1
00:00:01,086 --> 00:00:04,198
OK now, see here is a good example
of a plant you can't eat.

2
00:00:04,323 --> 00:00:05,490
See all the spikes.

3
00:00:05,615 --> 00:00:08,650
So two things, one it's poisonous,
and two, it would hurt.

4
00:00:08,775 --> 00:00:10,843
The Parks department has
so many programs.

5
00:00:10,968 --> 00:00:13,347
Jerry is in charge
of our pre-teen nature hikes.

6
00:00:13,515 --> 00:00:14,548
For a while,

7
00:00:14,673 --> 00:00:17,160
it was a teenage nature hike,
but then we changed it

8
00:00:17,285 --> 00:00:19,135
because a girl got pregnant

9
00:00:19,521 --> 00:00:23,521
Look what we have here.
Country honeysuckle, Pawnee-style.

10
00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:27,324
Yeah, take a look at that.
It's pretty and it smells good.

11
00:00:27,449 --> 00:00:29,795
- Smells great.
- Yeah, it's really nice.

12
00:00:33,170 --> 00:00:35,050
- That's bitter.
- You don't eat it.

13
00:00:35,175 --> 00:00:37,329
- Why did you let me eat that?
- I never told you.

14
00:00:38,207 --> 00:00:40,077
The animals know you don't eat that.

15
00:00:40,202 --> 00:00:42,042
I'm not an animal.
My tongue is swelling up.

16
00:00:42,211 --> 00:00:44,879
No, don't touch...
Now you'll have to throw that away.

17
00:00:45,047 --> 00:00:46,505
Let's not scare the kids.

18
00:00:46,673 --> 00:00:47,804
There we go then.

19
00:00:47,929 --> 00:00:50,301
So let's show 'em what other plants
we could eat, Jerry.

20
00:00:51,183 --> 00:00:54,383
But I have to say
it's a very sweet aftertaste though.

21
00:00:59,479 --> 00:01:01,257
- Feygnasse Team -

22
00:01:01,382 --> 00:01:03,031
mpm, So.

23
00:01:26,234 --> 00:01:27,794
So I have a piece of good news.

24
00:01:27,919 --> 00:01:30,424
I've invited a reporter to come do
an article about the pit

25
00:01:30,592 --> 00:01:31,923
behind your house.

26
00:01:32,260 --> 00:01:34,919
She writes for the Pawnee Journal,
which is kind of like

27
00:01:35,044 --> 00:01:36,894
our town's Washington Post.

28
00:01:38,693 --> 00:01:40,017
That sounds really good.

29
00:01:40,370 --> 00:01:42,728
Thank you, Ann.
It is a classic strategy.

30
00:01:43,102 --> 00:01:45,606
The press is a weapon,
and you can use it to kill people

31
00:01:45,774 --> 00:01:46,909
or to feed people.

32
00:01:47,034 --> 00:01:49,198
The beginning of projects
are very vulnerable.

33
00:01:49,323 --> 00:01:51,267
You have to make sure
that you get a lot of press

34
00:01:51,392 --> 00:01:54,638
'cause the momentum of that can
kind of keep it alive, or it'll die.

35
00:01:55,270 --> 00:01:57,867
You remember the tucker parker
graffiti removal project.

36
00:01:58,203 --> 00:02:01,544
The tucker parker graffiti
removal project was a great idea

37
00:02:01,669 --> 00:02:03,082
that just ran out of steam.

38
00:02:03,629 --> 00:02:05,828
We had removed
five cartoon penises...

39
00:02:05,953 --> 00:02:07,064
not even 10 %.

40
00:02:07,189 --> 00:02:09,743
When we were shut down
due to lack of funding.

41
00:02:10,048 --> 00:02:13,592
To this day, I am haunted
by those remaining penises.

42
00:02:15,986 --> 00:02:17,686
One penis in particular.

43
00:02:18,182 --> 00:02:20,364
Now when the reporter gets here,
it is vital

44
00:02:20,489 --> 00:02:23,351
that we all follow my rules
about how to deal with the media.

45
00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:25,574
Rule numer one: Stay on message.

46
00:02:26,470 --> 00:02:27,570
This is key.

47
00:02:27,906 --> 00:02:30,588
All we need to talk about
is the pit,

48
00:02:30,930 --> 00:02:33,147
and the fact that we're gonna
turn it into a park.

49
00:02:33,272 --> 00:02:34,457
And that's it.
Okay?

50
00:02:34,582 --> 00:02:35,654
Number two.

51
00:02:35,779 --> 00:02:37,888
What?
Stay on message again?

52
00:02:38,013 --> 00:02:39,763
Yes, it's that important.

53
00:02:40,211 --> 00:02:41,279
It's one and two.

