1
00:00:05,068 --> 00:00:06,360
This is Pam

2
00:00:08,405 --> 00:00:12,116
Oh, my God, are you sure? Okay,
okay, we'll be right there

3
00:00:12,534 --> 00:00:13,993
Everybody

4
00:00:14,077 --> 00:00:15,703
The balloon is falling
- What?

5
00:00:16,746 --> 00:00:18,330
There's this balloon
that has been floating

6
00:00:18,415 --> 00:00:20,332
in the rafters of the
warehouse for, like, ever.

7
00:00:20,417 --> 00:00:21,458
And

8
00:00:21,543 --> 00:00:24,420
Okay, it's not it doesn't sound
cool you just have to see it

9
00:00:27,007 --> 00:00:30,092
Well, I guess it doesn't
look that cool either

10
00:00:30,343 --> 00:00:32,469
But it's been up there
a long time,

11
00:00:32,554 --> 00:00:34,930
so it's become
a pretty big deal

12
00:00:36,766 --> 00:00:38,934
Wow. It's the end
of an era.

13
00:00:39,436 --> 00:00:40,728
You did
a good job, buddy

14
00:00:41,229 --> 00:00:42,771
Now it's time
to come home

15
00:00:43,189 --> 00:00:47,192
I remember when that balloon went
up there I was still with Gil

16
00:00:47,652 --> 00:00:49,236
We were so happy

17
00:00:49,446 --> 00:00:52,614
When that went up there
I had hair like Rapunzel.

18
00:00:54,159 --> 00:00:56,577
How long do you think
it's been up there, Kevin?

19
00:00:56,745 --> 00:01:00,789
I just remember pushing aside
my silky bangs to say,

20
00:01:01,583 --> 00:01:03,125
"Look, a balloon.'

21
00:01:03,501 --> 00:01:06,045
My Warcraft clan was
still on speaking terms

22
00:01:06,129 --> 00:01:08,213
My kid didn't
have a face tattoo

23
00:01:08,590 --> 00:01:10,716
of going back to school

24
00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:12,968
And I was still
just a paper salesman

25
00:01:13,636 --> 00:01:17,389
This has been fun, Pam Thanks
for calling us all down here.

26
00:01:21,144 --> 00:01:24,271
Kill the balloon
Kill the balloon!

27
00:01:24,606 --> 00:01:27,733
Kill the balloon
Kill the balloon

28
00:01:28,980 --> 00:01:35,054
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

29
00:01:42,207 --> 00:01:43,290
Hey

30
00:01:43,666 --> 00:01:45,876
So they accidentally gave us an
extra egg sandwich this morning

31
00:01:46,002 --> 00:01:48,045
Who wants it?
- Ooh! Right here

32
00:01:48,129 --> 00:01:49,254
Right here! Pick me

33
00:01:49,339 --> 00:01:51,048
Allow me to solve
your problem then

34
00:01:51,341 --> 00:01:52,466
Nellie

35
00:01:52,550 --> 00:01:53,675
Mmm

36
00:01:57,347 --> 00:01:59,348
Ugh! That is disgusting

37
00:01:59,432 --> 00:02:02,476
Do you call that a King
James breakfast pie?

38
00:02:02,685 --> 00:02:04,144
What brings you to town?

39
00:02:04,312 --> 00:02:09,274
Certainly not the Harry
Houdini museum What a nobody

40
00:02:09,526 --> 00:02:12,277
"Oh, look, some Hungarian just
found their way out of a sack,

41
00:02:12,362 --> 00:02:14,029
"let's build a shrine.'

42
00:02:14,114 --> 00:02:15,280
No, I've come
to work here.

43
00:02:15,532 --> 00:02:16,490
What?

44
00:02:16,574 --> 00:02:20,077
How could Robert transfer Nellie
here after the Sabre store debacle?

45
00:02:20,161 --> 00:02:21,870
She stinks of failure

46
00:02:21,955 --> 00:02:24,039
The fact that she could
show her face around here

47
00:02:24,124 --> 00:02:25,666
is an embarrassment

48
00:02:25,750 --> 00:02:28,752
an identical situation

49
00:02:28,878 --> 00:02:32,047
Robert did say you'd be joining us.
Welcome, I'm Tony

50
00:02:32,966 --> 00:02:34,007
What?

51
00:02:36,052 --> 00:02:38,846
Okay, I made a mistake I
thought it might go unnoticed.

