1 00:00:01,907 --> 00:00:04,074 And it's because of you, our teachers, 2 00:00:04,103 --> 00:00:07,038 that every one of these recreation classes in this catalog 3 00:00:07,118 --> 00:00:10,212 shines like a jewel in Pawnee's beautiful crown. 4 00:00:13,126 --> 00:00:15,027 Unfortunately, due to budget constraints, 5 00:00:15,096 --> 00:00:18,088 this year we will have to remove five jewels from that crown. 6 00:00:18,549 --> 00:00:21,211 Excuse me? Are you cutting our classes? 7 00:00:21,286 --> 00:00:25,655 Yeah. The city took away $1,000 from our budget. 8 00:00:25,723 --> 00:00:26,917 So, I'm very sorry. 9 00:00:26,991 --> 00:00:29,824 How will you decide which classes to cut? 10 00:00:29,894 --> 00:00:32,522 By attendance and student evaluations. 11 00:00:32,597 --> 00:00:35,122 So, just make sure your students leave with a smile. 12 00:00:35,199 --> 00:00:38,464 My class is called "Coping with Terminal Illness." 13 00:00:38,803 --> 00:00:41,136 Hopefully your attendance is good! 14 00:00:41,206 --> 00:00:43,674 Actually, no, hopefully it's bad. 15 00:00:44,643 --> 00:00:46,508 Nobody's more upset about this than me. 16 00:00:46,745 --> 00:00:49,771 I've been taking these rec center classes since I was in high school. 17 00:00:49,848 --> 00:00:52,749 It's where I learned hair braiding, and how to make biscuits, 18 00:00:52,818 --> 00:00:54,547 and French kissing. 19 00:00:54,753 --> 00:00:56,948 The French kissing was just from a boy in my biscuits class, 20 00:00:57,022 --> 00:00:59,320 but either way, lesson learned. 21 00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:22,306 Oh, my God! You have never been to Carnival? 22 00:01:22,382 --> 00:01:23,332 I want to go! 23 00:01:23,357 --> 00:01:24,928 We have to get tickets in February 24 00:01:24,984 --> 00:01:26,897 to go to Rio de Janeiro, Leslie Knope. 25 00:01:26,934 --> 00:01:27,803 Okay. 26 00:01:27,908 --> 00:01:30,843 I am on a date with Justin in Indianapolis. 27 00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,256 We've only been out a few times, 28 00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:33,770 but every one of them has been amazing. 29 00:01:33,819 --> 00:01:34,911 Cheers. 30 00:01:34,962 --> 00:01:37,021 Last time, we had a private tour 31 00:01:37,098 --> 00:01:40,189 and cocktails at the Indianapolis Aquarium. 32 00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:42,802 That fish over there kind of reminds me of my mom. 33 00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:43,996 Why? 34 00:01:44,071 --> 00:01:46,141 It's just being really withholding. 35 00:01:46,374 --> 00:01:49,070 Justin is definitely the most interesting guy I've ever dated. 36 00:01:49,143 --> 00:01:51,338 All I did was a little paperwork. 37 00:01:51,412 --> 00:01:53,607 He's being modest, it is thanks to him 38 00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:55,512 my family remains in this country. 39 00:01:55,583 --> 00:01:56,880 And it was all pro bono. 40 00:01:56,951 --> 00:01:58,214 Oh, Justin. 41 00:01:58,286 --> 00:01:59,810 You've got to try this. 42 00:02:02,052 --> 00:02:03,316 Oh, that's really good. 43 00:02:03,334 --> 00:02:05,499 - Isn't it great? - Mm-hmm. 44 00:02:05,961 --> 00:02:07,121 Is it? 45 00:02:07,151 --> 00:02:08,873 I'm teasing, I'm teasing. It's chicken. 46 00:02:10,432 --> 00:02:12,125 Would you like to try the camel stomach? 47 00:02:12,173 --> 00:02:13,231 No. 48 00:02:14,936 --> 00:02:16,460 Oh this is me. 49 00:02:16,562 --> 00:02:18,373 So, when am I gonna see you again? 50 00:02:18,707 --> 00:02:19,799 Oh! 51 00:02:19,875 --> 00:02:21,934 You know what, I'm gonna be near Pawnee on Tuesday. 52 00:02:22,010 --> 00:02:24,275 Excellent, yeah. I'll plan something exciting. 53 00:02:24,881 --> 00:02:29,375 In fact, our date in Pawnee is gonna blow Indianapolis out of the water. 54 00:02:29,585 --> 00:02:32,952 All right. I'm gonna hold you to that. 55 00:02:33,022 --> 00:02:34,785 - Good! You better. - I will! 56 00:02:38,060 --> 00:02:41,552 I've racked my brain and I can't come up with one exciting idea. 57 00:02:41,631 --> 00:02:43,656 I mean, he once ate fried cockatoo 58 00:02:43,733 --> 00:02:45,724 with a member of the Thai Royal Family. 59 00:02:46,035 --> 00:02:47,866 Well, maybe just have him over 60 00:02:47,937 --> 00:02:51,237 and cook him some chicken and tell him it's Pawnee cockatoo. 