1 00:00:04,514 --> 00:00:05,973 Val, I need the space 2 00:00:06,850 --> 00:00:07,975 All right guys, clear out 3 00:00:08,059 --> 00:00:09,018 Everybody out 4 00:00:09,102 --> 00:00:10,310 Promise me you're going to clean up. 5 00:00:10,395 --> 00:00:12,646 what I'm going to do or not do 6 00:00:12,731 --> 00:00:13,731 Promise me 7 00:00:13,815 --> 00:00:15,107 Obviously I'm going to clean up 8 00:00:15,191 --> 00:00:18,068 Stress is like the uptight mayor of a town who's saying 9 00:00:18,153 --> 00:00:20,320 "Hey, we're uptight You can't dance." 10 00:00:20,405 --> 00:00:24,116 And then, you have to be like "Oh, yeah, Mayor Stress? Well, watch this.' 11 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:26,452 And then, we dance. 12 00:00:28,496 --> 00:00:30,330 Oh, how we dance. 13 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:06,742 Sex also works 14 00:01:30,558 --> 00:01:32,309 Hey, Jim's back from jury duty. 15 00:01:32,393 --> 00:01:35,854 Hey! Tuna He's back 16 00:01:36,397 --> 00:01:37,397 Hey 17 00:01:37,482 --> 00:01:38,440 Oh, look at this 18 00:01:38,525 --> 00:01:40,275 Tuna wrap Okay 19 00:01:41,736 --> 00:01:43,070 Hand roll 20 00:01:43,780 --> 00:01:44,947 How was jury duty? 21 00:01:45,198 --> 00:01:46,490 Pretty uneventful actually. 22 00:01:46,574 --> 00:01:48,784 let someone like you serve on a jury 23 00:01:48,868 --> 00:01:50,828 Makes me question the whole judicial system 24 00:01:51,037 --> 00:01:52,121 What was the case? 25 00:01:52,205 --> 00:01:53,288 A hit and run 26 00:01:53,873 --> 00:01:55,791 Ooh! The case of the hit and run. That's exciting. 27 00:01:55,875 --> 00:01:57,209 Did you send him to the slammer? 28 00:01:57,293 --> 00:01:58,836 No. Not guilty 29 00:01:59,045 --> 00:02:00,546 Of course you found him not guilty 30 00:02:01,297 --> 00:02:04,550 He apologized And I just really want him to like me. Mmm! 31 00:02:05,260 --> 00:02:06,343 We're best friends actually. 32 00:02:06,427 --> 00:02:08,470 We're going wine tasting next weekend if you want to come 33 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:09,847 Not coming Have plans. 34 00:02:09,973 --> 00:02:11,140 Okay 35 00:02:11,224 --> 00:02:13,433 I did get called into jury duty 36 00:02:13,518 --> 00:02:15,394 And they released me around noon 37 00:02:15,478 --> 00:02:17,479 so I didn't think it was worth it 38 00:02:17,564 --> 00:02:19,606 to come back to work for a half day. 39 00:02:19,691 --> 00:02:22,651 And then the next morning, Pam was a little overwhelmed with the kids 40 00:02:22,735 --> 00:02:25,237 so I took an extra day to help out. 41 00:02:26,239 --> 00:02:28,699 And then three other days happened 42 00:02:29,534 --> 00:02:30,742 Ah 43 00:02:31,077 --> 00:02:32,744 Angela had the baby 44 00:02:32,996 --> 00:02:35,873 Is it black? Because that would be hilarious 45 00:02:35,957 --> 00:02:37,040 Why? 46 00:02:37,959 --> 00:02:39,126 You know 47 00:02:39,210 --> 00:02:42,087 Would it be more hilarious than Angela having a Chinese baby? 48 00:02:42,547 --> 00:02:45,924 A little bit. Yeah. Right, guys? Back me up 49 00:02:46,926 --> 00:02:47,885 Maybe a little bit 50 00:02:47,969 --> 00:02:49,720 Oh. Did I win the pool? 51 00:02:50,221 --> 00:02:52,306 Uh, no Right month wrong year. 52 00:02:52,891 --> 00:02:55,475 No one won the pool Angela wasn't due for another month. 53 00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:57,519 We should all go to the hospital and visit her 54 00:02:57,604 --> 00:02:59,730 Oh, I'd love to, but 55 00:02:59,981 --> 00:03:02,357 Oh, man, I would, but I can't miss any more work 56 00:03:02,442 --> 00:03:05,944 Well, Kevin and I have to go because accounting is its own little family. 57 00:03:06,029 --> 00:03:10,824 Yeah, Oscar's the dad I'm Oscar's dad and Angela's my mom. 58 00:03:11,326 --> 00:03:13,660 Everyone, our very own Angela 59 00:03:13,745 --> 00:03:15,787 We all got the e-mail Some of us are going to go visit 60 00:03:15,997 --> 00:03:17,539 Oh, I am so in 61 00:03:20,126 --> 00:03:22,211 It's the perfect blend of love and horror 62 00:03:22,295 --> 00:03:25,047 Things can go so wrong or so right 63 00:03:27,550 --> 00:03:30,344 Come on, Judge Judy tell us your case. What were the deets? 