52
00:02:39,597 --> 00:02:41,014
But, I'm Toby

53
00:02:41,724 --> 00:02:43,225
You messed up
saying your name?

54
00:02:43,309 --> 00:02:44,810
It happens, okay?

55
00:02:45,228 --> 00:02:47,020
So let's just find
an empty desk for you

56
00:02:47,105 --> 00:02:50,816
and I'm sure Robert will be
with you as soon as he gets in.

57
00:02:50,900 --> 00:02:51,900
That one looks empty

58
00:02:52,068 --> 00:02:53,527
No. It's Andy's office

59
00:02:53,945 --> 00:02:55,737
Oh, is it?

60
00:02:56,739 --> 00:02:59,408
I have one simple
philosophy in business

61
00:02:59,492 --> 00:03:02,077
if the seat is open
the job is open.

62
00:03:02,162 --> 00:03:05,414
It's how I came to briefly
race a Formula One car

63
00:03:07,041 --> 00:03:09,626
The three slowest laps
ever recorded.

64
00:03:12,672 --> 00:03:15,257
Another beautiful day
in Tallahassee.

65
00:03:16,426 --> 00:03:17,509
Good morning, Alonzo

66
00:03:17,594 --> 00:03:19,011
Good morning, Erin

67
00:03:19,095 --> 00:03:21,722
How are you?
How's your family doing?

68
00:03:23,057 --> 00:03:24,057
Bye

69
00:03:24,601 --> 00:03:28,270
Look at this place. Five rooms
and I get to clean them all

70
00:03:28,354 --> 00:03:31,190
That's right. I'm a
maid for an old lady

71
00:03:31,274 --> 00:03:35,152
Her grandson's staying with us,
too, because he ran out of money

72
00:03:35,570 --> 00:03:37,988
Listen to me,
bragging away

73
00:03:40,450 --> 00:03:41,825
Nellie
Robert

74
00:03:41,910 --> 00:03:47,039
How are you adjusting
to life in Scranton so far?

75
00:03:47,624 --> 00:03:50,959
So far, so good The water pressure
in the hotel is marvelous

76
00:03:51,586 --> 00:03:56,882
It is astounding what a difference
that can make, isn't it?

77
00:03:56,966 --> 00:03:57,966
Mm-hmm

78
00:03:58,051 --> 00:04:01,803
Now, let's find you something
fun to do here shall we?

79
00:04:01,930 --> 00:04:03,931
Oh, I've already found it

80
00:04:04,015 --> 00:04:07,768
a natural next step
It fits like a glove.

81
00:04:07,852 --> 00:04:09,353
We have a manager

82
00:04:09,437 --> 00:04:12,773
Do you really?
Because it is 10:00

83
00:04:13,274 --> 00:04:14,733
I've been in this
chair for an hour

84
00:04:14,817 --> 00:04:17,653
and no other manager
has come and sat on my lap

85
00:04:21,783 --> 00:04:24,701
Excuse me has anyone
seen Andy this morning?

86
00:04:25,620 --> 00:04:29,248
Yeah, that's weird He's usually
here by now Right, guys?

87
00:04:30,500 --> 00:04:32,751
Hello?
Andy, it's Robert

88
00:04:32,835 --> 00:04:34,419
Why aren't you at work?

89
00:04:34,504 --> 00:04:37,756
Hey, Robert, I really wish I
could come into work today

90
00:04:37,840 --> 00:04:39,341
but I'm super sick.

91
00:04:42,345 --> 00:04:44,680
Please come to
work immediately

92
00:04:45,056 --> 00:04:49,017
Okay, I'll try to come in,
even though I'm really sick

93
00:04:51,312 --> 00:04:53,146
with the Florida flu

94
00:04:55,066 --> 00:04:57,276
He just hung up
on me mid-sentence

95
00:04:57,360 --> 00:04:59,278
I'm in Florida to get Erin

96
00:04:59,362 --> 00:05:00,946
As soon as I heard she wasn't
coming back to Scranton,

97
00:05:01,030 --> 00:05:04,074
and drove straight down
until I hit the ocean.

98
00:05:04,158 --> 00:05:05,867
My heart is my map

99
00:05:06,577 --> 00:05:09,705
Turns out Tallahassee is about
two hundred miles inland,

100
00:05:09,831 --> 00:05:12,374
so I overshot a good amount

101
00:05:12,458 --> 00:05:15,252
But still, not bad
for a heart map, right?

