1
00:00:06,110 --> 00:00:08,033
Can you guys come
with me for a minute?

2
00:00:09,630 --> 00:00:11,519
I know you saw me
with the Senator.

3
00:00:11,870 --> 00:00:14,237
I think I'm in love,
possibly for the first time.

4
00:00:14,390 --> 00:00:17,075
So, yes, Senator Lipton
and I are having an affair.

5
00:00:17,310 --> 00:00:23,431
I hope that I can count on your
sensitivity, maturity, and discretion.

6
00:00:30,510 --> 00:00:31,750
Why?

7
00:00:33,150 --> 00:00:39,224
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

8
00:00:41,550 --> 00:00:43,040
All right, good, yeah.
Just sell it

9
00:00:43,110 --> 00:00:44,521
and get the best
price you can. Okay?

10
00:00:44,790 --> 00:00:46,474
Or we can hope
for a holiday rally.

11
00:00:46,590 --> 00:00:48,080
Mike. I'm not
a day trader.

12
00:00:48,230 --> 00:00:50,471
I'm just a first
responder in a disaster.

13
00:00:50,830 --> 00:00:52,753
Andy's family
had a total meltdown.

14
00:00:52,830 --> 00:00:54,434
His dad blew through
all their money and

15
00:00:54,510 --> 00:00:56,239
took off to Argentina
with a younger woman.

16
00:00:56,350 --> 00:00:59,160
And his brother, Walt, Jr.,
locked himself in the wine cellar.

17
00:00:59,390 --> 00:01:01,119
The weirdest part is Andy.

18
00:01:01,590 --> 00:01:03,240
The aftermath
got dumped on him,

19
00:01:03,310 --> 00:01:05,756
and the way he's been
handling it is just so...

20
00:01:06,350 --> 00:01:07,954
Competent.
Right?

21
00:01:08,550 --> 00:01:10,871
Are the Nards hurting? Yeah, you bet.
Got kicked pretty hard.

22
00:01:10,990 --> 00:01:12,480
Family's shattered,
supersad.

23
00:01:12,590 --> 00:01:15,161
But I'm kind of crushing it in
the damage-control department.

24
00:01:15,270 --> 00:01:16,874
So, that's cool.

25
00:01:17,150 --> 00:01:18,879
I wish my dad
could see me now.

26
00:01:19,470 --> 00:01:21,552
Of course, he caused
this whole mess, so

27
00:01:21,630 --> 00:01:22,836
him.

28
00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:25,075
Kevin, listen to me.

29
00:01:25,830 --> 00:01:27,116
I'm in love
with the Senator.

30
00:01:27,310 --> 00:01:31,235
And I need time to sort this
out in a responsible manner,

31
00:01:31,310 --> 00:01:33,881
so I need your help
in keeping it a secret

32
00:01:33,950 --> 00:01:37,432
because this means
the world to me. Okay?

33
00:01:37,990 --> 00:01:41,790
That's beautiful.
No, I totally get that.

34
00:01:42,150 --> 00:01:43,993
Can you do this,
Kevin?

35
00:01:44,590 --> 00:01:47,355
I really want to.

36
00:01:48,070 --> 00:01:50,391
Whatever happens,
always remember that.

37
00:01:50,470 --> 00:01:51,915
I don't know what that means.
Hey. Hey.

38
00:01:52,110 --> 00:01:53,600
Oh. Great.

39
00:01:54,110 --> 00:01:56,556
Yeah, um, I'll get
right back to you.

40
00:01:57,990 --> 00:02:01,597
Hey, guys, has anyone ever heard
of Iris Black on the radio?

41
00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:03,878
Yeah, she hosts
The Dr. Laura Show.

42
00:02:04,030 --> 00:02:05,555
Nope, that's Dr. Laura.

43
00:02:05,710 --> 00:02:07,121
Well, her show, BizWhiz,

44
00:02:07,190 --> 00:02:09,761
wants someone from Dunder Mifflin
to come on the air today.

45
00:02:10,030 --> 00:02:13,273
Does anybody feel particularly
passionate about local business issues?

46
00:02:13,510 --> 00:02:16,878
I do! I do!
I do! I do! I do!

47
00:02:17,190 --> 00:02:19,272
The media
can make you famous.

48
00:02:19,630 --> 00:02:21,394
And do you have any
idea how easy it is

49
00:02:21,470 --> 00:02:23,359
to sell something
when you're famous?

50
00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:24,711
Uh...

51
00:02:24,790 --> 00:02:29,352
Yeah, wow. Ten reams of 40-pound
bond at only $6.90 after discount?

52
00:02:29,430 --> 00:02:31,558
Uh, whatever you say,
Brad Pitt!

53
00:02:32,710 --> 00:02:34,280
It's that easy.

54
00:02:35,070 --> 00:02:37,676
Hey. So, that good-looking
single brother of yours?

55
00:02:37,750 --> 00:02:40,071
Heard he was in a downward
spiral with booze.

56
00:02:40,190 --> 00:02:42,397
Yeah, he's in rehab,
actually.

