1
00:00:01,103 --> 00:00:03,183
Back orders and you
never call them.

2
00:00:04,370 --> 00:00:07,236
- Can you believe this?
- There's a dog in the car.

3
00:00:09,425 --> 00:00:11,686
You can't leave a dog
in a parked car!

4
00:00:11,888 --> 00:00:13,224
Snowboarder, it figures.

5
00:00:13,434 --> 00:00:15,302
Dude, snowboarders
ain't animals?

6
00:00:15,396 --> 00:00:17,566
I bet this guy didn't leave
his weed in the car.

7
00:00:17,946 --> 00:00:21,158
Okay, we have to do something
because this is incredibly dangerous.

8
00:00:21,279 --> 00:00:22,506
Oscar, is not that hard out.

9
00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:24,494
A car parked in the sun
is like a toast oven.

10
00:00:24,645 --> 00:00:27,175
Well, we don't know how long
the driver's been gone and

11
00:00:27,271 --> 00:00:29,046
it's not in direct sun light.

12
00:00:29,182 --> 00:00:30,087
So what, Andy?

13
00:00:30,106 --> 00:00:31,324
You wanna just let him die,
you scumbag?

14
00:00:31,358 --> 00:00:33,461
Here, I'm gonna get in my car.

15
00:00:33,496 --> 00:00:34,763
When I start dying,

16
00:00:34,781 --> 00:00:37,068
I will honk the horn
three times.

17
00:00:37,103 --> 00:00:38,838
That means save the dog.

18
00:00:38,873 --> 00:00:40,041
Okay, you know what?

19
00:00:40,075 --> 00:00:41,444
I'm gonna give him
something to drink.

20
00:00:41,462 --> 00:00:42,663
Come here, doggy.

21
00:00:45,136 --> 00:00:46,120
Come on.

22
00:00:46,138 --> 00:00:47,122
Dwight, at least aim it.

23
00:00:47,140 --> 00:00:48,925
There you go.
Here, doggy.

24
00:00:48,959 --> 00:00:50,128
You're not even trying.
Come here, doggy, come on.

25
00:00:50,146 --> 00:00:51,431
We're losing cloud cover.

26
00:00:51,465 --> 00:00:53,201
Oh, don't try to get in
on it now, Michael Vick.

27
00:00:53,236 --> 00:00:55,305
Hey, hey, hey.
Vick did his time.

28
00:00:55,323 --> 00:00:56,658
This guy's been gone
long enough.

29
00:00:56,692 --> 00:00:58,311
He's lost his right
to a window.

30
00:00:58,345 --> 00:00:59,563
Get back, buddy.
Get back.

31
00:00:59,615 --> 00:01:00,849
Oscar, what are you—
What— No, hey!

32
00:01:03,623 --> 00:01:05,492
All right.

33
00:01:05,526 --> 00:01:07,212
Yeah!

34
00:01:07,247 --> 00:01:09,032
Nice job, Oscar.

35
00:01:09,050 --> 00:01:10,552
And one for good measure.

36
00:01:10,586 --> 00:01:11,554
Oh!

37
00:01:11,588 --> 00:01:12,873
Yeah!

38
00:01:12,891 --> 00:01:14,844
So, uh— Who's gonna
take the dog?

39
00:01:14,878 --> 00:01:16,447
Why would we take the dog?

40
00:01:16,482 --> 00:01:18,384
What if he jumps out
the window and runs away?

41
00:01:18,402 --> 00:01:19,603
Jim, he's not gonna start—

42
00:01:20,723 --> 00:01:22,225
Shh, stay, stay.

43
00:01:22,243 --> 00:01:24,280
Nein. Sit.

44
00:01:24,331 --> 00:01:25,966
Good.

45
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,305
Oscar, what do you wanna do?
This is kinda your deal.

46
00:01:28,339 --> 00:01:29,573
You want a dog?

47
00:01:33,349 --> 00:01:34,934
There we go.
That should do it.

48
00:01:34,968 --> 00:01:37,021
- Yeah, it's good.
- It'll work.

49
00:01:37,056 --> 00:01:38,424
Nice job.

50
00:01:38,442 --> 00:01:40,027
- Bye, poochie.
- Bye.

51
00:01:40,062 --> 00:01:42,633
Woof, woof.

52
00:01:52,727 --> 00:01:59,453
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com

53
00:02:08,853 --> 00:02:09,820
What's that come to?

54
00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:10,956
Like, what did they each win?

55
00:02:10,990 --> 00:02:12,376
Oh man, it's gotta be...

56
00:02:12,427 --> 00:02:13,628
Over $100,000.

57
00:02:13,662 --> 00:02:15,030
Yeah, before taxes.

58
00:02:15,065 --> 00:02:17,503
That's still a lot of money.

59
00:02:17,537 --> 00:02:20,341
The warehouse crew won
the lottery yesterday.

60
00:02:20,359 --> 00:02:23,514
$950,000.

61
00:02:23,532 --> 00:02:24,567
And then they quit.

62
00:02:24,618 --> 00:02:26,537
And, no one else can focus.

63
00:02:26,572 --> 00:02:27,539
This is it.

64
00:02:27,574 --> 00:02:29,058
This is all on my shoulders.

65
00:02:29,094 --> 00:02:31,164
I'm the one who has to tell
everyone to get back to work.

66
00:02:31,198 --> 00:02:32,883
I'm the one
who has to tell Darryl to hire

67
00:02:32,917 --> 00:02:34,103
a new warehouse crew.

68
00:02:34,137 --> 00:02:37,676
I'm the one who has to say
those things.

69
00:02:40,566 --> 00:02:43,053
Hello?

70
00:02:43,087 --> 00:02:45,926
Justine.

71
00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:49,166
Nice surprise.
How you doing, baby?

72
00:02:49,201 --> 00:02:52,105
No, no, no.
I didn't win.

