1
00:00:01,217 --> 00:00:03,302
No, no, no
no, no, no, no

2
00:00:04,596 --> 00:00:07,181
No, no, no, no
no, no, no, no.

3
00:00:07,891 --> 00:00:08,891
No

4
00:00:08,975 --> 00:00:10,601
Okay, fine

5
00:00:10,685 --> 00:00:13,062
Ryan, is something the matter?
Yeah

6
00:00:14,689 --> 00:00:15,898
Smokey's dead

7
00:00:16,316 --> 00:00:18,442
Smokey the Bear?

8
00:00:18,610 --> 00:00:20,110
Smokey Robinson, Pam

9
00:00:20,195 --> 00:00:21,695
He died like
an hour ago

10
00:00:21,780 --> 00:00:22,946
I guess I'm the
first to know

11
00:00:23,531 --> 00:00:25,741
Wow, that's terrible
I really liked him.

12
00:00:25,825 --> 00:00:27,826
Oh, you liked him?
That's nice.

13
00:00:27,911 --> 00:00:31,246
Did you like when he changed the course of
American music like, two or three times?

14
00:00:31,331 --> 00:00:33,332
Did you like that
Tracks of My Tears

15
00:00:33,416 --> 00:00:35,918
is maybe the last true
love song ever written?

16
00:00:36,002 --> 00:00:37,419
I'm glad you
like him, Jim

17
00:00:37,504 --> 00:00:39,505
devastated right now

18
00:00:39,964 --> 00:00:42,466
Well, I second that emotion.
Huh?

19
00:00:42,759 --> 00:00:44,885
I know a few of his songs,
but what were his big ones?

20
00:00:44,969 --> 00:00:47,304
Oh, God, Nellie.
What wasn't his?

21
00:00:47,388 --> 00:00:49,264
Tracks of My Tears.

22
00:00:49,516 --> 00:00:50,766
Yeah

23
00:00:50,850 --> 00:00:52,101
God, so many, Nellie

24
00:00:52,185 --> 00:00:53,602
No, no, no

25
00:00:53,686 --> 00:00:55,521
Tracks of My Tears
and what else?

26
00:00:55,605 --> 00:00:57,940
What are some more?
What's one more?

27
00:00:59,234 --> 00:01:02,361
Okay, I'm not I'm not playing
this game, Pam. Not today

28
00:01:02,737 --> 00:01:04,404
I don't think you love
Smokey Robinson.

29
00:01:04,489 --> 00:01:07,616
All of this to prove how
deep you are about music

30
00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:11,411
Okay, I'm sorry that I'm not a fan
of Jason Mraz or the Beatles.

31
00:01:11,496 --> 00:01:12,663
You don't like
the Beatles?

32
00:01:12,747 --> 00:01:13,956
That's not the point

33
00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:15,833
Eleanor Rigby?
Paperback Writer?

34
00:01:15,917 --> 00:01:18,293
You always think you have time to
see these legends before they go.

35
00:01:18,378 --> 00:01:19,670
What was I so
busy doing?

36
00:01:19,796 --> 00:01:22,923
It says here the Smokey
Robinson dead thing is a hoax

37
00:01:23,007 --> 00:01:24,716
It's on CNN as of
two minutes ago.

38
00:01:26,594 --> 00:01:28,554
Okay, well
That's a relief

39
00:01:29,055 --> 00:01:30,097
Wow, look at that

40
00:01:30,181 --> 00:01:32,266
Says he's actually
playing State College

41
00:01:32,350 --> 00:01:33,559
That's only three
hours away

42
00:01:34,269 --> 00:01:36,895
Oh, my God, Ryan
that's perfect.

43
00:01:36,980 --> 00:01:38,105
You have to go

44
00:01:38,189 --> 00:01:39,731
Tickets are
250 bucks.

45
00:01:40,108 --> 00:01:44,236
$250 is nothing to the world's
biggest Smokey Robinson fan

46
00:01:45,405 --> 00:01:46,530
Yeah

47
00:01:47,407 --> 00:01:49,616
Who's opening?
Paul Anka

48
00:01:49,701 --> 00:01:51,034
Paul Anka?

49
00:01:51,911 --> 00:01:54,663
How can they make the Smoke Man
play with someone like that?

50
00:01:56,583 --> 00:01:58,000
Okay, you could just
show up late, though

51
00:01:58,168 --> 00:01:59,501
How much is parking
like, 30 bucks?

52
00:01:59,586 --> 00:02:01,503
That's not what Smokey
would have wanted

53
00:02:01,588 --> 00:02:03,005
Does want

54
00:02:03,089 --> 00:02:05,507
Tears of a Clown. Don't
call me a clown, Pam

55
00:02:05,592 --> 00:02:06,925
You're better than that

56
00:02:08,050 --> 00:02:14,124
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

57
00:02:34,245 --> 00:02:35,370
Looking good, RC

58
00:02:37,290 --> 00:02:38,790
I feel like I'm
being strangled

59
00:02:38,875 --> 00:02:43,378
like I'm at some erotic
asphyxiation sex club over on I-84.

60
00:02:43,463 --> 00:02:45,297
The Red Room, say
or Dominick's

61
00:02:45,423 --> 00:02:48,217
Robert, the Senator was going
to wear dark brown tonight.

