1 00:00:01,334 --> 00:00:03,044 Something happened today. 2 00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:04,337 Oh, my God, they've been shot! 3 00:00:04,421 --> 00:00:05,755 It's Glen, he's still alive! 4 00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,632 - Zach! - They got me in my fat! 5 00:00:07,716 --> 00:00:11,302 All of you may have heard about our little "firearms moment" at the photo shoot, 6 00:00:11,386 --> 00:00:14,222 - but the show must go on! - Woo! 7 00:00:14,305 --> 00:00:15,306 Got me thinking. 8 00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:17,142 I was gonna propose, and I choked. 9 00:00:17,225 --> 00:00:19,352 - Ronnie's bonded with Loretta. - Who's Ronnie? 10 00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:21,396 - She's my Finsta. - Oh, no! 11 00:00:21,479 --> 00:00:24,399 I wanna spend whatever time I have left with you. 12 00:00:24,482 --> 00:00:25,734 Ugh… 13 00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:27,944 Dudenoff? Not in Portugal. Nope. 14 00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:31,698 He's been cashing social security checks at a bodega on 125th Street. 15 00:00:31,781 --> 00:00:33,825 This is Sazz Pataki's remains. 16 00:00:33,908 --> 00:00:35,452 Gravey, that's my friend! 17 00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:36,995 Here's her left shoulder. 18 00:00:37,078 --> 00:00:39,372 - No, it's not. - Yeah. See? It says "left". 19 00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:42,167 No. This one says "left". In Bulgarian. 20 00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:43,877 There's two left shoulders? 21 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:46,046 They just identified the other left shoulder! 22 00:00:46,129 --> 00:00:49,132 It belongs to Dudenoff. Dudenoff was murdered. 23 00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:52,802 We put hidden cameras in our production office and in your apartments. 24 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:54,679 Whose camera is this? 25 00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:56,181 "I'm watching you." 26 00:00:56,264 --> 00:00:58,808 We're not safe in this building! 27 00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:02,187 New York City. 28 00:01:02,270 --> 00:01:03,980 It sucks. 29 00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,982 It's a crime-ridden hellhole. 30 00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:09,611 And don't hit me with that, "The numbers don't bear that out," shit. 31 00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:13,073 You ever get mugged by a number? 32 00:01:13,156 --> 00:01:14,574 - Go, go, go! - Where are we going? 33 00:01:14,657 --> 00:01:16,868 Out of the city! The killer was in our apartments, 34 00:01:16,951 --> 00:01:19,537 and filming us, which makes him a perv, too. 35 00:01:19,621 --> 00:01:23,583 Alright, alright. Putnam, get in the zone. Gotta craft the perfect… 36 00:01:23,666 --> 00:01:26,294 poetic breakup text. So far, I have, "It's over," 37 00:01:26,377 --> 00:01:28,046 exclamation point, exclamation point, 38 00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:30,173 followed by 10 more exclamation points. 39 00:01:30,256 --> 00:01:31,883 You're breaking up with Loretta? 40 00:01:31,966 --> 00:01:35,553 I've never seen someone worse at being in a happy relationship. 41 00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:38,807 Mabel, I showed her my soul, and she said, "Ugh." 42 00:01:38,890 --> 00:01:41,601 So I'm ripping off the Band-Aid and taking my heart with it. 43 00:01:41,684 --> 00:01:43,186 N-Now, drive faster. 44 00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:45,522 Oh well, we don't even know where we're going! 45 00:01:45,605 --> 00:01:47,774 We gotta find a safe house, and it can't be a hotel 46 00:01:47,857 --> 00:01:49,442 because credit cards can be tracked. 47 00:01:49,526 --> 00:01:51,653 Well, what about your sister on Long Island? 48 00:01:51,736 --> 00:01:54,072 The one whose daughters all have D names? 49 00:01:54,155 --> 00:01:57,659 I can't lead a killer to my kid sister's house! 50 00:01:57,742 --> 00:01:59,619 I thought her husband was a cop. 51 00:01:59,702 --> 00:02:02,330 - Hello. - Howard? Hey, listen to me. 52 00:02:02,413 --> 00:02:03,957 Um, don't tell anyone, 53 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:06,793 - but in case we, like, disappear… - Uh-huh. 54 00:02:06,876 --> 00:02:09,504 …we went to Charles' sister's in Patchogue. 55 00:02:09,587 --> 00:02:11,131 Also, I need you to go to that bodega 56 00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:13,675 and figure out who's been cashing Dudenoff's checks. 57 00:02:13,758 --> 00:02:15,885 - Okay… - Also, this tech-savvy psycho 58 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:18,471 could be tracking our movements! Turn off your phone! 59 00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:21,057 Oh, you're right. Bye, Howard. Oliver, turn it off. 60 00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:24,435 Okay. Fine. Devastating text, sent. 61 00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:28,481 Okay, Doreen. Here we come. 62 00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:32,819 Now, you want peace? Safety? 63 00:02:32,902 --> 00:02:35,363 A good night's sleep because you know your female loved ones 64 00:02:35,446 --> 00:02:37,615 ain't gonna get punched in the face at Gristedes? 65 00:02:38,783 --> 00:02:41,578 Well, my friend, there's only one county 66 00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:44,205 on God's green earth for you. 67 00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:47,167 The county of Suffolk. 68 00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:49,252 Strong Island, baby! 69 00:02:51,212 --> 00:02:53,715 Of course, uh, no place is perfect. 70 00:02:54,799 --> 00:02:57,969 I should give you a little, uh, heads up about my sister. 71 00:02:58,052 --> 00:03:00,930 Uh, and I don't like saying this about my own flesh and blood, 72 00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:03,600 but she can be, uh, very… 73 00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:05,351 uh, spontaneous? 74 00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:07,437 Ooh, sick burn. 75 00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:21,910 Well, look who finally decided to show up for Thanksgiving. 76 00:03:23,077 --> 00:03:24,621 Too bad it's April. 77 00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:26,331 Come on. 78 00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:29,686 I like your dolls. 79 00:04:29,769 --> 00:04:31,521 Oh, thank you. You know, 80 00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:33,856 the big ones are very hard to come by now. 81 00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,858 Something about the supply chain, but… 82 00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:39,570 Yeah, I started collecting after, uh, Dawn's wedding. 83 00:04:39,654 --> 00:04:42,573 And then, when Dina and Danielle went to DeVry, 84 00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:46,119 and then Dagmar, which is my youngest, still a baby, 85 00:04:46,202 --> 00:04:48,162 she really just left to wound me. 86 00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:52,125 So, I guess you replaced your children with dolls, huh? 87 00:04:55,253 --> 00:04:56,379 Wow. 88 00:04:57,547 --> 00:05:00,383 I have never made that connection. 89 00:05:02,510 --> 00:05:04,178 You are intuitive. 