1 00:00:15,121 --> 00:00:16,816 Greg Pikitis. 2 00:00:18,291 --> 00:00:19,322 You're the Parks lady, right? 3 00:00:19,359 --> 00:00:21,451 Yeah, that's right. I'm the Parks lady. 4 00:00:21,527 --> 00:00:25,971 Leslie Knope. And I'm here to tell you that this year it ends. 5 00:00:26,065 --> 00:00:27,965 Ugh, this kid makes me crazy. 6 00:00:28,033 --> 00:00:30,365 We got a history, Greg and I. 7 00:00:30,436 --> 00:00:33,023 He absolutely terrorizes the Parks system. 8 00:00:33,638 --> 00:00:36,129 Every Halloween someone defaces the statue 9 00:00:36,207 --> 00:00:37,674 of Mayor Percy in Ramsett Park. 10 00:00:38,309 --> 00:00:41,972 And I know it's Greg Pikitis, but I've never been able to prove it. 11 00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:44,145 He's like an invisible, adolescent, 12 00:00:44,215 --> 00:00:47,274 James Bond super villain criminal mastermind. 13 00:00:49,219 --> 00:00:50,345 Or maybe someone else is doing it, 14 00:00:50,420 --> 00:00:52,285 but I really feel like it's this kid. 15 00:00:52,589 --> 00:00:54,489 I've got the entire Parks Department watching you, 16 00:00:54,558 --> 00:00:56,389 my boyfriend's a cop, 17 00:00:56,493 --> 00:00:58,483 so don't even try it. 18 00:00:58,561 --> 00:01:01,052 - I don't know what you're talking about. - Oh, I think you do. 19 00:01:01,263 --> 00:01:03,823 It ends today, Pikitis. It ends. 20 00:01:04,633 --> 00:01:07,329 Today. 21 00:01:10,472 --> 00:01:13,100 Thanks for stopping by, Leslie. You look great. 22 00:01:13,174 --> 00:01:15,267 Thank you. Ends today. 23 00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:38,560 Hey, Parks Department. 24 00:01:38,631 --> 00:01:40,394 Yeah, Ann's here. 25 00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:46,329 Uh, just to remind you, tonight, 7:00, my house, in costume. 26 00:01:46,404 --> 00:01:47,666 Everybody in? 27 00:01:47,973 --> 00:01:49,463 - Yeah. - Yeah. 28 00:01:49,674 --> 00:01:51,107 Cool. Okay. 29 00:01:51,176 --> 00:01:54,577 Halloween is my favorite holiday, it's just the best. 30 00:01:54,646 --> 00:01:56,476 And I don't have to work. 31 00:01:56,547 --> 00:01:59,516 Hey, slutty teenage girls dressed as sexy kittens, 32 00:01:59,583 --> 00:02:01,175 pump your own stomachs this year. 33 00:02:02,353 --> 00:02:04,947 Oh, one more thing, the people in this room now 34 00:02:05,022 --> 00:02:09,424 are the people I invited, plus Leslie and Donna, so, don't tell anybody. 35 00:02:09,492 --> 00:02:11,153 - Who's not invited, then? - Hey! 36 00:02:11,227 --> 00:02:14,754 What's going on, cupcake? Excited about the party tonight. 37 00:02:14,864 --> 00:02:19,233 Oh! Oh, you're coming? I was just about to tell you. 38 00:02:19,302 --> 00:02:21,030 Jerry already told me. 39 00:02:21,303 --> 00:02:24,204 Can't wait to see how tiny your costume is. 40 00:02:25,440 --> 00:02:26,498 What time does it start? 41 00:02:26,575 --> 00:02:27,837 7:00. 42 00:02:31,446 --> 00:02:32,776 Check this out. 43 00:02:32,847 --> 00:02:34,246 These are all the possible routes 44 00:02:34,315 --> 00:02:37,284 from Greg Pikitis' house to the statue. 45 00:02:37,985 --> 00:02:41,421 That looks like something you would find on the wall of a serial killer. 46 00:02:41,656 --> 00:02:43,453 In a way, that's a compliment. 47 00:02:43,524 --> 00:02:45,252 - Shows dedication. - Mmm. 48 00:02:45,458 --> 00:02:49,417 What's the big deal, anyway? I mean, a kid TPs some statue. 49 00:02:49,496 --> 00:02:51,225 And all the trees and all the benches. 50 00:02:51,298 --> 00:02:53,698 It takes us, like, 10 days to clean his mess up. 51 00:02:53,767 --> 00:02:57,065 But more importantly, Greg Pikitis sucks, and I wanna destroy him. 52 00:02:58,237 --> 00:03:01,604 Okay. Well, if you destroy him early, please come by. 53 00:03:01,674 --> 00:03:02,868 I will. 54 00:03:03,709 --> 00:03:06,439 Hey! How is someone gonna be able to get through that door? 55 00:03:06,679 --> 00:03:07,703 Oh. 56 00:03:07,780 --> 00:03:10,942 Oh! What the... Are you kidding me? 57 00:03:11,015 --> 00:03:13,279 Jerry! Relax. Here. 58 00:03:13,418 --> 00:03:16,876 Uh, William Percy. One of Pawnee's greatest mayors. 