54
00:02:41,404 --> 00:02:43,534
Stay on message and stay on message.
Right?

55
00:02:43,659 --> 00:02:44,905
Stay on what, Ann?

56
00:02:45,030 --> 00:02:46,252
- Message.
- Great.

57
00:02:46,377 --> 00:02:49,667
Leslie formed a committee
to fill the pit in a week,

58
00:02:50,432 --> 00:02:51,944
which is really impressive.

59
00:02:52,617 --> 00:02:54,965
I mean until now, my only experience
with government

60
00:02:55,090 --> 00:02:56,802
was trying to get a recycling bin.

61
00:02:58,544 --> 00:02:59,971
Wait.
Did I ever get it?

62
00:03:06,913 --> 00:03:08,355
Buy you a cup of coffee?

63
00:03:10,462 --> 00:03:11,859
This is JJ's diner,

64
00:03:12,537 --> 00:03:15,937
the unofficial meeting place
of Pawnee's political elite.

65
00:03:16,282 --> 00:03:19,033
The people who eat here
basically run this town.

66
00:03:19,202 --> 00:03:21,246
I was hoping I could pick your brain

67
00:03:21,371 --> 00:03:23,899
about how to deal with the media.
It's my 1st interview.

68
00:03:24,024 --> 00:03:26,707
What about that thing you did
for the middle school newspaper?

69
00:03:27,387 --> 00:03:30,085
No. I don't count that.
That was a smear job.

70
00:03:30,884 --> 00:03:33,364
So I put together
some discussion topics.

71
00:03:33,489 --> 00:03:34,987
Can I run them by you?

72
00:03:36,844 --> 00:03:38,794
What do you think her opening gambit
is gonna be?

73
00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:40,904
What is she gonna ask me first?

74
00:03:41,038 --> 00:03:43,292
- How you spell your name.
- Of course.

75
00:03:43,870 --> 00:03:46,393
Because of the silent k.
You're so smart.

76
00:03:47,604 --> 00:03:49,395
Should I give her
a tour of the building?

77
00:03:49,565 --> 00:03:52,191
How many discussion questions
do you have there?

78
00:03:52,359 --> 00:03:53,067
30.

79
00:03:55,363 --> 00:03:56,403
You're insane.

80
00:03:56,739 --> 00:03:57,939
You're insane.

81
00:04:01,482 --> 00:04:02,993
Mark and I made love once.

82
00:04:04,313 --> 00:04:06,013
And it was very intense.

83
00:04:08,708 --> 00:04:10,250
I'm looking for Leslie Knope.

84
00:04:13,070 --> 00:04:14,360
My ears are ringing.

85
00:04:15,314 --> 00:04:16,676
- I'm Leslie Knope.
- Hi.

86
00:04:16,988 --> 00:04:19,322
- I'm the deputy director.
- Shauna.

87
00:04:19,447 --> 00:04:21,887
Malwae-Tweep.
Yes, I am familiar with your work.

88
00:04:22,055 --> 00:04:23,773
I've read everything
you've ever written.

89
00:04:23,898 --> 00:04:27,526
You did an amazing in-depth article
on the raccoon problem here in Pawnee.

90
00:04:29,212 --> 00:04:30,813
Who left the door open?

91
00:04:33,775 --> 00:04:35,325
And I agree with you.

92
00:04:35,646 --> 00:04:36,985
They are nature's bandits.

93
00:04:37,153 --> 00:04:39,246
Thanks.
I was happy with that line.

94
00:04:40,193 --> 00:04:42,491
So, can I give you a quick tour
before we get started?

95
00:04:42,676 --> 00:04:44,535
I've been here before.
A few times.

96
00:04:46,309 --> 00:04:47,309
Quick tour?

97
00:04:48,707 --> 00:04:51,368
There are ten murals here
in the hall.

98
00:04:52,169 --> 00:04:54,902
And this is called
The trial of chief Wamapo.

99
00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:58,465
It was painted in 1936
and this is chief Wamapo.

100
00:04:58,951 --> 00:05:02,051
And he was convicted of crimes
against the soldiers.

101
00:05:02,305 --> 00:05:04,651
I am always amazed at his...

102
00:05:05,590 --> 00:05:07,295
Quiet dignity.

103
00:05:08,978 --> 00:05:11,171
Right before he's killed
by a cannonball.

104
00:05:11,391 --> 00:05:14,439
- I'm surprised no one's complain.
- Tons of people have.

105
00:05:14,860 --> 00:05:16,775
Yeah, we get letters every day.

106
00:05:16,943 --> 00:05:18,485
This is Ron Swanson, our boss.

107
00:05:18,653 --> 00:05:21,167
- This is the reporter I told you about.
- No comment.