102
00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:18,964
Ew

103
00:05:20,508 --> 00:05:22,384
Thanks a lot, BP

104
00:05:23,052 --> 00:05:25,846
Not much we can do about this
until he gets here.

105
00:05:25,930 --> 00:05:27,180
Can't you do
something about this?

106
00:05:27,557 --> 00:05:30,684
Sometimes the flowers
arrange themselves, Jim

107
00:05:33,896 --> 00:05:34,980
Right

108
00:05:35,064 --> 00:05:38,025
What is going on,
and where's Andy?

109
00:05:38,609 --> 00:05:40,444
And what is going on?

110
00:05:40,737 --> 00:05:42,863
Erin, you got a package

111
00:05:43,406 --> 00:05:44,614
I'm in the bathroom

112
00:05:44,741 --> 00:05:47,242
Where's the postage? I mean
there's no shipping label

113
00:05:47,327 --> 00:05:48,910
Did you wash your hands?

114
00:05:49,370 --> 00:05:50,579
Yes

115
00:05:52,623 --> 00:05:56,418
Here I am, signed, seaped,
delivered I'm yours

116
00:05:56,753 --> 00:05:58,170
Andy, what are you
doing here?

117
00:05:58,421 --> 00:06:00,088
It's great to see you

118
00:06:01,049 --> 00:06:02,049
Ah

119
00:06:02,383 --> 00:06:06,678
Uh, I am here to take
you back to Scranton

120
00:06:06,763 --> 00:06:09,848
because I love you and
I want to be with you.

121
00:06:10,767 --> 00:06:11,808
Where's the ring?

122
00:06:12,018 --> 00:06:13,018
Hmm?

123
00:06:13,102 --> 00:06:14,644
Where's the ring, Lancelot?

124
00:06:14,979 --> 00:06:17,189
Would you guys mind if we
talked privately for a second?

125
00:06:17,565 --> 00:06:19,399
Sorry, Glenn

126
00:06:23,196 --> 00:06:24,196
Um

127
00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:28,116
Andy I am so happy to see you

128
00:06:28,368 --> 00:06:30,160
but I'm not
coming back with you

129
00:06:30,870 --> 00:06:32,746
Why won't she go with him?

130
00:06:32,997 --> 00:06:36,625
I don't know. Maybe it's
because he's not that handsome

131
00:06:36,793 --> 00:06:37,793
Hey

132
00:06:38,503 --> 00:06:39,669
Don't listen

133
00:06:43,132 --> 00:06:45,759
So what is going on?

134
00:06:45,843 --> 00:06:48,553
That does seem to be the
question doesn't it?

135
00:06:48,971 --> 00:06:54,017
"Hey, this is messed up, bro.
Who is this weird lady?'

136
00:06:58,731 --> 00:07:01,316
So, who knows what's going on?
Anyone?

137
00:07:01,651 --> 00:07:05,445
You, yes, wait. I am very
good intuiting names

138
00:07:05,988 --> 00:07:09,116
Is it Chumbo?

139
00:07:12,161 --> 00:07:15,455
A cross between "dumbo'
and "jumbo

140
00:07:15,540 --> 00:07:16,998
with a hint of "chubby.'

141
00:07:18,126 --> 00:07:19,668
It's not a name

142
00:07:20,086 --> 00:07:21,920
So no one can tell me
what's going on?

143
00:07:22,004 --> 00:07:25,215
Well, let me
illuminate things for you

144
00:07:25,591 --> 00:07:27,467
We are getting to
know each other

145
00:07:28,010 --> 00:07:30,178
"But why, my lady?'

146
00:07:30,930 --> 00:07:33,682
Because I am
your new manager

147
00:07:35,143 --> 00:07:37,602
Robert, is Nellie
our new manager?

148
00:07:38,020 --> 00:07:41,148
This is an odd situation

149
00:07:41,232 --> 00:07:44,776
But it's very interesting
how it's playing out.

150
00:07:45,278 --> 00:07:48,947
We live in this world
of routines and rhythms

151
00:07:49,031 --> 00:07:52,451
Kevin ate someone's lunch,
Phyllis has a new necklace

152
00:07:53,578 --> 00:07:55,245
Who is this woman?

153
00:07:55,872 --> 00:07:59,291
I came in here simply trying to
get to know you learn your names,

154
00:07:59,375 --> 00:08:01,585
maybe have someone teach me
the company song.