90 00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:06,973 That is much more important in a man than height. 91 00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:09,225 - Thank you. - Mm. 92 00:05:09,767 --> 00:05:11,519 I always wondered what you look like. 93 00:05:11,602 --> 00:05:13,438 You know, I know your voice from the podcast, 94 00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:16,482 but sometimes, I would, uh, slow it down. 95 00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:18,234 I'd deepen your register. 96 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,611 Then, I speed it back up, and you sound like a little frisky chicken. 97 00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:21,696 Ah… 98 00:05:21,779 --> 00:05:24,907 Then slow it down again. And then speed it up. 99 00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:27,076 Then, slow it down. 100 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,203 And then, I speed it back up. 101 00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:31,414 Where's Big Mike? We could use a cop around here. 102 00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:34,375 Well, I kicked him out again. 103 00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:36,294 He's livin' on the boat in the driveway. 104 00:05:36,377 --> 00:05:38,963 One too many nights at Can-Cans. 105 00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:40,715 Uh, 106 00:05:40,798 --> 00:05:44,177 I feel like I'm gonna regret asking this, but what is Can-Cans? 107 00:05:44,260 --> 00:05:46,429 It's Hooters for butts. 108 00:05:46,512 --> 00:05:47,513 I was right. 109 00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:50,099 This is what I married. He's a pig. 110 00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:53,186 Just hoggin' down mozzarelly sticks, surrounded by 111 00:05:53,269 --> 00:05:55,855 random women's mud flaps. 112 00:05:55,938 --> 00:05:57,732 Oh, anyway, more room for you. 113 00:05:57,815 --> 00:05:59,650 And no murderer is ever gonna check here 114 00:05:59,734 --> 00:06:02,028 'cause they know you're not gonna come visit your sister! 115 00:06:02,111 --> 00:06:03,112 Hey. 116 00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:06,741 Oh, what are you gonna do? Inflict another permanent injury on me? 117 00:06:06,824 --> 00:06:09,744 - Doreen, please. - Oh, my God, he's so sensitive. 118 00:06:09,827 --> 00:06:12,747 Pardon me, I'm gonna get you some fresh towels. 119 00:06:12,830 --> 00:06:14,457 If you're gonna stay over, you need towels! 120 00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:16,876 - What are you, one or two? - One. 121 00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:18,294 I thought so. 122 00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:21,464 You're a two-towel guy. I can tell that. You're gonna need it. 123 00:06:21,547 --> 00:06:22,757 I want you dry. 124 00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:26,594 I'm scared. 125 00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:34,769 Alright, Charles, can you catch us up on the plot of… 126 00:06:34,852 --> 00:06:36,562 "Suffolk County"? 127 00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:38,398 It's probably what you would've guessed. 128 00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:40,775 When Doreen was 3, I was pushing her on a swing, 129 00:06:40,858 --> 00:06:42,777 and I pushed her too hard, and she flew off, 130 00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:44,695 and ended up losing her spleen. 131 00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:47,740 I wouldn't say that was exactly what I would've guessed. 132 00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:49,325 - No. - She knows I feel terrible about it, 133 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,536 and she loves spleen-shaming me. 134 00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:55,248 - Maybe this was a mistake. - No, no, no, no, it's quiet here, 135 00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:57,917 so we can work on the case and hopefully not die. 136 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:01,337 Does this gorgeous doll remind you of anyone? 137 00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,172 Braids, porcelain skin, 138 00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:04,632 perky little set of… 139 00:07:04,715 --> 00:07:06,342 Oliver! The case! 140 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,094 You know what? You handle it. 141 00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:10,430 'Cause I'm exhausted 142 00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:12,265 and freshly heartbroken. 143 00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:14,142 Charles? 144 00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:16,269 Mabel, I have to come up with a security plan! 145 00:07:16,352 --> 00:07:18,771 I need to make this place murder-proof… 146 00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:20,898 …and then give law enforcement a, uh, 147 00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:22,775 tactical appraisal of the situation. 148 00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:26,112 You mean talk to the butt-lover in the driveway boat? 149 00:07:26,612 --> 00:07:27,613 Yes. 150 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:29,532 Meanwhile, 151 00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:31,868 towels. You wanted two. There you go. 152 00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:33,911 One towel. 153 00:07:34,370 --> 00:07:36,789 "Can-Cans Wet Bench Night." 154 00:07:36,873 --> 00:07:39,876 Oh, Long Island, you're so… you. 155 00:07:54,348 --> 00:07:55,850 Big Mike? 156 00:07:57,852 --> 00:07:59,353 It's Charles! 157 00:08:03,941 --> 00:08:06,569 I'm borrowing your toolbox. 158 00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:09,030 I found you! Finally! 159 00:08:09,113 --> 00:08:11,282 - I have left you so many messages! - Bev? 160 00:08:11,365 --> 00:08:13,576 It's a good thing Howard knew where you were. So listen, 161 00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:17,038 this is serious. The studio is asking if the Brothers Sisters are the killers. 162 00:08:17,121 --> 00:08:18,789 If they are the killers, I have to fire them. 163 00:08:18,873 --> 00:08:20,833 If they might be, but we can't prove it, 164 00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:23,461 that is a gray area that I can sell. So, what is it? Tell me. 165 00:08:23,544 --> 00:08:26,506 It's definitely not them… I think. 166 00:08:27,131 --> 00:08:29,926 Okay, he says they're not the killers. He's right here. 167 00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:32,011 He seems, like, 60% sure. 168 00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:34,680 That sounds low? 169 00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:36,682 Well, 50% of one margarita was enough 170 00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:38,935 for you to flash your boobs at the Fabelmans premiere. 171 00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:42,271 Bev, this is an emergency safe house situation, so I need your phone. 172 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:43,814 He did see them, Monica! 173 00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:46,692 He saw 100% of both of them! 174 00:08:48,569 --> 00:08:50,530 What? Oh, my God! 175 00:08:52,615 --> 00:08:53,741 Oliver, what are you doing? 176 00:08:53,824 --> 00:08:55,034 Mabel, not now! 177 00:08:55,117 --> 00:08:56,786 I'm busy with an urgent new mystery. 