1 00:00:01,950 --> 00:00:03,194 We could get Deangelo flowers. 2 00:00:03,453 --> 00:00:05,080 No, you can't get flowers for someone who's in a coma. 3 00:00:05,150 --> 00:00:06,395 They'll wilt before he wakes up. 4 00:00:06,781 --> 00:00:07,993 Yeah, that's true. Good point. 5 00:00:08,062 --> 00:00:11,379 All in favor of the baskets full of chocolates, teddy bears and balloons. 6 00:00:11,454 --> 00:00:14,357 Wait, wait. All in favor of the knapsack 7 00:00:14,430 --> 00:00:16,089 filled with canned goods, chainsaw, 8 00:00:16,158 --> 00:00:19,257 gasoline and emergency radio in case he wakes up post-apocalypse. 9 00:00:22,045 --> 00:00:23,257 Nope. Baskets have it. 10 00:00:23,453 --> 00:00:25,625 So as it turns out, unless you're a young child, 11 00:00:25,694 --> 00:00:29,207 or a prison inmate, you don't need anyone supervising you. 12 00:00:29,629 --> 00:00:32,314 People just come in and do their work on their schedule. 13 00:00:32,926 --> 00:00:35,796 Imagine that. People like us allowed to sell paper. 14 00:00:35,902 --> 00:00:37,309 Unsupervised. 15 00:00:37,405 --> 00:00:38,617 And yet, somehow it works. 16 00:00:39,198 --> 00:00:41,533 Must be because the stakes are so high. 17 00:00:42,045 --> 00:00:43,540 Well, I really appreciate the offer, 18 00:00:43,613 --> 00:00:45,589 but I'm just happy the way things are. 19 00:00:46,749 --> 00:00:48,408 Okay. Thank you. 20 00:00:49,789 --> 00:00:53,271 That was Jo asking me if I wanted to take over as acting manager 21 00:00:53,342 --> 00:00:54,357 while they find a replacement. 22 00:00:54,781 --> 00:00:57,400 I told her I don't wanna mess this up, right? 23 00:00:57,469 --> 00:00:59,063 There's a consensus. People are happy. 24 00:01:05,181 --> 00:01:06,611 Dwight Schrute. 25 00:01:09,693 --> 00:01:10,643 Yes, I would. 26 00:01:12,413 --> 00:01:13,592 Thank you. 27 00:01:14,654 --> 00:01:17,786 Jordan, gather my things from my desk. 28 00:01:28,637 --> 00:01:29,587 Wait. 29 00:01:34,749 --> 00:01:35,765 What have you done? 30 00:01:39,934 --> 00:01:41,047 Mose? 31 00:01:41,757 --> 00:01:44,027 You'll never guess where I am right now. 32 00:02:21,054 --> 00:02:22,461 Can't stay there all day. 33 00:02:22,685 --> 00:02:23,864 I'm coming. 34 00:02:25,437 --> 00:02:27,543 Do I at least get to go with you in this fantasy? 35 00:02:28,734 --> 00:02:29,945 You'd slow me down. 36 00:02:30,237 --> 00:02:33,467 Dwight has been acting manager for three months now. 37 00:02:34,109 --> 00:02:37,012 No, a week. Just feels like three months. 38 00:02:37,597 --> 00:02:40,020 Let's see. We all have to punch into a time clock, 39 00:02:40,093 --> 00:02:42,298 which is very old, very strong, 40 00:02:42,430 --> 00:02:44,667 and has the slot about the size of a finger. 41 00:02:44,862 --> 00:02:46,685 We were all given new business cards, 42 00:02:46,749 --> 00:02:49,238 big enough to set us apart from the competition. 43 00:02:49,310 --> 00:02:52,344 Which is how I learned that our titles are all now junior employee. 44 00:02:52,925 --> 00:02:56,155 Our lunch breaks are staggered to prevent wasting time. 45 00:02:56,637 --> 00:02:59,289 Mine's at 10:30 and I find that the first hour 46 00:02:59,358 --> 00:03:01,017 of the day goes by a lot quicker 47 00:03:01,085 --> 00:03:03,126 than the second seven hours. 48 00:03:03,325 --> 00:03:04,668 Stop stalling! 49 00:03:07,902 --> 00:03:09,179 Come on. 50 00:03:10,782 --> 00:03:16,412 I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America 51 00:03:16,605 --> 00:03:18,940 and to the Republic for which it stands, 52 00:03:19,453 --> 00:03:23,251 one nation under God, indivisible, 53 00:03:23,517 --> 00:03:25,852 with liberty and justice for all. 54 00:03:25,917 --> 00:03:26,899 justice for all. 55 00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:28,119 - Amen. - Excellent. 