1
00:00:05,350 --> 00:00:07,768
Hey, everybody!
It's closing time

2
00:00:08,395 --> 00:00:10,688
You don't gotta go home
but you can't stay here.

3
00:00:16,820 --> 00:00:18,821
Closing time!

4
00:00:19,406 --> 00:00:22,491
Every office needs an
end-of-the-day tradition

5
00:00:23,118 --> 00:00:24,618
Something to tell you
the day's over.

6
00:00:24,703 --> 00:00:27,162
Otherwise, you go home
and the night just
feels like more day.

7
00:00:27,247 --> 00:00:28,288
it's weird

8
00:00:28,373 --> 00:00:29,581
Closing time!

9
00:00:29,708 --> 00:00:30,916
W, R, K

10
00:00:31,001 --> 00:00:32,751
One last call
for alcohol so...

11
00:00:32,836 --> 00:00:35,004
No, it's W, R, K
as in kitten?

12
00:00:35,088 --> 00:00:36,338
so finish your
whiskey or beer!

13
00:00:36,423 --> 00:00:37,589
Oh, my boss is
singing Closing Time,

14
00:00:37,716 --> 00:00:38,882
maybe that's
what you're hearing

15
00:00:38,967 --> 00:00:39,967
Come on, Pam

16
00:00:40,051 --> 00:00:41,719
Closing time!

17
00:00:42,595 --> 00:00:48,684
Time for you to go home
to the places you will be from

18
00:00:49,436 --> 00:00:53,105
Let's see
Andy has been manager
for 105 days,

19
00:00:53,481 --> 00:00:58,277
which means I've heard
Closing Time 105 times

20
00:00:58,945 --> 00:01:01,030
Still don't know the words

21
00:01:03,033 --> 00:01:05,409
Home and home and home

22
00:01:06,411 --> 00:01:10,789
I know who I want
to take me home!

23
00:01:11,416 --> 00:01:21,091
I know who I want
to take me home

24
00:01:21,259 --> 00:01:23,010
Take me home

25
00:01:25,889 --> 00:01:28,599
You know what? Fine!
I try to start fun
traditions for you guys

26
00:01:28,683 --> 00:01:31,268
but if you don't want
to sing, no traditions

27
00:01:32,187 --> 00:01:34,438
Closing time!

28
00:01:34,981 --> 00:01:36,982
Every new beginning...

29
00:01:37,192 --> 00:01:41,612
I never heard that song
before and once I heard it
I did not care for it.

30
00:01:41,696 --> 00:01:44,490
But that song means
it's time to go home.

31
00:01:44,866 --> 00:01:47,409
Now, it's my favourite song

32
00:01:48,244 --> 00:01:54,958
Every new beginning
comes from
some other beginning's end

33
00:01:55,293 --> 00:01:56,668
Good night

34
00:01:57,970 --> 00:02:04,044
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org

35
00:02:28,159 --> 00:02:30,577
This report is atrocious
Who's your favourite
Iron Chef?

36
00:02:31,037 --> 00:02:32,496
You go first

37
00:02:34,124 --> 00:02:37,376
The ticketing software
paints a picture

38
00:02:37,460 --> 00:02:41,463
of a sloppy, careless
error-prone office.

39
00:02:42,423 --> 00:02:45,217
Well, the monitoring software
is a double-edged sword.

40
00:02:45,385 --> 00:02:46,593
Sometimes the

41
00:02:46,678 --> 00:02:47,886
Sorry. Go ahead

42
00:02:48,388 --> 00:02:49,721
Mmm-hmm

43
00:02:52,100 --> 00:02:53,725
Did you need
something from us?

44
00:02:54,853 --> 00:02:55,894
Yes

45
00:02:58,148 --> 00:03:00,274
Your attention
because...

46
00:03:03,319 --> 00:03:04,903
No. That is all

47
00:03:11,828 --> 00:03:14,121
Last night
I dreamed that
the number two

48
00:03:14,247 --> 00:03:16,582
was the most valued
number in the world.

49
00:03:17,208 --> 00:03:19,251
The Vice President
had all the power,

50
00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:21,753
athletes fought
for silver medals,

51
00:03:21,963 --> 00:03:24,006
women were considered
the best gender.

52
00:03:24,465 --> 00:03:28,218
And stadiums of fans shouted,
"We're number two!"

53
00:03:30,513 --> 00:03:32,598
As with all my dreams,
I'm guessing

54
00:03:32,765 --> 00:03:34,850
it was about
my fear of immigrants

55
00:03:35,518 --> 00:03:37,352
Last week, an accounting
mistake resulted in

56
00:03:37,437 --> 00:03:39,188
a client getting
their order for free

57
00:03:39,272 --> 00:03:41,690
Ho! That's not good

58
00:03:41,774 --> 00:03:44,276
Chalk that one up
to "Tweedle-Dee'
and "Tweedle-Dum" out there

59
00:03:44,694 --> 00:03:46,612
Who are they?
They're both Kevin

60
00:03:46,738 --> 00:03:48,697
Oscar's the
Sex and the City gang,

61
00:03:48,781 --> 00:03:50,699
and Angela, if you can

62
00:03:50,783 --> 00:03:53,869
Andy, sometimes
I feel like you don't
know me at all.

