1
00:00:03,340 --> 00:00:05,820
The building's custodian
is on vacation for the month,

2
00:00:05,900 --> 00:00:08,187
and Dwight is too cheap
to hire a replacement.

3
00:00:08,260 --> 00:00:10,149
So instead,
we're living in filth.

4
00:00:10,220 --> 00:00:15,181
But not for long, because I
have created the chore wheel.

5
00:00:15,540 --> 00:00:18,111
Oh, yeah!
Can I spin first?

6
00:00:18,540 --> 00:00:19,666
Well, it doesn't spin.

7
00:00:19,740 --> 00:00:22,505
We'll just move the wheel
one notch each morning,

8
00:00:22,660 --> 00:00:24,901
and you see what
chore you get that day.

9
00:00:25,060 --> 00:00:27,188
A wheel is supposed to spin.
Yeah.

10
00:00:27,340 --> 00:00:28,751
You know, like...

11
00:00:30,100 --> 00:00:31,181
No, I'm familiar
with spinning.

12
00:00:31,260 --> 00:00:32,910
It's just, that wouldn't
work with a chore wheel,

13
00:00:32,980 --> 00:00:34,709
because people might
get the same chore.

14
00:00:35,020 --> 00:00:38,103
Bah! Boring. All she
talks about is chores.

15
00:00:38,220 --> 00:00:39,426
A wheel wants
to spin, Pam.

16
00:00:41,740 --> 00:00:43,629
Spinning would be more fun.

17
00:00:47,420 --> 00:00:48,421
Okay-

18
00:00:48,780 --> 00:00:52,023
Okay! That's what
I'm talking about.

19
00:00:53,260 --> 00:00:54,864
Big money, big money.

20
00:00:55,980 --> 00:00:56,981
Yeah!

21
00:00:57,780 --> 00:00:59,020
"Mug duty"?

22
00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:01,148
Yes! You clean all
the mugs in the sink.

23
00:01:02,180 --> 00:01:03,181
This sucks.

24
00:01:03,700 --> 00:01:06,431
Yeah, seriously. It's like
everything on there is work.

25
00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:09,310
I don't think you guys understand
why we're doing this. It's...

26
00:01:09,380 --> 00:01:12,668
Yeah, and I don't think
that you understand wheels.

27
00:01:14,620 --> 00:01:17,464
I've been through several rounds
of development with the team,

28
00:01:17,540 --> 00:01:19,986
and here's where we stand
with the chore wheel.

29
00:01:21,700 --> 00:01:22,747
We've got prizes!

30
00:01:23,340 --> 00:01:26,389
"Ten Bucks,"Candy Bar,"
"Manager For An Hour."

31
00:01:26,660 --> 00:01:28,469
But there are
also penalties

32
00:01:28,900 --> 00:01:31,744
like "No Internet,"
"Stanley Gets Your Lunch."

33
00:01:31,820 --> 00:01:34,744
The one thing that is not on
the chore wheel is chores.

34
00:01:34,940 --> 00:01:37,386
But they were right,
it's more fun this way.

35
00:01:42,660 --> 00:01:47,427
Tiny Wheel! Tiny Wheel!
Tiny Wheel! Tiny Wheel!

36
00:01:47,620 --> 00:01:49,941
The Tiny Wheel actually
does have chores.

37
00:01:50,460 --> 00:01:52,064
It's so cute,
no one seems to mind.

38
00:01:52,500 --> 00:01:53,581
"Toilets!"

39
00:02:21,700 --> 00:02:24,146
Pam, we've got to go!
Cece, go back inside.

40
00:02:24,380 --> 00:02:26,064
Grandma's got
breakfast, okay?

41
00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:30,151
We are going to Roy's wedding.

42
00:02:30,860 --> 00:02:31,907
Yep, Roy.

43
00:02:32,220 --> 00:02:34,700
I think the only weird thing
about going to your wife's

44
00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:37,101
ex-fiance's wedding
on a weekday at 8:00 a.m.

45
00:02:37,700 --> 00:02:40,624
is that it's your wife's ex-fiancé.
Thanks, Mom!

46
00:02:42,220 --> 00:02:43,824
A banana?
Yeah.

47
00:02:43,900 --> 00:02:45,470
I'm afraid he's only
going to have hot dogs.

48
00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:47,986
Come on. Not even Roy would
have hot dogs at his wedding.

49
00:02:48,060 --> 00:02:50,381
I planned a wedding with him.
He wanted hot dogs.

50
00:02:53,100 --> 00:02:54,101
It's so weird.

51
00:02:56,500 --> 00:02:57,945
Oh, Pete. You got mail.

52
00:02:58,020 --> 00:02:59,306
Really?
I got something?

53
00:02:59,420 --> 00:03:02,026
Well, it's addressed to Customer
Service, so it's your mail.