59 00:03:16,955 --> 00:03:21,288 And a true hero. During the Pawnee Bread Factory fire of 1922, 60 00:03:21,358 --> 00:03:23,349 he ran back into a burning building 61 00:03:23,427 --> 00:03:26,988 and saved the beloved secret recipe for Pawnee Pumpernickel. 62 00:03:27,064 --> 00:03:28,759 Didn't, like, 30 people die in that fire? 63 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:31,699 He wasn't Superman. 64 00:03:31,767 --> 00:03:34,930 He looks like Ron Swanson. Is that who this is based on? 65 00:03:35,004 --> 00:03:36,801 No. It's based on William Percy. 66 00:03:37,173 --> 00:03:39,141 Were you listening to what I just said? 67 00:03:39,208 --> 00:03:40,470 Yes. 68 00:03:40,543 --> 00:03:42,010 Okay, Andy. Good news. 69 00:03:42,078 --> 00:03:44,136 You're officially on the Parks Department payroll. 70 00:03:44,212 --> 00:03:45,577 $8 an hour. 71 00:03:46,281 --> 00:03:47,873 Commit this to memory. 72 00:03:48,216 --> 00:03:50,514 You see him, you stop him. 73 00:03:50,585 --> 00:03:52,052 Knock his head off if you have to. 74 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:53,451 - Don't do that. - Don't do that. 75 00:03:53,521 --> 00:03:55,681 But I give you permission to use excessive force. 76 00:03:55,756 --> 00:03:56,745 Don't use excessive force. 77 00:03:56,824 --> 00:03:58,052 Don't go overboard. 78 00:03:58,125 --> 00:04:00,184 Just stop him. By any means necessary. 79 00:04:00,261 --> 00:04:01,785 - No. - No. 80 00:04:01,862 --> 00:04:02,886 Just stop him. 81 00:04:03,197 --> 00:04:05,256 You know what I mean? 82 00:04:05,332 --> 00:04:07,595 A week ago I had nothing. 83 00:04:08,334 --> 00:04:12,202 Now, I have a part-time job. I'm gonna make $32 tonight. 84 00:04:13,740 --> 00:04:16,140 I owe Leslie everything I have. 85 00:04:16,209 --> 00:04:19,076 Which, after tonight, will be $39. 86 00:04:23,715 --> 00:04:25,148 Hello, Ann. 87 00:04:25,217 --> 00:04:26,241 Hey! 88 00:04:26,885 --> 00:04:27,874 Am I early? 89 00:04:27,953 --> 00:04:30,319 Nope, you are right on time. 90 00:04:30,389 --> 00:04:31,548 I like your costume. 91 00:04:31,622 --> 00:04:33,419 Oh, thanks. Raggedy Ann. 92 00:04:33,491 --> 00:04:34,981 It was one of my favorite books when I was a kid. 93 00:04:35,059 --> 00:04:36,651 Hmm. 94 00:04:38,396 --> 00:04:39,385 I'm a pirate. 95 00:04:39,463 --> 00:04:40,657 Right. 96 00:04:41,565 --> 00:04:43,964 Oh. Hey, Dr. Harris. How are you? 97 00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:45,501 - Ann. - Thanks. 98 00:04:45,568 --> 00:04:48,969 Um, this is Ron Swanson, from the Parks Department. 99 00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:52,475 I know him from that thing that I'm doing. This is Dr. Harris. 100 00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:55,240 - You're a doctor. - Yup. 101 00:04:56,512 --> 00:04:57,501 I meant your costume. 102 00:04:57,579 --> 00:04:58,910 I got it. 103 00:05:01,216 --> 00:05:04,379 Worlds colliding, always awkward. 104 00:05:07,488 --> 00:05:12,255 8:22 p.m. Suspect still with friends in parking lot. 105 00:05:12,794 --> 00:05:16,628 He looks obnoxious and irritating, even from a great distance. 106 00:05:19,232 --> 00:05:20,529 Uh, confirmed. 107 00:05:20,701 --> 00:05:22,168 Normally, I hate working on Halloween, 108 00:05:22,235 --> 00:05:25,363 but it's nice hanging out with Leslie. 109 00:05:25,939 --> 00:05:29,272 You know, she's focused, she's committed... 110 00:05:29,343 --> 00:05:33,176 And she made out with me in my cop car, which is pretty neat. 111 00:05:35,414 --> 00:05:37,814 I shouldn't have said that. That's clear to me now. 112 00:05:44,556 --> 00:05:45,682 Hey, guys. 113 00:05:46,791 --> 00:05:51,490 Hey. Remember my boyfriend Derek, and his boyfriend Ben? 114 00:05:51,696 --> 00:05:55,927 Yeah, hi. It's totally okay that you didn't wear a costume. 115 00:05:56,567 --> 00:05:58,194 I did. I'm a straight person. 116 00:05:59,370 --> 00:06:01,395 Hey, sorry I'm late. 117 00:06:01,472 --> 00:06:02,530 See? 118 00:06:04,108 --> 00:06:07,474 Sorry it's a little bit lame right now. But we'll get it going. 