61 00:02:52,443 --> 00:02:54,240 A dinner party! That's genius. 62 00:02:54,845 --> 00:02:56,904 I'll invite all my most interesting friends over, 63 00:02:56,980 --> 00:02:58,311 we'll have this big rambling party. 64 00:02:58,381 --> 00:03:00,212 No, I actually meant more like a one-on-one thing. 65 00:03:00,284 --> 00:03:02,844 I know what you meant, but I took your idea and I made it better. 66 00:03:02,920 --> 00:03:04,387 It's called a think tank, Ann. 67 00:03:04,455 --> 00:03:05,444 - What is? - Our lunches. 68 00:03:05,522 --> 00:03:06,682 Our lunches are like think tanks. 69 00:03:06,757 --> 00:03:08,247 Okay, I want you to come over to my house 70 00:03:08,325 --> 00:03:09,553 at 2:00 and help me get ready. 71 00:03:09,626 --> 00:03:12,094 And make sure that Mark is coming. So much work to do! 72 00:03:12,162 --> 00:03:14,392 You're my best friend. Now, get out of here! 73 00:03:16,568 --> 00:03:18,331 How many courses will there be? 74 00:03:18,970 --> 00:03:20,597 - Three. - Hmm... 75 00:03:20,672 --> 00:03:23,505 Four. Not including dessert. 76 00:03:23,775 --> 00:03:25,299 So, five courses. 77 00:03:25,356 --> 00:03:27,654 Yes. Now, it will be five courses. 78 00:03:27,745 --> 00:03:31,704 If I wanted to bring a large number of deviled eggs, 79 00:03:31,783 --> 00:03:34,513 but I didn't want to share them with anyone else, 80 00:03:34,586 --> 00:03:36,349 can you guarantee fridge space? 81 00:03:36,421 --> 00:03:38,116 Just be there at 8:00. 82 00:03:39,190 --> 00:03:41,819 Oh, hey, Tom! I'm having an A-list dinner party for Justin. 83 00:03:41,894 --> 00:03:43,259 And you, out of all my friends, 84 00:03:43,329 --> 00:03:45,160 come from the most distant and exotic land. 85 00:03:45,331 --> 00:03:47,561 South Carolina? 86 00:03:47,633 --> 00:03:50,261 Save it for the party. Can you make it? 87 00:03:50,369 --> 00:03:52,496 For Justin? Are you kidding? I'm there. 88 00:03:52,539 --> 00:03:54,530 Just don't invite any boring people like Jerry. 89 00:03:54,558 --> 00:03:55,971 - What are you guys talking about? - Nothing. 90 00:03:56,002 --> 00:03:57,233 - Don't worry about it. - What? 91 00:04:00,779 --> 00:04:02,440 - Leslie. Hey! - Hey! 92 00:04:02,515 --> 00:04:03,982 Check it out. Just practicing. 93 00:04:04,049 --> 00:04:06,541 Isn't that polish gonna get on people's butts when they sit down? 94 00:04:07,570 --> 00:04:08,271 No. 95 00:04:08,302 --> 00:04:09,889 - Okay, listen. I'm having a party. - Mmm-hmm. 96 00:04:09,923 --> 00:04:11,356 And I thought maybe you could help me 97 00:04:11,405 --> 00:04:13,635 with serving and taking people's coats. 98 00:04:13,676 --> 00:04:15,303 I'd pay you, like, 10 bucks an hour. 99 00:04:15,352 --> 00:04:18,452 My guardian angel! I would love to! Who's going to be there? 100 00:04:18,532 --> 00:04:19,619 Really fun people. 101 00:04:19,666 --> 00:04:22,474 Ron, Tom, Mark and Ann. 102 00:04:23,672 --> 00:04:25,271 That's great. What's the occasion? 103 00:04:25,338 --> 00:04:26,669 Justin is coming into town. 104 00:04:28,639 --> 00:04:31,842 Hey, it's me, Justin. Take my coat. But please, be careful. 105 00:04:31,873 --> 00:04:33,932 I got it from the king of Africa when we were 106 00:04:33,971 --> 00:04:36,499 walking on the Berlin Wall together. 107 00:04:37,392 --> 00:04:40,327 Really, Justin? What instruments do you play? 108 00:04:41,313 --> 00:04:44,214 Actually, he's a pretty sick keyboardist. 109 00:04:45,439 --> 00:04:47,270 Good. I'm good to go. That sounds great. 110 00:04:47,341 --> 00:04:49,366 - Great. All right. - I'll see you there. 111 00:04:49,844 --> 00:04:50,970 Afternoon, Andy. 112 00:04:51,001 --> 00:04:54,147 Hi, Kyle. You know, right before you sat down, 113 00:04:54,181 --> 00:04:56,050 I noticed, did you have some kind of stain 114 00:04:56,083 --> 00:04:57,698 on your ass, or something? What was that? 115 00:04:57,752 --> 00:04:58,952 What? 116 00:05:00,121 --> 00:05:02,112 No, no, no. You're good. 117 00:05:05,060 --> 00:05:06,118 - Hey, Ann. - Hey! 118 00:05:06,156 --> 00:05:07,531 Welcome to my house, for the very first time. 119 00:05:07,562 --> 00:05:10,725 I know! I can't believe you've never had me over. 120 00:05:18,340 --> 00:05:19,398 Now, I can believe it. 121 00:05:19,474 --> 00:05:22,034 I know, I know. It's a little messy. 