695 --> 00:03:20,323
Master Scarn!

46
00:03:20,397 --> 00:03:23,834
I play Samuel,
Michael Scarn's robot butler.

47
00:03:23,900 --> 00:03:25,493
I wanted Samuel's voice

48
00:03:25,569 --> 00:03:27,902
to be like this.

49
00:03:27,971 --> 00:03:29,769
But Michael thought
that Samuel should be

50
00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:31,206
a very advanced android,

51
00:03:31,274 --> 00:03:34,369
almost indistinguishable
from a real person.

52
00:03:34,878 --> 00:03:36,744
Dwight does not
play a robot.

53
00:03:39,015 --> 00:03:40,005
I'm up.

54
00:03:40,083 --> 00:03:41,073
It's the President.

55
00:03:41,151 --> 00:03:42,414
He needs you for a mission.

56
00:03:42,486 --> 00:03:43,954
Tell him I'm retired.

57
00:03:44,121 --> 00:03:45,419
It's Goldenface.

58
00:03:45,489 --> 00:03:48,186
Goldenface.

59
00:03:48,258 --> 00:03:49,783
This makes it personal.

60
00:03:55,799 --> 00:03:58,268
Scarn, you're right on time.

61
00:03:59,770 --> 00:04:00,760
Hail to the chief.

62
00:04:00,904 --> 00:04:01,928
I gave up a lot of weekends,

63
00:04:02,005 --> 00:04:03,667
because I thought it would
be good for my daughter

64
00:04:03,740 --> 00:04:08,542
to see a black man as President,
even in a silly home movie.

65
00:04:08,612 --> 00:04:10,706
What a stupid waste of time.

66
00:04:10,781 --> 00:04:13,046
It's your old enemy,
Goldenface.

67
00:04:13,116 --> 00:04:15,142
He's after
the NHL all-star game.

68
00:04:15,352 --> 00:04:18,186
He's hidden a bomb somewhere
in the stadium. Scarn,

69
00:04:20,056 --> 00:04:21,388
this one is personal for me.

70
00:04:21,458 --> 00:04:22,756
I own the stadium.

71
00:04:23,293 --> 00:04:25,057
I can't see it blown up.

72
00:04:25,128 --> 00:04:26,562
It's my retirement plan.

73
00:04:26,630 --> 00:04:27,893
We have to search the stadium.

74
00:04:28,031 --> 00:04:29,294
Not so fast.

75
00:04:29,366 --> 00:04:31,130
Goldenface has
taken all of the

76
00:04:31,201 --> 00:04:32,931
concession stand
workers hostage.

77
00:04:33,136 --> 00:04:37,164
Scarn, will you find these
hostages and save the game?

78
00:04:37,307 --> 00:04:40,641
Heads I do it,
tails I don't.

79
00:04:40,710 --> 00:04:42,736
Best out of seven.

80
00:04:44,714 --> 00:04:45,875
Heads.

81
00:04:48,852 --> 00:04:50,252
Tails.

82
00:04:51,488 --> 00:04:52,786
Heads.

83
00:04:53,423 --> 00:04:54,516
Tails.

84
00:04:55,058 --> 00:04:56,117
Heads.

85
00:04:58,895 --> 00:04:59,919
Tails.

86
00:05:08,471 --> 00:05:11,305
Looks like there's gonna be
a clean up on aisle five.

87
00:05:17,747 --> 00:05:20,216
Well,
the hostages were scared.

88
00:05:20,283 --> 00:05:23,412
Don't you guys get it?
Nobody's coming for us.

89
00:05:23,486 --> 00:05:25,546
Oh,
someone's coming, all right.

90
00:05:25,622 --> 00:05:29,423
The only man who would care,
Michael Scarn.

91
00:05:31,094 --> 00:05:34,223
See, I'm gonna lure him here,
then I'm gonna kill everybody,

92
00:05:34,297 --> 00:05:37,324
then I'm gonna dig
up Scarn's dead wife,

93
00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:39,801
and I'm gonna
hump her real good.

94
00:05:41,338 --> 00:05:43,000
I did not
love the dialog,

95
00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:44,874
or the character.

96
00:05:44,941 --> 00:05:49,970
I took the role to impress a
receptionist, who will remain nameless.

97
00:05:50,046 --> 00:05:52,481
Well, the all-star
game was three days away.

98
00:05:52,549 --> 00:05:54,916
So, naturally,
it was all sold out.

