Hey. So we saw a new billboard.
Yeah. Pretty cool, huh?
What better way to announce our new slightly lower prices
than with an ad campaign?
And what better face for an ad campaign than our new regional manager?
How'd it look? You've seen it, right?
No. Andy, somebody defaced it.
What? How?
Morning, Stanley
There's this thing that people tend to do with billboards
How do I put this?
If there's an opportunity for a graffiti artist to work in a phallic shape
interacting with the artwork, it'll happen.
And Andy gave them that opportunity.
Erin, how long did we order those billboards for?
Six months Oh, God.
I need you to call the billboard company
great billboard. Funny, edgy right up to the line without crossing it. Loved it.
Which one did you see? Washington Street
The one with like 20 dongs on it. Okay. Don't be gross
What's going on? Somebody defaced the billboards
we just put out in an inappropriate way
That's funny
Wait, from the photo shoot with you and me?
Yeah, Dwight
No. No
No, no, no, no, no, no
No, no, no, no, no. No
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
Schrute Farms is very easy to find.
It's right in the middle of the root vegetable district
If the soil starts to get acidic
you've probably gone too far.
Just give us the address we'll look it up online
It's simpler this way. It's really not
Now stated arrival time is 3:00 p.m.
I don't get the reason for this party. Yeah. What's the reason?
What's the reason, Andy? What's the reason?
It's just a garden party Sheesh!
You don't need a reason to throw a garden party
any more than you need a reason to throw a birthday party
It's a garden party You don't need a reason
A few other super simple reminders. No burping, no slurping
When eating, take small bites and chew thoroughly with your mouth closed
Yes, Darryl?
What happens when we're done chewing?
Do we spit it out on the floor or keep it in our mouths the rest of the time?
I get it. I'm being a little overbearing
But I promise to be under-bearing for a week
if you guys just all step it up.
Andy, we understand basic table manners We're not children.
Yeah. It's just a picnic
This is not a picnic, Phyllis It's a garden party.
There's a grill in the warehouse I could bring
Oh, ew Please don't. Not a barbecue
It's better than a barbecue It's dignified. Quieter. There are rules.
How is that better than a barbecue?
What's the dress code for this? I'm glad you asked
Connecticut casual
Any chance Connecticut casual is Pennsylvania business?
I.E., this is what I'm wearing to your party
guys, my family just threw a garden party to celebrate my brother's promotion.
It was a huge success
Check it out. There's a video online
Heartwarming impromptu father/son duet
Oh, yeah
Yeah. Oscar you showed me this
I've seen this. That's not you
Yeah. Who's the sausage?
It's my dad and my brother
I would have joined in but this melody
doesn't really support another harmony part, so
Check it out That's my brother's boss
Look how psyched he is He's having an awesome time
Ah
And did Robert California get an invite to your party?
Yeah, of course I mean, yeah I think he did
Why didn't you just say this was to impress Robert California?
I cannot believe that Andy is throwing a party like this just to impress the CEO.
Classic Gabe move
Hey, Andy, how about you don't steal my business strategies
and I won't dress like my life is just one long brunch
See you all there at 3:00 p.m Connecticut casual
Remember your manners and have a wonderful time
And please refer to the map Stay off of the web.
Thank you
So, we've typed in the address.
Now let's take a look at the street view
They don't warn you when the cameras are driving by Ah.
Why do you keep reading that garden party book?
I mean, how hard are finger sandwiches and tea?
There's so much more to it than that
I've been wanting Schrute Farms to break into
the high-end event hosting industry for some time,
and this party is a great opportunity
Plus, I've got a secret weapon
Only one copy in the world,
and some sucker on the Internet sold it to me for $2
I'm actually really disappointed in how poorly my book is doing.
I've only sold one copy
Is there anything you wish you'd done differently to avoid cankles?
Nope
I've already gone up another cup size.
The senator is grossed out
When do you start feeling it kick?
Cece was around 22 weeks but Philip was much earlier
Philip?
Oh, my gosh. Yes But don't say anything, okay?
It's after my grandfather
Philip is the name that we're using.
It's after my favourite cat
Oh, wow
Funny. It's after my grandfather.
It's after my cat
Andrew, I picked up two possible gifts to bring this afternoon.
One, a pot of marmalade.
Ooh, that sounds great
That is what you want then? The marmalade?
Sure
You don't want to hearthe otherone. You love marmalade?