108
00:05:21,435 --> 00:05:22,322
About what?

109
00:05:23,696 --> 00:05:26,326
Maybe one day you'll figure out
how to spell a three-letter word.

110
00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:27,870
Come on, Ron.

111
00:05:28,038 --> 00:05:30,858
I play a lot of online scrabble
with my boss, Ron Swanson,

112
00:05:30,983 --> 00:05:32,547
and oh, my God,

113
00:05:33,335 --> 00:05:35,043
that guy is the best.

114
00:05:35,605 --> 00:05:38,226
He beats me every time.
He kills me. He's awesome.

115
00:05:38,351 --> 00:05:40,735
I can't beat him.
I should just close my account.

116
00:05:42,677 --> 00:05:45,178
- Shauna, this is our crack team.
- Hi, everyone.

117
00:05:45,348 --> 00:05:46,548
Tom Haverford.

118
00:05:46,809 --> 00:05:47,805
Boy genius.

119
00:05:48,135 --> 00:05:51,170
- Smooth like milk chocolate.
- That's a weird way to describe me.

120
00:05:51,295 --> 00:05:52,983
April Ludgate, 19.

121
00:05:53,313 --> 00:05:56,155
Cool enough to be invited anywhere
and chooses to be here.

122
00:05:56,325 --> 00:05:59,375
And finally, we've got
Ann Perkins and Andy Dwyer.

123
00:05:59,590 --> 00:06:01,361
They're the real heroes
of this story.

124
00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:03,906
Ann was the citizen who brought the pit
to our attention.

125
00:06:04,124 --> 00:06:06,913
And Andy is the citizen
who fell in it.

126
00:06:07,368 --> 00:06:08,123
Great.

127
00:06:09,363 --> 00:06:11,080
It's cool if I record this, right?

128
00:06:14,293 --> 00:06:15,116
Good.

129
00:06:16,010 --> 00:06:18,847
- That way it's verbatim.
- So Leslie,

130
00:06:19,289 --> 00:06:20,923
you're in charge of the committee.

131
00:06:24,316 --> 00:06:25,589
I'm sorry. It's...

132
00:06:25,714 --> 00:06:28,222
It's actually called a subcommittee,
not a committee, so.

133
00:06:29,862 --> 00:06:31,341
We can do all this on tape.

134
00:06:31,643 --> 00:06:32,793
Right. Sorry.

135
00:06:33,158 --> 00:06:34,258
Sure we can.

136
00:06:36,383 --> 00:06:38,230
And this is where you meet
generally?

137
00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:40,066
Really?

138
00:06:40,315 --> 00:06:43,810
We meet at a bunch of different places.
We don't always meet here.

139
00:06:43,935 --> 00:06:45,907
So I didn't quite know
how to answer that.

140
00:06:46,032 --> 00:06:48,716
Why don't I ask the rest of your team
some questions

141
00:06:48,841 --> 00:06:51,576
- and then we'll come back to you later?
- Okay, great. That's good.

142
00:06:51,701 --> 00:06:54,456
Because these are the real heroes.
I'm gonna in my office.

143
00:07:01,589 --> 00:07:03,965
So Andy, tell me about the night
you fell into the pit.

144
00:07:04,455 --> 00:07:06,176
That's actually a great story.

145
00:07:07,343 --> 00:07:11,054
I just finished up a gig with my band
Three Skin, formerly Foreskin,

146
00:07:11,179 --> 00:07:13,632
but our bassist left
for personal reasons.

147
00:07:13,757 --> 00:07:16,512
And I was taking the shortcut home,
and I thought I saw

148
00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:19,337
a toaster lying in the pit.
And I was like,

149
00:07:19,691 --> 00:07:21,136
"maybe I should get that".

150
00:07:21,527 --> 00:07:24,932
- And I fell in and broke my legs.
- Such a tragedy.

151
00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:27,494
Why would you want a toaster
that's lying in a pit?

152
00:07:27,619 --> 00:07:29,283
I don't know.
I was pretty wasted.

153
00:07:29,674 --> 00:07:32,318
- Wait... you were drunk?
- Yeah. Totally.

154
00:07:33,026 --> 00:07:34,787
- You knew that.
- I didn't know that.

155
00:07:34,956 --> 00:07:37,365
You should've told me, we gave you
anesthesia...

156
00:07:37,490 --> 00:07:39,953
I was probably not thinking
'cause I had two broken femurs

157
00:07:40,078 --> 00:07:42,421
- and I was blackout drunk.
- Andy, I just...

158
00:07:42,589 --> 00:07:44,768
I can't believe
I'm finding this out right now.

159
00:07:44,893 --> 00:07:47,332
Like you're perfect. You're on the pill.
You drink all the time.