73
00:02:52,140 --> 00:02:53,641
When I got promoted,
I stopped—

74
00:02:53,676 --> 00:02:55,645
What?

75
00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:59,553
Yeah, yeah.
Glen won.

76
00:02:59,588 --> 00:03:00,805
Oh, you wanna call him?

77
00:03:00,857 --> 00:03:02,659
Yeah, you should call him.

78
00:03:02,694 --> 00:03:05,115
Congratulate him.
That would be—

79
00:03:05,149 --> 00:03:07,269
What?

80
00:03:07,287 --> 00:03:09,874
Oh, this number
is in your old phone.

81
00:03:09,908 --> 00:03:10,876
Oh, you know what?

82
00:03:10,910 --> 00:03:13,080
I might have it right—
Whoops.

83
00:03:13,115 --> 00:03:16,954
When I worked in the warehouse,
I was part of that lotto pool.

84
00:03:16,989 --> 00:03:18,791
They won...

85
00:03:18,826 --> 00:03:20,795
Playing my birthday.

86
00:03:20,830 --> 00:03:23,985
What really interests me is
the group dynamic of six people

87
00:03:24,019 --> 00:03:24,987
winning the lottery.

88
00:03:25,021 --> 00:03:26,307
This will not end well, right?

89
00:03:26,325 --> 00:03:27,492
Yeah.

90
00:03:27,527 --> 00:03:28,945
We're looking at
at least one suicide

91
00:03:28,979 --> 00:03:30,782
- and one weird sex thing.
- At least.

92
00:03:30,816 --> 00:03:32,753
I don't even know what
I'd do with all that money.

93
00:03:32,787 --> 00:03:34,189
I know what you'd do
with all that money.

94
00:03:34,224 --> 00:03:35,392
"Hey, Pam.

95
00:03:35,426 --> 00:03:37,095
Let's buy
expensive bathrobes and hug."

96
00:03:37,130 --> 00:03:39,400
No, I'd probably buy
a big piece of land in Maine,

97
00:03:39,434 --> 00:03:41,654
build a house, work in town.

98
00:03:41,688 --> 00:03:44,176
Somewhere I could
bike to or kayak to.

99
00:03:44,210 --> 00:03:46,447
And either bike to my job
at the kayak shop

100
00:03:46,481 --> 00:03:48,534
or kayak to my job
at the bike shop.

101
00:03:48,586 --> 00:03:49,987
And then on the weekends,
would you hackysack

102
00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:52,058
back to reality and spend time
with your wife and kids?

103
00:03:52,093 --> 00:03:54,730
Whoa, saucy.
I thought you liked Maine.

104
00:03:54,764 --> 00:03:56,901
I think we should get
a townhouse in Soho.

105
00:03:56,935 --> 00:03:58,938
Soho's mostly lofts, but okay.

106
00:03:58,973 --> 00:04:00,508
And then, every morning,

107
00:04:00,543 --> 00:04:01,944
I'd walk out onto my terrace,

108
00:04:01,979 --> 00:04:04,700
and I would breathe
in the inspiration of the city.

109
00:04:04,734 --> 00:04:07,756
You know, and just gather
ideas for my painting.

110
00:04:07,790 --> 00:04:09,410
Oh, God.

111
00:04:09,461 --> 00:04:11,046
And then my handsome husband—

112
00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:12,332
Which, ideally, would be me.

113
00:04:12,367 --> 00:04:13,501
Would bring me
a flavored coffee.

114
00:04:13,535 --> 00:04:15,588
Stop. I'm a barista
in your fantasy?

115
00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:17,909
Well, in your fantasy,
we're Stephen King characters.

116
00:04:17,944 --> 00:04:19,263
I don't know
about Stephen King.

117
00:04:19,314 --> 00:04:21,267
Get a divorce. Get a divorce.

118
00:04:21,318 --> 00:04:23,287
I think I would keep working.

119
00:04:23,322 --> 00:04:24,723
And for my salary,

120
00:04:24,741 --> 00:04:27,663
I guess I would take, like,
a dollar a year.

121
00:04:27,697 --> 00:04:30,135
Obviously, I wouldn't come
in till noon.

122
00:04:30,169 --> 00:04:33,508
And I wouldn't do anything
I didn't wanna do.

123
00:04:33,542 --> 00:04:36,012
I mean, I'm getting paid
a dollar a year, okay?

124
00:04:36,047 --> 00:04:37,649
You can chill.

125
00:04:37,684 --> 00:04:39,803
Are you kidding me?
Guys?

126
00:04:39,854 --> 00:04:41,891
If I have to ask you to
get back to work one more time,

127
00:04:41,925 --> 00:04:44,196
I'm gonna change my tone.

128
00:04:44,230 --> 00:04:46,300
To down here, like Mr. T.

129
00:04:46,334 --> 00:04:48,604
And this would get
seriously annoying.

130
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:50,108
I feel sympathy for the jerks

131
00:04:50,142 --> 00:04:51,627
who have to listen
to this all day.

132
00:04:51,661 --> 00:04:52,779
Darryl.

133
00:04:52,797 --> 00:04:54,216
How we doing on
the new warehouse guys?

134
00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:55,835
I don't know.

135
00:04:55,886 --> 00:04:56,837
What—
Wh-Wh-

136
00:04:56,888 --> 00:04:57,856
Do we have new guys?

137
00:04:57,890 --> 00:04:58,858
No.

138
00:04:58,892 --> 00:05:00,228
Are they on their way over?

139
00:05:00,262 --> 00:05:01,230
I haven't hired anyone.

140
00:05:01,264 --> 00:05:02,933
What?
No warehouse guys?

141
00:05:02,967 --> 00:05:05,171
I have an important order
that has to go out by five.

142
00:05:05,206 --> 00:05:06,974
I emailed you about it.

143
00:05:06,992 --> 00:05:09,313
I'm not checking email
until lunch.

144
00:05:09,347 --> 00:05:10,698
4-hour work week.

