1
00:00:03,718 --> 00:00:06,983
Hey, so this isn't
matching up with this.

2
00:00:07,084 --> 00:00:08,288
So I'm not sure which
one is right.

3
00:00:08,522 --> 00:00:10,045
Can you just hand down
the original for me.

4
00:00:10,171 --> 00:00:12,572
- Yes, me do.
- All right.

5
00:00:18,263 --> 00:00:20,582
Hey, what were you saying before
about the paperwork?

6
00:00:20,706 --> 00:00:23,312
Me doing now!
Go.

7
00:00:23,547 --> 00:00:25,037
Stop worry.

8
00:00:25,071 --> 00:00:26,755
Kevin, do you feel okay?

9
00:00:26,789 --> 00:00:28,807
Me feel good.
Body strong.

10
00:00:28,841 --> 00:00:30,642
Sleep big last night.

11
00:00:30,677 --> 00:00:32,177
Yeah, I think we should
get him to the hospital.

12
00:00:32,211 --> 00:00:33,679
Yeah, all right, Kevin.
Why don't you come with us?

13
00:00:33,713 --> 00:00:35,430
- No, no, guys.
- No, he's fine.

14
00:00:35,465 --> 00:00:37,633
- He's always been like that.
- No, he hasn't.

15
00:00:37,684 --> 00:00:40,418
I mean, he's gotten worse
over the years, but...

16
00:00:40,436 --> 00:00:41,803
He's making a statement.

17
00:00:41,854 --> 00:00:44,089
It's an ironic comment
on our expectations of him.

18
00:00:44,123 --> 00:00:47,592
A funhouse image
of our model of Kevin.

19
00:00:47,610 --> 00:00:49,260
You keep think that.

20
00:00:49,279 --> 00:00:51,930
Me mechanic not speak English.

21
00:00:51,965 --> 00:00:55,334
But he know what me mean
when me say, "car no go,"

22
00:00:55,368 --> 00:00:56,935
and we best friends.

23
00:00:56,953 --> 00:01:00,038
So me think,
why waste time say lot word

24
00:01:00,073 --> 00:01:02,274
when few word do trick?

25
00:01:02,308 --> 00:01:05,377
Kevin, I appreciate
what you're trying to do.

26
00:01:05,411 --> 00:01:07,479
Thank.

27
00:01:07,513 --> 00:01:09,748
Here, we have a word code.

28
00:01:09,782 --> 00:01:11,283
The same way
we have a dress code.

29
00:01:11,317 --> 00:01:15,637
And what we're talking about
is basically

30
00:01:15,672 --> 00:01:17,089
the speech equivalent

31
00:01:17,123 --> 00:01:19,007
to just wearing underpants.

32
00:01:19,058 --> 00:01:25,097
Sometimes,
words you no need use

33
00:01:25,131 --> 00:01:27,983
but need-need
for talk-talk.

34
00:01:28,017 --> 00:01:29,668
But save time.

35
00:01:29,702 --> 00:01:30,652
More success.

36
00:01:30,687 --> 00:01:31,970
Does it save time, though?

37
00:01:31,988 --> 00:01:33,639
'Cause we've been here
for about an hour.

38
00:01:33,673 --> 00:01:35,023
No me fault.

39
00:01:35,074 --> 00:01:36,858
Kevin...

40
00:01:36,909 --> 00:01:41,163
At most, you're saving
a microscopic amount of time.

41
00:01:41,197 --> 00:01:44,032
Many small time make big time.

42
00:01:44,083 --> 00:01:46,151
And what are you gonna do
with all this time?

43
00:01:46,169 --> 00:01:47,669
See world.

44
00:01:47,704 --> 00:01:49,488
Kevin, you can't possibly
save enough time

45
00:01:49,522 --> 00:01:50,672
to see the world.

46
00:01:50,707 --> 00:01:52,624
Kevin, are you saying,
"see the world"

47
00:01:52,658 --> 00:01:54,259
or "seaworld"?

48
00:01:54,293 --> 00:01:55,394
See world.

49
00:01:55,428 --> 00:01:58,497
Oceans, fish, jump.

50
00:01:58,531 --> 00:01:59,497
China.

51
00:01:59,515 --> 00:02:01,266
No, see?
Right there,

52
00:02:01,300 --> 00:02:02,801
that's the problem
with your method.

53
00:02:02,835 --> 00:02:04,436
'Cause I still don't know
if you're saying seaworld

54
00:02:04,470 --> 00:02:05,721
or see the world,

55
00:02:05,772 --> 00:02:08,607
and it's taking a lot of time
to explain it.

56
00:02:08,641 --> 00:02:09,975
Fine. Fine.

57
00:02:10,009 --> 00:02:12,310
I'll talk normally.

58
00:02:12,345 --> 00:02:14,479
When me president,

59
00:02:14,514 --> 00:02:16,782
they see.

60
00:02:16,816 --> 00:02:19,551
They see.

61
00:02:31,307 --> 00:02:37,032
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com

62
00:02:51,918 --> 00:02:53,385
This week, we are rolling out

63
00:02:53,419 --> 00:02:55,787
the brand-new
sabre tablet...

64
00:02:55,821 --> 00:02:57,205
The pyramid.

65
00:02:57,239 --> 00:02:59,157
Ooh, why is it
shaped like that?

