1
00:00:02,814 --> 00:00:04,106
Oh, for god's sake

2
00:00:07,110 --> 00:00:09,236
Planking is a very stupid
and dangerous trend

3
00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:11,447
Basically you lie like
a plank in weird places

4
00:00:12,157 --> 00:00:13,198
That's it.

5
00:00:13,283 --> 00:00:14,825
Sometimes you get run over

6
00:00:15,577 --> 00:00:16,744
Welcome to the Internet

7
00:00:17,287 --> 00:00:19,621
Planking is one of
those things where

8
00:00:19,956 --> 00:00:22,291
hey, you either
get it or you don't

9
00:00:23,626 --> 00:00:26,462
And I don't.
But I am so excited
to be a part of it.

10
00:00:29,883 --> 00:00:30,883
After you
my good sir

11
00:00:30,967 --> 00:00:31,967
No, I insist

12
00:00:32,052 --> 00:00:33,761
The search committee
finally decided,

13
00:00:33,845 --> 00:00:35,554
after a lot of deliberation

14
00:00:35,638 --> 00:00:38,974
on Robert California
for the manager position

15
00:00:40,185 --> 00:00:42,978
Who took one look
around and left.

16
00:00:43,772 --> 00:00:47,858
He drove down to Florida
and convinced Jo
to make him C.E.O

17
00:00:50,695 --> 00:00:53,155
C.E.O. Her own job

18
00:00:53,865 --> 00:00:55,115
He talked her
out of her own job

19
00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:57,034
and I don't really know
how someone does that

20
00:00:57,160 --> 00:01:00,329
but anyway
then the position
was his to fill

21
00:01:00,997 --> 00:01:02,581
and he chose

22
00:01:08,630 --> 00:01:10,255
It's unbelievable

23
00:01:11,091 --> 00:01:13,092
True. I may have
been tee second choice,

24
00:01:13,176 --> 00:01:15,385
but I was
the first choice's
first choice.

25
00:01:15,470 --> 00:01:16,762
And about Dwight,

26
00:01:16,846 --> 00:01:19,765
have some resentment
about not getting the job

27
00:01:19,849 --> 00:01:21,183
so I sat him down
and we had a talk

28
00:01:21,392 --> 00:01:24,103
And I told him,
"I need a really
strong number two

29
00:01:24,187 --> 00:01:25,437
"I want you to
be my enforcer.'

30
00:01:26,064 --> 00:01:27,564
Smart, right?
Very smart

31
00:01:30,485 --> 00:01:31,693
This has got to stop

32
00:01:33,029 --> 00:01:34,863
Hey! Kevin

33
00:01:36,658 --> 00:01:39,952
Yeah, at first I was
really disappointed

34
00:01:40,036 --> 00:01:42,830
But I've got a great
daily routine going
right now

35
00:01:42,914 --> 00:01:44,623
I've upped my karate
to eight times a week.

36
00:01:44,707 --> 00:01:46,750
I've added boxing
at lunches
and on weekends,

37
00:01:46,835 --> 00:01:49,920
I do kick-boxing
three times a week,
Krav Maga four times a week,

38
00:01:50,004 --> 00:01:52,422
an hour of meditation
every morning at sunrise,

39
00:01:52,507 --> 00:01:54,049
and again at sunset.

40
00:01:54,134 --> 00:01:57,052
So yeah
I'm doing great

41
00:01:57,887 --> 00:01:59,263
I'm going to need
some help. Pam?

42
00:02:02,559 --> 00:02:04,810
Oh, yeah. Pregnant

43
00:02:04,894 --> 00:02:06,812
Right here.
Little Michael Scott

44
00:02:06,896 --> 00:02:09,189
Nope. I told you I
don't like that joke

45
00:02:09,274 --> 00:02:10,983
It is a boy.
We found out early

46
00:02:11,067 --> 00:02:13,694
Much different
the second time around

47
00:02:13,778 --> 00:02:15,821
And I have to say
it is nice not being

48
00:02:15,905 --> 00:02:17,614
the only pregnant
woman in the office

49
00:02:18,867 --> 00:02:22,494
Look, it's
"little pregs" and
"big pregs."

50
00:02:23,037 --> 00:02:24,496
Wait, when did we
start calling
each other

51
00:02:24,581 --> 00:02:27,166
Isn't it amazing
the difference in
our sizes?

