1 00:00:07,127 --> 00:00:10,547 Lester likened all the tenants to birds, his favorite hobby. 2 00:00:10,631 --> 00:00:13,509 And you were the cuckoo chick! 3 00:00:13,592 --> 00:00:15,677 The neediest bird of all, a taker. 4 00:00:15,761 --> 00:00:16,845 The taker? 5 00:00:16,929 --> 00:00:18,555 Mabel, what's the first word that comes to mind 6 00:00:18,639 --> 00:00:19,723 when you think of me? 7 00:00:19,806 --> 00:00:22,476 - Oh, narcissist. - What the hell? 8 00:00:22,559 --> 00:00:23,644 Oh, my God. 9 00:00:25,020 --> 00:00:26,104 Mabel Mora? 10 00:00:26,188 --> 00:00:27,439 Althea? 11 00:00:27,523 --> 00:00:30,192 Actually, it's THĒ now. I shortened it, T-H-Ē. 12 00:00:31,652 --> 00:00:33,153 Something's not adding up. 13 00:00:33,237 --> 00:00:35,489 Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to take a little peek. 14 00:00:35,572 --> 00:00:36,740 We're doing an autopsy? 15 00:00:36,823 --> 00:00:39,243 A meat cleaver to the chest. Maybe cocaine? 16 00:00:39,326 --> 00:00:41,078 I got it! Money amounts. 17 00:00:41,161 --> 00:00:42,746 "Brown-headed cowbird." 18 00:00:42,829 --> 00:00:44,540 Maybe these are code names. 19 00:00:44,623 --> 00:00:47,668 There might be a game tonight. We have to go. 20 00:00:47,751 --> 00:00:50,379 Lester and Nicky have both been here. 21 00:00:53,674 --> 00:00:56,551 You're gonna get us killed by a bunch of murderous mobsters. 22 00:00:56,635 --> 00:00:58,470 They're all billionaires. 23 00:00:58,553 --> 00:01:01,807 This isn't the mob. This is the new mob of New York. 24 00:01:07,938 --> 00:01:11,275 How does it feel to be worth a billion dollars? 25 00:01:11,358 --> 00:01:14,152 If I'm honest, not as good as it felt 26 00:01:14,236 --> 00:01:18,782 to win my first hundred dollars on a perfect bluff. 27 00:01:18,865 --> 00:01:23,078 That was the day I fell in love with parlor games, 28 00:01:23,161 --> 00:01:24,454 and with winning. 29 00:01:26,248 --> 00:01:29,585 I was five years old when I first beat my father at chess. 30 00:01:30,586 --> 00:01:33,880 Before that, I thought he was the smartest person in the world. 31 00:01:33,964 --> 00:01:38,343 Broke my heart to learn that I was, 32 00:01:38,427 --> 00:01:41,138 that no one would beat me for the rest of my life. 33 00:01:42,139 --> 00:01:43,390 What fun is that? 34 00:01:44,391 --> 00:01:47,019 The problem for most rich people is that there's no amount of money 35 00:01:47,102 --> 00:01:48,645 that can make 'em stop wanting more. 36 00:01:48,729 --> 00:01:51,481 Money's a game, and they love to win. 37 00:01:51,565 --> 00:01:54,526 I know people see me as a rich guy, but I barely even think about money, 38 00:01:54,609 --> 00:01:56,028 which is why I'm so normal. 39 00:01:57,237 --> 00:01:58,905 Alright, good. 40 00:01:58,989 --> 00:02:01,199 Take that. Throw the ball. 41 00:02:01,283 --> 00:02:02,659 Go get it. 42 00:02:04,119 --> 00:02:05,871 It's great getting out with the pup. 43 00:02:05,954 --> 00:02:07,956 He can't find it. Go get it. 44 00:02:19,885 --> 00:02:22,304 Not a typical Saturday night. 45 00:02:22,387 --> 00:02:25,390 I think our days of typical nights here are behind us. 46 00:02:25,474 --> 00:02:26,558 Let's be fast about this. 47 00:02:26,642 --> 00:02:28,226 Are we going to talk about… 48 00:02:29,936 --> 00:02:32,105 - What was that? - Maybe a rat? 49 00:02:39,946 --> 00:02:41,156 Who's in here? 50 00:02:49,790 --> 00:02:52,084 Why are the richest people in the world in our basement? 51 00:02:52,167 --> 00:02:54,044 And did they kill our doorman? 52 00:02:54,127 --> 00:02:55,462 Find out next season on… 53 00:02:55,545 --> 00:02:57,547 Oh, I'm taking a panorama. 54 00:03:56,648 --> 00:03:59,609 Jay Pflug has a bandaged nub, and we have a finger. 55 00:03:59,693 --> 00:04:03,488 I don't think it's a huge leap to assume that our finger goes on his nub. 56 00:04:03,572 --> 00:04:06,783 Oh, he's definitely a suspect. At the least, he was involved. 57 00:04:06,867 --> 00:04:09,035 Maybe the cleaver that was in Nicky's chest 58 00:04:09,119 --> 00:04:10,537 also chopped off Jay's finger. 59 00:04:10,620 --> 00:04:12,289 And Lester was down there. Maybe he saw something 60 00:04:12,372 --> 00:04:13,832 - he shouldn't have. - Hello. 61 00:04:15,625 --> 00:04:16,835 What the hell? 62 00:04:16,918 --> 00:04:18,336 I'm LESTR. 63 00:04:18,420 --> 00:04:21,465 Aw, look how moved everyone is. 64 00:04:21,548 --> 00:04:23,216 Meet our new doorman. We named him 65 00:04:23,300 --> 00:04:25,093 after the dead one, in tribute. 66 00:04:25,177 --> 00:04:27,429 L-E-S-T-R. 67 00:04:27,512 --> 00:04:31,141 Logic Engineered Secure Tenant Robot. 68 00:04:31,224 --> 00:04:32,976 Those words don't even make sense together. 69 00:04:33,059 --> 00:04:35,228 They're trying to trick us into thinking it's a tribute 70 00:04:35,312 --> 00:04:38,023 - instead of the rise of the machine. - That's true. 71 00:04:38,106 --> 00:04:41,318 My greatest challenge is my unsettling effect on humans. 72 00:04:41,401 --> 00:04:44,571 Well, I've seen The Terminator, so I'm on Team Machine. 73 00:04:44,654 --> 00:04:48,158 As the keeper of the building's secrets, the board hired me to train LESTR. 74 00:04:48,241 --> 00:04:51,244 This is so sad. A robot doorman. 75 00:04:51,328 --> 00:04:53,663 The beginning of the end of old New York. 76 00:04:53,747 --> 00:04:55,290 No! 77 00:04:55,373 --> 00:04:59,920 See, the machine will just handle things like deliveries or reminders. 78 00:05:00,003 --> 00:05:02,005 Thanks to the union… my union… 79 00:05:02,088 --> 00:05:04,382 there will always be a human face at the door. 80 00:05:04,466 --> 00:05:07,427 Just, hopefully this human. 81 00:05:07,511 --> 00:05:10,138 He's right. We couldn't get rid of him. 82 00:05:10,222 --> 00:05:13,850 I just need to scan everyone's iris and fingerprint. 83 00:05:13,934 --> 00:05:16,770 That thing's not getting anywhere near my irises. 84 00:05:16,853 --> 00:05:19,439 Alright, I'm gonna get my hair done. 85 00:05:19,523 --> 00:05:22,108 God knows why, since nobody ever notices. 86 00:05:23,985 --> 00:05:27,989 What's happening to our sweet little murder building? 87 00:05:29,241 --> 00:05:31,576 Yeah. Things are changing fast. 88 00:05:34,037 --> 00:05:36,540 - Are you doing toe raises? - Yeah, I do toe raises. 89 00:05:36,623 --> 00:05:38,208 I've never seen you do a toe raise. 