1 00:00:01,610 --> 00:00:04,575 The Sabre code of conduct outlines the governing principles 2 00:00:04,657 --> 00:00:07,010 key to establishing and maintaining trust with 3 00:00:07,097 --> 00:00:10,916 - our employees, clients... - Oh, my God. Kill me! 4 00:00:11,057 --> 00:00:14,100 Hey! All right, obviously we're all gonna die. 5 00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:16,064 But we gotta get through this, so, Gabe... 6 00:00:17,485 --> 00:00:19,517 Go ahead. It's okay. 7 00:00:19,652 --> 00:00:21,424 Is it okay with you? 8 00:00:21,459 --> 00:00:23,631 Because if it's not, you work for me, so... 9 00:00:23,666 --> 00:00:25,767 "Comply with all applicable laws, regulations, 10 00:00:25,801 --> 00:00:27,769 "policies, and contracts governing our business. 11 00:00:27,803 --> 00:00:29,237 - "Be honest, fair... - I'm gonna do it. 12 00:00:29,271 --> 00:00:31,155 "And trustworthy in all your business activities 13 00:00:31,190 --> 00:00:32,156 and relationships..." 14 00:00:32,191 --> 00:00:36,077 Oh! I'm going into labor! 15 00:00:36,111 --> 00:00:38,162 Okay, she's going into labor. Make way, everybody! 16 00:00:38,197 --> 00:00:40,882 I know it's wrong to fake going into labor 17 00:00:40,916 --> 00:00:43,501 just to get out of things, but sometimes it's necessary. 18 00:00:43,535 --> 00:00:45,420 I'm going into labor. 19 00:00:45,454 --> 00:00:47,321 Or should I have corndogs. I mean— 20 00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:48,673 - I'm going into labor! 21 00:00:48,707 --> 00:00:50,825 Okay, three reasons you are wrong about true blood. 22 00:00:50,859 --> 00:00:53,161 - Number one— - I'm going into labor. 23 00:00:56,048 --> 00:00:57,015 Here we go! 24 00:00:57,049 --> 00:00:58,633 Hey, guys, uh, 25 00:00:58,667 --> 00:01:00,334 can't keep saying you're going into labor. 26 00:01:00,352 --> 00:01:01,602 Everyone knows you're full of it. 27 00:01:01,637 --> 00:01:03,371 - Yeah. - It's not fair, you guys. 28 00:01:03,405 --> 00:01:04,889 - Pitiful. - It's stupid. 29 00:01:04,940 --> 00:01:06,024 Never cry wolf. 30 00:01:06,058 --> 00:01:07,608 - Okay. - Okay. 31 00:01:07,643 --> 00:01:09,143 Oh. 32 00:01:09,177 --> 00:01:10,645 Oh! Oh! 33 00:01:10,679 --> 00:01:11,846 Oh, my gosh! 34 00:01:11,864 --> 00:01:13,648 Oh, my God! Okay. 35 00:01:13,682 --> 00:01:16,234 I'm really in labor! This is happening. 36 00:01:16,285 --> 00:01:17,251 - Okay, guys. - Okay. 37 00:01:17,286 --> 00:01:18,369 Here we go. See you. 38 00:01:18,404 --> 00:01:20,354 - Oh! - How do you feel? 39 00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:21,873 - Drive carefully! - Good luck! 40 00:01:21,907 --> 00:01:23,157 - Bye! - Good-bye! Good luck! 41 00:01:27,730 --> 00:01:30,048 False alarm. 42 00:01:33,191 --> 00:01:38,751 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 43 00:01:50,919 --> 00:01:52,186 What? 44 00:01:52,220 --> 00:01:55,022 They took another client from us? 45 00:01:55,056 --> 00:01:57,859 Okay, bye. 46 00:01:57,893 --> 00:02:01,913 Man! Business is war! 47 00:02:01,947 --> 00:02:05,767 Customers, clients— It's like a war out there. 48 00:02:05,801 --> 00:02:08,035 I am a leader. 49 00:02:08,070 --> 00:02:12,073 But you can only inspire people so much in a place like this. 50 00:02:12,107 --> 00:02:16,110 So today I'm turning the inspire-factor up to ten, 51 00:02:16,145 --> 00:02:19,013 with a little help from my friend— 52 00:02:19,047 --> 00:02:21,449 America's bloodiest battle. 53 00:02:21,483 --> 00:02:24,685 Why even read business books? We should be studying war. 54 00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:27,555 Going to places like Gettysburg. Where is that? 55 00:02:27,589 --> 00:02:29,357 It's right here in PA. 56 00:02:31,226 --> 00:02:33,260 Well, we should take a fieldtrip there. 57 00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:35,646 I mean, that would be so cool. 58 00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:37,932 I wonder if that bus downstairs is— 59 00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:40,434 Okay, Andy, we get it. It's a trip to Gettysburg. 60 00:02:40,469 --> 00:02:42,453 That sounds super inspiring. I'm in! 61 00:02:42,488 --> 00:02:44,705 Gettysburg? Hmm. Could be interesting. 62 00:02:44,740 --> 00:02:46,941 Second-most northern battle in the Civil War. 63 00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:49,377 Actually it is the northernmost. 