63
00:03:54,287 --> 00:03:55,287
I would agree with that

64
00:03:55,371 --> 00:03:57,789
Simply end the mistakes

65
00:03:58,374 --> 00:03:59,374
End the mistakes. Easy

66
00:03:59,459 --> 00:04:03,545
When I come back next
week, and this report
shows me "No mistakes,'

67
00:04:03,630 --> 00:04:06,423
we can talk
about names all day

68
00:04:06,799 --> 00:04:09,218
Our favourite names,
silly made-up names

69
00:04:09,302 --> 00:04:12,638
normal names said
in a silly voice.
Wouldn't that be nice?

70
00:04:13,473 --> 00:04:14,473
I would like that

71
00:04:14,557 --> 00:04:16,183
End the mistakes

72
00:04:16,517 --> 00:04:18,143
That's all I ask

73
00:04:19,687 --> 00:04:21,813
And you can't have
a favorite Iron Chef

74
00:04:21,898 --> 00:04:24,942
It depends entirely on
the secret ingredient

75
00:04:25,526 --> 00:04:29,488
Sometimes I feel you
don't know food at all

76
00:04:34,327 --> 00:04:35,744
I'm just saying,
with the NBA lockout

77
00:04:35,828 --> 00:04:37,913
I think roller derby's
in a really good
place right now.

78
00:04:37,997 --> 00:04:41,667
So, my pitch is, me, Pam
you and someone else

79
00:04:42,001 --> 00:04:43,377
maybe Justine

80
00:04:44,337 --> 00:04:45,963
No. Not Justine

81
00:04:46,506 --> 00:04:47,673
Never Justine

82
00:04:48,007 --> 00:04:49,049
Is that off again?

83
00:04:49,133 --> 00:04:50,217
Oh, yeah.
Okay

84
00:04:50,301 --> 00:04:53,345
Hey, mandatory
warehouse safety
meeting today.

85
00:04:54,097 --> 00:04:56,223
We don't really do those
We just sign the thing.

86
00:04:56,849 --> 00:04:58,225
Are you really this lazy?

87
00:05:00,103 --> 00:05:01,478
I'll be there

88
00:05:03,022 --> 00:05:04,356
Hey
Hey

89
00:05:05,483 --> 00:05:07,150
Mondays suck

90
00:05:07,318 --> 00:05:08,652
Yeah. Yep

91
00:05:11,698 --> 00:05:13,365
Just trying to

92
00:05:16,035 --> 00:05:19,705
I may have a little solution
to our mistakes problem.

93
00:05:20,665 --> 00:05:23,000
This is a project
I've been working on
for quite some time.

94
00:05:23,084 --> 00:05:25,127
And today might be
the day to use it.

95
00:05:25,211 --> 00:05:26,253
What've you got?

96
00:05:26,879 --> 00:05:28,130
Allow me

97
00:05:31,801 --> 00:05:33,719
You're gonna love this

98
00:05:35,555 --> 00:05:36,763
Should've used
a shorter string.

99
00:05:36,889 --> 00:05:38,098
Never mind
I know it by heart

100
00:05:38,308 --> 00:05:42,436
It is a system that
holds people accountable
for everyone else's work.

101
00:05:42,895 --> 00:05:43,979
Sounds controversial

102
00:05:44,397 --> 00:05:45,939
Have I not been
worthy of your trust?

103
00:05:46,899 --> 00:05:49,067
Have I not been
a reliable number two?

104
00:05:49,402 --> 00:05:51,028
Do not go there

105
00:05:52,071 --> 00:05:54,281
You're the deuce
I never want to drop

106
00:05:54,532 --> 00:05:56,825
Well, I can make this work

107
00:05:56,909 --> 00:05:58,869
I'll set it up right now.
I just need your go ahead

108
00:05:59,162 --> 00:06:01,830
Go do the voodoo
that you do so we

109
00:06:01,914 --> 00:06:02,956
I will do my voodoo

110
00:06:03,041 --> 00:06:04,207
Mmm-hmm

111
00:06:05,501 --> 00:06:07,252
Hey. I need you to get
the paperwork rolling

112
00:06:07,378 --> 00:06:09,087
on a new
workplace relationship

113
00:06:09,172 --> 00:06:10,172
For you?

114
00:06:10,256 --> 00:06:11,214
Yes, for Gabe

115
00:06:11,299 --> 00:06:12,466
Who are you seeing?
That's great

116
00:06:12,550 --> 00:06:15,927
Whom I am seeing is Val,
from down in the warehouse

117
00:06:16,554 --> 00:06:18,555
I'm not technically
seeing her

118
00:06:18,681 --> 00:06:20,682
but, I've seen
her with the eyes

119
00:06:20,767 --> 00:06:24,061
And there was attraction
in at least one direction,
so...