57
00:02:42,550 --> 00:02:45,520
Which place? The one right near Philly?
I could be there in an hour.

58
00:02:46,150 --> 00:02:47,390
No, it's in New Mexico.

59
00:02:47,470 --> 00:02:48,551
Oh.

60
00:02:49,070 --> 00:02:52,597
So, how are you
holding up?

61
00:02:52,670 --> 00:02:53,751
We're done, Meredith.

62
00:02:54,910 --> 00:02:55,991
Right.

63
00:02:59,230 --> 00:03:01,597
Greta, the tittle-tattle, prattled
on about the little metal bottle.

64
00:03:01,710 --> 00:03:03,439
Oh, my God. She spat a
bit of spittle on the...

65
00:03:03,510 --> 00:03:05,239
Dwight! mottled brittle
cattle in a bitter battle...

66
00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:06,357
Hey, hey!

67
00:03:06,430 --> 00:03:08,319
Stop questioning
my methods, okay?

68
00:03:08,390 --> 00:03:11,951
I was chosen for this task
for a very good reason.

69
00:03:12,110 --> 00:03:13,236
No. You chose yourself.

70
00:03:13,430 --> 00:03:16,479
Tricky Siskel spat
a bit of wicked biscuit.

71
00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:19,679
All right, guys, there's a lot of
assets here that my dad couldn't steal.

72
00:03:19,750 --> 00:03:22,560
Now, first of all,
there is the family boat,

73
00:03:22,750 --> 00:03:24,514
a 43-foot Tartan Sloop.

74
00:03:24,870 --> 00:03:27,032
My lawyer has lined up
a buyer in the Bahamas.

75
00:03:27,110 --> 00:03:29,511
The sale would cover
the cost of a condo

76
00:03:29,590 --> 00:03:31,433
and living
expenses for my mom.

77
00:03:31,630 --> 00:03:32,711
Sounds great.
Perfect.

78
00:03:32,790 --> 00:03:34,838
Totally, except it is
a no-go.

79
00:03:34,950 --> 00:03:37,556
This boat was the heart and
soul of our family, so...

80
00:03:37,630 --> 00:03:39,120
What else we got?
Non-boat ideas.

81
00:03:39,430 --> 00:03:40,920
- What happened?
- Jammed.

82
00:03:41,270 --> 00:03:43,511
- Can this day get worse?
- Excuse me a second.

83
00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:45,638
Yeah, I think
this day could get worse.

84
00:03:45,750 --> 00:03:47,991
You've got about 15 grand in
silverware... What does that mean?

85
00:03:48,070 --> 00:03:50,311
- Kevin!
- ... and napkin rings?

86
00:03:50,550 --> 00:03:52,712
I don't know what
you're talking about.

87
00:03:53,190 --> 00:03:55,113
She could get,
like, 60 packages

88
00:03:55,190 --> 00:03:57,033
of ramen noodles
for five bucks.

89
00:03:57,110 --> 00:03:58,760
She could eat for a month.
Oh, hey. Sorry.

90
00:03:58,830 --> 00:04:00,719
All right, what's the grand total?
Did we make our nut?

91
00:04:01,070 --> 00:04:03,994
If we sell
everything but the boat,

92
00:04:04,070 --> 00:04:06,801
your mom should be set
for about six months.

93
00:04:07,790 --> 00:04:09,155
Guys, you don't understand.

94
00:04:09,230 --> 00:04:11,358
This boat's been in our family
since before I was born.

95
00:04:11,910 --> 00:04:14,516
Yeah. Don't you
guys have that place

96
00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:17,600
where you used to spend your summers
and have all those memories?

97
00:04:17,830 --> 00:04:19,161
I worked at
a Jiffy Lube.

98
00:04:19,310 --> 00:04:21,119
See? I bet you
wouldn't sell that Jiffy Lube

99
00:04:21,190 --> 00:04:23,079
for all the money in the
world, would you, Darryl?

100
00:04:23,150 --> 00:04:25,551
I would if I owned
it and I went broke.

101
00:04:26,070 --> 00:04:27,481
All right.
Uh... All right.

102
00:04:27,550 --> 00:04:29,678
I'm going to tell the lawyer to
pull the trigger on the boat.

103
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:33,831
Yes, the boat means everything to
my family, but we need the money.

104
00:04:34,030 --> 00:04:36,237
Got the memories, don't need the boat.
Can't cry about it.

105
00:04:36,350 --> 00:04:37,511
What are you going to do?
Cry about it?

106
00:04:37,590 --> 00:04:38,671
Excuse me.

107
00:04:40,830 --> 00:04:42,161
Oh! Okay.

108
00:04:42,470 --> 00:04:44,040
No problem. Thanks.

109
00:04:45,710 --> 00:04:48,190
Hey, guys, WPTU called.
The interview's off.

110
00:04:48,870 --> 00:04:51,237
They're opening a new cupcake
store at the Steamtown Mall,

111
00:04:51,350 --> 00:04:53,079
and Iris wants
to cover that, so...

112
00:04:53,270 --> 00:04:54,874
Well, why don't
I go and tell Dwight

113
00:04:54,950 --> 00:04:57,476
so he can stop being
such a complete nipple?