178 00:08:56,869 --> 00:08:59,288 The whereabouts of Johnnie Walker. 179 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:02,375 Well, I'm just trying to find a place to work 180 00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:04,001 that isn't filled with dolls. 181 00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:05,920 - Oh, my God. - I mean, it's so creep… 182 00:09:06,003 --> 00:09:07,338 With that little baby voice… 183 00:09:07,421 --> 00:09:09,340 Is that Bev Melon? 184 00:09:09,423 --> 00:09:11,300 Howard, come on! 185 00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:15,346 Okay. Hey, am I to believe people suffer a life in Patchogue sober? 186 00:09:16,138 --> 00:09:18,849 Ah, of course not. Bar she blows. 187 00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:24,772 - Hey. Okay, I'll call you back, bye. - Bev, what are you doing here? 188 00:09:24,855 --> 00:09:26,899 We're dead. We're all fucking dead, 189 00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,859 that's what I'm doing here. I don't fucking know. 190 00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:31,237 Wh-What do you mean? What happened? Is there someone out there? 191 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,114 No. I wish it was so simple, Mabel. 192 00:09:33,197 --> 00:09:36,033 The studio is talking about 193 00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:37,702 pulling the plug on the movie 194 00:09:37,785 --> 00:09:39,787 because of all the "catastrophes." 195 00:09:39,870 --> 00:09:41,664 I'm stressed, okay? 196 00:09:41,747 --> 00:09:44,166 I gotta figure this out! It's stressful! I'm fucking, like, 197 00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:45,751 losing my shit, okay? 198 00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:48,045 And I'm starving right now! 199 00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:50,047 I'm so hungry. Ugh, that looks gross. 200 00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:52,091 I need something substantial. 201 00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:56,470 You know what? I think I saw pizza crust on the driveway boat, I'll be right back. 202 00:09:58,347 --> 00:09:59,932 What is my life? 203 00:10:06,397 --> 00:10:08,190 - My apologies. I… - Oh, no. 204 00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:10,735 I just had a craving for a Tulsa Torpedo. 205 00:10:10,818 --> 00:10:12,862 - Oh. - I mean, but I see that 206 00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:15,281 you've misplaced your watermelon liqueur. 207 00:10:15,364 --> 00:10:17,908 Oh, why don't I make you one of my signature cocktails? 208 00:10:17,992 --> 00:10:20,286 Okay? Lemme just… Right behind you. If I… 209 00:10:20,369 --> 00:10:23,039 I almost got it. Here we go. 210 00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:25,333 I think you are going to like. 211 00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:28,628 This is mostly entirely vodka and Crystal Light. 212 00:10:28,711 --> 00:10:30,546 You know, I call it a Sweaty Betty. 213 00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:33,966 Named it after my dear friend, also named Betty, 214 00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:36,427 uh, who also happens to sweat like a pig. 215 00:10:36,510 --> 00:10:37,511 Uh-huh… 216 00:10:37,595 --> 00:10:39,889 So… there we go. 217 00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:42,975 And Crystal Light, if you dunk anything in it, 218 00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:44,226 - it's a great exfoliant. - Uh… 219 00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:46,228 - Ah. - A long pour… 220 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:48,314 - Ah… - …for my short king. 221 00:10:48,397 --> 00:10:50,691 - Well, here's to Betty. - Oh, Betty was a whore. 222 00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:52,026 Okay. 223 00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:53,819 Mm… 224 00:10:54,528 --> 00:10:56,447 Can you believe it? 225 00:10:56,530 --> 00:10:57,573 Oh my, that's… 226 00:10:57,657 --> 00:11:00,117 - Mm. I know. - Oh! Th-That is… 227 00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:01,994 Okay… 228 00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:03,621 Now… 229 00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:06,082 …I can't help but notice you seem like something's 230 00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:08,459 maybe bothering you. Is it Charles? 231 00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:11,087 W-Well, no. Uh… Well, 232 00:11:11,712 --> 00:11:13,839 usually yes, but, uh, 233 00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:15,508 uh, this time, it's a breakup. 234 00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:18,678 A relationship done in by my… 235 00:11:18,761 --> 00:11:20,596 one tragic flaw. 236 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,181 Too handsome? 237 00:11:22,264 --> 00:11:24,850 Well, th-there's that, but it's also… 238 00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:26,727 I-I'm simply too… 239 00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:28,688 emotionally available. 240 00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:41,909 Actors? Now what are you doing here? 241 00:11:41,992 --> 00:11:43,911 Howard told us you would be here. 242 00:11:43,994 --> 00:11:45,788 People don't keep secrets from the famous. 243 00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:48,624 What are you doing here? 244 00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,126 Uh, I'm hiding out from the killer. 245 00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:52,920 Oh, so you thought, "Hey, why don't we leave the actors 246 00:11:53,003 --> 00:11:54,463 to die with a psychopath"? 247 00:11:55,089 --> 00:11:57,466 Pretty sure the killer is after us, not you guys. 248 00:11:57,550 --> 00:12:00,469 I would reconsider that. Just a gut feeling. 249 00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,556 I escaped the hospital to come here. 250 00:12:03,639 --> 00:12:06,767 Well, go back to the hospital! And for you guys, 251 00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:09,228 I need some quiet to work on the case, okay? 252 00:12:09,311 --> 00:12:12,022 - I'm sure there's lovely local hotels. - No, no, no, no. 253 00:12:12,106 --> 00:12:15,317 You are contractually responsible for our safety, so we're staying. 254 00:12:16,110 --> 00:12:18,696 Fine! Then pick a doll, amuse yourselves, 255 00:12:18,779 --> 00:12:20,364 and give me your phones. 256 00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:24,869 I mean… 257 00:12:24,952 --> 00:12:28,164 I thought that I wanted a creative counterpart. 258 00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:29,248 Yeah. Yeah. 259 00:12:29,331 --> 00:12:32,418 A Verdon to my Fosse. A Fleetwood to my Mac. 260 00:12:32,501 --> 00:12:33,502 Oh. 261 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:36,464 Maybe what I really want… 262 00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:40,384 is just someone I can hold 263 00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:42,470 and adore, you know? 264 00:12:42,553 --> 00:12:44,263 Like a doll. 265 00:12:44,346 --> 00:12:46,182 - Sure. Sure, like a doll. - Like a doll. 266 00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:49,018 How'd you meet your husband? 