1
00:00:01,288 --> 00:00:05,040
Today is the test paunch day
for the inaugural Sabre store.

2
00:00:06,459 --> 00:00:10,504
And I, Dwight Schrute, am in
charge of the entire operation.

3
00:00:10,797 --> 00:00:13,591
If I can prove myself today and the
store is a hit with the media,

4
00:00:13,675 --> 00:00:17,469
and Nellie sees this,
the vice presidency is mine

5
00:00:17,554 --> 00:00:18,721
Hey, are you
holding this chair?

6
00:00:18,805 --> 00:00:20,180
Because I feel like
I'm going to fall off

7
00:00:20,265 --> 00:00:21,891
Yeah. Yes. Yes I'm not wearing
the right shoes for this

8
00:00:21,975 --> 00:00:23,058
We went
over this, okay?

9
00:00:23,143 --> 00:00:24,602
Your tiny fingers
make the best knots

10
00:00:24,978 --> 00:00:28,147
Hey, strangers. I'm so stoked
for the Sabre store opening

11
00:00:32,193 --> 00:00:35,195
Hey, my name's Tabitha I'm camped
out in front of the Sabre store

12
00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:37,656
so I can be first in line
for the new Pyramid.

13
00:00:38,408 --> 00:00:39,450
Psst

14
00:00:39,534 --> 00:00:42,411
It's me, Erin. Dwight had
me pretend to be a hipster

15
00:00:42,495 --> 00:00:43,871
to create hype
and it's working

16
00:00:43,955 --> 00:00:46,498
There's already people
camped out behind me

17
00:00:47,870 --> 00:00:53,944
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

18
00:01:00,680 --> 00:01:02,222
Test launch day, people.

19
00:01:02,349 --> 00:01:06,936
Now, I would like to fill you in
on a little secret about me

20
00:01:07,270 --> 00:01:08,771
To inspire you today

21
00:01:08,855 --> 00:01:12,191
Now I know you probably all think
I'm this patrician goddess

22
00:01:12,275 --> 00:01:14,193
But here's the truth

23
00:01:14,527 --> 00:01:17,321
I was born in the little
working-class town of Basildon

24
00:01:18,031 --> 00:01:19,865
and until the age of 32

25
00:01:19,950 --> 00:01:21,408
I talked like this

26
00:01:21,493 --> 00:01:23,911
Which was
bloody horrendous, innit?

27
00:01:24,329 --> 00:01:27,873
No, lower than

28
00:01:28,458 --> 00:01:29,667
What's lower than dirt?

29
00:01:29,751 --> 00:01:32,378
Loam. Magma. Mantle
Outer core. Inner core.

30
00:01:32,462 --> 00:01:36,298
Yeah, thank you. Loam.
Bloody loam I came from

31
00:01:36,549 --> 00:01:38,968
when I auditioned
for the Spice Girls

32
00:01:39,052 --> 00:01:40,719
get a callback

33
00:01:40,804 --> 00:01:41,845
Which Spice Girl?

34
00:01:41,972 --> 00:01:43,013
The black one

35
00:01:45,934 --> 00:01:46,976
Okay

36
00:01:47,060 --> 00:01:48,978
Now think about my
journey here today

37
00:01:49,062 --> 00:01:51,605
and let it inspire
your journey.

38
00:01:52,232 --> 00:01:54,024
Okay Nellie, thank you
Thank you so much

39
00:01:54,109 --> 00:01:55,150
Yep. Yep

40
00:01:55,235 --> 00:02:00,531
Today is press day, and press is
going to make or break this store

41
00:02:00,615 --> 00:02:04,243
And for a tech company press can
only mean one thing, bloggers.

42
00:02:04,661 --> 00:02:06,161
Dossier on bloggers

43
00:02:06,246 --> 00:02:11,417
Bloggers are gross Bloggers are obese.
Bloggers have halitosis

44
00:02:12,085 --> 00:02:13,419
You're going to love them

45
00:02:14,004 --> 00:02:16,547
Ryan is going to be
the main event today

46
00:02:16,798 --> 00:02:18,924
He is the pitchman
who is going to give

47
00:02:19,009 --> 00:02:21,176
the feisty yet
profound speech

48
00:02:21,261 --> 00:02:23,721
worthy of a world's fair.
Ryan, you ready to do this?