155
00:08:01,836 --> 00:08:05,464
And what I got in return
was nothing but disrespect

156
00:08:05,548 --> 00:08:07,090
You leave me no choice

157
00:08:07,175 --> 00:08:08,967
but to get to know you
in a more intimate way

158
00:08:09,051 --> 00:08:10,302
Hot tub party?

159
00:08:10,386 --> 00:08:12,304
Performance reviews

160
00:08:12,388 --> 00:08:15,056
How can you give us performance
reviews if you don't know us?

161
00:08:15,224 --> 00:08:19,352
On first impressions,
so I recommend smiling

162
00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:21,605
It goes a long way with me

163
00:08:23,941 --> 00:08:26,568
Erin, you really
nailed the hotdogs today

164
00:08:26,736 --> 00:08:30,363
Thanks. I've been reusing the hotdog
water, so it gets more flavor.

165
00:08:30,448 --> 00:08:32,115
It's only going to
keep getting better

166
00:08:34,535 --> 00:08:38,038
So, Andrew, how does your skinny
brunette girlfriend, Jessica,

167
00:08:38,122 --> 00:08:40,916
feel about you
visiting your ex-girlfriend?

168
00:08:45,254 --> 00:08:48,173
Well, we're not
really dating anymore

169
00:08:48,424 --> 00:08:50,509
so basically, I mean I just have to

170
00:08:50,593 --> 00:08:52,636
cross a few t's and dot
a few I's you know.

171
00:08:53,554 --> 00:08:57,057
So you came to get me but you
still have a girlfriend.

172
00:08:57,558 --> 00:09:00,018
I think you should leave
young man

173
00:09:00,102 --> 00:09:05,106
All right, technically yes. I am
still technically dating Jessica

174
00:09:05,358 --> 00:09:07,567
But when I realized
that I wanted you back

175
00:09:08,694 --> 00:09:10,612
and I drove down here

176
00:09:10,696 --> 00:09:12,948
and I didn't want to stop
until I saw you

177
00:09:14,075 --> 00:09:16,826
You didn't even stop to pee?
Gross!

178
00:09:17,411 --> 00:09:18,370
Any luck?

179
00:09:18,454 --> 00:09:22,040
No, he just keeps letting all
the calls go to voice-mail.

180
00:09:22,708 --> 00:09:25,627
Please leave a message

181
00:09:25,711 --> 00:09:28,880
for Andy Bernard
Include your name...

182
00:09:30,132 --> 00:09:33,885
Oh, you're doing so good! Oh, my
God, you're Superman over there

183
00:09:35,096 --> 00:09:36,221
You should take it

184
00:09:36,305 --> 00:09:39,057
It's probably your girlfriend
wondering where you are.

185
00:09:39,141 --> 00:09:41,184
Nope, It's just work
Not important

186
00:09:41,269 --> 00:09:43,103
You know I can really
feel this in my quads.

187
00:09:43,187 --> 00:09:44,563
Getting stronger

188
00:09:44,647 --> 00:09:48,066
You really wouldn't feel those
kinds of results after one session

189
00:09:50,403 --> 00:09:52,112
Just let it vibrate
It's fine.

190
00:09:52,196 --> 00:09:54,072
You could put it
on silent.

191
00:09:54,156 --> 00:09:55,740
I don't think
it does that

192
00:09:55,825 --> 00:09:57,659
Just go to preferences
then click...

193
00:09:57,743 --> 00:09:58,785
Proctology

194
00:09:59,161 --> 00:10:00,287
Andy?

195
00:10:00,913 --> 00:10:01,913
Jim?

196
00:10:01,998 --> 00:10:02,998
Andy, where are you?

197
00:10:04,750 --> 00:10:07,669
I'm home in bed
I've been in bed all day

198
00:10:11,173 --> 00:10:14,593
He's here in Tallahassee trying
to turn my life upside down.

199
00:10:15,011 --> 00:10:17,012
What? You're in Florida?

200
00:10:17,096 --> 00:10:19,306
Andy, Nellie Bertram's
trying to take your job.

201
00:10:19,390 --> 00:10:20,640
What do you mean
take my job?

202
00:10:20,725 --> 00:10:22,017
Like, set up camp
in your office

203
00:10:22,101 --> 00:10:23,143
and is calling
herself the manager.

204
00:10:23,227 --> 00:10:24,519
Okay

205
00:10:24,604 --> 00:10:26,938
Jim, I really appreciate
you looking out for me

206
00:10:27,023 --> 00:10:29,691
but I'm not coming home
without Erin

207
00:10:29,859 --> 00:10:31,026
So, I'll talk to you later

208
00:10:32,361 --> 00:10:33,486
Guys

209
00:10:34,697 --> 00:10:37,157
We cannot do these
performance reviews okay?