64 00:03:30,428 --> 00:03:32,054 It was actually a pretty boring case 65 00:03:32,138 --> 00:03:35,182 How could it be boring? You were there for five days Titillate us 66 00:03:35,266 --> 00:03:38,518 Yeah, you owe us. I had to stay until 6:00 twice to cover for you. 67 00:03:38,811 --> 00:03:40,395 My wife got to the TV first. 68 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:43,065 I had to sit through damn Rizzoli & damn Isles. 69 00:03:43,149 --> 00:03:45,943 Yeah. My car got smashed visiting one of your clients 70 00:03:46,027 --> 00:03:49,029 and I had to have it detailed and they took my meter change 71 00:03:49,364 --> 00:03:50,405 Wow. I'm really sorry 72 00:03:50,490 --> 00:03:51,531 Yeah 73 00:03:51,950 --> 00:03:53,867 I never considered that my week off 74 00:03:53,952 --> 00:03:56,453 would make everyone else's job harder 75 00:03:57,622 --> 00:03:59,665 The least I could do was give them a good story 76 00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:01,917 So Phyllis he was here and then 77 00:04:02,001 --> 00:04:04,586 the car came and it was like that. 78 00:04:04,671 --> 00:04:06,755 Yeah, so it had to be a double backflip, actually 79 00:04:06,839 --> 00:04:10,384 You know when I was on J-duties strangler case, 80 00:04:10,468 --> 00:04:15,347 we used to recreate the various stranglings with empanadas from Ernesto's 81 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:17,182 Oh, man, Ernesto's 82 00:04:17,267 --> 00:04:18,892 That was our favorite restaurant, too 83 00:04:19,060 --> 00:04:21,228 You mean food truck Ernesto's was a food truck 84 00:04:21,312 --> 00:04:22,854 Toby, shut your hole about the empanadas 85 00:04:22,939 --> 00:04:24,773 Nobody cares about the empanadas 86 00:04:24,983 --> 00:04:26,566 I was in Los Angeles last year 87 00:04:26,651 --> 00:04:30,112 Jim tricked me into thinking I'd won a walk-on part on NCIS: 88 00:04:30,196 --> 00:04:31,154 but that's not important 89 00:04:31,239 --> 00:04:34,783 While I was being kicked off the lot, I saw food trucks everywhere 90 00:04:34,867 --> 00:04:36,743 Everyone in Los Angeles eats from them 91 00:04:36,828 --> 00:04:39,830 and nobody calls them restaurants 92 00:04:46,462 --> 00:04:49,631 Guys, I don't know how many of you have seen 93 00:04:49,716 --> 00:04:51,466 Gabe, bring it in 94 00:04:51,551 --> 00:04:54,469 how many of you have seen a premature baby before. 95 00:04:54,554 --> 00:04:57,431 It's going to be really tiny so please don't say anything offensive 96 00:04:57,890 --> 00:04:59,057 Got that, bimbo? 97 00:04:59,142 --> 00:05:00,642 Got it, bimbo 98 00:05:01,853 --> 00:05:02,894 Yes? 99 00:05:03,479 --> 00:05:05,022 Knock, knock. 100 00:05:05,690 --> 00:05:06,732 Hi. Uh 101 00:05:09,777 --> 00:05:12,487 I don't want What are you guys doing here? 102 00:05:12,572 --> 00:05:14,865 We wanted to say hi to the newest little Dunder Mifflinite 103 00:05:14,949 --> 00:05:20,537 Well, meet our not-so-little bundle of joy Philip Halsted Lipton 104 00:05:20,747 --> 00:05:22,164 Philip is so fat 105 00:05:22,248 --> 00:05:23,373 Kevin 106 00:05:23,458 --> 00:05:25,876 You warned me not to say anything if it was tiny, Oscar 107 00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:28,837 You didn't prepare me for a big, giant, fat baby 108 00:05:28,921 --> 00:05:30,756 Yes, he's substantial Hey 109 00:05:30,840 --> 00:05:33,759 He's more than substantial He's a monster. 110 00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:38,013 So this whole hit and run thing 111 00:05:38,097 --> 00:05:40,015 there's this one part I can't figure out. 112 00:05:40,099 --> 00:05:41,558 You said it was at a four-way stop? 113 00:05:41,642 --> 00:05:42,642 Mmm-hmm 114 00:05:42,769 --> 00:05:46,813 And the victim rode his bicycle into the left-hand turn lane 115 00:05:46,898 --> 00:05:49,608 but the perp was already in the left-hand turn lane? 116 00:05:49,901 --> 00:05:50,942 Mmm-hmm 117 00:05:51,069 --> 00:05:54,780 See, that's what I'm having trouble with, because the fact is 118 00:05:56,115 --> 00:05:58,492 you never said he was on a bicycle. 