1 00:00:01,250 --> 00:00:04,538 This year I decided to really get into the spirit of Halloween. 2 00:00:12,290 --> 00:00:16,136 It may have been the costliest decision I've ever made. 3 00:00:17,490 --> 00:00:19,891 My greased-up head went into the pumpkin no problem, but... 4 00:00:19,970 --> 00:00:21,051 it won't budge! 5 00:00:21,130 --> 00:00:22,495 I can't get it out. 6 00:00:23,490 --> 00:00:24,537 Try again. 7 00:00:24,610 --> 00:00:26,738 I mean, I could try destroying the pumpkin. 8 00:00:26,810 --> 00:00:27,857 No! No! No! 9 00:00:27,930 --> 00:00:29,455 But as Jim and I discovered... 10 00:00:30,290 --> 00:00:31,291 No! 11 00:00:32,290 --> 00:00:36,011 Any blow to the pumpkin itself could prove fatal to me. 12 00:00:36,090 --> 00:00:37,819 At first, I drove myself crazy thinking 13 00:00:37,890 --> 00:00:40,177 about the things I should've done differently. Yes, Dwight. 14 00:00:40,250 --> 00:00:42,651 I never should've played that joke on Erin. 15 00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:44,494 I never should have hollowed out 16 00:00:44,650 --> 00:00:46,334 this damned pumpkin in the first place. 17 00:00:47,290 --> 00:00:49,941 But then I realized I was being silly. 18 00:00:50,010 --> 00:00:54,379 I mean, the pumpkin should rot off of my head in a month or two. 19 00:00:54,450 --> 00:00:55,497 Right? 20 00:00:57,010 --> 00:01:03,084 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 21 00:01:06,170 --> 00:01:07,296 Hey, guys Hey! 22 00:01:07,370 --> 00:01:08,371 Pam, what are you? 23 00:01:08,450 --> 00:01:09,656 I'm Dr. Cinderella. 24 00:01:10,010 --> 00:01:11,455 Cece's really into princesses now, 25 00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:13,578 so we decided to turn them into positive female role models. 26 00:01:13,650 --> 00:01:15,334 I'm an oncologist. 27 00:01:16,010 --> 00:01:17,250 And you are a dog. 28 00:01:17,890 --> 00:01:19,415 I'm a puppy- 29 00:01:19,490 --> 00:01:21,219 Dang it, I was worried that would happen. 30 00:01:21,290 --> 00:01:22,496 It's okay. 31 00:01:22,650 --> 00:01:23,856 Jim, you're not dressed up at all. 32 00:01:24,810 --> 00:01:26,539 Sure I am. Lam 33 00:01:27,930 --> 00:01:29,420 one of the Men in Black guys. 34 00:01:29,490 --> 00:01:30,457 Can I have your sunglasses? 35 00:01:30,530 --> 00:01:32,259 Jim, come on. I thought we were past this. 36 00:01:32,530 --> 00:01:34,294 So the sports marketing business 37 00:01:34,370 --> 00:01:36,611 that Jim told everyone about except for me... 38 00:01:36,690 --> 00:01:38,533 There's a big investment lunch today, 39 00:01:38,690 --> 00:01:40,579 so I decided to skip the costume. 40 00:01:40,650 --> 00:01:44,700 Unless he has a secret costume that he told everyone about except for me. 41 00:01:44,770 --> 00:01:46,181 Getting a lot of mileage out of this, aren't you? 42 00:01:46,250 --> 00:01:48,491 Yeah, well, get used to it, bud. 43 00:01:50,530 --> 00:01:51,611 Jitterbug. 44 00:01:52,250 --> 00:01:54,457 You guys look great! 45 00:01:54,530 --> 00:01:57,181 Just a reminder, the party is right after lunch, 46 00:01:57,250 --> 00:01:59,856 so make sure you get all your work done before that or throw it out. 47 00:01:59,930 --> 00:02:01,170 Any questions? 48 00:02:01,770 --> 00:02:04,580 The Senator will be joining us later. 49 00:02:05,050 --> 00:02:06,051 Not a question. 50 00:02:06,210 --> 00:02:07,257 No, it wasn't. 51 00:02:07,330 --> 00:02:09,901 Excellent. That reminds me, has anyone seen treble? 52 00:02:10,890 --> 00:02:14,736 Anyone? I could have sworn I saw some treble somewhere. 53 00:02:15,970 --> 00:02:19,133 Ladies and gentlemen, Here Comes Treble! 