64 00:02:49,411 --> 00:02:51,295 Ha! 65 00:02:51,330 --> 00:02:54,916 The Civil War history industry has conveniently forgotten 66 00:02:54,950 --> 00:02:56,951 about the battle of Schrute Farms. 67 00:02:56,969 --> 00:02:59,086 Whatever. I'm over it. 68 00:02:59,121 --> 00:03:02,056 It's just grossly irresponsible. 69 00:03:02,090 --> 00:03:04,308 Charge! 70 00:03:04,343 --> 00:03:06,661 Well, this could be fun. I— 71 00:03:06,695 --> 00:03:08,462 Yeah, well, the bus has free wi-fi, 72 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:11,682 and I made special low-sugar lunches for everyone. 73 00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:14,969 And is anyone Kosher or Halal? 74 00:03:14,987 --> 00:03:16,170 What's the halal option? 75 00:03:16,205 --> 00:03:17,471 Dates, tabbouleh, 76 00:03:17,489 --> 00:03:19,740 - and a bagel with cream cheese. - Out. 77 00:03:19,775 --> 00:03:21,509 You know, it's the same as the Kosher option. 78 00:03:21,543 --> 00:03:23,578 There's a lesson in there. 79 00:03:23,612 --> 00:03:25,146 I mean, I can't force you to go. 80 00:03:25,180 --> 00:03:28,499 You're not my slaves. Thanks to Gettysburg. 81 00:03:28,534 --> 00:03:30,585 But... Who's coming with me? 82 00:03:30,619 --> 00:03:33,538 - I'm in. - I'm in too. 83 00:03:33,589 --> 00:03:37,225 Guess I'm a sucker for historical fiction. 84 00:03:37,259 --> 00:03:39,427 Anyone who's not going, you're dead to me. 85 00:03:39,461 --> 00:03:41,495 You're uninvited. I don't want you to come. 86 00:03:41,513 --> 00:03:43,664 But, FYI, there will be 87 00:03:43,682 --> 00:03:45,800 leftover turkey and pesto sammies in the fridge. 88 00:03:45,834 --> 00:03:47,051 Yes. 89 00:03:47,102 --> 00:03:49,220 - One for you. - Cool. Thanks. 90 00:03:49,271 --> 00:03:51,439 - And one for you. - Cool. Thanks. 91 00:03:51,473 --> 00:03:52,840 And— Oh. You missed your head. 92 00:03:52,858 --> 00:03:55,376 There you go. 93 00:03:55,410 --> 00:03:58,346 Phyllis, think fast. 94 00:03:58,380 --> 00:03:59,347 All right, guys, 95 00:03:59,381 --> 00:04:01,382 a little foreplay before we do it. 96 00:04:01,416 --> 00:04:03,183 Fans of Ken Burnjazz 97 00:04:03,202 --> 00:04:05,319 will most certainly enjoy Civil War. 98 00:04:05,354 --> 00:04:07,488 You know, I just got Limitless on my iPad. 99 00:04:07,522 --> 00:04:08,990 I bet I could get it on the tv. 100 00:04:09,024 --> 00:04:12,426 Ooh. Isn't the the one where the guy becomes Limitless? 101 00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:14,212 It's just not appropri— I mean, if we were going 102 00:04:14,246 --> 00:04:15,696 to visit Bradley Cooper's birthplace, 103 00:04:15,714 --> 00:04:16,831 I'd be the first one suggesting it. 104 00:04:16,865 --> 00:04:18,883 I'd be rooting for it. 105 00:04:18,917 --> 00:04:21,219 Limitless! Limitless! Limitless! Limitless! 106 00:04:21,253 --> 00:04:22,403 All right, all right, all right. 107 00:04:22,437 --> 00:04:24,355 Not food and stuff. 108 00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:25,506 Here. Like it? 109 00:04:25,540 --> 00:04:27,892 Oh, if you buy the picnic table, 110 00:04:27,926 --> 00:04:29,393 then you've got to get the fire pit. 111 00:04:29,428 --> 00:04:32,046 I can't get a fire pit. I have two babies. 112 00:04:32,064 --> 00:04:33,247 The fire pit is a no-brainer. 113 00:04:33,282 --> 00:04:35,449 - Oh, hi there. - Plants and— Hi, Robert. 114 00:04:35,484 --> 00:04:38,269 Hey, um, how are you doing? Good to see you again. 115 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:40,721 Where is everyone? Where is Andy? 116 00:04:40,739 --> 00:04:42,189 Andy took some of the other people 117 00:04:42,224 --> 00:04:43,557 on a corporate retreat to Gettysburg. 118 00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:49,430 Well, I was hoping to talk out some ideas with Andy. 119 00:04:49,464 --> 00:04:53,834 But what we have here... 120 00:04:53,869 --> 00:04:56,270 Is perhaps better. 121 00:04:56,305 --> 00:04:57,788 By not going on the trip, 122 00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:01,275 you've shown you're the free-thinkers of the office. 123 00:05:01,310 --> 00:05:04,262 Robert, you got your sheep and you got your black sheep, 124 00:05:04,296 --> 00:05:05,579 and I'm not even a sheep. 125 00:05:05,614 --> 00:05:07,214 I'm on the freaking moon. 126 00:05:08,951 --> 00:05:11,319 So, here's what we can do. 127 00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:14,322 Game changers— Changes to the game 128 00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:18,309 such that the game can never be played the same way again. 