267 00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:51,854 You know what, this is… shouldn't be here. 268 00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:55,608 Well, 269 00:12:56,525 --> 00:12:58,027 you know, it was actually… 270 00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:01,614 a pretty classic meet-cute. It was… 271 00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:05,993 inside the port-a-potty at Jones Beach. 272 00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:10,790 Someone should get that 273 00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:12,166 before we have to hear it again. 274 00:13:12,249 --> 00:13:13,959 Alright. Ooh, I'm like a turtle. 275 00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:16,420 - Gimme a little help. There we go. - Oh, lemme help you. There you go. 276 00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:19,590 Okay. Okay. 277 00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:23,052 Oh, Mr. Putman! 278 00:13:24,428 --> 00:13:25,429 Hello… 279 00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:27,681 Oh. Let yourself in. 280 00:13:27,765 --> 00:13:28,974 What on earth? 281 00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:30,768 Hi. 282 00:13:30,851 --> 00:13:34,230 I j… I just got caught in her macramé duster. 283 00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:37,274 Oh, is that what the kids are calling it now? 284 00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:39,735 This one. What a tease, huh? 285 00:13:41,987 --> 00:13:44,448 Loretta, how did you find out… 286 00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:47,243 Howard! Of course, it was Howard. 287 00:13:47,326 --> 00:13:51,121 I called repeatedly, straight to voicemail every time. 288 00:13:51,205 --> 00:13:53,833 So, I got on a six-hour flight, 289 00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:54,917 middle seat, 290 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,253 just so I could ask you why you thought you could… 291 00:13:58,712 --> 00:14:01,090 break up with me over text. 292 00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:02,675 Uh… Loretta… 293 00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:04,677 what are you talking about? 294 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,929 I poured my heart out to you 295 00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:09,557 on the phone, and you went, "Ugh." 296 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:10,766 When did this happen? 297 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,268 - Yesterday. Yes… - No, you didn't. 298 00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:15,354 A-A day that will live in ugh-famy. 299 00:14:16,564 --> 00:14:18,691 What time was it? 300 00:14:18,774 --> 00:14:20,150 I don't know, lunch? 301 00:14:20,234 --> 00:14:22,903 - Devastation o'clock. - Your lunch or my lunch? 302 00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:25,781 I-It was your lunch, my second Cosmo. 303 00:14:31,996 --> 00:14:35,291 Oh, I-I love that my pain is so amusing to you. 304 00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:37,710 That is just so appreciated. 305 00:14:37,793 --> 00:14:40,296 No! Oh, Oliver. 306 00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:42,923 I think you talked to my stand-in. 307 00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:44,592 - What? Sorry, what? - Yeah. 308 00:14:44,675 --> 00:14:47,678 Because I'm wrapped in gauze, and my stand-in is wrapped in gauze, 309 00:14:47,761 --> 00:14:50,514 so I think the-the PA gave my cellphone 310 00:14:50,598 --> 00:14:53,851 to the wrong burn victim. 311 00:14:56,353 --> 00:15:00,232 - I mean… No, no. - So, that wasn't you? 312 00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:03,736 I don't think you're ugh. 313 00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:05,696 I think you're… 314 00:15:08,282 --> 00:15:10,284 What I can say other than… 315 00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:15,789 Oh, Ollie! 316 00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:19,835 - Oh, I missed you. I missed you. - I missed you. I missed you, too. 317 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:23,923 - So… Doreen. - Oh. 318 00:15:24,506 --> 00:15:28,218 Doreen? Well, Doreen is Charles' sister. 319 00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:29,803 Is she someone… 320 00:15:30,679 --> 00:15:32,222 that I should be worried about? 321 00:15:32,306 --> 00:15:35,059 Everyone should be worried about Doreen. 322 00:15:37,436 --> 00:15:38,854 Careful, Upchuck! 323 00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:42,691 Oh, you need me to help you nail your fingers to the house, huh? 324 00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:44,985 These windows won't lock, so I'm trying to nail them shut. 325 00:15:45,069 --> 00:15:46,737 Just trying to keep everybody in one piece. 326 00:15:46,820 --> 00:15:49,490 Well, it's a little late to keep me in one piece. 327 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,827 I asked the doctor if I could give you my spleen, 328 00:15:53,911 --> 00:15:55,746 and he said it wasn't necessary 329 00:15:55,829 --> 00:15:57,539 because spleens aren't necessary. 330 00:15:57,623 --> 00:16:00,542 Oh, come on. I was just razzin' you. 331 00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:02,503 I don't even remember the accident! 332 00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:06,507 You know what I remember? One of my… 333 00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:08,676 probably fondest memories is… 334 00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:11,178 God, I must've been, what, 5? 335 00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,264 Mom was taking me 336 00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:16,350 to see my big brother… 337 00:16:16,433 --> 00:16:18,268 …in one of his first plays. 338 00:16:19,061 --> 00:16:20,562 You were so good. 339 00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:24,149 You were always meant to be Mr. Hollywood someday, huh? 340 00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:30,656 Are you even listening to me? 341 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,951 I'm sorry. I just can't have a conversation right now. 342 00:16:34,034 --> 00:16:35,995 Everyone I know is either dead or in danger 343 00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:38,497 because of me and my stupid podcast, 344 00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:42,376 so I have to keep my attention focused on these nails! 345 00:16:42,459 --> 00:16:45,796 Why are you always mad at me? 346 00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:48,424 I'm not mad at you. 347 00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:50,467 Wait, wait, wait, are you… are you crying? 348 00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:52,011 Oh, please don't cry. 349 00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:53,512 I can cry if I want to! 350 00:16:53,595 --> 00:16:57,433 Just because you, Mr. No-Emotion-Robot-Man, doesn't! 351 00:16:57,516 --> 00:16:59,226 I-I control myself. 352 00:16:59,309 --> 00:17:02,271 Oh, wh-what's that? Implying that I'm crazy? 353 00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:03,981 - I didn't say that. - Don't deny it. 354 00:17:04,064 --> 00:17:05,357 - Well, I didn't say that. - Don't! 355 00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:06,525 I said don't! 356 00:17:06,608 --> 00:17:09,445 Don't deny it! Not do deny it! I said don't deny it! 357 00:17:09,528 --> 00:17:12,239 TikTok calls it gaslighting. 