1 00:00:01,150 --> 00:00:02,834 No. You lied to me, Andy! 2 00:00:02,910 --> 00:00:05,038 You pretended to be in this office for three months, 3 00:00:05,110 --> 00:00:06,999 and you were sailing on your boat! 4 00:00:07,070 --> 00:00:08,674 I resent that. 5 00:00:08,750 --> 00:00:10,593 I never lied to you. 6 00:00:10,990 --> 00:00:15,518 Really? "Hey, David. All is good in Scranton, PA." 7 00:00:15,750 --> 00:00:18,151 And all was good in Scranton, PA, that day. 8 00:00:18,270 --> 00:00:19,760 "By the way, Oscar says hi." 9 00:00:19,830 --> 00:00:22,276 Oscar says hi all the time. 10 00:00:22,630 --> 00:00:25,554 He says all kinds of greetings... Hi, hello, hola. 11 00:00:26,510 --> 00:00:28,160 You're telling me you've never heard Oscar say hi? 12 00:00:28,230 --> 00:00:29,959 Andy... You're calling me a liar? 13 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,441 Andy... By the way, that reminds me. 14 00:00:31,510 --> 00:00:33,877 I want to ask you about some of the lies you've been telling me lately. 15 00:00:33,950 --> 00:00:34,951 Watch it, Andy. 16 00:00:35,030 --> 00:00:37,271 Oh, here we go. January 7, 2013. 17 00:00:37,630 --> 00:00:39,234 "Hey, Andy, all's well. Been meaning 18 00:00:39,350 --> 00:00:40,954 "to make it down there, but my wife's sick." 19 00:00:41,150 --> 00:00:42,311 Well, which is it? 20 00:00:42,750 --> 00:00:44,240 Is all well, or is your wife sick? 21 00:00:44,430 --> 00:00:45,920 Busted! My wife? 22 00:00:48,430 --> 00:00:50,398 This has been a really tough time. Yeah? 23 00:00:50,510 --> 00:00:51,557 Yeah. Has it? 24 00:00:51,630 --> 00:00:52,756 Erin just dumped me, 25 00:00:52,830 --> 00:00:55,993 and I can't remember any of the "aha" moments I had on the boat, 26 00:00:56,430 --> 00:00:59,434 and I know it sounds weird to say, but I really miss my beard. 27 00:01:00,030 --> 00:01:01,031 Shh. It was like a security blanket. 28 00:01:01,110 --> 00:01:02,760 Andy... Shh. 29 00:01:05,990 --> 00:01:07,674 I'm not gonna fire you. 30 00:01:09,670 --> 00:01:10,717 You're not? 31 00:01:11,230 --> 00:01:12,914 No. That's awesome. 32 00:01:12,990 --> 00:01:14,640 I wouldn't own the company if it wasn't for you. 33 00:01:14,710 --> 00:01:17,475 So I owe you that. 34 00:01:17,990 --> 00:01:20,152 David, I'll be there for you. 35 00:01:21,190 --> 00:01:23,113 These five words I swear to you. 36 00:01:23,230 --> 00:01:25,915 When you breathe, I want to be the air for you. 37 00:01:26,030 --> 00:01:27,680 I'll be there for you. 38 00:01:28,110 --> 00:01:30,112 That's a poem by JB Jovi. 39 00:01:30,510 --> 00:01:32,592 I want you to have it. 40 00:01:32,710 --> 00:01:34,838 We are even now. Understand? 41 00:01:35,950 --> 00:01:36,951 Got it? Crystal. 42 00:01:37,030 --> 00:01:38,600 And you are on very... 43 00:01:38,670 --> 00:01:40,991 Hey. Very thin ice. 44 00:01:41,710 --> 00:01:42,996 Vanilla. 45 00:01:46,710 --> 00:01:48,360 Vanilla Ice. He was a band. 46 00:01:50,150 --> 00:01:56,224 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 47 00:02:25,830 --> 00:02:27,594 Good morning. Good morning. 48 00:02:27,670 --> 00:02:29,240 And how are you on this fine... 49 00:02:52,390 --> 00:02:53,630 Okay. 50 00:02:54,550 --> 00:02:55,756 We ready? 51 00:02:55,950 --> 00:02:57,236 Don't use that part. 52 00:02:58,910 --> 00:03:03,996 Last week, Erin told me that our relationship will be proceeding without me. 53 00:03:06,110 --> 00:03:08,477 Now I have to see her every day at work, 54 00:03:08,550 --> 00:03:10,951 which is brutal. 55 00:03:13,190 --> 00:03:15,158 When people say office relationships are a good idea, 56 00:03:15,230 --> 00:03:18,439 they never talk about what might happen if you break up. 57 00:03:26,710 --> 00:03:28,439 He sounds like a wounded animal. 58 00:03:29,030 --> 00:03:31,920 Should have put him out of his misery and just fired him. 59 00:03:31,990 --> 00:03:34,800 I can't be around sad people. It makes me sad. 60 00:03:35,110 --> 00:03:37,033 I'm the same way with horny people. 61 00:03:37,470 --> 00:03:38,471 Okay- 62 00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:45,354 Yes, Pete and I have started seeing each other, 63 00:03:45,430 --> 00:03:46,955 and Andy still doesn't know. 64 00:03:47,430 --> 00:03:50,593 We thought that keeping it secret was more considerate to him. 65 00:03:53,270 --> 00:03:55,159 And hot for us. 66 00:03:56,030 --> 00:03:57,156 I mean, I saw Pete's butt. 67 00:03:58,670 --> 00:03:59,671 It's sick. 68 00:04:03,950 --> 00:04:05,156 Oh. That's mine. 69 00:04:06,310 --> 00:04:07,675 I'll just... I'll get it out of the way for you. 70 00:04:07,790 --> 00:04:10,191 Jim set up a job interview for me today in Philly. 71 00:04:10,710 --> 00:04:14,635 It's with a real estate company, which is a great fit for me, 72 00:04:14,710 --> 00:04:19,477 because I live in a house and I know what a bathroom is. 73 00:04:20,070 --> 00:04:23,552 I'm sorry. I am just very nervous, 74 00:04:24,590 --> 00:04:26,718 because, honestly, this is all moving a lot faster 75 00:04:26,790 --> 00:04:31,318 than I expected, and because my resume can fit on a Post-it note. 76 00:04:33,590 --> 00:04:36,116 No, don't just let her eat the grass. She'll puke it right up. 77 00:04:36,830 --> 00:04:40,312 Okay, just put out two bowls and see which feed she prefers. 78 00:04:41,190 --> 00:04:44,114 I'm sorry to be taking up so much of your precious time, Mose, 79 00:04:44,190 --> 00:04:45,874 but she's your aunt, too. 80 00:04:46,430 --> 00:04:47,841 Fine. I'll see what I can do. 81 00:04:54,110 --> 00:04:55,111 I need you. 82 00:04:55,230 --> 00:04:56,231 Dwight. 83 00:04:56,310 --> 00:04:57,641 And you should take breaks more often. 84 00:04:57,750 --> 00:04:59,081 I've been waiting there for 45 minutes. 85 00:04:59,150 --> 00:05:00,959 What? What is it? 86 00:05:01,030 --> 00:05:03,874 It's my Aunt Shirley. She's on her last legs. 87 00:05:04,990 --> 00:05:06,560 Dwight, that's awful. You have no idea. 88 00:05:06,630 --> 00:05:10,316 I mean, her hair, her clothes, it's all falling off 89 00:05:10,390 --> 00:05:12,233 in great, big clumps. 90 00:05:12,710 --> 00:05:14,951 And we need someone to go out there and clean her up. 91 00:05:15,030 --> 00:05:17,112 We had a nurse, but she quit, because 92 00:05:17,230 --> 00:05:19,278 she was "poisoned" by Aunt Shirley. 93 00:05:19,590 --> 00:05:21,240 What do you mean by "poisoned"? 94 00:05:21,510 --> 00:05:23,638 Probably nothing. Or strychnine. 95 00:05:24,310 --> 00:05:27,359 Or lemonade and strychnine, which is actually what it was. 96 00:05:27,430 --> 00:05:28,841 Okay, well, I'm very sorry about your aunt. 97 00:05:28,950 --> 00:05:30,315 Thank you. 98 00:05:30,390 --> 00:05:32,392 But I don't see how this is my problem. 99 00:05:32,470 --> 00:05:34,950 Angela, you owe me one. Remember? 100 00:05:35,390 --> 00:05:36,630 Now, please. 101 00:05:36,710 --> 00:05:39,839 She's an old woman, Angela. She needs a woman's touch. 102 00:05:39,910 --> 00:05:41,560 It's all hanging out. 103 00:05:41,630 --> 00:05:43,837 And there's parts of her I don't even recognize. 