99
00:05:54,985 --> 00:05:57,887
The only way Scarn was
getting in was in a uniform.

100
00:05:57,988 --> 00:05:59,786
Just one problem with that.

101
00:05:59,856 --> 00:06:02,724
Scarn didn't know a hockey
stick from a Slim Jim.

102
00:06:02,826 --> 00:06:06,729
So, he went to meet with the
famed trainer, Cherokee Jack.

103
00:06:06,796 --> 00:06:08,025
Mop the ice.

104
00:06:08,164 --> 00:06:09,598
I'm not here to
learn how to mop.

105
00:06:09,733 --> 00:06:11,167
I'm here to learn
how to play hockey.

106
00:06:11,301 --> 00:06:12,360
Mop it.

107
00:06:26,483 --> 00:06:28,611
Come on. Come on!

108
00:06:47,103 --> 00:06:49,402
Now, take this.

109
00:06:49,472 --> 00:06:51,304
What am I
supposed to do with this?

110
00:06:51,474 --> 00:06:52,464
Mop.

111
00:06:57,914 --> 00:06:59,906
Well, Michael Scarn
was quickly becoming

112
00:06:59,983 --> 00:07:02,509
one of the hottest
hockey players in the country.

113
00:07:02,585 --> 00:07:06,317
Each year, the National Hockey
League accepts one civilian amateur

114
00:07:06,389 --> 00:07:07,948
to play in the all-star game.

115
00:07:08,024 --> 00:07:09,754
It's down to the three of you.

116
00:07:09,826 --> 00:07:13,354
The final test
is speed skating.

117
00:07:14,264 --> 00:07:17,029
On your marks, get set...

118
00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:18,493
Die.

119
00:07:40,123 --> 00:07:43,560
Nice try, Goldenface. Except you
forgot one thing, to kill me.

120
00:07:43,626 --> 00:07:45,561
Oh, I wasn't
trying to kill you.

121
00:07:45,628 --> 00:07:47,824
I was trying to
slow you down.

122
00:07:50,100 --> 00:07:51,830
No!

123
00:07:51,901 --> 00:07:53,164
Oh, by the way...

124
00:07:53,303 --> 00:07:54,566
Yeah?

125
00:07:54,637 --> 00:07:56,162
How's your wife doing?

126
00:07:59,576 --> 00:08:01,010
Congratulations.

127
00:08:01,077 --> 00:08:03,546
Hey, you came in second.
Not bad either, champ.

128
00:08:03,613 --> 00:08:05,445
I am so sorry I
have to do this.

129
00:08:20,897 --> 00:08:23,799
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

130
00:08:23,867 --> 00:08:25,859
I'm intercepting
a name.

131
00:08:25,935 --> 00:08:27,335
Jasmine Windsong.

132
00:08:27,837 --> 00:08:29,829
She works for Goldenface.

133
00:08:29,906 --> 00:08:33,604
But what I can't figure out
is, who is the Funky Cat?

134
00:08:33,676 --> 00:08:35,406
Not "who," what.

135
00:08:35,478 --> 00:08:37,777
The Funky Cat is the
hippest jazz club in town.

136
00:08:41,084 --> 00:08:43,178
Oh! Oh...

137
00:08:47,257 --> 00:08:49,954
He cut the part where my
circuit board malfunctioned?

138
00:08:50,026 --> 00:08:52,689
Then what was the point of
spilling the drink on me?

139
00:08:53,630 --> 00:09:00,036
They call me Jasmine Windsong

140
00:09:00,103 --> 00:09:02,163
Bingo.

141
00:09:02,639 --> 00:09:06,770
He finished his movie? No kidding.
Wow, that's great.

142
00:09:06,843 --> 00:09:08,539
Yeah, good for him.

143
00:09:20,690 --> 00:09:25,060
The hostages are
under the stadium

144
00:09:31,835 --> 00:09:33,064
Check, please.

145
00:09:33,136 --> 00:09:36,766
You have to let us go, Goldenface.
We have families.

146
00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:41,540
Ha! This is gonna show them
that I mean business.

147
00:09:43,780 --> 00:09:44,839
See ya.

148
00:09:53,189 --> 00:09:55,522
Far and away the most
expensive shot of the movie,

149
00:09:55,592 --> 00:09:59,222
but it was
integral to the story.

150
00:10:01,564 --> 00:10:02,998
It's Scarn!

151
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:05,564
Sorry about
your friend, Scarn.