54
00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:04,023
Well, you know,
I'm also customer service.

55
00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:05,101
Yeah, I'm alternating.

56
00:03:06,460 --> 00:03:07,871
Another person
yelling at me.

57
00:03:07,940 --> 00:03:09,669
Well, it could be
a nice letter.

58
00:03:09,740 --> 00:03:11,629
I write nice letters to
companies all the time.

59
00:03:11,700 --> 00:03:13,429
That's really nice.

60
00:03:13,700 --> 00:03:18,911
Wow. Newsweek, huh? This
election thing is crazy, right?

61
00:03:19,660 --> 00:03:20,661
It's opened.

62
00:03:21,380 --> 00:03:24,827
Oh, yeah. I accidentally read it.
It's not a nice letter.

63
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:31,905
Get excited!

64
00:03:31,980 --> 00:03:35,109
The special projects
fairy has arrived.

65
00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:37,268
I know you
don't really exist.

66
00:03:37,740 --> 00:03:41,381
Today, I launch my big charity
initiative, Operation Giveback.

67
00:03:41,900 --> 00:03:45,461
Andy has shot down all of my
special projects thus far,

68
00:03:45,780 --> 00:03:50,149
but this one is about charity, so I'd
like to see him piss on that one.

69
00:03:54,140 --> 00:03:55,187
Darryl!

70
00:03:56,900 --> 00:03:58,629
What's happening?
Congratulations, baby.

71
00:03:58,700 --> 00:03:59,781
Yeah.
Oh, thank you.

72
00:04:03,140 --> 00:04:04,824
Is this his house?
I think so.

73
00:04:05,260 --> 00:04:06,261
Mimosa?

74
00:04:07,220 --> 00:04:08,585
I'm okay.
Thank you.

75
00:04:09,380 --> 00:04:11,223
Would you like me
to take your peel?

76
00:04:12,900 --> 00:04:13,901
Yes. Thank you.

77
00:04:21,900 --> 00:04:22,981
Okay-

78
00:04:25,380 --> 00:04:26,745
Who was that?

79
00:04:27,020 --> 00:04:28,067
Uh...

80
00:04:28,140 --> 00:04:30,108
My ex-fiancée.
Ha-ha.

81
00:04:30,740 --> 00:04:33,107
I started a new business
with my college friend,

82
00:04:33,220 --> 00:04:34,631
but Pam doesn't know.

83
00:04:34,940 --> 00:04:36,385
Um...

84
00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:39,823
Actually I did tell Pam
and we decided, "No."

85
00:04:41,020 --> 00:04:42,988
But then I decided,
"Yes," anyway,

86
00:04:43,060 --> 00:04:46,030
so I'm thinking there's
another conversation coming,

87
00:04:46,220 --> 00:04:48,302
and it's hard to know
when that will be.

88
00:04:48,420 --> 00:04:53,267
With Operation Giveback, you pick the
charities Dunder Mifflin supports.

89
00:04:53,500 --> 00:04:56,185
Oh, boy!
What's happening?

90
00:04:56,260 --> 00:04:59,946
There's $4,000 to give away, so
who has filled out their forms?

91
00:05:00,460 --> 00:05:01,541
Stanley?

92
00:05:01,620 --> 00:05:03,384
American Diabetes
Association.

93
00:05:03,580 --> 00:05:06,106
Um, you have diabetes,
Stanley.

94
00:05:06,180 --> 00:05:09,468
I'm sorry. Ls the assignment
to pick a selfish charity?

95
00:05:09,540 --> 00:05:11,907
I... I would love to give...

96
00:05:11,980 --> 00:05:13,141
Heifers International.

97
00:05:13,700 --> 00:05:17,386
Listen to this. They give a poor
person, like, a goat or something?

98
00:05:17,860 --> 00:05:19,100
It's a great prank.

99
00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:22,390
I want to work with Jimmy
Carter and help build gnomes.

100
00:05:22,500 --> 00:05:23,911
Dwight? What about you?

101
00:05:23,980 --> 00:05:27,541
I will not be participating, as there
is no evidence that charity works.

102
00:05:27,900 --> 00:05:30,301
Uh, correction, I give to
a foundation that teaches

103
00:05:30,380 --> 00:05:34,226
homeless children nautical flag signaling.
It changes lives.

104
00:05:34,740 --> 00:05:35,821
Thank you, Andy.

105
00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:36,901
I'm not doing it for you.

106
00:05:36,980 --> 00:05:39,551
I'm doing it for the preservation
of nautical flag signaling.

107
00:05:39,820 --> 00:05:41,868
Dwight, you will
be participating.

108
00:05:42,180 --> 00:05:44,626
No, thank you. Participation
is mandatory, Dwight.

109
00:05:44,700 --> 00:05:46,623
But you can choose
whatever cause you like.

