Oops. A little help
Wow, your hair is really thinning
Standing is proven to be healthier, increases productivity
and just looks cooler
Picture someone doing something heroic
Now, was he sitting or standing?
Not counting FDR
Every second you sit there is an hour off your life
Look at all of you
I feel like you're in a suicide cult
No, no, no. You're way off on that one.
Are you really comfortable standing there?
I tried one of those, and I just couldn't find the sweet spot
Hey, guys, let's just all admit it, okay? Dwight's better than us
He had the guts to stop sitting,
and he's never, ever gonna go back on it, right?
That's right, Jim
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Hey, man Hey
Taking a load off, huh?
No. Putting a load on, more like
Good luck with that
Last thing I need is luck
Thank you so much
What are you up to? Oh, look out
Just... What are you doing?
Think fast. Ha ha
Give that back Come on. Prank
That's real creative
You know what you're right It's not my best
'Cause you could easily just bend over
and pick that up right?
I could. I just don't feel like it, loser
Because you're sitting? Standing
Okay. Don't
Because you're sitting? Standing
You know I have to do this
I know
Whoa
Andrew Baines Bernard
I think you could just do Andy Bernard
Andrew Baines Bernard I love filling
these out 'cause it's like Oh, I'm taking a test
but I know the answers
In four seconds, my wife is going to be coming through that door
I told her she could work here
Under no circumstances can that be allowed to happen
There you are, honey
How on earth did you miss the elevator?
What was that?
I don't know. He wasn't talking to me
But if I were you, I wouldn't hire his wife
That's why my foundation
the Dream For A Wish Foundation
is gonna put them out of business.
They're not gonna know what hit them
Everyone, I'd like to introduce my wife
Mrs. Robert California
Mrs. California this is everyone
Hello. Hi
Welcome. Call me Susan, please
Last night at dinner, Susan and I were talking
about her returning to work.
So she's here today to see if there's a good fit
Something tells me it just might work out
This is Andy Bernard, the regional manager
Hello. Nice to meet you
Hey there. It's a pleasure. Welcome
Thank you
Andy, would you be so kind
as to show Susan around the office,
introduce her to various departments
find a place where she'll shine?
I would love to, but I have to be
completely honest with you guys.
We're 100% staffed up
Andy, let's see if there's a good fit first then we'll talk
All right.
Knock, knock, knock Knock, knock, knock
You don't have to say it if you're doing it
Remember how you said
that you were looking for a place in the office
to do calisthenics and aerobics?
Ah, weightlifting, yeah
Well, today's your lucky day
I have opened in this very office building
Dwight Schrute's Gym for Muscles
Want to take a look? I'll take a look
Your path from obesity begins right here
I've been meaning to join a gym For my health.
I used to say I wanted to live long enough to see a black president.
I didn't realize how easy that would be.
So now I want to live long enough
to see a really, really gay president
or a supermodel president.
all the different kinds of presidents
Obese people in my office building are a drain on resources
Chairs wear out faster
It takes more freon to keep them cool
They flush the toilets more often
Plus, their massive BMs bust the rivets on my pipes
But a gym turns fat into cash.
All right, the DM Express is pulling out
All right, well it was really nice to meet you, Brian
Ah, it's actually Ryan
Oh, Ryan. Yeah
Bitch
We will start here at Erinville
Hi
Reception
Your classic one-man operation
Although, I was watching a movie
and Meryl Streep had two secretaries
I was watching a movie and a bunch of apes took over San Francisco
Just saying
Two secretaries could convey a sense of importance
and success to our clients
Certainly worth exploring. Wouldn't you agree, Andy?
I'll explore exploring it - Good
Seems like you have this under control,
so I'll just duck out and run the company for a while.
Okay
Okay, next stop on the tour, sales
Here we go Station stop Jim Halpert.
Oh, boy, our resident truth teller Uh
All right, have at it Let her rip.
What do you hate about this place?
Well, it's sales, so you have to be able
to live in the world of rejection
Maybe you do
Hi, I'm Dwight
Sales is really not so hard, okay It's paper
We have it, and they want it so bad
they are willing to pay for it
Jim?
Well, it's not that easy
It's kind of sometimes difficult
It's the second-easiest job in the world
Being a mom I love shopping.
And sales is just the other side of that
That's true
You know, if you joined our sales department
you would be working very closely with our
department head, Mr. Dwight Schrute
That's me
Dwight, why don't you tell Susan about some of your hobbies
Oh Mmm-hmm Survival skills.
Ranking of animals
Maybe over a beer
after she's closed her first sale.
Well, make that a red wine and I'll tell you my animal rankings
How am I supposed to pull this off?