104 00:05:44,030 --> 00:05:46,476 There's this one hanging part in particular 105 00:05:46,750 --> 00:05:49,196 that's some sort of flap. 106 00:05:49,350 --> 00:05:50,431 It's fine. 107 00:05:50,510 --> 00:05:51,591 It's like a prehensile wing or something. 108 00:05:51,670 --> 00:05:52,717 I don't know. 109 00:05:52,790 --> 00:05:53,837 Oh, God. All right. 110 00:05:53,950 --> 00:05:55,156 I can't... Okay. 111 00:05:55,430 --> 00:05:56,716 I'll help you. 112 00:05:56,830 --> 00:05:58,161 There's a divot where it was, 113 00:05:58,230 --> 00:06:00,358 and it needs... Uh! 114 00:06:04,910 --> 00:06:05,911 Where are you going? 115 00:06:06,430 --> 00:06:08,239 Noton a three-month boat trip. 116 00:06:09,430 --> 00:06:11,319 Oh, burn. 117 00:06:12,430 --> 00:06:15,274 Uh, excuse me, what, everyone can just leave whenever they want now? 118 00:06:15,350 --> 00:06:16,351 How dare you? 119 00:06:18,110 --> 00:06:19,111 I'm still the boss. 120 00:06:38,030 --> 00:06:39,395 Hi. The answer is yes. 121 00:06:39,470 --> 00:06:40,631 I have some messages for you. 122 00:06:41,110 --> 00:06:42,271 Are they from you? 123 00:06:42,390 --> 00:06:43,551 Well, no, they're from clients. 124 00:06:43,790 --> 00:06:45,474 Well, then, I don't want them. 125 00:06:45,990 --> 00:06:46,991 You can keep them. 126 00:06:47,150 --> 00:06:51,235 In fact you can keep that big, blue Nautica sweater. 127 00:06:51,310 --> 00:06:52,641 I know how much you love it... I can't. 128 00:06:52,830 --> 00:06:55,754 No, I insist upon it. It's an awesome sweater. 129 00:06:55,870 --> 00:06:57,918 Some great memories tied up in that thing. 130 00:06:57,990 --> 00:07:00,231 These are messages from clients who want to buy paper. 131 00:07:00,310 --> 00:07:02,153 I don't want to talk about work right now. 132 00:07:02,230 --> 00:07:04,278 Well, I only want to talk about work right now. 133 00:07:04,350 --> 00:07:06,079 Then I want my big blue sweater back. 134 00:07:06,150 --> 00:07:08,198 Well, I gave it to the Salvation Army. 135 00:07:14,830 --> 00:07:15,956 I've got this seat adjusted just right. 136 00:07:16,030 --> 00:07:17,191 Perfect. Yeah. 137 00:07:20,030 --> 00:07:21,395 She got rid of it. 138 00:07:21,790 --> 00:07:23,076 My blue sweater. 139 00:07:23,190 --> 00:07:24,999 What is that about? 140 00:07:25,670 --> 00:07:27,513 I was just leaving. Stay. 141 00:07:28,350 --> 00:07:30,034 We are in the brozone layer. 142 00:07:30,270 --> 00:07:32,398 Okay, Nard Dog, Plop and Clarker Posey, 143 00:07:32,630 --> 00:07:33,916 aka Clarkwork Orange. 144 00:07:34,070 --> 00:07:37,517 Here's the sitch. Erin dumped me, natch, 145 00:07:38,590 --> 00:07:41,196 but she got rid of my blue sweater, which was her favorite. 146 00:07:41,910 --> 00:07:46,757 Is she moving on a little fast, or am I being a total psycho? 147 00:07:47,830 --> 00:07:48,956 Plop, you go first. 148 00:07:49,830 --> 00:07:52,993 I don't know. Women do tend to move on quicker than men. 149 00:07:54,430 --> 00:07:56,034 Survey says... 150 00:07:56,550 --> 00:07:58,552 Doesn't make me feel better at all. 151 00:07:59,550 --> 00:08:01,154 Zero Clark Thirty, what do you got? 152 00:08:01,670 --> 00:08:03,672 Well, look at it this way. Being a bachelor is not all bad. 153 00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:05,240 I mean, you got your freedom now. 154 00:08:07,310 --> 00:08:09,074 Last night I ordered a pizza by myself, 155 00:08:09,190 --> 00:08:10,919 and I ate it over the sink like a rat. 156 00:08:11,350 --> 00:08:12,351 There you go. Good for you. 157 00:08:12,430 --> 00:08:13,431 No. 158 00:08:14,670 --> 00:08:16,752 You're just letting it all hang out. That's what... 159 00:08:18,150 --> 00:08:19,959 it may not seem like it, but this really helped. 160 00:08:20,190 --> 00:08:21,919 - So thank you. - Cool. 161 00:08:26,390 --> 00:08:28,916 I'll give you $100 to wear that sweater to work tomorrow. 162 00:08:37,910 --> 00:08:40,754 Aunt Shirley, hello, it's me, Dwight. 163 00:08:40,910 --> 00:08:43,072 Oh, looky here. It's big city Dwight. 164 00:08:43,510 --> 00:08:45,114 Careful you don't get mud on those 165 00:08:45,230 --> 00:08:46,800 fancy town shoes, big city Dwight. 166 00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:48,316 Hello, Aunt Shirley. 167 00:08:48,430 --> 00:08:49,670 Who's this little kitchen witch? 168 00:08:49,910 --> 00:08:52,038 She's so tiny, like a little kitchen witch. 169 00:08:52,110 --> 00:08:55,637 This is Angela, and we brought you some new clothes. 170 00:08:55,710 --> 00:08:57,075 New clothes? What for? 171 00:08:57,150 --> 00:08:59,039 Dear God. Okay. Oh, my God. 172 00:08:59,110 --> 00:09:03,240 You know what, before you put the new clothes on, 173 00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:05,711 Angela's gonna get you cleaned up a little bit. 174 00:09:06,190 --> 00:09:10,752 Yes. How would you like a nice, warm bath? 175 00:09:11,030 --> 00:09:13,397 How would you like a mean, cold slap? Ow! 176 00:09:13,990 --> 00:09:15,719 Okay, Aunt Shirley, dear, 177 00:09:15,790 --> 00:09:19,556 can I get you a nice crisp liter of schnapps? 178 00:09:19,870 --> 00:09:21,713 I could do that. Okay. 179 00:09:21,790 --> 00:09:22,996 No. No. Yeah, trust me. 180 00:09:23,070 --> 00:09:24,356 No. It keeps her docile. 181 00:09:24,790 --> 00:09:27,441 Go to the kitchen, get the largest receptacle you can find. 182 00:09:29,630 --> 00:09:30,995 Step on it. 183 00:09:31,630 --> 00:09:33,200 Why doesn't Erin seem sad? 184 00:09:35,310 --> 00:09:37,438 Has she found someone new or something? 185 00:09:38,070 --> 00:09:39,959 And, if so, why hasn't she told me? 186 00:09:40,470 --> 00:09:42,279 Is she trying to spare my feelings? 187 00:09:44,190 --> 00:09:47,831 During breakups, the mind goes to some crazy dark places. 188 00:09:59,070 --> 00:10:00,276 Andy, don't. 189 00:10:00,870 --> 00:10:02,679 No good can come from snooping. 190 00:10:02,750 --> 00:10:05,401 I'm not snooping. There's just some crud on her screen. 191 00:10:05,510 --> 00:10:07,592 - You're clearly snooping. - That's kind of uncool, man. 192 00:10:07,670 --> 00:10:09,513 Oh, come on. That's her private property. 193 00:10:10,430 --> 00:10:11,511 Hello? 194 00:10:11,990 --> 00:10:13,515 Who's snooping on who now? 195 00:10:14,390 --> 00:10:15,721 What does that even mean? 196 00:10:15,830 --> 00:10:17,195 Everyone, just please... 197 00:10:17,270 --> 00:10:18,396 Put it down. 198 00:10:18,470 --> 00:10:19,915 Come on, Andy. Put it down. 199 00:10:19,990 --> 00:10:21,321 That's her private property. 200 00:10:22,270 --> 00:10:23,476 Oh, my God. 201 00:10:23,870 --> 00:10:24,837 See? 202 00:10:24,910 --> 00:10:25,911 That's what nosy'll get you. 203 00:10:25,990 --> 00:10:26,991 Told you so. 204 00:10:29,470 --> 00:10:32,201 Darryl, Clark, Kevin, Toby, Plop, take a knee. 205 00:10:33,470 --> 00:10:36,360 All right, you guys are gonna think I'm psycho again. 206 00:10:37,590 --> 00:10:38,671 Couldn't shake this feeling 207 00:10:38,750 --> 00:10:41,151 that Erin's dating someone, so I looked at her phone. 