1
00:00:01,080 --> 00:00:04,801
To me, the Sixers
are a five seed, tops.

2
00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:06,803
I think they're going to
the conference finals.

3
00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:10,726
Bynum, obvious monster, three-point
shooting, don't even...

4
00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:13,809
I bit my lip at
lunch today.

5
00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:16,845
Sucks.

6
00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:19,287
Anyway, I just don't see it.
The Knicks are tough.

7
00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:21,086
The Nets are tough.

8
00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:22,850
The Nets
are super tough.

9
00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:26,288
And now I have this big bump
on my lip that hurts!

10
00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:28,281
I hate it.

11
00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:31,202
The Hawks are terrible.

12
00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:32,725
They're always terrible.

13
00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:36,003
Okay, you need to think about
it before you come with the...

14
00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:41,682
Whatever.
It's not a big deal.

15
00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:43,000
You know, I always
tell my three-year-old,

16
00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:44,809
if this is the worst thing
that's going to happen...

17
00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:46,530
You got to be
kidding me!

18
00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:50,605
Okay, Pam! That's it!
I'm going home!

19
00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:58,194
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

20
00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:05,324
Morning, Meredith!

21
00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:07,121
What?

22
00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:09,091
Sorry, Pam.

23
00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:10,321
Yikes.

24
00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:14,331
Jim's been spending a few
days a week in Philly,

25
00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:17,483
and I'm not going to lie,
it's been challenging.

26
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,242
Yesterday, things took
a turn for the worse.

27
00:01:22,320 --> 00:01:24,368
I found out
Cece has lice.

28
00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:26,165
So, I was up all night

29
00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:29,847
disinfecting every
sheet, towel, toy,

30
00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:32,764
item of clothing
in the entire house.

31
00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:34,968
I'm exhausted.

32
00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:36,326
But don't tell Jim.

33
00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:38,888
He has a huge
meeting today.

34
00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:41,482
Under a lot of pressure,

35
00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:43,884
and he's doing it
all for the family.

36
00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:48,365
I am meeting Dr. J today,
otherwise known as Julius Erving,

37
00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:51,683
famed 76er
and my own personal hero.

38
00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:54,001
But I have to be careful not
to rub it in Pam's face,

39
00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:55,730
because
let's be honest.

40
00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:58,326
How would I feel if I was at
home, stuck with the kids

41
00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:02,200
while she was go-karting
with John Stamos?

42
00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:04,808
You sound tired.
Everything okay?

43
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,729
Great!
Everything's great!

44
00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:08,842
Hey, are you nervous
about your big meeting?

45
00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:12,284
Little bit. It's a lot
of pressure, you know?

46
00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:14,044
But that's what I
signed up for, right?

47
00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:15,929
Jim, the limo's here.

48
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:20,766
You know what? I've got to hop
off, because my taxi is here

49
00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:22,080
to take me
to the meeting.

50
00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:23,366
Call me later.
Okay.

51
00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:24,441
Good luck!
Thanks.

52
00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:26,010
I love you.
Love you, too. Bye.

53
00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:30,569
How you doing?
I'm okay.

54
00:02:30,640 --> 00:02:31,926
I mean, it's what
you want, so...

55
00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:33,411
It's how it has to be.

56
00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:35,330
I know, I know.

57
00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:36,921
It's just hard.

58
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:39,207
Me and Val were going nowhere,

59
00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:40,964
and if I'm going to
be working in Philly,

60
00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:42,485
I'm going to need my freedom.

61
00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:44,801
So I convinced Val
to break up with me.

62
00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:45,881
Here's how you do it.

63
00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:48,691
You say, "What are you going
to do, break up with me?"

64
00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:49,966
Like, as a joke

65
00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:51,963
and then you gain
a lot of weight.

66
00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:54,680
I'll never be sorry.
Not for a moment of it.

67
00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:55,966
Me neither.

68
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:02,287
Hey, Meredith, I need your
supply requests today.

69
00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:05,125
Jesus H. in the morning, will
you stop your nagging already?

70
00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:06,480
No wonder Jim left you.

71
00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:08,881
He didn't leave me.
He just went part-time.

72
00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:14,285
Can you just fill out
the form, please?

73
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:15,407
Yes.

74
00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:19,648
I'm sure she's
just confused.

75
00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:22,246
People scratch their heads
when they're confused.

76
00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:26,927
Not always like an ape, the way
Meredith just did, but it happens.