I'll hear the other one
It's a basil plant.
You know, the marmalade sounds great.
I also mentioned the marmalade to my sister, and she's very interested.
Then the basil will be fine
Well, you clearly want the marmalade.
Gretchen, I need another marmalade.
All right.
Hey, where do I park? I'm the valet.
You have to give me your car, I'm parking. I can probably park it myself
I'm the valet. You have to give me your car.
It's probably okay that I park...
No. I think it's probably better that I
I'm the valet. You have to give me
It's a finicky car Get out of your car. Get out.
Have a good time at the thing.
It's a little tricky. You might want to
Mr. Ryan Howard
"Chapter Two. Announcing guests as they enter
"is the height of decorum
"The more volume displayed the more honour is bestowed upon everyone present."
Stanley Hudson and his mistress Cynthia
James, Pamela and Peepee Halpert
How's it going over here, guys? Andy, stop hovering
You're being really annoying
Didn't mean to bother you, Mable
"Mable, Mable if you're able,
"keep your elbows off the table." Wow
Mr. And Mrs. Walter and Ellen Bernard
So you all work with Andy?
Well, technically, for Andy
Technically for Robert California He's our CEO.
I thought you were the CEO
I don't know how you got there
You said you were running the company
This branch I'm the regional manager
Yes. Well, that makes more sense.
Are you a regional managers?
Did I throw this party to impress my parents? That's crazy
No, if they wanted a garden party, they could throw one themselves.
Which, as a matter of fact, they did last week.
They threw one for my baby brother, and it was totally amazing.
But I couldn't care less.
Can I introduce you around now?
Yeah, we don't have too long We have theatre tickets.
What are you going to see?
Moneyball.
It was Walter Jr.'s choice
MRS. BERNARD There he is. What?
Bro-nard
I didn't know you were going to be here
I wouldn't have missed it
Okay
Ahh
I'm Walter. I'm Andy's younger brother
Hey, how you doing? I'm Jim.
Tuna, right? And this must be your lovely wife, Pam
No Hell no
She wishes. No, no, no no, no. No
Sir, I need to be able to feed all the guests I understand
Excuse me
Set that down
Present yourself
"Chapter Four One of the host's most important duties
"is as dance master.
"A proper courtly dance sets the tone for the entire afternoon."
Ladies and gentlemen may I present
Robert California
Hello, Andy Welcome
Thank you Hey, I want you to meet
my first bosses Mom and Dad
Yes. Hello. Nice to meet you Pleasure.
Andy, where shall I put your basil plant?
I thought you were going to bring the marmalade?
No. I'm certain you said basil.
This is not funny, man Let me down.
I think this thing is broken. It's not broken, Kevin This is how it works.
It's so pretty today
It's getting chilly
Yeah. We really should be leaving
Yeah. Um
It'll be weird if the boss-man didn't make a toast, so hang on.
Everybody, I just want to take this opportunity to thank you all for coming
and to raise a glass to my amazing staff
Toasts are great. I mean, you toast somebody
they toast you back It just goes round and round
That's my favourite part about toasts, the reciprocity
Let's hear from you guys. Who do you want to toast?
Yeah, I'll say something
I think we should be acknowledging our boss
because none of us would be here without him
Robert California
To Robert Yay, Robert
I cannot believe I didn't think of toasting Robert. Get in the game, Gabriel
Why are you talking to Stanley's mistress?
I would like to toast someone who isn't here
but who will be in just four short months
Welcome to the world Philip Lipton.
Aww
I also would like to toast Philip Halpert
who's due even sooner
May he be a good namesake to my grandfather
who I promised as a child long before tonight,
that I would one day name my son after him
To Philip Halpert. To Philip
All right
She just always has to copy anything I do
It's the Ford Taurus situation all over again
I'd like to make a toast to the troops
Here, here Yes
All the troops Both sides
I think we should toast
Ladies and gentlemen the Last Supper.
"Chapter Nine The tableau vivant is not only welcome
"but expected entertainment at any garden party."
Andy?
I think that we should acknowledge the man
who has led us to such a profitable quarter.
To Robert California Yeah
I would also like to toast Robert California Mr. California...
You can't triple toast somebody
At least not until we hit everyone once
I'll say a few words if that's all right with you, Andy
Yeah
You people say I led you but it wasn't me
You want to toast the man who led you to success,
but the boss is irrelevant
Andy and I produce nothing We do nothing
We sit in our offices and demand,
"I want this and that right now" like petulant children
You know the difference between a crying baby and a manager?