120
00:06:26,606 --> 00:06:29,608
You know, I don't have
to do paperwork unless
you're actually dating.

121
00:06:30,109 --> 00:06:32,486
Okay. Well, once this starts
it's gonna be moving fast,

122
00:06:32,570 --> 00:06:34,112
it's gonna be hot and heavy
and I don't want

123
00:06:34,197 --> 00:06:35,697
a bunch of
bureaucratic red tape

124
00:06:35,782 --> 00:06:37,240
wrapped around my jock
you know?

125
00:06:37,492 --> 00:06:39,826
But I mean,
well, have you
talked to her?

126
00:06:39,911 --> 00:06:42,662
Yeah. We had a whole
conversation about Mondays

127
00:06:43,164 --> 00:06:45,248
Do you know
her last name yet?

128
00:06:45,333 --> 00:06:47,334
Toby, I'm gonna tell you
her last name tomorrow

129
00:06:47,418 --> 00:06:49,378
because she's gonna be
screaming it tonight.

130
00:06:49,462 --> 00:06:51,380
She's gonna be screaming
her own last name?

131
00:06:51,589 --> 00:06:53,340
Hey, watch it

132
00:06:54,592 --> 00:06:56,009
Good luck, Gabe

133
00:06:56,302 --> 00:06:57,469
Hi, guys
Hi.

134
00:06:57,553 --> 00:07:01,723
I just wanna say that
you all have been doing
amazing work, really.

135
00:07:01,808 --> 00:07:03,600
Thank you.
And I'd like to add

136
00:07:03,684 --> 00:07:05,519
that your work has
been a little sloppy

137
00:07:05,645 --> 00:07:08,313
So, Dwight and I
have implemented

138
00:07:08,439 --> 00:07:11,108
a new program that
we like to call...

139
00:07:11,776 --> 00:07:12,901
Dwight?

140
00:07:13,027 --> 00:07:14,194
The Accountability Booster

141
00:07:14,654 --> 00:07:17,739
It registers every time
a mistake has been
made in the office,

142
00:07:17,824 --> 00:07:20,659
from a late delivery
to an accounting error

143
00:07:20,785 --> 00:07:24,162
Five strikes in a day
equals a home run

144
00:07:24,247 --> 00:07:25,997
One home run
and you're out

145
00:07:26,749 --> 00:07:29,835
If we as a group make
five mistakes in a day

146
00:07:29,961 --> 00:07:33,338
something bad happens
Like, we block Minesweeper

147
00:07:33,506 --> 00:07:36,258
Or, in this case,
an e-mail gets sent
to Robert California

148
00:07:36,342 --> 00:07:38,093
containing the
consultant's report
from last year.

149
00:07:38,177 --> 00:07:40,512
Remember the one
that recommended
the branch be shut down?

150
00:07:40,596 --> 00:07:42,681
What?
And, as a failsafe, also

151
00:07:42,765 --> 00:07:45,851
every negative e-mail
you've ever written
about him to the group

152
00:07:45,935 --> 00:07:47,060
will also be
forwarded to him

153
00:07:47,145 --> 00:07:48,478
What e-mails are
you talking about?

154
00:07:48,563 --> 00:07:52,899
Robert's favorite
songs, Creep by TLC
Creep by Radiohead.

155
00:07:52,984 --> 00:07:54,526
You remember that one, Jim?

156
00:07:55,027 --> 00:07:57,821
"There's no way
he hasn't strangled
at least one stripper.'

157
00:07:57,905 --> 00:07:59,072
Oscar

158
00:07:59,532 --> 00:08:02,951
"He eats his yogurt
like he is punishing it
for disappointing him.'

159
00:08:03,035 --> 00:08:04,119
Kelly

160
00:08:04,203 --> 00:08:05,203
That's not that
bad, actually.

161
00:08:05,705 --> 00:08:07,038
PS, "We should
kill him."

162
00:08:08,207 --> 00:08:10,667
Wait. So, you installed
a doomsday device?

163
00:08:10,751 --> 00:08:12,461
No, it's an
Accountability Booster

164
00:08:12,545 --> 00:08:14,629
Which, when it goes off
it destroys everything

165
00:08:14,714 --> 00:08:16,047
very similar to
a doomsday device

166
00:08:16,132 --> 00:08:18,967
Jim, you're trying
to make me sound like
some kind of evil maniac

167
00:08:19,051 --> 00:08:22,012
No, the point is,
is that we are now
working in an environment

168
00:08:22,096 --> 00:08:25,390
where we have
accountability
to each other

169
00:08:25,558 --> 00:08:28,268
I am confident
that you guys are
equal to the task

170
00:08:28,769 --> 00:08:32,314
No, we're not.
And you are a psycho
who is ruining our lives

171
00:08:32,398 --> 00:08:34,065
We can't do this, Dwight.
We can't

172
00:08:35,401 --> 00:08:36,735
Smile

173
00:08:37,069 --> 00:08:38,778
Nod. Smile and nod

174
00:08:39,071 --> 00:08:41,156
They're making me out
to be a Bond villain.