145
00:05:10,750 --> 00:05:12,084
- This is kind
of time-sensitive.

146
00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:14,088
I got it.
I'm doing it.

147
00:05:14,124 --> 00:05:15,825
Andy, this is
a seriously big order.

148
00:05:15,843 --> 00:05:17,345
I can't lose this client.

149
00:05:17,380 --> 00:05:19,015
All right, well,
until we have a new crew,

150
00:05:19,049 --> 00:05:20,552
let's get some volunteers
for warehouse duty.

151
00:05:20,603 --> 00:05:21,837
Who's in?

152
00:05:21,855 --> 00:05:23,340
As long as you guys
don't need me up here.

153
00:05:23,358 --> 00:05:26,213
I think we'll be fine.

154
00:05:26,248 --> 00:05:27,849
Really?
Nobody's gonna help her?

155
00:05:27,884 --> 00:05:29,736
Is chivalry dead?
Are you volunteering?

156
00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:31,957
Of course... I would.

157
00:05:31,992 --> 00:05:34,329
But my hip—

158
00:05:34,363 --> 00:05:35,832
I would kill to be at 100%.

159
00:05:35,866 --> 00:05:36,834
Jim, how about you?

160
00:05:36,868 --> 00:05:38,204
Uh, yeah—
I mean,

161
00:05:38,238 --> 00:05:40,425
as the strongest person in this
office, I guess I should—

162
00:05:40,476 --> 00:05:41,977
Okay, no, no.

163
00:05:42,012 --> 00:05:44,900
That— You are so not—
Oh, God.

164
00:05:46,221 --> 00:05:49,726
False.
Andy, I will volunteer.

165
00:05:49,744 --> 00:05:51,280
Great.

166
00:05:51,331 --> 00:05:52,299
And Kevin.

167
00:05:53,468 --> 00:05:55,538
Good old Kevin.

168
00:05:55,573 --> 00:05:58,094
He'll do anything.

169
00:05:58,128 --> 00:05:59,513
Well, guess what?

170
00:05:59,547 --> 00:06:02,552
I will not do a good job.

171
00:06:05,759 --> 00:06:07,529
- Oh, thank you.
- Sure.

172
00:06:07,563 --> 00:06:09,616
Wait, wait.
What's this?

173
00:06:09,651 --> 00:06:10,618
Oh, sorry.

174
00:06:10,653 --> 00:06:11,787
I thought it was

175
00:06:11,821 --> 00:06:14,176
a guess-your-baby's-birth
weight pool.

176
00:06:14,210 --> 00:06:15,578
It says "lotto pool."

177
00:06:15,612 --> 00:06:16,580
Right on top.

178
00:06:16,614 --> 00:06:19,887
Yeah.
And I said sorry.

179
00:06:19,921 --> 00:06:21,090
Oh, come on.

180
00:06:21,124 --> 00:06:22,092
You really think I'm gonna have

181
00:06:22,126 --> 00:06:27,135
a 14-pound baby?

182
00:06:31,294 --> 00:06:32,812
When did I get so fat?

183
00:06:32,830 --> 00:06:34,316
You look awesome.

184
00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:36,153
I didn't hire anyone
if that's why you're here.

185
00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:37,722
Where are we in the process?

186
00:06:37,757 --> 00:06:39,376
I have a file
of applicants here.

187
00:06:39,427 --> 00:06:41,397
I just gotta open it,
look at it,

188
00:06:41,431 --> 00:06:43,968
interview a bunch of guys,
hire some of them.

189
00:06:44,002 --> 00:06:47,225
So I say we're in the early
stages of the process.

190
00:06:47,276 --> 00:06:49,579
Did you go out celebrating
with the guys last night?

191
00:06:49,614 --> 00:06:51,750
They guys did invite me
out to celebrate,

192
00:06:51,785 --> 00:06:54,189
but I decided to just stay home.

193
00:06:54,223 --> 00:06:56,075
Eat a bunch of tacos
in my basement.

194
00:06:56,127 --> 00:06:58,164
You do have
a fantastic basement.

195
00:06:58,198 --> 00:07:00,735
I did.

196
00:07:00,769 --> 00:07:04,008
I did have
a fantastic basement.

197
00:07:04,042 --> 00:07:06,914
Now it smells like tacos.

198
00:07:06,948 --> 00:07:09,319
You can't air out a basement.

199
00:07:09,354 --> 00:07:11,523
And taco air is heavy.

200
00:07:11,557 --> 00:07:15,298
It settles at the lowest point.

201
00:07:15,332 --> 00:07:18,571
Right, um,

202
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:20,575
well, how about we take
a look at some applications?

203
00:07:21,878 --> 00:07:23,597
This guy wrote his in green ink.

204
00:07:23,632 --> 00:07:28,641
That's pretty cool.
Check it out.

205
00:07:30,229 --> 00:07:31,447
Hey.

206
00:07:31,481 --> 00:07:34,903
There you go.
There he is.

207
00:07:34,937 --> 00:07:36,156
That is not Darryl.

208
00:07:36,207 --> 00:07:37,542
I don't know where Darryl is.

209
00:07:37,576 --> 00:07:38,944
I suspect, probably,

210
00:07:38,979 --> 00:07:43,086
our Darryl is
inside of that Darryl.

211
00:07:43,121 --> 00:07:47,128
Okay. 300 boxes
of 20 pound white.

212
00:07:47,146 --> 00:07:50,301
That's 75 boxes per person.
So, that's not so bad.

213
00:07:50,335 --> 00:07:51,603
Negative.

214
00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:53,340
300 boxes for me,

215
00:07:53,375 --> 00:07:54,609
0 for you chumps.

216
00:07:54,643 --> 00:07:57,115
Deal with it.

217
00:07:57,149 --> 00:07:58,117
Nice.

218
00:08:00,004 --> 00:08:01,990
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh!

