1
00:00:02,877 --> 00:00:04,087
Oliver Putnam,
long considered

2
00:00:04,170 --> 00:00:06,423
New York's most
un-land-able bachelor,

3
00:00:06,506 --> 00:00:07,409
is in love.

4
00:00:07,424 --> 00:00:08,424
That's right.

5
00:00:08,633 --> 00:00:10,468
This merchandise is
off the market, bruh.

6
00:00:10,552 --> 00:00:13,096
Ah! Loretta.
Whom you have yet to ask out.

7
00:00:19,310 --> 00:00:20,770
You're not supposed
to be here.

8
00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,814
There was someone
in his dressing room.

9
00:00:22,897 --> 00:00:24,524
Whose lipstick is this?

10
00:00:24,607 --> 00:00:26,151
I would imagine
it belongs to our killer.

11
00:00:26,234 --> 00:00:28,528
You found my lipstick.

12
00:00:28,611 --> 00:00:31,740
Charles-Haden Savage,
I'd be honored.

13
00:00:31,823 --> 00:00:33,533
The answer is yes!

14
00:00:33,616 --> 00:00:36,077
I would love to marry you!

15
00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:37,912
This is a fun twist.

16
00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:55,138
Ah, love! You gotta love it.

17
00:00:55,305 --> 00:00:58,850
Everywhere you look,
there it is.

18
00:00:58,933 --> 00:01:01,227
But in the city that
never sleeps,

19
00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:02,395
how do you really know

20
00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:03,938
who the hell you're
sleeping with?

21
00:01:04,647 --> 00:01:07,817
People can conceal
some very dirty secrets.

22
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,616
Or fatally fatal flaws.

23
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:19,871
Everything's fine.

24
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,457
Joy's just loudly
shattering sea glass

25
00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:23,485
to put in her aquarium.

26
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:24,500
Sure, sure.

27
00:01:24,542 --> 00:01:25,835
Uh, have you asked
your new fiancée

28
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:27,379
about the lipstick yet?

29
00:01:27,462 --> 00:01:30,173
Did she write "Fucking Pig"
on Ben's dressing room mirror?

30
00:01:30,256 --> 00:01:32,634
Oh yeah.
No. But, I will.

31
00:01:32,717 --> 00:01:34,844
Charles, you said
you would ask her two days ago.

32
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,346
Let us in.
We can talk to her.

33
00:01:36,429 --> 00:01:38,306
I am handling the situation

34
00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:39,474
in my own time.

35
00:01:39,557 --> 00:01:41,434
See, I told you he
didn't need our help,

36
00:01:41,518 --> 00:01:43,603
but I do.
Does this scarf say,

37
00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:46,064
"Loretta, I've loved you
since the first day I met you?"

38
00:01:46,147 --> 00:01:47,691
I don't know what the
scarf is saying,

39
00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:49,567
but all I can see
is a crayon box.

40
00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:51,111
Ah! Well, see, that's why

41
00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:53,196
we always carry a backup.

42
00:01:53,863 --> 00:01:55,782
- Thank you, Mabel.
- Charles,

43
00:01:55,865 --> 00:01:57,492
I can calmly talk to Joy.

44
00:01:57,575 --> 00:02:00,161
You know, investigator woman
to suspect woman.

45
00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:03,248
She is not another Jan.
I… think. She could be,

46
00:02:03,331 --> 00:02:06,418
but it's important for me
to be able to interrogate

47
00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:08,670
my murderous girlfriend…
fiancée…

48
00:02:08,753 --> 00:02:09,963
Shit.

49
00:02:10,046 --> 00:02:11,798
What about my hair?

50
00:02:11,881 --> 00:02:12,966
Is it giving Karen…

51
00:02:13,049 --> 00:02:15,051
or Cary Grant?

52
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,387
Hold on.

53
00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:19,472
Mabel Mora,
are you going out

54
00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:20,458
- on a date?
- Date?

55
00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:22,767
No! I… No. No.

56
00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:24,644
Tobert has a suspect
he has a lead on.

57
00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:26,396
I'm meeting him
for a stakeout,

58
00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:28,481
and the place has
a dress code.

59
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:30,400
- Uh, well, it's a date.
- Yeah.

60
00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:33,278
It's a stakeout!
When two totally platonic,

61
00:02:33,361 --> 00:02:35,947
semi-professional investigators
wait together,

62
00:02:36,031 --> 00:02:38,074
in an out-of-sight,
enclosed space,

63
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:39,534
and watch while a suspect

64
00:02:39,617 --> 00:02:40,952
hopefully incriminates
themselves,

65
00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:42,370
while we…

66
00:02:42,454 --> 00:02:44,456
…hold in our pee for hours
and eat stale Cheetos.

67
00:02:44,539 --> 00:02:46,458
In a cocktail dress?

68
00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:48,460
Look, I'm gonna unmute
your texts.

69
00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:50,503
I'll be in the wings
if anything should go haywire.

70
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:55,717
I'll be okay.

71
00:02:58,928 --> 00:03:00,430
Oy.

72
00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:02,432
Is it possible

73
00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:05,060
you're sleeping next to
a lunatic, or a liar?

74
00:03:05,143 --> 00:03:06,603
Sure, it is.

75
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:09,189
But I always tell people,

76
00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:10,482
better to lose
your mind lovin'

77
00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:12,525
than to live your
life loveless.

78
00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:14,819
It's been a while
since I dipped my quill

79
00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:16,654
in a woman's ink pot.

80
00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:19,199
Any new moves I
should know about?

81
00:03:19,282 --> 00:03:21,326
Please don't make me
take the next one.

82
00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:31,646
Joy, can you come
in here, please?

83
00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:52,834
Charlie,

84
00:04:52,917 --> 00:04:54,210
- you ready to go?
- Yeah!

85
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,503
Yeah. Hey, Joy!

86
00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:58,256
Hey, this, uh,
Ruby Strippers lipstick?

87
00:04:58,340 --> 00:04:59,799
- Uh-huh.
- Did I tell you where we found it?

88
00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:01,217
It was backstage.

89
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,261
- Okay…
- Yeah. It was…

90
00:05:03,345 --> 00:05:05,180
in Ben's
dressing room to be exact.

91
00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:07,265
I mean, any clue how that
would've gotten there?