56 00:03:28,221 --> 00:03:29,847 Morning announcements. 57 00:03:29,917 --> 00:03:33,017 There's been a problem with some people sharing copier codes. 58 00:03:33,085 --> 00:03:36,861 Your copier code is a distinct 21-digit number that is unique to you 59 00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:39,195 and you only, okay? Don't share it. 60 00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:41,434 Jo Bennett, our CEO, will be here today for a high-level meeting 61 00:03:41,502 --> 00:03:42,484 involving Gabe and myself. 62 00:03:42,558 --> 00:03:43,638 Ooh! About what? 63 00:03:44,093 --> 00:03:45,338 That's on a need-to-know basis. 64 00:03:45,597 --> 00:03:47,386 I thought I needed to know for your calendar. 65 00:03:48,253 --> 00:03:49,235 General meet and greet. 66 00:03:50,142 --> 00:03:51,572 So I expect you to be on your best behavior, 67 00:03:51,645 --> 00:03:54,101 which means none of you will be insubordinate, 68 00:03:54,205 --> 00:03:56,279 nor will you foment insurrection. 69 00:03:56,350 --> 00:03:58,871 Question. If we've already fomented insurrection, 70 00:03:58,941 --> 00:04:00,087 may we be grandfathered in? 71 00:04:01,502 --> 00:04:02,451 Define "foment." 72 00:04:02,525 --> 00:04:03,474 You define "foment." 73 00:04:09,534 --> 00:04:11,323 Please take note of the new color-coding system. 74 00:04:14,397 --> 00:04:15,379 Ah-ha! 75 00:04:15,454 --> 00:04:17,015 Oh, my God! What is wrong with you? Got you! 76 00:04:17,085 --> 00:04:18,034 Why are you late? 77 00:04:18,109 --> 00:04:19,091 It's none of your business, actually. 78 00:04:19,165 --> 00:04:20,376 It's very medical and personal. 79 00:04:20,573 --> 00:04:21,916 All right. 80 00:04:22,333 --> 00:04:25,051 You stop me when I reach the diseased area. 81 00:04:33,629 --> 00:04:35,605 In fairness, Darryl did tell me that joke, so... 82 00:04:35,741 --> 00:04:37,749 Oh! Darryl's funny. 83 00:04:37,821 --> 00:04:39,229 I know, right? Hey, Andy? 84 00:04:39,389 --> 00:04:40,852 Yeah? Can I talk to you a second 85 00:04:40,925 --> 00:04:42,300 about these client memos? 86 00:04:42,590 --> 00:04:43,671 Sure. 87 00:04:50,045 --> 00:04:51,508 What's going on? 88 00:04:54,237 --> 00:04:55,383 Are you still in love with Erin? 89 00:04:56,093 --> 00:04:57,042 What? 90 00:04:57,117 --> 00:04:58,067 Because I am. 91 00:04:58,493 --> 00:05:01,528 I need to get her back. I can't be alone anymore. 92 00:05:02,045 --> 00:05:04,697 Andy, do you like being alone with me right now? 93 00:05:05,213 --> 00:05:06,589 - No, this is horrifying. - No, 94 00:05:06,653 --> 00:05:09,436 I don't like being alone with me, either. Okay? 95 00:05:09,501 --> 00:05:11,390 I have to get Erin back. 96 00:05:11,453 --> 00:05:13,177 Are you still gonna date her? 97 00:05:13,245 --> 00:05:15,069 We're just friends, okay? 98 00:05:15,133 --> 00:05:16,661 Do you promise that? 99 00:05:17,181 --> 00:05:19,604 Yeah, fine, I promise. We'll never date again. 100 00:05:19,677 --> 00:05:20,954 Can we go outside now? 101 00:05:21,086 --> 00:05:22,363 No, just give me a second. 102 00:05:22,429 --> 00:05:24,950 I don't want anyone to know I've been crying. 103 00:05:33,437 --> 00:05:35,260 Hey, hey, hey, hey. What do you think you're doing? 104 00:05:35,325 --> 00:05:36,570 What's this? What's The Fist? 105 00:05:36,798 --> 00:05:38,227 It's just a social club. 106 00:05:38,301 --> 00:05:40,539 Like the French Revolution or The Black Panthers or communism. 107 00:05:40,605 --> 00:05:43,224 It's just a club. Guys talking. 108 00:05:43,581 --> 00:05:45,556 You expect me to believe that you're starting a rebellion? 109 00:05:45,789 --> 00:05:47,613 Nope, social club. God, I hate 110 00:05:47,741 --> 00:05:48,952 when everybody calls us a rebellion. 