152
00:10:05,635 --> 00:10:07,536
The joke's on you,
Goldenface.

153
00:10:07,604 --> 00:10:09,800
That man was
a wanted animal rapist.

154
00:10:10,173 --> 00:10:12,108
We've searched the whole
building, Goldenface.

155
00:10:12,175 --> 00:10:14,041
Where is the bomb?
Hmm?

156
00:10:14,377 --> 00:10:16,141
We've searched the whole
building, Goldenface.

157
00:10:16,212 --> 00:10:17,874
Where is the bomb?
Hmm?

158
00:10:17,947 --> 00:10:19,745
We've searched the...
Okay.

159
00:10:19,816 --> 00:10:22,376
He said,
"Where is the bomb?"

160
00:10:22,519 --> 00:10:23,748
In the puck.

161
00:10:24,854 --> 00:10:26,482
But why are you
telling me this?

162
00:10:26,556 --> 00:10:29,458
Because I'm going
to kill you, unless

163
00:10:29,526 --> 00:10:31,290
you forgive me for
murdering your wife.

164
00:10:40,970 --> 00:10:42,939
Hey, Goldenface.
Yeah?

165
00:10:43,006 --> 00:10:45,407
Go puck yourself.

166
00:10:47,377 --> 00:10:48,936
No!

167
00:10:50,013 --> 00:10:51,675
That was not scripted.

168
00:10:57,554 --> 00:10:59,147
More Tylenol.

169
00:10:59,222 --> 00:11:00,588
You've already had four.

170
00:11:00,723 --> 00:11:02,157
Oh, God!

171
00:11:03,026 --> 00:11:04,187
So good.

172
00:11:04,327 --> 00:11:05,488
You're lucky
to be alive.

173
00:11:05,628 --> 00:11:07,859
It'll take a lot more
than a bullet to the brain,

174
00:11:07,931 --> 00:11:11,959
lungs, heart, back and balls
to kill Michael Scarn.

175
00:11:12,035 --> 00:11:16,200
Let's just make sure that
everything's working properly.

176
00:11:26,849 --> 00:11:30,911
You just said,
"The bomb is in the puck"?

177
00:11:30,987 --> 00:11:32,080
Yes.

178
00:11:32,155 --> 00:11:34,249
Is that where you hid
the bomb, Goldenface?

179
00:11:37,594 --> 00:11:39,495
But why would you
blow up the stadium?

180
00:11:39,562 --> 00:11:41,326
You own the stadium.

181
00:11:41,397 --> 00:11:44,526
For the insurance money.
I knew it all along.

182
00:11:44,667 --> 00:11:46,568
You will never
get away with this.

183
00:11:59,782 --> 00:12:02,149
Where had I gone wrong?

184
00:12:02,218 --> 00:12:06,212
All I wanted was to start a
family with my beautiful wife,

185
00:12:06,289 --> 00:12:10,192
but somewhere along the way,
things got messed up.

186
00:12:10,260 --> 00:12:12,092
It wasn't easy
for Scarn to admit

187
00:12:12,228 --> 00:12:14,060
that he'd lost
his self-confidence.

188
00:12:14,230 --> 00:12:15,664
And he hadn't, of course.

189
00:12:15,999 --> 00:12:18,559
He just wasn't
using it right now.

190
00:12:18,635 --> 00:12:19,967
Mike!

191
00:12:20,036 --> 00:12:21,299
Beer me, Billy.

192
00:12:21,537 --> 00:12:23,597
You don't look so good.
What's got you down?

193
00:12:23,673 --> 00:12:26,199
I got problems, Billy.
Big problems.

194
00:12:26,276 --> 00:12:28,871
You got problems?
My TV don't work.

195
00:12:28,945 --> 00:12:32,382
I pay $30 a month for the damn
satellite whats-a-whose-it.

196
00:12:32,448 --> 00:12:34,508
I can't even
get the damn game.

197
00:12:34,651 --> 00:12:36,745
Now, you tell me,
what's worse than that?

198
00:12:37,387 --> 00:12:38,821
Don't ever change, Billy.

199
00:12:40,390 --> 00:12:43,724
Goldenface is going to blow up
the NHL all-star game tomorrow.

200
00:12:44,627 --> 00:12:46,755
I see what you
mean about problems.

201
00:12:46,863 --> 00:12:49,128
I know what'll cheer you up.

202
00:12:49,198 --> 00:12:51,997
That table of bachelorettes over
there bought you this drink.