175
00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:43,909
I like to think of myself
as a brilliant scientist

176
00:08:44,076 --> 00:08:46,786
who will stop at nothing
to remake the world.

177
00:08:47,371 --> 00:08:48,455
Like

178
00:08:50,082 --> 00:08:52,417
Not Doctor Moreau
someone good

179
00:08:53,961 --> 00:08:56,046
Doctor Frankenstein

180
00:08:56,130 --> 00:08:58,089
Doctor Jekyll, not them

181
00:08:59,967 --> 00:09:01,593
Doctor

182
00:09:05,097 --> 00:09:07,140
Are you sure
this is a good idea?

183
00:09:07,225 --> 00:09:10,227
I mean, the thing
about this office is
we make a lot of mistakes

184
00:09:10,436 --> 00:09:12,395
But the device
will change that

185
00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:14,814
Without a safety net
people will improve.

186
00:09:18,945 --> 00:09:21,613
All right, everybody,
looks like we need to
be getting to work.

187
00:09:21,697 --> 00:09:24,491
Be extra careful,
double-check everything

188
00:09:24,617 --> 00:09:26,660
Or the Accountability Booster
will get you.

189
00:09:26,744 --> 00:09:30,038
This doomsday device
sounds like
a scare tactic to me.

190
00:09:30,122 --> 00:09:32,707
There's an easy way to tell
if this device is a sham,

191
00:09:32,792 --> 00:09:34,668
we just make a mistake

192
00:09:35,002 --> 00:09:38,255
I'll send an order
down to shipping before
we've received payment

193
00:09:45,555 --> 00:09:47,389
There's one mistake

194
00:09:47,473 --> 00:09:49,474
Now we only have
four strikes left
until a home run.

195
00:09:49,559 --> 00:09:51,643
Dwight's our co-worker
and he worked really hard

196
00:09:51,727 --> 00:09:53,103
on this doomsday
device. So, I...

197
00:09:53,187 --> 00:09:55,730
it's not a doomsday
device! Gosh!

198
00:09:56,816 --> 00:09:58,483
We can do this, you guys

199
00:09:59,068 --> 00:10:00,151
First

200
00:10:00,236 --> 00:10:01,736
Second
it's not a race.

201
00:10:04,282 --> 00:10:05,407
Third

202
00:10:05,992 --> 00:10:07,284
Who knows
what the belt is for?

203
00:10:07,368 --> 00:10:08,743
It's for
protecting my ass

204
00:10:08,828 --> 00:10:10,495
when you suckers
lift more than
you can handle.

205
00:10:10,913 --> 00:10:11,955
What's up? I'm Gabe

206
00:10:12,498 --> 00:10:13,999
Corporate. Continue

207
00:10:14,208 --> 00:10:15,458
Don't be nervous

208
00:10:15,710 --> 00:10:17,002
Apparently,
we have a visitor

209
00:10:17,086 --> 00:10:18,086
Gabe, everyone

210
00:10:18,337 --> 00:10:19,337
Hi, Gabe

211
00:10:20,172 --> 00:10:22,882
All right
so the support belt.
Now this one is mine

212
00:10:22,967 --> 00:10:24,676
Doesn't get much
use nowadays.

213
00:10:24,844 --> 00:10:26,595
Look at this.
This is enormous

214
00:10:30,057 --> 00:10:33,184
I get the sense
that Val enjoys
a good put-down

215
00:10:33,352 --> 00:10:35,186
Considering
that's the only thing
I know about her,

216
00:10:35,313 --> 00:10:37,689
I will be milking that hard

217
00:10:38,441 --> 00:10:40,191
It's like a hula-hoop
right?

218
00:10:40,735 --> 00:10:44,112
Mele Kalikimaka
is Hawaii's way

219
00:10:46,949 --> 00:10:47,949
You done?

220
00:10:48,034 --> 00:10:50,702
The Michelin Man called,
he wants his cummerbund back

221
00:10:52,163 --> 00:10:55,165
Remember, we have
to get Regal Escrow
their refund by 5:00.

222
00:10:55,583 --> 00:10:56,583
I'm on it

223
00:10:56,751 --> 00:10:58,877
Kevin,
maybe I should
handle that.

224
00:10:59,253 --> 00:11:01,838
We really need you to
focus on your project.