54 00:02:19,330 --> 00:02:23,813 I'm a man without conviction 55 00:02:23,890 --> 00:02:28,498 You come and go You come and go 56 00:02:29,410 --> 00:02:33,335 Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chameleon 57 00:02:33,410 --> 00:02:38,780 You come and go You come and go 58 00:02:39,290 --> 00:02:42,851 Loving would be easy if your colors were like my dreams 59 00:02:42,970 --> 00:02:48,534 Red, gold, and green Red, gold, and green 60 00:02:48,610 --> 00:02:49,611 Karma, come on! 61 00:02:49,690 --> 00:02:50,691 Ah! 62 00:02:50,930 --> 00:02:51,931 So good. 63 00:02:54,410 --> 00:02:56,936 What lab did these little clones escape from? 64 00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,694 My Cornell a cappella group. 65 00:02:58,770 --> 00:03:00,295 You were in an a cappella group? 66 00:03:00,370 --> 00:03:01,895 You went to Cornell? 67 00:03:01,970 --> 00:03:04,211 Yeah! Okay. 68 00:03:04,610 --> 00:03:06,339 But you have no idea how lucky you are, 69 00:03:06,410 --> 00:03:10,017 because HCT is doing a set at our Halloween party. 70 00:03:10,250 --> 00:03:13,015 Ugh. I don't want to sit through a whole concert of that. 71 00:03:13,090 --> 00:03:14,933 I do! I love the boss' interests. 72 00:03:15,010 --> 00:03:16,171 Attaboy, Clark. 73 00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:18,216 Where you boys staying? 74 00:03:18,290 --> 00:03:20,736 How does it work in the rooms? You get a privacy partition? 75 00:03:20,810 --> 00:03:23,416 No. No, no, no. Stay away. 76 00:03:23,690 --> 00:03:25,260 You know what I just realized? 77 00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:30,939 They might actually call me up to solo on George Michael's Faith. 78 00:03:31,010 --> 00:03:33,331 That was one of my signature songs. 79 00:03:33,450 --> 00:03:37,500 Oh, man. That would be insane. 80 00:03:37,570 --> 00:03:39,334 I'm so not prepared. 81 00:03:40,530 --> 00:03:43,340 Are you sure you're okay with me putting in this much money? 82 00:03:43,410 --> 00:03:44,980 Yeah. I mean, listen, 83 00:03:45,050 --> 00:03:46,893 if we're going to do this thing, then we should do it right. 84 00:03:46,970 --> 00:03:48,620 You're the best. 85 00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:52,531 I kind of am. It's crazy. 86 00:03:52,650 --> 00:03:54,573 - Okay, I'll see you in a little bit. - Okay. 87 00:03:54,650 --> 00:03:55,776 Jim, look, I'm eating you. 88 00:03:55,930 --> 00:03:57,056 Shut up. 89 00:03:58,370 --> 00:04:00,452 Hey, Erin, look. 90 00:04:00,530 --> 00:04:02,612 These are Nerds. I'm eating Jims. 91 00:04:05,690 --> 00:04:07,533 Must eat more Jims! 92 00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:11,054 Stop it! Stop it! I'm spilling Jims! 93 00:04:11,130 --> 00:04:13,736 Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! 94 00:04:24,770 --> 00:04:26,932 Hello, little pill. 95 00:04:27,010 --> 00:04:28,694 What do you do? 96 00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:32,496 Dumatril is licensed to treat anxiety symptoms 97 00:04:32,570 --> 00:04:36,131 such as panic attacks, excessive worrying and fear. 98 00:04:36,210 --> 00:04:37,621 Translation? 99 00:04:38,530 --> 00:04:40,373 There's a madman in our midst. 100 00:04:41,410 --> 00:04:43,060 Okay, I give up. What are you? 101 00:04:43,170 --> 00:04:44,774 I'm sexy Toby. 102 00:04:46,250 --> 00:04:48,059 Gross! I love it. 103 00:04:49,250 --> 00:04:50,297 Dumaflm 104 00:04:52,050 --> 00:04:54,178 Something wrong, Dwight? 105 00:04:54,730 --> 00:04:55,777 Dumaflfl 106 00:04:55,850 --> 00:04:56,851 Yes? 107 00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:59,536 This is a pill I found here in the office. 108 00:04:59,610 --> 00:05:02,181 But it's not for worms or eczema, like any normal pill. 109 00:05:02,290 --> 00:05:04,816 It's not for any disorder of the body. 110 00:05:04,890 --> 00:05:06,892 It's for a disorder of the mind. 111 00:05:07,170 --> 00:05:09,411 The mind is part of the body. 112 00:05:09,490 --> 00:05:12,380 Okay, this is a pill that combats insanity. 113 00:05:13,090 --> 00:05:16,697 Okay? Whoever is taking it is not only insane, 114 00:05:16,770 --> 00:05:18,818 they are now off their meds. 115 00:05:18,930 --> 00:05:21,012 Dwight, our co-workers' heafihissues 116 00:05:21,090 --> 00:05:22,296 are really none of our business. 