110
00:05:48,060 --> 00:05:51,109
Fine! I choose the
Global Relief Foundation...

111
00:05:51,820 --> 00:05:53,822
Great. Thank you... which
was recently discovered

112
00:05:53,900 --> 00:05:55,743
to be a front
for the Taliban.

113
00:05:56,460 --> 00:05:58,189
Oh, for goodness
sake, Dwight!

114
00:05:58,260 --> 00:06:00,786
Yeah, the Taliban
in Af-a-ghanistan!

115
00:06:01,500 --> 00:06:03,502
The Taliban is the worst.

116
00:06:05,260 --> 00:06:06,466
Great heroin, though.

117
00:06:06,540 --> 00:06:10,864
Dwight, I cannot have the Taliban on
the roster of Operation Giveback.

118
00:06:10,940 --> 00:06:13,341
Well, then it looks like there
won't be any Operation Giveback.

119
00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:17,783
The nanny state is over, ladies
and gentlemen! You're welcome.

120
00:06:22,100 --> 00:06:23,101
There he is.

121
00:06:24,020 --> 00:06:25,909
Is it almost time to
cut the pancake or what?

122
00:06:25,980 --> 00:06:29,268
Oh, yeah, we appreciate everyone
coming out so early. It's...

123
00:06:29,780 --> 00:06:31,145
Everyone's just
been so nice.

124
00:06:31,220 --> 00:06:32,745
Thanks for inviting us, by the way.
That was...

125
00:06:32,820 --> 00:06:34,060
Are you kidding?
That was a surprise.

126
00:06:34,140 --> 00:06:37,269
Come on, if it wasn't for you,
I never would have met Lara.

127
00:06:37,340 --> 00:06:39,547
I mean, seriously, I kind of
dodged a bullet on that one.

128
00:06:39,620 --> 00:06:40,985
I'm just kidding.
You're welcome.

129
00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:42,101
Thanks.

130
00:06:42,700 --> 00:06:43,701
Oh.

131
00:06:43,780 --> 00:06:46,465
By the way, man,
this place is beautiful.

132
00:06:46,620 --> 00:06:49,590
I started a gravel company. I
mean, who knew it would take off?

133
00:06:49,980 --> 00:06:51,061
Gravel company.

134
00:06:51,140 --> 00:06:52,551
Yeah. What about you?
What are you doing?

135
00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:54,941
Not gravel, obviously.

136
00:06:55,260 --> 00:06:56,500
No, things are good.
Things are good.

137
00:06:56,580 --> 00:06:58,025
Got some stuff
in the works, so...

138
00:06:58,100 --> 00:06:59,909
Oh, cool.
Yeah, you never know.

139
00:06:59,980 --> 00:07:02,824
Hey, bro. Stop wasting
time with this haircut.

140
00:07:03,140 --> 00:07:05,586
He's got a $50,000
sports car.

141
00:07:05,660 --> 00:07:07,185
Cheers!
Yeah, okay, Ken.

142
00:07:07,500 --> 00:07:09,582
Duncan, listen!
I would love to help you out,

143
00:07:09,660 --> 00:07:10,786
but where am I
going to find somebody

144
00:07:10,860 --> 00:07:13,261
that is pretty, smart
and well-informed, huh?

145
00:07:13,340 --> 00:07:17,265
Hold on, hold on! Erin, do you
know anybody that might...

146
00:07:20,780 --> 00:07:21,781
Oh, my gosh.

147
00:07:23,220 --> 00:07:24,665
You love the news, right?

148
00:07:24,980 --> 00:07:26,391
Well, it depends.

149
00:07:26,460 --> 00:07:29,589
I mean, sometimes I find out
things that are really sad.

150
00:07:29,660 --> 00:07:32,504
Well, I've got a buddy that's a
big-time local news producer.

151
00:07:32,580 --> 00:07:35,231
I can't tell you his name,
but it'd blow your mind.

152
00:07:35,500 --> 00:07:37,184
Uh, is it Duncan?

153
00:07:37,260 --> 00:07:38,466
He's looking
for on-air talent,

154
00:07:38,540 --> 00:07:40,508
and he'd kill me if
I didn't get you on tape.

155
00:07:40,620 --> 00:07:42,270
You mean,
put me on the news?

156
00:07:42,340 --> 00:07:44,946
You'll just come over, put on
a little lipstick, loosen up

157
00:07:45,020 --> 00:07:46,624
with a glass of
red wine and then

158
00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:48,225
we'll just run
through a few stories.

159
00:07:48,540 --> 00:07:51,066
You know, a couple of different ways
in a couple of different outfits.

160
00:07:51,140 --> 00:07:54,349
It'd be really tasteful and
it'd really help out with...

161
00:07:54,420 --> 00:07:55,467
With my friend.

162
00:07:56,780 --> 00:07:58,509
What do
you say? Huh?