111 00:05:53,437 --> 00:05:55,926 Okay, you know what? I would love to join The Fist. 112 00:05:55,997 --> 00:05:59,260 And we would love to have you, but not today. Unfortunately, it's a bad day, 113 00:05:59,325 --> 00:06:00,985 what with Operation Overthrow and everything. 114 00:06:01,054 --> 00:06:03,575 But I have noted it. 115 00:06:18,781 --> 00:06:19,830 One. 116 00:06:33,149 --> 00:06:34,808 Pam, I have to show you this video. 117 00:06:35,293 --> 00:06:38,523 You're gonna love it. It's Beyonce falling with a fart mixed in. 118 00:06:45,629 --> 00:06:47,572 I will never be happier than I am right now. 119 00:06:48,189 --> 00:06:49,597 I will also never be less happy. 120 00:06:49,662 --> 00:06:53,011 I will be at my current maximum happiness for the rest of my life. 121 00:06:53,085 --> 00:06:56,664 Because I am manager of the Scranton branch of Dunder Mifflin. 122 00:06:58,397 --> 00:06:59,707 Acting manager. 123 00:07:02,845 --> 00:07:06,425 No food now? Someone has to do something about Dwight. 124 00:07:06,813 --> 00:07:09,531 He put some snacks in the freezer for us. 125 00:07:09,597 --> 00:07:11,540 You mean the frozen mice for the piranha? 126 00:07:11,677 --> 00:07:13,849 No, the blueberry slurpy pouch. 127 00:07:14,045 --> 00:07:15,769 Hmm. He means the ice pack. 128 00:07:16,573 --> 00:07:18,462 2:00 should probably be okay. 129 00:07:18,653 --> 00:07:20,923 I can either take your number or... 130 00:07:20,990 --> 00:07:21,939 I'm sorry, this can't wait. 131 00:07:22,205 --> 00:07:23,154 He's just gonna call back. 132 00:07:23,229 --> 00:07:25,117 Erin, I am in love with you. 133 00:07:26,653 --> 00:07:28,247 I don't believe in much, okay? 134 00:07:28,317 --> 00:07:31,547 I don't believe in horoscopes. I don't believe in Christmas. 135 00:07:31,613 --> 00:07:33,469 I sure as hell don't believe in God. 136 00:07:34,781 --> 00:07:35,862 What? 137 00:07:35,997 --> 00:07:37,077 Or maybe there's a God, I don't know. 138 00:07:37,149 --> 00:07:39,190 It's just not a guy with a long, white beard. 139 00:07:40,701 --> 00:07:44,793 Or it could be. It's possible that that is exactly what God is. 140 00:07:45,405 --> 00:07:48,635 But for all of the disbelief, I believe in us. 141 00:07:49,565 --> 00:07:50,810 I believe in love. 142 00:07:51,677 --> 00:07:54,427 You have made me believe that for all of the hokum 143 00:07:54,493 --> 00:07:55,868 out there... 144 00:07:57,309 --> 00:07:58,358 Do we not have voice-mail? 145 00:07:58,845 --> 00:08:01,235 Dwight doesn't trust robots to give us our messages. 146 00:08:02,973 --> 00:08:04,403 Well, 147 00:08:04,477 --> 00:08:05,427 it just... 148 00:08:05,789 --> 00:08:07,645 It messes up my rhythm, but... 149 00:08:08,541 --> 00:08:10,484 I'm taking a break from dating. 150 00:08:10,557 --> 00:08:13,906 Gabe was a great guy with so many wonderful qualities, 151 00:08:13,981 --> 00:08:16,436 but it was a challenge being touched by him. 152 00:08:16,797 --> 00:08:19,132 Wow, you've really embraced the whole Bond villain aesthetic. 153 00:08:19,421 --> 00:08:20,698 Jim, Jim, Jim. 154 00:08:20,765 --> 00:08:22,195 The gun is a Beaumont Adams. 155 00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:25,339 Jo collects them. I thought we could have some nice small talk about it. 156 00:08:25,405 --> 00:08:27,414 And the piranha's a rescue. 157 00:08:27,837 --> 00:08:28,786 And the desk. 158 00:08:29,149 --> 00:08:32,249 The desk is a replica of Uday Hussein's desk. I saw a picture in Newsweek. 159 00:08:32,573 --> 00:08:34,363 Listen, I'm a very busy man, let's get right down to business. 160 00:08:34,429 --> 00:08:35,924 Okay. Jo is coming later today. 161 00:08:35,997 --> 00:08:38,300 I cannot have a subordinate trying to make me look stupid. 162 00:08:38,365 --> 00:08:40,755 Okay? I need you to promise me that you'll be on your best behavior. 163 00:08:40,861 --> 00:08:44,856 I promised other people that I'd be on my worst behavior. 