52
00:02:27,250 --> 00:02:29,001
Well, I am a few
months ahead of you

53
00:02:29,085 --> 00:02:31,753
I'm having
a child with my husband
the senator

54
00:02:31,838 --> 00:02:36,425
And Pam
is having a child with Jim
The great salesman

55
00:02:36,509 --> 00:02:38,093
Hoist him aloft

56
00:02:38,928 --> 00:02:40,762
Come on, Darryl, lift
Lift, Darryl

57
00:02:40,847 --> 00:02:42,139
Come on, man

58
00:02:42,223 --> 00:02:45,642
Yeah, I wanted
the manager job, but I got
something much better

59
00:02:48,062 --> 00:02:49,229
This soda

60
00:02:50,190 --> 00:02:51,398
This is mine

61
00:02:51,858 --> 00:02:56,278
It might be easier if
you take a deep breath
lift from the knees,

62
00:02:56,362 --> 00:02:57,905
and shove it
up your butt

63
00:02:59,908 --> 00:03:01,408
a new thing this summer

64
00:03:01,492 --> 00:03:03,952
I act like I'm
telling someone how to
do something.

65
00:03:04,037 --> 00:03:07,372
a long description
and then I say...

66
00:03:07,457 --> 00:03:09,166
And shove it up your butt

67
00:03:11,586 --> 00:03:14,463
It's stupid,
but it's my thing now

68
00:03:14,547 --> 00:03:16,840
No one should be
planking at all.

69
00:03:16,925 --> 00:03:18,467
Thank you. Yes

70
00:03:19,594 --> 00:03:22,554
Dwight
my enforcer, my number two
can you take care of this?

71
00:03:22,639 --> 00:03:23,847
Say no more

72
00:03:35,193 --> 00:03:37,986
Kids, don't try planking
it's dangerous.

73
00:03:39,822 --> 00:03:41,323
Especially with me around

74
00:04:12,438 --> 00:04:13,522
Are you watching
that commercial again?

75
00:04:16,192 --> 00:04:18,986
Why do you keep watching it
if you know it's just
going to make you cry?

76
00:04:19,070 --> 00:04:21,947
Because
everything makes me cry
so what's the difference?

77
00:04:23,366 --> 00:04:26,868
This dog
he just wants to
protect his bone

78
00:04:27,203 --> 00:04:28,954
He's got a bank vault
That's a start.

79
00:04:29,038 --> 00:04:29,997
Not enough, though

80
00:04:30,081 --> 00:04:31,081
All right

81
00:04:36,963 --> 00:04:39,798
The new C.E.O. works out
of the conference room
about half the time

82
00:04:39,882 --> 00:04:44,052
but whenever he takes a break
he does these weird
walks around the office.

83
00:04:44,595 --> 00:04:46,263
And you never know
who he's going to
zero in on

84
00:04:46,347 --> 00:04:48,515
for these really
intense small talks

85
00:04:48,599 --> 00:04:50,892
You just hope
it's not you.

86
00:04:51,644 --> 00:04:55,355
And yet you
hope it is you, too
It's strange

87
00:05:02,071 --> 00:05:03,739
Here we go.
Hello

88
00:05:04,282 --> 00:05:06,908
Robert California.
Let's have a conversation

89
00:05:07,285 --> 00:05:08,827
Describe your day so far

90
00:05:08,911 --> 00:05:10,620
Well, I woke up and

91
00:05:10,705 --> 00:05:13,040
When you recount
your day, never say
you woke up

92
00:05:13,124 --> 00:05:14,333
It's a waste of your time

93
00:05:14,417 --> 00:05:17,419
That's how every day
has begun for everyone
since the dawn of man.

94
00:05:17,503 --> 00:05:19,838
Very smart
Very smart

95
00:05:21,507 --> 00:05:25,093
Suddenly, I was awake
and I...

96
00:05:25,178 --> 00:05:30,807
Hey, Robert
We have that 9:30 A.M.
casual chit chat scheduled

97
00:05:30,892 --> 00:05:34,394
I emailed you about it
last eight to confirm.
And again this morning

98
00:05:34,479 --> 00:05:36,480
First item on the agenda
can I get everyone

99
00:05:36,564 --> 00:05:38,523
an extra long
Columbus Day weekend?

100
00:05:38,608 --> 00:05:40,942
Item number two,
connect with the guy

101
00:05:41,652 --> 00:05:44,321
Robert California,
what does he think of me?