163
00:07:58,620 --> 00:08:01,191
- Well, maybe, okay? Let me think about it.
- Okay.

164
00:08:02,820 --> 00:08:03,821
Think it over.

165
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:08,351
No, Clark's not my friend.

166
00:08:08,420 --> 00:08:10,991
He is the douche that sits
next to me at the office.

167
00:08:11,060 --> 00:08:14,860
My friends are Scott, Glen and
Rob, but you don't know them.

168
00:08:15,540 --> 00:08:19,101
I never really thought much about being
more than a receptionist, but why?

169
00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:22,788
Because I happened to answer a Help
Wanted ad to be a receptionist?

170
00:08:22,860 --> 00:08:28,071
I mean, what if the ad had been
for a CEO or for a brain surgeon?

171
00:08:28,260 --> 00:08:31,981
So, uh, it was a year ago
today that I met Lara.

172
00:08:32,740 --> 00:08:34,424
I thought
she was my waitress,

173
00:08:34,740 --> 00:08:36,947
and, uh, it took her
three weeks to tell me

174
00:08:37,020 --> 00:08:38,181
that she actually
owned the place.

175
00:08:38,580 --> 00:08:40,264
You are full of surprises.

176
00:08:40,340 --> 00:08:42,911
You are my beautiful
mystery girl.

177
00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:45,821
And today, I have
a surprise for you.

178
00:08:48,500 --> 00:08:50,025
He plays the piano?

179
00:08:50,100 --> 00:08:52,751
No. Roy? No.

180
00:08:52,940 --> 00:08:55,261
You know how I said I was
taking boxing lessons?

181
00:08:55,340 --> 00:08:57,104
Actually I was doing this.

182
00:08:57,420 --> 00:08:59,502
Um, so,
I hope that you like it.

183
00:09:02,260 --> 00:09:03,944
You got this, Roy!

184
00:09:07,940 --> 00:09:11,547
She's got a way about her

185
00:09:13,700 --> 00:09:15,987
I don't know what it is

186
00:09:16,460 --> 00:09:20,021
But I know that I
can't live without her

187
00:09:21,020 --> 00:09:22,465
She's got a way

188
00:09:24,620 --> 00:09:26,622
We still surprise
each other.

189
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:27,781
Definitely.

190
00:09:29,780 --> 00:09:32,386
You know, I never did it,
but for your 30th birthday,

191
00:09:32,460 --> 00:09:34,303
I really wanted to
surprise you with...

192
00:09:34,380 --> 00:09:36,144
Court-side seats.
Sixers.

193
00:09:36,580 --> 00:09:40,471
Yes. But what I didn't tell you was
that I actually bought the tickets.

194
00:09:40,820 --> 00:09:42,060
We only didn't go because...

195
00:09:42,140 --> 00:09:43,380
it was an away game.

196
00:09:43,460 --> 00:09:45,986
In Phoenix. They should really
tell you that more specifically.

197
00:09:46,060 --> 00:09:48,984
I mean, every game is an away
game for one of the teams.

198
00:09:52,820 --> 00:09:54,902
Do we know everything
about each other?

199
00:09:54,980 --> 00:09:55,981
No.

200
00:09:57,180 --> 00:10:00,070
Tell me one thing about you I don't know.

201
00:10:00,980 --> 00:10:02,061
Uh... Um...

202
00:10:02,140 --> 00:10:03,301
Okay-

203
00:10:07,700 --> 00:10:08,701
Oh.

204
00:10:08,820 --> 00:10:10,231
Here's one. Did I ever
tell you about the time

205
00:10:10,300 --> 00:10:12,826
that my brothers videotaped
the lottery announcement

206
00:10:12,900 --> 00:10:14,868
and bought the winning
numbers the next day,

207
00:10:14,980 --> 00:10:17,142
and then played the tape
for me the next week...

208
00:10:17,220 --> 00:10:18,585
And you thought you
guys were millionaires.

209
00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:20,344
You heard that one.
Yes.

210
00:10:20,500 --> 00:10:21,547
But there's... Wait!

211
00:10:21,620 --> 00:10:24,385
Oh, there's a funny ending to
that story, I can't remember.

212
00:10:24,460 --> 00:10:25,871
That I thought we
were millionaires.

213
00:10:25,940 --> 00:10:27,271
That you thought
you were millionaires.

214
00:10:27,340 --> 00:10:28,421
Yeah. That's funny.

215
00:10:28,500 --> 00:10:30,229
Shoot! I knew that one.
That's all right.

216
00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:32,701
The Senator and I
still have mystery.

217
00:10:33,140 --> 00:10:36,110
I'm always waiting to see what he's
going to surprise me with next.

218
00:10:44,700 --> 00:10:45,701
You all right?