164 00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:46,006 And I gave them my word, so... 165 00:08:46,589 --> 00:08:47,637 Don't make me fire you. 166 00:08:47,709 --> 00:08:50,612 You can't fire me. You're acting manager, not office manager, 167 00:08:50,685 --> 00:08:52,060 so you have no firing powers. 168 00:08:52,829 --> 00:08:54,008 Don't make me pre-fire you. 169 00:08:54,077 --> 00:08:55,354 You wouldn't dare. 170 00:08:55,549 --> 00:08:58,485 Watch this. You're pre-fired. 171 00:08:58,557 --> 00:09:01,241 And when I'm promoted, you'll be full-fired. 172 00:09:02,653 --> 00:09:04,476 If you get promoted. 173 00:09:04,541 --> 00:09:06,265 And if you haven't fallen in love with me by then. 174 00:09:06,589 --> 00:09:07,539 What? 175 00:09:07,613 --> 00:09:09,174 If I had thought that there was a real chance 176 00:09:09,309 --> 00:09:10,871 that Dwight would be permanent manager, 177 00:09:10,941 --> 00:09:12,535 I would have pre-quit. 178 00:09:12,605 --> 00:09:13,587 And you might be saying to yourself, 179 00:09:13,661 --> 00:09:14,971 "Well, that's pretty premature to think." 180 00:09:15,037 --> 00:09:18,812 But I always say, "It's better to be pre-pre-pre-prepared." 181 00:09:20,221 --> 00:09:21,171 How you doing, Jordan? 182 00:09:21,245 --> 00:09:22,227 I'm good. 183 00:09:22,493 --> 00:09:23,639 Everyone here thinks that you're a joke. 184 00:09:24,221 --> 00:09:26,197 They think that you were hired because of your good looks, 185 00:09:26,269 --> 00:09:27,448 which won't last long anyway. 186 00:09:27,517 --> 00:09:29,525 As your pale skin and severe bone structure imply, 187 00:09:29,597 --> 00:09:30,907 you'll age swiftly and poorly. 188 00:09:31,133 --> 00:09:32,508 Why are you telling me this? 189 00:09:32,669 --> 00:09:35,387 Now I want you to find out what people are saying about me. 190 00:09:35,773 --> 00:09:38,392 Things they don't want me to know about. 191 00:09:47,325 --> 00:09:48,536 It's a holster. 192 00:09:54,205 --> 00:09:55,994 Yep. Yep, yep, yep. 193 00:09:58,525 --> 00:09:59,933 Looking good. 194 00:10:04,701 --> 00:10:07,352 What a day. What a day. 195 00:10:08,093 --> 00:10:10,199 Dwight, are you carrying a gun? 196 00:10:10,269 --> 00:10:12,920 The holster was a gift from my great-uncle, Honk. 197 00:10:12,989 --> 00:10:15,095 I don't know. I guess he's saying that he's proud of me. 198 00:10:15,677 --> 00:10:17,816 Dwight, guns make me really uncomfortable. 199 00:10:18,236 --> 00:10:20,277 The gun is just an accessory to the holster, okay? 200 00:10:20,349 --> 00:10:22,652 I can't walk around wearing an empty holster. 201 00:10:22,717 --> 00:10:24,376 Why do you need to wear the holster at all? 202 00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:25,491 Why do you need to keep wearing 203 00:10:25,629 --> 00:10:26,611 those booby shirts all the time? 204 00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:27,826 Thank you. 205 00:10:27,901 --> 00:10:29,658 You could put your cell phone in it instead. 206 00:10:30,301 --> 00:10:31,415 Hello. 207 00:10:31,773 --> 00:10:33,268 You could put a banana in it. 208 00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:34,869 Why would I put a banana in my holster? 209 00:10:35,005 --> 00:10:38,323 In case you weren't hungry now, but you got hungry later. 210 00:10:38,909 --> 00:10:41,462 Dwight, no gun, okay? Don't make us call Jo. 211 00:10:41,661 --> 00:10:44,313 Okay, all right, fine. Everyone calm down. 212 00:10:44,989 --> 00:10:46,877 Someone, get me a banana. 213 00:10:46,973 --> 00:10:48,021 Sorry I freaked you guys out. 214 00:10:49,309 --> 00:10:50,259 Andy! 215 00:10:50,333 --> 00:10:51,795 Ow! God! 216 00:10:53,117 --> 00:10:54,492 It's so loud! 217 00:10:57,405 --> 00:10:58,551 My God. 218 00:10:59,453 --> 00:11:01,821 There is a hardwood floor underneath this carpeting. 