119 00:06:03,247 --> 00:06:05,374 Busted, Halpert! Yes Wait. No 120 00:06:05,458 --> 00:06:06,625 Andy, get out here 121 00:06:06,709 --> 00:06:07,834 was on a bicycle 122 00:06:07,919 --> 00:06:09,252 wasn't listening to you 123 00:06:09,337 --> 00:06:10,587 a citizen's arrest 124 00:06:10,671 --> 00:06:11,922 You have the right to remain silent. 125 00:06:12,006 --> 00:06:13,215 You have the right to beg for mercy. 126 00:06:13,299 --> 00:06:16,343 You have the right to request judgment by combat Dwight's rights 127 00:06:16,761 --> 00:06:17,886 What's up, gangsters? 128 00:06:18,429 --> 00:06:20,722 Jim was lying about jury duty 129 00:06:20,807 --> 00:06:24,142 He was lying the whole time so he could go do yoga or go canoeing, 130 00:06:24,227 --> 00:06:26,728 I don't know what this pervert likes. Fire him! 131 00:06:27,313 --> 00:06:29,898 Dwight, not everything is a conspiracy theory 132 00:06:30,233 --> 00:06:33,443 saying that the victim... 133 00:06:33,528 --> 00:06:35,654 Dwight I have me on the record 134 00:06:35,738 --> 00:06:38,865 saying to you take a chill pill all right? 135 00:06:39,158 --> 00:06:40,492 I don't need to take a chill pill 136 00:06:40,827 --> 00:06:41,827 Here, right there 137 00:06:45,665 --> 00:06:46,915 Down the hatch 138 00:06:46,999 --> 00:06:49,793 I really don't want to take a chill pill. 139 00:06:50,128 --> 00:06:53,463 That a boy, good Now, chill. 140 00:06:53,548 --> 00:06:54,548 Okay, okay 141 00:06:57,510 --> 00:07:01,221 But let's just say that Jim was lying about jury duty 142 00:07:01,305 --> 00:07:02,889 you would have to fire him, right? 143 00:07:03,683 --> 00:07:06,601 Yeah, sure. Of course. I'd fire him to Timbuktu 144 00:07:06,686 --> 00:07:07,769 Ha-ha 145 00:07:09,439 --> 00:07:11,189 Good enough for me 146 00:07:12,358 --> 00:07:13,400 Ah 147 00:07:16,779 --> 00:07:19,448 And Pam was just going crazy trying to take care of Philip 148 00:07:19,532 --> 00:07:21,867 because Cece has been out of control recently. 149 00:07:22,994 --> 00:07:26,621 Look, Andy, it doesn't matter The truth is I just feel terrible lying to you. 150 00:07:26,706 --> 00:07:29,040 getting lied to 151 00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:31,376 No one's ever lied to me before 152 00:07:33,379 --> 00:07:34,463 Okay 153 00:07:34,547 --> 00:07:36,381 I think the best thing to do right now 154 00:07:36,466 --> 00:07:38,258 is just come clean and tell everybody 155 00:07:38,342 --> 00:07:41,136 No. Not after what I told Dwight about firing you. No 156 00:07:41,220 --> 00:07:42,220 Here's what we're going to do 157 00:07:42,930 --> 00:07:44,890 We're going to have ourselves a good old fashioned cover-up 158 00:07:45,892 --> 00:07:48,268 You ever heard of a Connecticut cover up? No 159 00:07:48,478 --> 00:07:50,353 You know why you never heard of it? 160 00:07:50,438 --> 00:07:51,480 Covered it up 161 00:07:52,732 --> 00:07:54,524 Are you sure you can keep this under wraps? 162 00:07:54,609 --> 00:07:56,443 They used to call me King Tut 163 00:07:56,527 --> 00:07:59,112 because I'm so good at keeping things under wraps 164 00:07:59,322 --> 00:08:01,865 My nickname was actually King Butt 165 00:08:01,949 --> 00:08:03,700 because I had a king-sized butt 166 00:08:12,627 --> 00:08:13,752 Where do you want it parked? 167 00:08:15,254 --> 00:08:18,673 Okay, everybody Gather round. 