225
00:11:02,048 --> 00:11:03,298
Good thinking

226
00:11:03,382 --> 00:11:06,384
Apparently
a big client for
this company

227
00:11:06,469 --> 00:11:09,554
needs to know the story
of how paper gets made

228
00:11:12,391 --> 00:11:14,768
Oscar, use a calculator

229
00:11:18,481 --> 00:11:22,192
When the stakes are this high
there's only one computer
that I trust

230
00:11:22,526 --> 00:11:25,570
And it's powered by
Thai food and Spanish reds

231
00:11:26,113 --> 00:11:27,364
All right, everybody
you're doing great.

232
00:11:27,448 --> 00:11:30,325
Well, I wouldn't say
that. Three mistakes
already is pretty terrible

233
00:11:30,409 --> 00:11:31,618
But I do see
improvement

234
00:11:31,702 --> 00:11:33,411
Meredith kept someone
on hold for 30 minutes,

235
00:11:33,496 --> 00:11:35,538
and now look
she's hard at work

236
00:11:36,582 --> 00:11:37,999
Dwight, question.
No questions

237
00:11:38,084 --> 00:11:39,584
If this doomsday
device goes off

238
00:11:39,669 --> 00:11:40,752
Accountability Booster

239
00:11:40,878 --> 00:11:41,961
If this bad idea goes off

240
00:11:42,046 --> 00:11:44,506
and we all lose our
jobs, are you gonna
feel good about that?

241
00:11:44,590 --> 00:11:45,882
I haven't even
considered it

242
00:11:45,966 --> 00:11:49,344
That's how sure I am
that this Accountability
Booster is gonna work

243
00:11:50,096 --> 00:11:51,471
Try "Mose-1-2-3-4.'

244
00:11:51,555 --> 00:11:53,723
Dwight would
never be that obvious
Try something like...

245
00:11:53,808 --> 00:11:56,685
"Z-6-4-$-8.'

246
00:11:57,269 --> 00:11:59,688
Not that exactly, Jim
something like that

247
00:11:59,772 --> 00:12:00,730
Okay

248
00:12:00,815 --> 00:12:03,358
How about
"Scranton-Strangler-6-6-6"?

249
00:12:04,694 --> 00:12:05,777
Nope
No?

250
00:12:05,861 --> 00:12:07,028
Aw...

251
00:12:07,113 --> 00:12:08,613
Shoot.

252
00:12:08,739 --> 00:12:11,324
You guys are never gonna
shut down the machine, okay?

253
00:12:11,575 --> 00:12:13,660
But I appreciate your energy
and your teamwork

254
00:12:13,744 --> 00:12:15,412
You apply this to
your regular work

255
00:12:15,496 --> 00:12:17,038
you won't even notice
that the device is there

256
00:12:17,123 --> 00:12:18,540
watching you
ready to strike

257
00:12:21,001 --> 00:12:22,335
What's Dwight's
mother's name?

258
00:12:22,962 --> 00:12:24,129
Hedda

259
00:12:26,841 --> 00:12:27,841
No

260
00:12:27,925 --> 00:12:29,968
Once you've read
the packet, sign the back

261
00:12:30,052 --> 00:12:31,720
Hey, Darryl.
I was thinking

262
00:12:31,804 --> 00:12:33,138
maybe while we
read through this

263
00:12:33,305 --> 00:12:34,681
you could grab us
all some coffee?

264
00:12:35,015 --> 00:12:36,307
My treat

265
00:12:37,017 --> 00:12:38,435
Here's a $100 bill

266
00:12:38,519 --> 00:12:40,103
That should cover it
I think.

267
00:12:40,229 --> 00:12:42,439
Don't bring me any
of that caramel soy
latte crap, okay?

268
00:12:42,523 --> 00:12:44,816
I want a decaf
frappuccino.

269
00:12:44,900 --> 00:12:45,900
Val?

270
00:12:45,985 --> 00:12:47,986
Actually, Val
why don't you come with?

271
00:12:48,070 --> 00:12:49,988
I'll need the extra hands
to carry them back.

272
00:12:50,072 --> 00:12:51,072
Yeah, sure

273
00:12:51,157 --> 00:12:52,282
Mmm-hmm

274
00:12:53,576 --> 00:12:54,617
Caramel soy latte

275
00:12:54,744 --> 00:12:55,785
No, a decaf frap

276
00:12:55,870 --> 00:12:57,078
Got it

277
00:12:59,707 --> 00:13:02,584
You sent the late
notice to Rinehart
and Wolfe, right?

278
00:13:03,169 --> 00:13:04,335
Mmm-hmm. 64620

279
00:13:07,673 --> 00:13:08,923
Nuh-uh.
Yes

280
00:13:09,008 --> 00:13:10,967
588 plus 15%

281
00:13:13,763 --> 00:13:15,680
Oh, no!
- What does this mean?

282
00:13:16,056 --> 00:13:17,599
What does it mean?
- Andy.

283
00:13:17,683 --> 00:13:18,933
Oh

284
00:13:20,394 --> 00:13:21,478
God

285
00:13:21,812 --> 00:13:22,937
That's five strikes

286
00:13:23,522 --> 00:13:24,606
Well

287
00:13:25,357 --> 00:13:28,860
I was saving this
for my retirement
which I guess is today

288
00:13:28,986 --> 00:13:30,153
Dwight, we got
five strikes.