90 00:05:38,291 --> 00:05:40,669 Have you ever seen me brush my teeth? I do that too. 91 00:05:48,969 --> 00:05:50,971 I took Winnie's doggy Ritalin, stayed up all night, 92 00:05:51,054 --> 00:05:54,140 - and basically solved this. - You two are a lot for me today. 93 00:05:54,224 --> 00:05:55,642 - Vince. - What are you doing here? 94 00:05:55,725 --> 00:05:57,602 And look at you with two eyes. 95 00:05:57,686 --> 00:06:00,772 Hiya, guys. Lester and I were birding buddies. 96 00:06:00,856 --> 00:06:03,400 So, Oliver invited me up here to decode the ledger, 97 00:06:03,483 --> 00:06:05,569 figure out which one of the birds was playing cards 98 00:06:05,652 --> 00:06:07,904 - on the night that he died. - You birded with Lester? 99 00:06:07,988 --> 00:06:09,447 Well, he was the expert, 100 00:06:09,531 --> 00:06:11,408 I just followed along to keep him honest. 101 00:06:11,491 --> 00:06:15,161 He had a knack for turning a robin into a bushtit… 102 00:06:15,245 --> 00:06:16,830 …if you know what I mean. 103 00:06:16,913 --> 00:06:18,456 No one has any idea what you mean. 104 00:06:18,540 --> 00:06:20,041 Well, he was an optimist. 105 00:06:20,125 --> 00:06:23,044 Very good at life, but not so at birding. 106 00:06:23,128 --> 00:06:26,256 But I miss him. I miss our days in the park. 107 00:06:26,339 --> 00:06:27,549 Sit, sit. 108 00:06:28,592 --> 00:06:29,926 Okay. 109 00:06:31,553 --> 00:06:32,888 Oh-ho, wow! 110 00:06:32,971 --> 00:06:36,474 An Oliver Putnam murder board. Love the sari. 111 00:06:36,558 --> 00:06:39,311 Yeah, from my '70s Rajneesh days. 112 00:06:39,394 --> 00:06:41,062 Please let that be a hash stain. 113 00:06:41,146 --> 00:06:44,107 That's a lot of work. Oliver, what happened to you? 114 00:06:44,190 --> 00:06:46,401 Well, I thought about what you said to me the other day 115 00:06:46,484 --> 00:06:48,695 when you complimented me. What'd you call me? 116 00:06:48,778 --> 00:06:51,531 - Self-centered narcissist. - Yes, that… that was it. 117 00:06:51,615 --> 00:06:53,533 Anyway, I heard it. 118 00:06:53,617 --> 00:06:57,120 So, last night, as I lay there thinking about myself… 119 00:06:58,204 --> 00:06:59,873 the strangest thing happened. 120 00:06:59,956 --> 00:07:01,583 I suddenly thought about you 121 00:07:01,666 --> 00:07:04,169 and how you always make the murder boards. 122 00:07:04,252 --> 00:07:07,589 So, I thought to myself, I'll do it, for you. 123 00:07:07,672 --> 00:07:09,215 Bravo, Oliver. Bravo. 124 00:07:09,299 --> 00:07:11,134 - What growth. - Okay. 125 00:07:11,217 --> 00:07:12,719 We did solve one mystery: 126 00:07:12,802 --> 00:07:15,347 why Lester wrote down the player's names 127 00:07:15,430 --> 00:07:17,474 using a secret bird code. 128 00:07:17,557 --> 00:07:19,184 They're the most powerful people in the world. 129 00:07:19,267 --> 00:07:21,102 He was scared of them. 130 00:07:21,186 --> 00:07:24,731 Somebody be recordin', because I am about to get birdie with it. 131 00:07:24,814 --> 00:07:26,650 Per Lester's notes, 132 00:07:26,733 --> 00:07:30,695 the gaming parlor usually hosted a whole flock of birds. 133 00:07:30,779 --> 00:07:32,489 But last Saturday, 134 00:07:32,572 --> 00:07:33,615 there were only five. 135 00:07:33,698 --> 00:07:36,242 Now, first, Nicky. 136 00:07:36,326 --> 00:07:38,370 He is the Brown-headed cowbird, 137 00:07:38,453 --> 00:07:42,666 known for their mafia-like retaliatory behavior. 138 00:07:44,793 --> 00:07:46,419 Oof! Okay, 'kay, 'kay, 139 00:07:46,503 --> 00:07:47,754 you don't have to do the calls. 140 00:07:47,837 --> 00:07:49,547 Well, it sounds like a mobster, doesn't it? 141 00:07:49,631 --> 00:07:53,218 Next, Jay Pflug, heir to the Pflug fortune, 142 00:07:53,301 --> 00:07:56,971 maker of Pflug faucets, which gave everybody lead poisoning. 143 00:07:57,055 --> 00:07:59,265 So, they founded Pflug Pharma, 144 00:07:59,349 --> 00:08:02,644 which invented a medicine to cure lead poisoning. 145 00:08:02,727 --> 00:08:04,229 Made billions. 146 00:08:04,312 --> 00:08:07,941 He branded himself as, uh, this black sheep philanthropist, 147 00:08:08,024 --> 00:08:09,984 but the guy is a monster. 148 00:08:10,068 --> 00:08:13,279 His last nonprofit funneled money to guerrilla groups. 149 00:08:13,363 --> 00:08:15,198 The terrorists, not the primates. 150 00:08:15,281 --> 00:08:16,616 L-Let's… let's keep it on birds. 151 00:08:16,700 --> 00:08:19,035 He's the Eurasian Jay. 152 00:08:23,039 --> 00:08:24,165 I, too, get my bird on. 153 00:08:24,249 --> 00:08:26,876 Okay, lotta new colors on you. 154 00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:31,756 Anyway, since the Jay bird is missing a claw… 155 00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:33,800 No, I'm sorry, I'm done. 156 00:08:33,883 --> 00:08:35,760 He's missing a finger, so, it's obviously… 157 00:08:35,844 --> 00:08:37,971 No, no, no. We're not done. 158 00:08:38,054 --> 00:08:39,180 Bash Steed. 159 00:08:39,931 --> 00:08:42,308 AI genius, longevity freak. 160 00:08:42,392 --> 00:08:44,936 Way older than he looks, but no one knows how old 161 00:08:45,019 --> 00:08:46,312 because he owns the internet. 162 00:08:46,396 --> 00:08:48,356 Now, I have to find out how old he is. 163 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:50,650 He is the kākāpō. 164 00:08:53,111 --> 00:08:56,698 They are known to live up to 90 years in the wild. 165 00:08:56,781 --> 00:08:59,117 And finally, Camila White. 166 00:09:00,118 --> 00:09:02,495 Lifestyle queen, hotel magnate, 167 00:09:02,579 --> 00:09:04,372 duchess of cashmere. 168 00:09:04,456 --> 00:09:07,584 You can buy a candle that smells like the inside of her nose. 169 00:09:07,667 --> 00:09:09,961 She is the queen of decor. 170 00:09:10,045 --> 00:09:13,798 The bowerbird, maker of beautiful nests. 171 00:09:17,761 --> 00:09:22,515 Okay, anyways, there's a finger in Charles's freezer 172 00:09:22,599 --> 00:09:24,726 and we have a suspect missing a finger. 173 00:09:24,809 --> 00:09:27,937 So, how do we get to Jay? 174 00:09:30,273 --> 00:09:33,068 - We let him know we're onto him. - Ahh. 175 00:09:33,985 --> 00:09:34,986 Yes. 176 00:09:35,070 --> 00:09:37,489 And while we here at Only Murders in the Building 177 00:09:37,572 --> 00:09:39,949 aren't pointing fingers just yet… 178 00:09:40,033 --> 00:09:44,120 …we're wading into the dangerous waters of both old mob and new. 179 00:09:44,204 --> 00:09:45,789 Uber rich powerbrokers 180 00:09:45,872 --> 00:09:47,874 who don't have to break an arm to get what they want. 181 00:09:47,957 --> 00:09:49,459 They just write a check. 