210
00:10:37,241 --> 00:10:38,450
If we go into them
you're basically

211
00:10:38,534 --> 00:10:39,826
accepting Nellie
as your manager

212
00:10:39,910 --> 00:10:42,037
And trust me You do not
want her as your manager

213
00:10:42,455 --> 00:10:43,496
Trust you?

214
00:10:43,581 --> 00:10:47,208
The way Pam trusted you to provide for
her so she wouldn't have to work?

215
00:10:49,378 --> 00:10:50,920
Dwight
should she be our manager?

216
00:10:51,422 --> 00:10:53,798
I wouldn't let her
manage a celery farm

217
00:10:53,883 --> 00:10:56,343
Those who can't farm
farm celery

218
00:10:56,844 --> 00:10:59,846
And when was the last time Dwight
and I agreed on anything ever?

219
00:11:01,057 --> 00:11:02,849
All right
let's get going

220
00:11:02,933 --> 00:11:07,479
First up, it is the woman with the
beautiful fingernails and the tiny feet

221
00:11:07,938 --> 00:11:09,230
Phyllis

222
00:11:10,900 --> 00:11:12,984
Nellie, I'm sorry,
but I don't feel comfortable

223
00:11:13,069 --> 00:11:15,153
being evaluated by
someone I don't know

224
00:11:15,237 --> 00:11:16,321
Oh

225
00:11:16,405 --> 00:11:19,658
Okay. I understand. Let me show
you how these are going to go

226
00:11:20,201 --> 00:11:21,159
Dwight

227
00:11:21,243 --> 00:11:23,953
I refuse to be judged by
someone that I do not respect

228
00:11:24,038 --> 00:11:25,330
I lost respect for you
in Florida.

229
00:11:25,414 --> 00:11:27,624
If it was up to me,
you would be in jail forever

230
00:11:27,708 --> 00:11:30,669
Dwight, I have
completed your evaluation

231
00:11:30,753 --> 00:11:31,836
You're getting a raise

232
00:11:31,921 --> 00:11:32,962
What?

233
00:11:33,047 --> 00:11:37,884
Dwight, you carry this company
on your massive shoulders.

234
00:11:37,968 --> 00:11:40,720
You are our Atlas

235
00:11:40,805 --> 00:11:43,556
and for that do you not
think you deserve a raise?

236
00:11:44,100 --> 00:11:45,850
There's no limit to
what I think I deserve

237
00:11:45,935 --> 00:11:46,935
Then you accept it?

238
00:11:47,353 --> 00:11:48,478
Five percent, no less

239
00:11:48,604 --> 00:11:49,771
Absolutely not

240
00:11:49,939 --> 00:11:51,064
Seven percent

241
00:11:51,148 --> 00:11:52,482
Six percent
I know my worth

242
00:11:53,109 --> 00:11:54,109
Raise isn't real

243
00:11:54,235 --> 00:11:56,361
Money isn't real ever since
we got off the gold standard

244
00:11:57,613 --> 00:11:59,698
So, Phyllis, now you know
the rules of the game,

245
00:11:59,782 --> 00:12:03,660
do you care to have a go? I'm fairly
certain you're going to like it.

246
00:12:04,453 --> 00:12:05,704
Phyllis

247
00:12:06,330 --> 00:12:07,414
Pam

248
00:12:10,084 --> 00:12:13,461
So, Phyllis, I have been
very impressed with you.

249
00:12:14,296 --> 00:12:15,922
Really?
Oh, yeah

250
00:12:16,006 --> 00:12:18,967
The way you conquered your
fear and came in here,

251
00:12:19,051 --> 00:12:21,010
and now the way
you sit there.

252
00:12:23,013 --> 00:12:24,639
All very impressive

253
00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:27,726
Um

254
00:12:29,145 --> 00:12:32,147
Are you aware that Nellie
is giving out raises?

255
00:12:35,901 --> 00:12:38,278
Yeah, she gave one
to Dwight, Phyllis

256
00:12:38,988 --> 00:12:40,572
Let me guess,
you want one, too

257
00:12:40,656 --> 00:12:42,699
Take the family
to Disney Town

258
00:12:42,908 --> 00:12:43,908
Land! World

259
00:12:44,326 --> 00:12:46,786
It's not that I don't want Well,
yes, I guess I'd take a raise.