49
00:02:23,805 --> 00:02:25,014
When people see
this presentation,

50
00:02:25,098 --> 00:02:26,473
they're going to
♪ in their pants

51
00:02:26,474 --> 00:02:27,599
Come on, man.
- Come on

52
00:02:27,684 --> 00:02:29,601
Okay
Seriously disgusting

53
00:02:29,728 --> 00:02:31,770
Cathy, you will be the hot
girl who talks to bloggers

54
00:02:31,938 --> 00:02:34,356
Ugh! Kill me
It was my idea

55
00:02:34,441 --> 00:02:37,151
Packer, you will be the sexual
predator who has come to prey

56
00:02:37,235 --> 00:02:40,279
on the trendy teenage girls who
are obsessed with the Pyramid

57
00:02:40,572 --> 00:02:41,947
Uh...
- Ah

58
00:02:42,073 --> 00:02:43,198
That is excellent

59
00:02:43,283 --> 00:02:44,450
I don't see what
that gets us,

60
00:02:44,534 --> 00:02:45,617
but I'm a team player

61
00:02:45,702 --> 00:02:46,869
Perfect casting, right?

62
00:02:46,953 --> 00:02:50,039
Schrute's out to get me,
but I'm playing the long game

63
00:02:50,123 --> 00:02:53,876
As soon as he messes up I swoop
in like a sexual predator.

64
00:02:54,919 --> 00:02:59,298
Of wonder and enthusiasm

65
00:02:59,466 --> 00:03:03,719
as if at the end of E.T., candy
poured out of the screen.

66
00:03:04,095 --> 00:03:05,429
Do you understand?

67
00:03:05,972 --> 00:03:07,514
Goose pimples

68
00:03:08,475 --> 00:03:12,686
Speaking of pimples let's
release the bloggers!

69
00:03:14,773 --> 00:03:15,814
Morning, everyone

70
00:03:15,899 --> 00:03:17,566
Oh, Andy, guess what
happened to me this morning

71
00:03:17,692 --> 00:03:19,443
Don't care. Tell me later
Listen, it's important.

72
00:03:19,527 --> 00:03:20,778
You've got to hear this

73
00:03:22,781 --> 00:03:23,864
What do you got?

74
00:03:23,990 --> 00:03:25,824
Oh, my God
Do you have a black eye?

75
00:03:25,909 --> 00:03:27,117
Yes, I do, Phyllis

76
00:03:27,202 --> 00:03:29,078
I woke up at 4:00 a.m
by accident

77
00:03:29,162 --> 00:03:30,954
in time for
the paper to be delivered

78
00:03:31,039 --> 00:03:32,039
Guess what?

79
00:03:32,415 --> 00:03:35,751
It's not a kid on a bike
It's a man in a car

80
00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:37,377
Andy, who punched you?

81
00:03:37,587 --> 00:03:40,547
Hey, I was on the can What's this
about a black guy in the office?

82
00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:42,424
Black eye, Meredith

83
00:03:42,509 --> 00:03:44,176
Will someone please explain
what's going on here?

84
00:03:44,260 --> 00:03:47,930
Since the interesting thing happened
until now so much time has passed

85
00:03:48,014 --> 00:03:49,389
It's like my
life is buffering

86
00:03:50,183 --> 00:03:53,769
Here's what happened Pam and
I were arriving for the day

87
00:03:53,853 --> 00:03:58,440
and there was a gang in the parking
lot, on bikes, on motorcycles

88
00:03:58,525 --> 00:04:00,776
And they just
were hassling Pam.

89
00:04:00,860 --> 00:04:02,027
That's true.

90
00:04:02,112 --> 00:04:03,487
They had weapons.

91
00:04:03,571 --> 00:04:04,613
Weapons.

92
00:04:05,031 --> 00:04:07,324
To talk some sense
into them.

93
00:04:07,408 --> 00:04:10,577
But these were not the kind of
people who use their words.

94
00:04:10,703 --> 00:04:13,330
Punches were going,
and I ducked a few,

95
00:04:13,414 --> 00:04:15,749
landed a couple, and I
was fighting them off.

96
00:04:15,834 --> 00:04:19,044
It was a totally
like, senseless crime

97
00:04:19,170 --> 00:04:21,004
Thank goodness he was there.
- Good job, Andy.

98
00:04:23,299 --> 00:04:26,093
Any of you wouldn't
have done.

99
00:04:26,886 --> 00:04:28,345
Open the gates

100
00:04:29,514 --> 00:04:32,349
There's plenty for
everyone No need to panic

101
00:04:32,433 --> 00:04:34,852
There's plenty for
everyone There's plenty

102
00:04:34,936 --> 00:04:37,437
Don't stampede.
No need to stampede, sir

103
00:04:38,064 --> 00:04:42,734
Okay, okay! Hey, hey It's going
to be fine It's going to be fine

104
00:04:42,861 --> 00:04:44,361
There's plenty of Pyramids

105
00:04:44,445 --> 00:04:46,113
Come on,
I was in line before you

106
00:04:46,698 --> 00:04:48,490
So you're
a blogger, right?