117 00:05:22,370 --> 00:05:24,816 Why are you trying so hard to bury this thing, huh? 118 00:05:24,930 --> 00:05:27,456 What's going on, Nellie? Talk to me. Hmm? 119 00:05:27,570 --> 00:05:32,019 It's my pill. I have an anxiety issue, and I'm not ashamed of that, 120 00:05:32,090 --> 00:05:36,061 but I'm not loving the idea of Dwight having that information. 121 00:05:36,130 --> 00:05:40,101 I once saw him yell at Phyllis for sneezing wrong. 122 00:05:40,850 --> 00:05:43,137 Yeah, you're right. This man needs to be apprehended. 123 00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:45,133 I'll get my apprehension kit. 124 00:05:46,290 --> 00:05:49,260 Dudes! What's up? 125 00:05:50,770 --> 00:05:54,092 I know it's pathetic to relive your college years, but cut me some slack, 126 00:05:54,170 --> 00:05:58,095 okay, because I was a freaking rock star in college. 127 00:05:58,170 --> 00:06:01,936 When I joined Here Comes Treble, that's when I became somebody. 128 00:06:02,010 --> 00:06:07,733 When I got the nickname Boner Champ, that is when I became me. 129 00:06:09,450 --> 00:06:11,054 You didn't come here to sit in a room, right? 130 00:06:11,130 --> 00:06:12,973 You came here for some intergenerational bro time! 131 00:06:13,050 --> 00:06:14,814 Well, now's your chance! I'm here! 132 00:06:14,890 --> 00:06:16,654 You got Q's, I got A's. 133 00:06:19,650 --> 00:06:21,652 Did you say you've got AIDS? 134 00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:25,981 No, I don't have AIDS. That's not what I said. Next question. 135 00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:32,619 You don't have any questions about the old days? 136 00:06:37,290 --> 00:06:39,497 You at least want to know why they call me Boner Champ? 137 00:06:40,010 --> 00:06:42,536 I thought Broccoli Rob was the Boner Champ. 138 00:06:47,010 --> 00:06:48,171 I'm sorry. What? 139 00:06:48,930 --> 00:06:52,377 I just thought Broccoli Rob was the Boner Champ. 140 00:06:57,410 --> 00:06:59,777 Broccoli Rob was Broccoli Rob. 141 00:07:01,570 --> 00:07:03,299 Andy Bernard is the Boner Champ. 142 00:07:10,570 --> 00:07:13,255 I didn't realize that everybody here dresses up every year. 143 00:07:13,330 --> 00:07:14,695 Me neither. 144 00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:17,778 It's Halloween. 145 00:07:17,850 --> 00:07:20,376 That is really, really good timing. 146 00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:22,977 I was just talking to some of the actives, 147 00:07:23,090 --> 00:07:25,297 and they think that you're Boner Champ. 148 00:07:25,370 --> 00:07:28,021 I'm so sorry. I don't know how that could've happened. 149 00:07:28,970 --> 00:07:30,574 Did you maybe tell them that? Or... 150 00:07:30,650 --> 00:07:33,574 I just started yapping about the old days, 151 00:07:33,730 --> 00:07:36,654 and I guess the wine coolers were flowing, 152 00:07:36,730 --> 00:07:38,220 and you know, somehow things just got hinky. 153 00:07:38,770 --> 00:07:40,659 Could you call them and just tell them the truth? 154 00:07:40,730 --> 00:07:42,380 Because I know it's really stupid, 155 00:07:42,490 --> 00:07:45,141 but it's also really, really, really important. 156 00:07:45,770 --> 00:07:47,215 Will do. 157 00:07:48,170 --> 00:07:49,217 I love you, Andy. 158 00:07:49,410 --> 00:07:50,491 Love you too. 159 00:07:51,530 --> 00:07:53,373 So the workspace looks awesome. 160 00:07:53,450 --> 00:07:54,940 And the graphic designer is gonna be 161 00:07:55,050 --> 00:07:56,620 sending us in some of the logo treatments. 162 00:07:56,690 --> 00:07:57,737 Can't wait to see them. 163 00:07:57,810 --> 00:07:59,335 You guys rock. 164 00:08:00,170 --> 00:08:01,501 Rocking. 