168 00:08:18,758 --> 00:08:20,800 Got a real special surprise for you 169 00:08:20,885 --> 00:08:22,093 Ernesto 170 00:08:22,428 --> 00:08:23,803 Hola, Toby! 171 00:08:31,437 --> 00:08:34,147 Uh, I'm going to say "l" when I'm talking for Ernesto 172 00:08:34,232 --> 00:08:36,483 so instead of, "He says blah, blah, blah,' 173 00:08:36,567 --> 00:08:39,444 I'm going to say, "I say blah, blah, blah,' but that's for him. 174 00:08:39,946 --> 00:08:43,406 Anyway, it was something like he remembers Toby. 175 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:45,242 "I remember Toby.' 176 00:08:46,035 --> 00:08:49,746 Oh, Jim. Hey, this guy look familiar? 177 00:08:50,206 --> 00:08:51,373 It's the empanada guy 178 00:08:51,457 --> 00:08:52,582 The empanada guy 179 00:08:52,667 --> 00:08:56,127 Holy. Damn it, Toby No, I wasn't asking you. 180 00:08:57,380 --> 00:08:58,755 Ask him if he remembers Jim 181 00:09:03,719 --> 00:09:04,761 No 182 00:09:05,137 --> 00:09:06,179 He says no 183 00:09:06,264 --> 00:09:07,514 He says no. Boom 184 00:09:07,598 --> 00:09:09,140 Yeah, but who remembers all their customers? 185 00:09:09,225 --> 00:09:11,351 I mean, I can name like three of our clients 186 00:09:11,435 --> 00:09:14,479 He remembers Toby the most forgettable man in the known world 187 00:09:18,818 --> 00:09:20,694 He doesn't want any trouble. 188 00:09:20,778 --> 00:09:22,362 He sees lots of people 189 00:09:22,446 --> 00:09:25,282 they come from all around to eat his delicious meat pockets. 190 00:09:25,366 --> 00:09:29,494 Uh, you guys are going to love these, so empanadas on me 191 00:09:29,579 --> 00:09:30,579 You guys got to try them 192 00:09:30,663 --> 00:09:34,916 Usually I'm a burrito guy but if you won't tell, I won't. Wink, wink. 193 00:09:35,084 --> 00:09:37,794 Great And while we're enjoying these delicious empanadas 194 00:09:37,878 --> 00:09:40,171 Jim, why don't you tell us your story again? 195 00:09:40,256 --> 00:09:41,339 Why? Everybody's heard it 196 00:09:41,799 --> 00:09:43,133 Walk us through it 197 00:09:43,217 --> 00:09:44,676 What time would you get there every morning? 198 00:09:45,177 --> 00:09:46,761 Hey, Murder, She Wrote, 199 00:09:46,846 --> 00:09:50,390 how about we drop the whole Murder, She Wrote thing, okay? 200 00:09:50,558 --> 00:09:53,435 Jim was at the courthouse for jury duty every morning 201 00:09:53,519 --> 00:09:56,187 How do I know? Because I drove him there 202 00:09:56,939 --> 00:09:58,773 Why? Why? 203 00:09:59,358 --> 00:10:00,400 Why? 204 00:10:02,111 --> 00:10:03,695 Because my car broke down 205 00:10:04,322 --> 00:10:05,780 His car broke down so he called me 206 00:10:05,865 --> 00:10:06,948 because I live near the courthouse 207 00:10:07,033 --> 00:10:09,993 Wait, wait, you live by the courthouse 208 00:10:10,077 --> 00:10:13,455 You drove from near the courthouse out to Jim's house 209 00:10:13,539 --> 00:10:14,998 and then back to the courthouse? 210 00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:17,626 Thirty minutes out 30 minutes back easy hour. 211 00:10:17,710 --> 00:10:19,502 And I would watch that cute, little tooshy 212 00:10:19,587 --> 00:10:21,838 scurry up those courthouse stairs every morning 213 00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:23,590 and that was that 214 00:10:24,133 --> 00:10:28,053 I'm sorry, do you have any American Mexican food? 215 00:10:28,638 --> 00:10:30,305 We're getting buried out there 216 00:10:30,389 --> 00:10:32,015 What was that stuff about the car breaking down? 217 00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:33,892 Well, I think you handled it pretty well 218 00:10:34,018 --> 00:10:37,437 I'm not Rumpelstiltskin, Jim, I can't keep spinning gold out of your 219 00:10:37,563 --> 00:10:39,147 Okay, listen, all right? 220 00:10:39,231 --> 00:10:41,441 Dwight's onto us. He's going to figure it out really soon 221 00:10:41,525 --> 00:10:43,360 So let's just get ahead of it. Let's tell the truth 222 00:10:44,487 --> 00:10:46,488 I don't even know what the truth is anymore. 223 00:10:47,281 --> 00:10:48,823 Wow, it's so 224 00:10:49,617 --> 00:10:50,825 healthy 225 00:10:50,910 --> 00:10:53,453 I'm going to call him Little Kevin 226 00:10:53,537 --> 00:10:54,913 No, you will not 227 00:10:54,997 --> 00:10:58,333 Is he really five pounds? Because I squat with five pounds 228 00:10:58,876 --> 00:10:59,959 This 229 00:11:00,461 --> 00:11:02,379 Yeah, this feels like more than that 230 00:11:02,463 --> 00:11:05,090 No, no, no he's nine pounds seven ounces. 