119 00:06:07,710 --> 00:06:10,144 I passed up a gay Halloween party to be here. 120 00:06:10,213 --> 00:06:12,738 Do you know how much fun gay Halloween parties are? 121 00:06:12,815 --> 00:06:14,305 Last year, I saw three Jonas Brothers 122 00:06:14,384 --> 00:06:16,648 make out with three Robert Pattinsons. 123 00:06:16,719 --> 00:06:18,583 It was amazing. 124 00:06:18,653 --> 00:06:20,518 So, you're the Mark that Ann is dating. 125 00:06:21,189 --> 00:06:22,588 I suppose that I am. 126 00:06:22,657 --> 00:06:25,592 We're very protective of Ann. We look out for her. 127 00:06:25,660 --> 00:06:28,288 So, you kind of dropped the ball with Andy then, didn't you? 128 00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:29,954 Aw! Andy. 129 00:06:30,031 --> 00:06:31,088 I loved Andy. 130 00:06:31,165 --> 00:06:33,190 Ah, such a sweetheart. Is Andy coming tonight? 131 00:06:33,267 --> 00:06:35,064 You should get back with Andy. 132 00:06:35,136 --> 00:06:37,400 Who needs a drink? I do. 133 00:06:38,472 --> 00:06:44,171 Suspect laughing with friends and playing with his stupid skateboard 134 00:06:44,244 --> 00:06:46,769 in a snide, turdish manner. 135 00:06:47,247 --> 00:06:48,236 Turdish? 136 00:06:48,314 --> 00:06:49,941 Yes. Like a turd. 137 00:06:50,483 --> 00:06:52,280 Like a little turd. 138 00:06:52,352 --> 00:06:55,787 Hey, listen, your scare tactics clearly worked. 139 00:06:55,854 --> 00:06:57,685 You got Andy guarding the statue. 140 00:06:57,856 --> 00:06:59,210 Why don't we go to Ann's party? 141 00:06:59,691 --> 00:07:01,090 It'll be fun. 142 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:02,422 Oh. Uh... 143 00:07:02,736 --> 00:07:04,238 We wanted to cover that block anyway. 144 00:07:04,263 --> 00:07:05,491 Wanted a police presence on it, 145 00:07:05,517 --> 00:07:09,086 so, this is within the... Confines of... 146 00:07:09,116 --> 00:07:10,022 Sure, let's go. 147 00:07:10,048 --> 00:07:11,845 - Yeah? Okay. - Yeah. We'll go by my office 148 00:07:11,867 --> 00:07:13,494 and pick up my costume. - Got it. 149 00:07:13,525 --> 00:07:15,230 Can't we just fire a warning shot over his head 150 00:07:15,257 --> 00:07:16,781 as we drive by? - No, babe. Don't touch that. 151 00:07:16,816 --> 00:07:21,156 Leaving location. Look at stupid suspect. 152 00:07:21,853 --> 00:07:23,047 I hate suspect. 153 00:07:24,189 --> 00:07:25,451 Where are my keys? 154 00:07:25,524 --> 00:07:26,752 Looks like it's open. 155 00:07:26,825 --> 00:07:28,315 - Really? - Yeah. 156 00:07:38,302 --> 00:07:39,428 Pikitis! 157 00:07:43,521 --> 00:07:45,921 We've been tailing that kid for a couple of hours. 158 00:07:45,990 --> 00:07:47,890 I mean, it must have been somebody else. 159 00:07:47,959 --> 00:07:49,620 It was Pikitis. 160 00:07:51,129 --> 00:07:52,494 Believe me now? 161 00:07:52,830 --> 00:07:54,922 That doesn't mean anything to me. 162 00:07:55,165 --> 00:07:56,598 This is a peach pit. 163 00:07:56,965 --> 00:07:57,759 Okay. 164 00:07:57,792 --> 00:08:00,260 He was eating a peach when I went to go talk to him. 165 00:08:00,303 --> 00:08:01,930 - Mmm-hmm? - This is his ace of spades. 166 00:08:02,005 --> 00:08:04,337 This is his calling card. This is what he leaves all his victims. 167 00:08:04,407 --> 00:08:06,294 And it's still warm. Okay, go and arrest him. 168 00:08:06,311 --> 00:08:07,499 And send this to the lab. 169 00:08:07,524 --> 00:08:09,321 We don't have a lab. 170 00:08:09,912 --> 00:08:10,901 Hi, April. 171 00:08:11,247 --> 00:08:14,440 Okay, you're underage. 172 00:08:14,850 --> 00:08:16,477 - You're not. - Hey. 173 00:08:17,719 --> 00:08:19,084 Yeah, I'm gonna leave. 174 00:08:19,154 --> 00:08:20,246 Oh. Okay. 175 00:08:20,321 --> 00:08:21,515 This isn't that fun. 176 00:08:21,589 --> 00:08:22,681 Didn't need to tell me that. 177 00:08:22,757 --> 00:08:24,251 I'm gonna take this home. 178 00:08:24,319 --> 00:08:26,269 Nobody was drinking it, so I'm gonna take it. 179 00:08:26,308 --> 00:08:29,105 - Okay. - Gonna take this, too. 180 00:08:29,133 --> 00:08:30,430 Been meaning to read it. 181 00:08:34,168 --> 00:08:36,068 Okay, this isn't strictly legal. 