114
00:04:58,390 --> 00:04:59,801
He's going
to be disappointed.

115
00:04:59,870 --> 00:05:02,521
Yes, he is.
And you know what?

116
00:05:03,030 --> 00:05:04,680
We cannot let that happen.

117
00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:12,033
Fax'?
Oh, yeah. Just...

118
00:05:15,430 --> 00:05:16,556
Watermelon teeth.

119
00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:19,396
This isn't how I would
cheer up just anyone, but

120
00:05:19,550 --> 00:05:22,554
it's a girlfriend's job to
know her man, and I know Andy.

121
00:05:23,110 --> 00:05:24,396
He is seriously juvenile.

122
00:05:24,550 --> 00:05:25,881
Cool.

123
00:05:26,830 --> 00:05:29,071
He's like 40, though, right?
Oh, no.

124
00:05:29,310 --> 00:05:31,961
He couldn't be more than,
like, thirties, tops.

125
00:05:32,230 --> 00:05:34,232
Awesome. Have fun.

126
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:38,474
Dunder Mifflin.

127
00:05:38,950 --> 00:05:40,190
Dunder Mifflin.

128
00:05:40,630 --> 00:05:41,756
Good. Sounds...

129
00:05:47,830 --> 00:05:48,956
This is Dwight Schrute.

130
00:05:49,030 --> 00:05:50,475
Please hold for Ms. Black.

131
00:05:53,070 --> 00:05:56,074
And welcome
back to BizWhiz. I'm Iris Black.

132
00:05:56,750 --> 00:05:58,354
On the line we
have Dunder Mifflin's

133
00:05:58,430 --> 00:06:00,637
Senior Sales Associate,
Dwight Schrute.

134
00:06:00,790 --> 00:06:02,792
Iris, thank you so
much for having me.

135
00:06:04,950 --> 00:06:07,078
Help! My teeth are
all messed up in my mouth.

136
00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:11,356
Did you need something?

137
00:06:11,430 --> 00:06:13,353
Oh, I just need
your signature on this.

138
00:06:15,110 --> 00:06:16,191
Okay-

139
00:06:21,430 --> 00:06:22,636
Thanks.

140
00:06:27,190 --> 00:06:30,114
Kevin, we're out of 1138 forms.
Did you order more?

141
00:06:30,630 --> 00:06:33,156
I did not.

142
00:06:33,270 --> 00:06:34,635
Well, I don't know
why I'm surprised.

143
00:06:34,710 --> 00:06:37,077
Literally nothing you could
do could surprise me anymore.

144
00:06:37,670 --> 00:06:40,401
Oh, really, Angela?
That's interesting.

145
00:06:41,110 --> 00:06:43,397
Because I do think
that I could surprise you.

146
00:06:44,590 --> 00:06:47,480
I think that I could
surprise you all the...

147
00:06:47,790 --> 00:06:48,791
Ya!

148
00:06:49,150 --> 00:06:50,595
I have to go
to the bathroom!

149
00:06:50,990 --> 00:06:52,321
That doesn't surprise me.

150
00:06:53,150 --> 00:06:56,074
That actually wasn't the worst cover.
I'd say at least once a week

151
00:06:56,150 --> 00:06:58,676
Kevin runs out of the room shouting
that he has to go to the bathroom.

152
00:06:59,510 --> 00:07:00,955
So the supply forms
are going to be...

153
00:07:01,030 --> 00:07:02,919
I have to go
to the bathroom!

154
00:07:03,550 --> 00:07:05,359
I have to go to the bathroom!

155
00:07:14,790 --> 00:07:18,920
Okay. Who wants to go for a super-fun
lunch with a super-fun girlfriend?

156
00:07:19,270 --> 00:07:21,921
Look, it's not that
I don't want...

157
00:07:21,990 --> 00:07:23,640
Okay. Come on. I got someone
to cover the phones.

158
00:07:23,950 --> 00:07:26,078
I heard on the radio
about a new cupcake place

159
00:07:26,150 --> 00:07:28,198
we could go
for dessert. Perfect.

160
00:07:29,190 --> 00:07:31,716
All I ever wanted to do
was sail the damn thing.

161
00:07:32,670 --> 00:07:34,115
But Dad wouldn't let me.
He said,

162
00:07:34,190 --> 00:07:36,431
"You can't be a skipper
until you're a man."

163
00:07:37,710 --> 00:07:38,996
You know,
I'd reach for the wheel

164
00:07:39,070 --> 00:07:40,640
and he'd just
smack my hand away.

165
00:07:41,230 --> 00:07:43,551
Well, guess what?
Now I'm the man of the family,

166
00:07:43,870 --> 00:07:46,350
and we're selling
the damned thing.

167
00:07:47,830 --> 00:07:49,719
So I'm never going
to have the chance.

168
00:07:49,910 --> 00:07:52,880
Well, when does the boat
leave, exactly? Tonight.

169
00:07:53,230 --> 00:07:56,712
Then screw lunch. Let's go for
a sunset sail. Yeah, right.