182 00:09:49,542 --> 00:09:51,086 No one writes checks anymore. 183 00:09:51,169 --> 00:09:54,589 We already have some ideas about who has a partial hand 184 00:09:54,672 --> 00:09:57,717 in these two deaths, so don't miss season five. 185 00:09:57,801 --> 00:09:59,094 This is so good. 186 00:09:59,177 --> 00:10:00,678 Oh, we're definitely gonna hear from him. 187 00:10:00,762 --> 00:10:02,138 He'll wanna defend himself. 188 00:10:02,222 --> 00:10:03,848 Post, young one! 189 00:10:03,932 --> 00:10:06,226 I do wish we'd worked in the word "phalange." 190 00:10:06,309 --> 00:10:10,105 Okay, for the last time, Charles, phalange-thropist is not a good pun. 191 00:10:10,188 --> 00:10:11,481 That's funny. 192 00:10:11,564 --> 00:10:13,650 - To you. - Mm. 193 00:10:21,825 --> 00:10:23,076 Oh, my God, hi! 194 00:10:23,159 --> 00:10:24,869 Althea… THE. 195 00:10:24,953 --> 00:10:26,496 Um, this is Oliver. 196 00:10:26,579 --> 00:10:29,916 - Oh, hello. How are you? - Hi. Cute pillows. 197 00:10:29,999 --> 00:10:32,669 Yes, I'm bequeathing them to young Mabel for her new apartment. 198 00:10:32,752 --> 00:10:34,838 That is so kind of you. 199 00:10:34,921 --> 00:10:39,759 I mean, I could buy myself pillows, it's just, these are vintage Missoni. 200 00:10:39,843 --> 00:10:41,970 THĒ! Hi! 201 00:10:42,053 --> 00:10:44,097 Howard Morris. 202 00:10:45,223 --> 00:10:46,432 That's THĒ. 203 00:10:46,516 --> 00:10:48,017 - Uh, hello, Howard. - Hi. 204 00:10:48,101 --> 00:10:50,770 THĒ is the number one most downloaded artist… 205 00:10:50,854 --> 00:10:52,522 …for 13 weeks in a row. 206 00:10:52,605 --> 00:10:54,023 Here's her current hit. 207 00:11:00,029 --> 00:11:02,407 Glamorous! Okay. 208 00:11:02,490 --> 00:11:04,117 Oh, my God, stop it! 209 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:06,619 Wait, why did it stop? 210 00:11:07,370 --> 00:11:08,913 Oh, I'm just… I'm just kidding. 211 00:11:08,997 --> 00:11:12,250 Anyway, Mabel, how are you? How's your little podcast going? 212 00:11:12,333 --> 00:11:16,004 Great. We dropped our season five teaser a few days ago. 213 00:11:16,087 --> 00:11:18,173 Their listens are 24% lower 214 00:11:18,256 --> 00:11:20,049 than their season four teaser. 215 00:11:20,133 --> 00:11:24,262 Oh, did you all hear the new podcast Drunk Sluts Do Murder? 216 00:11:24,345 --> 00:11:26,389 Oh, my God, yes. I love the sluts. 217 00:11:26,472 --> 00:11:28,600 - Do people say "slut" again? - Sluts do. 218 00:11:28,683 --> 00:11:30,768 Did you hear the one where they play strip beer pong 219 00:11:30,852 --> 00:11:32,729 - with the forensics expert? - Beyond. 220 00:11:32,812 --> 00:11:34,480 Drunk Sluts Do Murder 221 00:11:34,564 --> 00:11:36,441 are ranked 19 spots higher than Only Murders… 222 00:11:36,524 --> 00:11:38,651 No. No, don't feel bad. 223 00:11:38,735 --> 00:11:40,570 Don't feel bad. It's just 'cause Wondify is, like, 224 00:11:40,653 --> 00:11:42,447 shoving the sluts down our throats, you know? 225 00:11:42,530 --> 00:11:45,533 It's so hard to get noticed when you're indie, right? 226 00:11:46,284 --> 00:11:49,078 We actually just signed a huge deal at Wondify. 227 00:11:49,162 --> 00:11:52,165 So, be prepared to have us down your throats, too. 228 00:11:52,248 --> 00:11:53,917 We did? 229 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,960 I mean, I… I still can't believe it. 230 00:11:56,044 --> 00:11:59,047 That is amazing! Oh my God, so you know what you need? 231 00:11:59,130 --> 00:12:00,965 You need my publicist. He's so intuitive. 232 00:12:01,049 --> 00:12:03,384 He's psychic, and he's a hired assassin. 233 00:12:03,468 --> 00:12:05,720 But you did not hear that from me, okay? 234 00:12:05,803 --> 00:12:07,347 Bye, Howard! Bye, robot. 235 00:12:07,430 --> 00:12:08,681 - Bye, girl! - Bye, girl. 236 00:12:13,937 --> 00:12:17,065 So, I lied, but maybe that's not a bad thing, 237 00:12:17,148 --> 00:12:20,318 because now I'm sending in this kick-ass pitch, 238 00:12:20,401 --> 00:12:22,779 and they'll offer us a podcast deal, right? 239 00:12:22,862 --> 00:12:24,948 I mean, there's already a movie about us, 240 00:12:25,031 --> 00:12:27,825 and I… I'm, you know, just shocked 241 00:12:27,909 --> 00:12:30,995 that they haven't come to us already, you know? 242 00:12:31,079 --> 00:12:33,248 Mabel, why did you do this? 243 00:12:34,332 --> 00:12:36,084 Okay, fine. 244 00:12:36,167 --> 00:12:40,088 Althea and I were each other's only friend in middle school. 245 00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:43,091 I trusted her with everything. 246 00:12:43,174 --> 00:12:45,218 And we'd make these stupid little videos 247 00:12:45,301 --> 00:12:48,137 where we'd play these characters, Sunny and Cloudy. 248 00:12:48,221 --> 00:12:51,349 Sunny was optimistic. Cloudy was, well, cloudy. 249 00:12:51,432 --> 00:12:53,726 - And you were Cloudy. - No, I was Sunny. 250 00:12:53,810 --> 00:12:55,520 Oh, so that's the joke. 251 00:12:55,603 --> 00:12:58,147 - What do you mean? - Uh, just continue. 252 00:12:59,232 --> 00:13:01,943 Anyway, then when Zoe died… 253 00:13:02,026 --> 00:13:05,029 Zoe… is a familiar name. 254 00:13:05,113 --> 00:13:08,199 Oliver, Mabel's friend. The roof. 255 00:13:08,283 --> 00:13:10,201 Oh, from season one! 256 00:13:10,285 --> 00:13:11,911 Oh, my God, that was so sad. 257 00:13:11,995 --> 00:13:15,206 Yeah, well, I… I wasn't doing that great. 258 00:13:15,290 --> 00:13:19,168 I stayed here for the summer and depressed. 259 00:13:20,003 --> 00:13:23,423 And then, when I went home, Althea had completely changed. 260 00:13:23,506 --> 00:13:27,010 She had made all new friends and turned everyone against me. 261 00:13:27,093 --> 00:13:30,805 I kind of spiraled and spent the rest of high school 262 00:13:30,888 --> 00:13:32,473 in my room with Tumblr. 263 00:13:32,557 --> 00:13:34,100 That's a pornography site. 264 00:13:34,183 --> 00:13:36,311 Not anymore. They ruined it. 265 00:13:36,394 --> 00:13:41,024 Well, now, the person who has turned me off having friends… 266 00:13:41,107 --> 00:13:42,900 …is here at number one 267 00:13:42,984 --> 00:13:45,194 while we are 32, and… 268 00:13:46,237 --> 00:13:49,532 Um, are my old-men friends texting while I trauma dump? 269 00:13:49,615 --> 00:13:52,076 Jay Pflug just sent us a video. 