77
00:03:27,920 --> 00:03:29,081
Hurry up already.

78
00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:30,685
Trust me, I know what I'm doing.

79
00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:34,321
Between the foster homes and the
orphanage, I had lice 22 times.

80
00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:36,841
Holy wow,
that's a big one.

81
00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:39,287
All right, pencils down,
everyone, we've got lice!

82
00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:44,451
God, Meredith! Lice? Did you
not sign a pledge to shower?

83
00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:47,087
What? Lice?

84
00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:48,966
Oh, my God.

85
00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:51,361
Lock the doors,
we are on full quarantine!

86
00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:55,126
Dwight, relax! It's just lice.
Maybe. Possibly.

87
00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:57,282
Just lice, Pam?

88
00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:00,611
Of all the vermin in God's
great green kingdom,

89
00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:03,047
lice are the ones
I detest the most.

90
00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:06,886
My first day of school, I had lice
and no one would play with me.

91
00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:09,725
For 15 years,
they called me freak,

92
00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:12,644
and four-eyes, and sci-fi
nerd and girl puncher,

93
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:15,121
all because I had
lice when I was seven.

94
00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:17,728
Make way. No, inspect me.
Dwight!

95
00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:23,644
This is the cleanest scalp I've ever seen.
You are all clear.

96
00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:26,121
I should be. I use lice
shampoo every morning.

97
00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:28,484
Hey!
Stop that!

98
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:29,965
Dwight!

99
00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:31,491
Next.

100
00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:33,927
Geez, Meredith!
This is an office,

101
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:35,843
it's not one of
your beanbag orgies.

102
00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:37,331
Let's give her a break.

103
00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:39,926
We don't know for sure
this is Meredith's fault.

104
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:43,004
Pam, really? Come on.

105
00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:45,401
Well, what do you want?
I know who I am.

106
00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:46,845
Nobody's taking
Meredith Palmer

107
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:48,365
to the opera
to meet the Queen.

108
00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:49,726
Lice! More lice.

109
00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:51,446
Angela has lice.

110
00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:52,687
Ew!

111
00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:55,808
Ooh! Yabber. Lice!

112
00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:57,405
Yikers, lice.

113
00:04:57,520 --> 00:04:59,045
No!

114
00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:01,248
How? I'm so clean.

115
00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:03,129
Yeah, big time lice.
Ah!

116
00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:06,522
I wash my hands at least six times a day.
Toilet seat covers?

117
00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:08,090
Yes, thank you,
even when I pee.

118
00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:10,401
Apparently none of that
is protection enough,

119
00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:12,369
not when it
comes to Meredith.

120
00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:16,640
Oh!

121
00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:18,290
Hey, what are you wearing?

122
00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:21,682
It's a hazmat suit. That stands
for hazardous materials...

123
00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:24,601
Men's suit wearing.

124
00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:27,411
If you rent more than four times a
year, it just makes sense to buy.

125
00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:30,723
ls there anyone else
here that is lice free?

126
00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:34,962
Excellent! You have
your own hazmat suits?

127
00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:36,371
No.
No.

128
00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:37,891
Renters.

129
00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:40,042
Okay, I'm going to need you
to gather your belongings,

130
00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:42,122
retreat to the warehouse,

131
00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:43,964
conduct your
business there

132
00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:46,247
until the infected
have been de-loused.

133
00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:48,681
Let's get going. I'm going
to stay here and fight.

134
00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:51,047
If you don't hear from
me by lunch, call me.

135
00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:52,565
I might want lunch.

136
00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:54,768
All right, we're going
down to my warehouse.

137
00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:57,087
That means we're
playing by my rules.

138
00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:58,811
No messing with the baler.

139
00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:00,723
And be cool in front of me
and Val, we just broke up.

140
00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:03,006
You got dumped?

141
00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:04,411
Yeah, she ended things.

142
00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:05,885
Break-ups
are the worst.

143
00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:07,200
The only thing that
got me through mine

144
00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:08,526
was large amounts
of shepherd's pie

145
00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:11,444
and Brandy, the singer,
not the drink.

146
00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:15,966
Here, man. You need
that more than me.

147
00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:17,530
Thanks, man.
Yeah.

148
00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:23,921
Guys, I think we should
all ease up on Meredith.

149
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,445
This has got to
be hard for her.

150
00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:28,729
No, no, no, no. I have not
yet begun to shame.