102
00:05:44,405 --> 00:05:45,781
Don't know
Super care.

103
00:05:47,241 --> 00:05:49,576
Number three, time permitting
we lost our biggest client.

104
00:06:02,799 --> 00:06:04,925
Pam. Pam
Past! Pam.

105
00:06:20,191 --> 00:06:21,191
Jim

106
00:06:30,785 --> 00:06:34,454
Can I call you right back?
Thank you very much.

107
00:06:35,790 --> 00:06:36,790
Okay

108
00:06:40,086 --> 00:06:41,253
What is this?

109
00:06:43,965 --> 00:06:46,425
The Friday before
Columbus Day, thoughts?

110
00:06:46,509 --> 00:06:47,634
What are your thoughts?

111
00:06:47,718 --> 00:06:49,052
Just making chit-chat

112
00:06:50,638 --> 00:06:53,390
Kind of a medium year
for women's soccer, no?

113
00:06:56,436 --> 00:06:57,561
What are you looking at?

114
00:06:58,354 --> 00:06:59,729
It's nothing

115
00:06:59,856 --> 00:07:01,940
It can't be nothing
Yeah, it can't be nothing.

116
00:07:02,024 --> 00:07:04,651
It's just
a list of our names
split into two columns

117
00:07:04,735 --> 00:07:06,194
What?

118
00:07:06,279 --> 00:07:08,864
Okay, just wait one second
all right?
I will copy it

119
00:07:09,490 --> 00:07:11,199
Do you have a pen?
No

120
00:07:11,284 --> 00:07:12,325
No

121
00:07:13,119 --> 00:07:15,328
Okay. Um, I'll take
a photo of it.

122
00:07:15,621 --> 00:07:16,746
Dwight, can you
throw me my phone?

123
00:07:20,877 --> 00:07:22,210
Nice catch

124
00:07:22,879 --> 00:07:24,379
If he comes out
distract him.

125
00:07:24,881 --> 00:07:26,465
We need a warning signal

126
00:07:26,549 --> 00:07:28,258
We don't need
a warning signal, Kevin

127
00:07:28,384 --> 00:07:29,468
We can see him
right there.
- We do.

128
00:07:29,552 --> 00:07:30,552
don't need a...

129
00:07:30,636 --> 00:07:33,805
Warning! Warning
Warning!
Warning! Warning

130
00:07:34,182 --> 00:07:35,640
Phyllis!
Phyllis

131
00:07:37,685 --> 00:07:38,935
You okay?

132
00:07:41,439 --> 00:07:42,731
You okay?
Yeah. Yeah.

133
00:07:42,815 --> 00:07:44,232
One, two, three

134
00:07:44,317 --> 00:07:45,358
Thanks, guys

135
00:07:49,071 --> 00:07:52,115
Okay. Which side
of the list am I on?

136
00:07:52,742 --> 00:07:54,242
Left
Yes

137
00:07:54,327 --> 00:07:56,578
Why are you...
How do you know?

138
00:07:57,914 --> 00:07:59,956
Really great
list of names, guys

139
00:08:00,625 --> 00:08:02,375
Thank you so much
Good work.

140
00:08:02,460 --> 00:08:05,170
No, actually, that was
in Robert's notebook.

141
00:08:05,254 --> 00:08:07,255
He left it at reception
and we photocopied it

142
00:08:07,632 --> 00:08:08,673
Oh

143
00:08:08,758 --> 00:08:11,718
Okay. I don't want
any part of this.

144
00:08:11,802 --> 00:08:14,179
Maybe it's the list of people
he's going to fire.

145
00:08:14,347 --> 00:08:16,681
Okay.
It's not that, Pam

146
00:08:17,475 --> 00:08:19,017
You know
I was thinking it
reminds me

147
00:08:19,101 --> 00:08:20,560
of those lists
Dwight used to make

148
00:08:20,645 --> 00:08:22,437
This is if we were a
on a cruise ship

149
00:08:22,522 --> 00:08:24,272
and had to divide
into life boats.

150
00:08:24,398 --> 00:08:25,899
And this is if we
were on a cruise ship

151
00:08:25,983 --> 00:08:27,734
and had to divide
into life rafts.

152
00:08:28,110 --> 00:08:32,280
Here's something
"Who would eat who
in an Alive situation?'