165 00:08:03,410 --> 00:08:04,411 There you go. 166 00:08:04,690 --> 00:08:07,500 I've also been running the numbers, and between our backers 167 00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:10,540 and our own investments, we're looking great for a full year on this. 168 00:08:11,330 --> 00:08:13,617 Is it too late to get in? 169 00:08:13,730 --> 00:08:15,937 Jim, I explained everything, so you're all set. 170 00:08:16,010 --> 00:08:18,616 Oh, no, I actually talked to my wife, and we'd really like to, 171 00:08:18,690 --> 00:08:21,261 you know, invest, get in on the ground floor. 172 00:08:21,610 --> 00:08:23,851 Wow, well, what level of investment were you thinking about? 173 00:08:24,970 --> 00:08:28,258 We were thinking somewhere between $5,000, $10,000. 174 00:08:30,170 --> 00:08:33,458 I can do the full $10,000. We should just... All in. 175 00:08:33,530 --> 00:08:34,691 All right, welcome aboard. 176 00:08:34,770 --> 00:08:36,374 All right. Awesome, cool. 177 00:08:36,930 --> 00:08:42,300 Hey, Darryl. I'm just here to smear some peanut butter on my forehead. 178 00:08:42,810 --> 00:08:45,051 You know, to protect his brain 179 00:08:45,130 --> 00:08:47,451 from the nanobots that the government put in the air conditioning. 180 00:08:49,370 --> 00:08:51,657 That makes sense to you, right? 181 00:08:52,610 --> 00:08:55,420 Or does it sound crazy? 182 00:08:59,810 --> 00:09:03,132 I can't really picture it. Can you get it on there? 183 00:09:03,930 --> 00:09:05,011 Yeah. 184 00:09:05,930 --> 00:09:07,773 Maybe get the cheeks. 185 00:09:08,530 --> 00:09:11,215 So this makes sense then? Or is it crazy? 186 00:09:11,330 --> 00:09:14,140 Get under your chin first, yeah, yeah. 187 00:09:14,250 --> 00:09:16,059 Is that where the nanobots like to come in? 188 00:09:16,130 --> 00:09:17,177 Get all the way up to your lip, yeah. 189 00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:18,291 Okay- 190 00:09:18,370 --> 00:09:19,701 Is that how they like to get in? 191 00:09:20,330 --> 00:09:22,298 Yeah. That's crazy. 192 00:09:26,330 --> 00:09:28,458 I don't know. I just don't know. 193 00:09:29,010 --> 00:09:30,455 Yo! Bad boys of a cappella! 194 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,060 Hey. 195 00:09:32,130 --> 00:09:35,498 Heard any good stories lately or new twists on old stories? 196 00:09:36,330 --> 00:09:38,981 Yeah, I got a call from Broccoli Rob. 197 00:09:39,050 --> 00:09:41,337 I guess you really are the Boner Champ. 198 00:09:41,850 --> 00:09:42,897 Did he tell you how I got the name? 199 00:09:43,010 --> 00:09:44,091 No. 200 00:09:44,170 --> 00:09:49,176 Spring Sing '95, we got completely ripped on Bud Drys, 201 00:09:50,250 --> 00:09:51,775 I had sex with a snowman. 202 00:09:53,890 --> 00:09:56,052 I just went at that thing. 203 00:09:56,130 --> 00:09:57,575 The cold would've stopped most people, 204 00:09:57,650 --> 00:09:59,539 but I stayed locked in, you know? 205 00:10:00,170 --> 00:10:02,696 I took the face off. Just seemed easier that way. 206 00:10:04,210 --> 00:10:07,100 And I told Phyllis not to put it out, but she insisted. 207 00:10:07,170 --> 00:10:09,059 So, anyway, hi. 208 00:10:09,130 --> 00:10:11,895 Oscar, you remember my husband, the Senator. 209 00:10:13,050 --> 00:10:14,290 Senator Lipton. Nice to see you. 210 00:10:14,410 --> 00:10:15,696 Nice to see you, Oscar. 211 00:10:15,810 --> 00:10:18,336 Wait a second. Who designed this spread? 212 00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:20,299 The sweets and savories are all mixed together. 213 00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:21,371 This is mayhem. 214 00:10:21,450 --> 00:10:23,657 So, Oscar, you're a dinosaur? 215 00:10:23,730 --> 00:10:25,334 Actually, I'm the electoral college. 216 00:10:25,610 --> 00:10:27,897 Ouch. Right on target. 217 00:10:28,730 --> 00:10:31,574 You know what? This is outrageous. I have to find Phyllis. 218 00:10:31,650 --> 00:10:32,981 You two talk, okay? Sorry, babe. 219 00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:34,501 Okay. 220 00:10:34,570 --> 00:10:35,651 Phyllis! 221 00:10:36,530 --> 00:10:38,692 God, it's just so good to see you. 222 00:10:41,650 --> 00:10:44,096 All having this wonderful Halloween gathering. 