219
00:08:02,008 --> 00:08:03,461
Oh!

220
00:08:03,495 --> 00:08:04,963
Damn.

221
00:08:04,997 --> 00:08:06,833
Ah!

222
00:08:18,158 --> 00:08:20,161
Yup.

223
00:08:24,569 --> 00:08:26,655
Welcome everybody.
My name is Andy,

224
00:08:26,689 --> 00:08:31,815
and this is
my other brother, Darryl.

225
00:08:31,849 --> 00:08:34,154
What? No Newhart fans?

226
00:08:34,188 --> 00:08:35,289
Okay.

227
00:08:35,323 --> 00:08:38,312
Darryl, how do we
usually kick things off?

228
00:08:38,346 --> 00:08:39,597
You mean, what did
we do the last time

229
00:08:39,632 --> 00:08:41,301
the warehouse won the lottery?

230
00:08:41,335 --> 00:08:42,637
Your old crew won the lottery?

231
00:08:42,671 --> 00:08:43,639
Does anyone have experience

232
00:08:43,673 --> 00:08:48,014
shelving, storing,
keeping track—

233
00:08:48,048 --> 00:08:49,651
What do we use?
The Dewey decimal system?

234
00:08:49,685 --> 00:08:52,022
Wait, wait.
So, all the old guys quit?

235
00:08:52,056 --> 00:08:53,208
- Oh, yeah.
- Well—

236
00:08:53,243 --> 00:08:54,727
One of them, Glen, is starting

237
00:08:54,762 --> 00:08:56,698
one of those fat camps
where he steals your kid

238
00:08:56,732 --> 00:08:58,102
in the middle of the night.

239
00:08:58,136 --> 00:09:00,940
Madge and a couple of the guys
might start a strip club.

240
00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:02,243
But on a boat.

241
00:09:02,277 --> 00:09:06,351
And Hide is investing
in an energy drink

242
00:09:06,385 --> 00:09:07,436
for Asian homosexuals.

243
00:09:09,942 --> 00:09:12,363
Um, could you guys
give us a minute?

244
00:09:12,397 --> 00:09:14,868
But stay close.
You're all doing great.

245
00:09:14,902 --> 00:09:16,204
Maybe grab a coffee,

246
00:09:16,238 --> 00:09:17,406
or if there's any donuts out,

247
00:09:17,424 --> 00:09:19,210
you can split one.

248
00:09:19,244 --> 00:09:22,150
You know, they're for everybody
so people get fussy.

249
00:09:22,184 --> 00:09:24,187
You know what?
Just have a donut.

250
00:09:33,873 --> 00:09:35,041
Do you want to talk about this

251
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,795
- not-winning-the-lottery thing?
- I don't.

252
00:09:36,829 --> 00:09:40,619
You sure? 'Cause you keep
talking about it, so—

253
00:09:40,637 --> 00:09:44,627
Nope. I'm good.
I'm here.

254
00:09:44,662 --> 00:09:45,729
Let's find
some warehouse workers.

255
00:09:45,764 --> 00:09:46,982
Good, great.

256
00:09:47,016 --> 00:09:48,235
Then, can you say things
that aren't like,

257
00:09:48,269 --> 00:09:51,324
a huge bummer to everybody?

258
00:09:51,359 --> 00:09:53,311
'Cause the more I talk,
the more they're gonna realize

259
00:09:53,329 --> 00:09:54,697
I don't know
what I'm talking about.

260
00:09:54,748 --> 00:09:55,816
Okay.

261
00:09:55,834 --> 00:09:56,818
We need you, okay?

262
00:09:56,836 --> 00:09:57,820
Okay.

263
00:09:57,838 --> 00:09:58,822
- Okay?
- Yeah.

264
00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:01,494
All right.

265
00:10:05,937 --> 00:10:07,440
What's the problem?

266
00:10:07,474 --> 00:10:09,360
Grunting is scientifically
proven to add more power.

267
00:10:09,395 --> 00:10:11,381
Ask any female tennis player,

268
00:10:11,415 --> 00:10:12,984
or her husband.

269
00:10:16,959 --> 00:10:17,910
I didn't feel anything.

270
00:10:20,834 --> 00:10:23,138
All right, thank you
for coming back in.

271
00:10:23,172 --> 00:10:24,390
Again.

272
00:10:24,425 --> 00:10:25,809
Now we're going to ask you
a few questions.

273
00:10:25,844 --> 00:10:27,396
Darryl, you have the floor.

274
00:10:27,431 --> 00:10:28,515
Why do you want to work here?

275
00:10:28,549 --> 00:10:29,817
I need a job.

276
00:10:29,852 --> 00:10:30,919
It's not a good reason.

277
00:10:30,954 --> 00:10:32,189
Good.

278
00:10:32,224 --> 00:10:33,525
Keeping them honest.

279
00:10:33,559 --> 00:10:35,529
Don't just take the first job
that comes your way.

280
00:10:35,563 --> 00:10:36,865
'Cause next thing you know,

281
00:10:36,899 --> 00:10:39,504
it's ten years later,
and you're still there.

282
00:10:39,538 --> 00:10:41,641
You could write
your obituary tomorrow.

283
00:10:41,676 --> 00:10:44,280
It's not gonna change.

284
00:10:44,315 --> 00:10:46,751
Are we scaring them straight?

285
00:10:46,769 --> 00:10:47,887
I hope so.

286
00:10:47,921 --> 00:10:49,123
Think about this carefully.

287
00:10:49,158 --> 00:10:52,646
There's better lives
than this one.

288
00:10:57,808 --> 00:10:59,410
I've never been lucky.

289
00:10:59,445 --> 00:11:00,879
And I'm not talking
about the lottery.

290
00:11:00,914 --> 00:11:02,483
I'm talking about stuff like

291
00:11:02,517 --> 00:11:06,257
developing a soy allergy at 35.

292
00:11:06,292 --> 00:11:10,099
Who gets a soy allergy at 35?