153
00:08:35,535 --> 00:08:37,702
No. That can't be it

154
00:08:37,787 --> 00:08:38,745
I gotta say

155
00:08:38,829 --> 00:08:41,831
it kind of seems
like the left side
is the side to be on

156
00:08:42,333 --> 00:08:44,876
Me, Jim, Dwight, Darryl
no offense, Pam.

157
00:08:44,961 --> 00:08:46,628
Excuse me?

158
00:08:46,712 --> 00:08:48,672
Shh. Pam, come on
Don't be
such a right-sider.

159
00:08:50,758 --> 00:08:52,801
Did you guys
figure it out?
We couldn't crack it

160
00:08:52,885 --> 00:08:55,470
Go in there, just ask
the man what it means

161
00:08:55,555 --> 00:08:59,766
He'll know that we looked
at his private notebook

162
00:09:00,351 --> 00:09:02,310
Come on
Just say you saw
the list by accident

163
00:09:02,395 --> 00:09:04,729
I'm already working
on this Columbus Day
thing for you guys

164
00:09:04,814 --> 00:09:07,232
And it's starting
to stack up.

165
00:09:07,316 --> 00:09:08,900
It feels like a lot
One thing at a time

166
00:09:08,985 --> 00:09:11,945
Yeah, that's all
you had to do today is
ask about Columbus Day?

167
00:09:16,993 --> 00:09:19,411
Yes. For god's sake
Andy, yes. Come in.

168
00:09:22,331 --> 00:09:23,957
What's up?

169
00:09:24,041 --> 00:09:26,459
Weird thing.
Totally awkward

170
00:09:27,336 --> 00:09:30,088
But you left your notebook
on the reception desk.

171
00:09:30,172 --> 00:09:31,214
Great. Thank you

172
00:09:31,299 --> 00:09:33,967
And it was open

173
00:09:35,177 --> 00:09:37,137
and people saw this

174
00:09:37,221 --> 00:09:39,180
and they're just
kind of going nuts
and, like...

175
00:09:39,265 --> 00:09:40,265
What is this?

176
00:09:40,349 --> 00:09:41,308
wondering what it is

177
00:09:41,392 --> 00:09:43,435
It's a photocopy
from your notebook

178
00:09:43,519 --> 00:09:47,147
You read my notebook?
And photocopied it
and distributed it?

179
00:09:48,858 --> 00:09:53,653
No. They did.
And they asked me
to ask you about it

180
00:09:54,071 --> 00:09:55,697
Please

181
00:09:57,950 --> 00:09:59,034
Oh

182
00:09:59,327 --> 00:10:01,077
Here's what it is
it's a doodle.

183
00:10:01,579 --> 00:10:02,621
What?

184
00:10:02,705 --> 00:10:06,041
Some people doodle at work
when they let their mind run

185
00:10:06,125 --> 00:10:07,667
They draw houses, penises

186
00:10:07,752 --> 00:10:10,754
funny how the houses
are always colonials

187
00:10:10,838 --> 00:10:12,547
and the penises are
always circumcised

188
00:10:12,632 --> 00:10:14,591
Don't you think?

189
00:10:15,217 --> 00:10:19,220
Well, I doodle too
but I'm not an artist
so I draw words and lists

190
00:10:20,848 --> 00:10:23,725
That is fascinating

191
00:10:23,809 --> 00:10:25,935
And by the way
I am so glad I asked

192
00:10:26,020 --> 00:10:28,605
People were just sort of...
Did you just move my name?

193
00:10:28,689 --> 00:10:31,483
Might as well have
been sketching a cube

194
00:10:37,073 --> 00:10:39,074
Okay, Robert's in the annex
everybody think quick

195
00:10:39,158 --> 00:10:40,492
What do these
groups have in common?

196
00:10:40,576 --> 00:10:42,494
Maybe we're supposed to
do it with people
in our group.

197
00:10:42,578 --> 00:10:43,870
That's not it

198
00:10:43,954 --> 00:10:45,121
People in
the other group

199
00:10:45,206 --> 00:10:46,539
Mmm. Still wrong

200
00:10:46,624 --> 00:10:49,376
Stanley,
you do puzzles all day
What do we got?