223 00:10:44,170 --> 00:10:45,217 Excuse me, is that punch? 224 00:10:46,130 --> 00:10:48,576 They didn't know about the snowman story. 225 00:10:48,650 --> 00:10:50,857 And when I told them, they were not impressed. 226 00:10:51,410 --> 00:10:53,299 What is with these turkeys? Right? 227 00:10:53,370 --> 00:10:55,941 Hey. You better do Faith. You get me? 228 00:10:57,250 --> 00:10:58,331 We don't know it. 229 00:10:58,410 --> 00:11:01,937 So learn it. You all go to Cornell. You're, like, eight Rain Men. 230 00:11:02,010 --> 00:11:03,011 Just learn the fricking song. 231 00:11:03,090 --> 00:11:05,297 Look, I know it was big with the old guys, but... 232 00:11:05,370 --> 00:11:07,452 Butts are for pooping. 233 00:11:08,410 --> 00:11:11,175 Okay, make it work. You have to, or Andy will flip out. 234 00:11:11,970 --> 00:11:13,859 And make it a surprise, please. 235 00:11:16,930 --> 00:11:18,694 This isn't stupid. 236 00:11:20,090 --> 00:11:21,251 What? 237 00:11:31,250 --> 00:11:32,615 Hey- Hey- 238 00:11:33,290 --> 00:11:34,291 Hey, Toby. 239 00:11:38,370 --> 00:11:39,531 Are you me? 240 00:11:39,650 --> 00:11:40,890 Yeah. 241 00:11:42,290 --> 00:11:43,576 Oh, my goodness, look at this. 242 00:11:43,730 --> 00:11:44,970 Yeah. 243 00:11:47,730 --> 00:11:48,856 Look at me. 244 00:11:48,930 --> 00:11:50,170 Being you. I know! Look at you. 245 00:11:52,290 --> 00:11:53,291 It's funny, right? 246 00:12:09,530 --> 00:12:11,771 All right, all right, just stay focused on the pill. 247 00:12:13,010 --> 00:12:15,536 Okay, look. Dwight, let's just call this thing off. 248 00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:18,534 I mean, it's just an anxiety pill. Lots of people have anxiety. 249 00:12:18,610 --> 00:12:20,692 You think I don't have anxiety? I have anxiety all the time! 250 00:12:20,810 --> 00:12:23,051 Every waking moment of my life is sheer torture! 251 00:12:23,130 --> 00:12:25,895 I have land disputes to settle, and idiot cousins to protect, 252 00:12:25,970 --> 00:12:27,938 and ne'er-do-well siblings to take care of. 253 00:12:28,010 --> 00:12:30,775 And I don't need some stupid pill to get me through all this. 254 00:12:30,850 --> 00:12:32,215 Cool, free upper. 255 00:12:32,290 --> 00:12:34,770 Ah-ha! The jig is up, Psychopath! 256 00:12:34,850 --> 00:12:36,500 Yeah! What the hell? 257 00:12:36,570 --> 00:12:37,856 Don't dog catch me! 258 00:12:38,010 --> 00:12:39,250 Gotcha! Yeah! 259 00:12:39,370 --> 00:12:40,815 Let's see you get out of this web. 260 00:12:41,130 --> 00:12:42,939 The pill is mine! What the... 261 00:12:43,010 --> 00:12:44,421 What? Get her out. 262 00:12:45,490 --> 00:12:47,174 Stop banging my head! 263 00:12:53,770 --> 00:12:56,296 Dwight, look! It's just a pill, all right? 264 00:12:56,370 --> 00:12:59,613 It's for anxiety. I take it every day, and it makes me feel better. 265 00:13:01,890 --> 00:13:03,779 And maybe it could help you too. 266 00:13:07,450 --> 00:13:08,451 Hey! How'd it go? Hey! 267 00:13:08,530 --> 00:13:10,180 Man, it was great. They were great. 268 00:13:10,250 --> 00:13:11,456 Did you end up investing? 269 00:13:11,730 --> 00:13:13,494 I did, yeah. How much? 270 00:13:13,570 --> 00:13:14,571 Uh... 271 00:13:14,690 --> 00:13:17,773 By the end, I guess it was about 10. 272 00:13:18,770 --> 00:13:21,216 About 10? Ten. It was the full 10. 273 00:13:22,090 --> 00:13:23,854 Wow. Yeah. 274 00:13:24,490 --> 00:13:25,855 Wow. Yeah. 275 00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:27,500 You know, it's a good thing we talked about it, though, 276 00:13:27,570 --> 00:13:29,174 because we had to. Yeah, yeah. I know. 277 00:13:29,250 --> 00:13:30,695 Yeah. 278 00:13:30,770 --> 00:13:33,660 So did everybody end up investing $10,000? 279 00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:35,892 Um... Man, I don't actually know. 280 00:13:36,010 --> 00:13:37,171 What? 281 00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:38,740 They weren't really talking that much about money. 