219
00:10:49,180 --> 00:10:50,784
You support the
Taliban abroad,

220
00:10:50,860 --> 00:10:53,386
so I assume you're willing
to live by their rules here.

221
00:10:55,140 --> 00:10:56,744
Anything else
would be inconsistent.

222
00:10:56,820 --> 00:11:02,543
Will you join me then in a pledge to
live by Taliban law in this office?

223
00:11:05,620 --> 00:11:07,429
Absolutely, I will.

224
00:11:13,740 --> 00:11:15,788
I feared Nellie had
some sort of a plan.

225
00:11:15,860 --> 00:11:17,669
But she used
a ridiculous font.

226
00:11:19,260 --> 00:11:21,228
You don't have a plan.

227
00:11:21,780 --> 00:11:24,784
When you use a ridiculous font,
no one thinks you have a plan.

228
00:11:27,380 --> 00:11:29,064
Looking for this?

229
00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:31,021
What the...

230
00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:37,429
Oh, this is a lovely pen. And
it's mine now because I stole it.

231
00:11:37,940 --> 00:11:38,987
Give me that!

232
00:11:39,060 --> 00:11:40,061
Didn't we sign a contract

233
00:11:40,460 --> 00:11:41,905
to live under Taliban law?

234
00:11:42,020 --> 00:11:43,829
Now there's been a theft.

235
00:11:43,900 --> 00:11:48,542
That means you're not serious or
someone's getting their hand cut off.

236
00:11:49,260 --> 00:11:50,341
You're insane.

237
00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:53,191
I know, so it's better
that you pick another charity.

238
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:57,066
Oh, and let your precious Operation
Powergrab proceed unchecked?

239
00:11:57,140 --> 00:11:58,187
No, thank you.

240
00:11:58,260 --> 00:11:59,944
Inthatcase, you

241
00:12:02,660 --> 00:12:04,867
will have to chop off
my hand.

242
00:12:09,900 --> 00:12:12,028
This cleaver appears
to need sharpening.

243
00:12:12,460 --> 00:12:15,623
I suggest you spend some quality time
together, just you and your hand.

244
00:12:15,700 --> 00:12:17,270
Tie a shoe.
Toss a salad.

245
00:12:17,620 --> 00:12:20,226
Do any of the two-hand activities
that you'll miss the most.

246
00:12:20,300 --> 00:12:23,383
I tell you what,
I need to make three calls,

247
00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:29,349
and then after that you can become a
person who chops off people's hands.

248
00:12:29,460 --> 00:12:30,950
Sounds like a plan.

249
00:12:32,780 --> 00:12:36,023
Clark wants to film you in different
outfits inside his apartment?

250
00:12:36,100 --> 00:12:37,101
Yeah.

251
00:12:37,780 --> 00:12:40,624
Clark! You and I need
to have a little chat.

252
00:12:42,100 --> 00:12:44,580
What clothes does Erin need
for this news audition?

253
00:12:47,820 --> 00:12:49,151
Uh...

254
00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:52,868
A couple of button-downs,
a camisole, a blazer,

255
00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:55,661
a pencil skirt,
stilettos, maybe...

256
00:12:55,860 --> 00:12:58,067
No, not maybe,
definitely open-toed.

257
00:12:58,540 --> 00:13:02,386
Uh, something low-cut because the camera
makes everything seem higher cut.

258
00:13:02,460 --> 00:13:04,303
Really?
Yeah. Industry secret.

259
00:13:04,460 --> 00:13:07,464
You're going to want some of those
pantyhose with the seam up the back.

260
00:13:07,540 --> 00:13:08,951
Seems unnecessary
for an audition.

261
00:13:09,020 --> 00:13:11,785
And then, you know, maybe just a
robe to wear in between takes,

262
00:13:11,860 --> 00:13:14,545
but I probably got one that she
could borrow at my place, so...

263
00:13:14,660 --> 00:13:17,140
Thank God someone here knows
what they're talking about.

264
00:13:17,220 --> 00:13:18,710
I want you to take
this credit card,

265
00:13:18,780 --> 00:13:21,101
take Erin to the mall
and get that stuff.

266
00:13:21,180 --> 00:13:23,467
I absolutely will do that.

267
00:13:23,540 --> 00:13:25,702
Awesome. Plop!

268
00:13:29,020 --> 00:13:32,024
Guess I'll just head
over to the mall, then.

269
00:13:32,940 --> 00:13:35,671
Buy Erin some
sexy fun outfits.

270
00:13:36,340 --> 00:13:38,229
That Clark, huh?

271
00:13:40,540 --> 00:13:42,383
Next question
for our oldy-weds?

272
00:13:42,460 --> 00:13:44,622
What's the craziest place
you ever made whoopee?

273
00:13:44,700 --> 00:13:45,667
Language!

274
00:13:45,740 --> 00:13:47,230
Who was Pam's
first celebrity crush?