129 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:22,330 Everyone, brainstorm some innovations. 130 00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:25,983 Don't be afraid to get weird with it. 131 00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:28,369 Meredith! 132 00:05:29,504 --> 00:05:33,291 Excited. 133 00:05:33,325 --> 00:05:36,243 Okay. 134 00:05:45,387 --> 00:05:48,189 You guys. 135 00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:49,840 - J-j-j-ju... - Get excited. 136 00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:53,094 Shh! Movie's almost over. 137 00:05:53,128 --> 00:05:54,395 All right! 138 00:05:54,429 --> 00:05:57,515 We're here. Limitless can wait. 139 00:05:57,566 --> 00:06:01,102 Fun fact— In France, they call Limitless 140 00:06:01,136 --> 00:06:02,820 "The Man With Many Capabilities." 141 00:06:02,854 --> 00:06:04,972 Whoo-hoo! Ladies and gentlemen, 142 00:06:05,007 --> 00:06:08,159 the 1800s await you. 143 00:06:08,193 --> 00:06:10,995 We can watch Limitless on the way back. 144 00:06:11,029 --> 00:06:12,747 I got us Source Code on the way back. 145 00:06:12,781 --> 00:06:14,815 - Ooh. - All right. 146 00:06:14,850 --> 00:06:16,000 Whoo! 147 00:06:19,154 --> 00:06:21,054 Wait, where are you going? 148 00:06:21,072 --> 00:06:22,722 Gonna grab a map for the memorials, right? 149 00:06:22,740 --> 00:06:24,441 Yeah, we're not going to the visitor center. 150 00:06:24,492 --> 00:06:25,526 We're not tourists. 151 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:27,111 No, of course we're not tourists. 152 00:06:27,162 --> 00:06:29,413 We're just people that aren't from here who are taking a tour. 153 00:06:29,447 --> 00:06:31,865 Yeah, sign says "begin tour here." 154 00:06:31,900 --> 00:06:35,302 Unless you're going on the very specially-created 155 00:06:35,336 --> 00:06:38,138 and meticulously-researched Andy Bernard Tour. 156 00:06:38,173 --> 00:06:40,407 After Chancellorsville, 157 00:06:40,425 --> 00:06:43,443 Lee brought his army up the Shenandoah Valley 158 00:06:43,478 --> 00:06:45,012 right through here! 159 00:06:45,046 --> 00:06:47,815 They stopped in this field for a picnic, 160 00:06:47,849 --> 00:06:49,283 which they called lunch. 161 00:06:49,317 --> 00:06:51,084 Yeah, but I'm confused. 162 00:06:51,102 --> 00:06:52,586 Total deaths belongs to Gettysburg, 163 00:06:52,604 --> 00:06:54,087 but when you're talking about DPA, 164 00:06:54,105 --> 00:06:55,639 - that's deaths per acre... - Mm-hmm. 165 00:06:55,690 --> 00:06:57,391 Nothing beats the battle of Schrute Farms. 166 00:06:57,425 --> 00:06:59,993 Oh. DPA sounds way more important than total deaths. 167 00:07:00,028 --> 00:07:01,929 Oh, it is. And you should read some of these letters 168 00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:03,063 that the soldiers wrote home. 169 00:07:03,097 --> 00:07:04,815 I mean, it makes the battle of Gettysburg 170 00:07:04,866 --> 00:07:06,116 sound like a bunch of schoolgirls 171 00:07:06,151 --> 00:07:08,735 wrestling over a hairbrush. 172 00:07:08,769 --> 00:07:10,821 I'm telling you, they're heartbreaking too. 173 00:07:10,872 --> 00:07:13,006 So beautifully written. 174 00:07:13,041 --> 00:07:15,442 Dwight, what are you telling this girl? 175 00:07:15,460 --> 00:07:16,577 The truth. 176 00:07:16,611 --> 00:07:18,178 Stop filling her head with nonsense, okay? 177 00:07:18,213 --> 00:07:19,346 She doesn't know any better. 178 00:07:19,380 --> 00:07:21,582 Oscar, I am so glad you just got here. 179 00:07:21,616 --> 00:07:23,167 I would've believed everything he said. 180 00:07:23,218 --> 00:07:25,352 No, no, no! You're filling her head with nonsense. 181 00:07:25,386 --> 00:07:27,721 You and the history books. I'm telling the truth. 182 00:07:27,755 --> 00:07:30,174 - Interesting. - Yes, thank you. 183 00:07:30,225 --> 00:07:32,726 All of history has been whitewashed. 184 00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:35,012 Really? Why don't you tell us the real history, Gore Vidal. 185 00:07:35,063 --> 00:07:37,130 Okay, I will. I don't know who that is, 186 00:07:37,148 --> 00:07:38,465 but I'm gonna to tell you this— 187 00:07:38,483 --> 00:07:41,185 - He's a historian. - Gettysburg was very important. 