66
00:02:59,191 --> 00:03:00,325
So you can tell your clients,

67
00:03:00,359 --> 00:03:02,694
"unleash the power
of the pyramid."

68
00:03:02,728 --> 00:03:04,796
It's huge.
How much does it weigh?

69
00:03:04,830 --> 00:03:06,197
Oh, no, no, no.
Without the battery pack

70
00:03:06,232 --> 00:03:07,299
and the optional
memory booster,

71
00:03:07,333 --> 00:03:08,833
it's barely three pounds.

72
00:03:08,868 --> 00:03:10,669
How much memory does it have
without the booster?

73
00:03:10,703 --> 00:03:11,770
50 "l."

74
00:03:11,804 --> 00:03:13,238
- I'm sorry, "L"?
- Mm-hmm.

75
00:03:13,272 --> 00:03:14,673
How many "L" to a "K"?

76
00:03:14,707 --> 00:03:16,074
You're really gonna
want the booster.

77
00:03:16,108 --> 00:03:17,542
How on Earth
are we supposed to sell—

78
00:03:17,576 --> 00:03:18,793
I'll take five.

79
00:03:18,844 --> 00:03:21,179
Andy, don't make us
sell this stupid thing.

80
00:03:21,213 --> 00:03:22,580
Oh, no, no, no, no.
This is Dwight's meeting.

81
00:03:22,615 --> 00:03:24,316
- Thank you, the—
- I just wanted to pop in

82
00:03:24,350 --> 00:03:27,135
and get your opinions
on ties and tie clips.

83
00:03:27,186 --> 00:03:29,187
Which combo do you think
Robert's gonna like more?

84
00:03:29,221 --> 00:03:32,724
What do you think, c-span?

85
00:03:32,758 --> 00:03:33,758
C-span?

86
00:03:33,776 --> 00:03:35,327
Yeah... C-span.

87
00:03:35,361 --> 00:03:36,594
Cocker spaniel.

88
00:03:36,629 --> 00:03:38,446
Spaniel 'cause of your
Spanish bloodline,

89
00:03:38,481 --> 00:03:40,198
cocker 'cause...

90
00:03:41,934 --> 00:03:44,636
Is this really the best use
of our collective time?

91
00:03:44,670 --> 00:03:47,605
I am still forming a first
impression with Robert.

92
00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:50,375
Once it is formed,
we can all relax, okay?

93
00:03:50,409 --> 00:03:52,644
I'm sorry to hijack
your meeting, d-dub-dog.

94
00:03:52,678 --> 00:03:54,445
Had to pull rank.

95
00:03:56,582 --> 00:03:59,784
Okay.
Let's look at some ties.

96
00:03:59,802 --> 00:04:01,886
Here's how I'm gonna
help out from now on.

97
00:04:01,921 --> 00:04:03,588
I'm going to not care.

98
00:04:03,622 --> 00:04:05,490
And I'm gonna
sit around quietly

99
00:04:05,524 --> 00:04:08,126
waiting for Andy's
inevitable demise.

100
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,178
Your friend Neil Patrick Harris

101
00:04:10,229 --> 00:04:12,263
really made me laugh
the other night.

102
00:04:12,297 --> 00:04:14,132
Um, D-dog,
you have a message.

103
00:04:14,150 --> 00:04:15,667
Erin, you don't need
to call him that.

104
00:04:15,701 --> 00:04:17,802
Andy wants us to, P-dog.

105
00:04:17,837 --> 00:04:19,871
It's okay, E-dog.
Just who called?

106
00:04:19,905 --> 00:04:21,573
Justine. She said
she's coming by later.

107
00:04:21,607 --> 00:04:23,041
Your ex-wife?

108
00:04:23,075 --> 00:04:24,359
Wait, I thought
she was a

109
00:04:24,410 --> 00:04:26,077
And you hated her guts.

110
00:04:26,112 --> 00:04:27,478
- Kevin...
- Oh, my God.

111
00:04:27,496 --> 00:04:29,531
No, no, no, no.
I like her.

112
00:04:29,582 --> 00:04:31,483
Well, I'm just quoting you.

113
00:04:31,517 --> 00:04:32,817
I would never
say that about her.

114
00:04:32,852 --> 00:04:33,835
I don't know the woman.

115
00:04:33,869 --> 00:04:36,171
No, man.
We get along now.

116
00:04:36,205 --> 00:04:37,205
Real well.

117
00:04:37,256 --> 00:04:38,256
Wow. All right.

118
00:04:38,290 --> 00:04:39,257
Can't wait to meet her.

119
00:04:39,291 --> 00:04:40,992
I'll introduce you.

120
00:04:41,010 --> 00:04:43,228
Yeah, we had a few fights,
I suppose.

121
00:04:43,262 --> 00:04:45,897
But last night, we put
a lot of that to bed.

122
00:04:45,931 --> 00:04:50,602
I can't tell you what I did
with my ex-wife last night.

123
00:04:50,636 --> 00:04:52,003
I have to sing it.

124
00:05:09,705 --> 00:05:11,022
Hi, dad.

125
00:05:11,040 --> 00:05:13,792
Ah—ohh.
Oh, boy.

126
00:05:13,826 --> 00:05:16,244
Hello, Andy.
Excellent tie.

127
00:05:16,295 --> 00:05:18,246
Would you be requiring
a cold beverage

128
00:05:18,297 --> 00:05:19,247
while you're here?