275
00:13:47,300 --> 00:13:48,426
That's good.
Okay.

276
00:13:48,500 --> 00:13:52,789
Pam's first celebrity crush.
John Stamos.

277
00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:54,061
Ready?
Uh-huh.

278
00:13:54,220 --> 00:13:55,267
John Stamos.

279
00:13:55,340 --> 00:13:56,421
Oh.
Yes!

280
00:13:56,500 --> 00:13:57,581
But John Stamos was temporary.

281
00:13:57,660 --> 00:13:58,946
I quickly moved
on to Johnny Depp.

282
00:13:59,020 --> 00:14:00,670
Johnny Depp-

283
00:14:05,620 --> 00:14:09,705
Sorry, I was having a
separate conversation with Kevin.

284
00:14:11,060 --> 00:14:12,061
Uh...

285
00:14:12,260 --> 00:14:13,750
Johnny Depp.
Totally.

286
00:14:14,300 --> 00:14:16,064
George Clooney.

287
00:14:16,780 --> 00:14:18,191
Okay, I have one.
I have one.

288
00:14:18,260 --> 00:14:20,228
What is your warning...
What is the craziest place

289
00:14:20,300 --> 00:14:21,825
you ever made whoopee?
Hey!

290
00:14:21,900 --> 00:14:24,107
Kevin, stop it
with that question.

291
00:14:24,300 --> 00:14:27,782
Right? And did you show
them the market? Yeah?

292
00:14:28,620 --> 00:14:30,190
And what did they say?

293
00:14:31,780 --> 00:14:33,305
That's awesome!

294
00:14:33,620 --> 00:14:35,827
That... Oh, my God! Wow!

295
00:14:36,140 --> 00:14:37,665
It's not even real yet.

296
00:14:37,740 --> 00:14:40,391
And I'm not going to
tell her until it's real.

297
00:14:41,780 --> 00:14:45,227
I think maybe there actually is
something I don't know about Jim.

298
00:14:50,460 --> 00:14:53,589
Everyone, we have a voluntary
meeting in the conference room

299
00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:55,947
to discuss Erin's confidence.

300
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:57,670
Her body. We're going
to talk about her body.

301
00:14:57,860 --> 00:14:58,907
Good. Great job.

302
00:14:59,140 --> 00:15:02,223
Andy made me his consigliere, which
means assistant regional manager.

303
00:15:02,300 --> 00:15:05,702
I guess he thought I would be into
The Godfather because I'm black.

304
00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:08,341
Wrong.

305
00:15:08,860 --> 00:15:11,181
I'm into The Godfather
because I'm a cinephile.

306
00:15:12,060 --> 00:15:13,664
I like Scarface
because I'm black.

307
00:15:13,900 --> 00:15:17,302
Erin has an audition
to be a newscaster.

308
00:15:18,140 --> 00:15:19,380
- Whoo!
- Yeah!

309
00:15:19,460 --> 00:15:21,383
Uh-huh.

310
00:15:21,660 --> 00:15:26,268
And I want her to feel very
comfortable in her very sexy skin.

311
00:15:26,340 --> 00:15:29,947
So, everybody say something that you
like about her body. All right?

312
00:15:30,020 --> 00:15:31,067
Darryl?

313
00:15:31,140 --> 00:15:35,145
Okay. Um, I like Erin's hair.
It's a very pretty color.

314
00:15:35,460 --> 00:15:36,507
Yeah, right?

315
00:15:36,700 --> 00:15:38,589
I'm sorry, this is
for a news audition?

316
00:15:38,660 --> 00:15:39,661
Yeah.

317
00:15:39,820 --> 00:15:42,107
Then why are we
talking about her looks?

318
00:15:42,180 --> 00:15:44,831
Why not her credibility
or her reliability?

319
00:15:45,060 --> 00:15:47,666
Newsflash, everyone,
the human race

320
00:15:47,740 --> 00:15:49,549
finds attractive people
more trustworthy.

321
00:15:49,660 --> 00:15:52,743
So sorry, Andy, but for 20 years,
the most trusted man in America?

322
00:15:52,860 --> 00:15:53,907
Walter Cronkite.

323
00:15:53,980 --> 00:15:54,981
Cronkite was hot!

324
00:15:55,060 --> 00:15:57,506
If I could go back in time,
I'd take that moustache ride.

325
00:15:57,580 --> 00:15:59,423
Does Erin have
any experience?

326
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:01,548
Has she taken any
journalism classes maybe?

327
00:16:01,660 --> 00:16:03,071
Has she done
the pageant circuit?

328
00:16:03,460 --> 00:16:04,621
No, I watch the news.

329
00:16:04,700 --> 00:16:06,623
She's going to be amazing.
Look at her.

330
00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:07,861
She's going to
light up the screen!

331
00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:09,226
This is
a first for me.