122 00:05:22,110 --> 00:05:23,442 But I have a system. 123 00:05:23,513 --> 00:05:26,682 So, I just need you to help me put the finishing touches on everything. 124 00:05:27,183 --> 00:05:29,743 This newspaper's from November, 1986. 125 00:05:29,819 --> 00:05:33,380 Oh, the first rumblings of Iran-Contra! Don't throw that out! 126 00:05:33,856 --> 00:05:35,499 I think I need to call Child Services 127 00:05:35,537 --> 00:05:37,971 and have Leslie taken away from herself. 128 00:05:40,863 --> 00:05:43,354 Leslie, don't take this the wrong way, 129 00:05:43,407 --> 00:05:46,500 but your house is like a crazy person's garage. 130 00:05:48,149 --> 00:05:52,586 What do you need this birdhouse for? Can we get rid of it? 131 00:05:53,477 --> 00:05:55,570 - I might need it. - What about this one? 132 00:05:55,614 --> 00:05:58,322 Well, if two birds come along? 133 00:05:58,393 --> 00:05:59,268 Leslie. 134 00:05:59,290 --> 00:06:02,225 Andy's gonna come over soon, he can help us with all this stuff. 135 00:06:02,319 --> 00:06:07,325 Andy? No. No, no, no. You need a team of professionals to help. 136 00:06:11,762 --> 00:06:13,286 I have an idea. 137 00:06:14,365 --> 00:06:16,765 Hi, is this Maria Portlesman 138 00:06:16,834 --> 00:06:18,802 from "Organize Your Life, with Maria Portlesman"? 139 00:06:19,971 --> 00:06:22,030 - April, come here. - What? 140 00:06:22,106 --> 00:06:23,539 - Shake my hand. - Why? 141 00:06:23,608 --> 00:06:25,405 I can't tell if I've exfoliated too much. 142 00:06:25,476 --> 00:06:26,534 I don't want to creep Justin out. 143 00:06:26,611 --> 00:06:28,169 I want him to respect my handshake. 144 00:06:28,246 --> 00:06:29,645 Why do you care about him? 145 00:06:29,714 --> 00:06:33,445 Justin is hip. Pawnee is the opposite of hip. 146 00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:37,045 People in this town are just now getting into Nirvana. 147 00:06:37,121 --> 00:06:40,990 I don't have the heart to tell them what's going to happen to Kurt Cobain in 1994. 148 00:06:41,393 --> 00:06:42,792 Hey, Justin. 149 00:06:43,128 --> 00:06:44,527 Ew! 150 00:06:44,597 --> 00:06:46,394 It's like touching raw chicken. 151 00:06:46,565 --> 00:06:49,090 Damn it. Gonna have to re-foliate them. 152 00:06:50,803 --> 00:06:55,069 I'll need some help moving the boxes, but it's doable. 153 00:06:55,140 --> 00:06:57,199 Oh, thank God. How much do I owe you? 154 00:06:57,276 --> 00:07:01,212 Please. No charge. I just appreciate the chance 155 00:07:01,280 --> 00:07:04,977 to demonstrate how valuable my class is to the rec center. 156 00:07:05,318 --> 00:07:07,684 And I hope you'll keep that in mind. 157 00:07:07,754 --> 00:07:10,382 Oh! No, no, I insist on paying. 158 00:07:10,457 --> 00:07:13,187 No, no, I insist on demonstrating. 159 00:07:13,693 --> 00:07:15,490 This is not gonna affect my decision at all. 160 00:07:15,562 --> 00:07:17,120 Oh, of course not. 161 00:07:17,197 --> 00:07:18,528 Stop winking. 162 00:07:19,432 --> 00:07:22,128 Hey, Leslie, I forgot to ask you. What are you cooking? 163 00:07:22,202 --> 00:07:24,227 - Five courses. - Of what? 164 00:07:24,671 --> 00:07:26,366 - Huh? - Of what? 165 00:07:27,173 --> 00:07:28,333 Oh, God. 166 00:07:31,579 --> 00:07:33,911 So, how's it looking? It smells great. 167 00:07:33,981 --> 00:07:35,744 Okay, the appetizers are almost ready. 168 00:07:35,816 --> 00:07:38,046 And I think that they are a very good sampling 169 00:07:38,119 --> 00:07:39,882 of what my level one class does, 170 00:07:39,954 --> 00:07:41,319 which I hope you'll keep in mind 171 00:07:41,389 --> 00:07:42,822 when you're making your decisions. 172 00:07:42,890 --> 00:07:45,222 Tania, like I said over the phone... 173 00:07:45,292 --> 00:07:47,556 I know. It won't influence your decision. 174 00:07:47,628 --> 00:07:50,062 It's just that learning to cook is very important in this day and age. 175 00:07:50,131 --> 00:07:51,189 Is it? 176 00:07:54,657 --> 00:07:56,683 - Hey, Andy. - Hey! 177 00:07:56,734 --> 00:07:58,429 Are you gonna be all right, tonight? 178 00:07:58,503 --> 00:08:00,664 What, 'cause of Mark and Justin? 179 00:08:00,713 --> 00:08:03,636 They are just guests at a really awesome dinner party. 