1 00:00:01,216 --> 00:00:03,479 Today is the first day of Sabre's new project: 2 00:00:03,599 --> 00:00:05,389 Develop a chain of retail stores. 3 00:00:05,509 --> 00:00:07,881 I am meeting my new boss, Nellie Bertram. 4 00:00:08,001 --> 00:00:10,167 Head of Special Projects. 5 00:00:10,201 --> 00:00:12,083 Work starts at 9:00. 6 00:00:12,118 --> 00:00:15,500 Sabre HQ is 30 minutes away, driving the speed limit. 7 00:00:15,535 --> 00:00:17,500 Giving everyone 20 minutes to shower, 8 00:00:17,535 --> 00:00:19,867 plus 50 for Jim to style his hair, 9 00:00:19,918 --> 00:00:21,450 20 for breakfast, 10 00:00:21,484 --> 00:00:24,500 40 for Erin to get lost between her room and the lobby, 11 00:00:24,535 --> 00:00:27,950 90 for Ryan to do his morning ecstasy. 12 00:00:27,968 --> 00:00:31,117 We're already 20 minutes late. 13 00:00:36,634 --> 00:00:39,750 Wake up! 14 00:00:42,301 --> 00:00:44,616 Hey, hey, hey, hey! Wake up! 15 00:00:44,651 --> 00:00:46,117 Ah! 16 00:00:46,151 --> 00:00:47,450 Why are you sleeping that way? 17 00:00:47,468 --> 00:00:48,833 Oh. 18 00:00:48,884 --> 00:00:51,217 I was reading the mattress tag, and I fell asleep. 19 00:00:51,251 --> 00:00:52,616 Stanley! 20 00:00:52,651 --> 00:00:55,417 Wake up! You've got to wake up, the hotel's on fire! 21 00:00:55,451 --> 00:00:58,500 Stanley, wake up, it's pretzel day! 22 00:01:03,717 --> 00:01:05,500 Mmm! 23 00:01:07,168 --> 00:01:08,217 Good morning. 24 00:01:08,251 --> 00:01:10,816 Hey, wake up. Let's have some fun. 25 00:01:10,851 --> 00:01:12,350 We're in Florida now. 26 00:01:12,385 --> 00:01:14,683 Hey, you. I'm so glad this is happening. 27 00:01:14,717 --> 00:01:17,083 I actually came to your door twice last night. 28 00:01:17,118 --> 00:01:19,583 Come on in, the water's fine. 29 00:01:21,385 --> 00:01:23,850 I am on the two kid sleep schedule, 30 00:01:23,884 --> 00:01:26,083 so I'm up and at 'em at 4:15, 31 00:01:26,118 --> 00:01:27,384 but no kids, 32 00:01:27,418 --> 00:01:30,384 so I honestly didn't know what to do with myself, 33 00:01:30,418 --> 00:01:32,117 and then I thought of something. 34 00:01:32,151 --> 00:01:33,167 Uh— 35 00:01:33,218 --> 00:01:36,217 He-e-ere's Dwi— What the—? 36 00:01:38,834 --> 00:01:42,050 - Oh, man. - What do you think happened? 37 00:01:42,084 --> 00:01:44,833 Looks like Jim got mixed up with some bad apples. 38 00:01:46,084 --> 00:01:47,816 Oh, no, no, no, no. 39 00:01:47,851 --> 00:01:49,883 It wasn't me. 40 00:01:49,918 --> 00:01:52,616 I gotta find Luwanda at the Alcohol Club. 41 00:01:52,634 --> 00:01:54,300 Oh. 42 00:01:59,884 --> 00:02:01,882 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 43 00:02:17,884 --> 00:02:19,629 - Puppet. - Cool, for your kids? 44 00:02:19,853 --> 00:02:21,616 Yeah. It's weird being away from them. 45 00:02:21,634 --> 00:02:22,716 Never done this before. 46 00:02:22,751 --> 00:02:25,217 Attention, Dunder Mifflin Group. 47 00:02:25,251 --> 00:02:26,917 Proceed outside. 48 00:02:26,951 --> 00:02:29,917 The vehicle is waiting. Seats have been assigned. 49 00:02:29,951 --> 00:02:31,516 Shotgun goes to Ryan. 50 00:02:31,551 --> 00:02:33,883 Congratulations, Ryan. 51 00:02:35,968 --> 00:02:38,516 I need to make Nellie see me as a leader today. 52 00:02:38,551 --> 00:02:41,000 First impressions get locked in forever. 53 00:02:41,051 --> 00:02:42,666 When I first met Pam, she said something 54 00:02:42,717 --> 00:02:44,666 that slightly rubbed me the wrong way. 55 00:02:44,717 --> 00:02:46,483 Since then I've loved working with Pam, 56 00:02:46,517 --> 00:02:48,450 and she's frankly wonderful, 57 00:02:48,484 --> 00:02:51,050 but I hate her. 58 00:02:51,084 --> 00:02:52,883 I'll have a bottle of the antacid. 59 00:02:52,918 --> 00:02:54,816 Also, I want to get a souvenir for my son, 60 00:02:54,851 --> 00:02:56,583 but his mother doesn't acknowledge my paternity. 61 00:02:56,617 --> 00:02:57,850 Do you have anything for that? 62 00:02:57,884 --> 00:02:59,550 Also, I want it to have a Florida feel. 63 00:02:59,584 --> 00:03:03,284 - What does he like? - Power. 