208 00:10:41,550 --> 00:10:42,711 Man, you can't do that stuff. 209 00:10:43,030 --> 00:10:44,395 You'll only find pain. 210 00:10:44,830 --> 00:10:47,515 When my ex-wife got into my e-mail account, she was devastated. 211 00:10:47,710 --> 00:10:48,916 Too late. 212 00:10:49,350 --> 00:10:51,512 I found out she's been texting a guy named Pete. 213 00:10:52,790 --> 00:10:54,394 Does anybody know a Pete? 214 00:10:57,670 --> 00:10:59,434 Pete. Hmm. 215 00:10:59,510 --> 00:11:00,591 Pete what? 216 00:11:01,070 --> 00:11:02,560 It just occurred to me that Andy 217 00:11:02,670 --> 00:11:04,195 has been calling me Plop for so long 218 00:11:04,270 --> 00:11:05,874 he forgot my real name. 219 00:11:06,590 --> 00:11:07,921 Which is Pete. 220 00:11:34,950 --> 00:11:36,236 Hello. 221 00:11:36,350 --> 00:11:37,590 Hey. There she is. 222 00:11:39,430 --> 00:11:40,670 How you doing? Hi. 223 00:11:41,430 --> 00:11:42,955 Hey, do I look okay? You look great. 224 00:11:43,030 --> 00:11:44,156 Okay. Yeah. 225 00:11:45,110 --> 00:11:46,350 What's that? Is that a... 226 00:11:46,430 --> 00:11:49,673 Okay, I know where you're going with this, and this is who I am now. 227 00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:51,957 I'm a douche. But look what I can do with my hands. 228 00:11:52,950 --> 00:11:55,396 Gotta go. VIP just walked through the door. 229 00:11:55,510 --> 00:11:57,717 How are you, Isaac? You have something in your ear. 230 00:11:57,790 --> 00:11:58,791 It's a phone. 231 00:11:59,790 --> 00:12:01,554 Yes, it is, and thank you so much 232 00:12:01,670 --> 00:12:03,434 for setting up this opportunity. 233 00:12:03,510 --> 00:12:04,591 I really appreciate it. 234 00:12:04,670 --> 00:12:06,320 Of course. Anything for team Halpert. 235 00:12:06,390 --> 00:12:07,516 You're gonna crush it, Pam. 236 00:12:07,630 --> 00:12:08,711 Thanks. 237 00:12:08,790 --> 00:12:09,837 You are gonna crush it. 238 00:12:10,990 --> 00:12:12,276 Wow, I missed you. 239 00:12:12,350 --> 00:12:14,717 Wait, are you saying that into the phone or are you saying that to me? 240 00:12:14,790 --> 00:12:16,360 Call you right back. What were you saying? 241 00:12:16,430 --> 00:12:17,431 Ha ha. 242 00:12:18,150 --> 00:12:19,481 Hey, Jim. 243 00:12:19,550 --> 00:12:21,314 We got Trent Edwards on the line. 244 00:12:21,550 --> 00:12:22,551 I'll gotta go. 245 00:12:22,630 --> 00:12:25,156 But, you know what, team Halpert, okay? 246 00:12:25,310 --> 00:12:27,551 You're gonna crush it. You're gonna smash it. 247 00:12:27,670 --> 00:12:29,798 Okay. Good luck. 248 00:12:29,870 --> 00:12:30,871 Bye. 249 00:12:31,670 --> 00:12:33,434 God, she drank so much. 250 00:12:33,510 --> 00:12:34,841 And so quickly. 251 00:12:36,270 --> 00:12:38,511 In her prime, Shirls could put away homemade schnapps 252 00:12:38,590 --> 00:12:40,080 morning, noon and night. 253 00:12:44,190 --> 00:12:45,999 Now all it takes is half a liter. 254 00:12:46,790 --> 00:12:48,599 She's dreaming. All right. 255 00:12:48,670 --> 00:12:51,071 Let's get her out to the yard so you can spray her down. 256 00:12:51,190 --> 00:12:52,760 Spray her down? No. 257 00:12:52,830 --> 00:12:54,639 It's a lot better than it sounds. 258 00:12:54,830 --> 00:12:59,996 There's a private shower area, very tasteful and very rustic. 259 00:13:03,390 --> 00:13:04,471 Hey- 260 00:13:04,590 --> 00:13:05,671 Come on in. Have a seat. 261 00:13:09,190 --> 00:13:12,911 Thanks for coming in. I just got to get something off my chest. 262 00:13:13,350 --> 00:13:16,911 I just got some really weird news, 263 00:13:16,990 --> 00:13:19,721 and I'm just gonna come out and say it. 264 00:13:20,070 --> 00:13:22,118 I just got off the phone with my doctor, 265 00:13:22,830 --> 00:13:28,041 and turns out I contracted chlamydia from Erin. 266 00:13:29,110 --> 00:13:30,350 And it's incurable. 267 00:13:31,030 --> 00:13:32,031 Pretty lame, huh? 268 00:13:33,870 --> 00:13:34,871 Yeah. 269 00:13:46,710 --> 00:13:47,711 You were gone... 270 00:13:47,830 --> 00:13:48,831 I knew it! 271 00:13:48,910 --> 00:13:50,071 for a long time, Andy. 272 00:13:50,150 --> 00:13:51,390 You and Erin are... 273 00:13:51,510 --> 00:13:53,558 Fu... 274 00:13:53,670 --> 00:13:56,833 Andy, just so you know, there was no overlap. 275 00:13:57,150 --> 00:14:00,154 No overlap? Great. Good. Wow. 276 00:14:00,430 --> 00:14:01,841 This is suddenly so easy. 277 00:14:01,990 --> 00:14:03,151 Guess what? You're fired. 278 00:14:03,230 --> 00:14:04,311 What? 279 00:14:04,430 --> 00:14:07,240 Yeah. You are fired. 280 00:14:07,870 --> 00:14:09,679 One of the perks of being boss. 281 00:14:09,790 --> 00:14:11,633 I can fire anyone who steals my girlfriend. 282 00:14:11,910 --> 00:14:14,277 And, wow, that turns out to be you. 283 00:14:14,430 --> 00:14:15,431 Yup, sorry. 284 00:14:15,630 --> 00:14:16,677 So you had a bad day 285 00:14:17,830 --> 00:14:18,831 The camera don't lie 286 00:14:18,910 --> 00:14:19,911 Andy. I'm trying to... 287 00:14:19,990 --> 00:14:22,516 You're a big idiot Get out of my office 288 00:14:23,670 --> 00:14:26,640 Turns out you're fired because you suck 289 00:14:26,710 --> 00:14:28,280 And you're fired 290 00:14:28,350 --> 00:14:31,001 If you want to talk to me, I'll be in the annex, all right? 291 00:14:32,110 --> 00:14:33,555 I'm gonna be in the annex. 292 00:14:34,430 --> 00:14:35,431 Toby. 293 00:14:36,110 --> 00:14:37,521 Toby. 294 00:14:38,150 --> 00:14:41,074 You can't fire Pete. You understand why, right? 295 00:14:42,510 --> 00:14:43,511 No. 296 00:14:44,030 --> 00:14:45,953 Andy, we had this exact same conversation 297 00:14:46,110 --> 00:14:48,078 when you wanted to get rid of Nellie. 298 00:14:48,190 --> 00:14:51,956 You can't just get rid of people over grudges. 299 00:14:52,270 --> 00:14:53,954 Nellie was a professional grudge. 300 00:14:54,030 --> 00:14:55,714 This is a purely personal grudge. 301 00:14:57,470 --> 00:14:59,552 All right, well, look, while I have you, 302 00:14:59,630 --> 00:15:03,555 this is a relationship disclosure form for Pete and Erin. 303 00:15:05,270 --> 00:15:06,840 They already have a contract? 304 00:15:11,590 --> 00:15:13,479 "Mutually agree to..." 305 00:15:14,110 --> 00:15:16,716 Every phrase is like a dagger in my crotch. 306 00:15:17,470 --> 00:15:19,313 It's just boilerplate. You don't have to read it. 307 00:15:19,390 --> 00:15:20,755 Well, I'm not signing away my rights. 308 00:15:21,110 --> 00:15:23,841 I already signed it. I was just showing you. 309 00:15:24,950 --> 00:15:27,237 Okay, well, we'll see about that. 310 00:15:27,310 --> 00:15:28,800 Andy, that's not the original. 311 00:15:29,830 --> 00:15:32,834 And destroying it will not stop them from dating. 312 00:15:45,550 --> 00:15:47,359 It's the original. 313 00:15:49,470 --> 00:15:51,950 If they're talking Chester Avenue 314 00:15:52,030 --> 00:15:53,316 Talking triplex 315 00:15:53,390 --> 00:15:55,279 Talking converting... 316 00:15:55,350 --> 00:15:57,193 Is that her? Hey, guys. 317 00:15:57,830 --> 00:15:58,911 Say something. I said... Hello. 