180 00:08:03,666 --> 00:08:04,949 And I will treat them as such. 181 00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:06,815 - That sounds very professional. - Thank you. 182 00:08:06,886 --> 00:08:08,911 I promise I will not spit in anyone's food, 183 00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:10,717 unless they should request that I do. 184 00:08:10,790 --> 00:08:11,848 Good. 185 00:08:11,924 --> 00:08:14,573 - Did I do this right? - I don't know. 186 00:08:16,262 --> 00:08:17,456 - Hey, Mark. - Hey. 187 00:08:17,530 --> 00:08:18,827 Welcome to my humble abode. 188 00:08:18,898 --> 00:08:23,529 Well, thank you. Whoa! This is way cleaner than the last time I was here. 189 00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:27,451 You've been here? Right. 190 00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:29,472 When was Mark here before? 191 00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:33,984 Oh! Sex. 192 00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:37,675 I can't wait to talk to Justin again. 193 00:08:37,751 --> 00:08:39,776 Last time he told me about how he snorkeled 194 00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,753 with whale sharks in Madagascar. 195 00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:46,815 That was after I told him that I sometimes go swimming at the Y. 196 00:08:48,163 --> 00:08:49,687 Oh, thank you, son. 197 00:08:50,331 --> 00:08:53,767 Leslie Knope. I believe you've arranged accommodations for these. 198 00:08:53,835 --> 00:08:54,927 Yes, I have. 199 00:08:55,003 --> 00:08:56,061 Hey, Ron Swanson. 200 00:08:56,137 --> 00:08:57,399 You didn't happen to hear about the incident 201 00:08:57,472 --> 00:08:58,700 with Mayor Gunderson's dog, did you? 202 00:08:58,773 --> 00:09:00,104 Oh, my God. It was a blood bath... 203 00:09:00,175 --> 00:09:01,233 No, no, no! No talking. 204 00:09:01,309 --> 00:09:04,029 Everybody stop talking until Justin gets here. 205 00:09:04,117 --> 00:09:06,117 Don't use up your stories. 206 00:09:06,748 --> 00:09:09,114 Well, I think somebody from Animal Services is gonna get canned. 207 00:09:09,152 --> 00:09:12,850 Oh, my God. What part of not talking do you not understand? 208 00:09:13,255 --> 00:09:15,689 Please, have a good time and shut your mouth. 209 00:09:15,758 --> 00:09:17,350 I just want this dinner party to go well. 210 00:09:17,560 --> 00:09:19,926 There are very few things I've asked for in this world. 211 00:09:19,995 --> 00:09:21,553 To build a new park from scratch. 212 00:09:21,630 --> 00:09:23,154 To eventually become president. 213 00:09:23,232 --> 00:09:25,530 And to one day solve a murder on a train. 214 00:09:25,601 --> 00:09:28,069 I think it's fair to add this to the list. 215 00:09:30,873 --> 00:09:34,604 Guys, Justin's here! That's Justin. Everybody start talking. 216 00:09:42,519 --> 00:09:44,282 - Hey! - Hey. 217 00:09:44,354 --> 00:09:45,685 - Hi. - Sorry I'm a little bit late. 218 00:09:45,755 --> 00:09:48,815 That's okay. Welcome to my very interesting party. 219 00:09:48,892 --> 00:09:52,123 Andy Dwyer! Can't wait to catch up with this guy. 220 00:09:52,164 --> 00:09:54,496 All right, Justin. May I take your coat, sir? 221 00:09:54,572 --> 00:09:56,369 Why, yeah. Thank you. 222 00:09:57,550 --> 00:09:59,950 I can't wait, I'm gonna get to hang out with all your friends tonight. 223 00:09:59,970 --> 00:10:01,562 I know, it's gonna be super fun. 224 00:10:01,594 --> 00:10:04,074 It's gonna be a blast. Really, really, just like the best, 225 00:10:04,108 --> 00:10:07,874 most exciting night of your life. I cannot over-hype it enough. 226 00:10:08,513 --> 00:10:10,413 - All right. Let's get started! - Okay! Good. Yeah. 227 00:10:10,481 --> 00:10:12,346 What's up, J? How you doing, man? 228 00:10:12,416 --> 00:10:13,678 - How are you? Justin. - I have the swine flu. 229 00:10:13,751 --> 00:10:15,241 - Oh... - No, she doesn't. 230 00:10:18,456 --> 00:10:19,980 - Yo. - Yo. 231 00:10:20,791 --> 00:10:21,951 Is that Justin's coat? 232 00:10:22,026 --> 00:10:23,789 Oh, yeah. Isn't it awesome? 233 00:10:23,861 --> 00:10:27,592 He got it in Cambodia, when he was hiking Mount Everest. 234 00:10:27,665 --> 00:10:29,223 Let's put chewed up gum in his pockets. 235 00:10:29,300 --> 00:10:30,875 That's genius. But I can't. 236 00:10:30,903 --> 00:10:32,264 Leslie's being super cool to me, 237 00:10:32,304 --> 00:10:34,748 and I can't screw over her boyfriend's jacket. 