358 00:17:12,322 --> 00:17:14,867 And you're full of gas, and it's an epidemic! 359 00:17:14,950 --> 00:17:17,244 Every man in my life thinks that because I have 360 00:17:17,327 --> 00:17:20,956 just actual and real emotions that I'm crazy! 361 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,584 But, you know what? There's a little man, 362 00:17:23,667 --> 00:17:26,336 a tiny, little man downstairs right now 363 00:17:26,420 --> 00:17:30,257 who appreciates a woman with a nice, big set of emotions. 364 00:17:32,843 --> 00:17:35,679 And be gentle with Jill! She's Victorian. 365 00:17:40,517 --> 00:17:41,518 We're bored. 366 00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:44,688 - Whatcha doing? Checking out the semen? - What? 367 00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:46,774 Where there's murder, there's semen. CSI 101. 368 00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:49,610 We can help, you know. We're not children. 369 00:17:49,693 --> 00:17:52,696 And can you open this snick-snack? My assistant's not here. 370 00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:55,115 Okay, I need to work on the case. 371 00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:57,951 So, um, could you actors maybe run lines 372 00:17:58,035 --> 00:18:00,662 or do Ozempic, whatever you guys do? 373 00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:01,914 Don't wanna interrupt you. 374 00:18:01,997 --> 00:18:05,292 Just need a little nibble. 375 00:18:07,294 --> 00:18:09,296 Eugene? 376 00:18:09,379 --> 00:18:11,673 It's me! Loretta. 377 00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:12,966 Loretta…? 378 00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:14,885 Loretta Durkin. 379 00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:18,680 We did Summer stock together. Saskatoon '82. 380 00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:20,766 Um… 381 00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:24,937 We did that stage adaptation of James Bond's Moonraker. 382 00:18:25,020 --> 00:18:27,773 I mean, I'm trying to place the face, but, uh, 383 00:18:27,856 --> 00:18:29,483 I'm coming up empty. 384 00:18:29,566 --> 00:18:32,111 I was Lieutenant Holly Goodhead. 385 00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:33,695 That was my… 386 00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:36,365 Zach! 387 00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:38,951 I adored you in Baskets. 388 00:18:39,034 --> 00:18:40,911 Why, thank you very… Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. 389 00:18:41,745 --> 00:18:44,873 Sorry, I have a hole inside of me. 390 00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:47,459 Um, nobody's complimented me yet, so… 391 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,630 - Can I talk to you for a minute? - Yeah, sure. 392 00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:57,594 Hey, I'm sorry, it's just the actors wanna help with the case. 393 00:18:57,678 --> 00:18:58,679 - Yeah. - Um, 394 00:18:58,762 --> 00:19:01,515 do you think you can take them out to play or distract them with your keys? 395 00:19:01,598 --> 00:19:05,102 Okay, but I think you're making a big mistake. 396 00:19:05,185 --> 00:19:07,479 Actors are investigators, you know. 397 00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:09,189 Of the human condition. 398 00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:11,650 LA did this to you in two weeks? 399 00:19:12,568 --> 00:19:15,571 Just let them in. Come on. 400 00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:18,866 You never know, it might help. 401 00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:20,784 Bev! 402 00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:23,120 Bev! Okay… Thank God! 403 00:19:23,203 --> 00:19:24,621 I'm gonna need you 404 00:19:24,705 --> 00:19:27,124 to entertain some movie actors. 405 00:19:27,207 --> 00:19:28,876 - You're a sweetie. - Thanks. 406 00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:31,879 I would love to hang with actors! 407 00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:34,631 Where are the "actors"? 408 00:19:34,715 --> 00:19:38,135 Actors, all sitting together, talking about their craft! 409 00:19:38,218 --> 00:19:40,012 Hey, actors! 410 00:19:40,804 --> 00:19:42,264 Fuck you! 411 00:19:42,764 --> 00:19:45,058 Can I, um… You want some drink of water? 412 00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:46,393 Okay, Mom. 413 00:19:46,476 --> 00:19:47,728 Fuck you, TV actor. 414 00:19:47,811 --> 00:19:49,771 You know my work? 415 00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:52,524 "Work"? Let me sum up the quality of your 416 00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:55,027 "acting ability" in one word. 417 00:19:57,654 --> 00:19:58,655 Oh. 418 00:19:58,739 --> 00:20:02,242 I'm sick of this bullshit studio, and the script 419 00:20:02,326 --> 00:20:05,829 with its bullshit plot holes, and all you self-centered actors, 420 00:20:05,913 --> 00:20:07,664 memorizing your lines, 421 00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:10,626 and your little baby set slippers, 422 00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:12,836 eating your special actor's food. 423 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:16,173 I was shot! And I bet it's infected! I am weeping fluid here! 424 00:20:16,256 --> 00:20:19,009 Oh, my God, Zach, cut it out! 425 00:20:19,092 --> 00:20:20,719 All you do is complain. 426 00:20:20,802 --> 00:20:22,721 "I'm a self-centered Greek Smurf," and, 427 00:20:22,804 --> 00:20:26,516 "I-I got hit by a sniper, and now I have a boo-boo!" 428 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,852 I can't take it anymore, bro! 429 00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:33,357 I'm done with Hollywood! 430 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:34,983 - Middle child. - Single mom. 431 00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:37,069 Low thyroid. No, high. High thyroid. 432 00:20:37,152 --> 00:20:38,654 Three for three, fuckers! 433 00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:40,572 See? 434 00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:42,449 Detectives. 435 00:20:44,868 --> 00:20:46,536 Okay, fine. 436 00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:49,581 Actors, let's talk case. 437 00:20:51,708 --> 00:20:53,835 Come on, man. 438 00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:55,754 Look, I just need to see 439 00:20:55,837 --> 00:20:58,715 who is cashing my close personal friend's checks. 440 00:21:01,218 --> 00:21:03,637 - No. - I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that. 441 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:05,597 Please! Please, let me just have a look at that ledger. 442 00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:07,391 Sorry, it's against our policy. 443 00:21:07,474 --> 00:21:10,394 You're a bodega. You barely have a hand-washing policy. 444 00:21:18,902 --> 00:21:20,153 Oh. 445 00:21:22,572 --> 00:21:24,992 You trained a cat to guard your store? 446 00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:27,077 Sí. Gazpacho's tough. 447 00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,246 Well, how would you like for him to be a guest 448 00:21:29,329 --> 00:21:32,582 on the soon-to-be number one animal labor podcast in the country? 449 00:21:35,752 --> 00:21:38,005 Dudenoff! 450 00:21:43,427 --> 00:21:44,928 Another Dudenoff. 