151
00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:31,167
That's it! I'm getting my stuff.
I'm leaving for the day.

152
00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:32,441
No! Stanley!

153
00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:34,045
If you leave now, then
you'll get it in your car

154
00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:35,690
and then you'll
get it in your house!

155
00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:36,841
Get off me!

156
00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:38,490
I'm trying to save
you from yourself!

157
00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:40,722
All right, I'll stay!

158
00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:43,288
There's a pencil
poking into my rolls.

159
00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:46,370
PAM". Maybe it was Meredith.

160
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:49,046
Maybe she brought in lice
that are totally different

161
00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:51,407
than the lice
that I got from Cece.

162
00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:55,804
So, let's not jump to the simplest
conclusion that she got her lice from me!

163
00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:58,087
That is how wars
get started.

164
00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:01,971
Fine, I'll tell her
it was me.

165
00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:06,891
Oh, man!
That's fresh squeezed!

166
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:09,406
And are all
the snacks complimentary?

167
00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:11,767
Yeah. Take some home
if you want.

168
00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:13,808
No, that's okay. I'm...

169
00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:24,570
I'm sorry, is this
the conference center?

170
00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:27,962
No, Mr. Erving called, said he'd
rather meet you at his private court.

171
00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:31,489
You've got to be kidding me.

172
00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:37,211
Hey, Meredith, I need to tell you some...
Yeah, Pam? What do you want?

173
00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:39,328
Oh, my God! Meredith.
What are you doing?

174
00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:41,129
Baking a cake. What does
it look like I'm doing?

175
00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:42,884
Getting rid of the lice.
Stop!

176
00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:44,007
I'm so sorry!

177
00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:45,127
Can you hold that thought?

178
00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:46,850
That's my wax.
You know, I think

179
00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:48,570
these critters
migrated from down south.

180
00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:51,521
What were you saying?

181
00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:53,526
Nothing.

182
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:57,571
I'm going to tell her. But
now is clearly not the time.

183
00:07:57,640 --> 00:08:01,406
I will buy her a wig,
we'll have a few laughs.

184
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:03,767
There's a right
way to do this.

185
00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:10,567
Scalp leeches. Skull vampires.
Follicle gypsies.

186
00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:12,130
Hair lawyers.

187
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,567
One thing is clear,
it's kill or be killed!

188
00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:18,531
No, no, no. It's more of a nuisance,
really. It's not that big a deal.

189
00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:20,204
So, I've collected your
hats and your coats...

190
00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:21,281
To be burned!

191
00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:22,447
To be washed.

192
00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:23,965
What do we do
about our heads'?

193
00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:26,691
I'm not going
to lie. Lye!

194
00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:28,922
No. All we need
is mayonnaise.

195
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:30,206
Excuse me?

196
00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:31,560
She's right, it works.

197
00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:33,531
I would imagine.

198
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,126
Yes, it helps to suffocate
the little buddies.

199
00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:38,123
And it's a really
healthy alternative to

200
00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:40,248
the chemicals found
in most lice shampoos.

201
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:41,651
I can appreciate that.

202
00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:44,405
I also only eat local,
organic produce.

203
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:47,761
Sha-boom!

204
00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:49,245
How you like me now?

205
00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:52,485
Take a picture,
it'll last longer.

206
00:08:52,560 --> 00:08:55,040
We don't want it to
last longer. It's horrible.

207
00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:56,645
Bald people make me sick.

208
00:08:56,760 --> 00:08:59,001
Yeah, yeah, everybody
pile on Meredith.

209
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:02,209
But I'm the only one with the balls
to show them lice who's boss.

210
00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:05,686
Okay, nobody panic!

211
00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:07,410
If everybody just follows
my instructions,

212
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:09,250
then nobody else
needs to end up bald.

213
00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:13,401
Not that it looks bad, Meredith!
It looks... It looks awesome!

214
00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:16,566
You look like a baby who
suddenly aged 50 years.

215
00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:18,210
A cute baby!

216
00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:20,288
But something sucked
the life force out of it.

217
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:22,522
I'm so sorry. We need mayonnaise.
We need it now.

218
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:26,241
I'll go.
It's not a big deal.

219
00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:28,243
Please. No, Meredith,
can I get you

220
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,249
something special
while I'm at the store?

221
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:33,403
Candy, or one of
those stylish turbans?

