1
00:00:01,034 --> 00:00:04,266
So, coasting time
is officially over.

2
00:00:04,705 --> 00:00:07,903
Big changes are coming,
and they're coming fast.

3
00:00:08,609 --> 00:00:10,202
If you don't like 'em,

4
00:00:10,277 --> 00:00:12,769
this is called a door, you
can walk right through it.

5
00:00:12,879 --> 00:00:14,438
All right? I'm not
here to be your friend.

6
00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:17,011
I like my life
outside of this place.

7
00:00:17,084 --> 00:00:19,019
I live to leave at 5:00.

8
00:00:19,786 --> 00:00:21,618
Change number one, Darryl.

9
00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:26,023
Per your request, the company is sending
you to business school at night.

10
00:00:26,093 --> 00:00:27,925
Full ride, deal with it.

11
00:00:28,829 --> 00:00:31,298
Seriously?
Stone-cold seriously.

12
00:00:31,531 --> 00:00:35,696
They are trying to figure me
out, and I don't like it.

13
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:41,365
Once they figure me out, they start
to tell me what I want to hear.

14
00:00:41,441 --> 00:00:44,036
And I need to quickly figure
out who's a good worker,

15
00:00:44,111 --> 00:00:47,013
and who is simply
a good mind reader.

16
00:00:47,414 --> 00:00:50,145
Because as soon as I'm
hearing what I wanna hear,

17
00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:51,980
I'm not gonna care.

18
00:00:52,352 --> 00:00:54,321
Change two, Toby.
You're getting a new chair.

19
00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:57,421
Thanks.
Don't thank me.

20
00:00:57,658 --> 00:00:59,627
Hey, don't thank me, guy.

21
00:01:00,027 --> 00:01:01,120
Okay?

22
00:01:01,194 --> 00:01:02,457
I don't care
if you like it.

23
00:01:02,529 --> 00:01:05,465
These sound like good ideas,
why wouldn't we like them?

24
00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:08,831
I don't care what
your favorite flavor is.

25
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:11,599
Here's a bowl of ice cream, you
either like it or you don't.

26
00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:14,201
That's my attitude
right now in this room,

27
00:01:14,274 --> 00:01:17,540
that's my attitude on
"Ice Cream Thursdays."

28
00:01:18,378 --> 00:01:19,710
All right?

29
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,275
Clear? Any questions?

30
00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:23,481
This all sounds great to me.

31
00:01:27,354 --> 00:01:31,018
But I could see how some people
might think that they're bad.

32
00:01:32,559 --> 00:01:34,118
I don't know what to think.

33
00:01:34,995 --> 00:01:36,395
That is a...

34
00:01:37,030 --> 00:01:39,056
An astute observation, Kevin.

35
00:01:39,132 --> 00:01:40,896
Kev's got me pegged.

36
00:01:42,100 --> 00:01:48,174
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

37
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,297
It blows away
Vermont in the fall.

38
00:02:17,370 --> 00:02:18,633
Snap, for real?

39
00:02:18,705 --> 00:02:19,900
Not even...
Good morning, Deangelo.

40
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:21,134
Hold on, Pam.
Okay.

41
00:02:21,208 --> 00:02:22,574
And if you're really serious,

42
00:02:23,443 --> 00:02:24,570
you should go in the spring.

43
00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:26,744
'Cause of the flowers.
No.

44
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:29,544
Because the entire
state smells like earth.

45
00:02:29,616 --> 00:02:30,709
Dogwoods,
or just the earth?

46
00:02:31,451 --> 00:02:32,441
Yes, Pam.

47
00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:35,618
Hey, well, good morning. I think
I have good news for you today.

48
00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:38,591
I found your new executive
assistant, my friend, Carla.

49
00:02:38,725 --> 00:02:40,250
She's got
great experience,

50
00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:42,319
we even considered
making her Cece's godmother,

51
00:02:42,395 --> 00:02:43,761
but she had this
boyfriend at the time.

52
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:45,355
But here's her resume.
Put it with the rest.

53
00:02:45,465 --> 00:02:46,558
Okay.

54
00:02:47,067 --> 00:02:48,535
Hey, dudes.
Hey.

55
00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:49,661
Hey.

56
00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:52,135
Oh, my God, he hates me.
No, he doesn't.

57
00:02:52,205 --> 00:02:53,969
You just get so nervous
and hyper around him.