282 00:13:38,810 --> 00:13:41,575 They just said, "We're good with investing," and then I... 283 00:13:41,650 --> 00:13:43,539 Ladies and gentlemen. 284 00:13:44,130 --> 00:13:46,098 Here Comes Treble. 285 00:13:48,050 --> 00:13:49,461 They said they were done with the investing, 286 00:13:49,570 --> 00:13:51,095 and then you volunteered $10,000? 287 00:13:51,610 --> 00:13:54,534 No, lhadto. I needed to look like a team player, Pam. 288 00:13:54,610 --> 00:13:56,851 So you invested $10,000 to look like a team player? 289 00:13:56,930 --> 00:13:58,534 You weren't there. It was very clear 290 00:13:58,650 --> 00:14:00,220 that $10,000 is what we had to do. 291 00:14:00,290 --> 00:14:01,655 We'll talk about it later. 292 00:14:01,770 --> 00:14:03,135 No, I want to talk about it now! 293 00:14:04,330 --> 00:14:06,617 Jim, that was most of our savings. 294 00:14:07,290 --> 00:14:13,218 And I'll be better when I'm older 295 00:14:13,290 --> 00:14:19,980 I'll be the greatest fan of your life 296 00:14:20,050 --> 00:14:21,939 Wait. Wait, hold on. 297 00:14:22,010 --> 00:14:23,614 Where's the band? 298 00:14:23,690 --> 00:14:25,658 'Cause there's no way you guys are making this magic 299 00:14:25,770 --> 00:14:26,771 with just your mouths! 300 00:14:26,890 --> 00:14:27,891 That's what she said. 301 00:14:28,170 --> 00:14:30,138 Why, am I overdoing it? 302 00:14:31,010 --> 00:14:32,853 No. No. 303 00:14:33,770 --> 00:14:35,260 We said some. We said some. 304 00:14:35,370 --> 00:14:36,940 We'll talk about it later. 305 00:14:37,370 --> 00:14:38,940 We said "part.". 306 00:14:41,250 --> 00:14:46,211 And I'll be your crying shoulder 307 00:14:49,530 --> 00:14:50,895 Get your car washed today 308 00:14:50,970 --> 00:14:52,654 Ba-da-bah 309 00:14:52,730 --> 00:14:54,494 Fill up and you don't have to pay 310 00:14:54,570 --> 00:14:55,856 Ba-da-bah 311 00:14:55,930 --> 00:14:58,456 Come on and give us a play 312 00:14:58,530 --> 00:15:00,055 Get a wash Right away 313 00:15:00,130 --> 00:15:01,336 Car wash, yeah! 314 00:15:01,650 --> 00:15:03,140 Yes! Oh, man. 315 00:15:03,210 --> 00:15:04,655 That's how you do that! 316 00:15:04,850 --> 00:15:06,295 Thank you. 317 00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:09,219 Show some pride. This is crap. 318 00:15:09,330 --> 00:15:11,059 I agree. Yes, crap. 319 00:15:11,130 --> 00:15:12,575 Confinue. 320 00:15:12,690 --> 00:15:14,931 Now, folks, by special request, 321 00:15:15,050 --> 00:15:17,337 we're going to take it a little old school. 322 00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:20,813 There is a former Trebler in this room. 323 00:15:21,250 --> 00:15:22,979 Who? It's Mr. Andy Bernard. 324 00:15:28,530 --> 00:15:31,500 No, do not sing that. Do not... Oh, man. 325 00:15:31,570 --> 00:15:34,699 He reminded us today of how much he means to us, 326 00:15:34,770 --> 00:15:37,341 and we certainly seem to mean a lot to him. 327 00:15:37,410 --> 00:15:40,016 So, without any further ado, here's an old Treble classic. 328 00:15:43,530 --> 00:15:47,171 Dank, dank, dank, dank dank, dank, dank, dank, dank 329 00:15:47,250 --> 00:15:49,491 Well, I guess it would be nice 330 00:15:49,570 --> 00:15:51,777 If I could touch your body 331 00:15:51,850 --> 00:15:56,333 I know not everybody Has got a body like you 332 00:15:56,690 --> 00:15:58,374 Whoa! Whoa! 333 00:15:59,930 --> 00:16:02,171 What the hell is Broccoli Rob doing here? 334 00:16:02,250 --> 00:16:04,014 She said you wanted to hear Faith. 335 00:16:04,090 --> 00:16:05,933 That's Broccoli Rob's signature song. 336 00:16:06,010 --> 00:16:08,058 Oh, but I need some time off... 337 00:16:08,130 --> 00:16:10,497 That's my signature song. 338 00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:11,981 I really didn't know that, man. 339 00:16:12,050 --> 00:16:13,654 I just thought you wanted to hear it. 340 00:16:14,410 --> 00:16:16,014 Russell, I'm dressed like George Michael. 