92
00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:09,809
Hey, Brazzos.

93
00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:11,853
Hang up your badge, okay?

94
00:05:11,936 --> 00:05:14,397
We're on hiatus.

95
00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,232
Remember?

96
00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:19,235
Yeah, uh, but just
for my case files,

97
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,695
how would it have
gotten there?

98
00:05:20,779 --> 00:05:23,698
Seriously, President McKinley?

99
00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:26,951
This is your last strike!

100
00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:28,161
President McKinley?

101
00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:30,413
I always wanted to be friends
with a president,

102
00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:33,124
but this one's an asshole.

103
00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:35,335
You think I don't see
what you're doing,

104
00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:36,836
you slimy-finned terrorist?

105
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:39,130
I do not tolerate bullies.

106
00:05:39,214 --> 00:05:41,758
You're in solitary, POTUS.

107
00:05:45,553 --> 00:05:46,846
Joy,

108
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:48,390
someone wrote a
threatening message

109
00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:50,350
on Ben's mirror with this.

110
00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:52,102
Do you know anything
about that?

111
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,563
Charles-Haden Savage.

112
00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:57,565
Do you honestly think

113
00:05:57,649 --> 00:05:59,901
I had something to do
with Ben's death?

114
00:06:07,575 --> 00:06:09,494
- Whoa!
- Happy engagement!

115
00:06:09,577 --> 00:06:10,578
Ow!

116
00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:13,915
Whoa! Charles, you gotta
get you to my Pilates guy.

117
00:06:13,998 --> 00:06:15,417
And my face guy.

118
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:17,711
You got a little Shar-Pei action
going on there.

119
00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:22,173
- Sazzmatazz!
- Almond Joy!

120
00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:24,217
Oh… Mm!
Aw.

121
00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:26,678
You know, they say
a gift given in love

122
00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:29,222
has the power to wipe away
any storm brewing.

123
00:06:29,305 --> 00:06:31,141
- Hm.
- It's an 18-piece fondue set.

124
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:32,225
Oh, thank you.

125
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,352
Aw, we've missed ya,
Sazzmanian Devil!

126
00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:36,730
Well, Wile E. Joy-ote,

127
00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:38,898
apparently not enough
for your new fiancé

128
00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:41,359
to make me his understudy
in the play.

129
00:06:41,443 --> 00:06:43,486
- Oh, well, I…
- I'm over it.

130
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:46,072
I'm doing stunts for Bakula
next week in LA.

131
00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:47,866
Are you cheating
on me with Scott?

132
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:49,743
Ooh.

133
00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:51,453
Woo!

134
00:06:51,536 --> 00:06:53,329
Do send Scotty my love.

135
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,498
I miss his faith in me.

136
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:58,543
He never accuses me
of horrible things.

137
00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:00,211
You know what, Charles?

138
00:07:00,295 --> 00:07:02,380
You trust my palate, right?

139
00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:03,506
I think that, uh,

140
00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:05,216
I can taste test
these cakes on my own.

141
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:07,427
You stay here with Sazz.

142
00:07:07,969 --> 00:07:10,472
Maybe she wants to
be interrogated.

143
00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:13,808
Ooh.

144
00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:17,520
Okay, talk to mama.

145
00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:30,909
- Oh! Oliver, you're here.
- Ah.

146
00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:33,536
- I thought I heard someone.
- You're a vision.

147
00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:37,999
Enchanté, ma chérie.

148
00:07:38,083 --> 00:07:40,168
Oh. Welcome to my
slice of New York.

149
00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:42,545
It's itty-bitty,
but it's, you know, it's…

150
00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:45,382
- Oh! Mm-hmm.
- Art!

151
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,384
It's art.

152
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,719
Who are you?

153
00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:53,264
I'm a woman
with a broken microwave.

154
00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:56,976
Which is why I'm forced to
improvise with this…

155
00:07:57,060 --> 00:08:00,313
prehistoric broiler
that I never use!

156
00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:02,023
You do like pork chops
though, don't you?

157
00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:04,651
Oh, sure.
Love solid food.

158
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:05,777
- Uh, yeah.
- Love…

159
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:07,946
chewing on a chop.

160
00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:09,656
Yeah.

161
00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:12,409
You know, I zap a perfectly
pink one in my microwave.

162
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:13,660
- Ah.
- But it's broken.

163
00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:15,203
- Mm…
- And now my timing,

164
00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:16,579
the temperature,
all thrown off.

165
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:17,789
C-Can I assist?

166
00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:20,500
No, just, uh,
pop a squat, kumquat.

167
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:21,751
Oh.

168
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:25,880
So… unique.

169
00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:29,134
What's this fun thing?

170
00:08:29,217 --> 00:08:30,427
- Oh no! Don't open that!
- Oh!

171
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:31,510
Don't do that!

172
00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:34,806
S… I'm sorry. I didn't…

173
00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:37,475
Didn't mean to jump the gun.

174
00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:41,980
Dinner before dessert,
I always say.

175
00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:44,232
Oh.

176
00:08:51,406 --> 00:08:52,657
There you are.

177
00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:55,326
- Hi.
- Hi.

178
00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:56,661
You look fantastic.

179
00:08:57,912 --> 00:09:00,415
Thanks. You also look, um…

180
00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:02,500
Well, you know, I clean up.

181
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:07,130
So, we're here because
your suspect

182
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:08,631
likes swanky piano bars?

183
00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:10,592
Oh, I already ordered us
some, uh, bites.

184
00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:12,010
I wasn't sure what
your drink was.

185
00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:13,093
EMCEE
Ladies and gentlemen,

186
00:09:13,136 --> 00:09:14,080
let's give a
warm welcome to…

187
00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:15,347
Wait, what's going on?

188
00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:16,973
Wh-Where's your lead?

189
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,892
Hey, cool cats.

190
00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:21,436
I'm Johnny Jay, and I'm
gonna sing for you tonight.

191
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:31,821
Jonathan?

192
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,366
Howard's sweet boyfriend
is your guy?

193
00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:35,435
Well, he was.

194
00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:36,951
I thought he was
a great suspect.

195
00:09:37,035 --> 00:09:38,161
Ben's understudy?

196
00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:40,497
Who else had more to gain
from him dying, you know?