231 00:11:06,050 --> 00:11:07,926 Nine pounds? Really? 232 00:11:08,427 --> 00:11:11,846 I thought you said five You know what? I was under so many drugs 233 00:11:11,931 --> 00:11:15,642 a James Taylor concert or something 234 00:11:16,769 --> 00:11:17,811 So, what did you bring? 235 00:11:17,895 --> 00:11:20,980 Oh, yeah, I don't know if it's right, but... 236 00:11:21,065 --> 00:11:24,359 Well, if it's anything like that gorgeous wrapping paper 237 00:11:24,443 --> 00:11:25,527 you hit it out of the park 238 00:11:26,821 --> 00:11:27,904 Oh 239 00:11:28,114 --> 00:11:29,739 Preemie pajamas 240 00:11:29,824 --> 00:11:31,533 Again, it may not be the right size, I can 241 00:11:31,617 --> 00:11:34,994 No, I think he came early just so he could wear these 242 00:11:35,204 --> 00:11:36,204 Thank you 243 00:11:36,288 --> 00:11:38,707 Call of Duty. 244 00:11:38,791 --> 00:11:41,251 This baby is clearly not premature 245 00:11:41,335 --> 00:11:43,211 They're lying about the date it was conceived 246 00:11:43,295 --> 00:11:45,171 It's very interesting 247 00:11:45,297 --> 00:11:49,342 And her husband's gay I don't even know which thread to follow. 248 00:11:57,309 --> 00:12:00,687 Uh, excuse me, can I have everyone's attention for a second? 249 00:12:00,896 --> 00:12:02,522 First off, I just want to say that I'm really sorry 250 00:12:02,606 --> 00:12:04,399 I didn't know that my absence last week 251 00:12:04,483 --> 00:12:06,234 would have been a burden on any of you 252 00:12:06,318 --> 00:12:09,404 Because, though I did have jury duty last week, 253 00:12:09,905 --> 00:12:12,991 they did dismiss me early on Monday. 254 00:12:14,577 --> 00:12:16,828 And I think you're going to find this pretty hilarious. 255 00:12:16,912 --> 00:12:20,874 I kind of, well maybe took the week off 256 00:12:22,293 --> 00:12:23,251 What? 257 00:12:23,335 --> 00:12:25,378 Funny? No? Nobody laughed 258 00:12:26,922 --> 00:12:28,465 You're screwed 259 00:12:29,258 --> 00:12:32,469 Oh! It's happening. It's really happening 260 00:12:32,553 --> 00:12:35,305 What the hell, Jim I covered for your bony butt 261 00:12:35,389 --> 00:12:37,599 Pam really needed some help with the kids, so... 262 00:12:37,683 --> 00:12:39,184 I promise my intentions were good 263 00:12:39,268 --> 00:12:40,894 Your clients, they're all mine 264 00:12:40,978 --> 00:12:45,315 Jim, I got my ass chewed out because one of your orders got messed up. 265 00:12:45,733 --> 00:12:47,776 And Andy, you said you drove him to the courthouse 266 00:12:47,902 --> 00:12:49,068 Uh, I did 267 00:12:50,196 --> 00:12:53,198 Every morning And if I didn't then I hope I die 268 00:12:53,532 --> 00:12:58,036 All right, well, let's get this show on the road, shall we? 269 00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:01,039 Allow me to give you a hand Here we are. 270 00:13:01,123 --> 00:13:03,249 So long, clump mate 271 00:13:03,959 --> 00:13:05,585 I'm going to miss you Truth be told, 272 00:13:05,669 --> 00:13:08,338 I never thought that this was how it was going to end 273 00:13:08,422 --> 00:13:10,465 I was going to defeat you somehow 274 00:13:10,549 --> 00:13:11,674 but you've defeated yourself 275 00:13:12,426 --> 00:13:14,886 Dwight, cut it out I'm not firing Jim. 276 00:13:15,012 --> 00:13:16,638 No, no, no, no you said... 277 00:13:16,722 --> 00:13:18,473 I know what I said 278 00:13:18,557 --> 00:13:22,644 Jim, you're in deep doo-doo you understand? 279 00:13:22,728 --> 00:13:24,020 And I have one thing to say to you 280 00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:26,314 and I'm going to say it in front of this whole office 281 00:13:26,398 --> 00:13:27,732 Look me in the eye 282 00:13:31,403 --> 00:13:32,487 That's it? 283 00:13:33,864 --> 00:13:35,323 This is crap 284 00:13:37,868 --> 00:13:40,078 You've reached Gabe Lewis. I'm currently indisposed. 