188 00:07:41,236 --> 00:07:42,636 Credit where credit is due, okay? 189 00:07:42,654 --> 00:07:46,273 Big mad props to Gettysburg. Was it, however, 190 00:07:46,307 --> 00:07:48,775 the most northern battle of the Civil War? 191 00:07:48,809 --> 00:07:50,344 - Not by a long shot! - Yes, yes, yes! 192 00:07:50,378 --> 00:07:51,528 - No! - No! 193 00:07:51,579 --> 00:07:53,146 - No, it was not! - Oh! 194 00:07:53,164 --> 00:07:56,833 No, it was not! Was it the second-most northern? 195 00:07:56,868 --> 00:07:58,151 - What? - Sure! 196 00:07:58,186 --> 00:08:01,705 I will cede it was the second-most northernmost battle! 197 00:08:01,756 --> 00:08:03,123 Was it the northernmost? No. 198 00:08:03,157 --> 00:08:04,691 - Get out of here, Oscar. - Get out of here! 199 00:08:04,726 --> 00:08:09,062 I am so eager to hear your game-changers. 200 00:08:09,097 --> 00:08:10,497 Let's dig in, shall we? 201 00:08:10,515 --> 00:08:13,217 - May I go first? - Absolutely. 202 00:08:15,270 --> 00:08:18,538 Raw fish— The disgusting food from Japan 203 00:08:18,573 --> 00:08:20,240 that Americans would never want to eat. 204 00:08:20,275 --> 00:08:22,342 Now we can't get enough of it. 205 00:08:22,377 --> 00:08:24,978 From movie stars to construction workers, 206 00:08:25,013 --> 00:08:27,147 Sushi is what's for dinner. 207 00:08:27,181 --> 00:08:30,200 Let me throw another idea at you. 208 00:08:30,235 --> 00:08:32,219 Origami. 209 00:08:32,253 --> 00:08:33,787 What? 210 00:08:33,821 --> 00:08:37,858 The crazy art of paper folding from, that's right, Japan. 211 00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:40,060 Don't you wish you could go back to 1980 212 00:08:40,094 --> 00:08:43,230 and open the first Sushi restaurant in Manhattan? 213 00:08:43,264 --> 00:08:47,000 We can do that! With... 214 00:08:47,035 --> 00:08:48,435 Origami. 215 00:08:48,469 --> 00:08:50,938 It's the Sushi of paper. 216 00:08:50,972 --> 00:08:53,907 This idea hasn't gripped me. 217 00:08:53,942 --> 00:08:55,375 What else did you come up with? 218 00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:57,344 Well, I had to memorize the presentation, Robert, 219 00:08:57,378 --> 00:08:59,279 and it took a long time to build the swan, so— 220 00:08:59,314 --> 00:09:02,282 That was bad. 221 00:09:02,317 --> 00:09:04,551 If your woman is like mine, 222 00:09:04,585 --> 00:09:07,054 I bet you come home to hear the same thing all the time. 223 00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:09,856 "This paper is so hard. It scratches. 224 00:09:09,891 --> 00:09:13,059 Why can't there be a paper just for me?" 225 00:09:13,077 --> 00:09:14,861 Well, now there is. 226 00:09:14,896 --> 00:09:17,998 "Papyr." Paper for women. 227 00:09:18,032 --> 00:09:21,935 It's pink, scented, and silky soft. 228 00:09:21,970 --> 00:09:23,937 Now you can watch the game 229 00:09:23,972 --> 00:09:26,640 and she can write a letter to her sister. 230 00:09:26,674 --> 00:09:30,377 The situation you described, returning home to a wife 231 00:09:30,411 --> 00:09:32,212 complaining about her paper being too masculine, 232 00:09:32,246 --> 00:09:33,747 is not one I'm familiar with. 233 00:09:33,781 --> 00:09:35,882 In the African-American community— 234 00:09:35,917 --> 00:09:37,284 No. 235 00:09:37,318 --> 00:09:40,420 Thought it was worth a try. 236 00:09:40,438 --> 00:09:42,055 That's fascinating. 237 00:09:42,089 --> 00:09:45,275 Tell me, what's the significance of the Peach Orchard, though? 238 00:09:45,310 --> 00:09:46,643 Oh, well, that's a great question. 239 00:09:46,694 --> 00:09:47,894 Actually, some of the most... 240 00:09:47,929 --> 00:09:49,262 Excuse me, I had a question for you. 241 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:50,614 - Sure. - Can you tell us 242 00:09:50,648 --> 00:09:52,065 about the battle of Schrute Farms? 243 00:09:52,100 --> 00:09:53,967 Uh, I haven't heard of that one. 244 00:09:54,002 --> 00:09:55,969 Really. Okay, follow-up question. 245 00:09:56,004 --> 00:09:58,839 How much are they paying you to keep your mouth shut? 246 00:09:58,873 --> 00:10:00,874 I apologize for my friend, 247 00:10:00,908 --> 00:10:03,493 and for the Republicans who are cutting your funding. 248 00:10:03,544 --> 00:10:05,245 We don't need to bother this poor gentleman. 249 00:10:05,279 --> 00:10:08,015 I know exactly where we're going. Giddyap! 250 00:10:09,217 --> 00:10:11,084 Tallyho! 251 00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:14,338 Are you Lincoln? 