197
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,540
But, I've been following him
around for a while now,

198
00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:43,917
and all I could
find out was that

199
00:09:44,042 --> 00:09:45,335
he volunteers with
Broadway Cares

200
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:48,004
and has this fantastic
weekly cabaret set.

201
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,714
- You've gotta be kidding me.
- No, seriously.

202
00:09:49,798 --> 00:09:51,883
He did, uh, "Somewhere
Over The Rainbow" last week.

203
00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:52,966
I actually wept.

204
00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:54,260
Let me get this straight.

205
00:09:54,344 --> 00:09:56,262
You texted me saying
you have a lead.

206
00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:58,139
I text you saying
"Tell me more."

207
00:09:58,223 --> 00:09:59,849
You say "Meet me here,"
I'm here,

208
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:02,185
and now you're telling me
you don't have a lead.

209
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:04,604
You're just Jonathan's
biggest cabaret fan.

210
00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:06,314
And now, I am on a date

211
00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:08,441
with that cute girl
from the armoire.

212
00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:13,780
Okay, yes, I got creative.
Is that okay?

213
00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:17,283
Mezcal Old-Fashioned.

214
00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:19,119
Is my drink.

215
00:10:19,661 --> 00:10:21,079
That I'm now gonna need.

216
00:10:21,162 --> 00:10:22,664
Yes, ma'am.

217
00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:30,380
Let's unpack
what just happened.

218
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:33,049
Safe space.
Well, safe-ish.

219
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,384
This is the Arconia.

220
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,803
Oh, abnormal amount
of death in this place.

221
00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:40,181
By the way, are we sure
that the killer was after Ben,

222
00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:42,183
- and not you, Charles?
- What?

223
00:10:42,267 --> 00:10:44,436
Well, I've been
getting some vibes.

224
00:10:44,519 --> 00:10:46,187
I also have my ham radio,

225
00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:48,690
and there's chatter of people
wishing it was you

226
00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:49,774
instead of Ben.

227
00:10:49,858 --> 00:10:52,485
- Me?
- Anywhos,

228
00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:54,154
what's going on with Joy?

229
00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:56,072
And have you talked to
a therapist about it?

230
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:58,491
- I don't have a therapist.
- I know you don't.

231
00:10:58,575 --> 00:10:59,826
It was always worth me asking,

232
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:01,453
'cause that big white
head of yours?

233
00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:03,621
Could use
a good shrinking.

234
00:11:03,705 --> 00:11:05,957
Ah, Jan and I
laugh about that.

235
00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:07,083
- Jan?
- Whoa!

236
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:09,002
I should've trigger-warned.
Yes, yes.

237
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:12,088
I have continued
to see Jan, yes.

238
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,132
As in dating?
She's a murderer.

239
00:11:14,215 --> 00:11:15,342
Yeah.

240
00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:17,969
You know, I guess it's the,
uh, stuntwoman in me.

241
00:11:18,053 --> 00:11:20,847
I got the hots for danger.

242
00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:23,683
Anyway, it's a bit hard
behind plexiglass.

243
00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:26,519
Or, as Jan calls it,
sexi-glass.

244
00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:30,523
There's only so much you can do
with a raised eyebrow,

245
00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:33,651
a wet lip,
and a sliver of tit.

246
00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:35,862
God, you are tense, man.

247
00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:37,197
Sazz.

248
00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:39,949
- I'm worried that Joy is another killer.
- What?

249
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,659
Joy?

250
00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:43,453
We've known her for decades.

251
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:44,996
No, no, no, no, no.

252
00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:48,041
You've got the case and the
engagement all mushed up.

253
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:49,959
You have to prove to yourself
Joy's not a murderer,

254
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:51,252
so you can go ahead
with the wedding.

255
00:11:51,336 --> 00:11:54,005
No. I have to prove
Joy isn't a murderer,

256
00:11:54,089 --> 00:11:55,382
so I can break up with her

257
00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:57,759
and not be in fear for my life
like I was with Jan!

258
00:11:57,842 --> 00:12:01,221
Charles, you are suffering
from MGDS:

259
00:12:01,304 --> 00:12:04,599
Murderous Girlfriend
Derangement Syndrome.

260
00:12:04,683 --> 00:12:06,768
It's rare. I invented it.

261
00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:09,145
But it also means I
know the treatment.

262
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:12,315
Whoa. You know you got the
Rolls Royce of fish tanks here.

263
00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:18,822
We're gonna play a game.

264
00:12:20,532 --> 00:12:22,367
Cheers.

265
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:24,202
Cheers.

266
00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:25,787
So glad we didn't
waste our money

267
00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:26,870
going to Le Cirque.

268
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,624
Yeah.

269
00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:33,253
Mm.

270
00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:36,506
Mm…

271
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,346
- It's so solid.
- Yeah.

272
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:45,348
- So fully formed, you know?
- Yeah.

273
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:47,642
- Damn broiler. I'm just…
- No, it, it's just…

274
00:12:47,726 --> 00:12:49,686
Oh, what the hell,
I'm just gonna…

275
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,063
Look at this.
That's what I'm gonna…

276
00:12:52,147 --> 00:12:54,024
- Wow…
- Wh-Why cut it?

277
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,093
Why not?

278
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:56,317
Mm, well…

279
00:12:58,069 --> 00:13:00,321
So good.

280
00:13:06,161 --> 00:13:07,912
- Oh, my God!
- Oh!

281
00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:09,664
So sorry!

282
00:13:09,748 --> 00:13:10,650
Is that mine?

283
00:13:10,665 --> 00:13:12,000
Oh no, I'm so mortified!

284
00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:13,877
Let me get you some
ice or something.

285
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,045
No, no, no, I-I don't…

286
00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:17,797
I-I actually don't
feel anything. I…

287
00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:19,466
- You sure?
- No.

288
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:22,802
Oh God.

289
00:13:31,186 --> 00:13:32,896
I love that little snort you do.

290
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:35,148
You do?
Yeah,

291
00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:36,358
I do.

292
00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:38,151
You're like an
adorable little piglet.

293
00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:44,783
I played a pig
in the cruise ship production

294
00:13:44,866 --> 00:13:47,160
of Charlotte's Web
once, in my 30s,

295
00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:50,121
but I think I really
honed my snort

296
00:13:50,205 --> 00:13:53,625
when I played Snowball
in a black box production

297
00:13:53,708 --> 00:13:55,543
of, um, Animal Farm.