285 00:13:40,162 --> 00:13:42,080 Leave me a message. Ciao. 286 00:13:42,164 --> 00:13:43,331 Gabe, it's Dwight again 287 00:13:43,415 --> 00:13:45,500 Highest priority triple urgent. 288 00:13:45,584 --> 00:13:48,169 Call me immediately That means ASAP 289 00:13:48,838 --> 00:13:50,672 I'm going to find Gabe tell him what Jim did 290 00:13:50,756 --> 00:13:53,758 and let the little stickler do what he does best, stickle 291 00:13:54,885 --> 00:13:57,428 Honestly, I can return this for a larger size 292 00:13:57,638 --> 00:14:00,431 It's fine Pajamas aren't supposed to be baggy, right? 293 00:14:00,516 --> 00:14:01,766 It's not the barrio 294 00:14:03,060 --> 00:14:06,604 The only premature baby in this room is the baby this baby ate 295 00:14:09,358 --> 00:14:10,817 Little Kevin 296 00:14:11,110 --> 00:14:12,735 Really? Angela 297 00:14:12,945 --> 00:14:14,279 Fine. God 298 00:14:15,030 --> 00:14:16,906 Philip was conceived nine months ago. 299 00:14:18,450 --> 00:14:20,827 The Senator and I wanted to wait 300 00:14:21,370 --> 00:14:23,204 but we had just seen Thor, 301 00:14:23,289 --> 00:14:25,707 and there was way too much wine in my chicken piccata 302 00:14:25,791 --> 00:14:27,542 Chicken marsala Right 303 00:14:27,626 --> 00:14:31,212 And, the point is, Philip was conceived out of wedlock 304 00:14:31,297 --> 00:14:32,380 Hmm 305 00:14:32,506 --> 00:14:35,717 And now you all know but you can never tell 306 00:14:36,176 --> 00:14:37,594 I'm serious 307 00:14:39,263 --> 00:14:40,471 Dwight 308 00:14:40,681 --> 00:14:41,681 Hey 309 00:14:41,807 --> 00:14:42,849 Oh. Hey, have you seen Gabe? 310 00:14:42,933 --> 00:14:45,101 He went to the car or something but he'll be back. 311 00:14:45,477 --> 00:14:46,477 Okay 312 00:14:49,648 --> 00:14:50,899 Don't you want to see the baby? 313 00:14:51,567 --> 00:14:54,319 Why? I know what Angela and the Senator look like 314 00:14:54,403 --> 00:14:56,738 I can mash that up in my head right now 315 00:14:59,742 --> 00:15:01,075 wouldn't tell 316 00:15:01,327 --> 00:15:02,368 So don't 317 00:15:02,912 --> 00:15:06,080 Angela got pregnant before the wedding. 318 00:15:08,292 --> 00:15:09,375 What? 319 00:15:09,627 --> 00:15:10,752 She got pregnant before the wedding 320 00:15:10,836 --> 00:15:12,503 How long before? A month 321 00:15:19,136 --> 00:15:20,303 You didn't hear it from me 322 00:15:20,387 --> 00:15:21,763 Yes, I did 323 00:15:26,685 --> 00:15:28,061 Dwight? Dwight. 324 00:15:29,271 --> 00:15:32,190 Well, Angela will make you cut your fingernails It's not worth it 325 00:15:33,025 --> 00:15:34,108 Oh 326 00:15:34,526 --> 00:15:35,610 Yes 327 00:15:36,445 --> 00:15:37,528 Oh 328 00:15:37,738 --> 00:15:42,492 What a beautiful child Prominent forehead, short arms, tiny nose. 329 00:15:43,994 --> 00:15:45,870 You will lead millions 330 00:15:46,538 --> 00:15:48,873 willingly or as slaves 331 00:15:49,249 --> 00:15:53,378 That baby is a Schrute, and unless somebody taught Mose sex 332 00:15:53,712 --> 00:15:55,380 that baby is mine 333 00:15:56,966 --> 00:15:58,299 He's hungry 334 00:15:58,384 --> 00:16:00,468 Oh, that's my cue to leave. 335 00:16:00,552 --> 00:16:02,261 No, you don't have to I'm going to wear this cover. 336 00:16:02,346 --> 00:16:05,264 Still 337 00:16:05,349 --> 00:16:06,474 You won't be seeing 338 00:16:08,894 --> 00:16:09,894 Do you want the giraffe? 339 00:16:09,979 --> 00:16:12,897 Yes, I am bringing my kids in to help me get out of this hole. 340 00:16:12,982 --> 00:16:14,732 And you all remember my beautiful wife, Pam 341 00:16:14,817 --> 00:16:15,858 Hi 342 00:16:16,735 --> 00:16:18,820 Wow, I really thought I'd be more excited to be here 343 00:16:18,904 --> 00:16:20,697 Whoa, whoa, whoa Game face, baby. Game face 344 00:16:20,781 --> 00:16:21,823 Oh, right. Okay 345 00:16:21,907 --> 00:16:23,616 Hey, Stanley it's great to see you 346 00:16:23,701 --> 00:16:24,659 No, that's overdoing it I think. 