170
00:07:56,990 --> 00:08:00,756
It's in Stamford, Connecticut. We'd
have to leave, like, right now.

171
00:08:01,270 --> 00:08:03,398
Okay, well, then let's leave,
like, right now. Yeah, okay.

172
00:08:03,830 --> 00:08:06,561
Yeah, okay! Let's go! Seriously?

173
00:08:06,830 --> 00:08:09,117
Of course, seriously.
Get your coat on.

174
00:08:09,950 --> 00:08:11,190
All right!
All right!

175
00:08:11,270 --> 00:08:12,681
Let's do it!
Let's do it!

176
00:08:15,350 --> 00:08:19,480
Iris, let me tell you. David Wallace
is the CEO, but he's not hands-on.

177
00:08:19,710 --> 00:08:23,032
So the day-to-day operations are
entirely under your command?

178
00:08:23,310 --> 00:08:26,792
"Entirely" is the perfect way
to describe it, Iris.

179
00:08:27,070 --> 00:08:30,517
Excuse me. I'm being told
by my sound engineer, Steve,

180
00:08:30,590 --> 00:08:33,594
that there is a clinking sound
coming from your end.

181
00:08:33,750 --> 00:08:34,911
Does your shirt
have buttons?

182
00:08:35,230 --> 00:08:36,675
Yes.

183
00:08:37,110 --> 00:08:38,953
I'm so sorry. We are
going to have to ask you

184
00:08:39,030 --> 00:08:40,794
to remove
the shirt altogether.

185
00:08:47,550 --> 00:08:49,439
Now, then,
we were saying.

186
00:08:49,550 --> 00:08:51,837
- When my workers gather...
- Oh, I'm so sorry.

187
00:08:52,030 --> 00:08:54,510
I'm told we are still having
problems, Mr. Schrute.

188
00:08:54,990 --> 00:08:58,153
Your voice, it's sounding a little
feminine. That's impossible.

189
00:08:58,350 --> 00:09:01,991
Are you by any chance wearing
pants with a metallic zipper?

190
00:09:07,430 --> 00:09:10,718
The Senator is exhausted. This
campaign is wearing him out.

191
00:09:11,070 --> 00:09:14,517
It's a tough one. That man
he's up against is so dirty,

192
00:09:14,590 --> 00:09:17,639
and the Senator is just pushing
back as hard as he can.

193
00:09:17,710 --> 00:09:21,317
Hmm! Please stop!
What?

194
00:09:21,510 --> 00:09:24,081
Please stop.

195
00:09:24,590 --> 00:09:26,672
Anyways,
last night he was so tired,

196
00:09:26,790 --> 00:09:29,396
he just wanted a little Mexican brought in.

197
00:09:29,750 --> 00:09:32,117
I can't!
It's too much!

198
00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:39,274
I'm in big trouble.

199
00:09:39,590 --> 00:09:41,831
Yeah, Oscar's in big trouble.

200
00:09:47,110 --> 00:09:48,600
Okay, how is
my voice now?

201
00:09:48,670 --> 00:09:50,274
I'm getting the
all-clear from Steve.

202
00:09:50,510 --> 00:09:52,717
So, Mr. Schrute,
what is your response

203
00:09:52,790 --> 00:09:54,440
to the Consumer
Product Safety Commission

204
00:09:54,590 --> 00:09:57,275
that says Dunder Mifflin
paper is toxic?

205
00:09:58,390 --> 00:10:00,040
This is gotcha journalism.
But you know what?

206
00:10:00,110 --> 00:10:01,350
They're not gonna gotch me.

207
00:10:01,550 --> 00:10:03,871
It's clearly not
an accounting mistake.

208
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:05,760
Oh, Kevin.
So...

209
00:10:06,830 --> 00:10:08,832
His gambling problem
must have resurfaced.

210
00:10:09,670 --> 00:10:11,115
I'm going to have
to send him home

211
00:10:11,190 --> 00:10:12,919
until I can do
aninvesfigafion.

212
00:10:13,190 --> 00:10:15,557
Well, you gotta do
what you gotta do, so...

213
00:10:17,470 --> 00:10:18,915
This is slander,
Ms. Black.

214
00:10:19,190 --> 00:10:24,071
Slander, I say. I dare you to produce
one credible source about this.

215
00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:26,158
Well, as it happens,
we have with us

216
00:10:26,350 --> 00:10:29,593
the foreman of your Upstate New
York paper mill, Sondra Mc...

217
00:10:29,870 --> 00:10:31,031
Sondra Mick!

218
00:10:32,150 --> 00:10:33,959
Good afternoon, Iris.
It's a pleasure.

219
00:10:34,150 --> 00:10:36,278
I'll get straight to the point.
ls your paper toxic?

220
00:10:36,710 --> 00:10:38,121
No. The paper's not toxic.

221
00:10:38,190 --> 00:10:39,191
Thank you, Sondra!

222
00:10:39,390 --> 00:10:42,951
Unless it's exposed to oxygen.
Then it becomes extremely toxic.

223
00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:45,795
Do not listen to her! This
employee is obviously disgruntled!