318 00:15:58,990 --> 00:16:00,037 Hi, I'm Mark. 319 00:16:00,150 --> 00:16:01,197 Hi. Pam. Hello. 320 00:16:01,270 --> 00:16:03,671 I'm the horrible boss around here, 321 00:16:03,790 --> 00:16:06,191 but please don't hire Jamie Foxx to kill me. 322 00:16:06,630 --> 00:16:08,632 Django! 323 00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:13,240 I don't agree with the use of the N word in that movie. 324 00:16:13,350 --> 00:16:14,476 It's too soon. 325 00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:16,954 I'm Pam Halpert. Oh. Hi. 326 00:16:17,030 --> 00:16:18,600 They call me Marky Mark around here, 327 00:16:18,670 --> 00:16:23,153 because here at Simon Realty, we are one funky bunch. 328 00:16:23,430 --> 00:16:26,400 Come on, you guys. Raise the roof when I say that. 329 00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:28,959 What are you, all temps again today? 330 00:16:30,670 --> 00:16:32,593 Let's go, Gangnam-style. 331 00:16:32,910 --> 00:16:34,594 He's heard Gangnam Style. He knows it. 332 00:16:34,830 --> 00:16:37,117 Right? That's 'cause he's American. 333 00:16:37,270 --> 00:16:38,556 This is Carl. Hi. 334 00:16:39,310 --> 00:16:43,474 He's from here. He's from our neck of the woods. 335 00:16:43,990 --> 00:16:46,072 But Gangnam Style is great, isn't it? 336 00:16:47,350 --> 00:16:50,320 Oh, my God. He's Michael Scott. 337 00:16:55,550 --> 00:16:56,631 Time to get clean. 338 00:16:56,750 --> 00:16:57,876 It's hosing time, Aunt Shirley. 339 00:16:57,950 --> 00:16:59,998 Have a seat. You're gonna have a hard time 340 00:17:00,070 --> 00:17:01,879 hearing her over the roar of the hose. 341 00:17:01,950 --> 00:17:03,440 We have to do chains? Oh, you'll see. 342 00:17:03,750 --> 00:17:05,320 Here we go. Get this show on the road. 343 00:17:05,390 --> 00:17:06,915 Let's do it. Ready? 344 00:17:07,470 --> 00:17:09,279 Here's a box cutter to get her clothes off. 345 00:17:09,790 --> 00:17:10,791 Dwight! Let's get to it. 346 00:17:11,110 --> 00:17:12,271 Give it a whirl. No. No. 347 00:17:12,430 --> 00:17:15,718 Dwight, I'm not gonna hose your aunt down like some animal. 348 00:17:15,830 --> 00:17:17,673 Stop your bellyaching and hose me. 349 00:17:17,790 --> 00:17:19,076 I need you to hose my aunt. 350 00:17:19,150 --> 00:17:20,151 No, Dwight. Okay, you are useless. 351 00:17:20,230 --> 00:17:21,277 No, no. Give me the hose. 352 00:17:21,350 --> 00:17:22,351 Dwight, I won't do it. 353 00:17:33,790 --> 00:17:38,352 I'm gonna give your aunt a proper bath and a haircut like a lady. 354 00:17:38,590 --> 00:17:40,592 And you two are gonna shut up about it. 355 00:17:40,750 --> 00:17:41,990 Do you have a bathtub? 356 00:17:42,110 --> 00:17:43,600 Yes, ma'am. Good. 357 00:17:44,310 --> 00:17:45,755 This is not so much an office 358 00:17:45,830 --> 00:17:49,471 as it is a rec room with a bunch of computers in it. 359 00:17:49,550 --> 00:17:51,712 And, frankly, if I had my way, 360 00:17:51,790 --> 00:17:54,396 I'd toss the computers in the garbage, 361 00:17:54,470 --> 00:17:58,680 but unfortunately we use them for practically everything we do, so... 362 00:17:59,550 --> 00:18:00,790 That ain't gonna happen. 363 00:18:01,310 --> 00:18:02,516 He's a temp. Don't worry about him. 364 00:18:02,870 --> 00:18:03,871 Alice! 365 00:18:04,670 --> 00:18:06,160 All right. Stay awake, okay? 366 00:18:09,710 --> 00:18:11,121 Hey, Nellie. 367 00:18:13,390 --> 00:18:15,313 I am so sick of February. 368 00:18:16,710 --> 00:18:19,361 It's the shortest month, but it sure doesn't feel that way. 369 00:18:20,590 --> 00:18:21,591 We should catch up. 370 00:18:23,830 --> 00:18:25,753 You know, I've been going over my notes from the trial. 371 00:18:25,830 --> 00:18:27,070 Oh, no, Toby, no. No, no, no. 372 00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:29,636 I feel like I might have glossed over a few minor points. 373 00:18:30,350 --> 00:18:34,321 No, Toby, you cannot keep blathering on about this Scranton Strangler. 374 00:18:34,390 --> 00:18:37,155 Do something about it. Get it out of your system, whatever it takes. 375 00:18:37,350 --> 00:18:38,556 I've been drafting a letter. 376 00:18:38,670 --> 00:18:39,910 For two years! 377 00:18:39,990 --> 00:18:41,833 Then what? Another year picking out a stamp? 378 00:18:41,910 --> 00:18:44,390 Another six months before you decide to lick it? Just... 379 00:18:44,870 --> 00:18:47,555 I don't want to hear it. 380 00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:49,791 My Aunt Joan. 381 00:18:49,870 --> 00:18:53,352 Oh, well, she worked here before I did, 382 00:18:53,430 --> 00:18:55,558 so there's no nepotism involved. In fact, 383 00:18:56,270 --> 00:18:58,318 to be honest with you, I'm probably a little harder on her 384 00:18:58,430 --> 00:19:00,194 than I am on the rest of these people. 385 00:19:02,150 --> 00:19:03,800 Can you not work on this? 386 00:19:03,870 --> 00:19:06,635 Work on this month's. Okay, Nana? 387 00:19:08,870 --> 00:19:14,081 When I say, "Chillax," people chillax. Watch this. 388 00:19:14,190 --> 00:19:15,555 Hey, Roger, chillax. 389 00:19:18,350 --> 00:19:19,920 He must not have heard me. 390 00:19:20,350 --> 00:19:22,273 No. I heard you. 391 00:19:23,230 --> 00:19:27,030 Step this way for the Spanish Inquisition. 392 00:19:27,990 --> 00:19:29,037 Kids in the Hall. 393 00:19:29,950 --> 00:19:32,237 Uh, just... It's not high pressure. 394 00:19:32,390 --> 00:19:34,392 It's just a little coffee talk. 395 00:19:35,030 --> 00:19:36,600 Okay? Like butter. 396 00:19:36,670 --> 00:19:38,513 Come on in here. Mike Myers. 397 00:19:38,590 --> 00:19:39,921 Oh, my God. 398 00:19:48,470 --> 00:19:49,471 Thank you. 399 00:19:50,510 --> 00:19:52,478 Thanks. Thanks a lot. Really appreciate it. 400 00:19:52,550 --> 00:19:54,951 You guys were supposed to have my back, okay? 401 00:19:55,070 --> 00:19:58,279 Instead, you let a guy named Plop steal my girlfriend. 402 00:19:58,470 --> 00:20:00,199 Hey, boss, I did everything I could. 403 00:20:00,470 --> 00:20:03,360 I invited Pete out for drinks. I e-mailed him shots of my junk. 404 00:20:03,430 --> 00:20:04,477 Ugh! 405 00:20:04,550 --> 00:20:06,359 Kid doesn't have a romantic bone in his body. 406 00:20:06,430 --> 00:20:07,920 Come on, Andy. They're a good match. 407 00:20:07,990 --> 00:20:09,515 That doesn't matter, okay? 408 00:20:09,590 --> 00:20:12,434 What matters is that I am hurt. 409 00:20:13,470 --> 00:20:15,950 Deep hurt inside of me. 410 00:20:16,710 --> 00:20:19,111 I don't care if they're Romeo and freaking Juliet. 411 00:20:19,270 --> 00:20:22,479 I feel like the guy that Juliet dated before Romeo. 412 00:20:23,030 --> 00:20:24,520 Probably her boss. 413 00:20:25,070 --> 00:20:27,960 And guess what? Juliet's boss also had feelings. 414 00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:29,357 Hey, Andy. 415 00:20:29,470 --> 00:20:30,517 What? 416 00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:33,636 You got a booger bubble going on there. 417 00:20:35,830 --> 00:20:36,831 Sorry. 