64 00:03:03,318 --> 00:03:05,666 Okay, and this one is, 65 00:03:05,717 --> 00:03:08,000 "Huh, don't see too many museums around here." 66 00:03:08,051 --> 00:03:10,883 Okay, Twiggy, that's enough. Get in the car. 67 00:03:10,918 --> 00:03:12,083 Hey, are you okay? 68 00:03:12,117 --> 00:03:14,633 I'm fine, okay? It's just stress. 69 00:03:14,667 --> 00:03:16,833 You know, 'cause I care about this project. 70 00:03:16,884 --> 00:03:18,217 And frankly, the fact that none of you 71 00:03:18,251 --> 00:03:20,883 are vomiting or diarrheal right now I find very alarming. 72 00:03:20,918 --> 00:03:23,217 Who says none of us are diarrheal? 73 00:03:24,968 --> 00:03:27,816 Are you sure it's stress? Because I did poison you. 74 00:03:27,851 --> 00:03:29,384 Very funny, Jim. 75 00:03:29,418 --> 00:03:30,616 Oh, no, I'm serious. I was thinking, 76 00:03:30,634 --> 00:03:32,217 "For this trip I have to do something epic, 77 00:03:32,251 --> 00:03:34,283 so what should that be?" And then I thought of it. 78 00:03:34,301 --> 00:03:35,284 I'll poison you. 79 00:03:35,318 --> 00:03:36,283 What are you gonna do? 80 00:03:36,301 --> 00:03:37,483 You gonna steal my newspaper, 81 00:03:37,517 --> 00:03:38,883 or put a cricket in my cereal, or something? 82 00:03:38,918 --> 00:03:40,800 I'm gonna set your face on fire. 83 00:03:40,834 --> 00:03:44,516 That's a good one. 84 00:03:44,551 --> 00:03:45,917 Whoa, Stanley. 85 00:03:45,951 --> 00:03:48,116 Did you just come back from burning down a rival nightclub? 86 00:03:48,134 --> 00:03:49,384 Laugh it up, Halpert. 87 00:03:49,417 --> 00:03:51,416 I'm in Florida for a month without my family. 88 00:03:51,450 --> 00:03:53,483 I'm gonna enjoy this. 89 00:03:53,517 --> 00:03:55,783 Want to get in? You can work the iPod. 90 00:03:55,817 --> 00:03:57,883 Yes. 91 00:03:57,918 --> 00:03:59,833 Ah. You're a nice guy, Jim, 92 00:03:59,884 --> 00:04:01,950 but have no idea how to vacation. 93 00:04:01,968 --> 00:04:03,250 Find some Kenny Loggins. 94 00:04:03,285 --> 00:04:04,334 Loggins and Messina. 95 00:04:04,385 --> 00:04:06,816 Did I say "Messina?" 96 00:04:09,951 --> 00:04:11,017 Ahh! 97 00:04:11,051 --> 00:04:12,800 Sorry, I couldn't resist. 98 00:04:12,834 --> 00:04:13,833 It's so quiet. 99 00:04:13,884 --> 00:04:15,449 I like it. It's so peaceful, 100 00:04:15,467 --> 00:04:17,950 I've already written, like, 12 plays today. 101 00:04:17,968 --> 00:04:22,300 It's so quiet, one might say, you could hear a pin... 102 00:04:25,467 --> 00:04:27,000 I thought that would be cooler. 103 00:04:27,051 --> 00:04:28,449 I loved it. 104 00:04:28,467 --> 00:04:29,783 Hey, can you pick up the pin? 105 00:04:29,801 --> 00:04:31,116 Some of us like to work in our bare feet. 106 00:04:31,134 --> 00:04:33,716 Of course, I will pick up the pin. 107 00:04:33,751 --> 00:04:36,383 It is right here. 108 00:04:37,918 --> 00:04:38,967 Got it. 109 00:04:39,001 --> 00:04:40,317 Can we see that? Did you really find it? 110 00:04:40,350 --> 00:04:42,116 Yes, right here. Got it. 111 00:04:42,134 --> 00:04:44,466 Dink, ow. 112 00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:45,800 In the trash. 113 00:04:45,834 --> 00:04:47,716 Hey, why is it so quiet? 114 00:04:47,751 --> 00:04:50,950 Shouldn't the phone be ringing? 115 00:04:50,984 --> 00:04:53,716 Uh-oh. Erin set the phone to voicemail. 116 00:04:53,751 --> 00:04:55,000 Oh, great. 117 00:04:55,051 --> 00:04:56,000 We're screwed. 118 00:04:56,051 --> 00:04:57,666 There. 119 00:04:58,717 --> 00:05:00,317 Oh! There we go. Pam? 120 00:05:00,350 --> 00:05:01,666 Yeah? 121 00:05:01,717 --> 00:05:03,449 Can you get the phone? 122 00:05:03,484 --> 00:05:04,616 Well, I'm not the receptionist. 123 00:05:04,651 --> 00:05:06,449 Mm, well, you used to be. 124 00:05:06,467 --> 00:05:09,050 I know, but I can't cover reception. 125 00:05:09,084 --> 00:05:10,883 I have a lot of work to do. 126 00:05:10,918 --> 00:05:12,783 Phone's ringing. 127 00:05:13,918 --> 00:05:15,217 Will one of you get the phone? 128 00:05:15,251 --> 00:05:17,616 I am freaking out. I know it's for me. 129 00:05:22,717 --> 00:05:23,883 Are you guys kidding me? 130 00:05:23,918 --> 00:05:25,716 Stop flirting and someone get the phone! 131 00:05:25,751 --> 00:05:27,167 Answer the phone. 132 00:05:27,218 --> 00:05:30,116 - Andy, pick up the phone! - Get the damn phone! 