62
00:02:50,386 --> 00:02:51,637
I'm sure it'll be fine

63
00:02:51,721 --> 00:02:55,891
My husband is sponsoring a fundraiser
tonight for local dog shelters

64
00:02:55,975 --> 00:02:59,102
Robert California bought
two tables for everyone here

65
00:02:59,187 --> 00:03:00,771
These people were
lucky to get seats

66
00:03:00,855 --> 00:03:04,691
because it is going to be a who's
who of the northern 22nd district

67
00:03:08,196 --> 00:03:11,031
but there is a distinct chance
that we're all about to be killed

68
00:03:11,115 --> 00:03:12,616
Well, as long as you don't
want to alarm people

69
00:03:12,784 --> 00:03:15,369
What's going on? There's a
disgruntled ex-employee

70
00:03:15,453 --> 00:03:17,204
sitting in his car
in the parking lot

71
00:03:17,288 --> 00:03:18,830
Oh, that's Andy.
He's just hanging out

72
00:03:18,998 --> 00:03:21,083
That's how workplace
tragedies always begin

73
00:03:21,167 --> 00:03:23,919
A middle-aged white
male "hanging out."

74
00:03:24,003 --> 00:03:25,045
Call the cops

75
00:03:25,129 --> 00:03:26,838
Dwight, I don't think he's
going to hurt anybody

76
00:03:26,923 --> 00:03:28,882
How do you know? I mean, why
do you think he's there?

77
00:03:29,008 --> 00:03:30,592
What kind of weapon he has

78
00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:32,344
Could be a knife
could be a gun.

79
00:03:32,428 --> 00:03:35,013
Could be a series of guns, all
lined up to shoot parallel

80
00:03:35,098 --> 00:03:36,556
I'm going up
to the roof.

81
00:03:36,641 --> 00:03:39,184
I'm going to bring my
gym bag just in case

82
00:03:41,854 --> 00:03:45,357
Everybody told me if I moved
to America I'd be murdered.

83
00:03:52,031 --> 00:03:53,615
Hey
Hey

84
00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:56,868
Just wanted to say hi and hear
you say everything's normal

85
00:03:56,953 --> 00:03:59,746
Maybe videotape you saying that so
that everyone upstairs can see?

86
00:04:00,873 --> 00:04:02,541
We think you
might kill Robert

87
00:04:02,625 --> 00:04:03,667
What?

88
00:04:03,751 --> 00:04:07,796
Because he fired you, which means
apparently you're living in your car now.

89
00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:09,464
Guys, everything
is fine.

90
00:04:09,549 --> 00:04:11,925
I'm just here to pick up Erin.
We're going to the fundraiser

91
00:04:12,010 --> 00:04:13,176
Great. That
sounds good

92
00:04:13,261 --> 00:04:14,303
Wait, what?

93
00:04:14,387 --> 00:04:16,305
You're going to the
fundraiser tonight?

94
00:04:16,389 --> 00:04:17,472
That's going to be weird

95
00:04:17,807 --> 00:04:19,016
Why would
that be weird?

96
00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:20,392
It's going to be
super weird.

97
00:04:20,476 --> 00:04:22,311
He just fired
you last week

98
00:04:22,729 --> 00:04:24,354
Andy's just coming
as my date

99
00:04:24,439 --> 00:04:26,815
Hey, I hear you I hope you're right

100
00:04:26,899 --> 00:04:30,902
It just seems like it's going
to be really, really weird

101
00:04:31,404 --> 00:04:33,530
Come in.

102
00:04:35,408 --> 00:04:37,117
You really redid
Andy's office, huh?

103
00:04:37,201 --> 00:04:38,827
Yes, cut out
the clutter.

104
00:04:38,911 --> 00:04:40,954
Very simple,
very minimal

105
00:04:41,372 --> 00:04:43,915
I need you to sign these.
We got a shipment going out

106
00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,376
How are things in
the warehouse?

107
00:04:46,461 --> 00:04:48,128
You could go downstairs
and ask them.

108
00:04:48,588 --> 00:04:50,922
The warehouse
isn't downstairs

109
00:04:52,675 --> 00:04:55,427
Is it?

110
00:04:55,845 --> 00:04:57,429
Who knew, right?

111
00:04:58,598 --> 00:04:59,598
L

112
00:05:00,975 --> 00:05:03,518
Tonight could be the
night that Darryl and I

113
00:05:03,603 --> 00:05:07,773
go from casual work friends
to actual good friends.

114
00:05:08,358 --> 00:05:13,445
The only thing standing in our way is
the contempt he seems to feel for me

115
00:05:16,657 --> 00:05:18,283
Robert, the Senator and
I wanted to stop by.

116
00:05:18,368 --> 00:05:19,826
Hello. Robert.
Robert, how are you?

117
00:05:19,911 --> 00:05:21,328
And say hello
- Hello.

118
00:05:21,412 --> 00:05:24,331
Did anyone order a blast from the
past with a side order of sexy?

119
00:05:25,500 --> 00:05:27,751
Hi, Andy
Oh, man, this is weird

120
00:05:27,835 --> 00:05:29,044
Andrew
Oh

121
00:05:29,629 --> 00:05:31,755
Want to shake
my hand, huh?

122
00:05:32,673 --> 00:05:35,092
Because I want to
shake your body

123
00:05:39,222 --> 00:05:40,764
Where.
Where do I look?

124
00:05:40,848 --> 00:05:43,683
It's been so long since I
did one of these things

125
00:05:43,768 --> 00:05:45,143
Okay, all right

126
00:05:45,228 --> 00:05:47,771
What's the question?
How am I doing? Umm

127
00:05:48,564 --> 00:05:49,815
Great

128
00:05:52,693 --> 00:05:54,236
So, how's the talent?

129
00:05:54,654 --> 00:05:56,988
Grey suit over there
is sending a signal.

130
00:05:57,073 --> 00:05:59,157
Downstairs is receiving

131
00:06:01,869 --> 00:06:02,869
Is that Gabe?