347 00:16:24,743 --> 00:16:26,828 Hi, Stanley. Split the difference 348 00:16:26,912 --> 00:16:28,579 Jim. Okay. Let's go 349 00:16:28,998 --> 00:16:30,039 Hi 350 00:16:31,375 --> 00:16:32,834 Hi, everybody 351 00:16:32,918 --> 00:16:34,502 What? Oh, hi 352 00:16:34,586 --> 00:16:35,962 How about a little visit? 353 00:16:36,046 --> 00:16:39,007 Wow. What a surprise That's crazy 354 00:16:39,091 --> 00:16:41,009 You guys get to meet the little heck raisers 355 00:16:41,093 --> 00:16:42,760 Hey, Angela's back with her baby. 356 00:16:42,845 --> 00:16:44,512 Yes, well, you guys all know Cece, 357 00:16:44,596 --> 00:16:46,597 but we wanted to introduce you to baby Philip. 358 00:16:49,435 --> 00:16:50,727 You guys 359 00:16:53,105 --> 00:16:55,023 He's licking on my finger just like my cat does. 360 00:16:55,107 --> 00:16:56,232 Let me have a turn 361 00:16:56,316 --> 00:16:57,358 No, it's the pacifier's turn 362 00:16:57,443 --> 00:16:58,484 All right 363 00:16:58,569 --> 00:17:00,194 Did you say something about 364 00:17:00,279 --> 00:17:03,448 this one bringing in something for these people? 365 00:17:03,532 --> 00:17:06,701 Yes. Cece wanted to thank everybody 366 00:17:06,827 --> 00:17:10,246 for letting her daddy stay home with her all last week and play 367 00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:11,914 so she brought you a little treat 368 00:17:11,999 --> 00:17:13,166 Oh, cookies? 369 00:17:13,250 --> 00:17:14,792 No. But that would have been a really good idea 370 00:17:14,877 --> 00:17:15,877 That would have been really good 371 00:17:15,961 --> 00:17:18,629 No, she brought you drawings 372 00:17:18,839 --> 00:17:21,215 Oh, my goodness, let's take a look at these 373 00:17:21,300 --> 00:17:25,928 They're usually amazing so let's see. Yep, they are 374 00:17:26,013 --> 00:17:27,388 Uncle Andy 375 00:17:27,473 --> 00:17:28,514 Oh 376 00:17:28,599 --> 00:17:29,849 Aunt Phyllis 377 00:17:29,933 --> 00:17:33,102 Wow. These are incredible Cece, did you do these? 378 00:17:33,187 --> 00:17:34,228 No 379 00:17:34,313 --> 00:17:37,982 She says no to everything. You know, she thinks my name is "No.' 380 00:17:38,067 --> 00:17:39,901 Cece, do you want some broccoli? 381 00:17:39,985 --> 00:17:40,985 Yes 382 00:17:41,070 --> 00:17:42,070 No 383 00:17:42,821 --> 00:17:43,946 It's crazy 384 00:17:44,031 --> 00:17:46,657 Why am I shorter than the table that I'm standing next to? 385 00:17:47,451 --> 00:17:49,827 There is crosshatching in some of these 386 00:17:49,912 --> 00:17:51,746 That's kind of advanced for a 2-year-old. 387 00:17:51,830 --> 00:17:54,457 Cece, this is your big sister, Kelly 388 00:17:55,125 --> 00:17:56,417 Did you color this pretty picture? 389 00:17:56,502 --> 00:17:57,543 No 390 00:17:57,669 --> 00:17:59,837 So then this means nothing to you? 391 00:18:01,381 --> 00:18:02,673 Hey, Cece 392 00:18:03,050 --> 00:18:07,470 why don't you draw another picture for us exactly like this one 393 00:18:07,930 --> 00:18:10,598 or at least in the exact same style? 394 00:18:10,766 --> 00:18:13,851 You know what? I don't think you need to do things on command. 395 00:18:13,936 --> 00:18:16,771 That's very weird Just take that. Thank you. 396 00:18:16,855 --> 00:18:20,024 I think we should just wrap up the show kiddos, right? 397 00:18:20,651 --> 00:18:22,318 else we can do here 398 00:18:23,529 --> 00:18:24,779 Okay. All right 399 00:18:24,863 --> 00:18:26,572 It's okay, sweetie All right 400 00:18:26,657 --> 00:18:28,282 All right. Okay 401 00:18:31,370 --> 00:18:32,703 It's okay 402 00:18:32,955 --> 00:18:34,497 Shh 403 00:18:36,834 --> 00:18:41,129 Angela, this child is definitely mine. He looks just like me 404 00:18:41,213 --> 00:18:42,922 Every baby looks just like you 405 00:18:43,006 --> 00:18:44,382 Your face kind of looks like a baby 406 00:18:44,466 --> 00:18:48,970 Need I remind you that we were together a month before the wedding? 