260
00:12:46,871 --> 00:12:48,246
That's not what I'm saying
That's not... Sorry.

261
00:12:48,330 --> 00:12:53,460
Jim, I told Andy to come in
and yet he is still not in.

262
00:12:54,044 --> 00:12:59,299
By contrast, Nellie Bertram
saw a vacuum and filled it

263
00:12:59,842 --> 00:13:02,510
of her business experience

264
00:13:02,595 --> 00:13:06,014
or her relationship
with Jo Bennett, my boss

265
00:13:06,140 --> 00:13:09,017
Jim, would you prefer a nature
metaphor or a sexual metaphor?

266
00:13:09,101 --> 00:13:10,268
Oh, God, nature, please

267
00:13:10,352 --> 00:13:12,312
When two animals
are having sex,

268
00:13:12,396 --> 00:13:15,774
one of them is communicating
a message to the other.

269
00:13:15,858 --> 00:13:18,026
Nothing is
This isn't very helpful

270
00:13:18,402 --> 00:13:20,487
You're going to want
to hear the sexual metaphor

271
00:13:20,571 --> 00:13:21,571
Was that not the

272
00:13:21,655 --> 00:13:24,991
All life is sex

273
00:13:25,576 --> 00:13:28,453
And all sex is competition

274
00:13:28,621 --> 00:13:29,746
Mmm-hmm

275
00:13:29,830 --> 00:13:31,790
And there are no
rules to that game

276
00:13:32,541 --> 00:13:34,501
That wasn't so perverted
now was it?

277
00:13:34,585 --> 00:13:36,211
Was that it?
No, that wasn't bad

278
00:13:36,295 --> 00:13:42,008
My point is there is one person in
charge of every office in America.

279
00:13:42,092 --> 00:13:44,469
And that person
is Charles Darwin

280
00:13:44,553 --> 00:13:48,348
In the end, doesn't he
decide who the manager is?

281
00:13:52,812 --> 00:13:55,563
No. I would have said no

282
00:13:58,234 --> 00:14:01,277
Hmm. Let's see. Review, review,
review Yes, good stuff.

283
00:14:01,362 --> 00:14:02,695
Here you go, have a raise

284
00:14:02,822 --> 00:14:04,155
Oh, great

285
00:14:04,824 --> 00:14:07,951
and take these raises,
what are we saying?

286
00:14:08,202 --> 00:14:11,204
That it's okay for someone to
just take someone else's job?

287
00:14:11,288 --> 00:14:12,580
Shouldn't work like that

288
00:14:12,873 --> 00:14:15,166
No, you know what?
Nellie's right.

289
00:14:15,251 --> 00:14:17,502
That is exactly
how it should work

290
00:14:17,962 --> 00:14:20,004
Darryl,
this office is mine now

291
00:14:20,089 --> 00:14:25,426
No.
Yes

292
00:14:25,511 --> 00:14:29,138
Yes. Sorry it's too late, I'm here.
This is mine. Back off

293
00:14:30,558 --> 00:14:31,850
Ow! Ow

294
00:14:32,017 --> 00:14:35,436
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow

295
00:14:41,235 --> 00:14:43,528
Well fought!
I accept the outcome

296
00:14:47,199 --> 00:14:48,533
Touch me and I'll sue

297
00:14:52,162 --> 00:14:53,830
I've heard that's
amazing when it works

298
00:14:53,956 --> 00:14:55,039
Yeah. If I had my own

299
00:14:55,124 --> 00:14:56,583
Andy, I care about
you and I think...

300
00:14:57,543 --> 00:14:58,543
Sorry. You go

301
00:14:58,669 --> 00:14:59,669
No, go ahead

302
00:14:59,753 --> 00:15:01,588
Well I was just
going to say that

303
00:15:01,672 --> 00:15:03,339
if I had my own fountain
it would be two frogs

304
00:15:03,424 --> 00:15:05,425
and they're spitting
into each other's mouth

305
00:15:05,509 --> 00:15:08,303
It's just stupid. What
were you going to say?

306
00:15:08,596 --> 00:15:10,179
Andy, you broke my heart

307
00:15:10,931 --> 00:15:14,601
Do you know what it feels like
to be constantly rejected by you

308
00:15:14,685 --> 00:15:18,187
and to have to watch
you date someone else?

309
00:15:18,522 --> 00:15:19,898
You broke my heart, too

310
00:15:19,982 --> 00:15:23,985
You broke my heart more
recently and more often.