298
00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:57,337
How many pigs
have you played?

299
00:13:59,589 --> 00:14:01,383
Oh my…

300
00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:04,594
Fucking pigs. Fucking pi…

301
00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:07,681
Hey, you know who was
a real fucking pig?

302
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,016
Ben Glenroy.

303
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:13,603
Let's toast to him.

304
00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:22,612
- What's the matter?
- N-Nothing.

305
00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:23,696
You just went white.

306
00:14:23,738 --> 00:14:24,906
No, no, no, nothing.

307
00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:27,283
I just, um, it's just
those words.

308
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,828
Did you ever tell Ben that?

309
00:14:29,911 --> 00:14:30,912
That he was a,

310
00:14:30,995 --> 00:14:32,580
how'd you put it,
a fucking pig?

311
00:14:32,664 --> 00:14:35,500
Let's not talk about
Ben now. I mean…

312
00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:38,211
Yes! No, no, no.
No, no, no, n…

313
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:39,239
No more Ben talk.

314
00:14:39,254 --> 00:14:41,381
No more Ben. No Ben.

315
00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:42,716
Just…

316
00:14:44,718 --> 00:14:47,637
Did I just make things weird?

317
00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:49,014
No! No, no, no.

318
00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:50,515
- Yes.
- No. Just…

319
00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:54,269
You poor thing.
Your tooth.

320
00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:58,565
Do you trust me?

321
00:14:58,648 --> 00:15:00,066
Huh?

322
00:15:00,692 --> 00:15:02,736
Wanna get outta here?

323
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:07,657
I know just the place for this.

324
00:15:17,792 --> 00:15:21,046
Mm! Okay, so your
drink of choice, Mezcal.

325
00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:22,589
Your weather of choice, rain.

326
00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:24,549
And your favorite
time of day, night.

327
00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:26,843
Not exactly a fount
of information, are you?

328
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:29,554
Hey, you got me here
under false pretenses.

329
00:15:29,637 --> 00:15:31,097
I'm making you work for it.

330
00:15:31,181 --> 00:15:32,390
That's fair.

331
00:15:32,474 --> 00:15:35,018
So, um, Oliver and Charles,
what is that deal?

332
00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:37,187
Are they, like, your
dads, your patrons,

333
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:39,147
your volunteer work? What?

334
00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:42,108
No! They're… my best buds.

335
00:15:42,192 --> 00:15:44,194
Okay. That's rad.

336
00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:46,905
But, like, what
do you talk about?

337
00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:48,740
Murder, mostly.

338
00:15:48,823 --> 00:15:51,743
And how to connect to Bluetooth.
We talk about that a lot.

339
00:15:51,826 --> 00:15:54,037
So what do you say?
Have I earned a second round?

340
00:15:55,205 --> 00:15:57,123
- Yes, ma'am?
- Two more, please.

341
00:15:57,207 --> 00:15:58,458
Coming right up.

342
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:01,002
Alright, so who's
in your crew?

343
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:02,462
And wildlife doesn't count.

344
00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:04,881
Honestly, it's really tough
to stay in contact

345
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,591
with anybody when you're
constantly traveling.

346
00:16:07,717 --> 00:16:10,470
Yeah, and if you don't
have a partner to ground you,

347
00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:11,596
put down roots…

348
00:16:13,848 --> 00:16:15,725
Is that something you want?

349
00:16:16,685 --> 00:16:18,269
I think about it.

350
00:16:19,229 --> 00:16:22,023
Welcome to
"Commit Or Be Committed!"

351
00:16:22,107 --> 00:16:24,317
And tonight's contestants
are me,

352
00:16:24,401 --> 00:16:26,027
in the role of Joy Payne,

353
00:16:26,111 --> 00:16:27,779
makeup artist to the stars.

354
00:16:27,862 --> 00:16:30,865
And playing opposite Joy,
you know him as Brazzos,

355
00:16:30,949 --> 00:16:33,952
- Charles-Haden Savage!
- Hey.

356
00:16:34,744 --> 00:16:37,080
Our first category…

357
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:40,000
is sexual relations.

358
00:16:40,083 --> 00:16:42,460
Now, remember. I'm Joy.

359
00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:47,298
I need sex twice a day,

360
00:16:47,382 --> 00:16:49,467
three times on weekends!

361
00:16:53,388 --> 00:16:54,388
Wrong answer!

362
00:16:54,723 --> 00:16:57,308
Nothing wrong with a
supercharged sex drive, Charles.

363
00:16:57,392 --> 00:17:00,937
Our next category
is the future.

364
00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:03,106
You are my future.

365
00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:05,817
And I'll never, ever
leave you, Charlie.

366
00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:06,803
Ever!

367
00:17:06,818 --> 00:17:09,529
Never! Never ever!

368
00:17:10,405 --> 00:17:13,533
Well! Our first green light.

369
00:17:13,616 --> 00:17:16,619
Alright. You're up.
Dig deep.

370
00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:23,585
Joy has been this close
to my face for 30-plus years,

371
00:17:23,668 --> 00:17:25,920
looking at every
flaw and pore,

372
00:17:26,004 --> 00:17:27,505
and she still wants to
jump my bones,

373
00:17:27,589 --> 00:17:28,757
often twice a day.

374
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:31,259
Now, isn't that the behavior
of a psychopath?

375
00:17:31,343 --> 00:17:34,596
Mm, sounds like the behavior of
someone who loves you for you.

376
00:17:34,679 --> 00:17:36,556
But I'm me.

377
00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:37,849
Look at me.

378
00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:40,518
Is this the face of someone
who deserves Joy?

379
00:17:40,602 --> 00:17:42,020
Ding, ding,
ding, ding, ding!

380
00:17:42,103 --> 00:17:43,646
I think we have a diagnosis.

381
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:45,273
Charles-Haden Savage,

382
00:17:45,357 --> 00:17:48,401
you're not afraid of
uppercase "J" Joy.

383
00:17:48,485 --> 00:17:51,571
You're afraid of
lowercase "j" joy.

384
00:17:58,745 --> 00:17:59,996
That's it.

385
00:18:01,039 --> 00:18:02,123
That's my problem.