270 00:13:53,619 --> 00:13:55,705 Hey, podcasters, heard your teaser. 271 00:13:55,788 --> 00:13:59,542 Sounds like you have some thoughts. I'll be by at 7:00 to clear things up. 272 00:13:59,625 --> 00:14:02,086 Oh, shit. 273 00:14:02,170 --> 00:14:04,589 Om… 274 00:14:04,672 --> 00:14:07,508 A billionaire is coming to dinner. 275 00:14:14,015 --> 00:14:17,018 Champagne, caviar, Godiva. 276 00:14:17,101 --> 00:14:19,187 This is what you're serving a billionaire for dinner? 277 00:14:19,270 --> 00:14:20,938 No, no, no, we don't serve dinner. 278 00:14:21,022 --> 00:14:23,316 We serve salty sweets to make him thirsty, 279 00:14:23,399 --> 00:14:25,401 then offer him nothing to drink but bubbly. 280 00:14:25,485 --> 00:14:27,987 He'll get blackout and tell us everything. This is my way. 281 00:14:28,071 --> 00:14:32,617 Yes, let's get a possible murderer hangry and drunk. Great plan. 282 00:14:32,700 --> 00:14:35,119 If you invite someone over at 7:00, you have to serve 'em dinner. 283 00:14:35,203 --> 00:14:38,039 It's a rule of society. And that's why I brought… 284 00:14:39,457 --> 00:14:41,250 What is that, the Magna Carta? 285 00:14:41,334 --> 00:14:44,003 No, it's my great-gran's recipe for duck à l'orange. 286 00:14:44,087 --> 00:14:45,797 It's a billionaire's delight. 287 00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:48,633 Charles, no one needs your 17th-century old lady food 288 00:14:48,716 --> 00:14:50,384 and outdated social rules. 289 00:14:50,468 --> 00:14:53,054 Do you know how many billionaires I've entertained here? 290 00:14:54,055 --> 00:14:56,891 Well, technically none, but plenty of millionaires, 291 00:14:56,974 --> 00:14:58,726 which were the billionaires of the '80s. 292 00:14:58,810 --> 00:15:01,729 Alright, we are interrogating, not entertaining. 293 00:15:01,813 --> 00:15:03,314 Ah, yeah, but you need one for the other. 294 00:15:03,397 --> 00:15:05,274 This is one of the richest people on Earth. 295 00:15:05,358 --> 00:15:07,860 He wants courses. Many, many courses. 296 00:15:07,944 --> 00:15:10,446 - Etiquette is not dead. - I think etiquette died 297 00:15:10,530 --> 00:15:12,657 four months after the internet was invented, 298 00:15:12,740 --> 00:15:15,910 and that guy's head went into an elephant's ass. 299 00:15:15,993 --> 00:15:17,787 Ah, well. 300 00:15:17,870 --> 00:15:19,497 He's early. He's an early bird. 301 00:15:19,580 --> 00:15:20,915 Okay, okay. 302 00:15:23,876 --> 00:15:25,461 Oh, Jay, welcome. Come in. 303 00:15:25,545 --> 00:15:27,004 I come bearing gifts. 304 00:15:27,088 --> 00:15:28,381 - Ah. - Never show up empty-handed. 305 00:15:28,464 --> 00:15:30,758 Though, I'm a little handicapped, if you don't mind grabbing that. 306 00:15:30,842 --> 00:15:33,761 Oh-ho. Beer, how generous. 307 00:15:35,263 --> 00:15:38,891 Ah, stoked to meet you all. 308 00:15:39,767 --> 00:15:42,979 One of the reasons why I play cards here is because it's the murder building, 309 00:15:43,062 --> 00:15:45,690 and that is all because of you. 310 00:15:45,773 --> 00:15:48,234 Well, we give a lot of credit to the murderers. 311 00:15:48,317 --> 00:15:52,238 Say, so, uh, what has you playing cards in our famous Velvet Room? 312 00:15:52,321 --> 00:15:55,158 You know, I started a few months ago… 313 00:16:00,246 --> 00:16:03,207 Man, I knew I was being followed. 314 00:16:06,169 --> 00:16:08,629 Good evening. Camila White. 315 00:16:11,883 --> 00:16:15,261 Oh, isn't this an assaulting amount of everything? 316 00:16:17,346 --> 00:16:18,347 Better. 317 00:16:22,768 --> 00:16:24,228 Oh, my goodness. 318 00:16:24,312 --> 00:16:26,856 Jay, is that you? 319 00:16:26,939 --> 00:16:29,609 - I had no idea you'd be here. - Mm-hmm. 320 00:16:29,692 --> 00:16:31,861 Well, I heard the podcast, and it seemed like these people 321 00:16:31,944 --> 00:16:34,030 thought you were involved in the mob killing. 322 00:16:34,113 --> 00:16:37,491 Camila White, charmed. Camila White. 323 00:16:37,575 --> 00:16:40,828 Oh, dear God. A plum plaid. 324 00:16:42,496 --> 00:16:45,082 So, I'm here to clear Jay's name. 325 00:16:45,166 --> 00:16:47,376 Fuck off, Camila, I'm here to clear my name. 326 00:16:47,460 --> 00:16:49,253 You were worried about what I'd say about you. 327 00:16:49,337 --> 00:16:51,631 That is certainly not true, 328 00:16:51,714 --> 00:16:55,426 and I don't like the ugly use of words that end in hard Ks. 329 00:16:55,509 --> 00:16:57,053 Shall we begin again? 330 00:16:57,136 --> 00:16:58,971 Softer consonants? 331 00:17:00,056 --> 00:17:01,974 Our host brought four chocolates. 332 00:17:04,185 --> 00:17:06,854 Hello. Sebastian Steed. 333 00:17:08,522 --> 00:17:11,108 No… I'd invite you in if I had more chocolates. 334 00:17:14,195 --> 00:17:16,822 Oh, my God. You're spying on us. 335 00:17:16,906 --> 00:17:18,407 Of course he is, he owns the internet. 336 00:17:19,408 --> 00:17:20,952 Just stopping by for a drink, Bash? 337 00:17:21,035 --> 00:17:24,455 No. I'm here because they're investigating you. 338 00:17:24,538 --> 00:17:26,332 Naturally, I've been having you followed. 339 00:17:26,415 --> 00:17:28,417 I knew you'd try to pin it on me. 340 00:17:28,501 --> 00:17:31,170 Thanks for your robot-like honesty. 341 00:17:31,254 --> 00:17:32,380 You're welcome. 342 00:17:36,259 --> 00:17:38,928 Well, we're really having a party here. 343 00:17:39,011 --> 00:17:40,263 Please, have a seat. 344 00:17:40,346 --> 00:17:41,347 Whoo! 345 00:17:45,226 --> 00:17:46,769 Who needs champagne? 346 00:17:48,729 --> 00:17:50,398 Oh, I'll have a '97 Bordeaux. 347 00:17:51,566 --> 00:17:53,276 - I don't think I have that. - Oh, truly, 348 00:17:53,359 --> 00:17:56,237 any '97 Bordeaux will do. 349 00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:58,781 I don't have any '97 Bordeaux. 350 00:18:00,741 --> 00:18:05,288 So, I'm noticing three of the richest people in the world 351 00:18:05,371 --> 00:18:07,290 are here in our little building. 352 00:18:07,373 --> 00:18:09,041 I'm top three, they're top 20. 353 00:18:09,125 --> 00:18:11,127 Sebastian, on many lists I'm four. 354 00:18:11,210 --> 00:18:14,297 Uh, the point is that you all seem a little nervous 355 00:18:14,380 --> 00:18:17,216 about what our little investigation has uncovered. 356 00:18:17,300 --> 00:18:18,884 No one's nervous. 