219 00:11:01,885 --> 00:11:03,096 Why would they do that? 220 00:11:04,989 --> 00:11:07,990 There's like this crazy ringing going on. I can't... 221 00:11:11,101 --> 00:11:12,312 I can't find perfect C. 222 00:11:12,381 --> 00:11:14,967 Okay, everyone make a list of what's lost for the insurance. 223 00:11:15,037 --> 00:11:17,077 I lost a necklace, a ring, a painting. 224 00:11:17,309 --> 00:11:18,553 Hey, what happened? 225 00:11:18,620 --> 00:11:19,669 Dwight went on a shooting spree 226 00:11:19,805 --> 00:11:20,886 and then he shot Andy in the head. 227 00:11:21,117 --> 00:11:24,314 No, no, no. All we know is that a gun fired. That's all we know. 228 00:11:24,380 --> 00:11:27,447 No, that's not true. Actually, we heard a loud noise, 229 00:11:27,517 --> 00:11:30,387 later a hole was seen. No one saw the bullet leave the gun. 230 00:11:34,909 --> 00:11:35,858 Something's definitely wrong. 231 00:11:36,221 --> 00:11:38,196 I'll look on WebMD. What are your symptoms? 232 00:11:38,269 --> 00:11:40,758 Everybody, Oscar found a reason to look on WebMD. 233 00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:43,160 Firewall. I can't reach Jo. 234 00:11:43,228 --> 00:11:44,178 She must already be on the plane. 235 00:11:44,381 --> 00:11:45,462 Okay, why are you calling Jo? 236 00:11:45,565 --> 00:11:46,646 I think I should go to the hospital. 237 00:11:46,717 --> 00:11:47,895 - I'll go with you. - No! 238 00:11:49,405 --> 00:11:52,275 We really shouldn't be without a receptionist. Now more than ever. 239 00:11:52,413 --> 00:11:53,363 I'll take him. 240 00:11:53,884 --> 00:11:55,478 Thank you, Darryl. 241 00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:02,810 What's wrong with you? 242 00:12:03,132 --> 00:12:04,726 It's my ear. Yeah. 243 00:12:04,796 --> 00:12:05,746 Okay, sorry. 244 00:12:07,101 --> 00:12:09,949 I should get the accident report binder. 245 00:12:10,013 --> 00:12:12,861 I've never used the gun violence forms before. 246 00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:14,775 I'm gonna keep trying Jo. 247 00:12:14,845 --> 00:12:18,108 Okay, everyone, conference room! Right now! 248 00:12:21,821 --> 00:12:23,251 Yee-haw! 249 00:12:23,325 --> 00:12:24,471 Woo-hoo! 250 00:12:26,237 --> 00:12:27,994 Howdy, partners. 251 00:12:28,061 --> 00:12:31,226 It's me, Gun Safety Dwight. 252 00:12:31,836 --> 00:12:33,332 And I'm the rootin'-est... 253 00:12:33,437 --> 00:12:34,932 I can't do this. 254 00:12:35,005 --> 00:12:37,210 Look, obviously a gun went off under my watch 255 00:12:37,277 --> 00:12:39,034 and I'm launching a full investigation. 256 00:12:39,101 --> 00:12:40,444 We all saw you do it. 257 00:12:40,509 --> 00:12:41,819 Really? You did? 258 00:12:41,884 --> 00:12:44,406 What hand was I holding the gun in? What did Andy's tie look like? 259 00:12:44,477 --> 00:12:46,387 Navy blue, little red anchors. 260 00:12:46,461 --> 00:12:47,923 I have no way of knowing if that's true. 261 00:12:47,996 --> 00:12:50,299 I am supposed to collect eyewitness accounts. 262 00:12:50,365 --> 00:12:52,155 Who saw Dwight do this? 263 00:12:52,221 --> 00:12:53,170 Okay, really? 264 00:12:53,245 --> 00:12:54,839 Would you consider this a terrorist incident? 265 00:12:55,037 --> 00:12:55,986 I felt terrorized. 266 00:12:56,284 --> 00:12:57,234 Come on. 267 00:12:57,309 --> 00:12:59,252 Oh! There's a whole other terrorism booklet for that. 268 00:12:59,324 --> 00:13:00,569 I just really, really think 269 00:13:00,701 --> 00:13:01,946 that we should handle this internally. 270 00:13:02,013 --> 00:13:03,737 Dwight, why is it on us to protect you? 271 00:13:03,805 --> 00:13:07,155 Because you guys are my best friends. And I mean that. 272 00:13:07,901 --> 00:13:09,462 Managing you for this last week 273 00:13:09,532 --> 00:13:11,639 has been the greatest honor of my life. 274 00:13:11,709 --> 00:13:15,058 And if you ruin this, I will burn this office to the ground. 