386
00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:04,209
Now do you still think
she's capable of murder?

387
00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:06,002
No, I was crazy
for thinking that.

388
00:18:06,169 --> 00:18:07,253
No, you're not that complex.

389
00:18:07,337 --> 00:18:09,631
You do need to stop
being a scaredy cat.

390
00:18:19,474 --> 00:18:21,267
Whoa.

391
00:18:22,852 --> 00:18:24,562
Oh-ho.
Wow!

392
00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:27,440
- Oh, my gosh.
- You know, it is truly amazing

393
00:18:27,524 --> 00:18:29,651
that you can charter a yacht

394
00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:31,945
in the greatest city on Earth
for four dollars.

395
00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:33,571
Yeah.

396
00:18:33,655 --> 00:18:35,532
Is there
a destination?

397
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,742
- The tropics?
- You'll see.

398
00:18:39,077 --> 00:18:40,203
Pick your poison.

399
00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:41,996
Poison?

400
00:18:43,081 --> 00:18:44,165
Or…

401
00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:46,960
Ooh-wee!

402
00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:49,379
Now, we're talking.

403
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,047
Look, that joint has
purple rolling paper.

404
00:18:51,131 --> 00:18:52,033
I know.

405
00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:53,258
Groovy doobie.

406
00:18:53,341 --> 00:18:54,884
Do you doobie, baby?

407
00:18:57,053 --> 00:19:00,223
My 12th roommate,
Babette Claus,

408
00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:02,475
gave me this back in 1978.

409
00:19:04,185 --> 00:19:06,563
- Wait, Babette? I-Is…
- Yeah.

410
00:19:07,397 --> 00:19:09,482
Is that the chorus girl
that got struck by lightning

411
00:19:09,566 --> 00:19:10,734
- skinny dipping in-in…
- Skinny dipping.

412
00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:12,068
- Central Park… Oh, my…
- Central Park Reservoir.

413
00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:13,528
- Okay, this is…
- I know.

414
00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:15,030
- This is insane.
- Mm-hmm.

415
00:19:15,113 --> 00:19:18,867
I rolled 10 joints for Babette

416
00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:22,412
using a purple streamer
from Studio 54 that year.

417
00:19:23,246 --> 00:19:24,956
- At Grace Jones'…
- Her 30th birthday party!

418
00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:26,026
Yes!

419
00:19:26,041 --> 00:19:27,167
I was at that party!

420
00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:28,543
- No, you were not.
- Yes, I was!

421
00:19:28,626 --> 00:19:29,961
Oh, my God!

422
00:19:30,045 --> 00:19:33,173
That's the only time
I ever got in there.

423
00:19:33,256 --> 00:19:34,591
This is ridic…
I can't believe this.

424
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,509
I think I rolled that joint.

425
00:19:37,302 --> 00:19:40,221
- Now, spark it, baby!
- Wow.

426
00:19:42,057 --> 00:19:44,517
So I guess I've…
I guess we've been

427
00:19:44,601 --> 00:19:47,437
running in the same circles
for a long time.

428
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:49,898
- Oh, yes.
- It's a shame our orbits

429
00:19:49,981 --> 00:19:51,107
never crossed, huh?

430
00:19:51,649 --> 00:19:53,985
Well, I may not have
been on your radar,

431
00:19:54,069 --> 00:19:57,364
but you were certainly on mine.

432
00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:01,659
I would've killed to be
in one of your productions

433
00:20:01,743 --> 00:20:03,036
but (sniffs)…

434
00:20:03,495 --> 00:20:06,539
something always happened
to screw it up.

435
00:20:06,623 --> 00:20:09,501
Like my ponytail got stuck
in the subway doors once

436
00:20:09,584 --> 00:20:13,338
on the way to audition
for your Merry Wives.

437
00:20:13,421 --> 00:20:15,548
Oh, and then there was
the time Bernadette Peters

438
00:20:15,632 --> 00:20:18,218
gave me a bottled water
that was laced with Valium.

439
00:20:18,301 --> 00:20:20,637
And then I passed out
in the waiting room,

440
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:23,348
and I missed the chance
to be your Annie Oakley.

441
00:20:23,765 --> 00:20:25,100
You made that all up,
didn't you?

442
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:28,770
Oh Jesus.

443
00:20:28,853 --> 00:20:31,815
Dear God. Oh my…

444
00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:32,898
Wow.

445
00:20:33,108 --> 00:20:34,859
Yeah, but you know,
it is always something

446
00:20:34,943 --> 00:20:38,780
just infuriatingly,
um, banal.

447
00:20:39,406 --> 00:20:42,242
Like, "Your accent
is too authentic,"

448
00:20:42,325 --> 00:20:44,119
or, or, "Casting
doesn't like you,"

449
00:20:44,202 --> 00:20:45,495
or… I don't know.

450
00:20:45,995 --> 00:20:48,790
You know, when I was a kid,
they called me Lucky Durkin,

451
00:20:49,332 --> 00:20:52,627
because I won the school raffle
four times.

452
00:20:54,004 --> 00:20:56,089
But,
since then…

453
00:20:59,426 --> 00:21:01,845
Some nickname that
turned out to be.

454
00:21:02,887 --> 00:21:05,306
Maybe I'm just cursed.

455
00:21:06,850 --> 00:21:09,644
Or… it's probably…

456
00:21:10,061 --> 00:21:11,771
what I deserve.

457
00:21:11,855 --> 00:21:13,773
Oh, come on.
What could you have done

458
00:21:13,857 --> 00:21:15,358
to deserve being cursed?

459
00:21:21,656 --> 00:21:23,450
Open your mouth.

460
00:21:35,003 --> 00:21:37,505
That was super sexy.

461
00:21:38,256 --> 00:21:40,258
Am I crazy?

462
00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:42,594
I thi…

463
00:21:42,677 --> 00:21:45,472
I think the gap is handsome.

464
00:21:45,555 --> 00:21:48,683
Well, that might be the
40-year-old weed taking effect,

465
00:21:48,767 --> 00:21:51,394
you know?

466
00:22:06,618 --> 00:22:09,454
God, I can't believe you
ever thought Jonathan was…

467
00:22:11,539 --> 00:22:14,167
That's still not
a song, but cute.