129
00:05:19,298 --> 00:05:21,216
I'd love some coffee.

130
00:05:21,250 --> 00:05:24,052
I was looking over
your projections,

131
00:05:24,086 --> 00:05:25,703
and I think we can to better.

132
00:05:25,721 --> 00:05:27,555
Are you factoring in

133
00:05:27,590 --> 00:05:30,708
the whole national economy...
Declining and all that?

134
00:05:30,743 --> 00:05:33,027
Andy, do you know why
I chose you?

135
00:05:33,062 --> 00:05:35,346
I think I can sum up
with what I think

136
00:05:35,364 --> 00:05:38,249
is your favorite
ice cream flavor.

137
00:05:38,284 --> 00:05:39,350
Vanilla.

138
00:05:39,385 --> 00:05:41,853
Valla? No, no.

139
00:05:41,871 --> 00:05:43,455
You'll never guess
in a million,

140
00:05:43,489 --> 00:05:44,923
billion years,
you'll never guess.

141
00:05:44,957 --> 00:05:47,292
You were saying you chose me.

142
00:05:47,326 --> 00:05:50,194
There was a reason.

143
00:05:50,212 --> 00:05:52,797
Andy, can you inspire?

144
00:05:52,832 --> 00:05:56,200
Do you have that skill set?

145
00:05:56,218 --> 00:05:57,335
Can I inspire?

146
00:05:58,437 --> 00:05:59,871
I don't know!

147
00:06:01,207 --> 00:06:02,807
I don't know.

148
00:06:02,842 --> 00:06:05,176
Oh, thank you.

149
00:06:05,211 --> 00:06:06,211
- Oh, uh—
- Oh, sorry.

150
00:06:06,245 --> 00:06:07,545
Here, just put it down.

151
00:06:07,580 --> 00:06:08,646
Oh.

152
00:06:18,357 --> 00:06:19,908
Mm.

153
00:06:19,942 --> 00:06:22,994
Ah. That is very cold.

154
00:06:23,028 --> 00:06:25,830
Yeah, it's old.

155
00:06:25,865 --> 00:06:27,298
Why would I—

156
00:06:27,333 --> 00:06:28,533
I asked if you wanted
a cold beverage,

157
00:06:28,567 --> 00:06:30,268
and you said coffee.

158
00:06:30,302 --> 00:06:32,637
Why don't we get Robert
a nice, hot, fresh cup,

159
00:06:32,671 --> 00:06:33,621
and I will have this.

160
00:06:33,672 --> 00:06:34,956
Andy, you don't want that.

161
00:06:35,007 --> 00:06:37,575
I've been craving a freezing
cup of old coffee.

162
00:06:37,610 --> 00:06:39,294
Mmm.

163
00:06:39,345 --> 00:06:40,295
Sorry.

164
00:06:42,515 --> 00:06:43,848
You like her.

165
00:06:46,085 --> 00:06:47,085
I-I do.

166
00:06:47,119 --> 00:06:49,086
Yeah.
She likes you.

167
00:06:49,104 --> 00:06:51,105
You know, we've both
been into each other

168
00:06:51,140 --> 00:06:52,123
at different times,

169
00:06:52,158 --> 00:06:54,058
and just never really
synced up.

170
00:06:54,092 --> 00:06:55,310
Now we're in
this weird dance—

171
00:06:55,361 --> 00:06:57,762
I'm afraid you've
lost my interest.

172
00:06:59,732 --> 00:07:01,649
Let me call you back.

173
00:07:01,700 --> 00:07:03,201
I gotta go.

174
00:07:07,072 --> 00:07:09,157
If the office superstore

175
00:07:09,208 --> 00:07:11,776
was supposed to put us little
suppliers out of business,

176
00:07:11,794 --> 00:07:13,511
why are we still here?

177
00:07:15,664 --> 00:07:16,664
Yeah.

178
00:07:16,715 --> 00:07:18,216
This is where we go.

179
00:07:18,250 --> 00:07:19,817
You'd go someplace else.

180
00:07:19,852 --> 00:07:21,219
That's not it.
That's not the answer.

181
00:07:21,253 --> 00:07:23,288
- It's a answer.
- It's a wrong answer.

182
00:07:23,322 --> 00:07:26,524
- There are no wrong answers.
- Take a look at where you are.

183
00:07:26,559 --> 00:07:30,395
Where you once worked
in a dying industry,

184
00:07:30,429 --> 00:07:32,497
you now work at its birth.

185
00:07:32,531 --> 00:07:38,069
The superstores
are terrified of us.

186
00:07:38,103 --> 00:07:40,471
Anybody know why?

187
00:07:40,506 --> 00:07:42,974
Wait... They're terrified?

188
00:07:43,008 --> 00:07:45,410
Let me tell you how I buy
something these days.

189
00:07:45,444 --> 00:07:47,195
I know what I want,
I go on the Internet

190
00:07:47,246 --> 00:07:48,413
and get the best price.

191
00:07:48,447 --> 00:07:50,365
Or I don't know what I want,

192
00:07:50,416 --> 00:07:52,784
and I go to a small store

193
00:07:52,818 --> 00:07:54,319
that can help me.

194
00:07:54,353 --> 00:07:56,254
The era of personal service
is back.

195
00:07:56,288 --> 00:07:58,556
You are back.