58
00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:55,838
I know. Every time
there's a silence,

59
00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:57,741
your brain's, like...

60
00:02:57,844 --> 00:02:59,938
Is that what he tells you at your
little inner circle meetings?

61
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:01,948
Careful,
there is no inner circle.

62
00:03:03,116 --> 00:03:05,551
Oh, there is an inner circle.
Oh, yeah.

63
00:03:06,419 --> 00:03:07,978
There is no inner circle.

64
00:03:08,321 --> 00:03:12,486
Deangelo just prefers to delegate
a few things to a few guys.

65
00:03:12,759 --> 00:03:16,287
Jim only says that because
he's in the inner circle.

66
00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:21,296
I also say that because I am
also in the inner circle.

67
00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:23,965
Did you get that, ma?

68
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:28,566
Your boy, Kevin Malone,
is in the inner circle,

69
00:03:31,978 --> 00:03:33,742
which doesn't exist.

70
00:03:37,450 --> 00:03:39,385
There he is.
Got you coffee.

71
00:03:39,452 --> 00:03:42,354
Oh, wow, thank you,
that was so kind of you.

72
00:03:45,258 --> 00:03:46,487
Not a coffee guy,
I take it, huh?

73
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,529
It's just that I
own the coffee shop.

74
00:03:48,595 --> 00:03:51,292
So once you've seen
sausage being made,

75
00:03:51,598 --> 00:03:53,863
all you wanna do is make sausage
'cause it's so much fun.

76
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:58,395
Listen, I've got a sixer, Automatic
for the People on the jukebox.

77
00:03:58,972 --> 00:04:01,203
Let's hit the park
after sundown, come on.

78
00:04:01,274 --> 00:04:02,367
Pick up some sausage
if you want.

79
00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:06,837
I think you'll find what
you're looking for over there.

80
00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:14,121
No matter how many times
I reach out to Dwight,

81
00:04:14,187 --> 00:04:17,123
he doesn't seem to want
anything to do with me.

82
00:04:17,224 --> 00:04:19,625
It reminds me of my
relationship with my son.

83
00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:21,889
Except there,
I'm the Dwight.

84
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:23,825
Who's the biggest
client in the state?

85
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:26,059
I say we go get 'em,
whatever it takes.

86
00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:27,594
What do you guys say?

87
00:04:28,235 --> 00:04:29,396
Yes.
Right?

88
00:04:29,469 --> 00:04:33,167
Let's do it. Or my other
idea, 50,000 tiny clients.

89
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:36,039
Yeah, I say that
we just go for it.

90
00:04:37,477 --> 00:04:39,002
Is that ball
lighter than usual?

91
00:04:39,145 --> 00:04:40,238
Is that
a Chinatown knockoff?

92
00:04:40,380 --> 00:04:41,473
That's Toys "R" Us,
I think.

93
00:04:41,548 --> 00:04:42,811
No, that's definitely
a knockoff.

94
00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:44,647
You can feel the center
of gravity is off.

95
00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:46,186
Feel that,
what do you think?

96
00:04:46,319 --> 00:04:47,810
Oh, yeah, totally.

97
00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:49,049
Jim, you got
ripped off big time.

98
00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:50,384
Deangelo!

99
00:04:51,524 --> 00:04:53,356
See what I did there?
That's what you need to do.

100
00:04:53,426 --> 00:04:55,952
Just add a little English.
The British are coming.

101
00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:57,429
- Yes.
- Deangelo's open!

102
00:04:58,031 --> 00:05:00,660
Hey, Ry. Your department's
killing it, baby.

103
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:02,965
Hey! My pleasure,
my treasure.

104
00:05:03,270 --> 00:05:04,260
Keep it up.

105
00:05:04,371 --> 00:05:09,275
The problem with having
it, or, the X factor,

106
00:05:09,342 --> 00:05:11,436
or whatever it is
you wanna call it,

107
00:05:11,511 --> 00:05:14,709
is that it's impossible
to put into words

108
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:18,077
what you're
bringing to the table.

109
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:21,087
So, to make things simpler for
Deangelo, I just, without lying,

110
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:24,124
strongly implied that
I'm Kelly's supervisor.

111
00:05:24,190 --> 00:05:25,886
It's not even that
much of a stretch.

112
00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:27,756
She pretty much
does whatever I say.