468
00:22:14,250 --> 00:22:16,002
So, what? You solved the
first two murders

469
00:22:16,086 --> 00:22:18,088
just on your first try,
I presume?

470
00:22:18,171 --> 00:22:19,506
Yeah, totally.

471
00:22:19,589 --> 00:22:21,383
Between me, Charles,
and Oliver,

472
00:22:21,466 --> 00:22:23,718
it's just, like,
a one-day process.

473
00:22:24,177 --> 00:22:25,345
Well, lucky for me,

474
00:22:25,428 --> 00:22:27,555
this one's taking you
a little bit longer.

475
00:22:29,516 --> 00:22:31,476
Oh, there's Jonathan again.

476
00:22:34,562 --> 00:22:35,939
Who's he hugging hello?

477
00:22:36,690 --> 00:22:37,774
- No! Don't look.
- Why?

478
00:22:37,857 --> 00:22:39,567
Don't draw attention.

479
00:22:40,735 --> 00:22:42,570
Could Jonathan be…

480
00:22:43,238 --> 00:22:45,657
No, he wouldn't
cheat on Howard.

481
00:22:45,740 --> 00:22:47,534
With who? There's somebody?
Describe him.

482
00:22:47,617 --> 00:22:50,537
Well, he looks like
he should be in a limo.

483
00:22:50,620 --> 00:22:52,497
Rider or driver,
I can't tell.

484
00:22:52,580 --> 00:22:54,082
That's your description?

485
00:22:54,165 --> 00:22:57,085
He's wearing a
red coat and a cap.

486
00:22:57,168 --> 00:22:58,168
Huh.

487
00:22:58,253 --> 00:23:00,046
Oh, now
Jonathan's handing him

488
00:23:00,130 --> 00:23:01,256
an envelope,

489
00:23:01,339 --> 00:23:04,426
and the guy is giving him
a slip of paper?

490
00:23:04,509 --> 00:23:06,052
Okay, this is killing me. I'm
just gonna come to that side,

491
00:23:06,136 --> 00:23:07,512
- then we can both be watching.
- Well… No!

492
00:23:09,723 --> 00:23:12,267
- Sorry! Sorry. You okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.

493
00:23:12,350 --> 00:23:14,185
I think we should stay
down here for a second.

494
00:23:14,269 --> 00:23:15,729
Yeah.

495
00:23:15,812 --> 00:23:17,105
- Okay, I gotta look.
- No, no, no, don't.

496
00:23:17,188 --> 00:23:18,690
You look, they'll
definitely see you.

497
00:23:18,773 --> 00:23:20,775
I mean, unless we
do the classic move

498
00:23:20,859 --> 00:23:23,403
from the secret spy movies
where the target looks,

499
00:23:23,486 --> 00:23:25,822
and just sees two unassuming
secret agents making out.

500
00:23:26,281 --> 00:23:27,907
Yeah, I don't think
that'll be necessary.

501
00:23:27,991 --> 00:23:29,826
- They didn't see us.
- Well…

502
00:23:35,749 --> 00:23:37,709
Ah, we should've done
the kissing thing.

503
00:23:43,340 --> 00:23:44,758
What the hell?

504
00:23:44,841 --> 00:23:48,261
We need to figure out
who this guy in the cap is.

505
00:23:48,345 --> 00:23:50,055
Actually, I think
I do know that guy.

506
00:23:55,060 --> 00:23:57,437
We were very tired.

507
00:23:57,520 --> 00:23:59,689
We were very merry.

508
00:23:59,773 --> 00:24:03,276
We had gone back and forth
all night on the ferry.

509
00:24:04,361 --> 00:24:06,363
This is really…

510
00:24:07,906 --> 00:24:09,657
really nice.

511
00:24:09,741 --> 00:24:11,868
It is.

512
00:24:13,286 --> 00:24:16,289
I'm sorry
about earlier.

513
00:24:17,624 --> 00:24:19,334
At my place.

514
00:24:19,417 --> 00:24:21,670
I didn't mean to
get weird about Ben.

515
00:24:21,753 --> 00:24:25,048
I just had an idea
about tonight

516
00:24:25,131 --> 00:24:29,094
and talking about a dead person
just didn't feel like the mood.

517
00:24:29,636 --> 00:24:32,639
Well, it's, it's, it's alright
to talk about him.

518
00:24:33,431 --> 00:24:36,851
You know, I mean it-it's quite
the thing we all went through.

519
00:24:36,935 --> 00:24:38,269
- Yeah.
- It's just…

520
00:24:38,353 --> 00:24:40,772
that was a very…

521
00:24:40,855 --> 00:24:43,483
…specific turn of phrase
you used.

522
00:24:43,566 --> 00:24:45,026
"Fucking pig."

523
00:24:45,110 --> 00:24:47,779
Yeah, shit,
because I…

524
00:24:47,862 --> 00:24:50,907
I did call him that.

525
00:24:52,575 --> 00:24:53,561
We had a fight.

526
00:24:53,576 --> 00:24:55,537
Yeah.

527
00:24:55,620 --> 00:24:58,164
Just half an hour before he
went on the stage that night.

528
00:24:59,582 --> 00:25:02,377
He said that I was
obsessed with him,

529
00:25:02,460 --> 00:25:06,214
and that, uh, I had
wormed my way into the show,

530
00:25:06,715 --> 00:25:09,592
and that he didn't really want
to share the stage

531
00:25:09,676 --> 00:25:10,676
with a no-name.

532
00:25:11,011 --> 00:25:14,389
So, I…
Yeah, I snapped.

533
00:25:14,472 --> 00:25:16,099
"You fucking pig."

534
00:25:16,182 --> 00:25:18,101
Let go of me, you fucking pig!

535
00:25:21,146 --> 00:25:23,648
The last thing I said to him…

536
00:25:24,941 --> 00:25:27,444
before he collapsed. Ugh.

537
00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:30,822
But I was…

538
00:25:31,281 --> 00:25:33,616
far from the only person
in that theater

539
00:25:33,700 --> 00:25:34,700
who felt that way about him.

540
00:25:34,743 --> 00:25:37,245
He was an asshole
to everybody.

541
00:25:38,747 --> 00:25:40,415
Even his (sighs)…

542
00:25:40,498 --> 00:25:44,044
kind-hearted brother.