160
00:07:47,457 --> 00:07:49,157
- You're allowed.
- Stay on message.

161
00:07:49,282 --> 00:07:51,519
Thank you so much
for bringing that up

162
00:07:51,848 --> 00:07:53,213
in front of a reporter.

163
00:07:56,351 --> 00:07:57,685
It's not that bad, right?

164
00:07:57,996 --> 00:08:01,023
I mean, why don't we just go back
in there and talk about the park?

165
00:08:02,789 --> 00:08:04,860
You're so sweet
and innocent and pretty.

166
00:08:05,268 --> 00:08:06,849
The press are like sharks,

167
00:08:07,113 --> 00:08:09,573
and you guys just dumped
a bucket of chum in the water.

168
00:08:11,367 --> 00:08:13,952
Hey, I just got your 15 texts.

169
00:08:14,842 --> 00:08:15,760
Listen.

170
00:08:16,967 --> 00:08:20,208
Thank you for coming.
I tried to stay on message.

171
00:08:20,774 --> 00:08:22,878
But then,
Ann and Andy sandbagged me.

172
00:08:23,046 --> 00:08:25,018
Andy was drunk
when he fell in the pit.

173
00:08:25,143 --> 00:08:28,583
And it turns out
that Ann is on birth control pills.

174
00:08:29,314 --> 00:08:31,511
Shauna is in the conference room,
and she's writing

175
00:08:31,679 --> 00:08:33,805
a really bad article
and it's gonna destroy us all.

176
00:08:34,182 --> 00:08:35,382
Please fix it.

177
00:08:37,620 --> 00:08:39,227
April.
Let me ask you something.

178
00:08:40,367 --> 00:08:44,009
Do you think I'm in the top five
best-looking Indian in Pawnee?

179
00:08:45,155 --> 00:08:47,420
Who can beat me?
That guy that teaches city planning?

180
00:08:47,545 --> 00:08:48,545
Tommy boy.

181
00:08:48,905 --> 00:08:51,406
Let me tell you something, Tom.
You suck at scrabble.

182
00:08:51,679 --> 00:08:53,161
I know.
You're destroying me.

183
00:08:53,535 --> 00:08:56,336
You're worse than my ex-wife,
and she's terrible at scrabble.

184
00:08:56,606 --> 00:08:59,541
- And she's a bitch.
- I'm gonna get one of these days.

185
00:08:59,666 --> 00:09:01,273
- I'm practicing.
- I doubt that.

186
00:09:01,398 --> 00:09:04,498
Her name is Tammy Swanson
and she's a serious bitch.

187
00:09:08,589 --> 00:09:12,135
I have to go. Let's do the interview
tomorrow morning at the pit.

188
00:09:13,825 --> 00:09:15,222
Yeah. Perfect.

189
00:09:15,390 --> 00:09:17,264
Great. I'll have a photographer
meet us there.

190
00:09:17,433 --> 00:09:19,483
- Okay. Great.
- See you then.

191
00:09:21,302 --> 00:09:22,652
Disaster averted.

192
00:09:23,418 --> 00:09:25,886
That was easy.
Can we go in your car?

193
00:09:26,011 --> 00:09:27,481
- Absolutely.
- All right.

194
00:09:27,606 --> 00:09:29,106
'cause I hate driving.

195
00:09:29,754 --> 00:09:32,099
There's a beautiful view
from over there.

196
00:09:32,224 --> 00:09:35,450
This is a great place to take a shot.
Over there as well, so.

197
00:09:35,618 --> 00:09:37,155
I think you're fine.

198
00:09:46,639 --> 00:09:47,713
Sorry I'm late.

199
00:09:47,884 --> 00:09:48,884
No problem.

200
00:09:50,627 --> 00:09:52,463
Do you live near Mark?

201
00:09:52,845 --> 00:09:54,095
No, not at all.

202
00:09:55,561 --> 00:09:57,389
So he gave you a ride somehow?

203
00:09:59,376 --> 00:10:00,725
Do you have a pen

204
00:10:00,894 --> 00:10:03,110
- 'cause I don't...
- No, sorry.

205
00:10:03,592 --> 00:10:05,938
- Michael, do you have any paper?
- I might, yeah.

206
00:10:06,107 --> 00:10:09,556
I don't mean to complain, but I think
Shauna is being a little unprofessional.

207
00:10:09,896 --> 00:10:11,715
She got here 15 minutes late.

208
00:10:12,147 --> 00:10:14,779
She's wearing the same dress
she wore yesterday.

209
00:10:14,904 --> 00:10:16,885
And she had to get a ride from...

210
00:10:24,908 --> 00:10:26,835
So how big is this lot?

211
00:10:27,515 --> 00:10:37,515
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