311
00:15:25,321 --> 00:15:29,032
And I think at some point in my
head it just sort of clicked

312
00:15:29,116 --> 00:15:31,200
that we're not
meant to be.

313
00:15:35,748 --> 00:15:39,292
I'm so sorry that we have not loved
each other at the same time.

314
00:15:59,229 --> 00:16:01,272
So, Pamela, I'm going to
start this review

315
00:16:01,357 --> 00:16:03,399
not by telling you
what you lack

316
00:16:03,484 --> 00:16:06,527
but rather asking you
what it is you want

317
00:16:07,029 --> 00:16:09,072
Really? Okay, we

318
00:16:09,531 --> 00:16:10,615
Um

319
00:16:10,991 --> 00:16:16,287
I like consistency in the manager's
position No weird silent coups

320
00:16:16,372 --> 00:16:17,664
Stuff like that
I'm easy

321
00:16:17,748 --> 00:16:18,998
That's not
really what you want

322
00:16:19,083 --> 00:16:22,377
What you want is a good night's
sleep, working mother of two

323
00:16:22,461 --> 00:16:23,586
Whoa

324
00:16:23,671 --> 00:16:27,757
That's kind of condescending Would
you say something like that to Jim?

325
00:16:27,841 --> 00:16:30,218
Does Jim
have to breastfeed?

326
00:16:30,427 --> 00:16:34,347
Did Jim carry around those babies
for what is it, 12 months?

327
00:16:34,431 --> 00:16:36,224
Be honest Does Jim really
get up in the night?

328
00:16:36,642 --> 00:16:40,520
Well, I mean, the only reason he
doesn't is because I'm breastfeeding

329
00:16:40,604 --> 00:16:42,480
and Philip
doesn't like a bottle

330
00:16:42,564 --> 00:16:44,399
You must be exhausted

331
00:16:45,526 --> 00:16:46,567
Fancy a nap?

332
00:16:47,486 --> 00:16:48,486
No

333
00:16:48,570 --> 00:16:50,363
Go on. Have a nap

334
00:16:54,034 --> 00:16:56,160
Lie down right here

335
00:16:57,246 --> 00:16:59,372
There's a blanket in here

336
00:17:02,543 --> 00:17:05,753
Dreamt I could breathe
underwater like Jacques Cousteau

337
00:17:09,550 --> 00:17:11,175
No one will know

338
00:17:12,428 --> 00:17:14,095
I'll wake you up

339
00:17:17,099 --> 00:17:20,101
When you wake up,
you will earn more money

340
00:17:25,274 --> 00:17:29,610
I think you're amazing
You know that, right?

341
00:17:31,613 --> 00:17:35,366
Go on. Say it,
"I'm amazing.'

342
00:17:36,535 --> 00:17:38,077
I'm amazing

343
00:17:47,504 --> 00:17:50,840
Erin, I think you're making
a big mistake right now

344
00:17:52,009 --> 00:17:53,718
Andy is a nice boy

345
00:17:53,886 --> 00:17:57,305
Really? Because you've been kind
of a "B" to him all afternoon

346
00:17:57,723 --> 00:18:00,850
I was protecting you because
I thought he was no good

347
00:18:01,226 --> 00:18:03,478
But I can tell
you really like him

348
00:18:03,854 --> 00:18:05,813
And he's willing to
lose his job for you

349
00:18:06,148 --> 00:18:08,441
In this economy,
with Europe on the brink

350
00:18:08,525 --> 00:18:10,860
Irene what would
you do without me?

351
00:18:10,944 --> 00:18:13,446
We're not your concern
sweetheart

352
00:18:14,156 --> 00:18:16,741
Besides, Glenn's
going to sue Home Depot

353
00:18:16,867 --> 00:18:17,867
Why?

354
00:18:18,118 --> 00:18:21,412
He got his foreskin caught
in some lawn furniture.

355
00:18:22,206 --> 00:18:24,248
Jim, time for
your review.

356
00:18:24,333 --> 00:18:26,834
No, it's not, because you
don't really work here.

357
00:18:27,002 --> 00:18:29,170
Why are you so
staunchly defending

358
00:18:29,254 --> 00:18:31,589
your friend who
has abandoned you?

359
00:18:32,007 --> 00:18:37,637
Wouldn't you rather come talk with
me maybe, definitely get a raise?