107
00:04:48,575 --> 00:04:49,741
Yeah

108
00:04:49,909 --> 00:04:50,993
Blogger

109
00:04:51,077 --> 00:04:52,911
God, stay away

110
00:04:54,873 --> 00:04:56,498
Oh, I always get in
trouble around bloggers

111
00:04:56,583 --> 00:04:58,250
I'm trying to be
a good girl for once

112
00:04:59,210 --> 00:05:02,254
Uh, yeah, I already bought my Pyramid
but I don't want to leave yet.

113
00:05:02,338 --> 00:05:05,674
Since seeing Zooey Deschanel

114
00:05:05,758 --> 00:05:08,927
at the Coachella music festival.
So fun.

115
00:05:09,262 --> 00:05:11,471
How can we feel safe knowing
that there are gangs here?

116
00:05:11,598 --> 00:05:13,223
We should call the police right now
- Yes

117
00:05:13,308 --> 00:05:16,268
No, no, no, no, no, no We don't
need to call the police.

118
00:05:16,519 --> 00:05:18,270
They'll just ask
everybody questions

119
00:05:18,354 --> 00:05:20,105
get up in everyone's
business right, Pam?

120
00:05:20,190 --> 00:05:22,774
Police are a hassle We
settled this on the street

121
00:05:22,901 --> 00:05:26,153
And my eye will heal.
But if the police come

122
00:05:26,237 --> 00:05:29,615
then we will forever stain our
neighborhood as a troubled area

123
00:05:29,866 --> 00:05:33,035
Why would you care what the
police think of our neighborhood?

124
00:05:33,119 --> 00:05:37,289
Because I have
neighborhood pride

125
00:05:38,708 --> 00:05:40,959
Guys, guys
that's so vague

126
00:05:41,127 --> 00:05:43,045
You got to do
the zip plus four

127
00:05:43,296 --> 00:05:47,132
18505-7427

128
00:05:47,592 --> 00:05:50,969
Look, I don't feel safe I think
we should call the police.

129
00:05:51,095 --> 00:05:52,888
Yes Exactly, we
need to feel safe,

130
00:05:52,972 --> 00:05:57,476
which is why Toby is
teaching us self-defense.

131
00:05:59,395 --> 00:06:00,395
Me?

132
00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:01,980
Toby, will you
teach us self-defense?

133
00:06:02,315 --> 00:06:04,900
Yeah. I can't believe
you remembered

134
00:06:04,984 --> 00:06:08,320
I'll go put on my cup

135
00:06:09,072 --> 00:06:10,113
Great

136
00:06:10,531 --> 00:06:11,740
Yes
- Okay.

137
00:06:11,824 --> 00:06:13,867
One of you was Chuck

138
00:06:13,952 --> 00:06:15,994
Yeah, no, it seems
to be going great.

139
00:06:17,538 --> 00:06:19,331
Andy got beat up by
a fifth grade girl?

140
00:06:19,749 --> 00:06:21,667
Look at that guy, he's got
a Sabre phone on him,

141
00:06:21,751 --> 00:06:23,043
he's not even using it

142
00:06:23,127 --> 00:06:25,754
This is a perfect photo
for my daily fail blog.

143
00:06:26,839 --> 00:06:28,757
Uh, I got to go
Okay.

144
00:06:28,967 --> 00:06:31,134
Dwight, what is a fail?
That sounds bad.

145
00:06:31,219 --> 00:06:33,512
No, no, no, it's good
It's really

146
00:06:33,596 --> 00:06:36,515
On the Internet, that's a
really good good thing

147
00:06:37,350 --> 00:06:39,309
Are you trying to
sabotage this entire event?

148
00:06:39,394 --> 00:06:40,477
I'm very sorry

149
00:06:40,561 --> 00:06:45,274
We gave you an Arrowhead
for free for the day.

150
00:06:45,566 --> 00:06:48,110
How hard would it have
been to do this? Hmm?

151
00:06:49,112 --> 00:06:53,699
Hello. Hi, sweetie, it's Jim I'm
calling you from my new Arrowhead

152
00:06:53,783 --> 00:06:55,409
which is why my
voice is crystal clear

153
00:06:55,493 --> 00:06:57,035
and my hand
won't ever get tired

154
00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:59,288
because of
the ergonomic shape

155
00:06:59,372 --> 00:07:03,083
I'm really sorry Is there anything I
can do? Maybe pretend to be Chuck?

156
00:07:03,209 --> 00:07:04,584
You could have
pretended to be Chuck

157
00:07:04,669 --> 00:07:06,461
I begged you to
pretend to be Chuck

158
00:07:06,546 --> 00:07:09,423
But you chose to be yourself and
you can no longer be Chuck.

159
00:07:09,674 --> 00:07:11,216
Surrender the tri-pack

160
00:07:16,848 --> 00:07:18,056
You know what
you have to do

161
00:07:24,564 --> 00:07:26,898
Point it towards
the store, idiot

162
00:07:36,868 --> 00:07:38,285
You know what I mean?