133 00:05:30,134 --> 00:05:31,116 You're the closest one to it. 134 00:05:31,134 --> 00:05:32,333 Fine. 135 00:05:32,384 --> 00:05:34,449 Hello, Dunder Mifflin. 136 00:05:34,467 --> 00:05:36,116 Hello, you've reached Dunder Mifflin. 137 00:05:36,134 --> 00:05:37,133 How may I be of service? 138 00:05:37,168 --> 00:05:38,800 Man. 139 00:05:38,834 --> 00:05:40,550 - How was the drive? - Fantastic. 140 00:05:40,584 --> 00:05:41,917 Stanley drives so fast. 141 00:05:41,951 --> 00:05:44,666 Life is short. "Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse." 142 00:05:44,717 --> 00:05:46,950 That's one of my mottos. 143 00:05:46,968 --> 00:05:49,416 I would love to hear the other mottos. 144 00:05:50,417 --> 00:05:52,750 - Quick query, Halpert. - No way. 145 00:05:52,784 --> 00:05:55,783 - Still queer? - Packer. 146 00:05:55,817 --> 00:05:57,816 You can't put me down. 147 00:05:57,851 --> 00:05:59,623 Too strong. 148 00:06:00,058 --> 00:06:03,083 Yeah, Dwight and Jim tried to get me fired, 149 00:06:03,118 --> 00:06:05,716 but I landed on my feet down here in Florida. 150 00:06:05,751 --> 00:06:08,150 You see, this cat's got nine lives, 151 00:06:08,185 --> 00:06:09,416 and a nine-inch— 152 00:06:09,450 --> 00:06:10,666 Psst. 153 00:06:10,717 --> 00:06:14,217 Say, "So who's leading this thing, anyway?" 154 00:06:14,251 --> 00:06:18,316 So who's leading this thing, anyway? 155 00:06:18,350 --> 00:06:22,299 Psst. Say, "I can't wait to meet him." 156 00:06:22,334 --> 00:06:24,116 I can't wait to meet him. 157 00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:27,499 Him, you say? 158 00:06:27,551 --> 00:06:29,449 Don't think a woman can be a leader? 159 00:06:30,467 --> 00:06:31,449 I— 160 00:06:31,467 --> 00:06:34,133 You poor, simple boy. 161 00:06:34,168 --> 00:06:35,716 Expected a man, did you? 162 00:06:35,751 --> 00:06:39,833 Strong, powerful, huge, whopping penis? 163 00:06:39,884 --> 00:06:41,783 Well, sorry to disappoint, 164 00:06:41,817 --> 00:06:45,117 but my huge, whopping penis is right here, 165 00:06:45,151 --> 00:06:47,133 and I'm not afraid to use it. 166 00:06:47,168 --> 00:06:52,883 So stop looking at my breasts, and start looking at my penis. 167 00:06:55,300 --> 00:06:59,184 I'm Nellie Bertram, president of Special Projects. 168 00:06:59,217 --> 00:07:01,050 In the next few weeks we're going to throw 169 00:07:01,084 --> 00:07:03,850 everything you know about business out of the window, 170 00:07:03,884 --> 00:07:05,383 and do it our own way. 171 00:07:05,417 --> 00:07:07,449 Are your minds blown? 172 00:07:07,467 --> 00:07:10,967 So, how did this special project come about anyway? 173 00:07:11,001 --> 00:07:17,583 Well, I interviewed to be the manager of your branch, 174 00:07:17,617 --> 00:07:21,299 after you decided I wasn't "a good fit." 175 00:07:21,334 --> 00:07:23,633 - It was— - Ah. Mm-mmm. 176 00:07:23,667 --> 00:07:24,666 It was. 177 00:07:24,717 --> 00:07:26,416 I went on a shopping spree. 178 00:07:26,450 --> 00:07:28,833 Very destructive, I bought 13 pianos. 179 00:07:28,884 --> 00:07:32,117 Then I realized, what if Sabre had a store? 180 00:07:32,151 --> 00:07:33,333 Hmm? 181 00:07:33,384 --> 00:07:36,449 So I called Jo, old friend, founder of Sabre, 182 00:07:36,484 --> 00:07:38,750 and I told her, and she grabbed me by the shoulders, 183 00:07:38,784 --> 00:07:40,216 and she said, "Yes!" 184 00:07:40,250 --> 00:07:42,716 So let's talk about this Sabre store then. 185 00:07:42,751 --> 00:07:45,683 Probably gonna look stupid, right? 186 00:07:45,717 --> 00:07:48,316 Like a big turd with a door on the front, right? 187 00:07:48,350 --> 00:07:49,967 What do you think it should look like? 188 00:07:50,001 --> 00:07:51,282 Um, it might be fun 189 00:07:51,300 --> 00:07:53,117 if each store had a different theme, 190 00:07:53,151 --> 00:07:55,466 like a beach one, a winter one, a jungle one. 191 00:07:55,500 --> 00:07:57,550 No, not a big fan of the winter aesthetic. 192 00:07:57,584 --> 00:07:59,117 Well, that was just one idea. It doesn't have to be winter. 193 00:07:59,150 --> 00:08:00,783 Oh, no, it does. 194 00:08:00,801 --> 00:08:02,950 It does, it has to be winter, 195 00:08:02,968 --> 00:08:04,050 and I reject it. 196 00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:07,750 So I drew up a design concept. 