224
00:10:45,870 --> 00:10:48,601
What the heck is going on?
The stock price is plummeting!

225
00:10:48,830 --> 00:10:50,480
Are you going to get
control of the message

226
00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:52,200
or do I have to send in someone
who understands the media?

227
00:10:52,270 --> 00:10:53,840
Get out of here, moron!
Okay!

228
00:10:53,910 --> 00:10:55,992
Excuse me, Mr. Dwight,
who are you talking to?

229
00:10:56,070 --> 00:10:59,233
Uh... No one. Did you just call Ms.
Mick a moron?

230
00:10:59,310 --> 00:11:01,881
No, everything's fine!
Are you insulting my guests?

231
00:11:04,790 --> 00:11:06,838
Okay, I will be
right there.

232
00:11:09,150 --> 00:11:12,359
Hey, Oscar, what if I'm
getting a promotion?

233
00:11:13,070 --> 00:11:15,198
I hope that's it, Kevin.
Me, too.

234
00:11:15,590 --> 00:11:18,241
'Cause then I would
get my own office.

235
00:11:19,150 --> 00:11:21,881
And I wouldn't screw up
your secret with Angela.

236
00:11:22,550 --> 00:11:24,917
I've been really
worried about that.

237
00:11:31,270 --> 00:11:34,114
Hi, Kevin. Look, I need
to talk to you about...

238
00:11:34,190 --> 00:11:35,919
Hey, guys?

239
00:11:36,150 --> 00:11:38,118
Excuse me. Um...
A quick word?

240
00:11:38,470 --> 00:11:40,916
Please, just... Oscar, we're
in the middle of talking.

241
00:11:40,990 --> 00:11:42,958
I know. I'm so sorry.
Snack machine, on me.

242
00:11:44,030 --> 00:11:47,637
Well, that is nice.
Huh. Classy move.

243
00:11:49,430 --> 00:11:51,956
That's what I'm saying!
No, of course not!

244
00:11:53,950 --> 00:11:55,190
What are you doing?

245
00:11:56,590 --> 00:11:58,080
Those figures I gave you?

246
00:11:58,550 --> 00:11:59,551
They're false.

247
00:11:59,710 --> 00:12:03,032
No.
I was mad at Kevin.

248
00:12:03,110 --> 00:12:06,512
We had a fight,
and I acted vindictively.

249
00:12:07,390 --> 00:12:09,358
So you set him up.

250
00:12:09,430 --> 00:12:10,431
Yes. He's innocent.

251
00:12:11,830 --> 00:12:15,312
I knew it. I knew it from the
beginning this was a possibility.

252
00:12:15,630 --> 00:12:17,553
What are you talking about?
I just did this now.

253
00:12:17,630 --> 00:12:18,631
Oh, no.

254
00:12:18,710 --> 00:12:22,112
A few years ago, when I was on the
jury, the Scranton Strangler?

255
00:12:22,190 --> 00:12:23,316
Sure.

256
00:12:23,590 --> 00:12:25,035
I always thought he
might have been set up,

257
00:12:25,110 --> 00:12:26,475
but I felt
pressured to convict.

258
00:12:26,710 --> 00:12:28,121
Well, that's
got to be tough.

259
00:12:28,350 --> 00:12:30,876
Tough? I put an innocent
man on death row.

260
00:12:31,990 --> 00:12:34,470
The fallout from this morning's
revelation continues to mount.

261
00:12:34,590 --> 00:12:36,797
Since Mr. Dwight
Schrute began speaking,

262
00:12:37,070 --> 00:12:40,074
Dunder Mifflin
share prices fell 73%.

263
00:12:40,270 --> 00:12:42,238
Mr. Schrute,
shareholders demand

264
00:12:42,310 --> 00:12:44,199
accountability from
corporate leadership.

265
00:12:44,590 --> 00:12:46,479
Can we announce your
resignation at this time?

266
00:12:46,550 --> 00:12:49,599
My resignation? What are you talking about?
No! I'm just following orders!

267
00:12:49,710 --> 00:12:52,190
Listen, the person responsible
for this catastrophe

268
00:12:52,310 --> 00:12:54,995
is the CEO and Chairman,
David Wallace!

269
00:12:56,830 --> 00:12:58,639
That's yours? That's
the family boat, right there.

270
00:12:58,710 --> 00:13:00,200
0h, my gosh, Andy!

271
00:13:00,830 --> 00:13:02,355
This is enormous!
Right?

272
00:13:02,430 --> 00:13:06,230
I thought it was going to be tiny!
Oh, my gosh, it's beautiful.

273
00:13:06,590 --> 00:13:08,877
So this is how your
family came to America.

274
00:13:09,950 --> 00:13:12,032
Move.
Sorry?

275
00:13:12,430 --> 00:13:14,114
I'm trying to rig a boat here.
I don't know how to do that

276
00:13:14,190 --> 00:13:15,351
when you're
standing in the way.

277
00:13:15,430 --> 00:13:17,478
Sure. I'm not...
I didn't know...

278
00:13:17,590 --> 00:13:20,321
I'm not a ghost, so I can't
walk through people.