163
00:07:38,369 --> 00:07:39,661
Pick one of these
buttons and just

164
00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:43,040
Damn it. Take over

165
00:07:43,916 --> 00:07:46,126
Oh, hey, hey, hey, you guys
You must be lost

166
00:07:46,210 --> 00:07:48,170
Listen.
Excuse me, sir

167
00:07:48,254 --> 00:07:51,006
The fountain where you can feed the
pigeons is out behind the bank.

168
00:07:51,090 --> 00:07:53,175
Tell your great-grandson
to bring his kid by.

169
00:07:53,259 --> 00:07:55,344
Okay, so long
Here we go.

170
00:07:55,595 --> 00:07:57,429
Erin! Psst! Come on

171
00:07:57,680 --> 00:08:00,223
The elderly suck the life out of
the young Get them out of here

172
00:08:00,391 --> 00:08:02,976
We are closed
Come on

173
00:08:03,561 --> 00:08:06,521
Self-defense is not some
fun boxing match okay?

174
00:08:06,606 --> 00:08:08,190
This is about
escaping with your life

175
00:08:08,274 --> 00:08:12,027
So strike
scream and run

176
00:08:13,154 --> 00:08:14,279
All right,
let's try it

177
00:08:20,411 --> 00:08:21,411
That may have
been my fault.

178
00:08:21,496 --> 00:08:22,579
What the hell, Toby?

179
00:08:22,663 --> 00:08:24,873
Okay, look in a real
crisis situation

180
00:08:24,957 --> 00:08:26,541
you're not going to
have time to think.

181
00:08:27,001 --> 00:08:29,795
Okay?
So just remember IAATG

182
00:08:30,338 --> 00:08:31,922
"It's All About The Groin.'

183
00:08:32,006 --> 00:08:37,177
What if you're being
attacked by a smallish man

184
00:08:37,261 --> 00:08:39,137
who happens to
not have a groin?

185
00:08:39,806 --> 00:08:41,223
I don't think
that's very common

186
00:08:41,307 --> 00:08:42,891
But what if
you're being attacked

187
00:08:42,975 --> 00:08:45,769
by a 4'11" man
who's penis-less

188
00:08:46,104 --> 00:08:49,189
Why are you fixated on this
hypothetical transgendered attacker?

189
00:08:49,357 --> 00:08:50,774
Why don't we
start with the basics?

190
00:08:50,858 --> 00:08:52,818
Show us how to defend
ourself against a baby

191
00:08:52,902 --> 00:08:55,654
and then like
a fifth-grade girl

192
00:08:55,738 --> 00:08:58,865
and then, you know, if we have
time on up to a scary man

193
00:08:58,991 --> 00:09:03,203
The most common scenario is a larger
man attacking a smaller female

194
00:09:03,329 --> 00:09:07,999
So in that scenario
what if the victim

195
00:09:08,084 --> 00:09:10,293
sucker punches
the attacker in the face?

196
00:09:10,586 --> 00:09:13,755
What can the attacker then do
to better protect himself?

197
00:09:14,006 --> 00:09:15,632
It's interesting
that you're drawn

198
00:09:15,716 --> 00:09:17,551
to the point of
view of the attacker

199
00:09:17,844 --> 00:09:20,554
You would like
The Turn of the Table.

200
00:09:20,680 --> 00:09:22,431
Okay? The latest
Chad Flenderman novel

201
00:09:23,599 --> 00:09:26,268
From the point of view of his nemesis, Dr.
Lucifer Woo.

202
00:09:26,352 --> 00:09:28,437
Can I please leave?
I have a rape flute.

203
00:09:28,604 --> 00:09:30,856
All right, well let's try one
simple technique together

204
00:09:30,940 --> 00:09:32,649
Okay, why doesn't
everyone stand?

205
00:09:32,733 --> 00:09:34,443
Okay, so
you're being attacked

206
00:09:34,527 --> 00:09:37,529
you've got your hands up
simple palm strike to the chin

207
00:09:37,822 --> 00:09:40,031
Up to the chin
One, two

208
00:09:40,366 --> 00:09:41,741
One, two

209
00:09:42,243 --> 00:09:44,202
One, two

210
00:09:44,829 --> 00:09:48,457
Cathy, I would like to introduce
you to Fatty Gruesome

211
00:09:48,541 --> 00:09:51,042
He is a freelancer
for Wired magazine

212
00:09:51,544 --> 00:09:53,128
Patty Grossman
I'm a woman.

213
00:09:53,337 --> 00:09:54,671
But you still work
for Wired, right?

214
00:09:54,755 --> 00:09:55,881
Yes
Good.

215
00:09:55,965 --> 00:09:57,507
Okay. Flirt away

216
00:09:59,051 --> 00:10:01,720
Sabre. It's time
to come home.

217
00:10:05,391 --> 00:10:06,600
Yeah

218
00:10:07,435 --> 00:10:10,395
Yeah. I mean, I think It seemed
like you were a little nervous.