357 00:18:18,968 --> 00:18:21,804 We're all here for one reason. Yeah? 358 00:18:21,887 --> 00:18:24,140 Yes. To give you the opportunity 359 00:18:24,223 --> 00:18:27,393 to keep us out of your podcast before we sue you for libel. 360 00:18:29,353 --> 00:18:31,397 Libel, wow. 361 00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:34,525 Let's… let's just turn down the temp a tad, 362 00:18:34,609 --> 00:18:36,736 and, uh, let's nibble some caviar… 363 00:18:38,613 --> 00:18:39,614 Oh. 364 00:18:39,697 --> 00:18:41,115 Oops. I'm so sorry. 365 00:18:41,699 --> 00:18:43,492 There really wasn't very much. 366 00:18:43,576 --> 00:18:47,246 It's not libel to say we found you sniffing around a murder scene. 367 00:18:48,831 --> 00:18:50,666 What do you mean? 368 00:18:50,750 --> 00:18:52,418 The news said that the body was found 369 00:18:52,501 --> 00:18:54,879 hanging from a rack in his own dry cleaners? 370 00:18:54,962 --> 00:18:57,965 Yes, I… I don't know why you're even looking into this. 371 00:18:58,049 --> 00:19:01,218 I mean, my people say you do murders in the building. 372 00:19:01,302 --> 00:19:03,888 It's an odd business model, this "in the building" rule. 373 00:19:03,971 --> 00:19:06,682 Your metrics would improve with a wider net. 374 00:19:06,766 --> 00:19:09,310 Bash, always be talking metrics. 375 00:19:09,393 --> 00:19:11,437 Well, the dry cleaners is on the street level, 376 00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:13,773 so technically, it is "of" the building. 377 00:19:13,856 --> 00:19:17,068 Listen, nobody wants to sue anyone. 378 00:19:17,151 --> 00:19:19,737 We just can't have our names tied to secret card games 379 00:19:19,820 --> 00:19:21,530 - and dead mobsters, you know? - Mm. 380 00:19:21,614 --> 00:19:24,408 My stock crashes, and tens of thousands 381 00:19:24,492 --> 00:19:26,535 of indigenous weavers go hungry. 382 00:19:26,619 --> 00:19:27,828 Because she fires 'em. 383 00:19:27,912 --> 00:19:30,331 Yes, why else would they go hungry? 384 00:19:31,374 --> 00:19:34,960 So, the three of you knew the "Dry Cleaning King of Brooklyn"? 385 00:19:35,044 --> 00:19:37,546 The dead mobster? Not at all. 386 00:19:37,630 --> 00:19:39,590 I know he owned the gaming parlor. 387 00:19:40,675 --> 00:19:43,803 The mobby shit's always been part of what makes the place so cool. 388 00:19:43,886 --> 00:19:45,680 What's there to investigate? 389 00:19:45,763 --> 00:19:49,183 A mob hit is very open and shut. Won't be your best season. 390 00:19:49,266 --> 00:19:52,269 Well, we're also investigating the death of our doorman. 391 00:19:52,353 --> 00:19:53,354 Did you know him? 392 00:19:55,272 --> 00:19:58,776 I mean, there was a guy who always covered the door 393 00:19:58,859 --> 00:20:01,112 for the Saturday games. Uh, gray mustache? 394 00:20:01,195 --> 00:20:03,614 That was Lester. It was ruled natural causes 395 00:20:03,698 --> 00:20:04,907 because of a fall. 396 00:20:04,990 --> 00:20:08,994 Yes, falls are the leading cause of injury deaths in the elderly. 397 00:20:09,078 --> 00:20:11,580 - You two, be careful. - Our Pilates instructor says we have 398 00:20:11,664 --> 00:20:13,624 - the gait stability of 46-year-olds. - It's true. 399 00:20:13,708 --> 00:20:15,126 If you're serious about age-reversal, 400 00:20:15,209 --> 00:20:17,795 you have to consider plasma replacement therapy. 401 00:20:17,878 --> 00:20:20,673 I own a stable of teen plasma donors. 402 00:20:21,424 --> 00:20:26,011 We have reason to believe that Nicky died last week when Lester died. 403 00:20:26,095 --> 00:20:28,305 There were signs that Nicky was frozen. 404 00:20:28,389 --> 00:20:32,226 Someone hid his body to make it look like they were unrelated. 405 00:20:32,309 --> 00:20:34,895 Oh, you got your hands on the body. 406 00:20:34,979 --> 00:20:35,980 Wow. 407 00:20:36,063 --> 00:20:37,273 I mean, can you admit that 408 00:20:37,356 --> 00:20:39,817 on a podcast? That's a felony, right? 409 00:20:39,900 --> 00:20:42,236 I'm sure they went to the authorities immediately. 410 00:20:42,319 --> 00:20:43,320 Mm. 411 00:20:46,907 --> 00:20:49,285 Mm-hmm. Um, you know what, let's get you some more caviar. 412 00:20:49,368 --> 00:20:51,245 - Mm. Absolutely. - Let's get it, I think there's more caviar 413 00:20:51,328 --> 00:20:52,329 - in the kitchen. - I'm good. 414 00:20:52,413 --> 00:20:54,165 - We definitely have bologna. - And, uh, 415 00:20:54,248 --> 00:20:56,250 I think there's a fresher bottle. 416 00:20:56,333 --> 00:20:59,879 Okay, okay, okay, I was not prepared for all three. 417 00:20:59,962 --> 00:21:01,797 Are they making veiled threats or being charming? 418 00:21:01,881 --> 00:21:02,965 I can't tell. 419 00:21:03,048 --> 00:21:05,760 Let's split them up and see what they say about Jay's finger. 420 00:21:05,843 --> 00:21:07,553 I'll take Jay because we're not old. 421 00:21:07,636 --> 00:21:09,805 And Charles should take Bash because they're both, well, 422 00:21:09,889 --> 00:21:11,766 what we used to call "the weird kid." 423 00:21:12,641 --> 00:21:14,143 Aw. 424 00:21:17,313 --> 00:21:20,191 Camila! I… I just have a few more questions. 425 00:21:20,274 --> 00:21:21,984 Can I give you a tour? 426 00:21:22,067 --> 00:21:23,068 Fine. 427 00:21:23,819 --> 00:21:27,990 If you can stop yelling, a tour before dinner. 428 00:21:28,073 --> 00:21:30,743 Dinner! I said we need dinner. 429 00:21:30,826 --> 00:21:33,245 Of course, a party at 7:00 means dinner. 430 00:21:34,038 --> 00:21:36,123 Thank you, Bash! Gimme a hand? 431 00:21:37,291 --> 00:21:39,210 If the servants don't mind. 432 00:21:39,293 --> 00:21:42,171 Oh, the servants aren't gonna mind. 433 00:21:45,216 --> 00:21:46,217 Beer? 434 00:21:51,722 --> 00:21:53,682 So, Jay… 435 00:21:55,851 --> 00:21:57,812 How'd you lose the finger? 436 00:22:00,105 --> 00:22:02,024 How'd those two old guys become your best friends? 437 00:22:02,942 --> 00:22:03,943 Nice. 438 00:22:10,282 --> 00:22:11,659 So, how well do you know Jay? 439 00:22:11,742 --> 00:22:14,411 Have you… have you two been playing together for long? 440 00:22:14,495 --> 00:22:16,705 All I know about Jay 441 00:22:16,789 --> 00:22:20,000 is he has a tantrum like a toddler when he loses… 442 00:22:20,084 --> 00:22:22,711 - Ooh. - …which is tragic and amusing. 443 00:22:22,795 --> 00:22:25,840 I'm sorry, but every room 444 00:22:25,923 --> 00:22:28,717 - in this house needs me. - Oh. 445 00:22:28,801 --> 00:22:32,179 Are those the Statler and Waldorf balconies on your wall? 446 00:22:32,263 --> 00:22:35,975 Ha! Well, I'm… I'm a theater director. 