197 00:08:07,784 --> 00:08:09,249 Probably gonna be rubbish, right? 198 00:08:10,384 --> 00:08:11,616 Would you like to look at it? 199 00:08:11,651 --> 00:08:13,833 - Just so you could laugh at it. - Yeah. 200 00:08:13,884 --> 00:08:15,183 Let me just get the projector working. 201 00:08:16,584 --> 00:08:17,983 You got to stop with the antacids. 202 00:08:18,018 --> 00:08:19,483 It's not the antidote. 203 00:08:19,517 --> 00:08:21,299 You didn't poison me, it's just stress. 204 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,050 Okay. 205 00:08:23,084 --> 00:08:24,117 What is the antidote? 206 00:08:24,150 --> 00:08:25,249 True love's kiss. 207 00:08:25,283 --> 00:08:27,183 Jim, help me lower this screen. 208 00:08:27,217 --> 00:08:28,783 You're a big, tall man. 209 00:08:28,801 --> 00:08:31,249 You'd be hilarious trying to do it, 210 00:08:31,283 --> 00:08:32,466 like a little boy. 211 00:08:32,500 --> 00:08:34,299 Just let go of his balloon. 212 00:08:34,334 --> 00:08:36,716 I'll do it. 213 00:08:36,751 --> 00:08:38,783 I always say, "You want something done right? 214 00:08:38,801 --> 00:08:40,183 Ask Dwight." 215 00:08:40,217 --> 00:08:41,550 Right? Dwight. 216 00:08:41,584 --> 00:08:43,716 Right? Dwight. Right Dwight, right Dwight. 217 00:08:43,751 --> 00:08:46,333 Sorry, now you'll never be able to get that out of your head. 218 00:08:48,467 --> 00:08:49,449 Ah. 219 00:08:49,484 --> 00:08:51,249 - I can do it. - Mmm! 220 00:08:55,884 --> 00:08:58,883 There we go. 221 00:09:02,617 --> 00:09:05,816 Yes, a complete inability to pass gas, pervert. 222 00:09:05,851 --> 00:09:07,282 Ugh, yeah, it's tender. 223 00:09:07,300 --> 00:09:10,449 It can't be appendicitis, I eat more than enough bacon. 224 00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:13,783 Okay, what poison mimics the symptoms of appendicitis? 225 00:09:13,801 --> 00:09:15,499 Oh, you don't know. Hold on. 226 00:09:21,918 --> 00:09:24,249 What kind of poison did you use? 227 00:09:24,283 --> 00:09:27,416 Dwight, I didn't poison you. I was kidding. 228 00:09:30,634 --> 00:09:32,166 Yeah, I'm gonna need an ambulance. 229 00:09:34,001 --> 00:09:38,282 Hold on, I have the address in my phone. Hold on. 230 00:09:38,300 --> 00:09:40,149 Hold on one second. 231 00:09:40,184 --> 00:09:41,950 Uh, quick question. 232 00:09:41,968 --> 00:09:44,466 Vice president, uh, who is that? 233 00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:46,416 - There's no name listed. - Is there not? 234 00:09:46,450 --> 00:09:49,783 Maybe I'm just waiting for someone to wow me. 235 00:09:52,784 --> 00:09:55,983 Sir? Sir, where should we send the ambulance? 236 00:09:56,018 --> 00:09:58,249 Send it to the frickin' moon, idiot. 237 00:10:00,095 --> 00:10:02,587 I tell you what. Since I moved down to Florida, 238 00:10:02,989 --> 00:10:05,204 I've really gotten back into hunting big time. 239 00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:07,955 Hunting's so primal. Almost sexual. 240 00:10:07,989 --> 00:10:09,237 Totally. 241 00:10:09,288 --> 00:10:11,070 I mean, I'd never bang an animal, 242 00:10:11,121 --> 00:10:12,120 you can hardly tell the difference 243 00:10:12,155 --> 00:10:13,454 between a boy or a girl, you know, 244 00:10:13,488 --> 00:10:14,854 but hunting's intense. 245 00:10:14,889 --> 00:10:16,237 You talking about hunting? 246 00:10:16,288 --> 00:10:18,654 I love hunting. I'm a master hunter. 247 00:10:18,688 --> 00:10:19,788 Did you say, "masturbator?" 248 00:10:19,822 --> 00:10:20,955 I'm a decent baiter. 249 00:10:20,989 --> 00:10:22,788 My cousin, Mose, that's a master baiter. 250 00:10:22,822 --> 00:10:24,921 Why are you sitting down like that? 251 00:10:24,956 --> 00:10:26,888 Why is everyone else standing up? 252 00:10:26,922 --> 00:10:28,821 Okay, team, let's get back to work! 253 00:10:28,855 --> 00:10:30,854 Break's over! 254 00:10:30,889 --> 00:10:34,237 Wow. Are that bored? 255 00:10:34,272 --> 00:10:37,254 It's just rum. I'm not bored, I'm a pirate. 256 00:10:37,288 --> 00:10:38,520 Is that another motto? 