222
00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:36,802
Thanks, Pam. I'll take a pack of
Nicorette gum and a pack of Kools.

223
00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:38,286
Okay-

224
00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:43,369
Let's talk pubes, people.

225
00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:45,845
Hey, Darryl.

226
00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:47,126
Hey, Val.

227
00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:54,006
That was tragic.

228
00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:57,804
That was like a car crash,
I couldn't look away.

229
00:09:57,880 --> 00:10:00,486
You two still clearly have
feelings for each other.

230
00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:01,561
Yeah.

231
00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:03,608
What's going to make you
feel better, big guy?

232
00:10:03,680 --> 00:10:06,889
When I was a kid, my grandmother
used to make me chocolate cake

233
00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:08,405
when I wasn't feeling good.

234
00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:10,369
She's not around
to do that anymore.

235
00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:14,684
I'm sorry, I just need a moment
to myself to clear my head.

236
00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:19,805
Poor Darryl. I can't bear to
see him suffer like this.

237
00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:23,202
I think he needs
some hugs

238
00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:25,328
and maybe some
chocolate cake.

239
00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:29,482
This won't help him,
it's a muffin. Not cake.

240
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:31,921
Listen, let's try to get Darryl
the one thing in the world

241
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,446
he clearly wants
and needs the most.

242
00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:35,931
An Escalade.

243
00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:38,169
Or, what's-her-name?

244
00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:40,121
Val.

245
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:42,009
Let's get Darryl Val.

246
00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:45,049
I hope you don't mind me
bringing you out here.

247
00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:46,844
I can't get my knees
under a desk.

248
00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:49,446
Are you kidding me? I could
literally scalp tickets to this.

249
00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:51,204
Well, you think you
can sink one from deep?

250
00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:54,406
Listen, I don't
mean to intimidate you,

251
00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:56,448
but I did play
a little high school ball.

252
00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:57,726
Okay-

253
00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:01,481
Wow!

254
00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:03,762
Halpert's got game!

255
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:05,080
All right. Sorry.

256
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:08,451
I'm so sorry, this is my wife.
Can I take this?

257
00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:10,409
If it's your wife,
you better take it.

258
00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:11,561
Right?

259
00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:16,246
Hey, what's up?
Everything okay?

260
00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:17,890
Oh, no,
everything's great!

261
00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:20,641
I was just calling to see
how the meeting went.

262
00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:23,121
It's still happening
right now, actually. So...

263
00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,282
He's really making
you work for it, huh?

264
00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:29,490
Yes, it is very stressful. Are
you sure everything's okay?

265
00:11:29,560 --> 00:11:31,927
Great. Lam killing it
over here.

266
00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:36,689
Jim, I've got to go.
Okay, bye.

267
00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:38,487
So sorry about that.

268
00:11:38,560 --> 00:11:40,722
No problem. Hey, Jim, what
size do you wear, man?

269
00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:43,605
I got a pair of Japanese Nikes
with your name on them.

270
00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:45,490
What do you think?
I love it!

271
00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:49,326
Once it's all over your head, just
leave it there for four hours.

272
00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:52,449
That will be enough time
for the lice to fall asleep,

273
00:11:52,560 --> 00:11:54,324
suffocate and then
pass away.

274
00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:56,201
Sure.

275
00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:59,090
And when you're
ready to get serious,

276
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:02,010
come to me to
get it done right.

277
00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:04,321
Put those away
before you hurt yourself.

278
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:09,728
Oh, God! No.

279
00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:13,291
No! No!

280
00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:17,083
No! No! No!

281
00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:20,562
No! No!

282
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:23,644
Okay, it's easier with a
buddy, so everybody pair up.

283
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:26,361
Oscar, you want
to be my partner?

284
00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:29,167
Yeah. Yeah, sure.
I love to.

285
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:34,204
Hey, mayo buddy, $5 tip if
you unclog my ears. Okay?

286
00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:35,647
Oh...

287
00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:39,202
Creed, I'm so sorry. I'm already
partners with Pete. Right, Pete?

288
00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:43,041
Uh... Yeah. We promised each other
if we ever got lice, we'd buddy up,

289
00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:44,565
so, sorry, man.

290
00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:50,125
Hey, Creed. You want
to be my buddy?

291
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:52,807
Oh, God.
Stuck with the weirdo.

292
00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:02,529
Angela! You don't
want bugs, you know?

293
00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:05,888
Who knows where
those bugs will end up?