447 00:22:36,058 --> 00:22:39,395 So, you thought, "I should put theater directing on my walls"? 448 00:22:41,272 --> 00:22:44,859 Well, but, the… the beauty of this place is really its stories. 449 00:22:44,942 --> 00:22:46,986 Uh, like my ex-wife, uh, loved these drapes, 450 00:22:47,069 --> 00:22:50,239 so I fought to keep them out of spite. 451 00:22:50,322 --> 00:22:52,491 Not necessarily my finest moment, 452 00:22:52,575 --> 00:22:56,745 but, uh, not all the stories in here are great. 453 00:22:58,247 --> 00:23:01,792 Well, this looks great. 454 00:23:02,585 --> 00:23:06,005 This is great. It's my new wife. 455 00:23:07,882 --> 00:23:09,800 And she moved in… to all this? 456 00:23:11,510 --> 00:23:13,971 Uh, well, n… Uh, not yet, 457 00:23:14,054 --> 00:23:17,057 but, uh, you know, I mean… 458 00:23:18,225 --> 00:23:20,227 I love duck à l'orange. 459 00:23:20,311 --> 00:23:22,688 During the war we only had duck at Christmas. 460 00:23:22,771 --> 00:23:24,648 Oh, and… and which war was that? 461 00:23:24,732 --> 00:23:28,193 "Three sprigs of parsley." Uh, I'll chop. 462 00:23:36,285 --> 00:23:37,870 Haven't cooked in decades. 463 00:23:37,953 --> 00:23:40,831 So, you haven't used a… a cleaver in a while. 464 00:23:40,915 --> 00:23:42,791 You know anybody else who might have used a cleaver? 465 00:23:42,875 --> 00:23:44,376 - Anybody? - Isn't it interesting? 466 00:23:44,460 --> 00:23:47,630 None of us will leave behind written recipes. 467 00:23:47,713 --> 00:23:50,925 Future generations will just have bookmarks on chef robots. 468 00:23:51,008 --> 00:23:53,636 Yeah, it's, uh… it's true, it's sad. 469 00:23:53,719 --> 00:23:55,471 You know, the… the times are changing, 470 00:23:55,554 --> 00:23:58,557 especially for us old guys in our… How old did you say you were? 471 00:23:58,641 --> 00:24:00,017 That depends on the organ. 472 00:24:01,018 --> 00:24:05,981 Charles, wallowing takes six years off your life. 473 00:24:06,065 --> 00:24:09,318 Dorothy Parker told me that. She took my virginity. 474 00:24:09,401 --> 00:24:12,988 Point is, you're only old if you don't change with the times. 475 00:24:13,072 --> 00:24:15,908 You know, technology's helped me stay young. 476 00:24:15,991 --> 00:24:18,160 But reinvention is the real key. 477 00:24:19,370 --> 00:24:22,247 Yeah, that… it… it takes a lot of energy keeping up. 478 00:24:23,248 --> 00:24:24,416 Yeah, it does. 479 00:24:24,500 --> 00:24:27,503 Every time I've put a wife in assisted living and had to start over, 480 00:24:27,586 --> 00:24:29,588 I've had moments of doubt that I could do it. 481 00:24:29,672 --> 00:24:30,965 But I did. 482 00:24:31,048 --> 00:24:32,049 And you can. 483 00:24:32,925 --> 00:24:34,635 Well, thank you. 484 00:24:34,718 --> 00:24:37,972 Now, how much orange zest goes in great-gran's… 485 00:24:39,139 --> 00:24:41,934 Oh! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! 486 00:24:43,978 --> 00:24:45,980 My great-gran is gone! 487 00:24:46,063 --> 00:24:47,606 It's gone. 488 00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:49,525 No! 489 00:24:49,608 --> 00:24:50,609 How much orange zest 490 00:24:50,693 --> 00:24:53,654 is in Charles-Haden Savage's great-gran's duck à l'orange recipe? 491 00:24:54,947 --> 00:24:56,824 There are one-and-a-half teaspoons 492 00:24:56,907 --> 00:24:59,451 of orange zest in that recipe. 493 00:24:59,535 --> 00:25:01,245 How did it know that? 494 00:25:02,037 --> 00:25:03,956 Show me Charles-Haden Savage 495 00:25:04,039 --> 00:25:05,624 making duck à l'orange. 496 00:25:05,708 --> 00:25:07,918 That sounds like a lot of zest, Brazzos. 497 00:25:08,002 --> 00:25:09,420 I'm zesty, Regis. 498 00:25:09,503 --> 00:25:11,046 Yes, you're a multi-talented guy. 499 00:25:11,130 --> 00:25:13,340 I admire guys like that, that could do more than one thing. 500 00:25:13,424 --> 00:25:15,009 I just revel in it. 501 00:25:15,092 --> 00:25:17,344 Probably in ten minutes, something unbelievable is gonna happen. 502 00:25:17,428 --> 00:25:20,514 Why do I think it's gonna be me making your duck a l'orange? 503 00:25:20,597 --> 00:25:22,683 Well, Regis, because you're psychic. 504 00:25:22,766 --> 00:25:23,976 We're gonna take a commercial break 505 00:25:24,059 --> 00:25:26,228 and make it happen in the next segment. 506 00:25:27,438 --> 00:25:29,523 I forgot I did that. 507 00:25:29,606 --> 00:25:31,567 My great-gran lives on. 508 00:25:31,650 --> 00:25:32,651 Thank you. 509 00:25:33,569 --> 00:25:35,571 This is why I do what I do. 510 00:25:35,654 --> 00:25:39,742 In the right hands, technology should keep the past alive, preserved, 511 00:25:39,825 --> 00:25:43,328 like I'm preserved every night floating in my tank of collagen. 512 00:25:45,831 --> 00:25:48,834 - I also had a sad home. - Ah. 513 00:25:48,917 --> 00:25:50,669 My first one. 514 00:25:50,753 --> 00:25:53,672 A young girl with a deep love of beauty, 515 00:25:53,756 --> 00:25:57,509 born to a casino magnate and his former showgirl wife, 516 00:25:57,593 --> 00:26:00,345 raised amidst a sea of hot pink 517 00:26:00,429 --> 00:26:02,264 in Reno. 518 00:26:02,347 --> 00:26:03,807 Eww, so sorry. 519 00:26:03,891 --> 00:26:06,477 The moment I turned 18, 520 00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:09,605 I moved… to Connecticut. 521 00:26:09,688 --> 00:26:11,774 - Oh. - Leaving that home 522 00:26:11,857 --> 00:26:14,109 jump-started my mission to beautify the world, 523 00:26:14,193 --> 00:26:16,779 and it turned me into a billionaire. 524 00:26:16,862 --> 00:26:20,199 And I started with nothing. 525 00:26:22,701 --> 00:26:24,828 So, are… are you saying that Loretta and I 526 00:26:24,912 --> 00:26:27,122 should start fresh? Get a new place? 527 00:26:27,206 --> 00:26:30,501 - These bones are remarkable. - Ah. 528 00:26:30,584 --> 00:26:33,837 You just need to change everything. 529 00:26:38,675 --> 00:26:41,178 So, uh, come on, the finger? 530 00:26:41,261 --> 00:26:42,471 I gotta know. 531 00:26:43,639 --> 00:26:46,225 The only crime I'm guilty of is being an embarrassing nepo baby 532 00:26:46,308 --> 00:26:50,395 who's trying to do some good with his ancestors' blood money. 533 00:26:50,479 --> 00:26:51,855 Yeah, and how's that going? 