182 00:08:36,136 --> 00:08:38,366 We can talk to him for maybe an hour, and then I gotta let him go. 183 00:08:38,438 --> 00:08:40,803 You talk to him first. You have a scary face. 184 00:08:40,873 --> 00:08:42,636 - Hey. - No, in a good way. 185 00:08:42,708 --> 00:08:44,471 - Scary cute. - Yeah? 186 00:08:44,544 --> 00:08:46,283 - Go talk to him. - Okay. 187 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:49,305 I didn't do this, man. I promise. 188 00:08:49,382 --> 00:08:52,588 Now, son, I'm a police officer. Okay? You shouldn't lie to me. 189 00:08:52,651 --> 00:08:55,279 I'm not. I've never been here before. 190 00:08:55,754 --> 00:08:56,972 And why would I do this? 191 00:08:57,155 --> 00:08:59,461 Because you've had run-ins with Miss Knope in the past. 192 00:09:01,017 --> 00:09:02,075 Just a second. 193 00:09:03,962 --> 00:09:06,452 - Yeah? - Ask him about the peach pit. 194 00:09:06,931 --> 00:09:10,128 This isn't one-way glass, you know. I can see you. 195 00:09:11,584 --> 00:09:13,690 You know, I like Knope. 196 00:09:13,771 --> 00:09:15,864 I screw with her 'cause she gets all riled up, 197 00:09:15,940 --> 00:09:18,271 and her face gets all scrunched up like this. 198 00:09:18,508 --> 00:09:21,078 But I like her. She's all right. 199 00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:24,570 - You see? - What? 200 00:09:25,048 --> 00:09:27,278 I spent the whole day decorating this place, 201 00:09:27,350 --> 00:09:29,180 and everybody's in the kitchen. 202 00:09:29,251 --> 00:09:30,980 Why is everyone always in the kitchen? 203 00:09:31,053 --> 00:09:32,520 I think it's going fine. 204 00:09:33,155 --> 00:09:34,383 It's so quiet. 205 00:09:35,023 --> 00:09:37,048 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 206 00:09:37,125 --> 00:09:40,389 This is a total failure. This party is a failure. 207 00:09:40,461 --> 00:09:41,758 - Oh, my God. - No, no. 208 00:09:41,829 --> 00:09:43,854 It's not a failure, Ann. Come on. 209 00:09:43,931 --> 00:09:48,334 Ann, do you have any Mounds? Because all I can find are Almond Joys. 210 00:09:48,402 --> 00:09:50,370 And almonds give me the squirts. 211 00:09:51,906 --> 00:09:54,271 Hey, I'm here. Statue's fine. 212 00:09:55,208 --> 00:09:58,837 "Crappy Hallowieners. " That's hilarious. Where's the kid? 213 00:09:58,912 --> 00:10:01,972 In the conference room. Trying to hide his obvious guilt. 214 00:10:02,048 --> 00:10:04,515 Leslie, I don't know what to tell you. I don't think he did it. 215 00:10:04,583 --> 00:10:06,881 Yeah, he did. And we need a confession. 216 00:10:07,586 --> 00:10:10,987 Okay. Andy and I are going to take a walk. 217 00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:14,788 And it's gonna be just you, Pikitis, and these pliers. 218 00:10:15,094 --> 00:10:16,526 Look, I'm not gonna torture this kid. 219 00:10:16,594 --> 00:10:18,755 Nobody said torture. 220 00:10:18,830 --> 00:10:21,196 Why don't you let me take a run at him, boss? 221 00:10:21,266 --> 00:10:25,635 In order to think like one of these guys, you have to think like them. 222 00:10:26,371 --> 00:10:28,270 Yeah. He's never seen you before. 223 00:10:28,739 --> 00:10:30,866 So imply that you're someone very important 224 00:10:30,941 --> 00:10:33,102 and that you can make his life hell. 225 00:10:36,914 --> 00:10:38,381 Greg Pikitis? 226 00:10:39,383 --> 00:10:42,749 Would you like some boiling hot coffee in your face? 227 00:10:46,722 --> 00:10:48,485 My name is Bert Macklin. 228 00:10:49,191 --> 00:10:51,897 I'm with the FBI. 229 00:10:52,093 --> 00:10:54,721 Ooh. Are these the same kind of chips? 230 00:10:54,796 --> 00:10:57,094 Ann! What's up, gorgeous! 231 00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:58,354 Perfect. 232 00:10:58,433 --> 00:11:00,060 Get your Raggedy ass over here, girl. 233 00:11:00,135 --> 00:11:02,126 Hey, Tom. Mad Hatter? 