252 00:10:14,389 --> 00:10:16,139 No, no, I'm— 253 00:10:16,174 --> 00:10:19,793 Apparently, I bear a passing resemblance to Abraham Lincoln. 254 00:10:19,827 --> 00:10:22,662 Makes it kind of hard for me to go to places like museums, 255 00:10:22,697 --> 00:10:25,065 historical monuments, elementary schools. 256 00:10:25,099 --> 00:10:26,600 I don't see it. 257 00:10:26,634 --> 00:10:28,035 Chelsea, give Mr. Lincoln your hat 258 00:10:28,069 --> 00:10:32,189 - so I can take a picture. - Okay. Quick. 259 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:35,325 Hey! Lincoln's starting. 260 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:38,011 Oh, uh, no. No, no, no, no. 261 00:10:38,046 --> 00:10:40,113 I'm actually with a tour group myself, so— 262 00:10:43,251 --> 00:10:46,169 Hello, I'm Abraham Lincoln. 263 00:10:46,204 --> 00:10:49,022 Some people call me the Great Emancipator, 264 00:10:49,057 --> 00:10:51,375 but, uh, you might know me from the penny. 265 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:55,662 Okay. You know the test booklets 266 00:10:55,696 --> 00:10:57,931 that they give out in all the schools. 267 00:10:57,965 --> 00:11:00,634 I was thinking that we could put a coupon in the back 268 00:11:00,668 --> 00:11:02,035 that people would mail in to us, 269 00:11:02,070 --> 00:11:04,671 and as— You know, 270 00:11:04,705 --> 00:11:07,274 as I tell it, I don't like it. 271 00:11:07,308 --> 00:11:09,209 Unless, of course, you are responding to it. 272 00:11:09,243 --> 00:11:11,728 - I am not. - Um, excuse me. 273 00:11:11,779 --> 00:11:12,979 I'm gonna go to the bathroom. 274 00:11:13,013 --> 00:11:15,348 At this point, when you're this pregnant, 275 00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:17,551 it's kind of like senior spring. 276 00:11:17,585 --> 00:11:21,054 The other day I spit my gum out on the carpet. 277 00:11:21,089 --> 00:11:23,256 Kevin, you've been quiet. 278 00:11:23,291 --> 00:11:26,560 I'm curious to know what your game-changer is. 279 00:11:26,594 --> 00:11:28,745 Well, you know how in the vending machine 280 00:11:28,796 --> 00:11:32,732 they have the chocolate chip cookies in the A1 spot? 281 00:11:32,767 --> 00:11:35,035 They do that 'cause they think 282 00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:37,871 a-1's the best spot for the best cookie. 283 00:11:37,905 --> 00:11:40,340 But the real best spot is D4. 284 00:11:40,374 --> 00:11:43,226 Right? That's where the eyes go. 285 00:11:43,261 --> 00:11:45,378 So... 286 00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:47,981 Cookies. 287 00:11:48,015 --> 00:11:50,016 Cookie placement. 288 00:11:50,050 --> 00:11:53,887 Yeah. But not just the cookies, though. 289 00:11:53,921 --> 00:11:55,222 That was just a "for instance." 290 00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:57,991 Who else agrees with Kevin, 291 00:11:58,025 --> 00:12:00,744 that we're wasting facilities, manpower, 292 00:12:00,778 --> 00:12:02,562 on our underselling products, 293 00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:06,082 when we should be pushing our top-performers? 294 00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:16,843 There you go. Consensus. 295 00:12:16,878 --> 00:12:18,445 Okay, we are now on a planet 296 00:12:18,479 --> 00:12:21,281 where Kevin is the most creative person around, 297 00:12:21,315 --> 00:12:25,886 and I am just some good-looking guy. 298 00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:27,687 I just don't understand. 299 00:12:27,722 --> 00:12:31,090 It's 1865, victory is ours, 300 00:12:31,108 --> 00:12:34,494 I've saved the very soul of our nation, and yet... 301 00:12:34,529 --> 00:12:37,147 Happiness eludes me. 302 00:12:39,484 --> 00:12:43,270 Oh, perhaps a trip to the theater will enliven my spirits. 303 00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:44,788 No! 304 00:12:44,822 --> 00:12:48,041 'Kay, so another thing about oatmeal cookies— 305 00:12:48,075 --> 00:12:49,409 Who even wants them? 306 00:12:49,443 --> 00:12:52,946 I mean, I've seen Toby eat one, like, once, 307 00:12:52,980 --> 00:12:54,714 but other than that... 308 00:12:54,749 --> 00:12:56,983 Like, forget it. 309 00:12:57,018 --> 00:13:00,220 Interesting. 310 00:13:00,254 --> 00:13:04,808 So what is Dunder Mifflin's oatmeal cookie? 311 00:13:04,842 --> 00:13:08,311 What is the product that no one wants? 312 00:13:08,346 --> 00:13:10,697 How about that two-hole-punch letter? 