132
00:06:03,496 --> 00:06:04,538
Ladies

133
00:06:05,998 --> 00:06:07,916
How come you look so
decent all of a sudden?

134
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,459
Yeah, normally you
look so stricken

135
00:06:10,586 --> 00:06:11,753
Well, I'm embarrassed

136
00:06:11,838 --> 00:06:13,713
I had to give up
my hair gel

137
00:06:13,798 --> 00:06:16,049
because it was giving me
this angry rash on my scalp

138
00:06:16,384 --> 00:06:18,635
And I just gave up
on this low-protein diet

139
00:06:18,719 --> 00:06:21,012
that I was doing
for eight years, so

140
00:06:21,889 --> 00:06:25,267
Ladies seem to like it, plus I'm getting,
like, half as many bladder infections

141
00:06:25,685 --> 00:06:27,060
Wow
Yeah.

142
00:06:27,061 --> 00:06:29,312
Wow You ladies look
very pretty as well

143
00:06:29,856 --> 00:06:32,107
Thanks
Why is it that things are

144
00:06:32,191 --> 00:06:34,359
their most beautiful
in the autumn of their lives?

145
00:06:37,238 --> 00:06:38,405
You had to say that

146
00:06:38,990 --> 00:06:40,574
Sorry. Sorry.
Thanks

147
00:06:40,658 --> 00:06:41,700
Yeah

148
00:06:41,868 --> 00:06:45,954
Creed, I just bid $20
on six jujitsu lessons

149
00:06:46,372 --> 00:06:48,123
No one's
raping this guy

150
00:06:48,207 --> 00:06:49,791
Well, I don't
want to get raped

151
00:06:51,002 --> 00:06:53,044
No, it was my idea to
not be raped Oh, well.

152
00:06:53,129 --> 00:06:56,131
Wait, you think that
jujitsu classes cost $22?

153
00:06:56,215 --> 00:06:57,466
If you're going to
play guess the price

154
00:06:57,550 --> 00:06:59,301
you might as well try
and be halfway accurate

155
00:06:59,385 --> 00:07:00,844
$180

156
00:07:00,928 --> 00:07:02,179
Whoa

157
00:07:02,263 --> 00:07:03,597
Dwight, I don't think
you understand.

158
00:07:03,681 --> 00:07:05,807
You guess the price
you win the prize

159
00:07:05,892 --> 00:07:08,810
Have you never been
to a Quaker fair before?

160
00:07:10,146 --> 00:07:11,229
God

161
00:07:11,981 --> 00:07:15,442
So, Dwight doesn't
understand silent auctions.

162
00:07:17,069 --> 00:07:20,197
Guy in the office. Huh?

163
00:07:21,407 --> 00:07:24,159
Because up until now
we didn't have one

164
00:07:24,702 --> 00:07:25,744
What haven't I been doing?

165
00:07:26,078 --> 00:07:28,622
Gosh, just today I was working on
this rock opera that I'm writing

166
00:07:28,706 --> 00:07:31,249
although it feels more like I'm
receiving it than writing it

167
00:07:31,626 --> 00:07:33,668
Wow, that's
exciting

168
00:07:34,212 --> 00:07:36,796
But until you firm up the idea, you
might want to keep it between us

169
00:07:36,881 --> 00:07:39,466
The hero lives in
this dystopian future

170
00:07:39,550 --> 00:07:43,637
and he flies around in a spaceship
that's shaped like a treble clef.

171
00:07:44,138 --> 00:07:46,473
And he has to sing his heart
out to destroy all evil

172
00:07:47,099 --> 00:07:48,266
Sounds like you're
doing all right.

173
00:07:48,392 --> 00:07:50,644
A little better than
all right, actually.

174
00:07:51,646 --> 00:07:52,854
Really good

175
00:07:53,105 --> 00:07:54,564
Have you thought about
getting into photography?

176
00:07:54,815 --> 00:07:56,900
Are you kidding me?
'Cause I'm way into it

177
00:07:56,984 --> 00:07:58,693
What are you
taking pictures of?

178
00:07:58,778 --> 00:07:59,819
Children?
Yes

179
00:07:59,904 --> 00:08:01,029
Homeless people?
Yes

180
00:08:01,113 --> 00:08:02,697
'Cause in a way
they're more real

181
00:08:02,782 --> 00:08:04,533
than the rest of us!
The rest of us

182
00:08:05,034 --> 00:08:07,077
This guy's
having a breakdown

183
00:08:07,245 --> 00:08:10,622
You know, Oscar, I really had no idea that
you were so passionate about animals.

184
00:08:10,748 --> 00:08:12,415
My dog, Gerald is my life.
Really?

185
00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:14,251
Well, if you want to
get involved, call me

186
00:08:14,961 --> 00:08:16,253
This is my cell

187
00:08:16,963 --> 00:08:20,340
I'm more likely to
pick up at night, say

188
00:08:21,926 --> 00:08:23,301
after 9:00

189
00:08:24,929 --> 00:08:26,263
Excuse me

190
00:08:26,847 --> 00:08:28,056
This confirms three things

191
00:08:28,140 --> 00:08:32,185
I'm right about the Senator, I
still got it and poor Angela.

192
00:08:33,312 --> 00:08:34,938
Got the flowers.

193
00:08:35,314 --> 00:08:37,023
That piece is
so predictable

194
00:08:37,650 --> 00:08:39,568
Daffodils in spring I wonder what's next

195
00:08:39,652 --> 00:08:40,652
mistletoe at Christmas?

196
00:08:41,654 --> 00:08:42,654
Yeah

197
00:08:42,738 --> 00:08:45,031
Oh! It says, "You're welcome
to take this home.'