418 00:20:38,550 --> 00:20:39,551 It's okay. 419 00:20:39,990 --> 00:20:42,118 My whole life is a booger bubble. 420 00:20:48,510 --> 00:20:50,638 This is a tiny resume. 421 00:20:52,470 --> 00:20:53,710 Papa Smurf. 422 00:20:54,110 --> 00:20:56,920 Come back to the mushroom. 423 00:20:57,390 --> 00:20:58,391 It's from The Smurfs movie. 424 00:20:58,510 --> 00:20:59,511 Yeah. 425 00:20:59,590 --> 00:21:02,241 I've seen that with my kids. It is tiny. 426 00:21:02,630 --> 00:21:04,553 But I've actually been commissioned 427 00:21:04,670 --> 00:21:06,638 by the city of Scranton to paint a mural... 428 00:21:06,710 --> 00:21:07,950 What does this say here? 429 00:21:10,830 --> 00:21:11,991 What language is this? 430 00:21:12,110 --> 00:21:13,919 Swahili? Oh, wait a second. 431 00:21:14,190 --> 00:21:15,430 Now I can read it. 432 00:21:15,550 --> 00:21:16,836 Oh. 'Cause it was upside-down. 433 00:21:18,270 --> 00:21:19,681 You're a good audience. 434 00:21:21,030 --> 00:21:22,031 So, uh... 435 00:21:22,110 --> 00:21:23,157 Unlike some of these people around here. 436 00:21:23,230 --> 00:21:25,995 Yeah. The city commissioned me to do... 437 00:21:26,070 --> 00:21:28,960 Yeah, we don't have a lot of call for doodling around here. 438 00:21:29,350 --> 00:21:32,194 But I like this resume, and here's why. 439 00:21:32,710 --> 00:21:34,838 It shows that you stick around. 440 00:21:36,830 --> 00:21:40,960 Yeah, you don't jump ship easily like a lot of these people. 441 00:21:42,590 --> 00:21:47,756 I mean, they worship me, you know, but do they like me? 442 00:21:49,750 --> 00:21:53,550 I mean, do you think they like me, Pam? 443 00:21:57,190 --> 00:21:58,555 Yes. 444 00:21:59,070 --> 00:22:01,391 What if Bob Dylan was your boss? 445 00:22:01,910 --> 00:22:03,639 I'm gonna do Dylan. 446 00:22:07,110 --> 00:22:08,953 Pam Halpert is my name 447 00:22:09,110 --> 00:22:11,681 I've been at Dunder Mifflin for... 448 00:22:13,030 --> 00:22:14,361 Seven years? Eight years. 449 00:22:14,550 --> 00:22:16,359 Eight years, man 450 00:22:16,750 --> 00:22:18,878 Got the Dunder Mifflin blues 451 00:22:18,950 --> 00:22:20,793 Got the Pam Halpert blues 452 00:22:20,870 --> 00:22:23,111 Got Pratt... Went to Pratt Institute 453 00:22:23,190 --> 00:22:24,316 You have children? 454 00:22:24,470 --> 00:22:25,631 Two children, yes. 455 00:22:25,710 --> 00:22:27,519 And you do art and painting? 456 00:22:28,150 --> 00:22:29,151 Kind of the same thing. 457 00:22:29,230 --> 00:22:30,800 Kind of the same thing 458 00:22:30,870 --> 00:22:33,077 Sometimes I repeat myself 459 00:22:33,150 --> 00:22:35,596 But that's just being Pam 460 00:22:37,590 --> 00:22:39,513 Well, I'm kind of cute 461 00:22:39,590 --> 00:22:42,878 And I'm... But I'm married, so... 462 00:22:44,310 --> 00:22:45,675 Leave that be 463 00:22:46,470 --> 00:22:49,041 Hey. You got a sec to talk? 464 00:22:50,350 --> 00:22:51,681 Kind of painful to chat with you, Pete, 465 00:22:51,790 --> 00:22:54,441 ever since the ol' one-two punch to my scrotum pole, 466 00:22:54,510 --> 00:22:57,719 translation, penis, translation, my manhood. 467 00:22:58,270 --> 00:22:59,920 Yeah, look... 468 00:23:01,830 --> 00:23:03,275 I understand breakups are tough. 469 00:23:03,870 --> 00:23:06,794 You know, it happens to all of us at some point in life. 470 00:23:07,990 --> 00:23:09,754 But you gotta move on. 471 00:23:12,790 --> 00:23:14,360 Great advice. 472 00:23:14,910 --> 00:23:16,639 Thank you. You can leave now. 473 00:23:16,790 --> 00:23:17,951 Listen to him, Andy. 474 00:23:18,030 --> 00:23:20,397 He's trying to tell you something that you really need to hear. 475 00:23:22,310 --> 00:23:24,916 Awesome perspective. Thanks for butting in. 476 00:23:25,190 --> 00:23:27,352 Well, I've been where you are now. 477 00:23:27,990 --> 00:23:31,199 I dated this girl Alice, and it was an ugly breakup. 478 00:23:31,350 --> 00:23:34,160 She worked at a marketing agency right next to my house. 479 00:23:34,390 --> 00:23:37,075 I'd run into her every day, but I had to grow up and deal with it, 480 00:23:37,150 --> 00:23:38,481 and I did. 481 00:23:39,350 --> 00:23:40,431 We're even Facebook friends now. 482 00:23:40,550 --> 00:23:41,676 See? 483 00:23:41,830 --> 00:23:42,991 We can all be friends. 484 00:23:43,110 --> 00:23:44,236 Yeah. 485 00:23:44,310 --> 00:23:46,119 Just get over it. It doesn't have to be awkward. 486 00:23:46,470 --> 00:23:48,438 I do think we can have a fair... 487 00:23:48,510 --> 00:23:50,877 Yeah, so life gives you lemons, 488 00:23:50,990 --> 00:23:53,436 you just gotta eat 'em, rinds and all. 489 00:23:53,750 --> 00:23:55,559 And, if you don't want to eat 'em, your ex-girlfriend 490 00:23:55,630 --> 00:23:56,961 will shove them down your throat 491 00:23:57,070 --> 00:23:58,481 with the help of her hunky new boyfriend. 492 00:23:59,230 --> 00:24:00,800 So that's fun. 493 00:24:02,790 --> 00:24:04,758 Nothing to see here. 494 00:24:05,070 --> 00:24:06,515 Boss at work. 495 00:24:07,310 --> 00:24:09,677 This will be your desk, right up front. 496 00:24:09,750 --> 00:24:11,434 Best seat on the roller coaster. 497 00:24:11,510 --> 00:24:14,320 You must be this tall to ride this ride. 498 00:24:15,070 --> 00:24:17,391 No pregnant women allowed. 499 00:24:17,710 --> 00:24:20,520 Are you? I'm not allowed to ask, so... 500 00:24:20,910 --> 00:24:22,275 I am not... You're not pregnant. 501 00:24:22,350 --> 00:24:24,876 I didn't ask her if she was pregnant. 502 00:24:25,070 --> 00:24:26,196 She just offered it. 503 00:24:26,270 --> 00:24:29,592 The last three girls here all got pregnant. 504 00:24:29,670 --> 00:24:30,796 Wow. 505 00:24:30,910 --> 00:24:32,071 Don't be afraid. 506 00:24:32,150 --> 00:24:33,561 It's a different chair. 507 00:24:34,230 --> 00:24:35,880 I don't want a guy up here. 508 00:24:36,190 --> 00:24:40,320 I want to, you know, see a woman come in and do a great job. 509 00:24:40,790 --> 00:24:42,758 Something I have to look out this window... 510 00:24:42,830 --> 00:24:44,320 I'm sorry, I thought this job was 511 00:24:44,430 --> 00:24:45,875 for the position of office manager. 512 00:24:46,510 --> 00:24:47,875 It is. Yeah. 513 00:24:47,990 --> 00:24:49,833 You'd manage this office. 514 00:24:49,950 --> 00:24:52,635 You'd answer the phones and forward the calls, 515 00:24:52,710 --> 00:24:55,236 and, you know, go for a coffee run now and again. 516 00:24:55,590 --> 00:24:57,319 So kind of like a receptionist. 517 00:24:58,390 --> 00:24:59,835 Yeah. Like a receptionist, 518 00:24:59,910 --> 00:25:05,758 but we call you the office manager, because it's less demeaning. 519 00:25:07,750 --> 00:25:12,597 By the way, how long are these cameras gonna be following you around? 520 00:25:12,830 --> 00:25:16,596 Because I think this is pretty cool. 521 00:25:18,390 --> 00:25:20,154 Pretty, pretty cool. 522 00:25:20,270 --> 00:25:22,034 Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiasm. 523 00:25:22,110 --> 00:25:23,760 Do you like that show? Yes. 524 00:25:23,830 --> 00:25:27,152 Well, I think they indulge themselves a little too much. 525 00:25:29,550 --> 00:25:30,551 I like scripted. 