360
00:18:37,721 --> 00:18:38,763
See, that's the thing

361
00:18:38,847 --> 00:18:40,473
can even give raises

362
00:18:40,557 --> 00:18:44,477
Jim, have you ever heard of a
character named Tinker Bell?

363
00:18:45,354 --> 00:18:47,188
Yes
I'm Tinker Bell

364
00:18:47,856 --> 00:18:48,856
No

365
00:18:49,191 --> 00:18:52,902
I'm a magical fairy
who floated into your office

366
00:18:52,986 --> 00:18:58,658
to bring a little bit of magic into
your lives to give you all raises

367
00:18:58,867 --> 00:19:00,493
And we are grateful

368
00:19:00,577 --> 00:19:03,788
But here's the thing
about Tinker Bell, Jim

369
00:19:03,872 --> 00:19:08,084
everyone has to believe in her
or she doesn't exist.

370
00:19:08,210 --> 00:19:09,919
And then she dies.
She dies

371
00:19:11,713 --> 00:19:15,800
Now who here
believes in Tinker Bell?

372
00:19:16,468 --> 00:19:18,177
Let's see it. Show of hands!
I do

373
00:19:21,682 --> 00:19:22,682
Come on, everyone

374
00:19:22,766 --> 00:19:24,058
All right, guys, stop

375
00:19:24,143 --> 00:19:26,018
How?

376
00:19:26,728 --> 00:19:28,521
Come on,
Jim, you're killing her

377
00:19:28,605 --> 00:19:29,647
We believe

378
00:19:30,524 --> 00:19:32,066
We believe

379
00:19:33,861 --> 00:19:36,279
Look at this
wonderful recognition

380
00:19:36,363 --> 00:19:38,739
of Nellie's leadership I believe!

381
00:19:46,081 --> 00:19:48,916
That did not go
how I wanted it to

382
00:19:50,419 --> 00:19:51,586
Ugh

383
00:19:52,296 --> 00:19:55,214
I have a whole ton of Erin's
favorite food for the drive back.

384
00:19:55,299 --> 00:19:56,924
Eggplant parm

385
00:20:00,179 --> 00:20:02,930
It's biodegradable
Animals will eat it

386
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:06,767
Andy, wait! Andy

387
00:20:07,311 --> 00:20:09,228
Andy, wait! Andy, don't go

388
00:20:09,313 --> 00:20:10,938
Andy, I love you! Stop

389
00:20:12,065 --> 00:20:14,901
Oh. This is the wrong Prius
I don't love you.

390
00:20:15,194 --> 00:20:16,277
Erin
I'm sorry.

391
00:20:19,156 --> 00:20:20,531
Andy

392
00:20:35,255 --> 00:20:36,505
Let's get out of here

393
00:20:36,590 --> 00:20:37,548
Okay.
Let's go

394
00:20:37,633 --> 00:20:39,300
Wait, we have to go back
and get your stuff.

395
00:20:39,384 --> 00:20:40,468
No, I don't have
any stuff.

396
00:20:40,469 --> 00:20:42,303
Like your toothbrush and stuff.
I don't have one

397
00:20:42,429 --> 00:20:44,305
You don't have a toothbrush? No

398
00:20:46,808 --> 00:20:48,226
How do you not
have a toothbrush?

399
00:20:48,310 --> 00:20:50,061
I just there's
always one around.

400
00:20:50,145 --> 00:20:51,229
You just use whichever
one is sitting there?

401
00:20:52,356 --> 00:20:53,981
Have you ever heard
of buying a toothbrush?

402
00:20:54,066 --> 00:20:56,859
Of course,
I own my toothbrush

403
00:20:58,779 --> 00:21:03,407
I grew up poor. I had little
formal education, no real skills.

404
00:21:04,117 --> 00:21:05,743
I don't work
especially hard

405
00:21:05,827 --> 00:21:09,413
and most of my ideas are either
unoriginal or total crap.

406
00:21:09,498 --> 00:21:12,583
And yet, I walked right into a job

407
00:21:12,668 --> 00:21:15,461
for which I was
ill-prepared, ill-suited,

408
00:21:15,671 --> 00:21:19,090
and somebody else already
had, and I got it.

409
00:21:20,008 --> 00:21:23,302
If you ask me, that's the
American dream right there

410
00:21:23,845 --> 00:21:26,222
Anything can happen
to anyone.

411
00:21:27,349 --> 00:21:29,016
It's just random

412
00:21:30,285 --> 00:21:40,285
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