257 00:10:38,538 --> 00:10:40,854 It's whatever you want. 258 00:10:40,889 --> 00:10:42,020 Mmm. 259 00:10:42,038 --> 00:10:43,921 Or do you only drink with your kids? 260 00:10:43,956 --> 00:10:45,070 Ah, let's do it. 261 00:10:45,121 --> 00:10:46,354 Oh, that's healthy. 262 00:10:46,372 --> 00:10:48,821 I've spent so much of my life telling myself, 263 00:10:48,855 --> 00:10:52,487 "Please, don't end up like Stanley," 264 00:10:52,522 --> 00:10:57,054 and now I'm wondering if I even have what it takes. 265 00:10:57,088 --> 00:11:00,854 We have the Sabre pyramid, right? 266 00:11:00,889 --> 00:11:04,187 Hmm? We've got a bunch of humans, you guys, 267 00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:06,404 humans... pyramid. 268 00:11:06,455 --> 00:11:08,738 Human pyramid. Do you follow? 269 00:11:08,789 --> 00:11:11,688 It's a team-building exercise. 270 00:11:11,722 --> 00:11:13,738 You'll love it. Who's in? Hmm? 271 00:11:13,789 --> 00:11:14,738 - Yup. - Yeah. 272 00:11:14,789 --> 00:11:16,120 Tallahassee, let's go. 273 00:11:16,155 --> 00:11:17,204 Jim, are you in? 274 00:11:17,238 --> 00:11:18,237 Oh, I don't know. 275 00:11:18,288 --> 00:11:20,354 Sounds like a hoot. I'm in. 276 00:11:20,372 --> 00:11:23,254 All right, what the heck? Let's do it. 277 00:11:23,288 --> 00:11:25,571 This is great. This is gonna be great. 278 00:11:25,622 --> 00:11:27,987 I feel like I'm in ancient Egypt. 279 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:29,487 I'll be on top. 280 00:11:29,521 --> 00:11:30,520 It's the most important position. 281 00:11:30,538 --> 00:11:32,037 Dude, I think you have appendicitis. 282 00:11:32,071 --> 00:11:33,354 Ahh! 283 00:11:33,372 --> 00:11:34,520 - Dwight? - Dwight, why don't we just 284 00:11:34,538 --> 00:11:36,687 hold off with the human pyramids for a while? 285 00:11:36,705 --> 00:11:38,888 Everyone stop moving! Everyone stop wiggling! 286 00:11:38,922 --> 00:11:40,287 Oh, I feel like I'm gonna vomit! 287 00:11:40,322 --> 00:11:41,588 Dude, don't you yak on me. 288 00:11:41,622 --> 00:11:42,738 This shirt is Van Heusen. 289 00:11:42,789 --> 00:11:43,871 Stop moving! 290 00:11:43,906 --> 00:11:45,020 No one's moving. 291 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:46,621 Ohh! 292 00:11:47,688 --> 00:11:50,187 Oh, oh! 293 00:11:50,205 --> 00:11:52,204 Arrest Jim. He poisoned me. 294 00:11:52,238 --> 00:11:55,020 Wha—no. No, it was not a poisoning. 295 00:11:55,038 --> 00:11:57,120 The one thing Pam made sure I knew, 296 00:11:57,155 --> 00:11:59,554 Florida's pretty loose with the death penalty. 297 00:11:59,589 --> 00:12:01,354 You need an operation. You have appendicitis. 298 00:12:01,372 --> 00:12:02,687 Oh! Who called it? 299 00:12:02,705 --> 00:12:04,070 Nothing but net. 300 00:12:04,121 --> 00:12:05,371 How long will he be gone? 301 00:12:05,405 --> 00:12:06,904 Two or three days. 302 00:12:06,955 --> 00:12:08,987 Don't remember me like this. 303 00:12:09,021 --> 00:12:11,371 Remember me as the man who pulled down the screen. 304 00:12:11,405 --> 00:12:14,404 Drama queen, am I right? 305 00:12:15,905 --> 00:12:18,204 Philip, if you're hearing this memo, 306 00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:21,237 that can only mean one thing, I'm dead. 307 00:12:21,288 --> 00:12:23,571 You are the rightful heir to Shrute Farms. 308 00:12:23,622 --> 00:12:26,154 Please, you must do one thing. 309 00:12:26,188 --> 00:12:30,754 Kill Mose before he kills you. 310 00:12:32,405 --> 00:12:34,571 Mose, hey, it's Dwight. 311 00:12:34,622 --> 00:12:36,204 Listen, yeah, I just want to give you a heads-up. 312 00:12:36,238 --> 00:12:38,020 That was an interesting diversion. 313 00:12:38,038 --> 00:12:40,454 Shall we get back to the meeting? 314 00:12:40,488 --> 00:12:42,120 Whoa, are those mini pizzas? 315 00:12:42,155 --> 00:12:44,037 Yeah, I figured we'd keep things savory 316 00:12:44,071 --> 00:12:46,421 while Oscar's mouth is in canker country. 317 00:12:46,455 --> 00:12:48,904 I also have some bacon-wrapped dates on deck. 318 00:12:48,955 --> 00:12:51,487 Look at these little mini pizzas. 319 00:12:51,521 --> 00:12:53,154 Does this make me look huge? 320 00:12:54,238 --> 00:12:57,354 Hey, guys, look at me, I'm huge. 321 00:12:57,372 --> 00:12:58,688 Hey, Darryl, 322 00:12:58,722 --> 00:13:00,371 good news, your fax went through. 