526 00:25:31,230 --> 00:25:34,439 I spent 10 years as a receptionist to Michael Scott. 527 00:25:35,150 --> 00:25:36,720 And I have kids now. 528 00:25:39,110 --> 00:25:42,432 And I just... I can't. 529 00:25:45,710 --> 00:25:46,711 Ow! 530 00:25:46,790 --> 00:25:48,394 The braid is too tight. 531 00:25:48,750 --> 00:25:49,751 Oh, hush. 532 00:25:50,350 --> 00:25:52,591 Loose braids reflect a loose character. 533 00:25:53,110 --> 00:25:54,475 Now stay still. 534 00:25:55,270 --> 00:25:56,271 Yes, ma'am. 535 00:25:57,510 --> 00:26:00,639 I think your hair is much too long for your age, by the way. 536 00:26:01,670 --> 00:26:03,320 Okay. There. 537 00:26:06,390 --> 00:26:07,391 Thank you, Angela. 538 00:26:09,590 --> 00:26:11,592 I'm going to the prison this afternoon 539 00:26:11,710 --> 00:26:13,758 to go and talk to the Strangler. 540 00:26:14,790 --> 00:26:17,475 Probably best to use his real name rather than Strangler. 541 00:26:17,830 --> 00:26:20,037 Don't use his real name. 542 00:26:20,990 --> 00:26:22,640 George Howard Skub? 543 00:26:23,630 --> 00:26:24,836 That's a devil name. 544 00:26:25,230 --> 00:26:28,313 Anyway, I just wanted to say I'm doing it. I'm going. 545 00:26:31,150 --> 00:26:32,561 He's doing it. 546 00:26:38,470 --> 00:26:39,960 Hey. Hey, how'd the interview go? 547 00:26:40,030 --> 00:26:41,634 Oh, my gosh. Wait until I tell you. 548 00:26:41,710 --> 00:26:44,441 This guy was unbelievable. 549 00:26:44,830 --> 00:26:45,797 Okay, so... 550 00:26:45,870 --> 00:26:46,871 I can't wait to hear about it later. 551 00:26:46,950 --> 00:26:48,395 Do you want to come in at 8:00? 552 00:26:48,550 --> 00:26:50,439 And don't eat, because I'm ordering in. 553 00:26:50,510 --> 00:26:51,716 8:00? Really? 554 00:26:52,030 --> 00:26:54,078 I'll make it worth your while, I promise. 555 00:26:54,590 --> 00:26:57,912 Sure. I mean, it's Philly. I can kill four hours. 556 00:26:57,990 --> 00:26:59,754 So, yeah, I'll see you at 8:00. 557 00:26:59,870 --> 00:27:01,713 All right. Love you. Love you. 558 00:27:08,550 --> 00:27:09,597 Hi. Hi. 559 00:27:09,670 --> 00:27:12,992 I'm here from B.C.l. Marketing Consultants to meet with Andrew Bernard. 560 00:27:13,070 --> 00:27:14,799 Oh, yes, the consultant. 561 00:27:15,110 --> 00:27:16,350 Andy said you can start right away. 562 00:27:16,510 --> 00:27:18,080 So I will take you to your desk. 563 00:27:18,150 --> 00:27:19,834 Okay, great. Thanks. 564 00:27:21,390 --> 00:27:23,313 Fresh meat. Fresh meat! 565 00:27:24,270 --> 00:27:27,194 Just keep walking. Don't give her anything. She'll take it and run. 566 00:27:27,270 --> 00:27:28,840 I'm Erin, by the way. Nice to meet you. 567 00:27:28,990 --> 00:27:30,435 Cute sweater. Oh, thanks. 568 00:27:30,670 --> 00:27:32,718 Your shoes match. I'm bad at small talk. 569 00:27:32,830 --> 00:27:33,831 I'm Kevin. 570 00:27:38,550 --> 00:27:39,551 Pete? 571 00:27:40,590 --> 00:27:41,591 Alice. 572 00:27:43,670 --> 00:27:44,751 Oh, man. 573 00:27:44,910 --> 00:27:45,991 It's, uh, been awhile, huh? 574 00:27:46,230 --> 00:27:47,755 Oh, do you two know each other? 575 00:27:47,910 --> 00:27:49,400 Yeah. We, uh, have a history. 576 00:27:49,550 --> 00:27:50,551 Oh. 577 00:27:50,950 --> 00:27:52,395 History. Wow. Okay. 578 00:27:52,830 --> 00:27:54,355 We dated for two years. 579 00:27:55,230 --> 00:27:56,311 That's so random. 580 00:27:56,550 --> 00:27:58,120 Well, is it? 581 00:28:00,030 --> 00:28:02,795 Andy also hired a management consultant today. 582 00:28:05,550 --> 00:28:06,597 Oh, no. 583 00:28:14,110 --> 00:28:16,477 Hey, Erin, look who's back. The Birdman. 584 00:28:17,270 --> 00:28:18,317 Hello, beautiful. 585 00:28:19,750 --> 00:28:21,400 Didn't you two used to do it? 586 00:28:22,430 --> 00:28:25,161 We absolutely did. Thank you for remembering that. 587 00:28:27,670 --> 00:28:29,001 She's looking good. 588 00:28:33,910 --> 00:28:37,881 Hi. I'm Toby Flenderson. I'm here to see George Howard Skub. 589 00:28:38,390 --> 00:28:39,676 This is the prison. 590 00:28:40,510 --> 00:28:45,721 I am not going in there with expectations, per se. 591 00:28:46,150 --> 00:28:48,596 I will meet George Howard Skub. 592 00:28:48,830 --> 00:28:51,640 I will tell him that I believe he is innocent. 593 00:28:52,190 --> 00:28:55,319 I would understand if he felt motivated to hug me. 594 00:28:56,150 --> 00:28:58,198 I would understand if a friendship began. 595 00:28:58,550 --> 00:29:00,473 How did Bogart put it? 596 00:29:00,710 --> 00:29:03,998 I think this is the start of my first friendship. 597 00:29:06,150 --> 00:29:07,834 So Pete was a librarian? 598 00:29:08,910 --> 00:29:11,197 He worked as a librarian freshman year. 599 00:29:11,670 --> 00:29:12,831 Was he, like, the sexy librarian? 600 00:29:12,990 --> 00:29:14,151 Okay- 601 00:29:14,230 --> 00:29:16,631 ls there somebody who's in charge of marketing? 602 00:29:16,710 --> 00:29:18,314 Maybe I should sit near him or her. 603 00:29:20,830 --> 00:29:22,195 - Hi. - Hi. 604 00:29:22,270 --> 00:29:23,556 Hi, how's it going? 605 00:29:23,630 --> 00:29:25,394 Hi. Good. 606 00:29:25,670 --> 00:29:28,594 Pdloveto discuss strategy with you if you have a marketing... 607 00:29:28,670 --> 00:29:30,001 Wow, this sure is intense. 608 00:29:31,350 --> 00:29:35,275 Having to share a workspace with someone you used to get it on with. 609 00:29:35,390 --> 00:29:37,631 Andy, that is really inappropriate. 610 00:29:37,870 --> 00:29:39,838 Awkward! It is awkward. 611 00:29:40,430 --> 00:29:43,320 This is a really uncomfortable situation that you've contrived. 612 00:29:43,790 --> 00:29:46,441 Really uncomfortable situation. 613 00:29:46,590 --> 00:29:48,433 Yeah. This... 614 00:29:49,230 --> 00:29:51,073 That's all right, Pete. You can handle it. 615 00:29:51,270 --> 00:29:53,193 I mean, we all just gotta move on. 616 00:29:53,270 --> 00:29:55,113 Ain't that right, Professor Lecture-much? 617 00:29:56,950 --> 00:29:58,793 Uh, question. How's that medicine taste? 618 00:29:59,550 --> 00:30:00,915 Your own-flavored? 619 00:30:02,030 --> 00:30:04,601 Is it just me, or have these tables turned? 620 00:30:07,190 --> 00:30:08,191 Hmm. 621 00:30:09,790 --> 00:30:10,791 Hmm. 622 00:30:15,470 --> 00:30:16,995 So there's no marketing department? 623 00:30:17,430 --> 00:30:18,920 No. No. 624 00:30:19,590 --> 00:30:20,955 You know, times were tough. 625 00:30:21,070 --> 00:30:23,516 I was unemployed. I was still heartbroken over you. 626 00:30:24,030 --> 00:30:25,600 I've lost a good 50 pounds. 627 00:30:25,750 --> 00:30:28,356 But as you can see I put all that weight right back on. 628 00:30:29,910 --> 00:30:31,400 Feel how fat my buttocks are. 629 00:30:32,150 --> 00:30:33,914 Yeah. It's crazy. 630 00:30:34,110 --> 00:30:35,714 Touch it. It's like a warm pumpkin. 631 00:30:35,990 --> 00:30:37,116 So Andyjust called you up out of the blue? 632 00:30:37,230 --> 00:30:38,391 Yeah. 633 00:30:39,750 --> 00:30:41,115 He told me you two broke up. 634 00:30:41,190 --> 00:30:42,191 Yeah. 635 00:30:42,670 --> 00:30:43,910 You must be pretty horny. 