196
00:07:58,591 --> 00:08:02,493
You'll find that customers
will pay our higher prices

197
00:08:02,528 --> 00:08:04,195
and then they will thank us,

198
00:08:04,230 --> 00:08:07,465
and we will say to them,
"you are welcome."

199
00:08:11,971 --> 00:08:13,221
Ah, thank you.

200
00:08:13,272 --> 00:08:15,023
Ooh!

201
00:08:16,358 --> 00:08:17,892
Andrew, I chose you
for a reason.

202
00:08:17,943 --> 00:08:20,111
Lead these people.

203
00:08:20,145 --> 00:08:23,064
Show me the best numbers
this place has ever seen.

204
00:08:23,115 --> 00:08:25,450
Last quarter we saw 4% growth.

205
00:08:25,484 --> 00:08:26,868
Double it.
You got it.

206
00:08:26,902 --> 00:08:28,119
- Double.
- Done.

207
00:08:28,153 --> 00:08:30,204
- I'm not kidding.
- Neither am I.

208
00:08:30,239 --> 00:08:32,590
It's already done.
Ha. I'm just kidding.

209
00:08:32,625 --> 00:08:34,659
- It's gonna take some time.
- Double.

210
00:08:42,068 --> 00:08:43,068
Hey.

211
00:08:52,445 --> 00:08:53,511
Hey...

212
00:08:55,414 --> 00:08:57,482
What's up, guys?

213
00:08:57,516 --> 00:08:59,784
Just thought we'd have
a little rap session,

214
00:08:59,819 --> 00:09:02,887
talk about business,
see how things are going.

215
00:09:06,792 --> 00:09:07,892
Well, you start.

216
00:09:07,927 --> 00:09:09,227
If no one else wants to.

217
00:09:09,261 --> 00:09:11,062
I was just thinking about
Robert.

218
00:09:11,097 --> 00:09:15,600
Man, what a boss.
Just... Throws down goals,

219
00:09:15,634 --> 00:09:16,935
you know?

220
00:09:16,969 --> 00:09:19,704
Anyway, how's the sales doubling
project going?

221
00:09:19,739 --> 00:09:21,106
How are we supposed to do that?

222
00:09:21,140 --> 00:09:22,874
We can't just press
a magic button.

223
00:09:22,908 --> 00:09:24,776
Of course not.
There's no magic button.

224
00:09:24,810 --> 00:09:27,112
You have to...

225
00:09:27,146 --> 00:09:28,679
Summon that.

226
00:09:28,697 --> 00:09:30,065
If we could just
double our sales,

227
00:09:30,116 --> 00:09:31,349
we already would have.

228
00:09:31,384 --> 00:09:32,683
You're not making sense.

229
00:09:32,701 --> 00:09:34,402
He brings up two good points.

230
00:09:34,453 --> 00:09:35,854
Do you have any new leads,

231
00:09:35,888 --> 00:09:37,756
any new territories
you want us to look into,

232
00:09:37,790 --> 00:09:39,424
maybe have an in
with a big client

233
00:09:39,458 --> 00:09:41,192
that we could get
our foot in the door?

234
00:09:42,628 --> 00:09:44,095
Dwight, anything?

235
00:09:44,130 --> 00:09:46,631
We could talk about
how fast children grow up.

236
00:09:46,665 --> 00:09:48,917
And before you know it,
they're out of the house.

237
00:09:48,968 --> 00:09:50,935
You know what?
We need to get our heads

238
00:09:50,970 --> 00:09:52,103
out of the box.

239
00:09:52,138 --> 00:09:54,205
If we did have something,

240
00:09:54,223 --> 00:09:55,807
what would it look like?

241
00:09:55,841 --> 00:09:57,308
What would it be?

242
00:09:57,343 --> 00:09:58,593
Tuna.

243
00:09:58,644 --> 00:10:00,879
New leads,
a new territory to look into,

244
00:10:00,913 --> 00:10:03,098
maybe an in with a big company

245
00:10:03,149 --> 00:10:05,049
that we could get
our foot in the door.

246
00:10:06,685 --> 00:10:08,119
Fart.

247
00:10:09,455 --> 00:10:11,256
Good sesh.

248
00:10:12,358 --> 00:10:15,226
That leg's asleep.

249
00:10:17,930 --> 00:10:19,964
Hello.

250
00:10:19,999 --> 00:10:21,633
I'm looking for
a Darryl Philbin.

251
00:10:21,667 --> 00:10:23,668
Don't— Oh...

252
00:10:23,702 --> 00:10:25,336
You must think—
I'm not.

253
00:10:25,371 --> 00:10:28,239
I'm using the fax.
This isn't— No, wait.

254
00:10:28,274 --> 00:10:30,308
I'm not supposed
to represent the company, right?

255
00:10:30,342 --> 00:10:32,293
There's usually an Erin here.

256
00:10:32,344 --> 00:10:33,344
- Okay.
- So...

257
00:10:33,379 --> 00:10:36,598
Darryl!
A girl!

258
00:10:41,137 --> 00:10:42,454
What's up, darling?

259
00:10:42,488 --> 00:10:44,756
Hey, everybody,
this is justine.

260
00:10:44,790 --> 00:10:46,424
- Hello.
- Hi, justine.

261
00:10:46,459 --> 00:10:49,294
- Hi.
- This is Jim

262
00:10:49,328 --> 00:10:51,429
and Oscar.
Hi.