451 00:21:45,012 --> 00:21:46,555 These signatures don't match at all. 452 00:21:50,434 --> 00:21:52,311 Mabel, pick up, pick up, pick up, oh, my God. 453 00:21:52,894 --> 00:21:56,315 It all happened the night that Sazz died. 454 00:21:56,398 --> 00:22:00,360 Then the killer texted us, "I'm watching you," so we came here. 455 00:22:00,444 --> 00:22:02,612 There. Now, you know everything we know. 456 00:22:02,696 --> 00:22:05,407 - Okay, great, we'll take it from here. - Oh yeah, you think you got this? 457 00:22:05,490 --> 00:22:07,826 Mabel, you really have no idea 458 00:22:07,909 --> 00:22:11,830 about the breadth of our skill set here. 459 00:22:11,913 --> 00:22:14,458 Only 3% of our time is devoted 460 00:22:15,208 --> 00:22:16,460 to the actual job. 461 00:22:16,543 --> 00:22:19,379 The rest is spent developing talents 462 00:22:19,463 --> 00:22:23,467 that would be helpful in a character's backstory, like, uh… 463 00:22:24,634 --> 00:22:30,265 I don't really cotton to Northern types, y'hear? 464 00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:31,391 You know, dialects. 465 00:22:32,100 --> 00:22:34,019 I can skin a deer. Somebody get me a deer. 466 00:22:34,102 --> 00:22:35,354 I can do card tricks. 467 00:22:38,023 --> 00:22:40,400 You guys are all such treasures, 468 00:22:40,484 --> 00:22:42,444 and I cannot wait to hear what you come up with, 469 00:22:42,527 --> 00:22:44,154 so, um, pick a room. 470 00:22:44,237 --> 00:22:45,864 I'll be in a different one. 471 00:22:49,659 --> 00:22:52,204 Ooh, welcome back, my little… 472 00:22:53,538 --> 00:22:54,873 What? 473 00:22:54,956 --> 00:22:56,291 Surprise! 474 00:22:56,750 --> 00:22:58,668 See what I'm trying out? 475 00:22:58,752 --> 00:23:01,129 To extend our time together a little bit? 476 00:23:01,213 --> 00:23:03,215 See? 'Cause look what I found. 477 00:23:03,298 --> 00:23:04,925 The watermelon liqueur! 478 00:23:05,008 --> 00:23:07,386 Oh, thanks, but I-I'm good. 479 00:23:07,469 --> 00:23:09,179 And I think that's A.1. Sauce. 480 00:23:09,262 --> 00:23:11,598 Oh. Either way. 481 00:23:11,681 --> 00:23:13,016 Oh. 482 00:23:13,767 --> 00:23:15,018 Didn't mean to interrupt. 483 00:23:15,102 --> 00:23:16,478 Loretta, please, interrupt. 484 00:23:16,561 --> 00:23:18,522 Uh, Doreen, uh, if you can… 485 00:23:18,605 --> 00:23:19,856 Yes. 486 00:23:19,940 --> 00:23:22,025 So, we have a long-distance relationship, 487 00:23:22,109 --> 00:23:25,070 so every second together is precious. 488 00:23:25,153 --> 00:23:26,822 Oh. Oh. 489 00:23:27,322 --> 00:23:30,700 Okay, so we're… we're best buds until Heidi… 490 00:23:31,993 --> 00:23:34,746 shows up, and then what am I? I'm dog meat? 491 00:23:35,831 --> 00:23:38,583 You know, I'm just tired of everybody jerkin' me around! 492 00:23:38,667 --> 00:23:40,877 Nobody's jerking anybody around. 493 00:23:40,961 --> 00:23:42,921 Yeah, I think people are jerking! 494 00:23:43,004 --> 00:23:45,006 - Ow! - Doreen! 495 00:23:45,674 --> 00:23:47,384 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 496 00:23:47,467 --> 00:23:50,804 I-I'm being rejected by my husband. I'm being rejected by your boyfriend. 497 00:23:50,887 --> 00:23:52,681 My own brother doesn't wanna talk to me! 498 00:23:52,764 --> 00:23:54,307 I'm… 499 00:23:55,058 --> 00:23:56,768 I put hands on you! 500 00:23:56,852 --> 00:23:58,562 Aw… 501 00:23:58,645 --> 00:24:00,564 - Poor thing. - Oof. 502 00:24:00,647 --> 00:24:02,399 But you can't blame her 503 00:24:02,482 --> 00:24:05,569 for being attracted to Oliver Putnam. You are a magnet. 504 00:24:05,652 --> 00:24:07,320 - Well… - Thanks. 505 00:24:09,698 --> 00:24:11,700 - Mm-hmm. - Mm… 506 00:24:12,284 --> 00:24:13,785 Okay. 507 00:24:16,913 --> 00:24:19,332 - Hey. Uh… - Here we are at the piano again. 508 00:24:19,416 --> 00:24:22,169 I'm just, I'm a little bit jealous 509 00:24:22,252 --> 00:24:25,338 of whatever it was you said to my stand-in yesterday. 510 00:24:26,673 --> 00:24:28,091 On the phone. 511 00:24:28,675 --> 00:24:30,385 Oh, it was just… I just… 512 00:24:31,636 --> 00:24:33,346 I think you had to be there. 513 00:24:33,430 --> 00:24:35,932 Yeah. But, what'd you say? 514 00:24:36,766 --> 00:24:38,393 Well, I-I just, uh… 515 00:24:39,311 --> 00:24:41,313 I just said that when we were at that party in LA, 516 00:24:41,396 --> 00:24:43,106 - you know, in that strange fire pit… - Ah, yeah. 517 00:24:43,190 --> 00:24:45,484 …that, uh, I almost… 518 00:24:45,567 --> 00:24:47,152 proposed to you. 519 00:24:48,737 --> 00:24:50,363 You wh… You what? 520 00:24:50,447 --> 00:24:52,199 Well, it was just a spur-of-the-moment thing. 521 00:24:52,282 --> 00:24:54,326 You know, I mean, you were going to LA, 522 00:24:54,409 --> 00:24:57,621 - a-and I was afraid of losing you. - Oh, yeah. 523 00:24:57,704 --> 00:25:00,040 No, no, I-I don't mean I don't want to. 524 00:25:00,123 --> 00:25:02,709 Loretta, I adore you. I've been… 525 00:25:02,792 --> 00:25:06,254 spinning out of control trying to stay close to you. 526 00:25:06,338 --> 00:25:08,548 I mean, really I… 527 00:25:08,632 --> 00:25:12,344 I even invented a crafty heartland Insta-grammy 528 00:25:12,427 --> 00:25:14,471 j-just to see what you were up to. 529 00:25:15,347 --> 00:25:16,348 A what? 530 00:25:16,431 --> 00:25:18,391 "The only way to be yourself 531 00:25:18,475 --> 00:25:20,977 is to find yourself, yourself." 532 00:25:21,061 --> 00:25:23,188 Oh, my God, you're Ronnie? 533 00:25:24,272 --> 00:25:27,817 - Yeah. I… - Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 534 00:25:27,901 --> 00:25:29,402 I connected with Ronnie. 535 00:25:29,486 --> 00:25:31,446 I-I-I… 536 00:25:32,197 --> 00:25:35,450 took screenshots of her memes. I-I… 537 00:25:35,992 --> 00:25:37,619 I told her things. 538 00:25:37,702 --> 00:25:39,788 - And she appreciated all of them. She… - Oh. 539 00:25:39,871 --> 00:25:43,583 So, you, what, you stalked me, and then you tricked me, 540 00:25:43,667 --> 00:25:46,378 and then you… were going to propose to me, 541 00:25:46,461 --> 00:25:48,171 but only because you were scared, 542 00:25:48,255 --> 00:25:50,757 and then you broke up with me over text? 543 00:25:52,175 --> 00:25:54,970 Well, when you list them all in a row like that… 544 00:25:55,053 --> 00:25:56,721 I need a minute. 545 00:25:57,639 --> 00:25:59,140 Loretta! I… 546 00:26:13,446 --> 00:26:15,448 Oh, goddammit. 547 00:26:22,789 --> 00:26:23,790 Hello. 548 00:26:25,333 --> 00:26:26,334 Uh… 549 00:26:27,252 --> 00:26:30,755 I should… No, I-I want to apologize. 550 00:26:32,090 --> 00:26:34,009 I was outta line before. 551 00:26:34,634 --> 00:26:36,136 Crystal Light got on top of me. 552 00:26:36,219 --> 00:26:38,597 Yeah, well, 553 00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:41,016 we all have our moments. 554 00:26:41,391 --> 00:26:43,768 S-So, um… 555 00:26:45,228 --> 00:26:48,607 seems like things aren't going too well for you and your little man. 556 00:26:50,358 --> 00:26:52,569 I think my little man… 557 00:26:52,652 --> 00:26:54,154 might be crazy. 558 00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:58,283 Okay, what is it with everybody thinking that anyone 559 00:26:58,366 --> 00:27:00,368 who feels is crazy? 560 00:27:00,452 --> 00:27:02,746 I mean, maybe, maybe he's not crazy. 561 00:27:02,829 --> 00:27:04,623 M-Maybe he's just emotional! 562 00:27:04,706 --> 00:27:06,708 You know, and isn't that better than not feeling enough? 563 00:27:06,791 --> 00:27:08,627 I mean, his heart is an open book! 564 00:27:08,710 --> 00:27:11,504 Yeah, maybe you're right. 565 00:27:11,588 --> 00:27:14,924 - Maybe you're right. - Maybe, huh? 566 00:27:15,008 --> 00:27:17,969 What do I know, maybe. Or maybe I'm just a stupid idiot! 