238 00:10:35,274 --> 00:10:37,401 I'll do it when you're not in the room then. 239 00:10:37,476 --> 00:10:39,626 That would be terrible. 240 00:10:41,647 --> 00:10:44,115 I'm being sarcastic. That would be awesome. 241 00:10:44,616 --> 00:10:46,709 God, India is so amazing. Let me tell you something. 242 00:10:46,785 --> 00:10:49,083 That is my absolute favorite place to travel. 243 00:10:49,154 --> 00:10:50,849 Where did you say your parents were from? 244 00:10:50,923 --> 00:10:52,550 The south part. 245 00:10:52,624 --> 00:10:55,560 The southern part's always the best part of anything. 246 00:10:55,628 --> 00:10:58,358 Have you ever been to the Kaniman Mosque, down in Tamil Nadu? 247 00:10:58,431 --> 00:11:01,400 Are you kidding? My uncle practically runs the place. 248 00:11:01,467 --> 00:11:03,332 I've prayed there. It's sick. 249 00:11:03,403 --> 00:11:05,098 Tell me everything, right now. 250 00:11:05,171 --> 00:11:07,639 One sec, I just got to hit the loo, 251 00:11:07,707 --> 00:11:10,073 as those bastard British lmperialists would say. 252 00:11:12,812 --> 00:11:15,372 The last time I was in India, I was eight years old 253 00:11:15,448 --> 00:11:17,780 and I stayed inside the whole time playing video games. 254 00:11:17,850 --> 00:11:18,942 I got to bone up. 255 00:11:20,019 --> 00:11:22,887 Fourth largest coal reserves in the world. 256 00:11:22,957 --> 00:11:25,425 This is the best Old Fashioned I have ever had. 257 00:11:25,492 --> 00:11:27,289 Where'd you find this bartender? 258 00:11:27,361 --> 00:11:29,295 Oh... I think... I don't know. 259 00:11:29,363 --> 00:11:31,263 Like, maybe the Yellow Pages. 260 00:11:31,332 --> 00:11:33,732 There's no way that you're paying him enough. 261 00:11:33,801 --> 00:11:35,826 Well, if you want, I could teach you the secret to great... 262 00:11:37,905 --> 00:11:40,203 - Leslie. - Ann, get over here! 263 00:11:40,274 --> 00:11:41,366 I'm here. Already. 264 00:11:41,442 --> 00:11:43,774 Good. Okay, do you think this party's going well? 265 00:11:43,844 --> 00:11:46,108 I mean, can you see Justin? Is he having fun? 266 00:11:46,180 --> 00:11:49,048 Justin is over there talking to Mark. Happily. 267 00:11:50,852 --> 00:11:52,217 Okay, good. Yeah, good. 268 00:11:52,287 --> 00:11:54,346 I'm just gonna casually make my... 269 00:11:55,090 --> 00:11:58,423 So my face is literally on fire, 270 00:11:58,893 --> 00:12:02,693 but it's this weird chemical, so no one can see the flames. 271 00:12:02,764 --> 00:12:04,664 I'm dancing around, freaking out. 272 00:12:04,733 --> 00:12:07,964 I end up having to dunk my face into a bucket of sand. 273 00:12:08,036 --> 00:12:09,628 - Unreal! - Unreal! 274 00:12:09,704 --> 00:12:11,638 - Oh, my God, that is unbelievable. - Oh, my God, that's... 275 00:12:11,706 --> 00:12:13,462 Isn't it, Ann? Unbelievable. 276 00:12:13,576 --> 00:12:16,204 Didn't happen to me. It was a kid I knew from camp. 277 00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:19,914 But a great story's a great story. 278 00:12:20,449 --> 00:12:23,418 Well, plus, the kid can't tell it, his mouth melted. 279 00:12:25,655 --> 00:12:26,849 Dinner is served! 280 00:12:26,922 --> 00:12:28,719 Oh! Excellent! 281 00:12:32,561 --> 00:12:35,086 Hey. I'm sorry. Are we late? 282 00:12:37,333 --> 00:12:39,598 What the hell are you doing? 283 00:12:39,670 --> 00:12:42,332 How could you invite Wendy when Ron's here? 284 00:12:42,406 --> 00:12:44,567 He's gonna wrap her up in his moustache and take her home. 285 00:12:44,641 --> 00:12:47,075 We agreed that we should invite interesting people for Justin, 286 00:12:47,144 --> 00:12:48,441 and Wendy is an interesting person! 287 00:12:48,512 --> 00:12:50,776 I've been telling you for weeks that you should tell her how you feel. 288 00:12:50,847 --> 00:12:53,179 - Now's your chance! - Oh, yeah. That makes sense. 289 00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:55,980 No, it doesn't! Not cool, at all! 290 00:12:58,388 --> 00:12:59,514 He'll get over it. 291 00:12:59,589 --> 00:13:00,783 No, I won't. 292 00:13:01,758 --> 00:13:04,956 The first course is a Mexican bean soup. 293 00:13:08,032 --> 00:13:09,932 Are these peppers for consuming? 