293
00:11:10,133 --> 00:11:11,868
And why is soy in everything?

294
00:11:11,902 --> 00:11:13,605
Nice.

295
00:11:13,639 --> 00:11:15,475
Right back where I like you.

296
00:11:15,493 --> 00:11:16,978
Can you make
ten copies of this for me?

297
00:11:16,996 --> 00:11:17,980
No.

298
00:11:17,998 --> 00:11:19,417
Why not?
What are you doing?

299
00:11:19,451 --> 00:11:21,154
Uh, buying
lottery tickets online.

300
00:11:22,323 --> 00:11:25,011
Ah, everyone wants to be rich.

301
00:11:25,045 --> 00:11:27,299
But nobody wants to work for it.

302
00:11:27,334 --> 00:11:28,852
You came in at 10:30 today,
right?

303
00:11:28,886 --> 00:11:33,578
Okay, just dismiss it.

304
00:11:33,613 --> 00:11:36,217
- Is everyone licensed?
- Like a driver's license?

305
00:11:36,252 --> 00:11:39,590
No.
Warehouse license.

306
00:11:39,625 --> 00:11:41,861
Master's in warehouse sciences.

307
00:11:41,896 --> 00:11:44,667
I feel that Darryl has talked
about a license of some kind.

308
00:11:44,701 --> 00:11:47,756
- Is this a joke?
- No. Not joking.

309
00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:50,112
This is real.

310
00:11:50,146 --> 00:11:54,120
Painfully real,
what is happening, right now.

311
00:11:54,154 --> 00:11:56,658
Okay, I'm not gonna make it.

312
00:11:56,692 --> 00:11:58,829
I'm turning back.

313
00:11:58,863 --> 00:12:00,599
There's gotta be
a better way to do this.

314
00:12:00,633 --> 00:12:02,402
This is literally
how they built the pyramids.

315
00:12:02,420 --> 00:12:04,590
Well, they whipped people,
which is helpful.

316
00:12:04,625 --> 00:12:05,876
But you're right.

317
00:12:05,910 --> 00:12:07,129
We should be able to find
a more efficient way

318
00:12:07,180 --> 00:12:08,932
of moving boxes
than Madge and Hide.

319
00:12:08,966 --> 00:12:10,686
Yeah.

320
00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:13,158
Not that they're not
smart people.

321
00:12:13,192 --> 00:12:14,961
No, no.
Very smart—

322
00:12:14,995 --> 00:12:16,498
Theirs is more of
a "physical" intelligence.

323
00:12:16,532 --> 00:12:17,500
I'd go with that.

324
00:12:17,534 --> 00:12:18,902
Like baboons or elephants.

325
00:12:18,936 --> 00:12:20,272
Not that, don't—

326
00:12:20,306 --> 00:12:24,012
Guys, when I was a kid,
my sisters used to butter me up,

327
00:12:24,046 --> 00:12:26,384
and slide me across
the linoleum floor

328
00:12:26,418 --> 00:12:27,753
of the kitchen.

329
00:12:27,787 --> 00:12:29,590
It really made them laugh.

330
00:12:29,624 --> 00:12:30,692
It's a great idea, Kev.

331
00:12:30,727 --> 00:12:31,694
I don't think
it applies here, though.

332
00:12:31,729 --> 00:12:32,796
So, maybe we just—

333
00:12:32,814 --> 00:12:35,469
Yeah, we move stuff
and have fun.

334
00:12:35,503 --> 00:12:37,189
Kevin, doesn't apply.

335
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:38,441
Right, my mom—

336
00:12:38,475 --> 00:12:40,812
You need to drop it.
Okay?

337
00:12:40,847 --> 00:12:42,081
They hate it.

338
00:12:42,117 --> 00:12:43,952
I like it a lot,
but they hate it,

339
00:12:43,986 --> 00:12:45,989
so drop it.

340
00:12:49,097 --> 00:12:53,471
Does anybody get distracted
easily by bubble wrap?

341
00:12:55,693 --> 00:12:57,646
You'll be dealing with
lots of bubble wrap.

342
00:12:57,681 --> 00:12:59,650
Obviously.
Um—

343
00:12:59,685 --> 00:13:01,254
How much longer
is this going to take?

344
00:13:03,726 --> 00:13:05,529
Did you hire them?

345
00:13:05,563 --> 00:13:07,700
No, because they all left.

346
00:13:07,734 --> 00:13:09,470
What do you mean, "they left"?

347
00:13:09,504 --> 00:13:12,443
I mean, after you bailed,

348
00:13:12,477 --> 00:13:13,645
I got confused,

349
00:13:13,679 --> 00:13:15,682
and frankly, a little weird.

350
00:13:15,716 --> 00:13:17,720
And the stuff that you said

351
00:13:17,754 --> 00:13:19,072
certainly didn't help.

352
00:13:19,107 --> 00:13:20,759
Then I think
you should fire me.

353
00:13:22,113 --> 00:13:23,598
What are you talking about?
I'm not gonna fire you.

354
00:13:23,633 --> 00:13:27,206
Yeah, just put me
out of my misery.

355
00:13:29,594 --> 00:13:32,216
Okay, this is weird.
I don't— I don't get the joke.

356
00:13:32,250 --> 00:13:35,722
No? Okay.

357
00:13:35,756 --> 00:13:39,764
I don't wanna be here anymore.

358
00:13:39,798 --> 00:13:42,786
Fire me.

359
00:13:48,066 --> 00:13:50,670
So Darryl says to me, "fire me",
but what he really means is,

360
00:13:50,705 --> 00:13:51,739
"I'ma say
something really weird.

361
00:13:51,773 --> 00:13:54,111
Try and figure out
what it means."

362
00:13:54,129 --> 00:13:56,665
So I say,
"no, you're not fired."

363
00:13:56,717 --> 00:13:58,853
But what I really mean is,

364
00:13:58,887 --> 00:14:01,959
"I've no idea what
you're talking about.