323 00:13:00,405 --> 00:13:03,321 Oh, yeah. 324 00:13:03,355 --> 00:13:04,404 - Up high. - Yes, sir. Thanks. 325 00:13:05,755 --> 00:13:07,221 Dunder Mifflin, this is Andy. 326 00:13:07,255 --> 00:13:08,237 I put out some new magazines. 327 00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:09,321 Check it out. 328 00:13:09,355 --> 00:13:12,404 A dwell. 329 00:13:14,405 --> 00:13:16,237 I'm acting like I like reception, 330 00:13:16,288 --> 00:13:17,687 and I'm a really good actor, 331 00:13:17,705 --> 00:13:21,154 so people are actually buying that I actually like reception, 332 00:13:21,188 --> 00:13:23,487 but I mean, seriously, reception sucks. 333 00:13:23,522 --> 00:13:26,321 Oh, there's the phone. 334 00:13:28,388 --> 00:13:30,788 What's going on? Fill me in. 335 00:13:30,821 --> 00:13:32,221 Well, we broke into groups, 336 00:13:32,255 --> 00:13:33,904 and the groups are giving presentations later. 337 00:13:33,955 --> 00:13:35,788 Who's doing the presentations? 338 00:13:35,821 --> 00:13:38,204 Packer's giving one. 339 00:13:38,238 --> 00:13:39,254 Jim will probably give ours, I guess. 340 00:13:39,288 --> 00:13:41,404 Damn it! 341 00:13:41,455 --> 00:13:43,487 Let's see, what else have you missed? 342 00:13:43,522 --> 00:13:45,688 Ryan switched his name tag to his pants, 343 00:13:45,722 --> 00:13:47,654 so now it's like, if you wear yours on your shirt, 344 00:13:47,689 --> 00:13:51,070 you're a total dick, but if you switch, you're a copycat. 345 00:13:51,121 --> 00:13:53,820 But I think I figured out a solution. 346 00:13:53,854 --> 00:13:55,454 What else? 347 00:13:55,488 --> 00:13:57,554 My shoes are gonna— 348 00:13:57,589 --> 00:13:58,987 Features a tech support area. 349 00:13:59,021 --> 00:14:01,070 Bring in your product, a bunch of nerdy virgins 350 00:14:01,121 --> 00:14:02,321 fix it on the spot. 351 00:14:02,355 --> 00:14:04,070 Huge for building loyalty. 352 00:14:04,121 --> 00:14:05,870 Yes, that is a very good point. 353 00:14:05,905 --> 00:14:07,870 Yeah, Todd, decent idea. 354 00:14:07,905 --> 00:14:10,321 Obvious, but interesting. 355 00:14:10,355 --> 00:14:12,204 Dwight, are you all right? 356 00:14:12,238 --> 00:14:14,704 I'm great. How are you? 357 00:14:14,739 --> 00:14:18,204 Mmm. 358 00:14:18,238 --> 00:14:21,237 Uh. 359 00:14:21,288 --> 00:14:22,687 What's our presentation about? 360 00:14:22,705 --> 00:14:24,321 Dwight, will you go back to the hospital? 361 00:14:24,355 --> 00:14:25,704 You were there for like three hours. 362 00:14:25,739 --> 00:14:27,421 I got the surgery, what else is there to do? 363 00:14:27,455 --> 00:14:28,853 Do 100 jumping Jacks. 364 00:14:28,871 --> 00:14:30,621 No, I don't feel like it. You do 100 jumping Jacks. 365 00:14:30,655 --> 00:14:31,987 I don't feel like it, either. 366 00:14:32,021 --> 00:14:34,721 97, 98, 99— 367 00:14:34,754 --> 00:14:36,287 I want that vice presidency. 368 00:14:36,322 --> 00:14:37,520 You haven't done any of the research. 369 00:14:37,538 --> 00:14:39,154 "You're too slow, you're too small, 370 00:14:39,188 --> 00:14:40,454 Seabiscuit is a stupid name." 371 00:14:40,488 --> 00:14:42,287 You guys sound just like the enemies of Seabiscuit. 372 00:14:42,322 --> 00:14:46,354 - I'm going to do it. - Aw, let him do it. 373 00:14:46,388 --> 00:14:48,037 Stanley, are you listening to music? 374 00:14:48,071 --> 00:14:49,820 Yup. 375 00:14:49,854 --> 00:14:53,037 All right, who's ready for the next presentation? 376 00:14:53,071 --> 00:14:55,704 Ah, what is your topic? 377 00:14:55,738 --> 00:14:58,820 What is our topic? Oh, what a topic it is. 378 00:14:58,854 --> 00:15:00,404 Retail consumer habits. 379 00:15:00,455 --> 00:15:02,521 Really? Okay. 380 00:15:02,555 --> 00:15:05,820 Retail consumer habits is... 381 00:15:07,821 --> 00:15:09,787 The only thing you need to know about retail consumer habits 382 00:15:09,821 --> 00:15:12,737 is that consumers are mindless lemmings. 383 00:15:12,788 --> 00:15:17,120 They just want to be told what to do. 384 00:15:17,155 --> 00:15:18,787 Fast-forward to today, 385 00:15:18,821 --> 00:15:21,954 and the retail consumer is independent, 386 00:15:21,988 --> 00:15:25,487 well-informed, super-smart. 