313 00:13:10,731 --> 00:13:14,367 Only the lawyers want that punch at the top, 314 00:13:14,402 --> 00:13:17,237 and they use legal. 315 00:13:17,271 --> 00:13:18,972 That's the oatmeal cookie. 316 00:13:19,006 --> 00:13:21,992 Fantastic, Kevin. Fantastic. 317 00:13:22,026 --> 00:13:23,860 Thank you. 318 00:13:23,911 --> 00:13:26,329 By the way, did we leave all the food on the bus? 319 00:13:26,364 --> 00:13:28,148 Let's talk about food for a second. 320 00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:30,116 Food for thought. 321 00:13:30,151 --> 00:13:31,668 Yeah, that's what I had for breakfast, 322 00:13:31,702 --> 00:13:33,553 and I think that's probably why I'm still hungry. 323 00:13:33,588 --> 00:13:36,873 Hunger! Hunger for victory. 324 00:13:36,924 --> 00:13:39,492 Hunger for honor. Hunger for pride. 325 00:13:39,510 --> 00:13:40,627 Hunger for hamburger. 326 00:13:40,661 --> 00:13:42,495 Hunger for chicken chimichangas. 327 00:13:42,530 --> 00:13:43,697 - Right, Darryl? - That's good. 328 00:13:43,731 --> 00:13:45,849 Exactly. Now do you know 329 00:13:45,883 --> 00:13:49,536 what the Civil War soldiers were hungry for? Pride! 330 00:13:49,570 --> 00:13:51,605 Now each battalion had it's own flag, 331 00:13:51,639 --> 00:13:53,390 and they guarded these flags with their lives. 332 00:13:53,441 --> 00:13:57,561 Colonel Harrison Jeffords of the Fourth Michigan Infantry 333 00:13:57,612 --> 00:14:00,113 saw his flag being carried away. 334 00:14:00,147 --> 00:14:02,365 Chased it down with nothing but a sword. 335 00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:05,502 Fought tooth and nail at the foot of that flag 336 00:14:05,536 --> 00:14:07,921 until he died. 337 00:14:07,955 --> 00:14:09,822 He wasn't about to let them have that flag. 338 00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:11,191 Pride. 339 00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:13,360 Right, guys? 340 00:14:15,296 --> 00:14:18,331 I commissioned this flag for Dunder Mifflin. 341 00:14:18,349 --> 00:14:21,217 - Cost me $200. - Only $200? 342 00:14:21,269 --> 00:14:23,670 We are all branches on this tree. 343 00:14:23,704 --> 00:14:25,855 And from the tree comes paper. 344 00:14:25,890 --> 00:14:28,742 We're all part of a business. 345 00:14:28,776 --> 00:14:30,677 But business is war. 346 00:14:30,695 --> 00:14:32,562 What's that I hear? 347 00:14:32,613 --> 00:14:35,315 Uh, a rebel paper company 348 00:14:35,349 --> 00:14:37,450 is coming to take our flag! 349 00:14:37,485 --> 00:14:38,685 Wha— What's going on here? 350 00:14:38,703 --> 00:14:39,852 Whoo-hoo! 351 00:14:39,870 --> 00:14:41,738 Come and get it! Who's gonna get the flag? 352 00:14:41,789 --> 00:14:43,857 Who's getting it? Whoa! Hey! Ho! 353 00:14:43,891 --> 00:14:45,041 Don't look where I am, look where I'm going. 354 00:14:45,076 --> 00:14:46,192 Juke right, juke left. 355 00:14:46,210 --> 00:14:48,094 Andy, this in inappropriate. 356 00:14:48,129 --> 00:14:49,412 People died here, man. 357 00:14:49,463 --> 00:14:50,697 Get the flag! Get the flag! 358 00:14:50,715 --> 00:14:51,881 Come on, big tuna. 359 00:14:51,916 --> 00:14:53,466 What you gonna do about it? 360 00:14:53,501 --> 00:14:54,968 We got a flag right here. Whoo-hoo! 361 00:14:57,010 --> 00:14:59,810 Spangler's Spring is a mile this way. 362 00:15:00,013 --> 00:15:01,346 Oh, wow. 363 00:15:01,381 --> 00:15:03,081 So that's two miles 364 00:15:03,116 --> 00:15:06,818 if you incorporate the walk back. 365 00:15:06,836 --> 00:15:10,055 It's— I mean, come on. 366 00:15:10,089 --> 00:15:11,657 Ooh, I don't think I should walk anymore. 367 00:15:11,691 --> 00:15:13,658 You know, all I had for breakfast 368 00:15:13,676 --> 00:15:15,761 was oatmeal, yoghurt, um, 369 00:15:15,795 --> 00:15:18,030 coffee, orange juice, and toast. 370 00:15:18,064 --> 00:15:19,598 Two poached eggs, 371 00:15:19,632 --> 00:15:21,600 and then that half a sandwich on the bus. 372 00:15:21,634 --> 00:15:23,001 I— 373 00:15:23,036 --> 00:15:24,303 All right, fine. You know what? 374 00:15:24,337 --> 00:15:26,138 I guess this place just hasn't rubbed off on you 375 00:15:26,172 --> 00:15:27,439 the way that I hoped it would. 376 00:15:28,641 --> 00:15:30,709 I'm still going. 377 00:15:30,743 --> 00:15:34,379 And I'm not going to ask anymore. 378 00:15:34,414 --> 00:15:36,181 I'm not even gonna look back. 379 00:15:36,199 --> 00:15:39,117 I'm just gonna assume that you're with me. 380 00:15:46,759 --> 00:15:49,294 Said you weren't gonna look back. 381 00:15:51,764 --> 00:15:54,633 And why is Blackrock suddenly the paragon 382 00:15:54,667 --> 00:15:58,536 by which all hedge funds must now be compared? 