294
00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:09,000
You're getting a bargain.
I ain't got no hair no more.

295
00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:12,571
Creed.

296
00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:15,924
I'm all done. My turn.

297
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,765
I'm sorry, Pam.
It looks a little messy.

298
00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:20,807
Wait.

299
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:25,561
How's that?

300
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:26,886
I feel it working.

301
00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:32,486
Eiffel Tower!

302
00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:37,681
Can I help you?

303
00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:41,731
Well, we don't want to pry, but we
heard you broke up with Darryl.

304
00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:43,040
Yeah, that's true.

305
00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:44,963
We think you made
a big, big mistake.

306
00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:46,041
Big mistake.

307
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:47,201
Quite enormous.

308
00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:50,443
He's a real catch and you
should take him back.

309
00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:53,285
Okay, thank you.
Is that all?

310
00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:55,647
No. No, that is not all!

311
00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:57,927
Let me tell you
what real life is like.

312
00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:00,282
The men dry up
and the nights get lonely.

313
00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:03,250
The only calls on your machine
are from collection agencies

314
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,971
about that pair of motorcycle
boots you've never even worn.

315
00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:08,850
You stalk your old high-school
boyfriend online,

316
00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:11,605
go to his daughter's soccer
games and make a scene.

317
00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:13,921
You buy a diamond ring
for yourself,

318
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:17,368
wear it on your right hand and
tell yourself you're all you need.

319
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:22,731
One day you're alone, tired,
at your feet, a dying bird.

320
00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:25,561
Where did it come from?
Why did you kill it?

321
00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:29,645
Is it because, in some
strange way, it is you?

322
00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:32,007
Thank you all
for your concern,

323
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:34,401
but I'm going to have to
ask you toleave, okay?

324
00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:41,971
So does this mean you're
going to take Darryl back?

325
00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:43,041
No.

326
00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:47,250
Well, then, what would you say
to you and me hitting the town,

327
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:52,323
because I'm free
literally forever.

328
00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:54,326
Yeah, Kevin asked me out.

329
00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:57,688
I was kind of feeling good about
re-entering the dating pool,

330
00:14:57,760 --> 00:14:59,410
and then Kevin
asked me out.

331
00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:01,926
Thought I might trade up
to a new level of man.

332
00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:03,970
Then Kevin asked me out.

333
00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:17,121
Hello?

334
00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:18,201
Hi, honey, it's Mom.

335
00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:21,841
Look, Gene's school just called.
She still has lice!

336
00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:23,729
What, no. That can't...
I don't...

337
00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:26,041
Don't worry, don't worry,
I'm on my way to pick her up.

338
00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:29,920
But you might have lice, too. Lice
can be tricky. Sometimes lice...

339
00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:32,445
Oh, my God.

340
00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:37,328
Shave her head!

341
00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:43,129
You guys, I'm so sorry.

342
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:45,202
It's just been so chaotic
with Jim gone that I...

343
00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:46,964
Yeah, yeah.
Princess Fancy Pants,

344
00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:49,930
letting Jane Twelve Pack
over here take the fall.

345
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,206
She's right, Pam.

346
00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:53,567
ls there a volume knob
on that thing?

347
00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:55,847
Yes, there's a volume knob
on that thing!

348
00:15:57,680 --> 00:16:01,401
Meredith,
I am so sorry.

349
00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:04,563
Well, a lot of good your sorries
are doing her now, Pam.

350
00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:06,210
She's a monster.

351
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,521
I meant to say something
earlier, I just...

352
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:12,204
Just, just what?

353
00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:14,566
Just forgot?

354
00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:18,090
Who's the one that didn't
bring lice into the office?

355
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:19,770
Meredith.

356
00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:21,569
Sure I gave everybody
pink eye once,

357
00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:23,444
and my ex keyed
a few of their cars.

358
00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:26,842
And yeah, I BM'ed in the
shredder on New Year's.

359
00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:31,448
But I didn't bring the lice in.
That was all Pam.

360
00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:34,041
Attention,
people of the office.

361
00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:38,205
You have exactly 60 seconds
to evacuate the bullpen.

362
00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:39,486
At that time

363
00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:44,286
I will be tossing this
powerful insecticidal grenade,

364
00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:48,285
which contains piperonyl
butoxide, as well as...

365
00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:52,005
Dwight? Are you okay?

366
00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:56,321
Whoa...