341 00:16:17,090 --> 00:16:19,138 Ithoughtyou were Adam Lambert. 342 00:16:19,690 --> 00:16:21,818 The more I hear about all this a cappella drama, 343 00:16:21,890 --> 00:16:25,133 the more I think it's kind of pathetic. 344 00:16:25,210 --> 00:16:27,497 But when you're with someone, you put up with the stuff 345 00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:31,052 that makes you lose respect for them, and that is love. 346 00:16:32,210 --> 00:16:33,291 Are you okay? 347 00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:34,536 He's still mad. 348 00:16:34,610 --> 00:16:37,614 Okay. Shut up, Broccoli! 349 00:16:37,690 --> 00:16:40,660 Champ, I feel awful about this whole thing. 350 00:16:40,730 --> 00:16:41,697 Russell called me up, 351 00:16:41,770 --> 00:16:45,741 and they said they needed 20 cc's of George Michael, stat. 352 00:16:45,810 --> 00:16:49,371 So, just wham! I sprang into action. You know me. 353 00:16:49,450 --> 00:16:52,374 I assumed you wanted to hear me do your signature number. 354 00:16:52,450 --> 00:16:55,659 You thought I wanted to sit in the audience like some slutty Treb rat? 355 00:16:56,250 --> 00:16:58,537 A man's signature solo is his for life, okay? 356 00:16:58,610 --> 00:17:00,100 That's group policy, and you know it. 357 00:17:00,170 --> 00:17:03,060 Look, it's not my fault I still live near campus. 358 00:17:03,130 --> 00:17:06,577 And it's my duty as an alum to be friendly to the young guys, 359 00:17:06,650 --> 00:17:09,699 and stop in two, three times a week. 360 00:17:09,770 --> 00:17:11,101 Just don't do the song anymore. 361 00:17:11,450 --> 00:17:13,771 I tell you what. We'll have a sing-off for it. 362 00:17:13,850 --> 00:17:15,773 You pick 12 alums from any year 363 00:17:15,890 --> 00:17:17,813 to back you up, and I'll do the same. 364 00:17:17,890 --> 00:17:21,053 And I'm so confident that I'll win, I won't even warm up. 365 00:17:21,130 --> 00:17:23,019 Fine, go ahead, thrash your pipes. 366 00:17:23,090 --> 00:17:25,092 My pipes are primo, Champ! 367 00:17:25,170 --> 00:17:28,492 Why don't you ask Trey Anastasio about my pipes? 368 00:17:28,970 --> 00:17:31,496 I knew you would go there, you son of a bitch! 369 00:17:31,570 --> 00:17:36,053 He said, and I quote, "Hey, Rob, nice pipes-" That happened! 370 00:17:36,130 --> 00:17:38,053 Okay. Fine, yeah. That's real! 371 00:17:38,210 --> 00:17:39,541 That's one guy's opinion. That'll never change! 372 00:17:39,610 --> 00:17:40,577 Okay! Okay! 373 00:17:40,650 --> 00:17:44,097 Doesn't mean you're the best singer ever. Dick! 374 00:17:44,170 --> 00:17:45,660 I thought that concert was pretty great. 375 00:17:45,730 --> 00:17:49,530 Oh, yeah, I decided acapelco music is awesome. 376 00:17:49,610 --> 00:17:51,578 They lost me when they sang Monster Mash. 377 00:17:51,650 --> 00:17:54,460 That song obviously glorifies the occult. 378 00:17:54,530 --> 00:17:57,374 Angela, it's Halloween. You have to sing Monster Mash. 379 00:17:57,690 --> 00:18:00,091 You have to, Jim? You literally have to? 380 00:18:01,490 --> 00:18:02,571 Uh... 381 00:18:02,650 --> 00:18:06,780 No, I'm just... I'm saying what would happen if they didn't sing it? 382 00:18:06,850 --> 00:18:09,740 Would they go to jail? Would they be shot? 383 00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:12,538 Okay. We'll just forget it. 384 00:18:12,610 --> 00:18:14,214 No, no! I'm interested. 385 00:18:14,330 --> 00:18:17,937 I mean, I think everybody's interested in why they have to sing it. 386 00:18:18,330 --> 00:18:19,411 Because it is Halloween. 387 00:18:19,490 --> 00:18:20,730 So if you're going to sing a concert, 388 00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:22,181 it's a good idea to throw that one in. 389 00:18:22,250 --> 00:18:24,935 Yeah, yeah. No, no, it's a good idea to brush your teeth, 390 00:18:25,050 --> 00:18:29,977 but you have to, um, feed your children. Send them to school. 