198
00:08:45,783 --> 00:08:46,783
Oh

199
00:08:47,326 --> 00:08:50,620
Sweetie, you don't want that Even
in your house, it's a little much.

200
00:08:52,164 --> 00:08:53,164
Have you ever been
to our house?

201
00:08:53,249 --> 00:08:55,333
Not exactly,
but I know the Flats

202
00:08:57,253 --> 00:08:59,379
I'm going to say what
everyone is afraid to say

203
00:09:00,298 --> 00:09:01,548
Phyllis is a bully

204
00:09:02,216 --> 00:09:04,676
A big, beautiful bully

205
00:09:05,428 --> 00:09:07,387
And she is not
getting that centerpiece

206
00:09:08,472 --> 00:09:10,557
Step in right
away and start

207
00:09:10,641 --> 00:09:12,225
Bobby, Bobbo

208
00:09:12,727 --> 00:09:13,935
You're a rock
opera guy, right?

209
00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:15,562
You like rock operas
Well

210
00:09:15,646 --> 00:09:17,105
You've got to check out
this thing I'm working on

211
00:09:17,189 --> 00:09:18,189
It's really cool

212
00:09:18,274 --> 00:09:19,899
There's this character
Thomas Oregon

213
00:09:19,984 --> 00:09:22,944
and he wants to destroy all
the guitars in the world

214
00:09:23,029 --> 00:09:28,199
because he realizes that music is
the one thing he can't control

215
00:09:29,535 --> 00:09:31,995
So, Thomas Oregon
is an evil figure

216
00:09:32,079 --> 00:09:33,288
Evil

217
00:09:34,457 --> 00:09:36,166
Although he's
humanized at the end

218
00:09:36,250 --> 00:09:39,586
because he weeps uncontrollably
and pees in his pants.

219
00:09:40,212 --> 00:09:42,172
And the hero
who is that based on?

220
00:09:42,548 --> 00:09:44,090
Me, I guess

221
00:09:45,176 --> 00:09:48,303
We're flying so high
we're cracking the sky

222
00:09:48,596 --> 00:09:52,641
Going to fly out of this
dome My girlfriend and I

223
00:09:55,394 --> 00:09:57,729
Hey, jabroni,
show some class

224
00:09:58,147 --> 00:09:59,981
She's right, Andy
You're being a jabroni

225
00:10:00,066 --> 00:10:01,483
You're being a
Thomas Oregon

226
00:10:02,318 --> 00:10:03,652
Andrew

227
00:10:05,404 --> 00:10:07,822
I think this may have
been a bad idea.

228
00:10:08,532 --> 00:10:10,992
Why don't you let me
pay for you and Erin

229
00:10:11,077 --> 00:10:13,995
to go out to a great
romantic dinner tonight?

230
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,748
Don't need you to pay for me.
I'm doing just fine, thank you.

231
00:10:16,832 --> 00:10:19,626
Why don't you quit
harshing our mellow?

232
00:10:20,211 --> 00:10:22,295
Andy, you should leave

233
00:10:22,380 --> 00:10:23,421
Now

234
00:10:25,383 --> 00:10:26,675
Excuse me

235
00:10:26,759 --> 00:10:30,261
I would like to purchase two
seats at another table, please.

236
00:10:30,346 --> 00:10:32,347
I'm sorry. The tables are
sold as complete units.

237
00:10:32,765 --> 00:10:34,683
Then I'll take a table

238
00:10:34,767 --> 00:10:35,767
Okay

239
00:10:35,851 --> 00:10:37,435
And a high five

240
00:10:38,604 --> 00:10:40,397
Let's do that again

241
00:10:43,109 --> 00:10:45,443
Well, I just give a
dollar to every charity

242
00:10:45,528 --> 00:10:47,320
That way, you get all the
mail, all the calendars.

243
00:10:47,405 --> 00:10:49,781
You can't believe how much
you get just for a buck

244
00:10:50,449 --> 00:10:52,742
It's also nice to know
you're making a difference

245
00:10:53,244 --> 00:10:54,828
Jim and I give
to the Red Cross

246
00:10:55,121 --> 00:10:56,913
Are you sure you
ought to be giving?

247
00:10:56,997 --> 00:10:59,207
I mean, with your
financial situation

248
00:10:59,625 --> 00:11:00,792
Excuse me?

249
00:11:02,128 --> 00:11:06,381
You ladies are as tangy as the salad
dressing over there. I love it.

250
00:11:07,174 --> 00:11:08,925
Oh, yes indeed

251
00:11:10,136 --> 00:11:11,219
When

252
00:11:12,638 --> 00:11:14,764
Whoa
Whoa, whoa, whoa

253
00:11:14,849 --> 00:11:16,641
Forgot a few salads

254
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:28,903
When

255
00:11:29,739 --> 00:11:33,825
I stumbled into a
very dramatic situation

256
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:36,494
Here, let me move this
so you can see him.

257
00:11:37,580 --> 00:11:38,580
Pam

258
00:11:39,999 --> 00:11:41,458
Pam.
Yeah

259
00:11:41,834 --> 00:11:43,668
Angela's husband
just hit on me.

260
00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:46,504
Oh, my God I know.

261
00:11:46,589 --> 00:11:47,714
Wait, what? Come on

262
00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:50,091
We were talking
about animals

263
00:11:51,218 --> 00:11:52,886
He gives me his
cell phone number

264
00:11:52,970 --> 00:11:54,262
He was just dying
for me to have it.

265
00:11:54,346 --> 00:11:57,682
Okay, Oscar, I'm not saying
you're not dreamy because you are

266
00:11:57,767 --> 00:12:00,560
but isn't it possible that he
was just schmoozing a voter?