The entire office is being nicer to her than they've ever been to me.
What I wouldn't give for one of Phyllis'
classic room-clearing farts right now.
Ready?
What do you think? Huh?
Umm, no
No. This is not a gym
This is like a scene out of Saw V.
You haven't even looked around yet
Look
Gravel bucket squat yoke
Right?
Hmm
Dedicated phone book ripping station
You ever cut tin before? No
Five yards in and your forearms will be on fire
Plus, I will buy the tin back from you
that you cut for two cents a yard
Now, let's go over membership
I'm gonna need the first month's
and the last month's up front for $49 a month
But every third month is $59 a month
But the fourth month is a discount month at $19 per month.
Obviously, you know how a gym works.
So you know I'm not gonna pay money for this
You want people to come to your gym?
Make a real gym
Darryl
Make a real gym
accounting might be a good fit
because I really clicked with Oscar
and I do have some experience with bookkeeping
But we already have a surplus of accountants as it is
customer service um, HR, even.
Those are fully staffed as well
Are you telling me that there's no one in this entire office
that could use an extra pair of hands?
Yes
I am the CEO, and I am telling an employee of mine what to do.
Let me beat around the bush for a second
Our chairman of the board has some very strong feelings
Robert, it's all right. This is very uncomfortable
Obviously, there's no place for me here, so thank you for trying
Why don't we just let it go?
No. Absolutely not
Andrew, there must be something you can do.
There must be. Think
Well, there are a lot of considerations
It's not a bad thing to have the CEO owe you one
All right Well, then, welcome aboard
So what happens next?
We get you over to HR and then get you set up with accounting.
Hang on
Hello? - Say "hello, grandma."
Hi, gam-gam
Hold one finger up to Susan. You'll just be a second.
You numbskull!
You were given a very simple task.
more clear with you.
Now say, "Are you taking your medicine?"
Are you taking your med-meds?
Why can you not say exactly what I tell you?
Undo this. Undo it.
You didn't say good-bye to your grandmother.
We promised we'd never say good-bye
Attention! I am now accepting memberships
for the Dwight Schrute Gym for Muscles
First 20 members can take advantage
of our "pay what you weigh" promotion
All I need is another gym.
As if I don't have enough drama
We have a gym at home It's called the bedroom.
Who's spotting who?
"Don't use the bike in the corner,
"that's Bruce's. Jeremy says...'
Enough. Oscar, enough
Kelly? I have these sneakers
which are basically just like a gym for your feet, so...
That's okay. I know how to build a business
You gotta bet the black people to do it
to get the white people to do it.
Then you gotta get the black people to stop doing it.
One step at a time
Did you bring your passport with you?
Who walks around with their passport?
Well, I do
Always ready for adventure
Have you had any?
No
Hey, guys
So Robert doesn't want his wife working here.
So now that she is, we have to drive her away
Andy, if he didn't want her working here, then why did you hire her?
Oscar, it was a mistake
But one that can be fixed by all of us being mean to her.
How can we do that? She's simply wonderful
This is all pathetic
How mean are we talking about?
It would be great if she were gone by lunch
Erin, you're up. Find her a place to work but not too comfortable
Got it. I know exactly which stapler to give her.
Here you go
Um, do you think it would be possible
to move to that desk over there?
Because this seems a bit cramped, and I don't have a computer
Well, that's a sales desk
Yeah. You need to be over here with us accountants
Just sit here and be quiet
And if you have a question just raise your hand
But I'm gonna save you some time, sweetie, and give you the answer now
No, I don't think we should be trying
to make this place seem unpleasant.
I think we should let this place
just crush her spirit by itself
what it's doing
That's Gerald
Oh, wow. So cute
Oh, that is so cute
Oh, he's so tiny Is he in a ladle?
Yeah, he's in a ladle
That's adorable How on earth did you get him in a ladle?
He did it himself
Is that ladle stainless or
Oh, stainless Williams Sonoma
Excuse me, waiter there's a dog in my soup
It's not that kind of ladle
Very cute Let me see.
Just the battery on these things
I'm sorry, I've gotta recharge this
Last time I had a job
I remember I hated the boss' wife
Of course, she was married to Robert.
Your employees don't seem to be taking to me.
Andy
Andy, could you step in here, please?
We'll fix this
What is going on?
Please
Ah, Andrew, my wife
has brought up an issue that requires your attention
So, if you'll excuse me I should step out,
get to the ATM before that homeless man sets up camp for the night
Okey-dokey, artichokey
You hate it, don't you?
Do you not want me here?
Why would you say that? It's okay.