275 00:13:16,157 --> 00:13:18,329 And I mean that figuratively, not literally. 276 00:13:18,397 --> 00:13:21,529 Because you guys are so, so important to me. 277 00:13:21,917 --> 00:13:22,997 I love you guys, 278 00:13:23,581 --> 00:13:26,036 but don't cross me, but you're the best. 279 00:13:27,772 --> 00:13:28,919 Hey. 280 00:13:29,532 --> 00:13:30,711 We're back. 281 00:13:30,781 --> 00:13:33,051 There he is, our hero. 282 00:13:33,116 --> 00:13:34,492 You look fantastic. How you doing? 283 00:13:34,621 --> 00:13:35,996 Here, tell us your war stories. 284 00:13:36,060 --> 00:13:37,752 Well, I burst my ear drum. 285 00:13:39,453 --> 00:13:41,308 Doctor said it could take weeks to heal. 286 00:13:41,564 --> 00:13:42,514 Did they say what caused it? 287 00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:44,924 'Cause I know you like putting Q-tips deep into your ear canal. 288 00:13:45,404 --> 00:13:47,194 Yeah. How's your hearing? 289 00:13:47,420 --> 00:13:49,843 Temporary deafness in one ear. It was both ears. 290 00:13:49,917 --> 00:13:51,095 I couldn't hear a thing Darryl was saying 291 00:13:51,229 --> 00:13:52,310 when we were in the waiting room. 292 00:13:53,501 --> 00:13:54,996 I was talking like this... 293 00:13:57,309 --> 00:13:58,717 I don't feel good about it, 294 00:13:58,781 --> 00:14:00,538 but he just kept calling himself 295 00:14:00,604 --> 00:14:02,547 a gunshot victim, and it got to me. 296 00:14:03,005 --> 00:14:04,599 Dwight, I would like tomorrow off so that 297 00:14:04,733 --> 00:14:06,327 I can go on my American Idol audition. 298 00:14:06,493 --> 00:14:07,955 American Idol? What? No. 299 00:14:08,029 --> 00:14:09,885 Okay, I guess I can just not go. 300 00:14:09,949 --> 00:14:10,931 Do you guys wanna hear my solo? 301 00:14:11,005 --> 00:14:11,954 No. 302 00:14:12,061 --> 00:14:15,837 ? Why did my temporary boss go on a shooting spree? 303 00:14:15,901 --> 00:14:17,625 Okay, fine, you can go on your singing audition. 304 00:14:17,692 --> 00:14:19,832 Okay, well, then I want an extra vacation day. 305 00:14:19,901 --> 00:14:22,139 Pet day. I want pet day back, no dogs. 306 00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:24,950 Put back everything in the vending machine, except the fruit. 307 00:14:25,053 --> 00:14:26,461 I put everything back in the vending machine. 308 00:14:26,524 --> 00:14:30,300 Put everything back in the vending machine, except the fruit. 309 00:14:30,876 --> 00:14:32,787 You have to get rid of all your weapons. 310 00:14:32,925 --> 00:14:34,835 All of them, including killer fish. 311 00:14:35,709 --> 00:14:36,757 Okay. 312 00:14:39,709 --> 00:14:41,717 Is it my turn? Oof. I'm on the spot, I don't know. 313 00:14:41,853 --> 00:14:43,893 Um. You know what? I think I'm good. 314 00:14:44,637 --> 00:14:46,198 Thank God. No. When Jo's here, 315 00:14:46,269 --> 00:14:47,699 can you work in "Shagadelic, baby" 316 00:14:47,773 --> 00:14:49,530 at least three times in the conversation? Oh! 317 00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:51,386 And when I cough, can you do jazz hands? 318 00:14:51,805 --> 00:14:53,300 What's jazz hands? 319 00:14:55,165 --> 00:14:56,213 Fine. 320 00:15:09,917 --> 00:15:12,503 What the is that? 321 00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:14,522 Oh, my... 322 00:15:16,285 --> 00:15:17,846 Hey, all! 323 00:15:17,916 --> 00:15:20,634 Cornelius, Bobo, have at it. 324 00:15:20,700 --> 00:15:22,010 Nobody let my dogs hump each other. 325 00:15:22,141 --> 00:15:23,484 They don't seem to know they're brothers. 326 00:15:23,772 --> 00:15:25,334 Hello, Jo. Welcome. 327 00:15:25,469 --> 00:15:26,550 Shall we begin? 328 00:15:26,621 --> 00:15:27,898 Slow yourself down there. 