365
00:14:01,993 --> 00:14:03,146
"But I'm going to go ahead
and hire some people

366
00:14:03,180 --> 00:14:04,281
"for the warehouse
and hope that

367
00:14:04,315 --> 00:14:09,475
you eventually
start feeling better."

368
00:14:09,509 --> 00:14:12,814
I really hope that's what
he and I mean.

369
00:14:12,849 --> 00:14:14,418
Attention.

370
00:14:14,452 --> 00:14:16,505
Does anyone know anyone
who could work in a warehouse?

371
00:14:16,540 --> 00:14:18,008
We can pay.

372
00:14:18,042 --> 00:14:19,428
Come on, Oscar.

373
00:14:19,462 --> 00:14:21,182
Who's the most jacked guy
in all of Scranton?

374
00:14:21,216 --> 00:14:22,350
Like your wildest fantasy guy?

375
00:14:22,385 --> 00:14:23,970
Bulk or definition?

376
00:14:24,004 --> 00:14:25,306
Definition.

377
00:14:25,340 --> 00:14:27,511
Bruce Kenward.
He hangs out at planet fitness.

378
00:14:27,545 --> 00:14:29,281
Are those just show muscles,

379
00:14:29,315 --> 00:14:30,567
or is he really strong?

380
00:14:30,618 --> 00:14:31,852
Oh, he's plenty strong.

381
00:14:31,870 --> 00:14:33,356
He used to be Reggie Winters

382
00:14:33,390 --> 00:14:35,126
out at gold's gym.

383
00:14:35,161 --> 00:14:36,395
But he moved away.

384
00:14:36,429 --> 00:14:39,066
And then it was between
Bruce and this guy, Dean.

385
00:14:39,102 --> 00:14:42,808
Um, but Dean got fixated
on his calves,

386
00:14:42,842 --> 00:14:45,346
and, uh,

387
00:14:45,381 --> 00:14:47,184
and his triceps went to hell.

388
00:14:47,218 --> 00:14:49,154
So, I've been thinking,

389
00:14:49,189 --> 00:14:51,192
after we win the lottery,
we take our winnings...

390
00:14:51,226 --> 00:14:52,260
Our fake winnings.

391
00:14:52,295 --> 00:14:54,030
And we move
to the South of France.

392
00:14:54,064 --> 00:14:57,002
See— No, there's plenty
of bicycling for you.

393
00:14:57,037 --> 00:14:58,239
I think that's where they do
the Tour De France.

394
00:14:58,273 --> 00:14:59,608
It is, yeah.

395
00:14:59,642 --> 00:15:00,593
I mean, I just don't know
why I'm compromising

396
00:15:00,628 --> 00:15:01,612
if it's my fantasy.

397
00:15:01,646 --> 00:15:02,848
Because in my fantasy,

398
00:15:02,882 --> 00:15:04,050
it's Maine, and you love it.

399
00:15:04,084 --> 00:15:05,353
Because I'm never gonna
act like that,

400
00:15:05,387 --> 00:15:07,423
even in your fantasy.

401
00:15:07,441 --> 00:15:09,528
Nope, you— You're doing
a great job at it

402
00:15:09,562 --> 00:15:11,064
in my fantasy, right now.

403
00:15:11,099 --> 00:15:13,119
Hey, idiot.
What did Erin want again?

404
00:15:13,153 --> 00:15:15,940
A hot chocolate tea.

405
00:15:15,975 --> 00:15:19,882
Gideon, you are a PhD candidate

406
00:15:19,916 --> 00:15:22,837
studying America's diminishing
blue-collar work force?

407
00:15:22,889 --> 00:15:24,224
North America.

408
00:15:24,259 --> 00:15:26,662
And diminishing is a little
reductive, but, uh, sure.

409
00:15:26,696 --> 00:15:28,349
That's the headline version.

410
00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:30,186
Great.

411
00:15:30,237 --> 00:15:31,689
Well, it will bring
a fresh, new perspective

412
00:15:31,740 --> 00:15:32,741
to the warehouse.

413
00:15:32,775 --> 00:15:33,743
FYI,

414
00:15:33,777 --> 00:15:34,878
Wednesday through Friday,

415
00:15:34,913 --> 00:15:35,980
I have a pretty full
teaching schedule.

416
00:15:36,015 --> 00:15:37,082
Oh.
Cool.

417
00:15:37,118 --> 00:15:38,419
We'll figure that out.

418
00:15:38,453 --> 00:15:40,990
Also, FYI,

419
00:15:41,025 --> 00:15:44,865
ah, I don't technically
have a hearing problem.

420
00:15:44,899 --> 00:15:47,237
But sometimes,
when there's a lot of noises

421
00:15:47,271 --> 00:15:49,374
occurring at the same time,

422
00:15:49,409 --> 00:15:52,180
I'll hear them
as one big jumble.

423
00:15:52,214 --> 00:15:54,618
Uh, again, it's not
that I can't hear.

424
00:15:54,652 --> 00:15:56,622
Because that's false.
I can.

425
00:15:56,656 --> 00:16:01,030
Um, I just can't distinguish
between everything I'm hearing.

426
00:16:01,048 --> 00:16:02,700
Got it.
Duly noted.

427
00:16:02,718 --> 00:16:03,753
You.

428
00:16:03,804 --> 00:16:05,539
Coolest tank top I've ever seen.

429
00:16:05,557 --> 00:16:06,842
Where did you get that?

430
00:16:06,876 --> 00:16:08,980
- Made it.
- So cool.

431
00:16:09,014 --> 00:16:10,383
What a cross section
we have here.

432
00:16:10,401 --> 00:16:11,652
It's what I love
about interviewing.

433
00:16:11,686 --> 00:16:13,406
I get to meet all these people

434
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:16,060
I wouldn't ordinarily
meet, or know, or even talk to.