279
00:13:21,070 --> 00:13:22,993
Okay?
Okay! He was salty.

280
00:13:23,070 --> 00:13:24,834
He is, a little bit.

281
00:13:25,750 --> 00:13:27,479
How you doing, old buddy?
Missed you.

282
00:13:27,590 --> 00:13:28,830
What does that one do?

283
00:13:28,950 --> 00:13:30,190
This raises the mainsail.

284
00:13:30,550 --> 00:13:31,915
That was my job
when we went sailing.

285
00:13:31,990 --> 00:13:33,196
I wish I had seen you do it.

286
00:13:33,710 --> 00:13:35,235
Really?
Yeah!

287
00:13:36,910 --> 00:13:39,481
Up she goes!
Don't do that.

288
00:13:40,710 --> 00:13:42,155
Don't do that.
Oh, it's okay.

289
00:13:42,230 --> 00:13:43,561
My girlfriend and I
were actually gonna

290
00:13:43,710 --> 00:13:45,041
take her for
a little spin and a picnic

291
00:13:45,110 --> 00:13:46,271
before you guys
head out tonight.

292
00:13:46,390 --> 00:13:48,233
You know what? Get some dinner, on me...
No. Nope.

293
00:13:48,790 --> 00:13:50,280
Can't do that.
Got it.

294
00:13:51,110 --> 00:13:52,953
You know what?
Then we'll just take it

295
00:13:53,030 --> 00:13:54,794
for a quick little
spin around the harbor.

296
00:13:55,910 --> 00:13:57,116
We've already
started boarding.

297
00:13:57,190 --> 00:13:59,591
No one's insured to rig or
operate now, except us.

298
00:13:59,750 --> 00:14:01,514
You know what?
Chill, okay?

299
00:14:01,790 --> 00:14:04,475
I own the boat.
I'm not going to sue myself.

300
00:14:04,750 --> 00:14:06,081
All right? So just...

301
00:14:07,470 --> 00:14:09,359
Wow! I can smack you all
day if you keep touching

302
00:14:09,430 --> 00:14:10,761
what you're not
supposed to touch.

303
00:14:12,430 --> 00:14:13,795
Okay, fine.
Okay?

304
00:14:13,910 --> 00:14:15,196
Yeah. Fine.
Good stuff.

305
00:14:15,270 --> 00:14:17,034
Good stuff! Great stuff.
Great.

306
00:14:20,590 --> 00:14:22,877
Damn it!
Screw you, Dad!

307
00:14:23,110 --> 00:14:24,111
Huh.

308
00:14:26,630 --> 00:14:29,839
Well, we're doing it. We're finally
having a picnic on the boat!

309
00:14:31,550 --> 00:14:34,076
I've had a thousand
picnics on this boat.

310
00:14:35,070 --> 00:14:36,481
The point was
for me to sail it.

311
00:14:36,950 --> 00:14:41,114
Andy, you never had to
sail the boat to be a man.

312
00:14:42,110 --> 00:14:43,714
Fine, but I could have.

313
00:14:44,110 --> 00:14:48,115
As long as we're on this boat, as far
as I'm concerned, you're the captain.

314
00:14:48,190 --> 00:14:50,397
I am the captain.
Yeah.

315
00:14:50,630 --> 00:14:51,916
Right?
Yeah!

316
00:14:54,550 --> 00:14:56,120
I'm the captain.

317
00:15:00,150 --> 00:15:02,915
Hey, Charm School!
What?

318
00:15:03,430 --> 00:15:05,956
I'm taking over from here.
Nice!

319
00:15:07,270 --> 00:15:10,558
Okay, I hate to ruin
this moment, or breakdown,

320
00:15:10,630 --> 00:15:13,236
but you already signed the papers.
So if you want your boat back,

321
00:15:13,310 --> 00:15:15,631
you can pick it up there
in the Bahamas in 10 days.

322
00:15:15,750 --> 00:15:18,037
Yeah, I know, because I'm
sailing it there. Okay, no.

323
00:15:18,270 --> 00:15:20,511
I already said, you're not
getting back your deposit.

324
00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:22,001
Fine. Keep it.

325
00:15:22,150 --> 00:15:24,391
Just leave the supplies,
I already paid for those.

326
00:15:26,510 --> 00:15:28,478
How much for that
cool fisherman's sweater?

327
00:15:30,150 --> 00:15:32,721
For those just joining us,
terror in Greenwich,

328
00:15:32,950 --> 00:15:34,714
where the police have
surrounded the house

329
00:15:34,790 --> 00:15:37,031
of Dunder Mifflin
CEO David Wallace.

330
00:15:37,230 --> 00:15:39,198
Wallace is said
to be despondent

331
00:15:39,350 --> 00:15:41,318
over the company's stock
plummet,

332
00:15:41,470 --> 00:15:43,359
and has taken
a mailman hostage.

333
00:15:43,630 --> 00:15:47,430
On the line we have
Chief of Greenwich Police

334
00:15:47,870 --> 00:15:51,352
Mr. Bill Jackson. Good afternoon.