294 00:13:10,001 --> 00:13:12,196 I wouldn't. They're very hot. 295 00:13:12,270 --> 00:13:13,703 I'm gonna give it a try. 296 00:13:16,274 --> 00:13:17,332 Hot. 297 00:13:17,408 --> 00:13:18,739 You're very brave. 298 00:13:19,344 --> 00:13:21,437 Please, that was one of the tiny ones. 299 00:13:21,512 --> 00:13:23,480 This is how you eat it! 300 00:13:23,548 --> 00:13:24,947 Don't do that, Tom! 301 00:13:34,993 --> 00:13:38,019 This is something, Justin. Derek and Ben are gay, 302 00:13:38,664 --> 00:13:42,361 but often, on occasion, April will have relations with Derek. 303 00:13:43,268 --> 00:13:45,668 Right? Crazy stuff. Discuss that. 304 00:13:46,105 --> 00:13:49,302 There's not much more to discuss. You kind of explained it all. 305 00:13:51,643 --> 00:13:53,270 Who else is gay? 306 00:13:54,546 --> 00:13:57,812 Tom, I need your help. There was a lull. I saw Justin yawn. 307 00:13:57,884 --> 00:13:59,044 Please tell me that yawning is a sign 308 00:13:59,119 --> 00:14:00,848 of excitement in India or something. 309 00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:03,718 Tom, focus! God, you're no help. 310 00:14:04,190 --> 00:14:07,250 Yes, just to be clear, this will in no way influence me. 311 00:14:07,327 --> 00:14:08,453 It won't affect my decision. 312 00:14:08,528 --> 00:14:10,553 And it has no bearing on the future of your class. 313 00:14:11,731 --> 00:14:16,361 Hey, little buddy! Everything okay? That took a long time. 314 00:14:16,636 --> 00:14:19,366 Poor Tommy. He has a very frail colon. 315 00:14:19,439 --> 00:14:21,169 I feel your pain, brother. 316 00:14:21,242 --> 00:14:22,539 The hottest thing I ever put into my mouth 317 00:14:22,610 --> 00:14:24,305 was in this remote village in Southern Brazil. 318 00:14:24,378 --> 00:14:25,675 - This sounds good. - Yeah. 319 00:14:25,746 --> 00:14:28,681 They take a little bit of scorpion poison and they serve... 320 00:14:30,217 --> 00:14:31,878 I wonder who that is. 321 00:14:31,952 --> 00:14:33,283 Who could that be? More people? 322 00:14:33,354 --> 00:14:35,254 A belly dancer? 323 00:14:36,490 --> 00:14:37,821 What? 324 00:14:39,427 --> 00:14:42,885 It's weird, but she just showed up. 325 00:14:43,330 --> 00:14:44,627 I mean, I'm not the kind of person 326 00:14:44,698 --> 00:14:46,291 that's gonna throw someone out, 327 00:14:46,368 --> 00:14:50,668 or, you know, not let them in if they randomly show up. 328 00:14:51,573 --> 00:14:54,770 I don't know how they all got here. 329 00:14:55,544 --> 00:14:58,308 You know, people hear about a killer party at Knope's house, 330 00:14:58,380 --> 00:15:00,814 they all come running. 331 00:15:04,784 --> 00:15:06,659 You don't do origami every day, do ya? 332 00:15:07,153 --> 00:15:09,621 They brought in a little entertainment, thank God. 333 00:15:09,689 --> 00:15:12,215 That Justin, he's so boring. 334 00:15:12,293 --> 00:15:14,784 What are you talking about? He's incredible. 335 00:15:14,862 --> 00:15:16,830 Yeah. He's not gay, but if he were, 336 00:15:16,897 --> 00:15:18,592 I would totally break up with Ben for him. 337 00:15:18,699 --> 00:15:21,896 Yeah, I would understand. He's amazing, right, April? 338 00:15:21,969 --> 00:15:24,494 Right, April? Don't we love him? 339 00:15:25,406 --> 00:15:27,738 Yeah. He's actually kind of awesome. 340 00:15:30,611 --> 00:15:32,579 You're underage. 341 00:15:32,646 --> 00:15:34,944 - I could lose my liquor license, I'm sorry. - Andy. 342 00:15:35,516 --> 00:15:37,280 Hey. Are you having fun? 343 00:15:37,352 --> 00:15:40,287 All I can say is, this is not what I was expecting. 344 00:15:41,456 --> 00:15:42,616 I cannot believe there's more. 345 00:15:42,691 --> 00:15:43,851 There's not. 346 00:15:46,528 --> 00:15:49,224 Miss Knopes, I understand that you're 347 00:15:49,297 --> 00:15:51,731 currently evaluating the rec center teachers. 348 00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:53,995 You're doing what, Leslie? 349 00:15:54,069 --> 00:15:56,037 I demand an evaluation. 350 00:15:56,571 --> 00:15:58,801 Okay. What course do you teach? 351 00:15:58,873 --> 00:16:01,706 When it comes to choosing accounting software, 352 00:16:01,776 --> 00:16:05,110 there's no accounting for taste. 353 00:16:06,249 --> 00:16:08,114 The advantage of QuickBooks Pro 354 00:16:08,184 --> 00:16:11,312 is that it's easy to assemble a list of vendors... 