263
00:10:51,464 --> 00:10:53,264
Everybody.
Hello.

264
00:10:53,282 --> 00:10:56,618
Kevin.

265
00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:00,371
Can we go someplace private?

266
00:11:00,406 --> 00:11:03,158
Follow me.
I got a space.

267
00:11:03,209 --> 00:11:04,275
After you.

268
00:11:04,293 --> 00:11:06,611
I been thinking about you
all morning.

269
00:11:06,645 --> 00:11:09,581
I don't know what you did.
I can barely walk today.

270
00:11:14,386 --> 00:11:16,454
D-bone.
There you are.

271
00:11:16,489 --> 00:11:18,673
Let me guess.
Somebody needs a brownie!

272
00:11:18,724 --> 00:11:21,025
Lick the spoon?
No, that's okay.

273
00:11:21,060 --> 00:11:23,311
I just— I wanted to ask you

274
00:11:23,345 --> 00:11:25,497
about...
Is this about the profits?

275
00:11:25,531 --> 00:11:27,899
Because if it is,
I just don't see the point.

276
00:11:27,933 --> 00:11:29,167
It's so wall street.

277
00:11:29,201 --> 00:11:31,653
- I know, right?
- Right?

278
00:11:31,687 --> 00:11:33,404
- Yeah.
- Ha.

279
00:11:33,439 --> 00:11:35,073
Um...

280
00:11:35,107 --> 00:11:37,242
How is everything?

281
00:11:37,276 --> 00:11:39,177
Good.
Really, really good.

282
00:11:39,211 --> 00:11:40,912
Must be a tough time
to be a family farm.

283
00:11:40,946 --> 00:11:42,413
Oh, it is.

284
00:11:42,448 --> 00:11:44,582
And beets are not immune.

285
00:11:44,617 --> 00:11:46,117
We made some inroads in salad,

286
00:11:46,151 --> 00:11:48,670
but heirloom tomatoes
are pushing back.

287
00:11:48,704 --> 00:11:50,488
Oof. What are you
gonna do about that?

288
00:11:50,523 --> 00:11:52,823
I don't know.
What do you mean?

289
00:11:52,841 --> 00:11:55,260
Gotta be some way you could
double your beet sales.

290
00:11:55,294 --> 00:11:56,711
You wanted the job.
The job is yours.

291
00:11:56,762 --> 00:11:59,830
Just do the job.

292
00:11:59,848 --> 00:12:03,501
And I'll... Do mine.

293
00:12:03,536 --> 00:12:06,003
Walnuts?

294
00:12:06,021 --> 00:12:08,189
No!

295
00:12:12,378 --> 00:12:14,112
Have you seen this?

296
00:12:14,146 --> 00:12:15,246
Parenting? Yeah.

297
00:12:15,281 --> 00:12:16,847
This is Cece's
favorite magazine.

298
00:12:16,865 --> 00:12:18,566
She loves the pictures
of babies.

299
00:12:18,617 --> 00:12:20,151
She looks at it
when she's on the potty,

300
00:12:20,185 --> 00:12:21,853
and she makes the faces—
- Have you read it?

301
00:12:21,887 --> 00:12:24,289
Has an adult member
of your family

302
00:12:24,323 --> 00:12:26,758
read this particular issue?

303
00:12:26,792 --> 00:12:28,192
I flipped through it.

304
00:12:28,227 --> 00:12:30,528
So you saw the article
on the importance

305
00:12:30,563 --> 00:12:32,463
of taking frequent walks
while you're pregnant.

306
00:12:32,498 --> 00:12:34,866
- Of course, yeah.
- Everyone knows that.

307
00:12:34,900 --> 00:12:37,001
I will be taking a morning
walk and an afternoon walk.

308
00:12:37,036 --> 00:12:39,921
Would you like to join me?
That sounds nice.

309
00:12:39,972 --> 00:12:41,339
Great.

310
00:12:42,558 --> 00:12:43,975
You have a walking buddy.

311
00:12:44,009 --> 00:12:46,210
I do!

312
00:12:46,228 --> 00:12:48,379
- Thanks for coming in, guys.
- You don't have to thank us

313
00:12:48,397 --> 00:12:50,381
for coming in— It's our job.

314
00:12:50,399 --> 00:12:52,717
Well, I never got thanked
for coming into a meeting,

315
00:12:52,735 --> 00:12:55,286
and I always wanted to be,
so I'm gonna thank people.

316
00:12:55,321 --> 00:12:56,554
What's under the blanket?

317
00:12:56,572 --> 00:13:00,408
This is what's under
the blanket.

318
00:13:00,442 --> 00:13:02,327
We... Don't get it.

319
00:13:02,361 --> 00:13:03,945
These are incentives.

320
00:13:03,996 --> 00:13:06,230
It's how we're gonna
double growth.

321
00:13:06,248 --> 00:13:08,399
Now, you're probably all
asking yourselves,

322
00:13:08,434 --> 00:13:10,501
"well, how does this work?"

323
00:13:10,536 --> 00:13:11,836
Seems like a basic
reward system

324
00:13:11,870 --> 00:13:13,288
where you give us points

325
00:13:13,339 --> 00:13:16,007
and then we redeem those points
for prizes.

326
00:13:16,041 --> 00:13:18,126
You're exactly right,
and you get a point.

327
00:13:18,177 --> 00:13:20,595
- Oh!
- Is that a vibrator?