335
00:15:52,550 --> 00:15:53,961
Please, sir,
spare him!

336
00:15:54,110 --> 00:15:55,111
Please!

337
00:15:55,190 --> 00:15:57,921
Uh, this Wallace guy's
looking at hard time,

338
00:15:58,110 --> 00:15:59,680
and we only know
this because of

339
00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:01,559
what Dwight
Snoot said on record.

340
00:16:01,870 --> 00:16:04,714
Okay, everyone! Everyone hold on!
I've got a solution.

341
00:16:05,630 --> 00:16:08,156
I know Wallace's phone number!
Everyone hold, I'll conference him in!

342
00:16:08,470 --> 00:16:11,314
Oh, no, Mr. Schrute, there's really
no need to, um, involve Mr. Wallace.

343
00:16:12,710 --> 00:16:15,031
Do you even know what you're doing?
Yeah.

344
00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:18,160
Yeah, I know how to hoist the mainsail.
I know how to...

345
00:16:18,270 --> 00:16:22,400
These buttons control
the bilge pumps and stuff.

346
00:16:22,470 --> 00:16:25,519
I also know where
the booze stash is. Hello!

347
00:16:27,230 --> 00:16:28,356
Walt?

348
00:16:29,390 --> 00:16:31,836
Oh, God! Thank
goodness you're here.

349
00:16:32,190 --> 00:16:34,397
I was having
a little trouble

350
00:16:34,590 --> 00:16:37,560
with this door, uh, yesterday.
I, uh...

351
00:16:39,710 --> 00:16:41,200
I think it was yesterday.

352
00:16:41,510 --> 00:16:42,716
I thought you were in rehab.

353
00:16:42,870 --> 00:16:46,716
Yeah, I just, uh... I figured I'd get
that first relapse out of the way.

354
00:16:47,390 --> 00:16:51,111
God, what's happened to our family?
Everything is so messed up.

355
00:16:51,990 --> 00:16:54,436
How did you even know I was in here?
I didn't.

356
00:16:54,550 --> 00:16:56,632
I just came to say
goodbye to the boat,

357
00:16:57,390 --> 00:16:59,074
but I've decided
to sail it to Bermuda.

358
00:16:59,150 --> 00:17:00,595
Bahamas, Andy.

359
00:17:00,670 --> 00:17:01,796
Same thing.

360
00:17:02,310 --> 00:17:03,471
I need a crew.

361
00:17:03,990 --> 00:17:05,276
You should be my crew!

362
00:17:05,710 --> 00:17:08,475
Three weeks, open ocean, no booze.
You need this.

363
00:17:08,630 --> 00:17:12,191
- I need it. We need this. Serious bro time.
- Come on.

364
00:17:12,710 --> 00:17:14,280
Hello?
David, is that you?

365
00:17:14,470 --> 00:17:16,871
Dwight? Oh, thank God!
Oh, thank God!

366
00:17:16,950 --> 00:17:18,600
Are you okay?
ls everyone okay?

367
00:17:18,710 --> 00:17:21,031
Yeah. Are you okay?
I'm okay.

368
00:17:21,270 --> 00:17:24,672
I just want you to know
that I believe in you.

369
00:17:25,150 --> 00:17:29,792
I really do, and I believe in your
ability to make the right choices.

370
00:17:30,230 --> 00:17:33,473
- I always have, David.
- Well, thanks, Dwight.

371
00:17:33,630 --> 00:17:34,995
You're welcome, sir.

372
00:17:35,750 --> 00:17:38,037
But David,
listen to me carefully.

373
00:17:38,310 --> 00:17:42,156
I'm going to need you
to let the mailman go, okay?

374
00:17:42,390 --> 00:17:44,074
Walk out of the house...
What?

375
00:17:44,190 --> 00:17:45,840
with your hands
on top of your head.

376
00:17:45,910 --> 00:17:47,799
Everything is
going to be fine.

377
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:51,359
Dunder Mifflin will be in good
hands while you're away in prison.

378
00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:53,395
Okay. Dwight?
I'm going to ask you

379
00:17:53,470 --> 00:17:55,791
to not call me on my
cell anymore. Gotta go.

380
00:18:00,750 --> 00:18:02,081
Wait a minute.

381
00:18:03,030 --> 00:18:05,112
You guys? You heard?

382
00:18:05,670 --> 00:18:07,672
Schrute! Schrute!
Schrute! Schrute!

383
00:18:07,790 --> 00:18:10,236
Schrute! Schrute!
Schrute! Schrute!

384
00:18:10,310 --> 00:18:11,357
Schrute! Schrute!

385
00:18:11,550 --> 00:18:13,598
Overall, I'd say my
first radio interview

386
00:18:13,670 --> 00:18:15,240
went pretty much
the way I expected.

387
00:18:16,910 --> 00:18:20,073
Well, Oscar, I did not
get the promotion.

388
00:18:20,150 --> 00:18:22,676
He just wanted to update
my personal information.

389
00:18:22,950 --> 00:18:24,520
Well, I'm sorry, Kevin.

390
00:18:25,790 --> 00:18:28,555
Why on Earth would you think
you were getting a promotion?