435
00:16:16,078 --> 00:16:18,031
Message in a bottle,
the postman—

436
00:16:18,065 --> 00:16:21,070
Kevin Costner.

437
00:16:24,379 --> 00:16:26,080
So...

438
00:16:26,116 --> 00:16:27,550
I found this grease.

439
00:16:27,584 --> 00:16:28,636
And then I remembered that

440
00:16:28,687 --> 00:16:30,055
you thought it was a great idea.

441
00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:31,975
You did say
it was a great idea.

442
00:16:32,027 --> 00:16:35,366
I heard you say it.

443
00:16:35,401 --> 00:16:38,004
So it's not the dumbest idea.

444
00:16:38,039 --> 00:16:39,241
It's not the greatest one—

445
00:16:39,275 --> 00:16:41,378
But the fact remains,
we gotta move these boxes.

446
00:16:41,413 --> 00:16:45,001
And it's clear
we're not gonna carry them.

447
00:16:45,053 --> 00:16:46,621
So sadly, it's the best idea
on the table.

448
00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:47,824
Exactly.

449
00:16:47,858 --> 00:16:50,897
Hey, I think we're ready
to get this—

450
00:16:50,931 --> 00:16:51,899
- Yup.
- Is he okay?

451
00:16:51,933 --> 00:16:55,406
He'll be fine.

452
00:16:55,441 --> 00:16:59,281
Surprise!
Your new crew.

453
00:16:59,315 --> 00:17:02,120
Would you just fire me, man?

454
00:17:02,154 --> 00:17:03,255
Hey, why?

455
00:17:03,290 --> 00:17:05,359
Because you didn't win
the lottery?

456
00:17:05,394 --> 00:17:06,962
How am I supposed
to make you happy?

457
00:17:06,996 --> 00:17:08,566
You wanna make me happy?
Huh?

458
00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:10,001
- Yeah.
- Give me your job.

459
00:17:10,036 --> 00:17:13,142
- Ah, what?
- I'll do it better than you.

460
00:17:13,176 --> 00:17:15,078
I earned it.
I deserve it.

461
00:17:15,114 --> 00:17:17,683
I got passed over,
God knows why.

462
00:17:17,701 --> 00:17:21,040
Reasons I cannot
and will not understand.

463
00:17:21,074 --> 00:17:22,293
The job was mine, Andy.

464
00:17:22,328 --> 00:17:24,898
Everyone said it was mine.

465
00:17:24,932 --> 00:17:27,103
Make me manager or fire me.

466
00:17:27,138 --> 00:17:29,090
I'm not going
to give you my job.

467
00:17:29,142 --> 00:17:32,380
It's my job!
I earned it!

468
00:17:32,414 --> 00:17:34,451
And here's the thing.
You weren't even next in line.

469
00:17:34,485 --> 00:17:36,822
I asked about you.
I saw your file.

470
00:17:36,856 --> 00:17:38,092
You have a history
of being short with people,

471
00:17:38,126 --> 00:17:40,563
and you hired Glen, your buddy,

472
00:17:40,597 --> 00:17:41,782
to replace
you in the warehouse.

473
00:17:41,833 --> 00:17:44,204
He was underqualified.
They saw that.

474
00:17:44,238 --> 00:17:46,007
Also, Darryl, FYI,

475
00:17:46,041 --> 00:17:47,410
I already told this to Andy,

476
00:17:47,444 --> 00:17:48,712
but, uh, you should
probably know,

477
00:17:48,747 --> 00:17:51,919
I technically don't have
a hearing problem.

478
00:17:51,953 --> 00:17:53,355
It's just when there's
a lot of noises—

479
00:17:53,390 --> 00:17:56,695
Nate. Please.

480
00:17:56,729 --> 00:18:00,903
Thank you.

481
00:18:00,938 --> 00:18:02,840
You have no business education.

482
00:18:02,875 --> 00:18:04,678
You were going to take
classes under DeAngelo.

483
00:18:04,712 --> 00:18:05,663
What happened with that?

484
00:18:05,714 --> 00:18:06,682
He died.

485
00:18:06,716 --> 00:18:08,385
He didn't die.
His brain died.

486
00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:10,489
And my brain is very much alive.

487
00:18:10,524 --> 00:18:12,594
And I'd be happy to give you
business classes.

488
00:18:12,628 --> 00:18:14,130
How come you haven't asked me
about it?

489
00:18:14,165 --> 00:18:16,401
What was—
What was the last—

490
00:18:16,436 --> 00:18:17,570
I'm having a—

491
00:18:17,605 --> 00:18:21,511
No part of this has anything
to do with you.

492
00:18:21,546 --> 00:18:23,816
I didn't have time
because of my daughter.

493
00:18:23,850 --> 00:18:26,255
Oh, but you had time
for a softball clinic.

494
00:18:26,289 --> 00:18:27,490
And a mediterranean
cooking class.

495
00:18:27,524 --> 00:18:28,726
Hey, I'm not gonna
tell you this stuff

496
00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:29,828
if you're gonna throw it
back in my face!

497
00:18:29,862 --> 00:18:31,765
Hey, here's the thing.

498
00:18:31,799 --> 00:18:35,406
Jo saw something in you.
She loved you.

499
00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:38,779
She gave you a shot,
and then you stopped pushing.

500
00:18:38,813 --> 00:18:39,848
She noticed.

501
00:18:47,898 --> 00:18:48,966
Okay.

502
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:52,707
Okay, what?

503
00:18:52,725 --> 00:18:54,544
Okay, don't fire me.

504
00:18:59,322 --> 00:19:00,940
Okay.

505
00:19:00,991 --> 00:19:02,760
My future's not gonna
be determined

506
00:19:02,795 --> 00:19:05,766
by seven
little white lotto balls.

507
00:19:05,801 --> 00:19:09,507
It's gonna be determined
by two big black balls.

508
00:19:09,542 --> 00:19:12,280
I control my destiny.