203
00:12:55,605 --> 00:12:56,903
Hey.

204
00:12:56,973 --> 00:13:00,933
Ever banged an entire
bachelorette party, baby?

205
00:13:01,544 --> 00:13:05,276
Why are you singling my line out,
like, a million years later?

206
00:13:05,348 --> 00:13:08,147
I'm too depressed
to save the big game, Billy.

207
00:13:08,217 --> 00:13:12,120
I'm gonna cheer you up the only
ways I know hows. Hey, kid,

208
00:13:14,390 --> 00:13:16,086
hit G-9 on the jukebox.

209
00:13:16,159 --> 00:13:19,926
No, Billy, I haven't done that
dance since my wife died.

210
00:13:19,996 --> 00:13:22,431
There's a whole
crowd of people out there

211
00:13:22,565 --> 00:13:25,034
who need to learn
how to do the Scarn.

212
00:13:32,875 --> 00:13:35,743
Well, my name's Michael Scarn
And I'm here to say

213
00:13:35,845 --> 00:13:37,871
I'm about to do the Scarn
In a major way

214
00:13:42,485 --> 00:13:44,477
You jump to the right
And you shake a hand

215
00:13:44,554 --> 00:13:46,716
Then you jump to the left
And you shake that hand

216
00:13:46,789 --> 00:13:48,917
You meet new friends
You tie some yarn

217
00:13:48,991 --> 00:13:51,051
And that's how
you do the Scarn

218
00:13:51,127 --> 00:13:53,187
You jump to the right
And you shake a hand

219
00:13:53,262 --> 00:13:55,493
Then you jump to the left
And you shake that hand

220
00:13:55,565 --> 00:13:57,659
Meet new friends
Tie that yarn

221
00:13:57,734 --> 00:13:59,703
That's how you do the Scarn

222
00:13:59,769 --> 00:14:01,362
You jump to the right
And you shake a hand

223
00:14:01,437 --> 00:14:03,463
Shh. Stop.

224
00:14:04,140 --> 00:14:06,302
Meet new friends
Tie that yarn

225
00:14:06,376 --> 00:14:08,538
That's how you do the Scarn

226
00:14:08,611 --> 00:14:11,740
If doing the Scarn is gay,

227
00:14:11,814 --> 00:14:14,545
then I'm
the biggest queer on earth!

228
00:14:15,485 --> 00:14:17,351
You guys, I think I have...
Sorry.

229
00:14:17,420 --> 00:14:19,651
I'm really sorry.

230
00:14:20,723 --> 00:14:22,316
Hey, hey.
Michael!

231
00:14:22,392 --> 00:14:25,851
Michael, I'm sorry.
I'm really, really sorry.

232
00:14:25,928 --> 00:14:27,328
I think I was just
relieved to see that

233
00:14:27,463 --> 00:14:28,897
Michael Scarn got
his confidence back.

234
00:14:28,965 --> 00:14:30,092
Yeah, Michael,
the movie's amazing.

235
00:14:30,166 --> 00:14:33,295
It's, like, one of the best
movies I've ever seen in my life.

236
00:14:33,369 --> 00:14:34,894
You should enter
it in festivals.

237
00:14:34,971 --> 00:14:36,166
Or carnivals.
Yeah.

238
00:14:37,140 --> 00:14:41,475
Well, that's a pretty good reaction.
That's pretty cool, right?

239
00:14:41,878 --> 00:14:44,211
Did you like it?
Did you like that?

240
00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:46,181
Which part?

241
00:14:47,717 --> 00:14:49,276
Okay.

242
00:14:49,352 --> 00:14:51,184
All right.
Come on.

243
00:14:51,254 --> 00:14:52,586
No.
Michael.

244
00:14:52,655 --> 00:14:54,089
No, come on!

245
00:14:54,223 --> 00:14:55,691
We have to see the end.

246
00:14:55,758 --> 00:14:58,193
No, it's not good enough.
It's not good enough.

247
00:14:58,261 --> 00:15:00,457
Some people are
really popping on-screen.

248
00:15:06,035 --> 00:15:07,196
Hey.
Hey.

249
00:15:07,770 --> 00:15:08,999
Good movie.
Mmm.

250
00:15:09,138 --> 00:15:10,401
Good?

251
00:15:10,473 --> 00:15:12,203
Everybody out
there says it's great.

252
00:15:12,708 --> 00:15:14,267
I loved it.
Did you?