383 00:15:58,554 --> 00:16:00,889 I don't know. 384 00:16:00,924 --> 00:16:03,708 Right? I mean, you're an accountant. 385 00:16:03,726 --> 00:16:06,728 Those bogus prospectuses must drive you insane. 386 00:16:06,763 --> 00:16:11,416 Yes. I am an accountant. 387 00:16:11,451 --> 00:16:15,220 Dwight, this is one of the archivists here. 388 00:16:15,238 --> 00:16:16,822 I thought maybe we can consult him. 389 00:16:16,856 --> 00:16:17,823 - Really? - Yeah. 390 00:16:17,857 --> 00:16:20,058 Well, anyone employed 391 00:16:20,093 --> 00:16:21,693 by the Gettysburg industrial complex 392 00:16:21,728 --> 00:16:23,161 is certainly gonna want to keep quiet 393 00:16:23,196 --> 00:16:25,030 about the battle of Schrute Farms. 394 00:16:25,064 --> 00:16:27,299 Schrute Farms, did you say? 395 00:16:27,333 --> 00:16:30,619 That is a fascinating little chapter of the Civil War. 396 00:16:30,670 --> 00:16:31,937 You've heard about it? 397 00:16:31,971 --> 00:16:33,505 Yes! Ha! 398 00:16:33,539 --> 00:16:36,574 Prepare to be refuted. Go on. Come on. 399 00:16:36,592 --> 00:16:39,845 There you go. 400 00:16:39,879 --> 00:16:41,613 Families and sweethearts back home 401 00:16:41,648 --> 00:16:44,766 waited desperately for letters from the front. 402 00:16:44,801 --> 00:16:46,818 "Dearest mother, 403 00:16:46,853 --> 00:16:48,720 "I'm sorry it has been so long since my last letter. 404 00:16:48,755 --> 00:16:51,590 "It is three months since I arrived at Schrute Farms, 405 00:16:51,624 --> 00:16:54,059 and I fear I may never leave this place alive." 406 00:16:54,093 --> 00:16:56,795 Melvyn Fifer Garris. 407 00:16:56,829 --> 00:16:58,814 Hallowed ground. 408 00:16:58,865 --> 00:17:00,432 But the battle at Schrute Farms 409 00:17:00,466 --> 00:17:02,117 was no battle at all. 410 00:17:02,151 --> 00:17:05,604 It was a code used by pacifists from both north and South 411 00:17:05,638 --> 00:17:07,072 who turned the Pennsylvania farmhouse 412 00:17:07,106 --> 00:17:10,659 into an artistic community and a refuge from the war. 413 00:17:10,710 --> 00:17:12,077 You have to understand, 414 00:17:12,111 --> 00:17:14,880 poets, artists, dancers, 415 00:17:14,914 --> 00:17:17,082 these kinds of men preferred peace to war. 416 00:17:17,116 --> 00:17:21,153 These delicate, lovely men found a place of refuge 417 00:17:21,187 --> 00:17:23,055 among the Schrutes at Schrute Farm. 418 00:17:23,089 --> 00:17:25,290 Amidst the macho brutality of war, 419 00:17:25,324 --> 00:17:28,510 this was a place where dandies and dreamers 420 00:17:28,561 --> 00:17:31,830 could put on plays, sing tender ballads, 421 00:17:31,864 --> 00:17:33,298 and dance in the moonlight. 422 00:17:33,316 --> 00:17:37,152 I like to think of Schrute Farm as, uh, the underground railroad 423 00:17:37,186 --> 00:17:41,573 for the sensitive and, well, fabulous. 424 00:17:41,607 --> 00:17:44,609 Wow. This is so much better than the story you made up. 425 00:17:44,643 --> 00:17:47,579 - I've seen enough. - You're right. 426 00:17:47,613 --> 00:17:49,314 There should be a monument to this. 427 00:17:49,332 --> 00:17:53,668 Never trust a cookie with a woman's name. 428 00:17:53,703 --> 00:17:55,537 Pecan Sandie. 429 00:17:55,588 --> 00:17:56,688 Lorna Doone. 430 00:17:56,723 --> 00:17:58,173 Madeleine. 431 00:17:58,207 --> 00:18:01,343 Oh, they'll just break your heart. 432 00:18:04,397 --> 00:18:06,381 Kevin, you are— 433 00:18:06,432 --> 00:18:08,066 Robert, I hate to interrupt, 434 00:18:08,101 --> 00:18:10,102 but I would love to pitch you one last idea. 435 00:18:10,136 --> 00:18:12,404 I call it the Big Mac Idea. 436 00:18:12,438 --> 00:18:13,872 What? No. 437 00:18:13,906 --> 00:18:15,891 Big Mac Idea. It sounds encouraging. 438 00:18:15,942 --> 00:18:17,442 It's really, really good, Robert. 439 00:18:17,477 --> 00:18:18,477 Let me explain it. 440 00:18:18,511 --> 00:18:20,612 No, this is not fair. This is my idea. 441 00:18:20,646 --> 00:18:23,548 He's trying to steal it because he's jealous of me. 442 00:18:23,583 --> 00:18:26,184 Well, what is the idea? 443 00:18:26,219 --> 00:18:28,453 Every time you buy a Big Mac, 444 00:18:28,488 --> 00:18:31,356 yet set one ingredient aside. 