509
00:19:12,314 --> 00:19:14,718
I do.

510
00:19:14,752 --> 00:19:16,338
I'll put some guys on tonight.

511
00:19:16,372 --> 00:19:18,692
The best of your bunch
and my bunch.

512
00:19:18,727 --> 00:19:19,694
Tell you now, though.

513
00:19:19,729 --> 00:19:20,880
It's gonna be mostly my bunch.

514
00:19:20,914 --> 00:19:22,700
Yeah, that makes sense.

515
00:19:22,735 --> 00:19:24,371
Okay, good.
All right.

516
00:19:24,405 --> 00:19:25,923
Are they here?

517
00:19:25,957 --> 00:19:27,543
What is going on?

518
00:19:27,578 --> 00:19:28,579
Oh, hey, guys.

519
00:19:28,613 --> 00:19:30,499
Why is the forklift
in the wall?

520
00:19:30,550 --> 00:19:31,918
Why is the truck empty?

521
00:19:31,952 --> 00:19:33,455
Uh, it's not totally empty.

522
00:19:33,490 --> 00:19:36,178
Is that grease on my floor?

523
00:19:36,229 --> 00:19:37,764
Okay.

524
00:19:37,798 --> 00:19:39,934
I can see why you're angry.
You're coming into this cold.

525
00:19:39,969 --> 00:19:43,675
But believe me,
a lot of thought went into this.

526
00:19:43,710 --> 00:19:46,248
And did your brains tell you
to ruin these boxes with grease?

527
00:19:46,282 --> 00:19:47,750
Okay, Darryl.

528
00:19:47,785 --> 00:19:50,489
Listen, and then
you will understand.

529
00:19:50,524 --> 00:19:53,896
The boxes were ruined
during our first trial testing.

530
00:19:53,930 --> 00:19:55,014
So now, it's cool.

531
00:19:55,049 --> 00:19:56,468
'Cause we found
another use for them.

532
00:19:56,502 --> 00:19:58,305
Okay, all right.

533
00:19:58,339 --> 00:19:59,541
That's— Look.

534
00:19:59,575 --> 00:20:00,943
All we were trying to do

535
00:20:00,977 --> 00:20:02,346
is we thought we could come up
with a more efficient way

536
00:20:02,364 --> 00:20:03,348
to do things.

537
00:20:03,383 --> 00:20:04,350
And?

538
00:20:04,368 --> 00:20:05,703
- And we did.
- I don't know.

539
00:20:05,737 --> 00:20:08,692
Jim, tell them
what it's called.

540
00:20:08,710 --> 00:20:10,028
That's all right.

541
00:20:10,062 --> 00:20:11,331
No, Jim, tell them
what the name is.

542
00:20:11,365 --> 00:20:13,836
Doesn't matter
what the name is.

543
00:20:13,870 --> 00:20:16,056
Señor Loadenstein.
That's stupid.

544
00:20:16,092 --> 00:20:18,212
Señor Loadenstein.

545
00:20:18,246 --> 00:20:19,881
Tell them why
it's called that, Jim.

546
00:20:19,899 --> 00:20:21,651
That's okay.
We're good.

547
00:20:21,686 --> 00:20:23,020
Nope, Jim. Tell us why

548
00:20:23,054 --> 00:20:27,062
it's called señor Loadenstein.

549
00:20:27,097 --> 00:20:28,665
Porque es muy rápido.

550
00:20:28,700 --> 00:20:29,667
Okay.
You know what?

551
00:20:29,702 --> 00:20:30,703
It's been a really busy day.

552
00:20:30,737 --> 00:20:31,755
What do you say
we put all this away?

553
00:20:31,789 --> 00:20:33,408
Let me see it.

554
00:20:33,443 --> 00:20:35,044
It's, uh, in beta testing.

555
00:20:35,078 --> 00:20:36,281
Let me see it!

556
00:20:36,315 --> 00:20:37,383
Get the thing, go!

557
00:20:37,417 --> 00:20:38,385
Lube it up.

558
00:20:38,419 --> 00:20:39,754
Kevin, start mopping.

559
00:20:39,788 --> 00:20:42,527
Uno, dos, tres.

560
00:20:42,561 --> 00:20:45,783
Ah!

561
00:20:45,817 --> 00:20:48,472
Yeah. I lost my client.

562
00:20:50,037 --> 00:20:51,071
I already won the lottery.

563
00:20:51,106 --> 00:20:53,176
I was born
in the US of A, baby.

564
00:20:53,210 --> 00:20:55,747
And as backup,
I have a Swiss passport.

565
00:20:55,782 --> 00:20:58,319
I would spend a lot of time

566
00:20:58,354 --> 00:20:59,889
launching my true crime podcast,

567
00:20:59,923 --> 00:21:01,626
the Flenderson Files.

568
00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:03,329
Dum-bum-ba.

569
00:21:03,364 --> 00:21:04,865
Flenderson Files.

570
00:21:04,900 --> 00:21:06,269
We came to an agreement.

571
00:21:06,303 --> 00:21:08,873
We're going to live
in a stunning, prewar brownstone

572
00:21:08,908 --> 00:21:10,110
at the top of a mountain.

573
00:21:10,144 --> 00:21:11,746
Right, the city
and country combined.

574
00:21:11,780 --> 00:21:13,650
Just a subway stop away
are the best museums

575
00:21:13,684 --> 00:21:14,685
in the world.

576
00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:17,349
And I can fish right
from the window

577
00:21:17,445 --> 00:21:18,655
of Pam's pottery studio.

578
00:21:18,656 --> 00:21:20,803
We can * any time we want.

579
00:21:20,838 --> 00:21:22,344
Just like now.

580
00:21:22,379 --> 00:21:23,644
Just like now.

581
00:21:27,717 --> 00:21:28,905
What are you gonna do?

582
00:21:29,227 --> 00:21:34,383
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com