543
00:25:49,632 --> 00:25:52,844
But I'm really sorry you didn't
get your opening night.

544
00:25:54,971 --> 00:25:57,223
Well, I'm sorry he
was terrible to you.

545
00:25:59,100 --> 00:26:00,727
I adore you,

546
00:26:00,810 --> 00:26:02,687
Loretta Lucky Durkin,

547
00:26:02,771 --> 00:26:05,440
and everything about you.

548
00:26:05,523 --> 00:26:08,318
Apart from that pork chop.
I'll never forgive you for that.

549
00:26:15,825 --> 00:26:17,118
Here we are.

550
00:26:17,202 --> 00:26:20,121
This is why I brought you
out on the ferry!

551
00:26:20,205 --> 00:26:21,956
What?

552
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:23,750
Family tradition.

553
00:26:23,833 --> 00:26:26,961
When I was a girl,
whenever I lost a tooth,

554
00:26:27,045 --> 00:26:30,548
my mom would take me out
on the Mississippi River,

555
00:26:30,632 --> 00:26:32,884
on the ferry boat.
And…

556
00:26:32,967 --> 00:26:35,011
when we got
underneath a bridge,

557
00:26:35,095 --> 00:26:38,056
we'd throw the tooth overboard

558
00:26:38,139 --> 00:26:39,474
and make a wish.

559
00:26:39,974 --> 00:26:41,726
The Tooth Fairy can swim?

560
00:26:44,062 --> 00:26:45,689
- It's…
- Tooth ferry.

561
00:26:45,772 --> 00:26:47,273
- Tooth ferry!
- Yeah.

562
00:26:47,357 --> 00:26:50,652
- Okay, okay.
- I know, it's really corny.

563
00:26:50,735 --> 00:26:52,570
Oh, I-I'm a…

564
00:26:52,654 --> 00:26:55,573
- big fan of corny.
- Well, here's your tooth.

565
00:26:55,657 --> 00:26:57,951
Right. Alright.

566
00:27:06,292 --> 00:27:08,086
What'd you wish for?

567
00:27:30,275 --> 00:27:31,526
So who was he?

568
00:27:31,609 --> 00:27:33,028
That was…
Thank you.

569
00:27:33,111 --> 00:27:34,654
That was Ben's private doctor.

570
00:27:34,738 --> 00:27:36,406
One of those, uh,
celebrity concierge,

571
00:27:36,489 --> 00:27:38,533
anything-you-need
prescription-filler types.

572
00:27:38,616 --> 00:27:40,744
He's actually come to see Ben
a few times this past year.

573
00:27:40,827 --> 00:27:42,579
Huh. You know what for?

574
00:27:42,662 --> 00:27:44,164
Uh, they never
let me in the room.

575
00:27:44,247 --> 00:27:45,665
I just know they
call him "Dr. C."

576
00:27:45,749 --> 00:27:47,917
Great, that's a
perfect combination

577
00:27:48,001 --> 00:27:50,420
of mysterious and
un-googleable.

578
00:27:51,796 --> 00:27:53,923
But what was he talking
to Jonathan about?

579
00:27:54,007 --> 00:27:56,968
And if Jonathan was
paying him for something…

580
00:27:57,052 --> 00:27:59,137
You are so cute
when you theorize.

581
00:28:02,390 --> 00:28:03,892
We should get outta here.

582
00:28:10,774 --> 00:28:13,193
Hey! I'm sorry
you missed Sazz.

583
00:28:13,276 --> 00:28:14,903
She asked me to give you
a playful punch on the arm,

584
00:28:14,986 --> 00:28:17,238
but I don't wanna do that.
How'd the tasting go?

585
00:28:17,322 --> 00:28:18,865
I brought back 20 samples,

586
00:28:18,948 --> 00:28:21,659
so I wouldn't accidentally
leave a particular flavor behind

587
00:28:21,743 --> 00:28:24,537
and have you give me
the third degree about it.

588
00:28:24,621 --> 00:28:26,081
Oh, about that.

589
00:28:26,164 --> 00:28:28,166
Uh, I'm sorry I gave you a
hard time about the lipstick.

590
00:28:32,087 --> 00:28:34,172
I was backstage
on opening night.

591
00:28:34,255 --> 00:28:35,548
Oh?

592
00:28:35,632 --> 00:28:37,759
Howard summoned me
back there in a panic

593
00:28:37,842 --> 00:28:40,929
because Ben had a
cosmetic emergency.

594
00:28:41,012 --> 00:28:44,057
I don't know, I guess
somebody hit him in the face,

595
00:28:44,140 --> 00:28:45,517
and left a big red mark,

596
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:47,394
- and it needed covering.
- Oh, wow.

597
00:28:47,477 --> 00:28:48,603
Which I did.

598
00:28:48,895 --> 00:28:50,980
I'm guessing that my lipstick
fell out of my clutch

599
00:28:51,064 --> 00:28:52,065
when I was back there.

600
00:28:55,610 --> 00:28:57,529
But I didn't write
on his mirror,

601
00:28:57,612 --> 00:29:00,448
because I didn't
kill Ben, Charlie.

602
00:29:01,074 --> 00:29:03,284
Well, here's one
I never told anyone.

603
00:29:03,368 --> 00:29:06,830
I may, uh… probably,

604
00:29:06,913 --> 00:29:09,374
have been the person
who hit Ben.

605
00:29:09,958 --> 00:29:12,877
Let go of me, you fucking pig!

606
00:29:12,961 --> 00:29:14,087
What the hell's going on?

607
00:29:14,170 --> 00:29:16,172
- He attacked me!
- No, I didn't…

608
00:29:16,256 --> 00:29:18,466
We were rehearsing.
Stay out of it, fuckbag!

609
00:29:18,550 --> 00:29:19,550
Hey!

610
00:29:21,845 --> 00:29:25,098
Wait, you hit Ben?
The night he died?

611
00:29:25,932 --> 00:29:27,726
And yet, for some reason,

612
00:29:27,809 --> 00:29:30,311
you've been thinking that
I could be the killer?

613
00:29:30,395 --> 00:29:31,771
Wh… For how long?

614
00:29:31,855 --> 00:29:33,189
- Oh, not long at all.
- Oh.

615
00:29:33,273 --> 00:29:36,651
I mean, at first, I was like,
"Joy? My Joy? No way!"