387 00:15:25,521 --> 00:15:27,920 Super-smart. Okay. 388 00:15:30,704 --> 00:15:31,950 Shopping habits 389 00:15:32,070 --> 00:15:34,183 are both seasonal and cyclical. 390 00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:35,803 What does this mean? 391 00:15:35,895 --> 00:15:37,928 - I can field this one. - No, sit down. 392 00:15:37,962 --> 00:15:41,128 "Seasonal." Well, the Christmas shopping season 393 00:15:41,162 --> 00:15:44,711 is certainly a busy one, back-to-school is, as well, 394 00:15:44,745 --> 00:15:46,628 and in early summer, it seems to slow down a bit, 395 00:15:46,663 --> 00:15:49,228 but shopping is also cyclical. 396 00:15:49,262 --> 00:15:53,411 The menstrual cycle determines every choice a woman makes. 397 00:15:53,462 --> 00:15:55,595 You see, during ovulation, 398 00:15:55,629 --> 00:15:58,928 a woman's only goal is to get pregnant, 399 00:15:58,962 --> 00:16:02,461 and during menses, she is sad that she has failed, 400 00:16:02,496 --> 00:16:05,094 and how does the woman console herself? 401 00:16:05,129 --> 00:16:07,894 Shopping. Shopping. 402 00:16:07,929 --> 00:16:09,261 Just— 403 00:16:09,296 --> 00:16:12,711 Jim, could you fetch me some ice chips? 404 00:16:12,745 --> 00:16:14,661 Thank you. Just gonna... 405 00:16:14,695 --> 00:16:17,628 Take a... brief pause at this point. 406 00:16:17,662 --> 00:16:20,495 Thank you. 407 00:16:20,529 --> 00:16:23,194 Oh, God. 408 00:16:25,412 --> 00:16:28,461 Next slide. 409 00:16:28,496 --> 00:16:30,711 Mail call! 410 00:16:43,529 --> 00:16:44,961 Yogurt. 411 00:16:44,995 --> 00:16:47,578 Are those the lyrics? 412 00:16:47,628 --> 00:16:49,545 "Anderson's Three Pillars of Retail." 413 00:16:49,579 --> 00:16:54,028 Crucial. So important. 414 00:16:54,062 --> 00:16:56,245 Next. 415 00:16:56,296 --> 00:16:58,128 Are there any questions? 416 00:16:58,162 --> 00:17:01,161 What are the three pillars of retail? 417 00:17:03,596 --> 00:17:04,727 Convenience. 418 00:17:04,762 --> 00:17:05,894 Ingredients. 419 00:17:05,929 --> 00:17:06,894 Service. 420 00:17:06,929 --> 00:17:07,928 Burgers. 421 00:17:07,962 --> 00:17:09,094 Building loyalty. 422 00:17:09,129 --> 00:17:10,928 Killing royalty. 423 00:17:10,962 --> 00:17:13,411 The truth be told, we should really disregard 424 00:17:13,462 --> 00:17:14,694 Anderson's three pillars. 425 00:17:14,712 --> 00:17:17,261 He was later diagnosed with dementia. 426 00:17:17,296 --> 00:17:20,195 You know what is important? 427 00:17:20,229 --> 00:17:23,711 Is Dwight's pillars, and there is only one: 428 00:17:23,745 --> 00:17:25,044 desire. 429 00:17:25,079 --> 00:17:28,545 Do we have a desire to dominate the retail space? 430 00:17:28,579 --> 00:17:30,861 Not just succeed in it, but to dominate, 431 00:17:30,879 --> 00:17:33,228 and looking around this room, I'm not so sure that we do, 432 00:17:33,262 --> 00:17:36,211 but we can get there, and I can lead us there, 433 00:17:36,246 --> 00:17:38,495 and that is all that matters. 434 00:17:38,529 --> 00:17:39,761 Very true. 435 00:17:39,795 --> 00:17:41,161 Where there's a will, there's a way. 436 00:17:41,195 --> 00:17:45,911 I once spent a passionate night with Hugh Grant's brother, 437 00:17:45,962 --> 00:17:48,395 John grant. He's older than Hugh, 438 00:17:48,429 --> 00:17:50,128 just a little bit uglier. 439 00:17:50,162 --> 00:17:51,694 How did I pull that off? 440 00:17:51,728 --> 00:17:53,295 Sheer force of will. 441 00:17:53,329 --> 00:17:55,395 That is very good, Dwight. 442 00:17:55,429 --> 00:17:58,211 Thank you very much. Any other questions? 443 00:17:58,246 --> 00:17:59,694 Jim. 444 00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:02,878 You are bleeding through your shirt. 445 00:18:02,912 --> 00:18:05,211 Oops. 446 00:18:05,246 --> 00:18:07,128 That's embarrassing. 447 00:18:07,162 --> 00:18:10,361 Egg on my face. 448 00:18:10,379 --> 00:18:12,528 Ah. 449 00:18:12,545 --> 00:18:15,528 Hey, having fun? 450 00:18:15,545 --> 00:18:17,627 Yes, I am, as a matter of fact. 451 00:18:17,662 --> 00:18:20,361 Well, I know how it is. I know it's a lot of fun. 452 00:18:20,396 --> 00:18:21,761 I don't know how it is. 453 00:18:21,795 --> 00:18:24,994 Andy, this is a lame job. What are you doing here? 454 00:18:25,028 --> 00:18:26,461 I found my calling. 