219
00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:11,730
Yeah, no * Sherlock

220
00:10:11,814 --> 00:10:13,398
Can somebody please tell
me something encouraging

221
00:10:13,483 --> 00:10:14,566
about this presentation

222
00:10:14,650 --> 00:10:16,651
before I go out there in front
of a million people and do it?

223
00:10:16,736 --> 00:10:17,777
Okay. I know!
I know, champ

224
00:10:17,862 --> 00:10:19,779
Just calm down
because, listen

225
00:10:19,864 --> 00:10:21,573
when you are out in
front of a those people

226
00:10:21,657 --> 00:10:22,657
Yeah, what?

227
00:10:22,742 --> 00:10:23,783
you just
need to realize

228
00:10:23,868 --> 00:10:26,995
so much rides on this

229
00:10:27,079 --> 00:10:28,705
You have no idea

230
00:10:28,789 --> 00:10:29,831
Dwight

231
00:10:29,916 --> 00:10:31,249
I'm trying to make
him feel important

232
00:10:31,918 --> 00:10:34,878
I wish Kelly were here.
She always knew what to say

233
00:10:35,671 --> 00:10:36,755
Um

234
00:10:37,924 --> 00:10:40,509
Oh, Ryan, you're so smart

235
00:10:40,593 --> 00:10:42,302
You're smarter
than Mark Zuckerberg

236
00:10:42,386 --> 00:10:44,429
and those Google guys
all combined.

237
00:10:45,890 --> 00:10:48,266
You're so ignorant. You barely
know what you're talking about.

238
00:10:48,476 --> 00:10:50,101
It's so ridiculous

239
00:10:50,561 --> 00:10:52,521
You really need to
read a couple of books

240
00:10:52,772 --> 00:10:54,105
What's a book?

241
00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:56,608
Oh, my God
You're so embarrassing

242
00:10:57,401 --> 00:10:59,736
My mom would say
the best stuff though

243
00:11:06,869 --> 00:11:08,078
You can

244
00:11:09,205 --> 00:11:10,330
You can do it, Ryan

245
00:11:10,498 --> 00:11:12,832
And you know that
I'm capable of this?

246
00:11:12,917 --> 00:11:15,210
You're the only one
who can do it, sweetie

247
00:11:15,294 --> 00:11:17,462
What did you think
of the presentation?

248
00:11:17,547 --> 00:11:19,214
I thought
it was great, sweetie

249
00:11:20,258 --> 00:11:21,716
I would just
fix that one

250
00:11:21,801 --> 00:11:23,552
"Fix" means you hate it I knew it!

251
00:11:23,636 --> 00:11:24,844
I need something
to drink!

252
00:11:24,929 --> 00:11:26,096
Jim, get him a water

253
00:11:26,180 --> 00:11:27,472
No, not a water
a sports drink!

254
00:11:27,557 --> 00:11:28,807
I hate everything
in that fridge

255
00:11:28,891 --> 00:11:31,226
Not red! Get me something
yellow or green

256
00:11:31,310 --> 00:11:33,103
from a nearby store
Not red!

257
00:11:34,230 --> 00:11:35,397
Why are you just
standing there?

258
00:11:35,481 --> 00:11:37,983
Go to a nearby store and get him
a yellow or green sports drink.

259
00:11:40,695 --> 00:11:43,613
Now if your attacker is
willing to defile a corpse

260
00:11:43,698 --> 00:11:45,991
you better stop
playing dead right away

261
00:11:46,117 --> 00:11:47,784
and just make it known
that you're alive

262
00:11:47,910 --> 00:11:49,536
Forgive me
for interrupting

263
00:11:49,912 --> 00:11:52,914
had an altercation
with somebody here

264
00:11:52,999 --> 00:11:55,542
some fancy gentleman
with a squeaky voice?

265
00:11:55,626 --> 00:11:57,669
I think you guys might
have the wrong office

266
00:11:57,753 --> 00:11:59,588
That's him.
The guy I hit

267
00:11:59,672 --> 00:12:00,714
What?

268
00:12:00,798 --> 00:12:02,424
You've got to be
kidding me.

269
00:12:02,508 --> 00:12:03,842
Poor Andy

270
00:12:04,802 --> 00:12:08,096
First you got beat up by a gang
and now she kicks your ass

271
00:12:08,180 --> 00:12:09,139
No, Kevin

272
00:12:09,223 --> 00:12:11,224
What about the lady
you hit with a pinecone?

273
00:12:11,309 --> 00:12:12,851
There.
That chubby one

274
00:12:15,229 --> 00:12:16,438
Yesterday?

275
00:12:16,689 --> 00:12:18,440
Wow.
Apologize

276
00:12:19,025 --> 00:12:22,193
Sorry I kicked your ass in front
of your "thin" girlfriend

277
00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:24,529
How about we wait until next
year after you have your kid?