445 00:18:31,390 --> 00:18:33,625 Then, at the end of the week, 446 00:18:33,659 --> 00:18:35,761 you have a free Big Mac. 447 00:18:35,795 --> 00:18:37,695 And you love it even more, 448 00:18:37,713 --> 00:18:40,198 because you made it with your own hands. 449 00:18:40,216 --> 00:18:42,200 You know what? 450 00:18:42,235 --> 00:18:44,386 Now I remember. That was your idea. 451 00:18:44,420 --> 00:18:47,556 That is 100% your idea. 452 00:18:47,590 --> 00:18:51,943 Oh-ho, my. 453 00:18:53,246 --> 00:18:56,598 It was just actually cookies the whole time. 454 00:18:58,701 --> 00:18:59,918 Damn it. 455 00:18:59,952 --> 00:19:02,687 Hey. 456 00:19:02,722 --> 00:19:04,239 You guys came. 457 00:19:04,273 --> 00:19:05,907 Where's everyone else? 458 00:19:05,942 --> 00:19:08,059 Back at the bus. We were locked out. 459 00:19:08,094 --> 00:19:10,796 Phyllis is sitting on the ground, eating a dirty sandwich. 460 00:19:10,830 --> 00:19:13,165 Yeah, I asked the bus driver to lock it, 461 00:19:13,199 --> 00:19:14,366 'cause our stuff was in there. 462 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:15,600 I guess he follows orders. 463 00:19:15,635 --> 00:19:17,119 Yeah, sorry everybody else didn't come. 464 00:19:17,170 --> 00:19:18,537 I think they're just tired. 465 00:19:18,571 --> 00:19:21,590 With holes in their shoes, and they have dysentery. 466 00:19:21,624 --> 00:19:24,009 Even without an audience you're still at it. 467 00:19:24,043 --> 00:19:25,610 What are you talking about? 468 00:19:25,645 --> 00:19:27,412 Our office has a disease, 469 00:19:27,430 --> 00:19:29,714 and it goes by many names— 470 00:19:29,748 --> 00:19:34,469 Sarcasm, snark, wisecracks. 471 00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:36,138 You take things that people care about, 472 00:19:36,189 --> 00:19:39,774 and you make them feel lame about it with your jokes. 473 00:19:39,809 --> 00:19:41,776 That's what you did with this trip. 474 00:19:41,811 --> 00:19:44,596 Andy, this whole idea 475 00:19:44,630 --> 00:19:46,498 of our situation being just like war, 476 00:19:46,532 --> 00:19:47,999 it's just not true. 477 00:19:48,034 --> 00:19:50,485 We just work at a paper company, 478 00:19:50,536 --> 00:19:52,637 and you're our regional manager. And guess what, man? 479 00:19:52,672 --> 00:19:54,906 You don't have to prove anything. 480 00:19:54,941 --> 00:19:57,209 We like you as regional manager. 481 00:19:57,243 --> 00:19:59,010 Andy, if you don't believe me, 482 00:19:59,045 --> 00:20:01,213 take a look at what's on my head. 483 00:20:01,247 --> 00:20:03,165 I'm wearing a very pink hat. 484 00:20:03,216 --> 00:20:05,083 I've been getting weird looks all day 485 00:20:05,117 --> 00:20:07,219 because I'm pretty sure "DM does GB" 486 00:20:07,253 --> 00:20:08,837 means something kind of sexual. 487 00:20:08,888 --> 00:20:10,305 But guess who's wearing them? 488 00:20:10,339 --> 00:20:11,556 All of us. 489 00:20:11,591 --> 00:20:13,058 Just for you, man. 490 00:20:13,092 --> 00:20:15,060 That's huge. 491 00:20:15,094 --> 00:20:17,529 You don't like the hats? 492 00:20:17,563 --> 00:20:19,731 - They're terrible. - I hate myself. 493 00:20:19,765 --> 00:20:21,683 They just didn't turn out how I wanted. 494 00:20:21,734 --> 00:20:23,318 In my head, they were cooler, 495 00:20:23,352 --> 00:20:24,703 but they do look weird. 496 00:20:24,737 --> 00:20:28,523 The world will little note nor long remember 497 00:20:28,574 --> 00:20:31,643 the fight that Jim and I had here at Gettysburg. 498 00:20:31,661 --> 00:20:34,813 And that's good, because I was basically wrong. 499 00:20:34,847 --> 00:20:37,365 I wanted my team to be, like, this army, 500 00:20:37,416 --> 00:20:38,533 and I was their general, 501 00:20:38,584 --> 00:20:40,752 but I guess it's really just more like 502 00:20:40,786 --> 00:20:42,204 they're people who work in an office, 503 00:20:42,255 --> 00:20:45,023 and I'm their manager. 504 00:20:45,057 --> 00:20:47,225 Yeah, that's really probably a better analogy, 505 00:20:47,260 --> 00:20:49,060 now that I think about it. 506 00:20:51,719 --> 00:20:53,377 Abe and Mary are seated, watching the show. 507 00:20:56,091 --> 00:20:58,597 Oh, Mary, this is wonderful! 508 00:21:00,267 --> 00:21:02,484 Okay, Mary. Stop your scolding. 509 00:21:02,574 --> 00:21:03,708 I'll be quiet. 510 00:21:04,740 --> 00:21:07,711 I need her like I need a hole in the head. 511 00:21:12,022 --> 00:21:13,782 Mm. Oh... 512 00:21:14,867 --> 00:21:16,166 Bang! 513 00:21:27,010 --> 00:21:30,510 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com