355 00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:15,118 Well, this is great. I'm heading home, 356 00:16:15,191 --> 00:16:17,250 so as not to have to be here anymore. 357 00:16:18,294 --> 00:16:20,228 My office, first thing tomorrow. 358 00:16:20,296 --> 00:16:23,322 Yeah, I think we're probably gonna take off, too. 359 00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:25,765 The demonstration takes another 45 minutes. 360 00:16:25,835 --> 00:16:28,669 Yeah, guys, please. Everybody, can you just stay? Okay? 361 00:16:28,739 --> 00:16:30,206 Justin, would you... 362 00:16:32,142 --> 00:16:33,507 Oh, my God. 363 00:16:34,278 --> 00:16:37,213 I promise you, Miss Knope, this disciplinary committee will go over 364 00:16:37,281 --> 00:16:39,112 every detail of what happened last night. 365 00:16:39,182 --> 00:16:42,310 And we will determine whether you are guilty of abusing your power. 366 00:16:43,053 --> 00:16:45,419 Do you have anything to say before we begin? 367 00:16:46,590 --> 00:16:50,048 Just that I am looking forward to the truth coming out. 368 00:16:50,394 --> 00:16:53,488 I would like to say that Leslie is incapable 369 00:16:53,563 --> 00:16:55,759 of using people for her own gain. 370 00:16:55,833 --> 00:16:56,959 Thank you, Tom. 371 00:16:57,035 --> 00:17:00,994 But I can't, because Leslie loves using people for her own gain. 372 00:17:01,606 --> 00:17:03,267 If I may, Phil, I'd like to say 373 00:17:03,341 --> 00:17:04,933 something to Tom on the record. 374 00:17:05,009 --> 00:17:06,840 This has all been on the record. 375 00:17:06,911 --> 00:17:09,505 I'm very sorry that I invited Wendy to the party. 376 00:17:09,580 --> 00:17:10,945 Is Wendy one of the teachers? 377 00:17:11,015 --> 00:17:12,812 No, she's my soon-to-be ex-wife. 378 00:17:12,884 --> 00:17:15,478 And hopefully-then-to-be future-wife. 379 00:17:15,553 --> 00:17:17,180 Look, I'm really sorry. 380 00:17:17,255 --> 00:17:19,816 I put a new romance in front of an old friendship. 381 00:17:20,759 --> 00:17:21,817 Okay. 382 00:17:21,894 --> 00:17:25,386 I put a beautiful man in front of an adorable man-child. 383 00:17:25,464 --> 00:17:26,658 You're ruining it. 384 00:17:26,732 --> 00:17:30,498 I put a big white stallion in front of a little brown pony. 385 00:17:30,936 --> 00:17:32,335 Totally uncalled for. 386 00:17:32,404 --> 00:17:33,928 Ron Swanson will be next. 387 00:17:34,540 --> 00:17:36,565 When it comes to government hearings, 388 00:17:36,642 --> 00:17:40,169 the only type of witness I enjoy being is a hostile one. 389 00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:44,675 That's why I intend to answer every one of their questions 390 00:17:44,750 --> 00:17:45,911 with a question. 391 00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:49,652 Were you aware that all of the entertainment and food 392 00:17:49,723 --> 00:17:51,623 was provided by rec center teachers? 393 00:17:51,691 --> 00:17:54,216 Would I have stayed if I knew that? 394 00:17:54,294 --> 00:17:55,727 I don't know, would you have? 395 00:17:55,795 --> 00:17:57,194 Would you have? 396 00:17:57,263 --> 00:18:00,960 No. I wouldn't have. Did you hear Leslie make any promises? 397 00:18:01,468 --> 00:18:03,698 What constitutes a promise? 398 00:18:03,770 --> 00:18:05,931 - A quid pro quo. - Oh! 399 00:18:06,005 --> 00:18:07,529 Do you know Latin? 400 00:18:07,607 --> 00:18:09,575 Okay. Thank you, Ron. 401 00:18:10,510 --> 00:18:11,876 Are we done? 402 00:18:13,781 --> 00:18:15,715 Can I get a shine? 403 00:18:15,783 --> 00:18:20,186 Oh. No. I'm sorry. We're closed, due to betrayment. 404 00:18:20,254 --> 00:18:23,553 Well, I'm sorry. But I don't know what you're talking about. 405 00:18:23,624 --> 00:18:27,583 Why don't you ask your new best friend, whose name is 406 00:18:27,661 --> 00:18:29,390 - Justin. - Justin? 407 00:18:29,463 --> 00:18:30,623 Yes. 408 00:18:30,698 --> 00:18:31,790 I would. 409 00:18:31,866 --> 00:18:37,863 But he's probably too busy cleaning gum out of his coat pockets. 410 00:18:41,376 --> 00:18:43,867 Wow. Unbetrayed. 411 00:18:45,614 --> 00:18:48,412 So, you don't work for the government and you had no idea 412 00:18:48,483 --> 00:18:51,179 that these people were teachers from the local rec center? 413 00:18:51,253 --> 00:18:54,689 No. I was simply attending a dinner party at my friend's house. 