278
00:12:24,822 --> 00:12:26,823
You know what? Tiffany's
going to college

279
00:12:26,907 --> 00:12:29,326
Listen I don't know what you
guys are talking about,

280
00:12:29,410 --> 00:12:33,038
but I guess I' just accept your
apology so we can get on with our day

281
00:12:33,289 --> 00:12:36,374
God bless. A friend of
mine uses your paper

282
00:12:36,459 --> 00:12:37,626
You do good work

283
00:12:38,836 --> 00:12:40,086
Bye-bye.
Bye

284
00:12:40,671 --> 00:12:43,798
So, Toby, I think we should do a
different self-defense seminar

285
00:12:43,883 --> 00:12:46,343
how to protect ourselves
against tiny little girls.

286
00:12:46,510 --> 00:12:49,596
There's no shame in getting
beaten up by a girl

287
00:12:49,680 --> 00:12:51,723
My ex-wife used
to demolish me.

288
00:12:52,016 --> 00:12:53,350
No, there is
shame in it, okay?

289
00:12:53,434 --> 00:12:55,143
We have to draw the
line somewhere.

290
00:12:55,227 --> 00:12:57,562
Oh, my God I think I see
the imprint of a Ring Pop

291
00:12:57,813 --> 00:12:58,980
Oh

292
00:13:00,983 --> 00:13:02,233
Have you seen Erin?

293
00:13:02,318 --> 00:13:03,526
I'm on break

294
00:13:06,739 --> 00:13:07,739
Oh, my God

295
00:13:08,032 --> 00:13:09,699
No, hey, bloggers, where
do you think you're going?

296
00:13:09,784 --> 00:13:11,159
No, you got to stay
for the big presentation

297
00:13:11,243 --> 00:13:12,577
We got this
young whiz kid, Ryan

298
00:13:12,662 --> 00:13:14,329
He's like an even
more handsome Bill Gates

299
00:13:14,413 --> 00:13:15,538
When's the presentation?

300
00:13:15,665 --> 00:13:17,290
It's moments away
Just stay here

301
00:13:17,500 --> 00:13:19,834
Hey, Uncle Lucas
it's your nephew, Ryan

302
00:13:19,919 --> 00:13:23,004
Honestly, I could use a
prescription for Ritalin right now

303
00:13:23,964 --> 00:13:26,216
Well, I know you did
one for Aunt Carol.

304
00:13:27,510 --> 00:13:29,636
So it's different
because it's your wife?

305
00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:31,846
Well, that doesn't
make any sense to me

306
00:13:31,931 --> 00:13:33,640
How are you doing?
Don't talk to me right now

307
00:13:33,724 --> 00:13:35,183
I'm sorry. I know you're my boss

308
00:13:35,267 --> 00:13:36,476
but seriously,
you need to get

309
00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:37,936
the hell out of my face

310
00:13:40,773 --> 00:13:44,818
Your little man is unraveling.
Now go and fix it

311
00:13:45,277 --> 00:13:46,861
Sorry about
kicking you out

312
00:13:46,946 --> 00:13:50,198
It's just we don't want our
brand associated with death

313
00:13:50,282 --> 00:13:54,452
It's okay I'll go to the Costco
and search for handsome men

314
00:13:54,954 --> 00:13:56,371
You're not married yet?

315
00:13:56,622 --> 00:14:00,375
Oh, I was. My husband
was my best friend

316
00:14:00,918 --> 00:14:02,168
He passed away

317
00:14:03,963 --> 00:14:06,297
My best friend
was my boss, Andy

318
00:14:06,924 --> 00:14:08,800
We dated for a while
but since then,

319
00:14:08,884 --> 00:14:10,885
he rejected me and
we're not really friends

320
00:14:11,512 --> 00:14:16,182
Someone rejected you? With
that body and those bazongas?

321
00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:17,726
Forget him

322
00:14:18,436 --> 00:14:22,439
Yeah. Forget him And you
should forget your husband

323
00:14:23,023 --> 00:14:24,023
Well

324
00:14:25,860 --> 00:14:27,068
How long has he
been in the bathroom?

325
00:14:27,153 --> 00:14:28,278
Like 10 minutes

326
00:14:28,362 --> 00:14:30,071
Geez, what's he
doing in there?

327
00:14:30,156 --> 00:14:31,406
Oh, that's my phone

328
00:14:31,490 --> 00:14:32,741
Am I allowed to answer it or
are you going to freak out?

329
00:14:32,825 --> 00:14:33,825
Are there bloggers around?

330
00:14:34,493 --> 00:14:35,493
It's Ryan

331
00:14:35,828 --> 00:14:38,121
"I'm sorry. I lied
I'm not in the bathroom

332
00:14:38,205 --> 00:14:40,457
"I can't do it I need to see my mom

333
00:14:40,541 --> 00:14:41,666
"I'm going home.'