267
00:12:01,020 --> 00:12:03,480
Well, if you would have
seen the look he gave me

268
00:12:03,564 --> 00:12:05,190
He wanted to rock
more than just my vote

269
00:12:05,274 --> 00:12:06,357
Okay

270
00:12:06,442 --> 00:12:07,650
What was this look?

271
00:12:10,446 --> 00:12:11,488
Whoa

272
00:12:11,614 --> 00:12:13,281
What happened? Did he do it?
Are you

273
00:12:13,365 --> 00:12:15,200
Twice. For real?

274
00:12:15,284 --> 00:12:17,619
Okay, guys. Not every glance
means something, all right?

275
00:12:17,703 --> 00:12:18,703
Life isn't Downton Abbey.

276
00:12:18,788 --> 00:12:20,079
Life is Downton Abbey.

277
00:12:20,164 --> 00:12:21,164
Here's what
I'm going to do

278
00:12:21,290 --> 00:12:22,665
I'm going to go over there
I'm going to talk to him

279
00:12:22,750 --> 00:12:24,751
And I guarantee you he gives out
his cell phone to everybody

280
00:12:34,220 --> 00:12:38,181
How much do you guys charge for
one full-year gym membership?

281
00:12:39,809 --> 00:12:41,142
Thank you

282
00:12:44,063 --> 00:12:45,647
It's $475

283
00:12:47,399 --> 00:12:49,317
Like candy from a baby

284
00:12:54,740 --> 00:12:57,158
That's the third time you've
asked me about my strategy

285
00:12:57,243 --> 00:12:59,953
It's called "Guess the Price, '
strategy's in the name.

286
00:13:00,830 --> 00:13:02,831
Simplest game since
"Touch the Rock."

287
00:13:03,874 --> 00:13:05,291
Three-time champion

288
00:13:05,376 --> 00:13:07,836
Almost four, but
I touched the wood

289
00:13:10,923 --> 00:13:11,965
Hey

290
00:13:13,884 --> 00:13:15,677
David Wallace?
Andy Bernard?

291
00:13:15,803 --> 00:13:17,637
Hey, how are you? How you doing?
I'm great.

292
00:13:17,721 --> 00:13:19,347
How are you doing? Are you
still with Dunder Mifflin?

293
00:13:19,473 --> 00:13:21,015
No, got canned last week

294
00:13:21,725 --> 00:13:22,809
Oh. I'm sorry
to hear that.

295
00:13:22,893 --> 00:13:24,352
No, best thing that
ever happened to me

296
00:13:24,436 --> 00:13:25,562
That's the attitude
to have.

297
00:13:25,646 --> 00:13:28,189
You know what? When I got
canned I was lost, right?

298
00:13:28,274 --> 00:13:32,110
I poured myself into this ridiculous
vacuum for toys called Suck It.

299
00:13:32,486 --> 00:13:34,404
Yikes.
Yeah, exactly, right?

300
00:13:34,488 --> 00:13:35,530
Then suddenly
out of nowhere

301
00:13:35,614 --> 00:13:39,117
the US Military bought the
patent from me for $20 million

302
00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:41,870
Point is,
forget those guys

303
00:13:41,954 --> 00:13:42,996
Okay? Move on

304
00:13:44,164 --> 00:13:45,540
Good to see you, Andy

305
00:13:50,671 --> 00:13:54,465
Call me a lay man, but I wish
there was some real food here

306
00:13:54,842 --> 00:13:56,885
You know
like hamburgers

307
00:13:58,429 --> 00:14:01,890
or Oreos,
or a pizza pie, or

308
00:14:02,808 --> 00:14:05,643
What's another food that we like?
Tacos

309
00:14:05,728 --> 00:14:10,690
What I wouldn't give
for a big mess of tacos

310
00:14:10,774 --> 00:14:12,025
Tacos.
Right now

311
00:14:12,109 --> 00:14:13,735
some tacos.

312
00:14:13,819 --> 00:14:14,903
Brilliant

313
00:14:15,321 --> 00:14:16,446
If you loan me
some money

314
00:14:16,530 --> 00:14:18,281
Yes, I can do that

315
00:14:19,617 --> 00:14:23,828
For two tacos we
probably need about

316
00:14:24,622 --> 00:14:28,374
what, $20?
Or $25? 20

317
00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:29,751
30.
$30

318
00:14:29,835 --> 00:14:31,544
Yes, yes

319
00:14:32,171 --> 00:14:33,630
I've never eaten a taco

320
00:14:33,714 --> 00:14:35,757
I'm not entirely sure
what they are.

321
00:14:35,841 --> 00:14:40,178
As long as they're not slimy, and
please, God, don't let them have eyes

322
00:14:44,725 --> 00:14:45,975
So?
Boom

323
00:14:48,729 --> 00:14:49,854
This is interesting

324
00:14:50,940 --> 00:14:52,231
Mm-hmm
What is interesting?

325
00:14:52,316 --> 00:14:54,275
He gives his cell
out to everybody

326
00:14:55,319 --> 00:14:57,487
Or you proved that
he thinks you're gay

327
00:14:57,571 --> 00:14:58,947
He doesn't think
Jim is gay.

328
00:14:59,031 --> 00:15:00,698
A gay man would not leave the
house wearing those shoes

329
00:15:00,824 --> 00:15:03,076
A gay man wouldn't leave the
store wearing those shoes

330
00:15:03,369 --> 00:15:05,370
Hey, you bought
me these shoes.

331
00:15:06,413 --> 00:15:07,747
Wait a second
where's the centerpiece?

332
00:15:07,873 --> 00:15:10,041
So I threw it in the garbage.