289
00:13:31,781 --> 00:13:32,864
Really?

290
00:13:33,032 --> 00:13:34,115
Did the e-ma
go out or...

291
00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:35,658
It goes out
automatically
at 5:00 p.m

292
00:13:35,743 --> 00:13:37,744
Well, then there's
gotta be a way to stop it

293
00:13:37,912 --> 00:13:40,371
Well, I would have
to enter my password
in order to cancel it.

294
00:13:40,748 --> 00:13:41,873
Okay

295
00:13:41,957 --> 00:13:44,334
Dwight, you may now
enter your password.

296
00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:45,960
No

297
00:13:46,045 --> 00:13:47,128
What?
What?

298
00:13:47,213 --> 00:13:49,047
You don't deserve
to have this branch

299
00:13:49,131 --> 00:13:51,841
Five mistakes in
less than a day?

300
00:13:51,926 --> 00:13:53,134
We did our best

301
00:13:53,219 --> 00:13:54,969
No, you didn't, Phyllis

302
00:13:55,054 --> 00:13:56,471
You complained
the whole time,

303
00:13:56,555 --> 00:13:58,848
you yelled at me
you tried to break
into the machine.

304
00:14:00,059 --> 00:14:01,142
What?

305
00:14:01,227 --> 00:14:03,019
You're a real crumb bum
you know that?

306
00:14:03,103 --> 00:14:05,104
Hey, you can't
just change the rules

307
00:14:05,189 --> 00:14:07,148
because you don't
like the outcome.

308
00:14:07,233 --> 00:14:09,943
What about you, Kevin?
What about you
and your fake task?

309
00:14:10,027 --> 00:14:12,070
Can you tell me now
where paper comes from?

310
00:14:13,322 --> 00:14:15,573
The man tree
puts its penis

311
00:14:15,699 --> 00:14:17,659
Okay. All right, Andy,
back me up here, please

312
00:14:17,743 --> 00:14:18,743
No

313
00:14:18,994 --> 00:14:19,994
What?
No

314
00:14:20,079 --> 00:14:22,747
Dwight, be human for once
shut down the machine.

315
00:14:22,832 --> 00:14:24,624
Shut it down
Shut it down.

316
00:14:24,708 --> 00:14:26,000
Shut down the machine

317
00:14:26,085 --> 00:14:27,335
Shut it down

318
00:14:29,046 --> 00:14:31,589
good luck finding
a new job, idiots

319
00:14:31,715 --> 00:14:34,259
I'll make sure to write
you a glowing reference

320
00:14:34,343 --> 00:14:36,094
Glowingly negative

321
00:14:38,889 --> 00:14:40,056
Dwight's car is gone

322
00:14:40,724 --> 00:14:41,683
I bet he went home

323
00:14:41,767 --> 00:14:44,561
Some of us should go
there, try to talk
some sense into him.

324
00:14:44,645 --> 00:14:46,437
Get him to stop that e-mail

325
00:14:46,522 --> 00:14:49,440
Pam, you should come with
me. Dwight really likes you,

326
00:14:49,900 --> 00:14:51,526
and your breasts are
enormous, that could help us

327
00:14:52,069 --> 00:14:53,778
Kevin has that lovability

328
00:14:54,238 --> 00:14:55,738
Guys, come on

329
00:14:56,115 --> 00:14:57,198
I'm right here

330
00:14:57,283 --> 00:15:00,118
Jim, I want you
to go find Robert.
Just be where he is

331
00:15:00,202 --> 00:15:02,579
in case that e-ma
goes out at 5:00,

332
00:15:02,663 --> 00:15:04,956
you can try to
delete it or something

333
00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:06,207
Okay. Where is he?

334
00:15:06,292 --> 00:15:09,460
He's at some club
where you either eat
squash or play squash

335
00:15:10,838 --> 00:15:12,338
I'll try both

336
00:15:13,299 --> 00:15:14,549
Oh

337
00:15:14,633 --> 00:15:16,801
Did you come to
reason with me?

338
00:15:17,177 --> 00:15:18,428
Got you something

339
00:15:23,225 --> 00:15:26,644
And I just really
want to talk to you

340
00:15:26,812 --> 00:15:28,104
Get lost

341
00:15:28,272 --> 00:15:29,731
Well, now hold on

342
00:15:29,815 --> 00:15:30,857
What are you doing?

343
00:15:32,067 --> 00:15:33,443
What does it
look like I'm doing?

344
00:15:33,527 --> 00:15:34,986
Digging a grave
for a horse

345
00:15:38,324 --> 00:15:39,365
Do you need a hand?

346
00:15:40,826 --> 00:15:42,660
Yeah, you need a hand?

347
00:15:49,418 --> 00:15:52,045
If you hit another horse
you've dug too far

348
00:15:52,713 --> 00:15:54,923
I'll see you
next week, Will.