414 00:18:54,756 --> 00:18:56,223 Why is he here, Miss Knope? 415 00:18:56,291 --> 00:18:57,519 That will become clear. 416 00:18:57,592 --> 00:18:59,958 Mr. Anderson, could you please describe that evening? 417 00:19:00,028 --> 00:19:02,463 Well, I had a very pleasant time. 418 00:19:02,532 --> 00:19:05,729 And from my perspective, there was no abuse of power with respect to Miss Knope 419 00:19:05,802 --> 00:19:07,565 and any of her various guests. 420 00:19:07,637 --> 00:19:09,229 Could you define pleasant? 421 00:19:09,305 --> 00:19:11,967 Did you have a good time? Did you have a great time? 422 00:19:12,041 --> 00:19:14,635 Be specific, and do remember that you're under oath. 423 00:19:14,710 --> 00:19:16,177 I had an amazing time. 424 00:19:16,913 --> 00:19:18,676 But you fell asleep. 425 00:19:18,748 --> 00:19:20,443 Oh, God. I'm so sorry. You know, look, 426 00:19:20,516 --> 00:19:22,882 I'd been given a case the night before, 427 00:19:22,952 --> 00:19:25,682 so I had to stay up all night working on it and I didn't want to cancel. 428 00:19:25,755 --> 00:19:27,279 You should've told me. I would've rescheduled. 429 00:19:27,356 --> 00:19:28,847 Are you kidding me? I was looking forward to it. 430 00:19:28,926 --> 00:19:31,861 I had an awesome time which had nothing 431 00:19:31,929 --> 00:19:34,523 to do with the rec center teachers. 432 00:19:34,631 --> 00:19:36,360 No further questions. 433 00:19:36,433 --> 00:19:39,061 Okay. We're going to take a break, 434 00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:42,435 and we'll let you know what we decide in about an hour. 435 00:19:42,506 --> 00:19:45,339 Great. I will see you later. 436 00:19:45,409 --> 00:19:46,535 I'm in the middle of official business, 437 00:19:46,610 --> 00:19:47,668 so I can't talk about it right now. 438 00:19:47,744 --> 00:19:49,550 - Okay. Okay. - But, yes, yes, you will. 439 00:19:54,252 --> 00:19:56,880 So, did you get that? He said amazing and awesome. 440 00:19:57,222 --> 00:19:59,190 So, I'm gonna drive up and see him next weekend. 441 00:19:59,257 --> 00:20:01,657 There's some Kabuki theater festival happening. 442 00:20:01,726 --> 00:20:05,890 Great. You're so relaxed. You're not freaking out about this at all? 443 00:20:05,964 --> 00:20:09,024 Okay, Leslie. We've reached our decision. 444 00:20:09,834 --> 00:20:12,598 We're not going to take any further action at this time. 445 00:20:12,670 --> 00:20:13,796 Thank you. 446 00:20:13,872 --> 00:20:16,534 It really helped that you asked for this hearing yourself. 447 00:20:16,608 --> 00:20:19,840 And that you made financial restitution out of your own pocket. 448 00:20:19,912 --> 00:20:22,676 But I think we both know you skirted a line here. 449 00:20:25,117 --> 00:20:27,142 You turned yourself in? Why? 450 00:20:27,219 --> 00:20:30,154 Well, I did something wrong, and I felt bad. 451 00:20:30,222 --> 00:20:33,658 So, this morning I donated $1,000 to the rec center, 452 00:20:33,726 --> 00:20:36,456 so everybody could keep teaching their classes. 453 00:20:36,529 --> 00:20:38,326 Okay, so why did you ask for the hearing? 454 00:20:38,397 --> 00:20:39,762 Are you kidding, Ann? 455 00:20:39,832 --> 00:20:41,493 It's every girl's dream to ask a dude 456 00:20:41,567 --> 00:20:44,035 how their date went under penalty of perjury. 457 00:20:44,103 --> 00:20:46,800 I'm not proud of my actions. But the most important thing is, 458 00:20:46,873 --> 00:20:48,898 there is now an official government document 459 00:20:48,975 --> 00:20:51,671 that proves my dinner party kicked ass. 460 00:20:56,192 --> 00:20:57,386 Tommy Hav. 461 00:20:57,460 --> 00:20:58,984 J Train! What's up, brother? 462 00:20:59,062 --> 00:21:01,437 This might be none of my business, but... 463 00:21:02,736 --> 00:21:04,423 you need to ask Wendy out. 464 00:21:05,301 --> 00:21:06,563 For reals, this time. 465 00:21:07,570 --> 00:21:09,561 - Did Leslie tell you... - No. 466 00:21:09,639 --> 00:21:12,370 She didn't need to. I saw it. 467 00:21:13,844 --> 00:21:17,405 I'm not gay, but you're the most incredible man I've ever met. 468 00:21:17,481 --> 00:21:19,176 That doesn't sound gay at all. 469 00:21:20,317 --> 00:21:21,950 - See you around. - Take care. 470 00:21:21,993 --> 00:21:22,911 Bye, brother. 471 00:21:22,953 --> 00:21:25,240 You sure you don't want to come hang out for a minute?