333
00:15:10,542 --> 00:15:12,961
Really, Phyllis? You didn't
just put it in your car?

334
00:15:13,045 --> 00:15:14,045
Nope

335
00:15:14,505 --> 00:15:16,172
Which garbage?
It's not there anymore.

336
00:15:16,256 --> 00:15:18,633
A man emptied the garbage
into a bigger garbage

337
00:15:18,717 --> 00:15:20,969
and then I heard someone say
they were locking the garbage

338
00:15:21,470 --> 00:15:22,845
You are out
of control, Phyllis

339
00:15:23,555 --> 00:15:26,391
Come on, sweetie. We both
knew how this was gonna end

340
00:15:30,187 --> 00:15:32,563
Before we bring out
our guest of honor tonight,

341
00:15:32,648 --> 00:15:37,819
we are very proud to introduce a great
philanthropist, and a great guy,

342
00:15:38,153 --> 00:15:39,821
Robert California.

343
00:15:45,744 --> 00:15:46,869
Thank you.

344
00:15:46,954 --> 00:15:49,038
Why do we love dogs?

345
00:15:49,832 --> 00:15:51,666
Want me to tell you why?

346
00:15:51,750 --> 00:15:53,376
There is no answer.

347
00:15:53,460 --> 00:15:56,963
Our love for them
confounds reason.

348
00:15:57,673 --> 00:15:58,965
Do you believe this guy?

349
00:15:59,049 --> 00:16:01,926
The State Senator Robert
Lip\ton loves dogs.

350
00:16:02,428 --> 00:16:04,762
He asked me if I loved dogs.

351
00:16:05,723 --> 00:16:07,348
You know what I said?

352
00:16:07,433 --> 00:16:08,474
Yes.

353
00:16:09,977 --> 00:16:12,478
Not a joke. That,
that was not even a joke

354
00:16:12,563 --> 00:16:15,982
Bella here was a
therapy dog for 10 years.

355
00:16:16,066 --> 00:16:20,695
When her owner passed away, she came
to this organization for placement.

356
00:16:20,779 --> 00:16:24,282
But people don't often
adopt older dogs.

357
00:16:24,658 --> 00:16:29,203
So Bella and 11
heroes like her

358
00:16:29,955 --> 00:16:33,708
are being cared for by
our generous volunteers

359
00:16:33,792 --> 00:16:35,835
because, frankly,
nobody else will.

360
00:16:39,256 --> 00:16:42,133
Of those dogs

361
00:16:42,509 --> 00:16:43,968
Andy, that's very
kind, but...

362
00:16:44,053 --> 00:16:48,056
No, no, no This guy can
talk and talk all he wants

363
00:16:48,140 --> 00:16:49,849
but it's not that
complicated.

364
00:16:49,975 --> 00:16:52,477
Andy, why don't we discuss this...
No, no, no. It's about

365
00:16:52,561 --> 00:16:57,023
being there for someone after it's become
inconvenient for them to be around

366
00:16:57,357 --> 00:16:59,150
Hello, everyone.
I'm Andy Bernard

367
00:16:59,234 --> 00:17:03,154
and I am going to take
that bitch home.

368
00:17:05,324 --> 00:17:07,617
That is a female
dog reference.

369
00:17:08,327 --> 00:17:10,536
This bitch
understands loyalty

370
00:17:10,621 --> 00:17:12,080
Sassy human reference

371
00:17:12,164 --> 00:17:14,665
Thank you.
I will take Bella

372
00:17:15,084 --> 00:17:16,084
Aw

373
00:17:16,376 --> 00:17:18,461
And every single
one of her friends

374
00:17:18,545 --> 00:17:19,796
Oh, God

375
00:17:22,674 --> 00:17:23,925
This way

376
00:17:24,009 --> 00:17:26,052
Hope you all learned
something Okay.

377
00:17:28,472 --> 00:17:31,265
Huey's going to need his
medication once every 90 minutes.

378
00:17:31,350 --> 00:17:33,226
You can administer it orally,
but he's going to puke it up

379
00:17:33,310 --> 00:17:34,727
So other end's best

380
00:17:34,978 --> 00:17:38,231
Don't split up Daisy and Mojo
because Daisy will start to...

381
00:17:38,315 --> 00:17:40,942
I was going to say bark
but it's more of a scream

382
00:17:41,068 --> 00:17:43,903
I'm so ready to love
all of these animals

383
00:17:44,196 --> 00:17:46,572
This one's even bonding
with me already.

384
00:17:46,657 --> 00:17:48,407
A therapy dog.

385
00:17:48,492 --> 00:17:50,868
He apparently thinks you're in
some kind of emotional crisis.

386
00:17:53,288 --> 00:17:54,664
Stupid dog

387
00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:58,543
If you would like to talk about this
some more, my door is always open

388
00:17:58,627 --> 00:18:01,212
So here's my office number
and my cell number.

389
00:18:01,296 --> 00:18:02,922
Thank you.
Okay

390
00:18:03,715 --> 00:18:05,258
Well, it looks like he
really did just want

391
00:18:05,342 --> 00:18:07,051
to talk about the issues
I'm sorry, Oscar

392
00:18:07,177 --> 00:18:10,304
No, sorry about what? There's
nothing to be sorry about here.