234 00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:03,669 T- Pain, baby! 235 00:11:03,737 --> 00:11:06,865 She poppin', she rollin', she rollin' 236 00:11:06,941 --> 00:11:11,037 She climbin' that pole and I'm in love with a stripper 237 00:11:11,679 --> 00:11:14,546 This is not a stripper. It's my wife, Wendy. You remember her? 238 00:11:14,615 --> 00:11:17,048 - Hi. Thank you so much for inviting us. - Yes, hi. Sure. 239 00:11:17,116 --> 00:11:20,051 She's a surgeon at County General, and she's super hot. 240 00:11:20,253 --> 00:11:21,914 Well, thank you for being a doctor 241 00:11:21,988 --> 00:11:23,683 and not coming dressed as a doctor. 242 00:11:23,923 --> 00:11:26,915 Oh, my God. Who'd be boring enough to do that? 243 00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:30,489 Ann, what happened here? Did you tell everyone 244 00:11:30,562 --> 00:11:32,621 they're gonna have to get a bone marrow transplant tomorrow? 245 00:11:32,698 --> 00:11:34,666 They look miserable. This party's a disaster. 246 00:11:34,733 --> 00:11:36,462 - No, it's not. - Yes, it is. 247 00:11:36,535 --> 00:11:38,526 - Don't worry about it. We can fix this. - Totally. 248 00:11:38,770 --> 00:11:40,031 Give us a second. 249 00:11:42,073 --> 00:11:44,598 - Looks like Andy's wearing him down. - Shut up! 250 00:11:44,675 --> 00:11:46,108 I'm gonna go finish him off. 251 00:11:47,111 --> 00:11:49,511 That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. 252 00:11:49,580 --> 00:11:51,206 Why don't you just shut up for a second? 253 00:11:51,281 --> 00:11:52,270 What's going on in here? 254 00:11:52,349 --> 00:11:54,977 He's a jerk. He's being such a jerk. 255 00:11:55,051 --> 00:11:57,212 That's an awful thing to say to a human being! 256 00:11:57,287 --> 00:11:58,276 Are you crying? 257 00:11:58,355 --> 00:12:00,084 No, I am not crying, okay? 258 00:12:00,156 --> 00:12:01,646 I'm allergic to jerks! 259 00:12:01,725 --> 00:12:02,749 Okay. Andy, out. 260 00:12:02,826 --> 00:12:05,316 Fine, and I don't even care! It's stupid... 261 00:12:06,495 --> 00:12:09,123 Okay. The gloves are coming off. 262 00:12:11,700 --> 00:12:14,362 What's that? I think you know what that is. 263 00:12:14,902 --> 00:12:18,269 When I came to visit you at the school, you were eating a peach. 264 00:12:18,339 --> 00:12:19,636 Then my office gets vandalized, 265 00:12:19,707 --> 00:12:21,902 and somebody leaves a peach pit on my desk? 266 00:12:22,110 --> 00:12:25,602 I don't think that's a coincidence, Greg. 267 00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:26,976 Wow, you nailed me. 268 00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:29,944 I mean, there's no way that two different people 269 00:12:30,017 --> 00:12:31,609 could have eaten the same fruit 270 00:12:31,685 --> 00:12:34,483 in the same day, in the same area of Indiana. 271 00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:39,483 Never mind that I was actually eating a plum when you saw me earlier. 272 00:12:44,163 --> 00:12:46,427 I know you did this. I don't care what you say. 273 00:12:46,832 --> 00:12:48,663 I don't care that you were in the parking lot all night. 274 00:12:48,734 --> 00:12:49,962 Somehow you found a way to get in here... 275 00:12:50,036 --> 00:12:51,366 Wait, wait, wait. 276 00:12:51,436 --> 00:12:52,994 How did you know that I was in the parking lot all night? 277 00:12:53,071 --> 00:12:55,505 Because I followed you, genius! 278 00:12:55,940 --> 00:12:59,774 If you followed me all night then you know that it wasn't me. 279 00:13:00,011 --> 00:13:01,774 Knope, what is your problem? 280 00:13:01,846 --> 00:13:03,244 Look, I have been very civil. 281 00:13:03,313 --> 00:13:05,247 But I will waterboard you. 282 00:13:05,315 --> 00:13:06,475 No, no. 283 00:13:07,651 --> 00:13:09,084 I don't think she would make a good cop. 284 00:13:09,153 --> 00:13:11,621 I would be frightened to live in a town 285 00:13:11,688 --> 00:13:13,485 that she's the cop of, frankly. 286 00:13:14,358 --> 00:13:15,722 What are you doing? 287 00:13:15,792 --> 00:13:17,726 Ann, do you want me to liven things up or not? 288 00:13:17,775 --> 00:13:19,504 - Of course I do. - All right, then relax. 