334
00:14:41,751 --> 00:14:43,835
What is the delay here?

335
00:14:45,171 --> 00:14:46,254
Where is Ryan?

336
00:14:47,006 --> 00:14:48,423
Why is he not here?

337
00:14:51,093 --> 00:14:54,012
As brilliant and
creative as he is

338
00:14:54,138 --> 00:14:57,056
he is nothing
compared to this guy

339
00:14:57,391 --> 00:14:58,391
Uh.

340
00:14:58,934 --> 00:14:59,934
What?

341
00:15:00,019 --> 00:15:01,269
That's right. Will you
just give us a second?

342
00:15:01,353 --> 00:15:03,313
You are going to bloody ruin it.
You're going to bloody ruin it

343
00:15:03,397 --> 00:15:05,857
because you're a no-good,
half-assed, cockeyed numpty

344
00:15:05,941 --> 00:15:07,233
Okay. Okay

345
00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:09,694
Jim I'm not doing
the presentation

346
00:15:10,070 --> 00:15:13,573
Look at me. Look at me
Look at this face

347
00:15:13,741 --> 00:15:15,408
This is not
the face of a performer

348
00:15:15,493 --> 00:15:18,703
This is the face of a scary
apparition you see before you die

349
00:15:19,538 --> 00:15:24,834
I'm telling you, if you don't
do this, I don't stand a chance

350
00:15:26,378 --> 00:15:27,462
Please, Jim

351
00:15:33,302 --> 00:15:34,552
Okay, I'll do it

352
00:15:35,638 --> 00:15:39,724
Oh, my God. Okay

353
00:15:39,850 --> 00:15:41,601
Go get into Ryan's costume
and check out his notes.

354
00:15:41,685 --> 00:15:42,727
A costume?

355
00:15:42,812 --> 00:15:44,395
Of course
there's a costume

356
00:15:45,981 --> 00:15:47,357
Oh, this is going
to be great

357
00:15:47,441 --> 00:15:48,733
There's nothing like
some last minute changes

358
00:15:48,818 --> 00:15:51,528
to really energize
a presentation. Huh?

359
00:16:03,833 --> 00:16:06,000
Did you pass out in there?
What is taking so long?

360
00:16:06,085 --> 00:16:07,794
I've been in here
for 20 seconds.

361
00:16:07,878 --> 00:16:10,755
Hurry up! Let me in I want
to watch you get dressed.

362
00:16:11,006 --> 00:16:13,049
Did you find
the eyeliner?

363
00:16:13,926 --> 00:16:15,009
I'm not wearing eyeliner

364
00:16:15,094 --> 00:16:17,220
You are wearing
eyeliner, Jim.

365
00:16:26,438 --> 00:16:30,650
Time, space, gender

366
00:16:30,860 --> 00:16:32,277
There are no rules
anymore.

367
00:16:32,903 --> 00:16:34,779
All boundaries
are breaking down

368
00:16:35,281 --> 00:16:37,907
in the wake of
the infinite future

369
00:16:39,368 --> 00:16:42,537
The only thing that The
only thing that remains...

370
00:16:42,746 --> 00:16:44,038
The only thing
that remains

371
00:16:44,123 --> 00:16:46,541
are the things that have
stood the test of time

372
00:16:46,625 --> 00:16:51,129
Love, values and of
course the Pyramids

373
00:16:51,797 --> 00:16:54,632
The strongest shape
ever constructed.

374
00:16:54,884 --> 00:16:59,053
A shape that fits all other
shapes inside of it.

375
00:16:59,138 --> 00:17:00,221
No, that's

376
00:17:00,306 --> 00:17:01,347
Mmm. It's true

377
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:07,270
This is the future
because this is the past

378
00:17:08,314 --> 00:17:10,440
I've been through a lot
of issues in my life

379
00:17:11,066 --> 00:17:15,069
I've seen drug addiction
unemployment

380
00:17:15,696 --> 00:17:18,531
I've been in a relationship
that tore my heart apart

381
00:17:18,616 --> 00:17:22,493
without ever being able to
accept that love drove the pain

382
00:17:22,995 --> 00:17:24,495
Yep

383
00:17:24,580 --> 00:17:28,499
When I was 10 years old my
parents took me to Disney world

384
00:17:31,921 --> 00:17:36,174
I was not able to comprehend
the beauty that was before me

385
00:17:40,179 --> 00:17:43,431
This is what the Pyramid
will do for you.

386
00:17:43,807 --> 00:17:46,851
It is the bridge
to the world.

387
00:17:47,019 --> 00:17:48,853
It has the USB port

388
00:17:49,063 --> 00:17:53,149
Wireless will be
available in 2013

389
00:17:54,276 --> 00:17:59,530
You can play anything
from Chuck to Cars 2.