567 00:27:18,053 --> 00:27:19,512 Calm down now. 568 00:27:19,596 --> 00:27:21,514 Okay, don't tell me to calm down. 569 00:27:21,598 --> 00:27:23,516 Okay, why don't you go back to Beverly Hills? 570 00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:25,310 Whoa! 571 00:27:25,393 --> 00:27:28,146 Listen, I rent a studio in Burbank. 572 00:27:28,229 --> 00:27:29,856 You know, it's under a Whole Foods. 573 00:27:29,939 --> 00:27:32,942 I don't need you throwing your rich bitch shit in my face. 574 00:27:33,026 --> 00:27:35,028 You need to calm down, really. 575 00:27:35,111 --> 00:27:36,404 You need to get out of my house, 576 00:27:36,488 --> 00:27:38,573 you Hollywood hussy! 577 00:27:39,949 --> 00:27:41,451 What is this? What is… 578 00:27:41,534 --> 00:27:43,620 - Get… Stop resisting! - Whoa! 579 00:27:43,703 --> 00:27:46,122 Stay away from me! No, what are you doing to me? 580 00:27:46,206 --> 00:27:47,749 I don't know why you're eatin' your braids! 581 00:27:47,832 --> 00:27:49,584 - Oh, my God! - Why you eatin' 'em? 582 00:27:49,668 --> 00:27:52,212 Why you eatin' your braids, huh? Oh! 583 00:27:52,295 --> 00:27:54,214 She was in Moonraker. 584 00:27:54,297 --> 00:27:55,590 My pacemaker. 585 00:27:55,674 --> 00:27:56,758 My pacemaker! 586 00:27:56,841 --> 00:27:58,593 - My pacemaker. - I didn't know you had a pacemaker. 587 00:27:58,677 --> 00:28:00,553 Oh, my God. Oh. 588 00:28:00,637 --> 00:28:02,263 Oh, my God, I didn't know! 589 00:28:02,347 --> 00:28:05,016 I didn't know. 590 00:28:06,559 --> 00:28:09,646 I was acting. 591 00:28:09,729 --> 00:28:11,356 - Not very good. - And I took stage combat 592 00:28:11,439 --> 00:28:12,816 with Sensei Brian. 593 00:28:12,899 --> 00:28:14,484 Ha! 594 00:28:14,567 --> 00:28:17,028 Oh, my tooth! 595 00:28:17,112 --> 00:28:18,613 I should stop this! 596 00:28:18,697 --> 00:28:20,657 Who wears a train in their own house? 597 00:28:20,740 --> 00:28:22,200 - Oh God! - No, no, no, I shouldn't! 598 00:28:25,161 --> 00:28:27,789 - Come here, baby! Ah! - My God! 599 00:28:27,872 --> 00:28:29,999 What was in that Crystal Light? Bath salts? 600 00:28:31,418 --> 00:28:32,460 Hey, Doreen! 601 00:28:32,544 --> 00:28:34,170 - Get her off me! - You gotta bridge! 602 00:28:34,254 --> 00:28:36,297 You're gonna have to get your hand in there for a choke hold. 603 00:28:36,381 --> 00:28:37,716 Bridge! Come on, kill! 604 00:28:37,799 --> 00:28:39,342 Whoa, whoa, easy, ladies! 605 00:28:39,426 --> 00:28:40,427 Get off me! Get off me! 606 00:28:40,510 --> 00:28:42,387 No need to fight over me like Loni Anderson and Charo! 607 00:28:42,470 --> 00:28:45,390 - Get off me! - Ow! 608 00:28:45,473 --> 00:28:47,100 Who's the chocolate Swiss Miss… 609 00:28:47,183 --> 00:28:49,352 - Get away, you bitch! - Are you sorry? 610 00:28:49,436 --> 00:28:51,479 I'm sorry you're on me! 611 00:28:53,648 --> 00:28:54,941 I'm sorry, too. 612 00:29:00,697 --> 00:29:03,533 Hey. You know, Doreen, uh… 613 00:29:03,616 --> 00:29:05,076 I'm a little worried about you. 614 00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:06,369 - Is that alright? - Yeah. 615 00:29:06,453 --> 00:29:08,747 I mean, your husband lives in the driveway, 616 00:29:08,830 --> 00:29:10,957 and you're fighting with a TV actress, 617 00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:13,626 and you're, you're stuck on this thing I did 618 00:29:13,710 --> 00:29:15,086 when you were a toddler. 619 00:29:15,170 --> 00:29:17,338 Oh, my God, fuck the spleen. 620 00:29:17,422 --> 00:29:19,090 Come on, I make jokes about it 621 00:29:19,174 --> 00:29:21,384 because it's not a big deal. 622 00:29:22,218 --> 00:29:24,262 It's not funny to me. 623 00:29:24,345 --> 00:29:27,724 I mean, y-you were so little, and I was… I was 19. 624 00:29:28,725 --> 00:29:30,393 And that day at the hospital, 625 00:29:30,477 --> 00:29:34,522 Mom wouldn't stop screaming at me. She never forgave me. 626 00:29:35,190 --> 00:29:37,692 She was bonkers, and y-you know that. 627 00:29:41,029 --> 00:29:43,531 Do you know why I remember going to see your play? 628 00:29:45,366 --> 00:29:48,411 Because Mom held my hand when we walked in. 629 00:29:52,499 --> 00:29:54,000 She held your hand? 630 00:29:55,418 --> 00:29:57,420 - Wow. - I know. 631 00:30:00,089 --> 00:30:02,592 I don't think she had ever done it before. 632 00:30:03,551 --> 00:30:05,553 And I don't ever remember her doing it again. 633 00:30:07,639 --> 00:30:09,641 God, she was so distant. 634 00:30:11,476 --> 00:30:13,311 And then, she was gone. 635 00:30:14,521 --> 00:30:16,314 And you were gone, too. 636 00:30:17,106 --> 00:30:18,608 Now, I'm this. 637 00:30:19,818 --> 00:30:21,736 - I visit. - Every now and then, 638 00:30:21,820 --> 00:30:25,073 but you're never really here, you know? 639 00:30:25,156 --> 00:30:28,159 Then, I heard your podcast and… 640 00:30:28,243 --> 00:30:29,953 heard you yucking it up with all… 641 00:30:30,829 --> 00:30:32,330 all your friends. 642 00:30:32,914 --> 00:30:35,375 The podcast is about our neighbors being murdered. 643 00:30:35,458 --> 00:30:37,460 Yeah, but you made it sound cozy. 644 00:30:39,921 --> 00:30:41,422 Somehow, it made me… 645 00:30:42,465 --> 00:30:44,092 feel even lonelier. 646 00:30:44,175 --> 00:30:45,677 Oh, God. 647 00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:47,762 I'm a needy mess. 648 00:30:49,639 --> 00:30:51,474 Well, I'm-I'm an uptight mess. 649 00:30:52,183 --> 00:30:55,562 - Can we just blame Mom? - Well, she's dead. 650 00:30:55,645 --> 00:30:57,730 It can't hurt. 651 00:31:02,443 --> 00:31:04,195 I think about you a lot. 652 00:31:05,029 --> 00:31:08,324 And I'd like to be better about staying in touch, if it's not too late. 653 00:31:09,826 --> 00:31:12,871 I would like that. I'd like that a lot. 654 00:31:13,538 --> 00:31:15,373 I would, too. 655 00:31:15,748 --> 00:31:18,376 Great news, everybody! Ah! 656 00:31:18,459 --> 00:31:21,629 I just had the best nap. I feel so good. 657 00:31:21,713 --> 00:31:24,799 Everything is so crystal clear to me now. 658 00:31:24,883 --> 00:31:26,384 You know, yelling at those actors 659 00:31:26,467 --> 00:31:30,013 reminded me of why I got into this business in the first place. 660 00:31:30,096 --> 00:31:31,639 It's because no matter what, 661 00:31:31,723 --> 00:31:35,393 I care so much! I realized it. 662 00:31:35,476 --> 00:31:37,395 Movies are my passion! 663 00:31:37,478 --> 00:31:40,231 And I yelled all of that at the head of the studio 664 00:31:40,315 --> 00:31:42,275 in my room for two hours, so guess what, 665 00:31:42,358 --> 00:31:43,735 Charles and leopard lady? 666 00:31:43,818 --> 00:31:46,279 The movie is now 667 00:31:46,362 --> 00:31:47,739 full speed ahead! 668 00:31:47,822 --> 00:31:48,948 Can you believe it? 669 00:31:49,032 --> 00:31:50,366 Back to business. 670 00:31:51,701 --> 00:31:53,119 Hollywood! 671 00:31:53,828 --> 00:31:55,371 Who is that fuckin' woman? 672 00:32:02,295 --> 00:32:05,381 Well, the car comes in a few minutes. 673 00:32:05,465 --> 00:32:07,467 So, to recap, 674 00:32:08,843 --> 00:32:11,763 I fought a woman, and I won. 675 00:32:13,348 --> 00:32:16,351 Also, I discovered you may be crazy. 676 00:32:16,434 --> 00:32:18,645 I-If I'm being honest, 677 00:32:20,271 --> 00:32:22,774 I haven't been in a relationship, 678 00:32:22,857 --> 00:32:24,859 a real one, for a decade. 679 00:32:25,777 --> 00:32:26,861 Maybe two. 680 00:32:28,029 --> 00:32:29,530 So… 681 00:32:30,698 --> 00:32:33,201 when I met you, I-I just… 682 00:32:34,786 --> 00:32:37,413 lost my cool. 683 00:32:37,497 --> 00:32:39,624 And I may never get it back. 684 00:32:40,291 --> 00:32:42,293 But, if, if… 685 00:32:42,669 --> 00:32:44,671 if you can't handle that… 686 00:32:46,047 --> 00:32:48,633 flavor of crazy, no one would blame you. 687 00:32:49,384 --> 00:32:50,385 S… 688 00:32:50,468 --> 00:32:53,972 So, if-if you wanna run, run. 689 00:32:57,266 --> 00:32:58,768 You don't have to sprint. 