616
00:29:36,735 --> 00:29:38,862
But then, Oliver and Mabel
weren't so sure.

617
00:29:38,945 --> 00:29:42,073
Wh… You talked about this
with everyone else except me?

618
00:29:42,157 --> 00:29:44,951
And you still proposed
thinking all this?

619
00:29:45,035 --> 00:29:47,746
Well, you know, funny story.

620
00:29:47,829 --> 00:29:49,998
That was actually an accident.

621
00:29:50,081 --> 00:29:51,166
Accident?

622
00:29:51,249 --> 00:29:53,585
Well…

623
00:29:53,668 --> 00:29:56,504
No. Not a… I mean,
it was, but then…

624
00:29:56,588 --> 00:29:58,548
You didn't mean to
propose to me?

625
00:29:58,631 --> 00:30:00,300
No, I didn't.

626
00:30:00,383 --> 00:30:01,509
What?

627
00:30:01,593 --> 00:30:04,179
Wow. Okay.

628
00:30:04,262 --> 00:30:05,430
Gut punch.

629
00:30:07,891 --> 00:30:09,392
So…

630
00:30:11,144 --> 00:30:12,645
But…

631
00:30:16,149 --> 00:30:18,068
Do you wanna marry me now?

632
00:30:18,151 --> 00:30:20,987
I do! And it was great
that you left me with Sazz,

633
00:30:21,071 --> 00:30:24,074
because she did this thing
with the fish tank, and a quiz.

634
00:30:24,157 --> 00:30:26,743
And it was like, uh,
"Is Joy a nymphomaniac?"

635
00:30:26,826 --> 00:30:28,828
Do you hear yourself
right now?

636
00:30:28,912 --> 00:30:33,041
I think of all the years of you
in my makeup chair, Charlie.

637
00:30:33,124 --> 00:30:34,376
Joking.

638
00:30:35,418 --> 00:30:37,712
Little winks in the mirror.

639
00:30:37,796 --> 00:30:39,881
That kick in your step
when you hopped up,

640
00:30:39,964 --> 00:30:42,217
looking good to
go to the set.

641
00:30:42,300 --> 00:30:45,595
I always thought we had
something special, Charlie!

642
00:30:45,679 --> 00:30:47,847
So I looked past
all the stuff.

643
00:30:47,931 --> 00:30:50,016
Your ego,
your self-absorption,

644
00:30:50,100 --> 00:30:52,185
your psoriasis elbows.

645
00:30:52,268 --> 00:30:54,813
- You gave me a cream…
- It's not working!

646
00:30:55,397 --> 00:30:57,023
You know, Charlie,

647
00:30:57,107 --> 00:30:59,859
I've been trying to
have an open dialogue

648
00:30:59,943 --> 00:31:01,945
about what we both want.

649
00:31:03,321 --> 00:31:06,241
But I'm kidding myself
to think you're really ready

650
00:31:06,324 --> 00:31:09,744
to open up to a woman
as open as I am.

651
00:31:09,828 --> 00:31:12,622
I tried telling myself
you're gonna change,

652
00:31:12,706 --> 00:31:15,041
but I think it might
be too late for you.

653
00:31:15,125 --> 00:31:16,626
No.

654
00:31:16,710 --> 00:31:19,587
It's not too late
because I have realized

655
00:31:19,671 --> 00:31:21,798
you are Joy…

656
00:31:21,881 --> 00:31:23,591
and joy.

657
00:31:23,675 --> 00:31:25,969
And I can embrace
both of you.

658
00:31:26,052 --> 00:31:28,096
And I want to, Joy.

659
00:31:28,179 --> 00:31:30,515
I do. I do.

660
00:31:35,895 --> 00:31:37,230
Embrace this.

661
00:31:40,817 --> 00:31:42,819
The engagement's off.

662
00:31:56,207 --> 00:31:58,626
Only two other men
have seen this before.

663
00:32:02,464 --> 00:32:04,716
I was pretty confident
going into tonight,

664
00:32:04,799 --> 00:32:08,136
but I did not expect to get
all the way to the Murder Board.

665
00:32:08,678 --> 00:32:11,681
- Wow, really?
- Due diligence.

666
00:32:11,765 --> 00:32:13,767
You really know how
to make a guy feel special.

667
00:32:14,726 --> 00:32:16,603
- May I?
- Uh, I…

668
00:32:16,686 --> 00:32:18,229
don't know. I'm worried
about your handwriting.

669
00:32:18,313 --> 00:32:19,522
You shouldn't be.

670
00:32:21,483 --> 00:32:22,483
Well…

671
00:32:27,906 --> 00:32:30,575
Look at us. Real-life
Rizzoli & Isles over here.

672
00:32:31,743 --> 00:32:33,078
What are you doing?

673
00:32:33,161 --> 00:32:34,662
Following a lead.

674
00:32:53,223 --> 00:32:56,601
I may not be good at dinner…

675
00:32:56,685 --> 00:33:00,397
- But you excel at dessert.
- Mm-hmm.

676
00:33:07,112 --> 00:33:09,823
Shall I draw us a bath?

677
00:33:10,365 --> 00:33:12,367
- You have one in here?
- Well, it's…

678
00:33:13,326 --> 00:33:16,371
more of a glorified barrel.

679
00:33:16,454 --> 00:33:18,081
Sounds cozy-wozy.

680
00:33:39,477 --> 00:33:41,980
I will say
one other thing about love.

681
00:33:42,731 --> 00:33:44,190
There are times

682
00:33:44,274 --> 00:33:47,444
when you've been
totally blinded

683
00:33:47,527 --> 00:33:50,447
by the mirage of
your own desires.

684
00:34:11,217 --> 00:34:14,804
And when the truth
of who you gave your heart to,

685
00:34:14,888 --> 00:34:17,515
of who they really are

686
00:34:17,599 --> 00:34:20,643
is suddenly staring you
right in the face?

687
00:34:22,479 --> 00:34:25,899
It might be a sign that things
just aren't meant to be.

688
00:34:27,067 --> 00:34:28,234
Or worse.

689
00:34:38,995 --> 00:34:39,995
Oliver?

690
00:34:42,582 --> 00:34:44,834
I'm waiting…

691
00:35:39,639 --> 00:35:42,600
Captioned by Point.360