201
00:10:49,460 --> 00:10:51,670
Well, you take
the first letter
from each name

202
00:10:51,754 --> 00:10:54,130
assign it a number
add them all up,

203
00:10:54,215 --> 00:10:55,882
and shove it up your butt

204
00:10:55,966 --> 00:10:58,343
Thank you, a little
much needed comic relief

205
00:10:58,427 --> 00:11:00,720
But we really need to
figure this out, guys

206
00:11:03,099 --> 00:11:04,557
It's alphabetical

207
00:11:06,394 --> 00:11:07,477
No, it's not

208
00:11:07,561 --> 00:11:08,561
Here's how we find out

209
00:11:08,646 --> 00:11:10,313
Let's line up and
compare the lines

210
00:11:10,398 --> 00:11:11,648
see if we learn
anything, okay?

211
00:11:11,732 --> 00:11:14,109
Left-siders over here
right-siders
line up over here,

212
00:11:14,193 --> 00:11:15,193
face each other

213
00:11:15,277 --> 00:11:17,696
Match up by height
and relative weight

214
00:11:18,364 --> 00:11:21,157
Let's just size
each other up here

215
00:11:21,242 --> 00:11:23,743
And left side of the list

216
00:11:24,578 --> 00:11:25,787
attack

217
00:11:25,871 --> 00:11:27,956
Wait, wait, wait,
stop, stop!

218
00:11:28,207 --> 00:11:29,624
Will you stop?

219
00:11:30,876 --> 00:11:31,876
Dwight

220
00:11:32,128 --> 00:11:33,128
Don't do it

221
00:11:33,963 --> 00:11:34,963
What are you doing?
Stop!

222
00:11:35,798 --> 00:11:38,133
Warning! Warning! Warning

223
00:11:43,472 --> 00:11:48,017
I'd like to invite
the following people
to join me for lunch.

224
00:11:48,686 --> 00:11:50,520
Jim, Dwight

225
00:11:50,604 --> 00:11:53,273
Angela, Darryl

226
00:11:54,650 --> 00:11:57,819
Kevin, Toby
Phyllis, Oscar

227
00:11:59,905 --> 00:12:02,449
That's great.
Let's do this, guys

228
00:12:03,743 --> 00:12:07,287
All right. Well,
I will see you in a bit

229
00:12:08,664 --> 00:12:12,250
Hey, it's nothing
all right?

230
00:12:12,668 --> 00:12:13,752
I'll text you
when we get there

231
00:12:13,836 --> 00:12:15,795
I'll let you know
what's going on
Okay

232
00:12:16,130 --> 00:12:17,672
No. No dog video

233
00:12:18,007 --> 00:12:19,174
Okay
Okay.

234
00:12:20,009 --> 00:12:21,009
See you, guys

235
00:12:23,262 --> 00:12:26,389
Well, we should a
be really excited about

236
00:12:26,474 --> 00:12:30,226
our very own pizza party

237
00:12:30,770 --> 00:12:35,273
Pizza party
Pizza party.
Pizza party.

238
00:12:35,357 --> 00:12:38,568
Jim, your daughter Cecelia
what does she
think of the Street?

239
00:12:38,652 --> 00:12:40,153
The street?

240
00:12:40,237 --> 00:12:41,362
Sesame Street.

241
00:12:41,447 --> 00:12:43,448
Oh. I didn't know
anybody called it

242
00:12:43,532 --> 00:12:44,783
She likes it a lot

243
00:12:44,867 --> 00:12:46,409
She loves Elmo

244
00:12:46,494 --> 00:12:48,787
Elmo,
God save us
the Elmo era

245
00:12:48,871 --> 00:12:49,871
Right?

246
00:12:49,955 --> 00:12:51,623
Sesame Street was
created to reflect

247
00:12:51,707 --> 00:12:53,291
the environment of
the children watching it

248
00:12:54,418 --> 00:12:56,002
Complete self
absorption of Elmo

249
00:12:56,086 --> 00:12:58,004
is brilliantly
reflective of our time

250
00:12:58,672 --> 00:13:01,174
Ours is a cultural ghetto
Wouldn't you agree?

251
00:13:01,801 --> 00:13:04,761
Yeah. She does like Elmo

252
00:13:04,845 --> 00:13:08,014
Cultural ghetto?
Totally agree

253
00:13:08,098 --> 00:13:09,182
Completely

254
00:13:09,266 --> 00:13:11,726
Apt. Apt analysis, Robert

255
00:13:11,811 --> 00:13:15,563
The thing that l
like about Elmo
is the tickling

256
00:13:16,941 --> 00:13:20,652
I don't know
I was in the wrong...