328
00:13:20,629 --> 00:13:23,581
- 20 points.
- How does one get a point?

329
00:13:23,616 --> 00:13:25,483
I've outlined the exact
parameters in an email,

330
00:13:25,517 --> 00:13:26,718
so check your spam folders.

331
00:13:26,752 --> 00:13:28,152
But basically...

332
00:13:28,187 --> 00:13:29,854
You do your job better,
you get points.

333
00:13:29,888 --> 00:13:32,256
So... Collect 15 points,

334
00:13:32,291 --> 00:13:34,859
and redeem them for
this polar bear.

335
00:13:34,893 --> 00:13:36,527
Why is it all kids' stuff
and a vibrator?

336
00:13:36,562 --> 00:13:37,662
It's so gross.

337
00:13:37,696 --> 00:13:39,297
There's lots of stuff.

338
00:13:39,331 --> 00:13:42,467
John Irving, collected works.
22 points.

339
00:13:42,501 --> 00:13:45,936
Or you can pool your points
and redeem 55

340
00:13:45,954 --> 00:13:47,772
for this maternity shirt.

341
00:13:47,790 --> 00:13:49,657
How about you want us

342
00:13:49,708 --> 00:13:51,942
to work harder, pay us more?
I can't.

343
00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:53,611
This point system
is really insulting.

344
00:13:53,629 --> 00:13:55,997
Ooh. Well, I didn't
mean to offend you,

345
00:13:56,048 --> 00:13:58,049
and I hope you'll forgive me,

346
00:13:58,083 --> 00:14:00,284
because I'm very, very...
Sari.

347
00:14:00,302 --> 00:14:02,804
16 points.
It's a tablecloth.

348
00:14:02,838 --> 00:14:04,622
What if went all the way up
to 500 points?

349
00:14:04,657 --> 00:14:06,140
That's a crazy
amount of points.

350
00:14:06,175 --> 00:14:08,026
- But what if?
- Well, what do you want?

351
00:14:08,060 --> 00:14:10,178
I don't know.
For such a crazy number,

352
00:14:10,229 --> 00:14:11,963
I'd like something
pretty crazy.

353
00:14:11,997 --> 00:14:13,731
All right.
For 500 points,

354
00:14:13,766 --> 00:14:15,333
I will wear a dress to work.

355
00:14:15,367 --> 00:14:16,801
Ah!

356
00:14:16,819 --> 00:14:17,968
That's pretty good.

357
00:14:17,986 --> 00:14:20,738
What about, uh, for
1,000 points?

358
00:14:20,773 --> 00:14:22,306
I'll run naked
through the parking lot

359
00:14:22,341 --> 00:14:24,192
with a doughnut on my dingdong.

360
00:14:25,444 --> 00:14:26,828
Yeah? You like that?

361
00:14:26,862 --> 00:14:29,547
All right, for 5,000 points,

362
00:14:29,581 --> 00:14:32,283
I will... Let you
tattoo whatever you want

363
00:14:32,317 --> 00:14:34,852
on the stern
of the old SS Bernard.

364
00:14:34,887 --> 00:14:36,204
- Oh!
- Here we go!

365
00:14:36,255 --> 00:14:38,423
All right, all right,
and you are totally serious.

366
00:14:38,457 --> 00:14:41,042
Swear to God, hope to die.
Now, let's get to work!

367
00:14:41,093 --> 00:14:44,595
Wait. But you did say
we could pool our points, right?

368
00:14:44,630 --> 00:14:46,547
In that case,
let's get to work.

369
00:14:46,598 --> 00:14:48,599
- Yeah!
- Yeah!

370
00:14:49,885 --> 00:14:50,885
- Yeah!
- Whoo!

371
00:14:55,678 --> 00:14:56,878
All right, thank you very much.

372
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:59,080
Uh, Phyllis, brachen auto?

373
00:14:59,115 --> 00:15:01,149
Ask for Donald.
Karen's bananas.

374
00:15:01,184 --> 00:15:02,651
I just want you to benefit
from our...

375
00:15:02,685 --> 00:15:04,853
T-bag-bone.

376
00:15:04,855 --> 00:15:05,937
Andrew.

377
00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:09,691
Have you noticed just
a little bit

378
00:15:09,725 --> 00:15:10,926
of a mood shift around here?

379
00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:12,594
No, I haven't noticed anything.

380
00:15:12,628 --> 00:15:13,745
Really?

381
00:15:13,779 --> 00:15:15,831
Because I sat next to Stanley
for years,

382
00:15:15,865 --> 00:15:18,500
and this is naptime.

383
00:15:18,534 --> 00:15:19,601
- Yeah?
- Open-eye naptime.

384
00:15:19,635 --> 00:15:20,869
He balances the phone
on his shoulder

385
00:15:20,903 --> 00:15:21,870
and just powers down.

386
00:15:21,904 --> 00:15:22,904
Now look at him.

387
00:15:22,939 --> 00:15:25,090
You've got to unleash the power

388
00:15:25,124 --> 00:15:26,341
of the pyramid.

389
00:15:26,375 --> 00:15:29,344
I don't know
what to tell you, man.

390
00:15:29,378 --> 00:15:30,679
You think it
has something to do

391
00:15:30,713 --> 00:15:31,980
with that incentive program?

392
00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:33,014
Oh, 100%.