391
00:18:28,710 --> 00:18:30,360
You know what,
Angela? I...

392
00:18:30,430 --> 00:18:32,558
Oh, my God!

393
00:18:32,670 --> 00:18:34,798
Honey!
What are you doing here?

394
00:18:34,870 --> 00:18:36,440
Oh, I just had
an intuition

395
00:18:36,510 --> 00:18:39,559
that someone I love needed a
little of my attention today.

396
00:18:40,390 --> 00:18:42,279
Oscar!
Looking very healthy.

397
00:18:43,070 --> 00:18:44,799
Getting lots
of vigorous exercise?

398
00:18:44,870 --> 00:18:47,032
Oh, no.

399
00:18:47,870 --> 00:18:51,955
Oscar? What is going on? What was that?

400
00:18:52,030 --> 00:18:54,112
What was that? I'm sorry. I
didn't mean any offense.

401
00:18:54,190 --> 00:18:55,271
I was just
trying to be friendly.

402
00:18:55,350 --> 00:18:56,636
You know what?
I'm sorry.

403
00:18:56,830 --> 00:18:59,674
I overreacted
because I'm stressed out.

404
00:19:00,550 --> 00:19:02,439
Why am I stressed out?
Who's not stressed out?

405
00:19:02,710 --> 00:19:04,553
Who's not stressed out?
Come on, Oscar.

406
00:19:05,070 --> 00:19:08,279
We're not just going to sit
here and ignore the obvious.

407
00:19:08,750 --> 00:19:11,913
Senator Lipton has a big
election next week.

408
00:19:12,270 --> 00:19:14,398
We all need to
give him our support!

409
00:19:16,390 --> 00:19:19,314
Thank you. Thank you.
Thanks, everybody.

410
00:19:19,910 --> 00:19:21,321
This is really cool.

411
00:19:22,670 --> 00:19:25,753
USA! USA!

412
00:19:27,550 --> 00:19:30,554
I have to say, I'm impressed
with Kevin. Uh...

413
00:19:32,270 --> 00:19:34,637
He showed a lot
of self-control.

414
00:19:35,230 --> 00:19:38,234
I totally forgot about
the affair for a minute.

415
00:19:41,350 --> 00:19:44,911
Oscar is having
sex with the Senator

416
00:19:44,990 --> 00:19:47,675
and Angela
doesn't even know.

417
00:19:50,070 --> 00:19:53,074
Her life is a complete sham!

418
00:19:55,550 --> 00:19:58,360
All right, guys, cast us off.
Walt! All aboard!

419
00:19:58,750 --> 00:20:03,438
Erin, this is because of you. Do you
realize that? You're the best ever!

420
00:20:03,990 --> 00:20:06,118
Oh, you know,
just being a good girlfriend.

421
00:20:06,270 --> 00:20:09,114
Good? Come on!
Above and beyond!

422
00:20:09,190 --> 00:20:11,955
World's greatest!
You did this!

423
00:20:13,590 --> 00:20:14,716
Damn it, I'm happy!

424
00:20:14,790 --> 00:20:17,555
Yes, lam very
pleased I could help Andy.

425
00:20:17,630 --> 00:20:20,076
Would I have gone
with him if he'd asked me?

426
00:20:20,230 --> 00:20:23,473
On his sailboat cruise
to the Caribbean? Yes.

427
00:20:23,630 --> 00:20:26,395
I think that would have been
really fun and romantic.

428
00:20:26,830 --> 00:20:28,161
I'll see you in three weeks!
Okay!

429
00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:31,080
Hey, bro! It was here all along!
No way!

430
00:20:31,190 --> 00:20:32,316
Way!

431
00:20:32,990 --> 00:20:36,631
Erin, I gotta go!
Them's my chords!

432
00:20:43,630 --> 00:20:45,917
Hey! She's back.

433
00:20:46,310 --> 00:20:48,438
Thanks for covering the phones.
Yeah, no problem.

434
00:20:48,510 --> 00:20:49,921
How was it?
Fine.

435
00:20:56,150 --> 00:20:58,073
Hey, some buddies and I
are going to Poor Richard's

436
00:20:58,150 --> 00:20:59,561
for beers and pool.
You want to come?

437
00:21:00,150 --> 00:21:01,914
I can't promise
you too much, but

438
00:21:01,990 --> 00:21:04,038
you might get to meet
my friend Flipper.

439
00:21:04,350 --> 00:21:05,715
Does he have a flipper?

440
00:21:06,150 --> 00:21:08,994
Oh. Nope. It's not that.
He, uh...

441
00:21:09,670 --> 00:21:12,071
He flipped a table one time
when he was drunk.

442
00:21:12,550 --> 00:21:13,995
He sounds like an idiot.

443
00:21:14,950 --> 00:21:16,281
Yeah, he is.

444
00:21:18,150 --> 00:21:19,276
Okay-

445
00:21:20,030 --> 00:21:21,031
Okay!

446
00:21:21,190 --> 00:21:23,033
Thanks.
Yeah!

447
00:21:23,455 --> 00:21:33,455
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.