407 00:18:49,054 --> 00:18:51,139 That is completely untrue 408 00:18:51,223 --> 00:18:52,223 Completely true 409 00:18:52,307 --> 00:18:53,307 No Remember? 410 00:18:53,392 --> 00:18:55,268 You said that Robert was not fulfilling you 411 00:18:55,352 --> 00:18:56,686 And I said that I could fulfill you 412 00:18:56,770 --> 00:18:58,062 and you said "I'd like to see you try.' 413 00:18:58,147 --> 00:19:00,314 And then I kissed you with the force of a thousand waterfalls 414 00:19:00,399 --> 00:19:01,732 That didn't happen 415 00:19:01,817 --> 00:19:03,401 Then I inserted my penis into your... 416 00:19:03,485 --> 00:19:05,027 No! Stop it! Dwight 417 00:19:05,112 --> 00:19:06,237 vagina and 418 00:19:06,321 --> 00:19:07,530 And even if it did, it's just a coincidence 419 00:19:07,614 --> 00:19:09,157 Admit that there is a chance. I will not 420 00:19:09,241 --> 00:19:10,283 Admit it I will not 421 00:19:10,284 --> 00:19:11,284 It's not 422 00:19:12,077 --> 00:19:13,578 All done? Yes 423 00:19:13,662 --> 00:19:15,246 Yes. He's sleeping 424 00:19:15,330 --> 00:19:17,081 Before I go, may I? 425 00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:18,583 Sure 426 00:19:19,543 --> 00:19:21,836 Watch the head Watch the head 427 00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:33,598 Nurse! You know that baby in there? Baby Philip? 428 00:19:33,682 --> 00:19:35,141 Cancel the circumcision 429 00:19:35,225 --> 00:19:36,225 Who are you? 430 00:19:41,565 --> 00:19:43,774 what that means 431 00:19:44,318 --> 00:19:46,444 We're going to circumcise him 432 00:19:48,780 --> 00:19:49,864 Cece, want to come? 433 00:19:49,948 --> 00:19:50,907 No 434 00:19:50,991 --> 00:19:52,533 Want to come play? Oh, bud, I know. 435 00:19:52,618 --> 00:19:53,576 Do you have a pacifier? 436 00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:55,620 Yeah. I'm looking I'm looking for the pacifier. 437 00:19:56,163 --> 00:19:57,705 Cece Okay, we're going 438 00:19:57,789 --> 00:20:00,124 We got to go All right, we're going home 439 00:20:01,793 --> 00:20:03,961 I know 440 00:20:05,797 --> 00:20:07,840 You gotta grab her I'll go grab her. Okay 441 00:20:07,925 --> 00:20:10,259 Okay. Here we go Here we go. 442 00:20:10,385 --> 00:20:12,762 Okay, I'm just going to go down to the car, and I'm going to put her 443 00:20:12,846 --> 00:20:14,639 in her seat and I'll be right back up 444 00:20:16,308 --> 00:20:17,558 We'll see you tomorrow 445 00:20:17,643 --> 00:20:18,768 No, no, it's okay I'll be right back. 446 00:20:18,852 --> 00:20:19,936 No, just go home 447 00:20:20,020 --> 00:20:22,063 It's all good We got this. 448 00:20:23,899 --> 00:20:25,775 Last week Jim at home 449 00:20:27,194 --> 00:20:28,986 that was no vacation 450 00:20:29,404 --> 00:20:30,571 Jim, just go 451 00:20:30,656 --> 00:20:32,615 Hey, we'll be just fine 452 00:20:34,493 --> 00:20:35,910 Thanks, guys 453 00:20:36,328 --> 00:20:38,663 All right, here we go Let's go 454 00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:41,165 Oh! 455 00:20:41,333 --> 00:20:42,458 Phew 456 00:20:52,928 --> 00:20:54,053 Dwight, what the hell? 457 00:20:55,222 --> 00:20:56,722 You can't smoke in here 458 00:20:56,807 --> 00:20:58,307 Oh, all right 459 00:20:59,226 --> 00:21:00,268 Ah 460 00:21:00,352 --> 00:21:02,645 The office looks different now Mmm 461 00:21:02,854 --> 00:21:04,063 Smaller 462 00:21:04,731 --> 00:21:06,732 Maybe I just feel bigger 463 00:21:07,067 --> 00:21:08,109 Hello, Gabe 464 00:21:08,193 --> 00:21:09,318 You had something important to tell me? 465 00:21:10,195 --> 00:21:14,532 Oh. You know, I did but now it seems infinitely insignificant 466 00:21:15,242 --> 00:21:18,911 Jim? Oh, right No, forget it. 467 00:21:18,996 --> 00:21:21,497 He was doing it for his kids I get it 468 00:21:21,707 --> 00:21:24,125 Kids drive us dads crazy. 469 00:21:24,209 --> 00:21:25,918 Sometimes I feel like they're raising us. 470 00:21:26,253 --> 00:21:27,628 Am I right? 471 00:21:28,315 --> 00:21:38,315 Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.