113
00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:30,387
What? I'm sorry, I'm
sorry, I'm sorry.

114
00:05:30,463 --> 00:05:32,227
Why should I pretend
that you are my boss?

115
00:05:32,299 --> 00:05:34,165
Because what would you have
done in that situation, Kelly?

116
00:05:34,234 --> 00:05:36,863
I'll tell you what I would have
done for you. I'd lie for you.

117
00:05:36,937 --> 00:05:39,202
Yeah, but you lie all the time.
You lie for no reason.

118
00:05:39,372 --> 00:05:40,670
Ryan, you just
like to lie.

119
00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:42,001
I'd die for you, too.

120
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:43,999
You really would?

121
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:47,803
Hey, Kelly Kapoor, if I don't
have those call logs on my desk,

122
00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:51,443
we're just gonna have to evaluate
your future at the company.

123
00:05:52,252 --> 00:05:53,811
Sure thing, Mr. Howard.

124
00:05:54,287 --> 00:05:55,846
Glad he's not my boss.

125
00:05:58,091 --> 00:05:59,081
You're the best, thank you.

126
00:06:03,296 --> 00:06:06,357
You know, I have a cousin
who cracked the secret formula

127
00:06:06,433 --> 00:06:08,595
for a certain popular cola
that I shall not name.

128
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:12,695
So I've never had to buy it.
True story.

129
00:06:12,772 --> 00:06:14,172
I just drink
my cousin's.

130
00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:16,573
Congratulations
on your one cousin.

131
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:19,077
I have 70, each one
better than the last.

132
00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:23,777
You know what? Straight up,
why don't you like me?

133
00:06:23,950 --> 00:06:27,182
I'm just not a suck up like
everyone else around here, okay?

134
00:06:27,487 --> 00:06:30,946
I do my job well, so why don't
you just leave me alone,

135
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,386
and let me do it. Okay?

136
00:06:34,694 --> 00:06:35,992
Oh, no.

137
00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:37,052
What...
Okay?

138
00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:39,561
I'm gonna win you over.
No, you're not.

139
00:06:39,632 --> 00:06:40,622
Yes, I am.
No.

140
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:41,724
Oh, yes.
No.

141
00:06:41,801 --> 00:06:42,791
Yes.
No.

142
00:06:42,869 --> 00:06:43,859
Yes!
No!

143
00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:45,200
Yes! Yes!
No! No!

144
00:06:45,271 --> 00:06:48,503
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

145
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:50,544
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes...

146
00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:52,101
Uh-oh.

147
00:06:52,178 --> 00:06:54,170
This former
administrative assistant

148
00:06:54,314 --> 00:06:56,340
misspelled "administrative,"
and "assistant."

149
00:06:56,783 --> 00:06:58,274
The winner.

150
00:06:58,351 --> 00:07:03,255
Under special skills,
Mr. Don Finer put juggling.

151
00:07:05,658 --> 00:07:07,854
What's wrong with juggling,
Darryl?

152
00:07:07,994 --> 00:07:09,656
I'm a big juggler.

153
00:07:09,829 --> 00:07:12,298
I actually perform a
motivational juggling routine.

154
00:07:12,632 --> 00:07:14,430
Seriously?
Oh, yeah.

155
00:07:15,635 --> 00:07:17,797
I'd do it for you
here, but...

156
00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:20,397
What would you say this room is?
300 square feet? 320?

157
00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:23,275
Three-twenty,
just free-balling it.

158
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:25,643
It's a little cramped.

159
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:29,045
How many square feet out there?
Seventeen, eighteen hundo?

160
00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:30,879
Oh, I think it's 18 hundo.

161
00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:33,384
Give or take.

162
00:07:33,853 --> 00:07:35,253
Sorry, gang.

163
00:07:35,355 --> 00:07:38,519
I thought my juggling stuff was in
the trunk of my car, but it's not.

164
00:07:38,591 --> 00:07:40,753
Oh, no, do you think
it was stolen?

165
00:07:40,827 --> 00:07:42,193
I got you
covered, boss.

166
00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:44,959
Used to play with
the parabolas myself.

167
00:07:45,765 --> 00:07:48,428
Got some extra balls.
Hey! Oh!

168
00:07:48,768 --> 00:07:52,762
Sorry, I never touch another
juggler's instruments.