391 00:18:30,050 --> 00:18:31,654 You know, all things you can't do 392 00:18:31,730 --> 00:18:33,971 if you just keep singing Monster Mash. 393 00:18:34,050 --> 00:18:40,012 It turns out Pam really, really hates Monster Mash. 394 00:18:40,090 --> 00:18:44,220 I mean, like, never bring that song up in front of her. 395 00:18:44,770 --> 00:18:49,936 Even though Jim was making great points, like, in favor of the song, 396 00:18:50,450 --> 00:18:55,138 Pam was like, "No! Hate it! Stupid!" 397 00:18:56,050 --> 00:18:57,779 This is all so silly, right? 398 00:18:59,850 --> 00:19:01,454 What am I going to do, move back to Cornell? 399 00:19:01,650 --> 00:19:03,015 Yeah. 400 00:19:03,930 --> 00:19:05,341 I mean, what if we did that? 401 00:19:06,490 --> 00:19:09,255 Like, we got jobs, and we were happy all the time? 402 00:19:09,330 --> 00:19:11,571 Oh. Well, Andy, we're not moving to Cornell. 403 00:19:12,330 --> 00:19:15,459 Duh, I know. That would be insane. Yeah. 404 00:19:15,530 --> 00:19:17,851 It could totally work, though. 405 00:19:17,930 --> 00:19:20,092 I don't know why we wouldn't. 406 00:19:21,170 --> 00:19:22,501 Oh, my God, are we doing this? 407 00:19:22,850 --> 00:19:25,694 Oy. Andy, what is going on? 408 00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:29,378 If I am not Boner Champ, 409 00:19:32,010 --> 00:19:33,580 I don't know who I am. 410 00:19:33,650 --> 00:19:36,859 Well, you know, maybe you're the wise old guy 411 00:19:36,930 --> 00:19:41,970 that the new B-O-N-E-R Champ looks up to. 412 00:19:42,090 --> 00:19:43,854 You know, you could just... Make a donation. 413 00:19:43,930 --> 00:19:46,217 Well, I was going to say, be a mentor. 414 00:19:46,290 --> 00:19:47,451 Yes. 415 00:19:48,450 --> 00:19:49,690 I'm going to make a donation. 416 00:19:51,330 --> 00:19:53,059 And it just so happens I know someone 417 00:19:53,130 --> 00:19:55,497 who works at the Bernard Family Foundation. 418 00:19:55,570 --> 00:19:56,571 Her name is Mom. 419 00:19:57,010 --> 00:19:58,011 Oh. 420 00:20:03,690 --> 00:20:05,055 I want some of those pills. 421 00:20:05,130 --> 00:20:07,258 Oh. Well, good for you. 422 00:20:07,330 --> 00:20:08,616 I mean, you'll need a prescription. 423 00:20:08,690 --> 00:20:10,374 Oh, no, no, they're not for me. 424 00:20:10,450 --> 00:20:12,293 They're for my cousin, Mose. 425 00:20:12,370 --> 00:20:15,533 He's just having a tough time, being wifeless, 426 00:20:15,610 --> 00:20:19,171 and a high-pressure job, and his crazy cousin Mose. 427 00:20:19,290 --> 00:20:20,337 Other cousin Mose. Mmm. 428 00:20:20,490 --> 00:20:21,537 Got it. 429 00:20:21,610 --> 00:20:25,820 Well, you tell Mose that he's a good man, 430 00:20:25,890 --> 00:20:27,301 and I hope he feels better. 431 00:20:30,050 --> 00:20:31,620 Which one? 432 00:20:31,690 --> 00:20:33,055 Mose, or the real Mose? 433 00:20:33,130 --> 00:20:34,416 The real Mose. 434 00:20:36,570 --> 00:20:37,571 He says thank you. 435 00:20:40,970 --> 00:20:43,940 Mom? I had this really charitable idea 436 00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:46,934 to set up a scholarship for a cappella kids at Cornell, 437 00:20:47,010 --> 00:20:49,456 and just need to wire some money over there. 438 00:20:50,050 --> 00:20:51,097 What? 439 00:20:52,690 --> 00:20:58,697 Far above the busy humming of the bustling town 440 00:20:59,130 --> 00:21:02,339 Reared against the arch of heaven 441 00:21:02,410 --> 00:21:03,491 What's wrong? 442 00:21:03,570 --> 00:21:04,935 Looks she proudly down 443 00:21:05,010 --> 00:21:06,296 My parents are broke. 444 00:21:07,850 --> 00:21:11,377 Lift the chorus, speed it onward 445 00:21:11,450 --> 00:21:15,296 Loud her praises tell 446 00:21:15,370 --> 00:21:19,773 Hail to thee, our alma mater 447 00:21:19,890 --> 00:21:24,737 Hail, all hall, Cornell! 448 00:21:25,315 --> 00:21:35,315 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/73yfh Help other users to choose the best subtitles