289 00:13:19,595 --> 00:13:22,325 And turn off all the lights that don't have colored bulbs. 290 00:13:25,101 --> 00:13:28,900 All right, y'all! Take the pigs in the blanket and put them to sleep! 291 00:13:28,970 --> 00:13:31,200 It's time to get wild! 292 00:13:31,273 --> 00:13:34,299 Get this furniture out of here, y'all, we're making a dance floor. 293 00:13:35,477 --> 00:13:39,606 Come on, y'all. Put the turkey wraps down. We're about to get wild. 294 00:13:43,417 --> 00:13:45,681 Ron Swanson's in the building, y'all! 295 00:13:50,757 --> 00:13:53,123 His mom's gonna be here soon. Please, Dave, just arrest him. 296 00:13:53,193 --> 00:13:54,182 On what charge? 297 00:13:54,260 --> 00:13:55,887 Just handcuff him to something. 298 00:13:55,962 --> 00:13:57,987 Greggy? Greg! 299 00:13:58,431 --> 00:14:00,865 - Gregsy! - Mom! 300 00:14:01,367 --> 00:14:05,359 Mrs. Pikitis? Hi, I'm Leslie Knope, this is Officer Sanderson. 301 00:14:05,437 --> 00:14:07,168 Bert Macklin, FBI. 302 00:14:07,205 --> 00:14:08,505 What the hell do you think you're doing? 303 00:14:08,540 --> 00:14:11,601 You can't just hold a 16-year-old kid against his will. 304 00:14:11,629 --> 00:14:13,893 Well, we were trying to question him about this vandalism. 305 00:14:13,939 --> 00:14:15,667 - Do you have any evidence? - Yes. 306 00:14:15,696 --> 00:14:18,426 - No. No. We don't. - Two words, peach pit. 307 00:14:18,916 --> 00:14:21,316 - Peach pit? - His DNA is all over it, I assume. 308 00:14:21,385 --> 00:14:23,353 - We don't know that. - We can get it tested. 309 00:14:23,421 --> 00:14:25,184 - We can't. - And if it matches your DNA, 310 00:14:25,256 --> 00:14:26,688 then you're going away for a long time. - It won't. 311 00:14:26,756 --> 00:14:28,280 Is this a joke? 312 00:14:29,493 --> 00:14:31,930 - No. - I'm calling your shift commander. 313 00:14:32,129 --> 00:14:34,354 Monday morning, I am calling your boss. 314 00:14:34,531 --> 00:14:36,294 I don't know who to call about you... 315 00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:38,050 The President of the United States of America. 316 00:14:38,089 --> 00:14:40,614 Fine. And if any of you ever come near my son again, 317 00:14:40,636 --> 00:14:43,537 I swear to God I will sue you and everyone in this building. 318 00:14:44,673 --> 00:14:46,197 Come on, honey. 319 00:14:48,511 --> 00:14:51,001 Let them think they've lost us. Then we're... 320 00:14:51,079 --> 00:14:52,103 Where are you going? 321 00:14:52,180 --> 00:14:56,173 I gotta go tell my boss why I illegally detained a teenager. 322 00:14:56,251 --> 00:14:57,343 I shouldn't have gotten involved with this. 323 00:14:57,418 --> 00:15:01,013 It's just... It's just bad police work. 324 00:15:01,822 --> 00:15:05,451 Yeah, it was bad FBI work, too. My bad. 325 00:15:14,849 --> 00:15:18,494 Tonight, the "T" in T-Pain stands for Tom Haverford! 326 00:15:18,752 --> 00:15:21,812 Nurses versus doctors. On my mark, 327 00:15:21,889 --> 00:15:25,483 three, two, one. - Go! 328 00:15:25,558 --> 00:15:27,048 - Vodka! - Go! 329 00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:35,252 Son. That is one hell of a costume. 330 00:15:35,502 --> 00:15:36,729 Thanks. 331 00:15:37,135 --> 00:15:40,403 Damn, that's good. Nice party. 332 00:15:40,639 --> 00:15:41,833 Thanks. 333 00:15:42,808 --> 00:15:44,332 Why would anyone do this? 334 00:15:45,010 --> 00:15:48,911 Kids are kids. Everybody does stupid stuff like this in high school. 335 00:15:48,980 --> 00:15:50,004 I didn't. 336 00:15:50,081 --> 00:15:52,379 Yeah, but you were probably a nerd, though, huh? 337 00:15:52,450 --> 00:15:54,941 - Hey. - Leslie, I mean that in a good way. 338 00:15:55,019 --> 00:15:57,987 Look at you now. You're the coolest person I've ever met. 339 00:15:58,489 --> 00:16:00,395 I even met John Cougar Mellencamp once. 340 00:16:01,258 --> 00:16:03,852 Andy, why don't you go home? I'll finish cleaning this up. 341 00:16:03,927 --> 00:16:06,122 No way. I mean, you got me a job 342 00:16:06,196 --> 00:16:07,663 and you're helping me turn my life around. 