636 00:30:48,990 --> 00:30:51,152 Well, the good news is, no more guilty conscience. 637 00:30:51,590 --> 00:30:53,558 At least you know he is the Strangler. 638 00:30:53,910 --> 00:30:55,435 The proof is in the grip. 639 00:30:56,070 --> 00:30:58,277 Did they say when the vocal cords would heal? 640 00:31:01,630 --> 00:31:02,870 One week? 641 00:31:04,430 --> 00:31:06,239 Okay. Two weeks? 642 00:31:08,390 --> 00:31:09,721 Okay- 643 00:31:10,950 --> 00:31:12,714 You offered your neck in search of the truth. 644 00:31:14,390 --> 00:31:16,870 "The proud neck of justice," isn't that the expression? 645 00:31:16,950 --> 00:31:20,238 Well, anyway, itwas... it was very brave. 646 00:31:24,070 --> 00:31:26,118 It really was quite brave. 647 00:31:30,430 --> 00:31:32,080 I feel like a show pony. 648 00:31:32,230 --> 00:31:34,119 And you look like one, too. Thank you, Angela. 649 00:31:34,550 --> 00:31:36,598 You're welcome. Would you like some stew? 650 00:31:36,670 --> 00:31:39,594 By all means. And I will carve the roast skunk. 651 00:31:41,750 --> 00:31:43,639 Angela. 652 00:31:44,870 --> 00:31:46,235 Would you like the stink sack? 653 00:31:46,590 --> 00:31:48,274 Is it any good? No. 654 00:31:48,350 --> 00:31:50,193 You don't eat it. It's a toy, like a wishbone. 655 00:31:50,270 --> 00:31:52,272 You know, prettiest girl gets the stink sack. 656 00:31:52,470 --> 00:31:53,835 Thank you. 657 00:31:54,110 --> 00:31:56,477 So when's the wedding? 658 00:31:59,590 --> 00:32:02,480 Um, actually, we are just friends. 659 00:32:02,990 --> 00:32:05,231 That's what Mose said about his lady scarecrow, 660 00:32:05,310 --> 00:32:07,358 and look what he did to that poor thing. 661 00:32:08,670 --> 00:32:09,671 Hello? 662 00:32:09,990 --> 00:32:11,196 Hey. Back here. 663 00:32:14,830 --> 00:32:17,151 Wow. Seriously? 664 00:32:18,030 --> 00:32:20,032 Oh, my gosh. Is that champagne? 665 00:32:20,230 --> 00:32:21,231 Si, señor. 666 00:32:22,190 --> 00:32:23,191 Oh. 667 00:32:23,630 --> 00:32:26,076 Jim, I should have told you I didn't get the job. 668 00:32:26,510 --> 00:32:29,195 Oh, man. I'm so sorry. Are you all right? 669 00:32:29,270 --> 00:32:32,114 Oh. Yeah. I'm more than all right. There's just nothing to celebrate. 670 00:32:32,510 --> 00:32:35,354 Are you kidding? You're in Philly. We're having dinner together. 671 00:32:35,590 --> 00:32:37,638 And this is just consolation champagne. 672 00:32:37,830 --> 00:32:40,561 It's from the part of France that immediately gave up to the Nazis. 673 00:32:40,830 --> 00:32:41,797 Here. 674 00:32:41,870 --> 00:32:43,395 You're very quick on your feet. 675 00:32:43,950 --> 00:32:46,271 I remember you. Funny. 676 00:32:47,390 --> 00:32:49,154 All right. So... 677 00:32:49,950 --> 00:32:50,951 Tell me all about it. 678 00:32:53,710 --> 00:32:58,511 Okay. Well, gosh, thank you for your help today. 679 00:32:59,470 --> 00:33:03,191 Your perspective was very useful. Thank you. 680 00:33:03,670 --> 00:33:06,071 It was not an unpleasant way to spend an afternoon. 681 00:33:18,550 --> 00:33:20,200 Dwight, Dwight. Right. 682 00:33:20,550 --> 00:33:21,995 Not outside. The horseflies. 683 00:33:22,670 --> 00:33:24,911 You know what, my farm is only a few acres east of here. 684 00:33:25,070 --> 00:33:27,641 Or we could use the slaughterhouse. 685 00:33:28,670 --> 00:33:30,399 No, Dwight, the Senator. 686 00:33:31,150 --> 00:33:33,551 Leave him. He probably won't even notice that you're gone. 687 00:33:34,910 --> 00:33:36,150 Be with me, monkey. 688 00:33:37,070 --> 00:33:39,437 I can't be your monkey, Dwight. 689 00:33:40,310 --> 00:33:44,031 I'm not talking about some frisky romp in the warehouse. 690 00:33:44,390 --> 00:33:46,836 We have wasted too much of our lives ignoring the fact 691 00:33:46,910 --> 00:33:48,799 that we belong together. 692 00:33:50,670 --> 00:33:53,116 The 80 or 90 years that I have left of this life 693 00:33:54,790 --> 00:33:56,394 I want to spend with you. 694 00:33:58,990 --> 00:34:02,039 I made a vow. I gave my word. 695 00:34:03,590 --> 00:34:05,638 Stand by your man. 696 00:34:10,270 --> 00:34:12,352 It's what I would want if you were mine. 697 00:34:14,110 --> 00:34:15,111 Good night, D. 698 00:34:22,150 --> 00:34:24,312 How are you doing? Is it really rough? 699 00:34:24,630 --> 00:34:26,314 It is so unpleasant. 700 00:34:26,790 --> 00:34:28,440 You? Hey, love turds. 701 00:34:29,110 --> 00:34:30,521 Conference room now. 702 00:34:34,230 --> 00:34:37,712 Thank you all for coming in. Just wanted to check in. 703 00:34:37,790 --> 00:34:39,155 How was everyone's day? 704 00:34:41,990 --> 00:34:44,231 Honestly, it was a little weird. 705 00:34:44,830 --> 00:34:46,036 Really? 706 00:34:47,430 --> 00:34:50,115 Hmm. That's interesting, because Erin and Pete 707 00:34:50,230 --> 00:34:52,961 thought it wouldn't be weird at all. 708 00:34:53,510 --> 00:34:55,239 Why do you think it was weird, Gabe? 709 00:34:55,310 --> 00:34:57,677 Maybe because you and Erin used to be an item? 710 00:34:58,750 --> 00:35:01,799 I still wear Erin's button-downs around the condo sometimes, 711 00:35:01,870 --> 00:35:04,521 so it feels to me like we're still in a relationship... 712 00:35:04,590 --> 00:35:06,001 Gabe. a lot of the time. 713 00:35:08,350 --> 00:35:12,719 And, Alice, I understand you once dumped Pete. Ouch. 714 00:35:13,030 --> 00:35:14,953 It was an amicable breakup, Andy. 715 00:35:15,310 --> 00:35:17,153 Okay, while we're rewriting history, 716 00:35:17,270 --> 00:35:19,159 you never had a drinking problem. 717 00:35:19,350 --> 00:35:21,717 It was college. That is what you do. 718 00:35:22,270 --> 00:35:24,511 Dude, you're also supposed to go to classes, so there's that. 719 00:35:24,590 --> 00:35:26,911 Hey, Andy, is this at all work-related? 720 00:35:27,230 --> 00:35:31,155 We'll get to that. Gabe, did Erin ever tell you that she loves you? 721 00:35:31,670 --> 00:35:34,355 Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. 722 00:35:35,550 --> 00:35:36,836 She wouldn't even let me say it. 723 00:35:36,910 --> 00:35:39,481 It was adorable. She'd plug her ears and scream her heart out. 724 00:35:39,550 --> 00:35:40,790 Gabe, can you stop talking? 725 00:35:40,870 --> 00:35:42,599 Because every word out of your mouth 726 00:35:42,710 --> 00:35:44,439 is like the squawk of an ugly pelican. 727 00:35:45,150 --> 00:35:46,640 I got a tattoo for you. 728 00:35:47,030 --> 00:35:49,078 I didn't ask you to get that Nike swoosh. 729 00:35:49,190 --> 00:35:50,760 Nobody did. You did that for you. 730 00:35:50,910 --> 00:35:52,241 Just do it. 731 00:35:53,190 --> 00:35:55,238 You were the "it" that I was just doing. 732 00:35:55,510 --> 00:35:57,274 So you're dating a secretary now? 733 00:35:57,550 --> 00:35:59,075 Moving up in the world, Pete. 734 00:35:59,510 --> 00:36:00,716 She's nice to me. 735 00:36:01,070 --> 00:36:02,959 How's that P.E. degree coming? 736 00:36:03,150 --> 00:36:04,151 That's what he wanted to be. 737 00:36:04,230 --> 00:36:05,834 His dream in college was to be a gym teacher. 