257
00:13:20,986 --> 00:13:23,404
I'm... I'm sorry

258
00:13:23,489 --> 00:13:26,366
Just picture me
back there.
I was never here

259
00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:32,580
Great group
Pizza party.

260
00:13:32,748 --> 00:13:33,748
How is this a pizza party?

261
00:13:33,833 --> 00:13:35,041
Well, why don't you
ask me again

262
00:13:35,125 --> 00:13:36,292
when the five pizzas
get here?

263
00:13:36,377 --> 00:13:37,460
Yeah, well,
that's just pizza

264
00:13:37,545 --> 00:13:39,671
You need at least
one other element
for it to be a party.

265
00:13:39,755 --> 00:13:41,506
Okay. Have you guys
ever had margarita pizza?

266
00:13:41,590 --> 00:13:42,590
What's that?

267
00:13:42,675 --> 00:13:46,761
Fresh tomato with a dollop
of mozzarella cheese.

268
00:13:46,846 --> 00:13:48,012
That's pizza

269
00:13:48,097 --> 00:13:49,973
That's regular pizza

270
00:13:50,057 --> 00:13:52,684
You know, I fee
comfortable enough now
to ask you this question,

271
00:13:52,768 --> 00:13:55,353
what made you
pick this group?

272
00:13:55,437 --> 00:13:57,272
I just think
you guys are winners

273
00:13:57,356 --> 00:13:58,523
and I wanted to
have lunch with you

274
00:13:58,607 --> 00:13:59,691
Okay

275
00:13:59,859 --> 00:14:00,859
Aw.

276
00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:03,069
What about the other guys?

277
00:14:03,153 --> 00:14:05,697
Losers? Come on.
Oh, I don't know

278
00:14:05,781 --> 00:14:07,198
Come on. Come on

279
00:14:07,283 --> 00:14:08,950
I guess I think
they're losers.

280
00:14:09,451 --> 00:14:11,452
I knew it

281
00:14:11,537 --> 00:14:12,537
Yes

282
00:14:12,621 --> 00:14:14,080
Probably shouldn't
have said that

283
00:14:14,623 --> 00:14:15,707
Whoo-hoo

284
00:14:16,125 --> 00:14:18,835
Ah-ha!
Their interpretation
of margherita pizza

285
00:14:20,004 --> 00:14:21,796
Fans of classic pizza
will be psyched.

286
00:14:23,716 --> 00:14:25,675
A text from Jim

287
00:14:25,759 --> 00:14:28,469
"This is getting very weird
Will explain later."

288
00:14:33,225 --> 00:14:34,350
Text from Kevin

289
00:14:34,435 --> 00:14:35,560
"Suck it, losers.'

290
00:14:40,816 --> 00:14:42,859
Okay, not to point out
the glaringly obvious,

291
00:14:42,943 --> 00:14:45,278
but doesn't the fact
that lama in this group

292
00:14:45,362 --> 00:14:47,655
make anyone feel just
a little bit better?

293
00:14:48,991 --> 00:14:50,575
Oh, this crust is sharp

294
00:14:50,659 --> 00:14:55,330
and sort of funny

295
00:14:56,165 --> 00:14:58,249
and I could do those
cute little cartoons

296
00:14:58,334 --> 00:15:01,836
and everyone who
came through here
was like,

297
00:15:01,921 --> 00:15:04,005
"Who's that receptionist? I like her."

298
00:15:04,673 --> 00:15:06,549
Now I'm just a fat mom

299
00:15:07,593 --> 00:15:11,054
Yeah,
and you take one look at me
and you're like, "Oh, loser."

300
00:15:11,138 --> 00:15:12,680
Come here, Pam

301
00:15:14,141 --> 00:15:15,266
Chins up, okay?

302
00:15:15,351 --> 00:15:17,852
Bad joke

303
00:15:19,229 --> 00:15:20,563
Look around this room

304
00:15:20,648 --> 00:15:23,191
Does this look like
a group of losers?
Seriously.

305
00:15:30,574 --> 00:15:31,783
Oh, god

306
00:15:34,370 --> 00:15:36,788
Oh, hey, guys
we had so much fun.

307
00:15:36,872 --> 00:15:38,206
We had marguerite pizza

308
00:15:38,290 --> 00:15:39,958
We all hung out
and got to know
each other better

309
00:15:40,042 --> 00:15:41,000
How was your lunch?