393
00:18:10,764 --> 00:18:15,184
No, I'm certainly not disappointed that
Angela's husband wasn't hitting on me

394
00:18:15,269 --> 00:18:17,895
I'd have to be a
monster to root for that

395
00:18:17,980 --> 00:18:20,064
A lonely, aging monster

396
00:18:21,733 --> 00:18:23,234
Tacos were on sale

397
00:18:23,402 --> 00:18:24,902
Eight for $3

398
00:18:26,238 --> 00:18:27,738
Oh, great

399
00:18:29,074 --> 00:18:30,158
Okay

400
00:18:30,242 --> 00:18:32,702
Oh. Oh. Oh

401
00:18:32,786 --> 00:18:34,287
These tacos

402
00:18:34,413 --> 00:18:35,913
Mm-hmm
Mmm

403
00:18:37,416 --> 00:18:45,756
Uh.

404
00:18:46,008 --> 00:18:47,008
Mmm

405
00:18:47,342 --> 00:18:49,468
Mmm. Oh

406
00:18:50,387 --> 00:18:51,429
Huh

407
00:18:52,431 --> 00:18:53,431
Mmm

408
00:18:54,641 --> 00:18:56,684
Well, that's hit the spot

409
00:18:56,894 --> 00:18:57,935
Um

410
00:18:58,437 --> 00:18:59,478
Very savory

411
00:19:00,564 --> 00:19:02,523
What do you do with
the crispy holder?

412
00:19:02,608 --> 00:19:04,567
Here, let's try this again

413
00:19:04,818 --> 00:19:06,194
Here, don't put
your finger in

414
00:19:06,278 --> 00:19:07,904
Yeah, just hold it like that.
Hold it to the side

415
00:19:07,988 --> 00:19:09,906
Right
Hold it to the side

416
00:19:09,990 --> 00:19:12,116
Lean it to the side.
Look at me, like this

417
00:19:12,951 --> 00:19:14,452
She's trying

418
00:19:15,204 --> 00:19:18,789
The winner of the three-day
trip to the Skytop Lodge

419
00:19:18,874 --> 00:19:20,875
is Dwight Schrute!

420
00:19:20,959 --> 00:19:22,001
Yes

421
00:19:26,048 --> 00:19:30,259
The year-long membership to
Scranton Bikram Yoga is...

422
00:19:30,802 --> 00:19:31,886
Dwight Schrute!

423
00:19:32,012 --> 00:19:33,304
Oh, yes

424
00:19:34,139 --> 00:19:35,264
Yeah

425
00:19:36,475 --> 00:19:42,688
A one hour appointment with the "Kissing
Magician" goes to Dwight Schrute.

426
00:19:42,773 --> 00:19:45,775
Oh, yeah

427
00:19:46,818 --> 00:19:50,154
Well, I think I can save
us all some time.

428
00:19:50,697 --> 00:19:53,991
Dwight Schrute has
won every single item here.

429
00:19:54,076 --> 00:19:55,534
Thank you very much

430
00:19:55,619 --> 00:19:59,330
All I had to do was look up
the prices, idiots. Suck it

431
00:19:59,414 --> 00:20:03,376
Well, Dwight, yes, you certainly
are a record breaker.

432
00:20:03,919 --> 00:20:07,171
Your donation is the largest
we've ever received

433
00:20:07,256 --> 00:20:10,883
at over $34,000.

434
00:20:17,432 --> 00:20:20,726
Speech

435
00:20:20,811 --> 00:20:22,853
Come on. Speech, speech

436
00:20:36,201 --> 00:20:37,535
Thank you.

437
00:20:39,288 --> 00:20:41,205
Wow, I can't tell you

438
00:20:43,125 --> 00:20:45,918
what an honor it is
to support this

439
00:20:47,587 --> 00:20:48,713
thing.

440
00:20:49,214 --> 00:20:53,342
And obviously that amount of money
is no concern to me whatsoever.

441
00:20:56,430 --> 00:20:58,597
But I want to ask
you something.

442
00:20:58,724 --> 00:21:02,893
When did it become
all about the money?

443
00:21:03,770 --> 00:21:07,732
When did it become about
the flower arrangements?

444
00:21:08,233 --> 00:21:10,192
And the white
wine spritzers?

445
00:21:10,277 --> 00:21:11,319
Hmm?

446
00:21:11,403 --> 00:21:13,529
And all the dinner rolls?

447
00:21:13,613 --> 00:21:15,489
You people should be
ashamed of yourselves.

448
00:21:15,574 --> 00:21:18,075
How many courses did
we have tonight?

449
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:20,411
Two? Three, maybe?

450
00:21:21,038 --> 00:21:22,621
If you chose the pudding.

451
00:21:22,706 --> 00:21:27,918
These tables tarted up
like Victorian whores.

452
00:21:28,003 --> 00:21:30,254
Let's remember we are all here

453
00:21:32,674 --> 00:21:34,342
for the dog society.

454
00:21:34,426 --> 00:21:37,428
He's what's important,
whatever his name is.

455
00:21:37,846 --> 00:21:39,513
Not any of this.

456
00:21:39,598 --> 00:21:43,684
So that is going to be
my donation to you.

457
00:21:43,769 --> 00:21:45,436
Thank you and good night.

458
00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:46,520
Whoa

459
00:21:47,439 --> 00:21:48,439
Uh

460
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:55,488
Oscar. Nice to
see you again

461
00:21:55,572 --> 00:21:57,365
It was lovely
It was lovely

462
00:21:57,449 --> 00:21:59,784
And don't forget to call. Okay

463
00:22:02,913 --> 00:22:04,955
Thanks so
much for coming

464
00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:07,458
Why does this always
happen to me? Ahh!

465
00:22:08,668 --> 00:22:10,920
I just feel so
bad for Angela

466
00:22:12,130 --> 00:22:15,132
Apparently, there were some silly
rumors going around tonight

467
00:22:15,967 --> 00:22:17,635
We are very much in love

468
00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:20,971
Very much in love

469
00:22:22,432 --> 00:22:25,142
So it just goes on under
here like this?