329 00:15:27,964 --> 00:15:30,900 Just like a man, wants to jump right into it while I still got my socks on. 330 00:15:31,645 --> 00:15:34,297 Jim Halpert, the only man to ever turn me down. 331 00:15:34,461 --> 00:15:36,633 I don't know about that. Just wasn't for me. 332 00:15:36,701 --> 00:15:40,826 But let me assure you, Dwight is firing on all cylinders, right? 333 00:15:40,893 --> 00:15:42,901 Well, they're some pretty big shoes to fill. 334 00:15:42,972 --> 00:15:44,631 I was sorry to hear about Deangelo. 335 00:15:44,765 --> 00:15:46,424 He was a good man. It was tragic. 336 00:15:50,077 --> 00:15:52,282 Well, what can you do? Life. 337 00:15:53,725 --> 00:15:55,319 We have to clean this up, now. 338 00:15:55,389 --> 00:15:56,437 She had so much... 339 00:15:56,509 --> 00:15:58,004 Hey, guys. Hey. 340 00:15:58,461 --> 00:15:59,738 Hope I'm not interrupting anything. 341 00:15:59,804 --> 00:16:00,983 No. 342 00:16:02,524 --> 00:16:04,696 Hey, Andy, did you tell Erin about our conversation earlier 343 00:16:04,764 --> 00:16:06,424 when you said you would never want to date her again? 344 00:16:10,876 --> 00:16:11,826 Uh... 345 00:16:13,084 --> 00:16:15,354 I just thought that it was so interesting that you promised that. 346 00:16:16,349 --> 00:16:18,390 Did I say that earlier? 347 00:16:19,133 --> 00:16:20,595 Yes, I did. 348 00:16:22,013 --> 00:16:24,021 Because you, Gabe, were crying. 349 00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:25,943 No, I was not. 350 00:16:26,076 --> 00:16:27,735 And sobbing uncontrollably. Yes. Uh-huh. 351 00:16:27,869 --> 00:16:31,099 You were in hysterics and my maternal instincts kicked in. 352 00:16:31,805 --> 00:16:33,660 Is it actually how I feel? 353 00:16:36,892 --> 00:16:37,908 Yes. 354 00:16:39,229 --> 00:16:40,178 Or no. 355 00:16:40,797 --> 00:16:44,213 That is between me and my diary. 356 00:16:52,412 --> 00:16:54,104 Oscar, can you print out last year's sales statements? 357 00:16:54,172 --> 00:16:55,734 Sure. Hey, Dwight, 358 00:16:55,805 --> 00:16:57,628 give me a back massage. No, Kevin. Come on. 359 00:16:57,725 --> 00:16:59,962 My back is sore, Dwight. Massage it. 360 00:17:00,028 --> 00:17:01,207 Kevin, not now. 361 00:17:01,500 --> 00:17:03,094 Hey, Jo... Okay, okay. 362 00:17:04,669 --> 00:17:06,612 No, under the jacket. 363 00:17:07,389 --> 00:17:08,983 You're kidding me. 364 00:17:09,436 --> 00:17:11,891 Oh, God, what am I touching? It's moist. 365 00:17:12,477 --> 00:17:13,655 I don't feel anything. 366 00:17:13,724 --> 00:17:14,772 It's wet. 367 00:17:15,261 --> 00:17:16,309 Push harder, Dwight. 368 00:17:16,444 --> 00:17:17,492 I can't. 369 00:17:17,564 --> 00:17:19,158 I can't push harder. 370 00:17:19,228 --> 00:17:20,538 Go a little higher. 371 00:17:22,108 --> 00:17:23,058 There. 372 00:17:23,132 --> 00:17:24,082 There you go. No, higher. 373 00:17:24,157 --> 00:17:25,565 I can't... 374 00:17:25,629 --> 00:17:26,611 Higher. 375 00:17:28,124 --> 00:17:29,554 Oh, my God. There we go. 376 00:17:29,629 --> 00:17:31,223 How's that? Knead it. 377 00:17:31,420 --> 00:17:32,370 Knead it like a pizza. 378 00:17:32,445 --> 00:17:33,394 I'm kneading it. 379 00:17:33,501 --> 00:17:35,192 But don't eat it. 380 00:17:35,485 --> 00:17:36,893 Okay. 381 00:17:37,661 --> 00:17:39,156 Dwight, walk me out. 382 00:17:41,820 --> 00:17:44,756 Let's talk soon. And stay on top of these people. 383 00:17:45,021 --> 00:17:46,101 You've got to admit it, 384 00:17:46,172 --> 00:17:48,312 it's nice to have a little power, eh? How's it feel? 385 00:17:52,509 --> 00:17:53,524 Jo, 386 00:17:54,621 --> 00:17:57,109 I accidentally fired a gun in the office today. 387 00:17:57,180 --> 00:17:58,643 What? I am telling you this 388 00:17:58,717 --> 00:18:00,278 because I care too much about this job 389 00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:01,974 to be blackmailed into doing it poorly. 