169
00:07:54,441 --> 00:07:56,910
You know, we're all here,
I've got the music cued.

170
00:07:56,976 --> 00:07:59,172
Why don't I just do my routine
without the juggling balls?

171
00:08:00,780 --> 00:08:04,012
Prepare to go
into the danger zone.

172
00:08:08,955 --> 00:08:10,981
Oh, wow, you weren't kidding.
No, never.

173
00:08:12,358 --> 00:08:17,422
Can someone please throw me a fifth ball?
If you dare.

174
00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:20,261
Incoming!

175
00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:21,924
And we're on.

176
00:08:23,069 --> 00:08:25,436
Remember,
nothing's impossible.

177
00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:41,281
Phyllis, where's Phyllis?

178
00:08:41,654 --> 00:08:42,678
Here.

179
00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:45,319
Do you believe
in me, Phyllis?

180
00:08:45,391 --> 00:08:47,087
Yes.
'Cause I believe in you.

181
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,719
Oh, okay.

182
00:08:53,166 --> 00:08:54,156
Feel that connection?

183
00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:58,194
Don't move your head,
please, thank you.

184
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,238
Big hand for Phyllis.

185
00:09:02,809 --> 00:09:04,038
That took a lot of guts.

186
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:13,678
I'm Deangelo Vickers.

187
00:09:13,753 --> 00:09:15,779
Thank you so much.
Hope you learned something.

188
00:09:18,758 --> 00:09:21,387
He didn't drop
a single ball.

189
00:09:22,929 --> 00:09:23,919
Look.

190
00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:26,156
I'm juggling eggs
and bowling balls.

191
00:09:26,766 --> 00:09:28,200
I'm juggling with one hand.

192
00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:30,192
No hands.

193
00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:34,907
What could he possibly stand to
gain from a fake juggling routine?

194
00:09:34,974 --> 00:09:38,308
What could he possibly stand to
gain from a real juggling routine?

195
00:09:38,378 --> 00:09:40,210
How can you
keep defending him?

196
00:09:40,346 --> 00:09:42,542
He's good at his job,
and I like working for him.

197
00:09:42,615 --> 00:09:45,312
Of course you do, Jim.
You're a man.

198
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:47,653
Deangelo is a huge sexist.

199
00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:49,018
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

200
00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:51,580
I think if he was sexist,
I'd be able to tell.

201
00:09:51,791 --> 00:09:54,158
I took a crap load of women's
studies courses at Cornell.

202
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,893
And I wrote my own companion
piece to The Vagina Monologues,

203
00:09:56,963 --> 00:09:59,728
called The Penis Apologies.
So I know a thing or two.

204
00:09:59,799 --> 00:10:01,028
Okay, then how about

205
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:02,728
I'm the head of
the accounting department,

206
00:10:02,802 --> 00:10:04,703
but he only ever
talks to Kevin.

207
00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:07,263
What about Pam and Kelly?
Also department heads,

208
00:10:07,340 --> 00:10:08,933
but has he ever
met with you?

209
00:10:09,008 --> 00:10:10,772
Or even asked you
to do anything?

210
00:10:15,481 --> 00:10:17,313
How could I not see it?
You're so right.

211
00:10:17,517 --> 00:10:18,985
Why don't you
talk to him about it?

212
00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:22,181
And say what? "Hey, Deangelo,
are you shy or just a sexist?"

213
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:24,553
Why don't you just tell him how
his actions are being perceived

214
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:25,956
by the women
in this office?

215
00:10:26,025 --> 00:10:27,015
Mmm-hmm.

216
00:10:27,493 --> 00:10:31,089
And if he doesn't listen, then
he can kiss his penis goodbye.

217
00:10:31,364 --> 00:10:33,424
Snip-snip.
Am I right, girls?

218
00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:37,160
Hey, you got a second?

219
00:10:37,403 --> 00:10:39,895
Yeah, I got tons of time,
this job's a joke.

220
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:40,963
So what's up?

221
00:10:42,675 --> 00:10:45,702
Really, it's nothing. I was
just talking to Angela.

222
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:46,969
And she was...

223
00:10:47,347 --> 00:10:49,839
Hey. Saw Jim come in,
are we meeting?

224
00:10:50,049 --> 00:10:51,745
Yeah, sure,
let's make it a meeting.

225
00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:53,150
If it's all right,
can I just have, like,

226
00:10:53,286 --> 00:10:54,618
one minute alone,
just to go over...