349
00:15:55,132 --> 00:15:56,341
Robert

350
00:15:57,009 --> 00:15:58,718
Jim, what are you

351
00:15:58,802 --> 00:15:59,844
What a surprise

352
00:15:59,929 --> 00:16:02,805
Yeah. Well, you know
I just had a meeting,
a squash meeting

353
00:16:02,890 --> 00:16:04,015
Yeah?

354
00:16:05,351 --> 00:16:06,392
You up for a game?

355
00:16:06,477 --> 00:16:07,852
A game? Or a match?

356
00:16:09,021 --> 00:16:10,772
Exactly! Here we go

357
00:16:11,023 --> 00:16:12,023
Let's do it

358
00:16:17,029 --> 00:16:18,780
Are you okay, Kevin?

359
00:16:22,284 --> 00:16:23,284
Where are you going?

360
00:16:23,369 --> 00:16:24,827
In. I'm hungry

361
00:16:25,037 --> 00:16:27,664
Could we come in, too?
Just for some water?

362
00:16:28,332 --> 00:16:29,874
Okay. Take off your shoes

363
00:16:29,959 --> 00:16:32,001
Except you, Kevin
They stay on

364
00:16:34,546 --> 00:16:37,215
Wow, I forgot how
pretty your house is

365
00:16:37,675 --> 00:16:41,427
This is the newest
addition, built by
Erasmus Schrute in 1808

366
00:16:41,512 --> 00:16:44,597
It doubled as
a tuberculosis recovery
room until 2009.

367
00:16:46,892 --> 00:16:49,102
That's too much doodle
and not enough lab

368
00:16:49,186 --> 00:16:51,938
Yeah, when are
they gonna do a Labradoodle
that's just lab?

369
00:16:52,022 --> 00:16:53,898
That's what I'm saying

370
00:16:58,320 --> 00:16:59,404
Hey

371
00:17:00,030 --> 00:17:01,781
You're welcome.
Thanks for the coffee

372
00:17:01,865 --> 00:17:04,450
So, tonight I was thinking,
I'm gonna go to the cemetery

373
00:17:04,535 --> 00:17:05,827
I'm gonna drink
a little wine

374
00:17:05,911 --> 00:17:07,745
and I thought
maybe you'd like
to come with me

375
00:17:08,497 --> 00:17:09,956
Are you asking me
on a date?

376
00:17:10,499 --> 00:17:11,874
Yes, I am

377
00:17:12,084 --> 00:17:13,418
Because I don't
date coworkers

378
00:17:13,627 --> 00:17:15,878
it's not personal.
it's a matter of policy

379
00:17:16,213 --> 00:17:17,338
I could quit

380
00:17:17,423 --> 00:17:18,423
Problem solved

381
00:17:18,507 --> 00:17:19,882
Don't quit

382
00:17:21,927 --> 00:17:23,886
Good policy
It's sensible

383
00:17:23,971 --> 00:17:25,138
Smart

384
00:17:26,932 --> 00:17:28,558
All right. Serving

385
00:17:28,642 --> 00:17:30,143
Serving, serving, serving

386
00:17:30,394 --> 00:17:32,353
In the box.
In the box

387
00:17:39,611 --> 00:17:41,738
Why haven't
we heard anything?

388
00:17:41,822 --> 00:17:44,615
It's 4:45
There's only
15 minutes left

389
00:17:44,950 --> 00:17:46,951
Oh, now you
can do math?

390
00:17:47,161 --> 00:17:48,953
Where were you
two hours ago
beautiful mind?

391
00:17:49,038 --> 00:17:50,705
I made a mistake
I'm sorry!

392
00:17:50,789 --> 00:17:52,874
I know how to save
the company, everyone

393
00:17:53,292 --> 00:17:56,377
Just write a petition,
get everyone's signature

394
00:17:56,462 --> 00:18:00,715
including our clients,
march down to Florida

395
00:18:00,799 --> 00:18:02,050
and shove it up your butt

396
00:18:04,470 --> 00:18:05,928
it's not that funny

397
00:18:17,483 --> 00:18:18,983
Pam, you got
something on
your shirt.

398
00:18:19,777 --> 00:18:21,569
Oh!

399
00:18:21,653 --> 00:18:24,989
Well, pobody's
nerfect, right?

400
00:18:25,324 --> 00:18:28,117
Did you just
have a stroke, Pam?
It's "nobody's perfect.'

401
00:18:28,744 --> 00:18:29,911
Nice stroke, Pam

402
00:18:29,995 --> 00:18:32,205
No, it's a jokey saying

403
00:18:32,289 --> 00:18:33,748
"Pobody's nerfect.'