390 00:18:02,909 --> 00:18:05,081 All I've ever wanted is to be manager here. 391 00:18:05,149 --> 00:18:07,092 And if you feel like you cannot promote me 392 00:18:07,165 --> 00:18:09,654 over this one accident, I understand. 393 00:18:09,852 --> 00:18:11,479 But if you think that extortion is worse... 394 00:18:11,549 --> 00:18:14,779 Shooting is worse. Are you kidding me? 395 00:18:15,037 --> 00:18:18,834 It's not even in the same... You shot a gun? What is wrong with you? 396 00:18:18,908 --> 00:18:20,436 It was a Beaumont Adams, if that helps. 397 00:18:20,509 --> 00:18:21,720 Beaumont Adams is a girl's gun. 398 00:18:21,852 --> 00:18:23,064 That just makes it plain stupid. 399 00:18:23,133 --> 00:18:24,344 I take full responsibility. 400 00:18:24,476 --> 00:18:25,786 Who else would be responsible? 401 00:18:26,269 --> 00:18:28,604 Pam made me put a banana in my holster. 402 00:18:28,668 --> 00:18:29,978 You shot a gun off. 403 00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,419 Okay, did I make a mistake? 404 00:18:31,484 --> 00:18:32,630 Yes. 405 00:18:32,733 --> 00:18:35,352 Do I regret the decision that I made? Yes. 406 00:18:35,484 --> 00:18:38,966 Stop asking yourself easy questions so you can look like a genius. 407 00:18:39,164 --> 00:18:40,114 Got it. 408 00:18:40,188 --> 00:18:41,138 I love you, Dwight. 409 00:18:41,629 --> 00:18:43,637 But you don't fit this job. 410 00:18:45,116 --> 00:18:46,361 Jo, please. 411 00:18:46,525 --> 00:18:48,217 No. No, child. I will... 412 00:18:49,020 --> 00:18:50,002 No. 413 00:18:50,205 --> 00:18:51,220 It's over. 414 00:18:52,764 --> 00:18:55,034 Now I've got to find a replacement for my replacement. 415 00:19:05,373 --> 00:19:07,261 You three are my search committee. 416 00:19:07,901 --> 00:19:10,073 You're in charge of finding me my next manager. 417 00:19:10,525 --> 00:19:12,348 All right-y? Yeah. 418 00:19:12,797 --> 00:19:15,448 Till then, we need a new acting manager. 419 00:19:15,517 --> 00:19:17,656 Now who's got the most experience in this office? 420 00:19:20,060 --> 00:19:21,010 Uh, well... 421 00:19:21,148 --> 00:19:23,320 We probably don't wanna go just on seniority. 422 00:19:23,644 --> 00:19:24,856 Who is it? 423 00:19:29,948 --> 00:19:32,022 Hey, Dwight? What's up? 424 00:19:32,636 --> 00:19:33,586 Shut up. 425 00:19:33,661 --> 00:19:34,610 Okay. Well... 426 00:19:35,004 --> 00:19:37,689 You do know that Jo was right to take the job away from you, right? 427 00:19:37,757 --> 00:19:39,416 There's no debating that. 428 00:19:40,733 --> 00:19:43,188 But I will say, in your one week, 429 00:19:43,261 --> 00:19:44,723 every single one of the orders went out on time 430 00:19:46,108 --> 00:19:48,826 and I think that is shagadelic, baby. 431 00:20:06,557 --> 00:20:07,539 Four, 432 00:20:07,613 --> 00:20:08,661 one, 433 00:20:08,733 --> 00:20:09,879 seven, 434 00:20:09,949 --> 00:20:11,291 one. Another one? 435 00:20:11,357 --> 00:20:12,306 Yes! 436 00:20:12,380 --> 00:20:13,428 Seven... 437 00:20:13,500 --> 00:20:14,778 Could you turn the volume down on the beeping? 438 00:20:14,845 --> 00:20:16,155 Six, nine. 439 00:20:16,284 --> 00:20:17,562 Shut up, Oscar. Eight. 440 00:20:17,629 --> 00:20:19,004 Nine first, put the nine. Nine. 441 00:20:19,068 --> 00:20:20,695 Eight. Five. 442 00:20:20,764 --> 00:20:21,713 Thank you. 443 00:20:21,788 --> 00:20:22,999 Three, 444 00:20:23,068 --> 00:20:24,313 zero, 445 00:20:24,380 --> 00:20:26,836 zero, again. Zero. 446 00:20:26,908 --> 00:20:27,924 Okay. 447 00:20:27,996 --> 00:20:29,273 Four. 448 00:20:29,341 --> 00:20:30,552 Six. Nice. 449 00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:31,636 Two, one. 450 00:20:31,773 --> 00:20:32,821 I hit three, I hit three instead. 451 00:20:32,892 --> 00:20:33,841 God!