393
00:15:33,049 --> 00:15:34,099
We all want to see you
tattoo your ass.

394
00:15:34,133 --> 00:15:35,517
Uh...

395
00:15:35,551 --> 00:15:36,885
I think people thought
I was kidding

396
00:15:36,919 --> 00:15:37,953
when I said that.

397
00:15:37,987 --> 00:15:39,254
No, you definitely
weren't kidding.

398
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,089
That came across
loud and clear.

399
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:42,691
Oh, by the way,
wanna hand this in?

400
00:15:42,725 --> 00:15:43,959
120 points?

401
00:15:43,993 --> 00:15:44,993
Yeah, big sale.

402
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:46,144
Don't worry about it, though.

403
00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:47,312
I don't really care
about the points.

404
00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:49,531
I would like
a point receipt, though.

405
00:15:49,565 --> 00:15:52,200
Hey, yes, this is Jim Halpert
calling for Donald.

406
00:15:52,235 --> 00:15:53,702
Can you hold on for one second?

407
00:15:53,736 --> 00:15:55,153
Thank you very much.

408
00:15:55,204 --> 00:15:56,655
Who talked to Maggie
at Kaufman's?

409
00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:58,606
Erin.

410
00:15:58,624 --> 00:16:00,208
Yes, Mrs. Guffner?

411
00:16:00,243 --> 00:16:02,160
Right.

412
00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:03,545
And I'm back.

413
00:16:03,579 --> 00:16:05,463
How are you, sir?

414
00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:08,884
Erin can squeeze a couple more
golf games in, right?

415
00:16:12,255 --> 00:16:15,090
No, I'm not getting out there
anytime soon.

416
00:16:15,124 --> 00:16:16,808
Hey, Kevin.
What are you doing?

417
00:16:16,842 --> 00:16:20,461
Don't talk to me!

418
00:16:27,036 --> 00:16:28,353
Hi, Professor Frank.

419
00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:30,005
Andy Bernard, class of '95.

420
00:16:30,105 --> 00:16:31,189
Hey, there.

421
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,875
Um, I'm a huge fan
of your management book,

422
00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:35,243
management.

423
00:16:35,278 --> 00:16:36,745
Um, quick question.

424
00:16:36,779 --> 00:16:38,747
I may be missing
a chapter here.

425
00:16:38,781 --> 00:16:40,649
De-incentivizing?

426
00:16:40,683 --> 00:16:41,750
What are your strategies?

427
00:16:41,784 --> 00:16:43,852
Looking for a real blow
to morale.

428
00:16:43,886 --> 00:16:46,121
Uh, why?

429
00:16:46,155 --> 00:16:48,523
Well, um, I guess you could say

430
00:16:48,558 --> 00:16:51,593
I'm in one of those classic
ass-tattoo incentive situations.

431
00:16:57,133 --> 00:16:58,099
Yes!

432
00:17:02,939 --> 00:17:05,223
Took 'em one day.

433
00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:06,524
Are you ready?

434
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:08,560
"I'm not as think
as you drunk I am."

435
00:17:10,146 --> 00:17:11,679
I like it.

436
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:12,680
I like it.

437
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:13,848
"Do not resuscitate."

438
00:17:15,067 --> 00:17:16,952
Okay, let's keep in mind,

439
00:17:16,986 --> 00:17:18,853
it's not too late
to choose another prize.

440
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:21,573
And there are
some great new additions.

441
00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:23,491
My car—

442
00:17:23,525 --> 00:17:25,193
For 1,000 points.

443
00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:26,227
Or best offer.

444
00:17:26,262 --> 00:17:27,412
What else you got?

445
00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:28,964
Oh, and then this
was Phyllis's idea.

446
00:17:32,401 --> 00:17:35,553
- Oh, my God!
- So nasty, Phyllis.

447
00:17:38,674 --> 00:17:42,477
We were hoping you could do
something like this.

448
00:17:42,511 --> 00:17:44,545
So coming out
of his butt is a—

449
00:17:44,563 --> 00:17:45,546
- Baby.
- Baby.

450
00:17:45,564 --> 00:17:47,048
Yes.

451
00:17:47,083 --> 00:17:48,383
Yeah, no problem.

452
00:17:49,752 --> 00:17:51,219
You should think about this.

453
00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:53,321
Anyone have any better ideas?

454
00:17:53,356 --> 00:17:54,739
I like what we have.

455
00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:55,857
- Yeah, nice try.
- Yeah.

456
00:17:55,891 --> 00:17:56,958
For sure what we have.

457
00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:58,076
- It's funny.
- It's apropos.

458
00:18:01,230 --> 00:18:03,748
Just need a second outside.

459
00:18:11,407 --> 00:18:12,841
- You getting psyched up?
- Yeah.

460
00:18:12,875 --> 00:18:15,126
Andy, nobody really expects
you to go through with this.

461
00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:16,311
Tunes...

462
00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:19,580
What am I doing here?

463
00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:21,749
Why did Robert pick me?

464
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:24,919
Confession,
I don't know what I'm doing.

465
00:18:24,954 --> 00:18:27,188
I mean, do you like it?

466
00:18:27,223 --> 00:18:28,306
You having fun?

467
00:18:29,992 --> 00:18:31,059
Tell you this,

468
00:18:31,093 --> 00:18:32,961
everybody else is having
a lot of fun.