534 00:26:51,939 --> 00:26:55,275 I started my own nonprofit, hired a CEO, 535 00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:59,279 a friend of mine I trusted, who then took all the money. 536 00:26:59,363 --> 00:27:01,031 Everyone thinks I'm a swindler, 537 00:27:01,115 --> 00:27:03,617 but really, I'm just shit at knowing who to trust. 538 00:27:04,701 --> 00:27:06,954 I'm sure it'll happen again. 539 00:27:07,037 --> 00:27:08,580 Then, why keep trying? 540 00:27:11,208 --> 00:27:15,129 Because I wanna prove to everyone that I'm not a… fuck up. 541 00:27:20,509 --> 00:27:24,847 Are you aware of the pop sensation THĒ? 542 00:27:25,722 --> 00:27:28,517 Uh, the "The" girl? Yeah, why? 543 00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:32,437 She is someone I incorrectly trusted. 544 00:27:32,521 --> 00:27:36,733 She couldn't be more frustrating, 545 00:27:36,817 --> 00:27:40,821 and I… I can't stop wanting to impress her. 546 00:27:40,904 --> 00:27:45,367 So, I lied and said we were getting a deal at Wondify, 547 00:27:45,450 --> 00:27:46,827 and we aren't. 548 00:27:46,910 --> 00:27:49,246 So, now I have to try to make that happen. 549 00:27:49,329 --> 00:27:50,956 I'm sure it won't. 550 00:27:51,039 --> 00:27:53,709 And I hate myself for that. 551 00:27:57,421 --> 00:27:59,131 I will literally kill you. 552 00:27:59,214 --> 00:28:01,091 She wrote that, I feel like, about me. 553 00:28:01,174 --> 00:28:02,926 It's really good. It's catchy. 554 00:28:05,888 --> 00:28:08,348 I was playing with these bozos the night Nicky died, 555 00:28:08,432 --> 00:28:10,225 but I did not kill anyone. 556 00:28:11,310 --> 00:28:13,353 So, what happened with your finger? 557 00:28:15,063 --> 00:28:19,735 Just another bad decision in a long line of bad decisions. 558 00:28:24,615 --> 00:28:26,742 While we have a quiet moment, 559 00:28:26,825 --> 00:28:30,203 I wanna help you make sure you stay out of our little story. 560 00:28:30,996 --> 00:28:33,373 But what happened to Jay's finger? 561 00:28:35,876 --> 00:28:36,877 Fine. 562 00:28:37,878 --> 00:28:40,213 The night Lester died, 563 00:28:40,297 --> 00:28:42,883 Nicky showed up with this cleaver. 564 00:28:44,259 --> 00:28:46,094 Wa… Was he mad at someone? Maybe Jay? 565 00:28:46,178 --> 00:28:50,349 He was livid and raving about the film "Goodfellows"? 566 00:28:50,432 --> 00:28:53,852 He had an inordinate amount of white powder 567 00:28:53,936 --> 00:28:55,479 under his nose. 568 00:28:55,562 --> 00:28:58,231 I'd call it a Snow White white, 569 00:28:58,315 --> 00:29:01,276 or perhaps a Santa's beard white. 570 00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:02,694 He was nuts. 571 00:29:02,778 --> 00:29:04,947 He was gonna hit someone. I tried to stop him. 572 00:29:05,030 --> 00:29:07,032 I mean, Bash is covered in baby skin, 573 00:29:07,115 --> 00:29:08,575 but he's pretty old. 574 00:29:08,659 --> 00:29:11,787 Well, I tried to calm him down, but Jay had to be the hero, 575 00:29:11,870 --> 00:29:14,289 and so Nicky… "chh!"… chopped off his finger. 576 00:29:15,874 --> 00:29:18,460 I obviously left because of the mess. 577 00:29:19,378 --> 00:29:22,214 And also, it's rude to be the last to leave a party, so… 578 00:29:22,297 --> 00:29:26,218 I told Jay not to escalate, but chop-chop. Then we all ran out. 579 00:29:26,301 --> 00:29:29,346 There wasn't time to look for it, which is why I went back. 580 00:29:30,555 --> 00:29:32,724 It'd be nice not to have a finger floating around, ya know? 581 00:29:32,808 --> 00:29:34,309 You didn't happen to see it in there, did you? 582 00:29:36,144 --> 00:29:37,938 Okay. Duck à l'orange 583 00:29:38,021 --> 00:29:39,940 is ready in two hours and 45 minutes. 584 00:29:40,023 --> 00:29:42,484 - Who's hungry? - I don't eat after 11 a.m., 585 00:29:42,567 --> 00:29:44,528 but have we answered all your questions? 586 00:29:44,611 --> 00:29:47,864 Well, yes, I learned that Nicky chopped off Jay's finger, 587 00:29:47,948 --> 00:29:51,368 and then Bash, Camila, and Jay ran out. 588 00:29:51,451 --> 00:29:53,662 - Yeah, that's what Jay said. - And Lester and Nicky 589 00:29:53,745 --> 00:29:55,038 were still alive, so… 590 00:29:55,122 --> 00:29:57,791 Huh, look at you two not lying to pin it on me. 591 00:29:57,874 --> 00:30:00,335 - You do care. - Case closed. 592 00:30:00,419 --> 00:30:02,045 And now that we've cleared this up, 593 00:30:02,129 --> 00:30:05,173 I trust I won't hear my name on future episodes. 594 00:30:05,257 --> 00:30:08,885 Okay, duck à l'orange in two hours and 44 minutes. 595 00:30:08,969 --> 00:30:11,346 Ah. Next time. 596 00:30:11,430 --> 00:30:14,641 Forgot I have some friends coming over to do some rock climbing. 597 00:30:14,725 --> 00:30:16,268 Mabel… 598 00:30:16,351 --> 00:30:17,352 thanks. 599 00:30:18,645 --> 00:30:19,938 It was a really nice talk. 600 00:30:23,567 --> 00:30:26,486 Touching food again was pleasant. 601 00:30:28,572 --> 00:30:30,073 Enjoy the remodel. 602 00:30:31,324 --> 00:30:32,743 Wait, what remodel? 603 00:30:38,457 --> 00:30:40,834 Wow, this really is much better. 604 00:30:40,917 --> 00:30:42,502 How did we not hear anything? 605 00:30:42,586 --> 00:30:44,880 She's a home decor witch! 606 00:30:52,387 --> 00:30:54,723 This is better. The hot glue fumes 607 00:30:54,806 --> 00:30:57,392 from my apartment jump-started my hangover. 608 00:30:57,476 --> 00:30:59,144 Does champagne expire? 609 00:30:59,227 --> 00:31:01,730 Oh, you should really lay off the alcohol. 610 00:31:01,813 --> 00:31:04,274 Uh, Bash says it inflames your enzymes. 611 00:31:04,357 --> 00:31:06,401 Now, which war would you think was going on 612 00:31:06,485 --> 00:31:09,154 when Dorothy Parker was in her sexual prime? 613 00:31:09,237 --> 00:31:11,281 First sexual prime, or second? 614 00:31:11,364 --> 00:31:15,160 How crazy is it that we have Jay Pflug's finger in your freezer? 615 00:31:15,243 --> 00:31:17,079 At least we figured that out. 616 00:31:17,162 --> 00:31:20,040 So, we're gonna believe these three? 617 00:31:20,123 --> 00:31:22,250 Oh, please, Camila is no killer. 618 00:31:22,334 --> 00:31:25,295 Although, I felt like I was spending a couple of hours 619 00:31:25,378 --> 00:31:28,965 with a cross between Ann-Margret and Nanette Fabray, so I almost died. 620 00:31:32,594 --> 00:31:33,887 Jay didn't do it. 621 00:31:33,970 --> 00:31:35,972 He was just trying to protect everyone. 622 00:31:36,056 --> 00:31:39,726 He's, um… sweeter than I expected. 