One day the baby will grow up.
But without you, Andy and I would be sitting in our dirty diapers
waiting for someone to change us, wipe us
I should be toasting you thanking you,
for allowing me to have the easiest job in the universe.
Cheers Cheers
To Robert California
From the moment you entered our building and our hearts, you...
Some of you know that we have an Internet star in our midst.
Mr. Walter Banes Bernard, Sir please report to the stage.
I'm eating, Andy
Come on
Okay. All right
Okay
Yes Yeah, what do you want to do?
Well, how about one of our classic father/son duets?
Oh, whoa.
You sure?
Really? It's a little tricky
Saying I love you Is not the words
It's too high. It's high but it's not that high. Really?
Right. It feels strained Yeah. Just take it down.
Saying I love...
Saying I love you
Here. Just give it to me. Yeah Yeah
Okay
Something like
Saying I love you is not the word...
You don't come in yet
I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you
Not to say but if you only knew
More than words
Is all you have to do to make it real
Is anyone filming this? Seriously. Erin!
It's either taping or calling.
What would you do
If my heart was torn in two
You know what? Walter Jr. Is here
Why don't you come up and join us? JR.: Yeah, no
No, come up and do something with me. I don't know, Pop
I'm just having a good time getting to know Andy's friends here
Get up there and sing
or I will cut your larynx and you'll never be able to sing again
Whoo! Come on
Come on Give them what they want
All right. This old thing I don't even
May the good Lord be with you Down every road you roam
And may sunshine and happiness Surround you when you're far from home
And may you grow to be proud Dignified and true
And do unto others As you'd have done to you
Cheers! All right
What's going on? Cheers, cheers. Get your own guitar
Sorry. Please hang up and try again.
I am so cold It's because you didn't bring a jacket
My first love is beet farming, but it's a young man's game
Whoever heard of an old beet farmer? Forget the beets.
Concentrate on the hosting
I can spend a considerable amount of money having my birthday party here
Really? We have a number of birthday packages
The Pewter package has the least amount of goats.
It's not no goats it's still 10 to 12 goats
depending on the availability of the goats
Now the goat package, obviously, has the most goats What were you thinking?
Of course I am not interested in goats
Why would you spend so much time going over the goats with me?
I can get you exotic meats
Hippo steaks. Giraffe burgers
We'll talk
It'll all be goat
Hello, Cece Halpert This is Andrew Bernard
I'd very much like to speak with you about your paper supply needs
That wasn't even my worst sales call
MR. Hi
What was that display?
I don't know. I just thought
if I could throw this great garden party
and show you how respected I am that you'd be proud of me
Andrew I know
I know that you're proud of me.
I'm not going to tell you how impressed I am
that you're a manager of some rinky-dink branch
of a paper company in Scranton, Pennsylvania
How long are you going to go on needing my approval?
You're a grown man. Don't act like a little boy who needs...
I think if I had parents like that,
I'd be trying to convince everyone all the time how great I was, too
Guess we found Andy's Rosebud Rosebud?
It's a reference to Citizen Kane.
Something that explains why a person became the way they are.
I know Citizen Kane. Rosebud didn't explain why he was how he was
It just represented what was important to him as a child, that he missed.
Different school of thought. Let's just agree to disagree
No. You're wrong
Are you sure? Yeah. I'm too hot anyway
My body has somehow become acclimated to southern Italy
Isn't that strange? I've never been there
Oh! Ah. Well
Yes, that's nice
Thank you
It was a nice party. The setting was a little strange. The food
Sandwiches were dry
Bye, Tuna Bye, Pam
Hey, everybody I'm going to leave
and I just wanted to say I'm really sorry
Cheeseburger or hamburger?
Um
Cheeseburger
Nard-Dog
Thanks, Oscar
What are they doing?
Closing ceremonies
Nice touch
I think I left my wallet in your house. Who cares?
Right here Mr. James Halpert
Keys. My keys
Stop forgetting things. I didn't forget them They're right here.
Mr. James Halpert
I'm so sorry. I think I forgot the
What You idiot
Ooh Mis...
Mi.
What are you doing? Hey, I have a question
Who do you think is really the best salesman in this office?
Stupid question, obviously Mr. James Halpert!
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.