227
00:10:54,687 --> 00:10:57,555
What's the big secret?
Why are you even whispering?

228
00:10:57,624 --> 00:10:59,058
Come on, it's the guys.

229
00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:00,660
I know, just the guys.

230
00:11:01,127 --> 00:11:04,291
Well, maybe that's part
of the problem, I think.

231
00:11:04,564 --> 00:11:07,534
So what happened was I was talking
to some of the department heads.

232
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,068
Right.

233
00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:11,330
Some of the female department heads.
Uh-oh.

234
00:11:11,437 --> 00:11:12,427
- Yeah.
- Right?

235
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:15,100
Hot. Maybe there's
a vibe out there

236
00:11:15,541 --> 00:11:17,305
with certain members
of the office

237
00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:22,748
that you are
a little sexist, or...

238
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:24,848
Damn!
Whoa!

239
00:11:24,917 --> 00:11:28,012
Wait. Are you serious?
Who feels this way?

240
00:11:28,955 --> 00:11:31,288
Oh, like, nobody, it was... Pam?

241
00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:32,518
- Was it Pam?
- Oh, my gosh.

242
00:11:32,592 --> 00:11:34,754
That sounds like Pam.
You know how she gets.

243
00:11:34,827 --> 00:11:37,626
Deangelo,
she can get really bitchy.

244
00:11:38,298 --> 00:11:39,960
- Kevin...
- Guys.

245
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:42,659
Hold on.
Doesn't matter who, okay?

246
00:11:43,569 --> 00:11:45,470
I'm just happy that Jim
brought it to my attention,

247
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,473
because, honestly,
I had no idea.

248
00:11:48,274 --> 00:11:50,038
That's awesome.
Thank you.

249
00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:53,005
Mom, Ryan's taking us
out to dinner tonight.

250
00:11:53,079 --> 00:11:55,913
No, no, he's not gonna stand
us up like he did last time.

251
00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:57,678
He won't ever
stand us up again.

252
00:11:57,750 --> 00:12:00,117
So I am the new Customer
Service supervisor...

253
00:12:00,186 --> 00:12:01,882
When Deangelo's around.

254
00:12:03,022 --> 00:12:06,288
And I'm also a very
dutiful boyfriend when...

255
00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:08,726
All the time.
All the time.

256
00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:11,597
Erin, do you mind
running down to the lobby

257
00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:14,099
and bringing up my brand new
executive assistant?

258
00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:15,963
Absolutely. Hey, who'd
you end up hiring?

259
00:12:16,502 --> 00:12:17,561
I'm glad you asked, Jim.

260
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:19,830
Because, apparently,
there's a rumor

261
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:21,568
running around here
that I'm a sexist.

262
00:12:21,841 --> 00:12:22,968
Mmm-hmm.

263
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:27,480
I can't work here effectively if you
guys think I'm something that I'm not.

264
00:12:27,547 --> 00:12:28,674
I'm not a sexist.

265
00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:33,079
Raise your hand if
you have a vagina.

266
00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:44,093
Raise your hand if someone
you love has a vagina.

267
00:12:44,997 --> 00:12:47,990
Yeah, yeah, okay.
Just about everyone.

268
00:12:48,801 --> 00:12:50,099
What about Deangelo's hand?

269
00:12:51,037 --> 00:12:53,802
Oh, wow.
He's got 'em both up.

270
00:12:55,074 --> 00:12:56,064
Yeah.

271
00:12:57,176 --> 00:12:58,166
Uh-huh.

272
00:12:58,845 --> 00:13:00,643
Yeah. So it bothers me,

273
00:13:01,581 --> 00:13:04,176
when I hear that
there's gossip around here

274
00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:06,276
that I treat women
lesser than men.

275
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:08,715
Okay? Frankly,

276
00:13:09,155 --> 00:13:12,057
we all look a little
ridiculous when that happens.

277
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:13,491
I'm not a feminist,

278
00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:15,954
but I think that
the men in this office

279
00:13:16,028 --> 00:13:18,361
are being given chances
that the women aren't.

280
00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:19,755
Dwight.

281
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:21,456
What's your take?

282
00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:22,591
What's the argument here?

283
00:13:22,668 --> 00:13:25,832
One is a sport,
one is a joke.