310
00:15:41,085 --> 00:15:43,002
It was excellent.
Good times

311
00:15:43,087 --> 00:15:44,253
Yeah?
Yeah.

312
00:15:44,338 --> 00:15:46,255
Oh, we did.
It was the best time

313
00:15:46,340 --> 00:15:49,968
And you know what?
Now it's over
back to work, everyone

314
00:15:51,053 --> 00:15:52,053
You too, Andy

315
00:15:52,721 --> 00:15:53,680
I knew it.

316
00:15:53,764 --> 00:15:57,809
that everyone
was wrong about me.

317
00:15:58,102 --> 00:16:03,314
My parents,
my teachers, my friends
the doctors, everyone.

318
00:16:04,316 --> 00:16:06,234
Well, that was
certainly an odd lunch

319
00:16:10,739 --> 00:16:11,739
Is everything all right?

320
00:16:12,658 --> 00:16:14,033
Yeah, I'm fine

321
00:16:18,789 --> 00:16:20,873
Just take the
casserole out of the

322
00:16:20,958 --> 00:16:22,000
Loser

323
00:16:22,084 --> 00:16:24,335
Take it out of
the refrigerator,
put it in the oven

324
00:16:24,420 --> 00:16:27,088
It'll be fine
Just leave it in
for 20 minutes

325
00:16:27,798 --> 00:16:29,340
Loser

326
00:16:29,425 --> 00:16:30,717
When I was a salesman
I could just be like,

327
00:16:30,801 --> 00:16:34,679
"Not my job, not my prob
I'm going to the warehouse
to polish my knob."

328
00:16:35,472 --> 00:16:37,098
Metaphorically, of course

329
00:16:37,808 --> 00:16:41,269
But now,
it is my job and my prob

330
00:16:42,104 --> 00:16:43,104
Hi, Robert

331
00:16:44,565 --> 00:16:46,941
Can you
come out here, please?
It's really important.

332
00:16:51,822 --> 00:16:53,364
clarify something

333
00:16:54,283 --> 00:16:57,744
Some people here
are under the misconception

334
00:16:58,287 --> 00:17:02,206
that some people
may be considered

335
00:17:02,791 --> 00:17:04,333
let's say top tier

336
00:17:04,418 --> 00:17:07,170
and others would
be second tier.

337
00:17:08,630 --> 00:17:10,381
Thank you. Great

338
00:17:10,466 --> 00:17:13,134
I said winners and losers
Is that what
you're talking about?

339
00:17:13,218 --> 00:17:17,889
Oh, that might
That actually might be
what I'm thinking of.

340
00:17:18,432 --> 00:17:19,640
Can you clarify that?

341
00:17:19,725 --> 00:17:22,143
Let me tell you some
things I find productive

342
00:17:24,563 --> 00:17:25,980
Positive reinforcement

343
00:17:26,815 --> 00:17:28,316
negative reinforcement

344
00:17:28,817 --> 00:17:29,942
Honesty

345
00:17:30,319 --> 00:17:32,904
I'll tell you some things I find unproductive

346
00:17:33,322 --> 00:17:36,365
Constantly worrying
about where you stand

347
00:17:36,450 --> 00:17:38,576
based on
inscrutable social clues

348
00:17:38,660 --> 00:17:42,205
and then
inevitably reframing it a
in a reassuring way

349
00:17:42,289 --> 00:17:43,748
so that you can get
to sleep at night.

350
00:17:44,166 --> 00:17:46,626
No, I do not
believe in that at all

351
00:17:46,710 --> 00:17:49,670
If I invited you to lunch I think you're a winner

352
00:17:50,089 --> 00:17:51,130
If I didn't, I don't

353
00:17:51,215 --> 00:17:52,965
But I just met you all

354
00:17:53,050 --> 00:17:55,426
Life is long,
opinions change

355
00:17:55,511 --> 00:17:59,806
Winners, prove me right
Losers, prove me wrong

356
00:18:07,397 --> 00:18:09,482
Well, I guess
that's that

357
00:18:09,566 --> 00:18:10,566
No

358
00:18:12,820 --> 00:18:14,570
No. No

359
00:18:17,324 --> 00:18:18,282
Andy, don't go in there

360
00:18:18,367 --> 00:18:19,909
I'm going in there

361
00:18:25,332 --> 00:18:29,168
I know that
every time I talk to you
things just seem to get worse

362
00:18:29,878 --> 00:18:32,797
But you don't know
these people, and I do

363
00:18:32,881 --> 00:18:35,550
And if I let you work
with faulty information

364
00:18:35,717 --> 00:18:38,052
well
then I'm not doing my job
as regional manager.