332
00:16:09,300 --> 00:16:10,825
And I don't get
a lot of chances,

333
00:16:10,900 --> 00:16:12,709
so I have to take
them really seriously.

334
00:16:13,380 --> 00:16:15,348
I will do whatever it
takes to get the job.

335
00:16:16,540 --> 00:16:18,383
Whatever it takes.
Yeah, I know. I heard.

336
00:16:23,420 --> 00:16:24,421
This is it.

337
00:16:26,060 --> 00:16:27,983
Any questions?
Is it going to be long?

338
00:16:28,060 --> 00:16:31,382
No, it's going to be over
before you know it. Mmm-hmm.

339
00:16:34,700 --> 00:16:36,702
Afghan President Hamid Karzai

340
00:16:36,820 --> 00:16:39,903
declared a new policy of "Dollar
Days" throughout the country,

341
00:16:40,140 --> 00:16:45,465
promising low, low prices on all
2012 Kia Sentras and Sonatas.

342
00:16:45,940 --> 00:16:48,341
"Aren't you glad you waited?"
Karzai commented.

343
00:16:48,420 --> 00:16:50,502
Um, where did you
get that story?

344
00:16:51,660 --> 00:16:53,503
A little bit here,
a little bit there.

345
00:16:53,580 --> 00:16:55,901
I bet you didn't think
I knew current events.

346
00:16:56,220 --> 00:16:59,349
I love it. It's fantastic.
Now tag it with your name.

347
00:17:01,300 --> 00:17:03,189
For Channel Eleven News,
I'm Erin Hannon.

348
00:17:03,260 --> 00:17:04,386
Pause after "news."

349
00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:08,380
For Channel Eleven
News, I'm Erin Hannon.

350
00:17:08,460 --> 00:17:09,666
No, pauselongen

351
00:17:09,740 --> 00:17:10,866
That was a good one.

352
00:17:11,260 --> 00:17:14,787
Pause... Pause longer, okay? It
builds suspense. Don't be shy.

353
00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:16,231
Got it.

354
00:17:17,660 --> 00:17:19,583
For Channel Eleven News...

355
00:17:28,460 --> 00:17:31,225
It's... Okay, all right.
I'm Erin Hannon.

356
00:17:31,780 --> 00:17:32,986
Great.

357
00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:35,104
Some great stuff in there.

358
00:17:36,940 --> 00:17:38,146
I can feel you
looking at me.

359
00:17:38,220 --> 00:17:40,541
Okay. Well, here's
something you don't know.

360
00:17:42,940 --> 00:17:44,988
A couple of weeks ago...
Mmm-hmm.

361
00:17:45,060 --> 00:17:46,789
I ran into this guy
from my high school

362
00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:48,909
who has just gotten divorced,

363
00:17:49,540 --> 00:17:51,269
and he hit on me in the mall.

364
00:17:51,420 --> 00:17:53,548
And I didn't
tell you because,

365
00:17:53,820 --> 00:17:55,663
I don't know,
I felt embarrassed,

366
00:17:55,740 --> 00:17:58,107
and I didn't know
if you'd be mad, or worried.

367
00:17:58,180 --> 00:18:00,831
But anyway, I thought
you'd want to know.

368
00:18:02,300 --> 00:18:03,540
That didn't happen.

369
00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:05,745
You would have
told me right away.

370
00:18:05,820 --> 00:18:07,390
Yeah, I would have.

371
00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:10,629
What about you? Come on,
there's got to be something.

372
00:18:11,660 --> 00:18:13,981
Between your birth
and the last two days,

373
00:18:14,100 --> 00:18:16,182
something you just haven't
had the chance to tell me.

374
00:18:16,260 --> 00:18:17,341
Uh...

375
00:18:20,380 --> 00:18:21,825
Just tell me.

376
00:18:24,340 --> 00:18:26,911
God, give it up, Beesly.
You know me too well.

377
00:18:45,740 --> 00:18:46,821
- Hey.
- Hey.

378
00:18:46,900 --> 00:18:50,746
Urn, I knew something bothered me,
and I finally figured it out.

379
00:18:50,820 --> 00:18:53,266
What news producers are going to
want to see is how Erin relates

380
00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:55,308
to the other people
on the news team. Oh.

381
00:18:55,380 --> 00:18:58,748
The weird thing is that Erin
is doing the audition alone.

382
00:18:58,820 --> 00:19:02,222
Oh, God. Now, I'd say Clark
could be your co-host,

383
00:19:02,740 --> 00:19:04,390
but he's already doing camera.

384
00:19:04,460 --> 00:19:07,384
Somebody who's already
got rapport with Erin maybe?

385
00:19:07,740 --> 00:19:08,946
I don't know.

386
00:19:11,420 --> 00:19:13,388
This is for real this time.