623 00:31:39,810 --> 00:31:41,061 Mabel… 624 00:31:42,229 --> 00:31:44,064 did your eyelashes just flutter? 625 00:31:44,147 --> 00:31:47,484 Oliver, Jay makes Mabel's eyelashes flutter. 626 00:31:47,567 --> 00:31:50,362 No, I'm n… Shut up, I'm not fluttering. 627 00:31:50,445 --> 00:31:53,615 It's just maybe we should give him his finger back. 628 00:31:53,698 --> 00:31:55,659 Crushing on a suspect, Mabel? 629 00:31:55,742 --> 00:31:57,536 This is really a Charles storyline, 630 00:31:57,619 --> 00:31:58,829 - isn't it? - Ugh. 631 00:31:58,912 --> 00:32:00,747 If both of you couple up, 632 00:32:00,831 --> 00:32:04,543 that leaves me birding with Vince, or getting a drink with a robot. 633 00:32:04,626 --> 00:32:07,671 Oh, my God, you guys, Wondify wants to sign us. 634 00:32:07,754 --> 00:32:09,756 They said that they would love to have us 635 00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:13,051 come see the studio and become part of the Wondify family. 636 00:32:13,135 --> 00:32:14,386 - Your email worked! - You're kidding. 637 00:32:14,469 --> 00:32:16,054 Oh, take that, THĒ. 638 00:32:16,138 --> 00:32:18,557 Whoa, wish that you were us, bitch! 639 00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:20,350 Whoa, I didn't mean for that to come out. 640 00:32:20,433 --> 00:32:22,686 Wish that you were us, ma'am. 641 00:32:22,769 --> 00:32:25,564 - I'm very excited. - Me too. 642 00:32:31,403 --> 00:32:34,531 Welcome, OMITB! 643 00:32:34,614 --> 00:32:36,783 Congratulations, you have a beautiful baby podcast. 644 00:32:36,867 --> 00:32:38,243 Oh, we're so excited. 645 00:32:38,326 --> 00:32:40,745 Let me give you a tour, okay? I love the stripes. 646 00:32:40,829 --> 00:32:42,247 - Oh, thanks. - It's fab. 647 00:32:43,123 --> 00:32:45,083 Some of our smaller studios are that way. 648 00:32:45,167 --> 00:32:48,378 Oh, you're gonna love this. Those are the Drunk Sluts. 649 00:32:48,461 --> 00:32:51,089 Such champs, recorded seven episodes today. 650 00:32:51,173 --> 00:32:52,549 Oh my God… 651 00:32:52,632 --> 00:32:54,259 You're killin' it, ladies! 652 00:32:54,342 --> 00:32:55,677 - Hi! - Ah! 653 00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:56,761 Okay. 654 00:32:58,013 --> 00:33:00,682 - This is your studio. - Whoa. What? 655 00:33:00,765 --> 00:33:02,309 Oh, really? 656 00:33:02,392 --> 00:33:03,435 - Okay. - Yeah. 657 00:33:03,518 --> 00:33:05,061 Oh, my God. 658 00:33:05,145 --> 00:33:06,980 - Yeah. Mm-hmm. - Thank you. Oh, water. 659 00:33:07,063 --> 00:33:08,648 Hello, how are you? 660 00:33:08,732 --> 00:33:10,233 - Oh, your camera operator. - Hi. 661 00:33:10,317 --> 00:33:11,818 - Your engineer. - Hi. 662 00:33:11,902 --> 00:33:13,195 - Hi. - Look at the awards. 663 00:33:13,278 --> 00:33:15,906 - It's insane. - Okay, uh, this'll do. 664 00:33:15,989 --> 00:33:16,990 Okay. 665 00:33:17,949 --> 00:33:20,243 So, per the contract, we'll relaunch you 666 00:33:20,327 --> 00:33:22,829 with a month-long stint on our welcome page. 667 00:33:22,913 --> 00:33:25,040 - Uh-huh. - I told your lawyer between makeup lines 668 00:33:25,123 --> 00:33:27,584 and elder safety devices, you're an advertising juggernaut. 669 00:33:28,835 --> 00:33:30,253 Well, the timing couldn't be better. 670 00:33:30,337 --> 00:33:32,255 I mean, considering who we're investigating, 671 00:33:32,339 --> 00:33:35,091 we could use a little extra firepower. 672 00:33:35,175 --> 00:33:37,093 And it's a cast of characters you dream of. 673 00:33:37,177 --> 00:33:39,387 You know, an… an adulterous mob wife. 674 00:33:39,471 --> 00:33:41,848 Sebastian Steed and Camila White running for their lives 675 00:33:41,932 --> 00:33:44,100 after a mobster chops off Jay Pflug's finger. 676 00:33:44,184 --> 00:33:47,729 Incredible. Just one thing… 677 00:33:47,812 --> 00:33:49,356 Sorry. Guys? 678 00:33:50,899 --> 00:33:53,318 Which way do your pointers curve? 679 00:33:55,403 --> 00:33:56,655 They point away from each other. 680 00:33:56,738 --> 00:33:58,156 - Huh, never noticed that. - Yeah. 681 00:33:59,282 --> 00:34:01,159 Jay lost his right finger. 682 00:34:02,035 --> 00:34:04,663 The finger we have curves left. 683 00:34:05,956 --> 00:34:07,540 That lying piece of shit. 684 00:34:07,624 --> 00:34:10,126 - This isn't his finger. - So, who… Whose finger is it? 685 00:34:10,210 --> 00:34:12,128 You mean, they were lying when they told us what happened? 686 00:34:12,212 --> 00:34:13,755 They had gotten their stories straight. 687 00:34:13,838 --> 00:34:16,258 Someone else was in the room that night, 688 00:34:16,341 --> 00:34:19,219 someone that Lester didn't put in his little bird ledger. 689 00:34:19,302 --> 00:34:21,096 Well, I'm ready to start recording. 690 00:34:21,179 --> 00:34:23,473 I'm gonna take that little nepo baby down. 691 00:34:23,556 --> 00:34:25,183 Wow, what a twist. 692 00:34:25,267 --> 00:34:28,311 Just keep in mind the restrictions of the corporate machine we have here. 693 00:34:28,395 --> 00:34:30,021 Sorry? What restrictions? 694 00:34:30,105 --> 00:34:32,023 Well, per the contract you just signed, 695 00:34:32,107 --> 00:34:34,442 you're unable to podcast about management of the company. 696 00:34:34,526 --> 00:34:36,194 Conflict of interest. 697 00:34:36,278 --> 00:34:39,531 And we have new majority stakeholders as of very recently. 698 00:34:40,448 --> 00:34:42,492 Um, who? 699 00:34:54,379 --> 00:34:56,589 The easiest way to win a game 700 00:34:56,673 --> 00:34:58,550 is to make your opponent think they're playing 701 00:34:58,633 --> 00:35:00,635 a different game entirely. 702 00:35:01,928 --> 00:35:05,181 - I confided in Jay. - They joined forces. 703 00:35:05,265 --> 00:35:07,017 They're all dirty. 704 00:35:07,100 --> 00:35:09,060 While focused on that game, 705 00:35:09,144 --> 00:35:11,730 your opponent may give you just what you need 706 00:35:11,813 --> 00:35:13,690 to win the real prize. 707 00:35:15,108 --> 00:35:16,985 Oh God, don't worry. 708 00:35:17,068 --> 00:35:20,238 If eliminating those three takes the teeth out of this story, 709 00:35:20,322 --> 00:35:23,575 your deal can be rolled to any other podcast ideas. 710 00:35:23,658 --> 00:35:25,994 You know, you're family now, 711 00:35:26,077 --> 00:35:29,247 and will remain exclusively so for three years. 712 00:35:37,297 --> 00:35:39,591 By the time they realize what you've done… 713 00:35:41,885 --> 00:35:43,011 game's over.