365
00:18:38,929 --> 00:18:43,057
So, please take this pen
and change your list.

366
00:18:43,142 --> 00:18:45,017
I'm not going to
change my list, Andy

367
00:18:45,102 --> 00:18:46,978
And I don't use
ballpoint pens.

368
00:18:48,897 --> 00:18:51,566
Well, then I w
make a new list for you

369
00:18:57,072 --> 00:18:59,824
Stanley, you may think
he's a lazy grump

370
00:18:59,908 --> 00:19:02,743
but did you know that
he has the most consistently
high sales numbers

371
00:19:02,828 --> 00:19:04,162
of anyone in this office?

372
00:19:04,913 --> 00:19:06,164
And you may think
he's hard to love

373
00:19:06,248 --> 00:19:07,832
but did you know
that he's in not one

374
00:19:07,916 --> 00:19:10,084
but two long-term
romantic relationships?

375
00:19:11,128 --> 00:19:13,421
about the sales figures

376
00:19:13,505 --> 00:19:15,715
Meredith Palmer,
supplier relations

377
00:19:15,799 --> 00:19:18,843
The word "no,'
not even in her vocabulary

378
00:19:18,927 --> 00:19:20,219
And just to show you
that I'm being fair,

379
00:19:20,304 --> 00:19:21,512
you had Gabe in
the loser column

380
00:19:25,058 --> 00:19:26,434
Good call

381
00:19:27,019 --> 00:19:28,019
Pam

382
00:19:28,729 --> 00:19:33,941
easily the most
creative and kind person
I have ever worked with.

383
00:19:34,026 --> 00:19:36,027
Jim, shut the door
This is just gross.

384
00:19:36,111 --> 00:19:37,111
Shh

385
00:19:37,196 --> 00:19:40,615
Erin Hannon, the receptionist
and my closest confidant

386
00:19:40,908 --> 00:19:42,700
A winner if
there ever was one

387
00:19:48,874 --> 00:19:49,916
Are we done?

388
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,000
Yes

389
00:19:51,084 --> 00:19:52,251
No

390
00:19:52,628 --> 00:19:54,086
The Friday
before Columbus Day

391
00:19:54,171 --> 00:19:55,630
we're going to
take a half-day

392
00:19:55,714 --> 00:19:57,632
So that
everyone can get a jump
on the long weekend.

393
00:19:57,716 --> 00:20:00,635
You want
a three-and-a-half day
weekend for Columbus Day?

394
00:20:01,470 --> 00:20:02,762
Yes, I do

395
00:20:02,846 --> 00:20:05,890
And you are aware that
Columbus and his legions

396
00:20:05,974 --> 00:20:09,644
committed genocide against
an entire civilization
of Native Americans?

397
00:20:22,699 --> 00:20:23,824
Hey, guys

398
00:20:24,826 --> 00:20:28,079
so Columbus Day,
we got that
half-day on Friday

399
00:20:28,163 --> 00:20:29,872
We get that every year

400
00:20:30,916 --> 00:20:32,333
Well, you got it
this year, too.

401
00:20:34,670 --> 00:20:36,462
Good night, Andy
Good night.

402
00:20:36,797 --> 00:20:37,797
Bye

403
00:20:39,174 --> 00:20:40,800
Good night, Andy

404
00:20:44,638 --> 00:20:45,638
Good night

405
00:20:45,722 --> 00:20:46,806
Night

406
00:20:58,193 --> 00:21:00,486
All right, I'm going
to go warm up the car

407
00:21:00,570 --> 00:21:01,988
Okay
Okay.

408
00:21:03,782 --> 00:21:05,866
You dropped something. Jim?

409
00:21:06,868 --> 00:21:09,745
Okay, I know
I've been crying easily
today, but

410
00:21:12,874 --> 00:21:14,959
I mean, that's just
pretty killer, right?

411
00:21:17,587 --> 00:21:19,130
I mean,
maybe it's stupid

412
00:21:20,299 --> 00:21:21,424
No

413
00:21:23,093 --> 00:21:24,760
It's wonderful

414
00:21:24,845 --> 00:21:26,595
I'm going to frame it