387
00:19:14,860 --> 00:19:18,785
It's getting late. I thought you
guys could use a little inspiration.

388
00:19:20,900 --> 00:19:23,267
Oh, a movie.
What is this?

389
00:19:23,380 --> 00:19:25,428
127 Hours. It's about
this guy who goes...

390
00:19:25,540 --> 00:19:27,668
No, no, no! No spoilers, please.

391
00:19:27,740 --> 00:19:29,230
My bad. You're right.
No.

392
00:19:29,380 --> 00:19:31,030
Okay.
Good night.

393
00:19:35,060 --> 00:19:37,108
- Hey!
- Hey!

394
00:19:37,260 --> 00:19:38,625
Everybody.
Yeah.

395
00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:42,023
Come in. Come on in.
All right.

396
00:19:42,420 --> 00:19:43,421
Nice.

397
00:19:44,060 --> 00:19:45,471
What are you doing here?

398
00:19:45,540 --> 00:19:48,350
Oh, sorry, man. Andy thought
Erin needed a co-anchor.

399
00:19:48,940 --> 00:19:51,227
I'm his makeup guy.
My hands are tied.

400
00:19:52,420 --> 00:19:56,391
The victim was released from the
hospital with second degree burns.

401
00:19:56,540 --> 00:19:57,541
Wow.

402
00:19:57,740 --> 00:19:59,981
You know what they say, Erin,
if you can't take the heat,

403
00:20:00,060 --> 00:20:01,585
get out of the kitchen.

404
00:20:03,220 --> 00:20:05,188
Well, he tried to, but the
fire door was blocked.

405
00:20:05,260 --> 00:20:06,307
He sure did.

406
00:20:06,380 --> 00:20:07,506
All right, we got that.

407
00:20:07,580 --> 00:20:08,911
That's a wrap, everybody.

408
00:20:08,980 --> 00:20:10,141
Oh. I just... You sure, Clark?

409
00:20:10,220 --> 00:20:11,346
Yup, she's done.

410
00:20:11,620 --> 00:20:14,100
No, I just... I don't mean Erin.
I mean for me.

411
00:20:14,220 --> 00:20:16,109
I didn't feel
good about that.

412
00:20:16,740 --> 00:20:18,185
No, no.
We got it. We got it.

413
00:20:18,620 --> 00:20:20,702
Great. Let's get some food.
I'm starving.

414
00:20:20,780 --> 00:20:24,341
I don't think we did get it. I
could do a couple more takes.

415
00:20:24,420 --> 00:20:28,425
We could do it in a close-up. That
might even be better for editing.

416
00:20:28,940 --> 00:20:30,465
Okay, I don't.

417
00:20:31,140 --> 00:20:32,266
All right.

418
00:20:32,340 --> 00:20:33,705
I'm hungry.

419
00:20:34,140 --> 00:20:35,141
Uh...

420
00:20:35,220 --> 00:20:37,507
Pete, you want to take Erin
to get a burger or something?

421
00:20:37,580 --> 00:20:39,548
- Yeah, whatever you say, boss.
- Okay.

422
00:20:39,700 --> 00:20:40,906
- I'll call you later.
- Okay.

423
00:20:40,980 --> 00:20:43,142
Okay.
So this is a single.

424
00:20:44,460 --> 00:20:48,385
Hey, even if this doesn't work out for me,
I'm just glad I had the guts to do it.

425
00:20:48,780 --> 00:20:50,987
And maybe it will
work out for Andy.

426
00:20:57,580 --> 00:21:00,789
Oh, God! Yeah. That is
absolutely revolting!

427
00:21:00,860 --> 00:21:03,227
He is so good, though.
Yes.

428
00:21:03,300 --> 00:21:05,268
The way he just
cuts off his arm.

429
00:21:05,580 --> 00:21:07,309
If you like James Franco,
we really should watch

430
00:21:07,380 --> 00:21:08,666
Rise of
the Planet of the Apes.

431
00:21:08,740 --> 00:21:10,504
Well, he's a genius,
you know?

432
00:21:10,740 --> 00:21:14,586
He was in graduate programs at Yale,
Columbia, and NYU all at the same time.

433
00:21:14,660 --> 00:21:16,583
Whoop-de-do. That doesn't
make you a genius.

434
00:21:16,660 --> 00:21:18,344
Well, it doesn't
make you stupid.

435
00:21:18,420 --> 00:21:20,707
Well, yeah, it does actually.
It makes you real stupid.

436
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:22,509
Stupid like you.
No, like you!

437
00:21:22,580 --> 00:21:24,105
Like you!
You're the stupid one.

438
00:21:24,180 --> 00:21:25,545
You're the stupid one.
You're the stupid one.

439
00:21:25,660 --> 00:21:27,708
You. You. You. You. You. You.
You're the stupid one.

440
00:21:28,445 --> 00:21:38,445
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