284
00:13:26,105 --> 00:13:27,596
I love sports, I love jokes.

285
00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:30,567
Room for all.
Man, you're smart.

286
00:13:31,844 --> 00:13:34,575
Oh, hey! Hi. Hello.
Hi.

287
00:13:34,747 --> 00:13:39,879
Welcome. Everyone, I'd like you to
please welcome Jordan Garfield.

288
00:13:41,220 --> 00:13:42,848
This is everyone.
Hello.

289
00:13:43,122 --> 00:13:45,353
So, Jordan,
where did you work before?

290
00:13:46,292 --> 00:13:47,316
A law office?

291
00:13:47,393 --> 00:13:48,383
No, Anthropologie.

292
00:13:49,595 --> 00:13:52,326
"We don't have this and
that size." Pretty lame.

293
00:13:52,598 --> 00:13:54,692
Lame? You worked
at Anthropologie?

294
00:13:54,801 --> 00:13:56,429
Yeah. That's, like,
my dream job.

295
00:13:56,502 --> 00:13:57,492
How did you even
get that job?

296
00:13:57,804 --> 00:13:59,534
Well, I... You chose
this job over that job?

297
00:13:59,605 --> 00:14:01,130
Okay, okay,
back to work, Kelly.

298
00:14:01,207 --> 00:14:03,176
We have a lot to
get done today.

299
00:14:03,743 --> 00:14:06,838
So, is this your
first office job then?

300
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:08,475
Yeah.
Yup.

301
00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:11,348
Wow. No corporate
experience whatsoever.

302
00:14:11,617 --> 00:14:13,677
I didn't want anyone
with any bad habits.

303
00:14:13,753 --> 00:14:14,743
Nice.

304
00:14:17,056 --> 00:14:18,888
Jim, are you coming?

305
00:14:19,559 --> 00:14:21,391
- Oh, yeah, did he text us?
- Yeah.

306
00:14:25,465 --> 00:14:26,489
No!

307
00:14:28,234 --> 00:14:29,395
Jim, what are you doing?
Get in there.

308
00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:32,004
This is not the time to take a
stand, at least he likes one of us.

309
00:14:32,071 --> 00:14:33,869
He didn't text me.
Yes!

310
00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:35,664
I'm in.

311
00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:37,403
Andy, what are you doing?

312
00:14:38,344 --> 00:14:40,904
I'm going in into
the belly of the beast.

313
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:44,007
I'm gonna infiltrate
and change from within.

314
00:14:46,252 --> 00:14:47,584
What's up, man cave?

315
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:52,692
Just go in.
Hmm?

316
00:14:52,925 --> 00:14:54,450
Just go in, he probably
just forgot to text you.

317
00:14:54,827 --> 00:14:56,853
Internally for office use,

318
00:14:58,164 --> 00:15:00,065
where do we get
our paper from?

319
00:15:00,132 --> 00:15:01,259
Do we go and...

320
00:15:02,201 --> 00:15:03,225
Do we have that system?
Don't worry,

321
00:15:03,302 --> 00:15:04,326
the first day's
always the hardest.

322
00:15:04,470 --> 00:15:05,494
Yeah.

323
00:15:09,375 --> 00:15:10,468
Hey, Jim.
Yeah?

324
00:15:12,011 --> 00:15:13,274
Can I help you?
Nope.

325
00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:15,537
Just...

326
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:24,246
Okay.

327
00:15:39,138 --> 00:15:42,074
So, he kicked you out
of the inner circle, huh?

328
00:15:42,141 --> 00:15:44,372
No, there is no
inner circle.

329
00:15:46,512 --> 00:15:47,502
Dwight?

330
00:15:47,914 --> 00:15:50,383
Deangelo wanted me to ask you if there's
anything I could help you with?

331
00:15:50,716 --> 00:15:51,706
Really?

332
00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:53,575
Anything?

333
00:15:54,020 --> 00:15:55,386
Do you need anything?

334
00:15:55,588 --> 00:15:56,578
Deangelo?

335
00:15:56,923 --> 00:15:59,392
Tell your whore
to leave me alone!

336
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:05,625
Okay, I do not wanna waste your
time, so I will keep this brief!

337
00:16:06,065 --> 00:16:08,330
Now, word on the street
is Mercy Hospital,

338
00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:09,891
back on the market.

339
00:16:10,002 --> 00:16:12,528
Deangelo would like you to put
together a sales pitch for next week.