343 00:16:07,731 --> 00:16:08,857 I go home when you go home. 344 00:16:10,534 --> 00:16:14,367 Uh, it's city planning. It's mostly like regulating things 345 00:16:14,436 --> 00:16:17,166 and just making sure people obey the city code. 346 00:16:17,239 --> 00:16:19,503 You wanna get out of here? Go back to my place? 347 00:16:20,376 --> 00:16:23,709 What? No. I'm dating Ann. 348 00:16:24,412 --> 00:16:26,903 Good. That was a test. You passed. 349 00:16:27,115 --> 00:16:31,051 Let's celebrate you passing the test, over a drink, at my place. 350 00:16:31,119 --> 00:16:32,484 No. Still no. 351 00:16:33,021 --> 00:16:36,581 You passed the second test. But we're still watching you. 352 00:16:42,029 --> 00:16:45,294 So, you wanna get out of here, go back to my place? 353 00:16:49,101 --> 00:16:50,796 Hey. Ron. 354 00:16:51,671 --> 00:16:52,797 Hello, Wendy. 355 00:16:53,072 --> 00:16:55,165 Well, you and Tom really turned the party around. 356 00:16:55,241 --> 00:16:58,335 We have a good time together. 357 00:16:59,211 --> 00:17:03,772 Tom told me that you know about our green card marriage. 358 00:17:03,848 --> 00:17:08,342 And I just want to say thank you for not telling anyone. 359 00:17:09,988 --> 00:17:13,787 No worries. I'd hate for you to have to go back to Canada. 360 00:17:16,126 --> 00:17:19,653 All that socialized medicine up there. 361 00:17:20,531 --> 00:17:22,089 Wendylicious. Where have you been? 362 00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:25,999 I was just thanking Ron. For, you know, not telling anyone. 363 00:17:26,336 --> 00:17:28,668 Oh, yeah. Thank you. That was cool of you. 364 00:17:28,738 --> 00:17:30,706 You know, you won't have to keep it a secret much longer, 365 00:17:30,773 --> 00:17:34,004 because in a few months we can split up without raising any eyebrows. 366 00:17:34,077 --> 00:17:36,909 And we'll invite you to the divorce party. 367 00:17:38,947 --> 00:17:41,142 Huh, maybe Greg is innocent. 368 00:17:41,483 --> 00:17:43,451 If that's the case, then there's another kid out there 369 00:17:43,518 --> 00:17:44,542 who's tormenting me. 370 00:17:44,853 --> 00:17:46,013 Maybe. 371 00:17:46,455 --> 00:17:47,444 I believe that you're innocent 372 00:17:47,522 --> 00:17:50,012 until proven guilty in this country. 373 00:17:50,091 --> 00:17:51,888 That's the cornerstone of democracy. 374 00:17:52,126 --> 00:17:53,218 Sure. 375 00:17:54,729 --> 00:17:57,823 On the other hand, Greg Pikitis is a little punk. 376 00:17:57,898 --> 00:17:59,297 And I kind of wanna TP his house. 377 00:17:59,367 --> 00:18:00,993 Let's do it. 378 00:18:02,669 --> 00:18:06,867 Wait, wait! Wait, wait! This is fun! This is fun! What do I do? 379 00:18:06,940 --> 00:18:08,305 You just grab the toilet paper, 380 00:18:08,375 --> 00:18:09,672 unroll it a little bit like this, 381 00:18:09,743 --> 00:18:11,074 and throw it on the tree. 382 00:18:11,510 --> 00:18:14,843 This is for Mayor Percy! This is for the Parks Department office! 383 00:18:14,913 --> 00:18:17,069 This is for pooping on the handball court! 384 00:18:21,286 --> 00:18:24,561 Yeah! This is really fun! But I don't condone it! 385 00:18:28,126 --> 00:18:29,559 - Bye, guys. - Bye. 386 00:18:29,627 --> 00:18:32,562 You're the man, Swanson. Thanks for coming. 387 00:18:32,630 --> 00:18:33,756 Ann! 388 00:18:33,831 --> 00:18:36,349 Dude. Thank you so much. 389 00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:38,561 - I don't even know what to say. - Don't mention it. 390 00:18:38,635 --> 00:18:43,391 Also, Tom, your wife is super cool. So, well done. 391 00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:44,558 Yeah, she's pretty great, right? 392 00:18:44,604 --> 00:18:47,970 Yeah. I don't know how you landed that chick, but she's awesome. 393 00:18:48,010 --> 00:18:49,170 Nice work. You're lucky. 