455 00:18:26,496 --> 00:18:28,527 Andy, when I was 12 years old, 456 00:18:28,562 --> 00:18:32,428 we did a field trip, a lock-in at the zoo. 457 00:18:32,462 --> 00:18:36,461 I met this girl, I thought she was so perfect. 458 00:18:36,496 --> 00:18:37,828 I was in love with her, 459 00:18:37,862 --> 00:18:40,994 but when the sun came up, I knew it wasn't real, 460 00:18:41,029 --> 00:18:44,928 'cause she was ugly, and I had grown tired of her. 461 00:18:44,962 --> 00:18:46,561 I know you want reception today, 462 00:18:46,595 --> 00:18:48,261 but tomorrow you won't want to do her. 463 00:18:48,296 --> 00:18:50,495 She's a dog. 464 00:18:50,528 --> 00:18:53,861 Guys, I don't like this analogy. 465 00:18:53,895 --> 00:18:55,411 Ohh! 466 00:18:55,462 --> 00:18:58,261 Fine. 467 00:19:02,329 --> 00:19:03,761 Did you see this? 468 00:19:03,795 --> 00:19:06,044 - It's nice. - I mean... 469 00:19:08,412 --> 00:19:11,295 - How are you feeling? - Amazing. 470 00:19:11,329 --> 00:19:13,027 Just lost four ounces of appendix, 471 00:19:13,045 --> 00:19:14,961 already replaced it with muscle. 472 00:19:14,995 --> 00:19:17,761 Can I see the wound? 473 00:19:22,429 --> 00:19:24,078 - Oh, God. - Oh! That's disgusting! 474 00:19:24,129 --> 00:19:25,961 That's barely healed. 475 00:19:25,995 --> 00:19:29,128 You're not paying me to heal, you're paying me to kick ass. 476 00:19:29,162 --> 00:19:33,794 A few hours ago, your body was open like a cabinet. 477 00:19:33,829 --> 00:19:36,161 - That's right. - That is amazing. 478 00:19:36,196 --> 00:19:38,994 - Todd, look at that. - Oh, yikes. 479 00:19:39,028 --> 00:19:41,211 - Incom— - Ah! Not so fast. 480 00:19:41,246 --> 00:19:42,994 Would you come in early tomorrow, 481 00:19:43,028 --> 00:19:45,128 so we can talk about the store over breakfast? 482 00:19:45,162 --> 00:19:48,194 I feel you have a lot to offer. 483 00:19:48,212 --> 00:19:49,661 It would be an honor, ma'am. 484 00:19:49,695 --> 00:19:52,527 I'll go ahead and cancel my post-op check-up right now. 485 00:19:52,562 --> 00:19:54,395 I had two goals today. 486 00:19:54,429 --> 00:19:55,561 The first was to make myself 487 00:19:55,595 --> 00:19:57,627 the clear candidate for vice president. 488 00:19:57,662 --> 00:20:00,494 I achieved that, no thanks to my appendix. 489 00:20:00,528 --> 00:20:03,361 The second was to find a memorable souvenir for Philip. 490 00:20:03,396 --> 00:20:07,794 For that, I do have to thank my appendix. 491 00:20:17,862 --> 00:20:19,761 Dunder Mifflin, how can I help you save money on paper? 492 00:20:19,795 --> 00:20:20,828 This is Andrew. 493 00:20:20,862 --> 00:20:23,161 Hi, Andrew. What happened to Erin? 494 00:20:23,195 --> 00:20:25,194 Oh, she's on an assignment in Florida 495 00:20:25,212 --> 00:20:27,128 - for a couple of weeks. - Oh, good for her. 496 00:20:27,162 --> 00:20:28,427 She's such a sweetheart. 497 00:20:28,461 --> 00:20:30,395 You tell her Donna Muraski misses her. 498 00:20:30,428 --> 00:20:33,427 Yeah, we all kind of miss her. 499 00:20:35,864 --> 00:20:37,863 Everyone, we have a very special guest. 500 00:20:37,897 --> 00:20:42,552 He turned an idea into a store, into hundreds of stores. 501 00:20:42,672 --> 00:20:46,405 I give you Wally Amos, founder of famous Amos Cookies. 502 00:20:46,525 --> 00:20:47,063 Yeah! 503 00:20:47,098 --> 00:20:48,596 Ah. 504 00:20:48,630 --> 00:20:51,392 Aloha, aloha, aloha. 505 00:20:51,512 --> 00:20:52,762 So I hear you're all 506 00:20:52,796 --> 00:20:55,595 looking to bake up some dough in the sales game? 507 00:20:55,629 --> 00:20:57,392 Well, back when I was 508 00:20:57,615 --> 00:20:59,825 - a regular Amos... - What's under the cloth? 509 00:20:59,945 --> 00:21:01,220 We'll get to that. 510 00:21:03,255 --> 00:21:04,158 It's cookies. 511 00:21:04,740 --> 00:21:07,350 Let me... Let me finish my speech first. 512 00:21:13,970 --> 00:21:16,322 Okay, yes. 513 00:21:18,101 --> 00:21:22,032 Amos. Hi. I'm sure you get ideas for your cookies all the time. 514 00:21:22,152 --> 00:21:25,590 - But... - Is it oatmeal with no rasins? 515 00:21:25,710 --> 00:21:28,316 I'm sorry, I was wasting your time.