390
00:18:01,575 --> 00:18:06,704
With the Pyramid, you have
the connection to everything

391
00:18:07,623 --> 00:18:10,333
In time and space

392
00:18:14,838 --> 00:18:15,838
Psst

393
00:18:16,966 --> 00:18:18,049
Oh

394
00:18:22,388 --> 00:18:26,099
Sabre. It's time
to come home.

395
00:18:38,570 --> 00:18:41,114
All right.
Thank you so much. Wow

396
00:18:41,907 --> 00:18:42,991
Wow

397
00:18:44,326 --> 00:18:45,451
And good night

398
00:18:46,912 --> 00:18:47,912
Yeah

399
00:18:53,419 --> 00:18:55,169
Okay, this isn't over
Let's stay focused, okay?

400
00:18:55,254 --> 00:18:58,423
We made fun of Andy earlier for
getting beat up by a little girl

401
00:18:59,049 --> 00:19:01,092
but little things
can be dangerous

402
00:19:01,176 --> 00:19:04,262
Whether it's a gremlin
or Chucky the doll,

403
00:19:04,430 --> 00:19:07,515
the key is to
throw it in something

404
00:19:07,599 --> 00:19:10,935
like a fireplace or
a tub of electricity

405
00:19:11,353 --> 00:19:13,146
Okay, good point. Um

406
00:19:13,439 --> 00:19:16,566
Good point? What is a
tub of electricity?

407
00:19:17,317 --> 00:19:18,776
With all due respect

408
00:19:18,861 --> 00:19:20,528
we know what we're
defending against

409
00:19:20,612 --> 00:19:22,280
It's a 12-year-old
female bully.

410
00:19:24,324 --> 00:19:27,201
Great! I think Kelly
should attack Toby

411
00:19:27,286 --> 00:19:28,369
Yeah

412
00:19:28,454 --> 00:19:29,662
Yeah, that's not
a bad idea actually

413
00:19:29,747 --> 00:19:31,789
because I have had
a lot of pent-up aggression

414
00:19:31,874 --> 00:19:33,416
Thanks.
- Good! Go

415
00:19:33,542 --> 00:19:34,751
I don't know whether
this is gonna help

416
00:19:34,877 --> 00:19:36,127
All right, Kelly

417
00:19:36,545 --> 00:19:38,880
We should stay to maybe some
more traditional models.

418
00:19:38,964 --> 00:19:40,298
You think
you're so pretty?

419
00:19:40,382 --> 00:19:42,467
You're not going to be
so pretty come prom-time

420
00:19:42,593 --> 00:19:44,010
Okay, this is what's
called Take that!

421
00:19:44,094 --> 00:19:45,470
pre-violent posture
Take that

422
00:19:45,929 --> 00:19:47,764
Not so pre-violent
anymore

423
00:19:47,848 --> 00:19:50,516
I'm in what's called
the decision point.

424
00:19:50,684 --> 00:19:51,851
Hey, hey, hey
Kelly! Kelly!

425
00:19:52,478 --> 00:19:53,644
Ow

426
00:19:53,812 --> 00:19:54,979
My good eye

427
00:19:55,981 --> 00:19:56,981
Oh, boy

428
00:19:58,067 --> 00:19:59,442
Oh, no, I'm not
laughing at you

429
00:19:59,526 --> 00:20:02,820
I'm laughing at
something that Cece did

430
00:20:02,905 --> 00:20:06,532
on the playground earlier
yesterday, this morning.

431
00:20:07,409 --> 00:20:09,410
You know why I
got hit by girls?

432
00:20:10,329 --> 00:20:12,789
Because I stood up
for others.

433
00:20:12,873 --> 00:20:14,665
Pam and Toby

434
00:20:16,001 --> 00:20:20,088
didn't care that I was
standing up to girls.

435
00:20:20,172 --> 00:20:25,635
You may want to ask yourselves,
where were you when the girls came?

436
00:20:27,471 --> 00:20:30,098
Tough day, yes
But I feel good

437
00:20:30,182 --> 00:20:32,767
I put the office
in their place

438
00:20:32,851 --> 00:20:36,270
took a bunch of painkillers drank half
a bottle of wine took my pants off.

439
00:20:40,734 --> 00:20:43,111
Okay, okay, I will be
the first to admit it.

440
00:20:43,195 --> 00:20:45,446
We could have integrated more
Chuck into the presentation.

441
00:20:45,531 --> 00:20:48,366
Dwight, you're
the vice president

442
00:20:49,952 --> 00:20:54,539
Yeah
Okay! Come on!

443
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:56,082
Right on

444
00:20:56,416 --> 00:20:58,042
Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam

445
00:20:58,127 --> 00:20:59,127
Boom

446
00:21:00,175 --> 00:21:10,175
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.