394 00:18:49,245 --> 00:18:51,145 - Hi, you ready to go? - Yes. 395 00:18:51,213 --> 00:18:53,147 All right. Thank you so much. We had so much fun. 396 00:18:53,215 --> 00:18:54,204 Bye, thank you. 397 00:18:54,283 --> 00:18:57,013 About to head home and have crazy sex. 398 00:18:57,086 --> 00:18:58,485 That's cool. I don't... 399 00:18:58,554 --> 00:18:59,645 Yeah! 400 00:19:02,824 --> 00:19:04,223 Five-O! Five-O! 401 00:19:06,861 --> 00:19:08,852 I see you in there, Andy. 402 00:19:09,531 --> 00:19:11,623 Leslie? What are you doing? 403 00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:14,028 Oh, boy. 404 00:19:15,436 --> 00:19:17,336 That's them, Officer! Right there! 405 00:19:17,404 --> 00:19:19,429 Oh, my God. Oh, no. 406 00:19:19,506 --> 00:19:21,474 I'm so sorry, I think we have the wrong house. 407 00:19:21,542 --> 00:19:23,372 Why are you doing this? 408 00:19:23,443 --> 00:19:24,643 It's really hard to explain, 409 00:19:24,677 --> 00:19:26,655 but we were trying to get revenge on this kid, Greg Pikitis, 410 00:19:26,690 --> 00:19:27,679 and we thought this was his house, 411 00:19:27,714 --> 00:19:29,045 but I guess we got the address wrong. 412 00:19:29,115 --> 00:19:30,383 I'm Greg's mom. 413 00:19:31,250 --> 00:19:32,774 - You are? - Yes. 414 00:19:33,286 --> 00:19:34,275 Oh. 415 00:19:34,654 --> 00:19:37,747 Did he hire a fake mom again, to get him out of trouble? 416 00:19:37,823 --> 00:19:39,450 - What? - Whenever he gets in trouble, 417 00:19:39,524 --> 00:19:41,755 he goes on Craigslist and hires a woman 418 00:19:41,793 --> 00:19:43,742 to play his mother and bail him out. 419 00:19:43,895 --> 00:19:45,760 Oh, that little SOB! 420 00:19:45,831 --> 00:19:47,581 Greg! Gregory! 421 00:19:49,066 --> 00:19:50,090 I knew it! 422 00:19:50,167 --> 00:19:51,293 Oh, my God. 423 00:19:51,368 --> 00:19:54,269 Dude. That kid is amazing. 424 00:19:56,340 --> 00:19:59,172 He's not in his room. I don't know where he is. 425 00:20:00,276 --> 00:20:01,265 I do. 426 00:20:01,377 --> 00:20:03,538 Make sure you... I need more, man. 427 00:20:04,147 --> 00:20:05,512 - Hey! - Yeah! 428 00:20:06,649 --> 00:20:07,673 - Let them go! - Yeah! 429 00:20:07,751 --> 00:20:09,150 Stay on the leader! 430 00:20:09,219 --> 00:20:10,685 Cut it! 431 00:20:12,654 --> 00:20:14,815 I am gonna wring your neck! 432 00:20:14,990 --> 00:20:17,117 How did you get into the Parks Department? I have to know. 433 00:20:17,192 --> 00:20:18,750 Maybe the FBI can figure it out. 434 00:20:18,827 --> 00:20:22,387 I'm not even in the FBI, stupid. 435 00:20:22,463 --> 00:20:24,556 - Wow, you're amazing. - Hey! 436 00:20:24,632 --> 00:20:26,232 You're going to jail for a very long time. 437 00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:27,996 - You can't... - He's not gonna go to jail, you know. 438 00:20:28,069 --> 00:20:30,401 - He's a minor. - Well, we'll let the jury decide. 439 00:20:30,471 --> 00:20:32,200 There's not gonna be a jury... 440 00:20:32,273 --> 00:20:33,948 Then the judge will decide where he goes. 441 00:20:34,041 --> 00:20:35,405 Look. He's going to do probation, 442 00:20:35,475 --> 00:20:37,705 he's a minor. - Dave, just let me have this. 443 00:20:39,176 --> 00:20:40,575 Wow. Nice work, Knope. 444 00:20:40,644 --> 00:20:42,077 Yeah. That is amazing. 445 00:20:42,146 --> 00:20:46,121 Thanks. But the thing that's driving me nuts is, how did he do it? 446 00:20:47,550 --> 00:20:49,780 If you destroy him early, please come by. 447 00:20:49,852 --> 00:20:50,876 I will. 448 00:20:51,487 --> 00:20:53,614 How is someone gonna be able to get through that door? 449 00:20:53,689 --> 00:20:55,482 Oh! What the... Are you... 450 00:20:55,525 --> 00:20:58,531 I mean, we were here all afternoon. How did he get in? 451 00:21:00,061 --> 00:21:03,360 First of all, we always lock the doors when we leave. 452 00:21:03,431 --> 00:21:05,296 And Dave and I tailed Pikitis 453 00:21:05,367 --> 00:21:08,165 from the moment he left his house at 7:00 p.m. 454 00:21:08,236 --> 00:21:09,566 to the moment we came back here. 455 00:21:11,238 --> 00:21:12,500 Does he have a lookalike or something? 456 00:21:13,541 --> 00:21:15,941 Did he have an accomplice? I mean, did he have help? 457 00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:21,530 How did that little turd do it?