340
00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:16,609
Deangelo has also recently learned
about the Barnacle Project,

341
00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:20,136
which is a non-profit organization
based in Mystic, Connecticut,

342
00:16:20,379 --> 00:16:22,644
that assists in
the scraping of barnacles...

343
00:16:22,748 --> 00:16:24,046
So this is my life

344
00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:26,711
until I win the lottery

345
00:16:29,255 --> 00:16:31,952
or Pam finally writes that
series of young adult books.

346
00:16:32,291 --> 00:16:34,726
So, one afternoon while
walking home from school,

347
00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:36,626
quirky 10th-grader
Becky Walters

348
00:16:36,762 --> 00:16:38,594
finds a wounded
Pegasus in the woods.

349
00:16:39,298 --> 00:16:42,325
And she becomes
"The Horse Flyer."

350
00:16:44,136 --> 00:16:45,798
Hey, Kelly,
that's the last time

351
00:16:45,871 --> 00:16:47,772
I'm gonna talk to you
about your paycheck, okay?

352
00:16:47,873 --> 00:16:50,468
We pay you a fair salary here and
if you're only here for the money,

353
00:16:50,576 --> 00:16:51,942
maybe you shouldn't
be here at all.

354
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:53,502
No one likes
a money grubber.

355
00:16:55,281 --> 00:16:59,412
I'm sorry, Mr. Howard. I apologize
for grubbing for money...

356
00:16:59,885 --> 00:17:03,049
I can't do this. I can't do this.
I'm sorry, I just can't do it.

357
00:17:03,122 --> 00:17:05,216
Deangelo,
Ryan is not my boss, okay?

358
00:17:05,291 --> 00:17:07,317
Frankly, he hasn't had
a real job here in years.

359
00:17:07,426 --> 00:17:08,519
Whoa!

360
00:17:08,961 --> 00:17:10,657
That's hilarious, Kelly.

361
00:17:10,796 --> 00:17:12,526
No, he's just
a big fraud, Deangelo.

362
00:17:12,598 --> 00:17:13,861
He's like Rango.

363
00:17:13,933 --> 00:17:15,526
He doesn't work here,
basically,

364
00:17:15,601 --> 00:17:17,866
just like the way Rango
didn't save those animals.

365
00:17:17,937 --> 00:17:19,405
It was just a big
misunderstanding.

366
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:22,035
Is this true, Ryan?

367
00:17:22,908 --> 00:17:24,001
I did not see Rango.

368
00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:26,774
Okay, I don't have time for
this "he said, she said."

369
00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:28,041
He's not saying anything!

370
00:17:28,114 --> 00:17:29,104
It's too murky.

371
00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:33,283
I like Ryan. You seem
kind of hysterical to me.

372
00:17:34,353 --> 00:17:36,982
Ryan's your supervisor.
Let's just leave it that way.

373
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,651
But it's not fair. I've been working
here for such a long time...

374
00:17:41,527 --> 00:17:42,517
Close call.

375
00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:45,194
Okay, why don't you just finish this
stuff up and leave it on my desk

376
00:17:45,264 --> 00:17:47,130
and I will see you at your
place around 2:00 a.m.?

377
00:17:56,542 --> 00:17:59,205
Oh, angry, angry dunk.

378
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:00,402
Hey.

379
00:18:00,479 --> 00:18:02,107
It sounds like you guys
are having a lot of fun,

380
00:18:02,181 --> 00:18:05,174
but it's really loud and some
of us are trying to work, so...

381
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:07,117
Do you think you could do
it a little more quietly?

382
00:18:07,219 --> 00:18:09,916
Well, that's gonna be tough because
we're getting a dunking clinic

383
00:18:09,989 --> 00:18:11,480
from Magic Jordan himself.

384
00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:13,954
You mean Michael Jordan?

385
00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:17,786
Total brain burp.

386
00:18:17,863 --> 00:18:18,853
I'm no MJ.

387
00:18:19,498 --> 00:18:20,488
Please.

388
00:18:20,599 --> 00:18:23,068
I can do his dunk from
free-throw line, though.

389
00:18:23,135 --> 00:18:24,125
Whoa!

390
00:18:25,304 --> 00:18:28,797
Damn! Mad respect
from a brother!

391
00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:32,978
The man is paying me to take Chinese.
I will say what I need to say.