I understand I'm not sure how I would fee
about having the boss' wife work for me either
It's not that exactly
But it is something
Let's just say that if you don't want to work here
I am totally prepared to respect that
Why would you not want me working here?
I don't know
what you're going through
My husband can be a very difficult man to read, can't he?
Yes
The dude is an enigma
So he is mixed up in this, isn't he?
Got it
What do you think you're doing?
Getting my sweat on
I build you this temple to the human body
and you're lifting what, five pounds?
I just did, like, 35 minutes on the treadmill
I was watching you. You want to know how long it really was?
No Eight minutes!
Dude, I'm gonna be here all week, right?
Five days a week. I figure I'll start slow
Is that the same philosophy you apply to buffalo wings?
I want you to bring that same buffalo wing passion to this gym
I'm gonna make you look like Lebron James
It's Lejon Brames
That's what I said. Yeah
Get it right I know.
Cameras
Still here. Terrific
Andy and I had a great conversation
And I just want to let you know
that I am not going to be working here
Well, that's a shame
It just was one of those things... Is it?
Because we talked about it
and it seems like that might be what you want.
Which is fine Where did this come from?
Did Andy say that?
No, he did not
But I could tell he was struggling
to understand what was expected of him
What's the struggle? He made a great call hired a great person
You sure about that?
Absolutely. No games?
No games
Because Andy seemed to think there was some information
he was not able to share with me
Enough of this I mean, real Enough
It's gotten way out of hand Andrew, this is my wife
Whatever privacy you were trying to protect between us, I thank you for
But it is not welcome right now
Just be honest
Andy Yes
Why do you keep looking at my husband?
Andy, just answer the question.
No games?
No games
Okay
of funny, actually.
Robert storms in and he says
"In four seconds my wife's gonna be in here
"I told her she could work here
"Under no circumstances can that be allowed to happen."
You lying son of a bitch
Tell my wife you're lying
That's not true, is it?
No, it's not
I tell the truth most of the time
and I was just telling the truth about your husband
Jim knows. He was there
This is preposterous
Robert Let's get Jim in here.
Where's Jim?
He just rolled out and crawled out
Can you call security tell them to keep an eye out for him?
Time to settle this
Wait, wait, wait Hold on, hold on
Just real quick. Real quick, open... Okay
That's weird
Well, he's gotta be around here somewhere
Ow! Ow
Ow
Creed, I was never here, all right?
Okay. What about your friend?
Oh, boy
This is my gym, my rules You do exactly as I say no questions asked
Yeah, I'm gonna ask questions,
and I might not do what you say
First thing, we're gonna stretch the pelvic bowl
Ready? Get down on the floor
Okay, I'm not doing that
Really?
Too embarrassing for you? Huh?
You wish that every exercise was strutting around the gym like the Fonz?
Well, how do you think the Fonz got so cool?
He stretched his pelvic bowl
Darryl joined
Looks that way
Nice pelvic bowl. Deep
Hello, Jim
No, no. No, no, no
Don't. Damn it, Tuna
So, I think you know what we want to know
Do l? Yes
I know. I do
Jim, I've had enough of your unhelpfulness
I'm not really sure how I can
For God's sake, did Robert tell you
that he didn't want me working here?
That's the thing
See, I didn't want to get in the middle of this Still don't.
But here's something
I feel that maybe, if we take a step back
this is a simple case of anxiety to work with a spouse
I think we've got ourselves an answer
No That makes complete sense, right?
Thank you all for a wonderful day Perfect!
Jim Yes?
Answer the question please.
want me to tell you.
To be really honest, my wife works here
And I love it
She literally makes me work harder
She makes me smarter. She makes me remember why I'm here
And between us she's on maternity leave right now
and I would love to leave this room and see her face
but it's just what I'm thinking
All right. Thanks
Yes. All right
Uh.
Yeah
Thank you
Andy
Hey, Mrs. California
Hey. I'm sorry about the position you were put in today.
You know, honestly we all wanted you to work there
Except for him Especially me
Yes, I thought we really hit it off.
Yeah
Well, different circumstances
Yeah
Who knows? Who knows?
Maybe after all this settles down
Totally
It's a date
Hmm?
You're nothing! You're so weak
You call yourself a man? Huh?
This doesn't help me I don't respond to that kind of strategy.
Okay, fine
Finish your set on your own and never come back to my gym again!
Dwight, come back and spot me
All right, I'll help you
But first, you gotta tell me what your goal is
What do you want?
To push this bar up
No! Because if that was the case, the bar would be up by now
What is your goal?
Help me
What do you want?
To look good for Val
Val Kilmer?
I don't buy it that doesn't make any sense
Wow
I figured out your goal
I am gonna make you the buffest dude Val Kilmer has ever seen
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.