738 00:36:05,910 --> 00:36:08,151 Well, guess what, he could still be a gym teacher. 739 00:36:08,230 --> 00:36:09,675 In fact, we could all still be gym teachers. 740 00:36:09,750 --> 00:36:11,559 So let's... I technically cannot. 741 00:36:11,670 --> 00:36:13,911 I don't have the lung capacity to blow a whistle. 742 00:36:13,990 --> 00:36:15,321 Oh, my God. 743 00:36:17,750 --> 00:36:19,354 What kind of music are you into, Peter? 744 00:36:19,550 --> 00:36:20,551 Uh... 745 00:36:20,870 --> 00:36:22,474 I like all kinds of music, Gabe. 746 00:36:22,550 --> 00:36:24,234 Really? All kinds? 747 00:36:24,550 --> 00:36:26,075 So you like songs of hate written 748 00:36:26,270 --> 00:36:27,760 by the white knights of the Ku Klux Klan? 749 00:36:27,870 --> 00:36:29,315 No! Erin, are you even hearing this? 750 00:36:29,390 --> 00:36:30,551 Gabe, he didn't even say that. 751 00:36:30,630 --> 00:36:31,711 He's not a very sophisticated man. 752 00:36:32,030 --> 00:36:33,600 I mean, he can't use chopsticks, 753 00:36:33,750 --> 00:36:35,320 so do I need to say anything else? 754 00:36:35,590 --> 00:36:38,355 Erin, I've been to Japan. 755 00:36:38,430 --> 00:36:40,751 I know how to use chopsticks so well. 756 00:36:41,590 --> 00:36:42,591 Come back. 757 00:36:43,070 --> 00:36:44,231 One night. Give me one night with you. 758 00:36:44,350 --> 00:36:45,511 What is that supposed to be? 759 00:36:45,590 --> 00:36:47,513 I have shaved everything. I don't want you to shave... 760 00:36:47,590 --> 00:36:50,161 I wasted two years of my life on you. You realize that, right? 761 00:36:50,230 --> 00:36:53,359 I just want to be real clear that chopsticks is not the measure of a man. 762 00:36:53,430 --> 00:36:55,751 I am as smooth as a porpoise for you. 763 00:36:55,830 --> 00:36:56,956 Why didn't you say at the beginning, 764 00:36:57,110 --> 00:36:58,236 "This isn't really going that well"? 765 00:36:58,310 --> 00:37:01,154 Shovel his sashimi into his mouth as a sport. 766 00:37:01,350 --> 00:37:04,718 All right, all right, yes, that is a legitimate question. 767 00:37:04,950 --> 00:37:07,954 Does making Erin and Pete feel bad make me feel better? 768 00:37:10,270 --> 00:37:12,272 Yeah. Yeah. 769 00:37:12,790 --> 00:37:13,916 It does. 770 00:37:14,710 --> 00:37:16,872 So imagine, like, the real estate version 771 00:37:17,030 --> 00:37:19,192 of Michael Scott, and that was this guy. 772 00:37:19,470 --> 00:37:21,757 He did half the interview as Ace Ventura. 773 00:37:21,950 --> 00:37:23,315 Tell me about the cologne. How much? 774 00:37:23,790 --> 00:37:25,713 Oh, entire bottle at least. 775 00:37:25,830 --> 00:37:27,241 You're definitely hoarding this, by the way. 776 00:37:27,310 --> 00:37:30,200 Guess what poster he had on his wall? 777 00:37:31,350 --> 00:37:32,875 Austin Powers. Mmm-mmm. 778 00:37:32,950 --> 00:37:34,190 Ferris Bueller. Mmm-mmm. 779 00:37:34,670 --> 00:37:35,956 You're getting colder. 780 00:37:36,150 --> 00:37:37,754 Not Night at the Roxbury. No. 781 00:37:39,910 --> 00:37:41,912 The Odd Life of Timothy Green. 782 00:37:43,150 --> 00:37:45,756 I'm sorry. How did you think I was expected to guess that? 783 00:37:45,830 --> 00:37:46,956 I don't know. But it's interesting, right? 784 00:37:47,070 --> 00:37:48,196 It's fascinating. 785 00:37:48,310 --> 00:37:50,438 He said he can't help but tear up 786 00:37:50,510 --> 00:37:52,080 when he looks at it, and it's right next to his desk. 787 00:37:52,190 --> 00:37:54,192 He must look at it, like, 20 times a day. 788 00:37:54,550 --> 00:37:55,836 That's amazing. 789 00:37:56,030 --> 00:37:58,112 Well, listen, you can't win 'em all, right? 790 00:37:58,310 --> 00:38:00,312 So the next interview has to be better. 791 00:38:02,550 --> 00:38:03,631 I don't know. 792 00:38:03,750 --> 00:38:04,831 What do you mean? 793 00:38:05,510 --> 00:38:07,433 Of course it will. You're amazing. 794 00:38:08,910 --> 00:38:12,232 I know. It's just, even if it was a great boss and a great job, 795 00:38:12,310 --> 00:38:14,358 I just... I don't... I don't know if I... 796 00:38:14,430 --> 00:38:17,752 If I want to... I don't know if I want this. 797 00:38:24,030 --> 00:38:25,031 Huh. 798 00:38:29,950 --> 00:38:31,600 This is a little out of left field. 799 00:38:32,230 --> 00:38:33,231 Is it? 800 00:38:39,790 --> 00:38:42,077 I just... I liked our life in Scranton. 801 00:38:45,550 --> 00:38:48,997 And I have started a business in Philadelphia. 802 00:39:03,110 --> 00:39:05,351 Little did my grandfather know, 803 00:39:05,470 --> 00:39:07,518 mahjong would be here to stay. 804 00:39:08,230 --> 00:39:11,074 Hobbies of the east continues in a moment. 805 00:39:17,470 --> 00:39:19,154 You could all be doing this. 806 00:39:19,270 --> 00:39:20,510 Just saying. 807 00:39:20,590 --> 00:39:23,833 I watch way too many ads online, and I don't do enough sit-ups. 808 00:39:24,750 --> 00:39:25,751 So I bought these. 809 00:39:25,950 --> 00:39:28,112 Now every time an ad pops up online, 810 00:39:28,270 --> 00:39:30,432 I get 30 seconds of ab-blasting. 811 00:39:31,030 --> 00:39:32,794 I call it ads for abs. 812 00:39:33,070 --> 00:39:36,119 Ironically, I learned about the boots from an ad online. 813 00:39:36,470 --> 00:39:38,632 Why can't you just do regular sit-ups? 814 00:39:38,830 --> 00:39:40,070 I'll tell you why. 815 00:39:41,430 --> 00:39:42,795 Because 816 00:39:43,910 --> 00:39:45,071 the floor 817 00:39:46,790 --> 00:39:47,791 is 818 00:39:49,070 --> 00:39:50,276 disgusting. 819 00:39:54,830 --> 00:39:57,481 Yeah. My trainer said, 820 00:39:57,950 --> 00:40:00,271 "Everybody fails working out." 821 00:40:00,470 --> 00:40:01,676 That's how you win. 822 00:40:01,950 --> 00:40:03,952 Okay. All right. 823 00:40:05,030 --> 00:40:07,795 Okay. Kevin, a little help, buddy. 824 00:40:08,150 --> 00:40:09,151 Oh. 825 00:40:09,510 --> 00:40:12,639 Why don't your famous stomachs help you now? 826 00:40:12,870 --> 00:40:14,031 Can someone please help me? 827 00:40:15,310 --> 00:40:18,439 Ow. These teas are hot. Can someone help me, please? 828 00:40:19,990 --> 00:40:20,991 Thanks. 829 00:40:21,350 --> 00:40:22,840 - Okay. - Just... 830 00:40:24,590 --> 00:40:25,591 Just“ 831 00:40:26,190 --> 00:40:28,511 People, I'm not going anywhere. 832 00:40:28,670 --> 00:40:30,798 Soon my core will get strong again, 833 00:40:30,910 --> 00:40:33,072 and, when that happens, I'll be able... 834 00:40:34,430 --> 00:40:35,431 Head rush! 835 00:40:35,710 --> 00:40:36,711 Ah! 836 00:40:38,590 --> 00:40:39,830 Can someone please help me? 837 00:40:40,190 --> 00:40:41,191 I... Hey. 838 00:40:41,790 --> 00:40:43,235 I'm not going anywhere. 839 00:40:43,990 --> 00:40:45,401 I'll be right here. 840 00:40:46,350 --> 00:40:47,556 Oh, that's not good. 841 00:40:47,990 --> 00:40:50,675 Hey, guys, I've got 20 bucks for anyone who will help me. 842 00:40:50,750 --> 00:40:52,161 Kevin, would you like a pizza? 843 00:40:53,455 --> 00:41:03,455 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/6ymp3 Help other users to choose the best subtitles