253
00:15:14,343 --> 00:15:15,709
What did you love about it?

254
00:15:15,778 --> 00:15:20,045
Um... I loved that you got to work
together with all your friends.

255
00:15:20,116 --> 00:15:21,140
Mmm-hmm.

256
00:15:21,217 --> 00:15:23,413
Isn't that so great when you can
all work together like that?

257
00:15:23,486 --> 00:15:26,354
No, no. Holly,
this isn't Ocean's Eleven,

258
00:15:26,422 --> 00:15:27,754
where you get together
with all your friends,

259
00:15:27,824 --> 00:15:30,089
and you just have fun, and you
don't care about how it turns out.

260
00:15:30,726 --> 00:15:32,627
What'd you really think,
honestly?

261
00:15:32,695 --> 00:15:33,788
Um...

262
00:15:33,930 --> 00:15:35,558
Is it...

263
00:15:35,631 --> 00:15:37,896
Is it because you're afraid of
where this is gonna take me?

264
00:15:37,967 --> 00:15:41,267
Because, see, I need you
to keep me grounded.

265
00:15:42,538 --> 00:15:44,131
Not worried about that.

266
00:15:45,875 --> 00:15:48,470
This is 11 years, okay?

267
00:15:48,544 --> 00:15:51,241
This has been
my dream for 11 years,

268
00:15:51,314 --> 00:15:53,010
and if you don't
think it's great,

269
00:15:53,082 --> 00:15:55,278
then you're basically saying
you don't believe in my dream.

270
00:15:55,351 --> 00:15:58,515
It's your dream? You never
even mentioned it before.

271
00:15:58,588 --> 00:16:00,819
We talk about
a lot of things, Holly.

272
00:16:00,890 --> 00:16:02,791
You know, I was
eventually going to

273
00:16:02,859 --> 00:16:05,920
get around to my dream,
obviously.

274
00:16:05,995 --> 00:16:07,327
Eleven years
that I could've been

275
00:16:07,396 --> 00:16:08,921
working on "The
Scarn Nebulous."

276
00:16:08,998 --> 00:16:11,399
Well, why do you have to
make a movie at all?

277
00:16:11,467 --> 00:16:14,027
Because if I don't have this,
what do I have? I have nothing.

278
00:16:14,470 --> 00:16:17,804
Really? You can't think of
anything else that you might have?

279
00:16:17,874 --> 00:16:20,571
I have my book on business,
Somehow I Manage.

280
00:16:20,843 --> 00:16:24,678
I have my HBO comedy special,
"Here I Go Again..."

281
00:16:24,747 --> 00:16:26,682
But, you know what?
When I think about it,

282
00:16:26,749 --> 00:16:30,083
when I really think about it,
none of those things

283
00:16:30,152 --> 00:16:32,348
are as real to me
as my movie.

284
00:16:33,523 --> 00:16:34,547
I'm real.

285
00:16:34,757 --> 00:16:36,783
Yeah, you're
a real pain in the ass.

286
00:16:37,493 --> 00:16:38,893
And now, I'm gonna
go watch the movie

287
00:16:39,028 --> 00:16:40,428
with people who
think it's great.

288
00:16:40,496 --> 00:16:43,193
And I'm sorry I called
you a pain in the ass.

289
00:16:43,266 --> 00:16:45,292
I'm angry, and I love you.

290
00:16:47,970 --> 00:16:49,598
I love you, too.

291
00:16:49,672 --> 00:16:52,767
I am a huge Woody Allen fan.

292
00:16:52,842 --> 00:16:54,606
Although I've only seen Antz.

293
00:16:54,677 --> 00:16:57,772
But I'll tell you something,
what I respect about that man

294
00:16:57,847 --> 00:16:59,042
is that when he
was going through

295
00:16:59,115 --> 00:17:01,277
all of that stuff that
came out in the press,

296
00:17:01,350 --> 00:17:04,411
about how Antz was just
a rip-off of A Bug's Life,

297
00:17:04,487 --> 00:17:07,980
he stayed true to his films.

298
00:17:08,057 --> 00:17:11,221
Or at least the film that I
saw, which, again, was Antz.

299
00:17:11,294 --> 00:17:12,956
Thing is,

300
00:17:13,029 --> 00:17:14,793
I thought A Bug's
Life was better,

301
00:17:14,864 --> 00:17:17,424
much better than Antz.

302
00:17:17,500 --> 00:17:20,698
Point is, don't listen
to your critics.