392
00:18:33,045 --> 00:18:35,981
And soon,
I will say it in Chinese.

393
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:38,550
Okay, well,
it's just really loud.

394
00:18:38,918 --> 00:18:41,478
Okay. We'll keep that
in mind.

395
00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:43,983
All right, ladies. Back to the game.
Do it!

396
00:18:45,024 --> 00:18:47,391
And, Jim, come on in.

397
00:18:48,561 --> 00:18:49,551
You're back in.

398
00:18:52,098 --> 00:18:55,432
You know what? Instead of a game,
why don't we do an exhibition?

399
00:18:55,501 --> 00:18:56,764
Love to see
that dunk of yours.

400
00:18:58,003 --> 00:18:58,993
Yeah, we'll set that up
one day.

401
00:18:59,505 --> 00:19:00,837
Today. Now, maybe.

402
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:02,574
'Cause we have
a hoop downstairs,

403
00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:04,667
and a real ball, so you
don't have to mime it.

404
00:19:06,178 --> 00:19:07,339
Yeah, I don't know.

405
00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:08,837
Why not?

406
00:19:09,281 --> 00:19:10,840
Only because

407
00:19:10,916 --> 00:19:13,442
no one has called NASA
to request a lift off.

408
00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:17,787
Let's go downstairs, okay?
Let's do it.

409
00:19:17,857 --> 00:19:18,847
Pass.

410
00:19:19,391 --> 00:19:20,825
If I wanted to see
a pissing contest,

411
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,394
I'd lock Mose in
the chicken coop.

412
00:19:22,628 --> 00:19:24,096
Damn it, Dwight, enough!

413
00:19:24,897 --> 00:19:28,959
Get your ass downstairs, or
find a new place to sell paper!

414
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,264
Okay,
a little about me.

415
00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:37,970
I respond to
strong leadership.

416
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:40,771
All right, there you go.
Seems a little close.

417
00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,007
You're sure that's
the real foul line?

418
00:19:42,148 --> 00:19:43,309
Fifteen feet
from the baseline.

419
00:19:43,382 --> 00:19:45,180
So you need me
to move it in?

420
00:19:45,484 --> 00:19:47,077
Nah, that's 15.

421
00:19:47,153 --> 00:19:48,143
Yeah.
Okay.

422
00:19:48,287 --> 00:19:50,620
And, you know what,
to make it interesting,

423
00:19:50,689 --> 00:19:52,885
Jordan, why don't you sit
underneath the basket?

424
00:19:52,992 --> 00:19:54,756
Seriously?
Yeah, come on.

425
00:19:54,927 --> 00:19:56,486
I'll dunk over you,
best seat in the house.

426
00:19:56,729 --> 00:19:57,856
I don't... I don't
think I can do that.

427
00:19:58,197 --> 00:19:59,221
I'm holding your jewelry.

428
00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:00,424
Right, yeah.

429
00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:02,596
Okay, fair enough.
Kevin, you do it.

430
00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:03,858
Yes, okay.

431
00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:05,027
Why don't you?

432
00:20:05,104 --> 00:20:06,094
Here?

433
00:20:06,705 --> 00:20:07,695
Someone wanna
sit in Kevin's lap?

434
00:20:07,773 --> 00:20:08,797
Angela?
No.

435
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:10,274
Oscar?
No, thank you.

436
00:20:10,409 --> 00:20:13,004
Okay, Jimmy, this is for you, to
show you that anything is possible.

437
00:20:13,078 --> 00:20:14,444
Fantastic.
All right?

438
00:20:14,513 --> 00:20:16,573
Yup.
This is also for the troops.

439
00:20:25,758 --> 00:20:26,748
Doctor is in!

440
00:20:41,006 --> 00:20:41,996
Now what?

441
00:20:48,113 --> 00:20:49,877
Deangelo?

442
00:20:50,149 --> 00:20:51,276
Oh, my God,
are you all right?

443
00:20:52,985 --> 00:20:55,113
Erin, will you call 911, please?
Okay.

444
00:20:55,688 --> 00:20:57,623
Who should I say is calling?
Erin.

445
00:21:23,749 --> 00:21:25,012
Dry sweat, yeah,
I get it.

446
00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:28,645
Okay, we're gonna
work on it.

447
00:21:29,405 --> 00:21:39,405
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.