469
00:18:32,995 --> 00:18:35,280
And you did that.

470
00:18:35,314 --> 00:18:37,065
But my ass is only so big.

471
00:18:37,099 --> 00:18:38,500
I mean, I can't do this
every day.

472
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:40,001
But I think it's big enough
to buy you some time

473
00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:41,820
till your next great idea.

474
00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:44,706
Which, by the way,
I can't wait for.

475
00:18:48,244 --> 00:18:49,944
No one expects me to go
through with this, right?

476
00:18:49,979 --> 00:18:51,546
Absolutely not.

477
00:18:56,619 --> 00:18:58,636
Let's ink my stink!

478
00:18:59,889 --> 00:19:01,473
- Andy!
- Yeah!

479
00:19:01,507 --> 00:19:03,475
My heart belongs to music.

480
00:19:03,509 --> 00:19:07,028
But my ass belongs
to these people.

481
00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:08,563
Whoa!

482
00:19:08,597 --> 00:19:11,299
Good stuff.

483
00:19:11,333 --> 00:19:15,070
Do your worst.

484
00:19:15,104 --> 00:19:17,322
Uh, you can keep
your pants on, actually.

485
00:19:17,356 --> 00:19:18,473
If you just drop 'em
down a bit,

486
00:19:18,507 --> 00:19:19,640
that'd be great.

487
00:19:19,658 --> 00:19:20,909
They're already off,
my good sir.

488
00:19:20,943 --> 00:19:23,144
I'd really prefer
they not be down.

489
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:24,312
Well, I think down's better.

490
00:19:24,346 --> 00:19:25,747
Sweating pretty heavily
down there.

491
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,371
Do you think you could work
from this?

492
00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:34,989
We made some small adjustments.

493
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:36,691
- Okay, you want me to—
- Just these few adjustments.

494
00:19:36,726 --> 00:19:38,376
Yeah.

495
00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:40,261
All right, let's begin.

496
00:19:40,296 --> 00:19:41,880
This is where I grin and—
Ow! Ow!

497
00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:42,997
That was just a cotton swab.

498
00:19:43,032 --> 00:19:45,850
Invest in softer cotton, sir.

499
00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:48,503
Whew.

500
00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:50,004
Oh, boy.

501
00:19:50,039 --> 00:19:51,856
Oww!

502
00:19:51,941 --> 00:19:53,108
Ohhh! Ho, ho!

503
00:19:55,227 --> 00:19:56,528
Ohhh!

504
00:19:56,562 --> 00:19:57,946
Whoa!

505
00:19:57,980 --> 00:20:00,415
Obviously, you can go
the ass tattoo route.

506
00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:02,951
And obviously,
I'm gonna like it.

507
00:20:02,985 --> 00:20:05,086
Draw some blood!
Ha!

508
00:20:06,956 --> 00:20:09,240
Ahhhhh-haaaaa!

509
00:20:12,895 --> 00:20:13,995
Great tattoo.

510
00:20:14,029 --> 00:20:16,531
Why did I choose Andy
to run the office?

511
00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:19,868
Because he's all surface,
uncomplicated.

512
00:20:19,902 --> 00:20:21,803
What you see is what you get.

513
00:20:21,837 --> 00:20:24,639
Could be a recipe
for mediocrity, yes,

514
00:20:24,673 --> 00:20:26,374
but then again,
it might just be

515
00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:30,094
why people fight for him.

516
00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:32,046
It's a nard dog.

517
00:20:34,350 --> 00:20:35,767
That's my nickety-name.

518
00:20:35,818 --> 00:20:37,819
- Yeah!
- Woo-hoo!

519
00:20:37,853 --> 00:20:39,237
I love it.
I love it.

520
00:20:39,271 --> 00:20:40,438
Pull up your pants.

521
00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:43,107
There's something
about an underdog

522
00:20:43,159 --> 00:20:47,862
that really inspires
the unexceptional.

523
00:20:49,915 --> 00:20:51,365
Um, what should we talk about?

524
00:20:51,383 --> 00:20:53,751
Well, we could talk
about an ethical dilemma

525
00:20:53,802 --> 00:20:55,036
I'm having.

526
00:20:55,054 --> 00:20:56,203
Oh, yeah, sure.

527
00:20:56,221 --> 00:20:57,972
Um, I hope I can help.

528
00:20:58,007 --> 00:21:00,842
A coworker of mine is drinking
caffeine while pregnant,

529
00:21:00,876 --> 00:21:02,243
and I don't know if I should
call social services

530
00:21:02,277 --> 00:21:03,428
about it.

531
00:21:03,479 --> 00:21:05,680
Angela, that's pretty
transparently me.

532
00:21:05,714 --> 00:21:07,548
Maybe.

533
00:21:07,566 --> 00:21:09,383
You know, it's just herbal tea.

534
00:21:09,401 --> 00:21:12,437
In mugs with trace amounts
of coffee.

535
00:21:12,488 --> 00:21:15,569
Yeah, I think you should
call social services.

536
00:21:15,604 --> 00:21:17,348
I already did.

537
00:21:18,530 --> 00:21:20,897
You know, maybe we should just
have our own pregnancy as

538
00:21:20,980 --> 00:21:22,997
in not pretend like we
are in this together.

539
00:21:23,627 --> 00:21:25,482
- Fine.
- Fine.

540
00:21:27,507 --> 00:21:31,580
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com