303
00:17:20,770 --> 00:17:23,330
Listen to your fans.

304
00:17:25,474 --> 00:17:27,033
Who likes Threat
Level Midnight?

305
00:17:28,277 --> 00:17:30,712
Okay, well, then who wants
to watch the rest?

306
00:17:34,250 --> 00:17:37,152
Michael, you have to get
to that puck before halftime

307
00:17:37,219 --> 00:17:39,211
or the whole
stadium will explode.

308
00:17:39,288 --> 00:17:42,554
I know. It's a good thing my trainer
and mentor is here to cheer me on.

309
00:17:42,625 --> 00:17:43,786
Cherokee Jack?

310
00:17:43,859 --> 00:17:46,658
Michael, he died.

311
00:17:54,303 --> 00:17:56,568
This one's for you,
Cherokee Jack.

312
00:18:08,150 --> 00:18:09,641
We filmed this
during an actual

313
00:18:09,785 --> 00:18:11,310
Scranton High School
hockey game.

314
00:18:11,387 --> 00:18:13,083
They were trying to
qualify for states...

315
00:18:13,456 --> 00:18:15,186
It's fine. It's great.

316
00:18:15,257 --> 00:18:18,489
No, no. Actually, it was
really screwed up because

317
00:18:18,561 --> 00:18:20,928
they were trying to qualify.

318
00:18:20,997 --> 00:18:23,125
They were disqualified.
They had to forfeit the game.

319
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:27,193
Undefeated season. That's why
there were so many people there.

320
00:18:30,206 --> 00:18:32,175
Why is your face gold?

321
00:18:32,241 --> 00:18:33,903
Why do you care?

322
00:18:33,976 --> 00:18:36,411
I'm just making conversation.

323
00:18:36,479 --> 00:18:39,108
I worked in a gold factory.

324
00:18:39,181 --> 00:18:41,343
We had a boss who
only cared about money.

325
00:18:41,417 --> 00:18:43,215
Hey.
Hey, I'm sorry.

326
00:18:43,285 --> 00:18:44,651
It is good.

327
00:18:44,787 --> 00:18:46,187
No, no, it's not.

328
00:18:46,255 --> 00:18:48,247
It's not.

329
00:18:48,324 --> 00:18:51,852
But they really seem
to be enjoying it. Come on.

330
00:18:51,927 --> 00:18:53,589
Please,
Goldenface, let us go!

331
00:19:02,104 --> 00:19:03,367
Cherokee Jack.

332
00:19:03,439 --> 00:19:05,999
I want you to take
all your frustrations

333
00:19:06,075 --> 00:19:08,544
with women,
the system, with everything,

334
00:19:09,178 --> 00:19:10,737
take it out on the puck.

335
00:19:11,147 --> 00:19:12,775
All on the puck.

336
00:19:38,207 --> 00:19:41,143
Hey, we got
sports games again.

337
00:19:47,650 --> 00:19:48,743
Oh...

338
00:19:58,327 --> 00:20:02,264
Some breakfast for me,
some breakfast for you.

339
00:20:06,802 --> 00:20:10,000
Yeah, I guess I did
let him be a robot.

340
00:20:10,272 --> 00:20:11,865
I'll get it.

341
00:20:11,941 --> 00:20:13,432
Man, I love being retired.

342
00:20:14,243 --> 00:20:15,267
Scarn here.

343
00:20:15,344 --> 00:20:17,313
Michael, it's the President.
Hello, sir.

344
00:20:17,379 --> 00:20:18,938
I need you for
another mission.

345
00:20:21,951 --> 00:20:22,975
Yeah, I'm in.

346
00:20:25,454 --> 00:20:28,185
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa,
isn't the President evil?

347
00:20:28,758 --> 00:20:32,024
Oh, yeah. Yes, he is.

348
00:20:32,094 --> 00:20:33,892
No, no, he's doing it
to catch the President.

349
00:20:33,963 --> 00:20:36,558
No, no, Dwight,
he's just being stupid.

350
00:20:38,067 --> 00:20:42,004
Well, Michael Scarn
was back in the game.

351
00:20:42,071 --> 00:20:43,403
And I bet you're wondering

352
00:20:43,506 --> 00:20:47,773
why do I know so much
about Michael Scarn?

353
00:20:47,843 --> 00:20:51,336
Well, because
I am Michael Scarn.

354
00:20:52,335 --> 00:21:02,335
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