690 00:33:02,939 --> 00:33:06,818 Oliver, from the moment I met you, I knew, 691 00:33:07,485 --> 00:33:10,863 deep in my heart, that you were a lunatic. 692 00:33:10,947 --> 00:33:12,949 You must have, by my count, 693 00:33:13,032 --> 00:33:15,410 six different stories about 694 00:33:15,493 --> 00:33:17,912 running into Lynda Carter at grocery stores. 695 00:33:17,996 --> 00:33:20,707 Wonder Woman and a wonderful lady. 696 00:33:20,790 --> 00:33:23,418 Well, t-to the, to the point, 697 00:33:23,501 --> 00:33:26,921 despite your obvious pathologies, 698 00:33:27,005 --> 00:33:28,840 I'm here still. 699 00:33:28,923 --> 00:33:31,050 And I'm not going anywhere. 700 00:33:31,134 --> 00:33:33,845 And I sign on to your crazy… 701 00:33:35,054 --> 00:33:36,556 for a lifetime. 702 00:33:41,310 --> 00:33:44,313 You're… giving me a doll's bracelet? 703 00:33:46,858 --> 00:33:49,861 I'm proposing to you, Oliver. 704 00:33:49,944 --> 00:33:52,030 I wanna marry you. 705 00:33:55,116 --> 00:33:57,035 Well, before I accept, 706 00:33:57,118 --> 00:33:58,911 just out of curiosity, 707 00:33:58,995 --> 00:34:01,039 is there any family money? 708 00:34:06,461 --> 00:34:08,087 - I accept. - Oh… 709 00:34:10,882 --> 00:34:12,383 Wake up! 710 00:34:13,176 --> 00:34:15,219 Rise and shine! 711 00:34:16,804 --> 00:34:19,640 I gotta sleep! I have a hangover! 712 00:34:19,724 --> 00:34:22,226 Shut the fuck up! 713 00:34:22,310 --> 00:34:23,686 Thank you. 714 00:34:23,770 --> 00:34:25,646 - Case closed! - Oh, my God! 715 00:34:25,730 --> 00:34:27,565 Okay, wh-what's going on? 716 00:34:27,648 --> 00:34:29,192 Let me direct your attention 717 00:34:29,275 --> 00:34:30,860 to the Murder Wall! 718 00:34:30,943 --> 00:34:33,196 Which is like your murder board, but bigger, 719 00:34:33,279 --> 00:34:34,655 therefore, ours is better. 720 00:34:34,739 --> 00:34:36,657 For starters, w-we agree with you. 721 00:34:36,741 --> 00:34:39,327 Whosever cashing Dudenoff's checks is after you. 722 00:34:39,410 --> 00:34:41,079 But, looking back, 723 00:34:41,162 --> 00:34:43,664 - we believe that this mystery… - Mm-hmm. 724 00:34:43,748 --> 00:34:45,208 …did not start with Sazz's murder. 725 00:34:45,291 --> 00:34:47,668 - No. - No. It all goes back to season one, 726 00:34:47,752 --> 00:34:50,254 which, by the way, has more holes 727 00:34:50,338 --> 00:34:51,839 than Zach Galifianakis. 728 00:34:51,923 --> 00:34:54,383 I mean, th-they're all over the script! 729 00:34:54,467 --> 00:34:57,095 For instance, uh… yeah, who poisoned Winnie? 730 00:34:57,178 --> 00:34:59,388 You thought it was Sting. You know what, it wasn't Sting, 731 00:34:59,472 --> 00:35:00,932 and then, you just dropped it. 732 00:35:01,015 --> 00:35:02,600 Winnie? 733 00:35:03,476 --> 00:35:06,187 Oh, my God. Who would do this to you? 734 00:35:06,270 --> 00:35:07,688 I assumed it was Jan. 735 00:35:07,772 --> 00:35:10,149 Wrong! Look at the note on your door. 736 00:35:13,277 --> 00:35:15,530 "End the podcast or I will end you." See the smudge mark? 737 00:35:15,613 --> 00:35:17,365 That was written by a left-handed person. 738 00:35:17,448 --> 00:35:18,699 How could you know that? 739 00:35:18,783 --> 00:35:21,536 Because I studied handwriting when I played Marc Antonio 740 00:35:21,619 --> 00:35:24,247 in the un-produced pilot The Calligrapher's Wife. 741 00:35:24,330 --> 00:35:26,082 And Jan was not left-handed. 742 00:35:26,165 --> 00:35:28,251 - No. - Look at the way she holds her bassoon. 743 00:35:29,794 --> 00:35:32,338 I shadowed the Boston Pops when I was preparing 744 00:35:32,421 --> 00:35:34,257 for Symphony Chimp. 745 00:35:34,674 --> 00:35:36,467 Plot hole number two. 746 00:35:36,551 --> 00:35:38,761 The note on Jan's door. 747 00:35:40,429 --> 00:35:41,722 "I'm watching you." 748 00:35:42,223 --> 00:35:44,642 Just like the text message. 749 00:35:46,185 --> 00:35:49,313 - It's the… - Same person. Very good, Mabel. 750 00:35:49,397 --> 00:35:52,775 Your murderer has been after you since season one. 751 00:35:56,279 --> 00:35:58,781 And Sazz knew all of that. 752 00:35:59,574 --> 00:36:02,076 Think back to her apartment! Uh… 753 00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:03,870 "Sick pup." That's Winnie! 754 00:36:05,079 --> 00:36:08,082 "Door note." That's the note on Jan's door. 755 00:36:08,166 --> 00:36:11,627 Sazz figured this all out. Maybe that's what she wanted to tell me. 756 00:36:11,711 --> 00:36:14,005 Wow, I… 757 00:36:14,088 --> 00:36:17,383 I stand corrected. I guess I should've brought you guys in sooner. 758 00:36:17,466 --> 00:36:20,553 Thank you. Actors, one. Real-life dipshits, zero. 759 00:36:20,636 --> 00:36:22,847 Yes. Idiots. 760 00:36:27,518 --> 00:36:29,270 Why are you smiling? 761 00:36:30,479 --> 00:36:33,941 Oh, I-I know it's not the right time, but, uh… 762 00:36:35,193 --> 00:36:38,279 this bitch is gettin' married. 763 00:36:42,491 --> 00:36:43,993 You know, not for nothin', 764 00:36:44,076 --> 00:36:46,454 the truth is you can never be totally safe. 765 00:36:47,038 --> 00:36:51,209 The best you can do is find some people who love you, 766 00:36:51,292 --> 00:36:54,921 who'll share a bottle of red, a bottle of white... 767 00:36:55,004 --> 00:36:56,339 Well, okay, this is not a competition. 768 00:36:56,422 --> 00:36:59,467 Hey hey! Look at this! Gang's all here, huh? 769 00:36:59,550 --> 00:37:01,135 Hey, Big Mike. 770 00:37:03,095 --> 00:37:04,889 How was brunch at Can-Cans? 771 00:37:04,972 --> 00:37:06,807 Oh, come on, babe. I just go there 772 00:37:06,891 --> 00:37:09,810 'cause they give cops the dinner menu at lunch prices. 773 00:37:10,645 --> 00:37:12,772 You know I'm not an ass guy. 774 00:37:12,855 --> 00:37:14,148 I'm a you guy. 775 00:37:16,442 --> 00:37:19,070 You have permission to board, and I don't mean the boat. 776 00:37:19,153 --> 00:37:21,072 Mm! 777 00:37:22,448 --> 00:37:24,659 - Captain Jack will get you high tonight. - Oh! 778 00:37:28,079 --> 00:37:29,872 Ooh! 779 00:37:29,956 --> 00:37:32,250 - That's good stuff. - Oh, hey, Chuckie, 780 00:37:32,333 --> 00:37:34,460 uh, your friend Howard's trying to reach you all. 781 00:37:35,294 --> 00:37:36,587 Somehow, he got my number. 782 00:37:36,671 --> 00:37:39,048 He says he knows who killed Dudenoff. 783 00:37:39,131 --> 00:37:41,133 Yeah, yeah, I wrote it down, so I'd get it right. 784 00:37:41,217 --> 00:37:44,053 He wanted me to tell you, uh, 785 00:37:44,136 --> 00:37:46,847 it wasn't just one person cashing his checks. 786 00:37:46,931 --> 00:37:50,017 He found five different signatures with one phone number. 787 00:37:50,101 --> 00:37:51,811 Go forward. Pause. 788 00:37:51,894 --> 00:37:54,021 Go forward, go forward. 789 00:37:56,232 --> 00:37:57,483 Go forward. 790 00:37:58,359 --> 00:37:59,944 Pause right there. 791 00:38:00,027 --> 00:38:01,028 Inez. 792 00:38:01,112 --> 00:38:02,446 Fast forward. 793 00:38:02,738 --> 00:38:05,199 Oh, my God. 794 00:38:05,283 --> 00:38:07,034 Go forward, go forward again. 795 00:38:08,619 --> 00:38:10,079 Rudy? 796 00:38:10,162 --> 00:38:12,164 - Oh, my God! - Oh, my God. 797 00:38:13,207 --> 00:38:14,542 Oh, my God. Qué? 798 00:38:14,625 --> 00:38:16,294 Okay, I'm calling the number. 799 00:38:31,017 --> 00:38:32,727 Hello? 800 00:38:32,810 --> 00:38:34,520 This is Milton Dudenoff. 801 00:38:37,773 --> 00:38:39,400 Uh, whatever a "Westie" is, 802 00:38:40,067 --> 00:38:41,485 Howard says it was all of them. 803 00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:49,702 They know.