404
00:18:33,832 --> 00:18:36,000
Like, I can't even
say those words right

405
00:18:37,336 --> 00:18:38,795
I hadn't heard that before

406
00:18:39,463 --> 00:18:40,922
That's funny

407
00:18:42,132 --> 00:18:43,508
Dwight,
there's just
the small

408
00:18:43,592 --> 00:18:47,011
You know what
would go so great
with this cabbage pie?

409
00:18:47,304 --> 00:18:48,262
Milk

410
00:18:48,347 --> 00:18:49,597
Any specific animal?

411
00:18:50,015 --> 00:18:52,433
I'm thinking cow
Don't say cow.

412
00:18:53,977 --> 00:18:56,104
What are you doing?
It's five to 5:00

413
00:18:56,188 --> 00:18:58,773
Just don't talk
about the e-mail, okay?

414
00:18:58,857 --> 00:19:01,317
He's gonna
cancel it on his own
I really think he will.

415
00:19:01,401 --> 00:19:03,319
That's insane
Just trust me.

416
00:19:03,403 --> 00:19:05,238
Trust you?
Like I trusted
Dwight this morning?

417
00:19:05,322 --> 00:19:06,656
I got this

418
00:19:11,870 --> 00:19:13,329
Thanks for everything

419
00:19:13,413 --> 00:19:14,789
Sive drafely

420
00:19:19,002 --> 00:19:21,629
Wasn't it supposed
to be drive safely?

421
00:19:25,717 --> 00:19:26,926
Is that my phone?

422
00:19:28,595 --> 00:19:29,804
Sounded like mine

423
00:19:29,888 --> 00:19:32,890
No, I think it's mine
Let me just check
real quick here

424
00:19:32,975 --> 00:19:34,225
All right

425
00:19:34,309 --> 00:19:37,061
No, it's mine.
You took it out of my bag

426
00:19:37,479 --> 00:19:39,021
Oh. Oops

427
00:19:39,106 --> 00:19:40,940
Yeah
Can I have it?

428
00:19:41,066 --> 00:19:42,108
Yes

429
00:19:43,819 --> 00:19:44,819
Right now?

430
00:19:44,903 --> 00:19:45,903
Yes
There you go

431
00:19:45,988 --> 00:19:47,864
Whoa! No! Wait, wait

432
00:19:48,574 --> 00:19:49,574
What the *?

433
00:19:49,658 --> 00:19:50,658
Oh, man
I'm sorry!

434
00:19:50,742 --> 00:19:52,535
Jesus!
Did it break?

435
00:19:52,995 --> 00:19:54,829
No, it's good, thanks.
You sure?

436
00:19:54,913 --> 00:19:56,080
Yeah

437
00:19:56,248 --> 00:19:57,415
What kind of
iPhone is that?

438
00:19:58,917 --> 00:20:00,626
It's the standard one,
the one everyone has

439
00:20:00,711 --> 00:20:03,087
Yeah. I have
the one that
nobody has.

440
00:20:03,172 --> 00:20:05,339
Is there anything
interesting?

441
00:20:05,424 --> 00:20:07,758
It depends, Jim.
Do you find one-day-only

442
00:20:07,926 --> 00:20:10,261
JetBlue sales to
Buffalo interesting?

443
00:20:11,930 --> 00:20:14,765
No, I don't

444
00:20:18,729 --> 00:20:19,937
All right

445
00:20:20,689 --> 00:20:24,525
Well, I am sore and
obviously horrible at this

446
00:20:24,610 --> 00:20:25,902
My serve

447
00:20:31,283 --> 00:20:32,992
Dwight stopped the device

448
00:20:33,785 --> 00:20:34,827
Yes

449
00:20:37,539 --> 00:20:39,040
He stopped it

450
00:20:39,875 --> 00:20:40,875
Yes

451
00:20:40,959 --> 00:20:42,293
We still have our jobs

452
00:20:42,669 --> 00:20:44,378
They're not
my favorite people
in the world

453
00:20:44,504 --> 00:20:46,130
I wouldn't even
call them friends.

454
00:20:46,215 --> 00:20:48,633
They come over here,
eat my pie,

455
00:20:48,717 --> 00:20:51,677
dig the crappiest horse grave
you've ever seen.

456
00:20:51,970 --> 00:20:55,514
God, I'm gonna have
to work with them
forever, aren't l?

457
00:20:57,643 --> 00:21:00,019
Just take it easy
Nice and easy

458
00:21:02,648 --> 00:21:03,648
Classic, right?

459
00:21:14,159 --> 00:21:15,326
Ooh

460
00:21:15,410 --> 00:21:16,869
I'm all right.
You all right?

461
00:21:16,995 --> 00:21:18,412
Yeah.
Skinned knee

462
00:21:18,497 --> 00:21:19,580
Yeah

463
00:21:22,292 --> 00:21:23,751
Need a little ice
on that, maybe.

464
00:21:23,835 --> 00:21:26,504
Yeah. That does
not feel good.

465
00:21:26,630 --> 00:21:28,214
Okay. My serve

466
00:21:29,275 --> 00:21:39,275
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