367
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:59,048
That butoxide has a mild
hallucinogenic effect,

368
00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:00,724
but I don't think
it's kicked in yet.

369
00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:02,530
I'm going to
count down from 10.

370
00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:05,725
Nine, yellow,

371
00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:10,406
cold, sad, purple...

372
00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:14,880
Wow. He got to purple.

373
00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:17,801
Ow!

374
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:19,849
Sorry.

375
00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:24,450
You're waterboarding me!

376
00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:25,601
Oops.

377
00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:38,291
No, this is fine.
We're allowed to do this.

378
00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:40,770
This is okay.

379
00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:46,001
Okay, you're up!

380
00:17:46,120 --> 00:17:48,521
Yeah, I'm actually kind of
sad to see this baby go.

381
00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:51,366
You do kind of
look like Elvis.

382
00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:53,602
But we should probably wash
all the dead lice out.

383
00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:01,009
Okay. Okay

384
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,127
Okay-

385
00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:07,481
Is that too cold?

386
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:09,887
No, actually,
it feels kind of nice.

387
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:22,883
I wonder what
happened over there.

388
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,968
I've been sitting
here the whole time.

389
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:32,964
Oka.
Huh?

390
00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:35,361
Let's give it a shot.
Let's make it work.

391
00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:37,761
Oh, no. I mean,
I want to, I just,

392
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,771
I don't want to force you into doing
something you don't want to do.

393
00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:44,242
You're not.
I believe in us.

394
00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:51,000
I'm back together
with Val.

395
00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:53,765
Yay.

396
00:18:58,360 --> 00:19:00,442
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

397
00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:01,851
Had a pretty
good day today.

398
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,367
Not everything went exactly
according to plan.

399
00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:11,250
But lice, if you're watching, I'm
ready for you anytime, anywhere.

400
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:19,526
Hey, Erin
already take off?

401
00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:21,445
I guess so.

402
00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:24,086
Okay-

403
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:28,970
And you're Kareem,
coming to help.

404
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:30,525
Okay, I'm Kareem.

405
00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:32,449
That makes total sense.
I'm Kareem, you're Dr. J.

406
00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:34,005
Just sounds weird
to say out loud.

407
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:35,764
And it went
like this.

408
00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:40,845
And that's all.
That's it.

409
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:43,326
No one will believe this back home,
but that's okay.

410
00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:44,646
That's all right. Let me
show you how to do it.

411
00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:46,085
Yeah, you show
me how to do it.

412
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:47,765
This is Jim Halpert,
leave a message.

413
00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:51,002
Hey, honey. It's me,

414
00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:53,600
just trying to catch you
before going home.

415
00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:54,721
Um...

416
00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:57,403
Well. Just give
me a call whenever.

417
00:19:57,480 --> 00:19:59,403
Hope your day got
better. Love you.

418
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,561
Hey. What are you
doing right now?

419
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:06,525
I'm just going
to go home.

420
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:09,251
My mom's been watching
the kids all day.

421
00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:11,891
Let her stay another hour.
Let's go get a beer.

422
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:15,521
Really? A beer sounds
incredible right now.

423
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:18,285
No duh. Let's go,
you're buying.

424
00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:23,524
Meredith, I am so
sorry about today.

425
00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:25,011
Forget about it.

426
00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:26,809
I just did not
realize how hard

427
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:28,684
it was going to
be without Jim.

428
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:33,008
I mean, I really respect you for
being a single morn all these years.

429
00:20:33,120 --> 00:20:34,929
It whipped my ass
in half a week.

430
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:37,445
I have to say, there are
not a lot of people

431
00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:39,050
who could pull
off a shaved head,

432
00:20:39,120 --> 00:20:40,281
but you are rocking it.

433
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:41,601
Right?

434
00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:44,281
I got the bartender's phone
number when you were in the john.

435
00:20:44,360 --> 00:20:47,921
I'm going to take that freak to
bone-town before the night is over.

436
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:50,010
Get it, girl.

437
00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:58,124
This one is for all
you ladies out there!

438
00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:02,124
I come...
Not yet.

439
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,490
I come home
in the morning light

440
00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:12,202
My mother says, "When you going
to live your life right?"

441
00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:15,683
Oh, Mother dear,
we're not the fortunate ones

442
00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:19,329
And girls,
they want to have fun

443
00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:23,485
Oh, girls just
want to have fun

444
00:21:24,425 --> 00:21:34,425
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