470
00:22:25,227 --> 00:22:26,644
That's right

471
00:22:26,770 --> 00:22:28,896
Oh, God. Yeah, you never
get used to that.

472
00:22:28,980 --> 00:22:31,524
Hey, just wanted to check in
to see how you're doing.

473
00:22:33,318 --> 00:22:35,528
He's great.
We're all great

474
00:22:35,654 --> 00:22:36,904
Twelve dogs

475
00:22:36,988 --> 00:22:39,740
This is my life now
I'm a dog nurse

476
00:22:39,825 --> 00:22:41,742
Look at that one,
though. He's smiling

477
00:22:41,827 --> 00:22:44,286
Yeah, he should be It's his
first day without a muzzle

478
00:22:45,122 --> 00:22:48,457
This is the greatest thing
that has ever happened to me.

479
00:22:48,542 --> 00:22:50,376
Absolutely, it's
Yes

480
00:22:50,460 --> 00:22:51,544
Awesome.
I'm sorry

481
00:22:51,628 --> 00:22:53,003
Are you guys nuts?

482
00:22:53,505 --> 00:22:54,547
He's not doing great

483
00:22:54,673 --> 00:22:56,006
He was fired

484
00:22:56,091 --> 00:22:57,299
This is terrible

485
00:22:57,801 --> 00:23:01,095
This is literally the worst thing
that has ever happened to you

486
00:23:01,179 --> 00:23:02,346
Not the best

487
00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:10,020
You're right

488
00:23:10,355 --> 00:23:11,856
He's right. I am a mess

489
00:23:12,107 --> 00:23:14,400
This whole night I've been trying
to convince you guys that I'm fine.

490
00:23:14,484 --> 00:23:18,863
I guess I thought that if I could
convince you that I'm fine, maybe

491
00:23:18,947 --> 00:23:20,573
Maybe you would
think it, too.

492
00:23:24,494 --> 00:23:27,496
I'm sorry,
it's just, I

493
00:23:28,373 --> 00:23:31,417
in a lot of human
conversations, so

494
00:23:31,543 --> 00:23:34,795
Okay. Well, Andy, listen it's okay
if you don't feel totally settled.

495
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:36,213
This is all very fresh

496
00:23:36,298 --> 00:23:38,549
Yeah, I mean, admitting that you
need help is the first step.

497
00:23:38,633 --> 00:23:42,052
Yes, and also focusing
on the positive.

498
00:23:42,721 --> 00:23:44,555
Like, I got a lot of good
things going on.

499
00:23:44,639 --> 00:23:47,141
Yeah, like that
rock opera.

500
00:23:47,225 --> 00:23:48,601
You could always
do that, right?

501
00:23:48,685 --> 00:23:50,352
Yeah, I do. I have that

502
00:23:51,563 --> 00:23:52,521
Yeah

503
00:23:52,606 --> 00:23:53,731
You're going
to be all right

504
00:23:53,815 --> 00:23:55,691
No. No, he's not

505
00:23:56,359 --> 00:23:57,485
Yes, I am

506
00:23:57,569 --> 00:23:59,695
Thank you, Kev
You're welcome

507
00:24:00,572 --> 00:24:04,074
Sometimes I feel like everyone
I work with is an idiot.

508
00:24:04,409 --> 00:24:07,369
And by sometimes
I mean all times.

509
00:24:08,246 --> 00:24:09,705
All the times

510
00:24:10,916 --> 00:24:12,583
Every of the time

511
00:24:15,378 --> 00:24:17,796
So, some of us ended up
adopting those elderly dogs

512
00:24:17,881 --> 00:24:18,881
It's been great

513
00:24:18,965 --> 00:24:21,842
Pepper's been getting me out
of the house Going on runs

514
00:24:21,927 --> 00:24:24,428
My dog Ruby
doesn't do anything

515
00:24:24,513 --> 00:24:26,347
She just lays
there all day

516
00:24:26,431 --> 00:24:27,932
She's so chill

517
00:24:28,225 --> 00:24:29,517
What do you
feed her?

518
00:24:29,601 --> 00:24:32,686
Well, I put out Pro Bow Wow
but she barely touches it

519
00:24:32,771 --> 00:24:34,146
She's so dainty

520
00:24:34,523 --> 00:24:35,523
Is she sick?

521
00:24:35,607 --> 00:24:37,066
How are her poops?

522
00:24:37,150 --> 00:24:38,317
Doesn't really poop

523
00:24:38,401 --> 00:24:39,944
It's perfect

524
00:24:40,028 --> 00:24:41,362
Nothing to pick up

525
00:24:41,446 --> 00:24:44,114
She just kind of lies there
all day like a good girl.

526
00:24:46,284 --> 00:24:49,578
But I have to prop her eyes
open so she can see it.

527
00:24:49,788 --> 00:24:50,829
Does she smell?

528
00:24:50,914 --> 00:24:52,456
She smells horrible

529
00:24:52,541 --> 00:24:53,791
It's unbelievable

530
00:24:53,875 --> 00:24:56,043
But I don't want to
put her in the bath

531
00:24:56,127 --> 00:24:58,337
'Cause I'm afraid
that she'll drown

532
00:25:00,423 --> 00:25:03,259
People seem awful
interested in you, Ruby

533
00:25:03,843 --> 00:25:06,387
Guess they're
just jealous, right?

534
00:25:06,471 --> 00:25:08,305
Yeah, that a girl

535
00:25:08,390 --> 00:25:09,807
That a girl

536
00:25:09,891 --> 00:25:11,141
Man, that stinks

537
00:25:12,355 --> 00:25:22,355
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