1 00:00:00,989 --> 00:00:04,049 If you look inside your bags, you will find a few things. 2 00:00:04,389 --> 00:00:07,551 A bouquet of hand-crocheted flower pens... 3 00:00:07,624 --> 00:00:08,613 Oh! 4 00:00:08,725 --> 00:00:11,285 A mosaic portrait of each of you 5 00:00:11,361 --> 00:00:14,194 made from the crushed bottles of your favorite diet soda, 6 00:00:14,264 --> 00:00:16,595 and a personalized 5,000-word essay 7 00:00:16,665 --> 00:00:19,259 of why you are all so awesome. 8 00:00:19,335 --> 00:00:23,430 What's Galentine's Day? Oh, it's only the best day of the year. 9 00:00:23,505 --> 00:00:26,372 Every February 13th, my lady friends and I 10 00:00:26,441 --> 00:00:28,272 leave our husbands and our boyfriends at home 11 00:00:28,318 --> 00:00:30,552 and we just come and kick it breakfast style. 12 00:00:30,844 --> 00:00:32,695 Ladies celebrating ladies. 13 00:00:32,780 --> 00:00:37,217 It's like Lilith Fair minus the angst. Plus frittatas. 14 00:00:37,284 --> 00:00:40,879 So to conclude our Galentine's Day breakfast, 15 00:00:40,954 --> 00:00:43,922 it is time for the greatest story ever told. 16 00:00:44,991 --> 00:00:46,424 What's the story? 17 00:00:46,492 --> 00:00:48,687 It's the most romantic story ever. 18 00:00:48,761 --> 00:00:51,854 It makes The Notebook look like Saw V. 19 00:00:52,798 --> 00:00:54,026 Go, Mom, go. 20 00:00:54,099 --> 00:00:56,897 It was 1968. I was 18 21 00:00:56,968 --> 00:00:59,198 and our family went on a vacation to Bermuda. 22 00:00:59,737 --> 00:01:03,104 And on the first day, I went for a swim in the ocean. 23 00:01:03,941 --> 00:01:07,707 And I got caught in a very strong current. 24 00:01:08,912 --> 00:01:10,311 You've heard this story before, right? 25 00:01:10,380 --> 00:01:11,506 Yes, but the drama. 26 00:01:11,581 --> 00:01:13,344 The next thing I felt 27 00:01:13,983 --> 00:01:17,918 were two very powerful arms 28 00:01:18,353 --> 00:01:20,218 whisking me to safety. 29 00:01:20,556 --> 00:01:23,150 And he looked down at me and he said, 30 00:01:23,926 --> 00:01:25,655 "Are you okay?" 31 00:01:26,095 --> 00:01:29,825 And I looked up at him and I said, "I am now." 32 00:01:31,065 --> 00:01:33,898 So they sneak out to meet each other and walk on the beach. 33 00:01:33,968 --> 00:01:35,366 And two weeks later, he asked her 34 00:01:35,435 --> 00:01:37,926 to marry him and move to Illinois. 35 00:01:38,004 --> 00:01:40,837 But her parents thought she was too young, so she said no. 36 00:01:41,341 --> 00:01:43,935 And then they lost touch, and a few years later she met my dad. 37 00:01:44,010 --> 00:01:45,943 I gotta take one of those lifeguard courses. 38 00:01:46,011 --> 00:01:47,342 Those guys get all the action. 39 00:01:47,413 --> 00:01:49,347 - Am I right, Justin? - We gotta find this guy. 40 00:01:49,415 --> 00:01:52,179 Frank? He's probably married or dead. 41 00:01:52,251 --> 00:01:53,979 What's the difference? Am I right, Justin? 42 00:01:54,052 --> 00:01:56,179 Well, at least let me try and find him. 43 00:01:56,279 --> 00:01:58,098 Imagine how much better that story would be 44 00:01:58,123 --> 00:02:00,461 if we actually reunited them. 45 00:02:01,837 --> 00:02:04,127 I think Justin's right. You should let him do this. 46 00:02:04,328 --> 00:02:07,161 Okay. Do it. But if you find him and he's weird, 47 00:02:07,231 --> 00:02:09,222 like a ventriloquist, or a puppeteer, 48 00:02:09,299 --> 00:02:11,994 or anyone who pretends toys are people, 49 00:02:12,068 --> 00:02:13,296 then abort the mission. 50 00:02:13,369 --> 00:02:14,563 - Absolutely. - Absolutely. 51 00:02:37,821 --> 00:02:39,879 You, you're the best girlfriend ever. 52 00:02:39,956 --> 00:02:40,980 Aw! 53 00:02:41,057 --> 00:02:42,820 Happy Valentine's Day. 54 00:02:42,861 --> 00:02:45,004 I knew, eventually, somehow, 55 00:02:45,061 --> 00:02:47,688 being in a relationship with you would totally pay off. 56 00:02:47,725 --> 00:02:51,491 I bought him some actual towels. He was using a bathrobe. 57 00:02:51,563 --> 00:02:55,761 And I bought him some other things that humans usually use, like shampoo. 58 00:02:55,832 --> 00:02:58,062 Troops, gather around. Great news. 59 00:02:58,135 --> 00:03:00,069 The Senior Center Valentine's Dance 60 00:03:00,137 --> 00:03:02,002 is tomorrow, from 5:00 to 9:00. 61 00:03:02,072 --> 00:03:06,508 Are we talking a.m. Or p.m.? Those people are old. Am I right, Justin? 62 00:03:07,376 --> 00:03:08,968 Oh! Justin's not here. 63 00:03:09,045 --> 00:03:12,674 It isn't just a job, gang, we're gonna learn a lot from these seniors. 64 00:03:12,748 --> 00:03:15,978 Some of them have been married for half a century. 65 00:03:16,618 --> 00:03:19,553 And no offense, but everybody here is terrible at love. 66 00:03:19,621 --> 00:03:25,490 Divorced, dating a gay guy, divorced twice, jury's still out on you two. 67 00:03:26,193 --> 00:03:27,421 And Jerry, who knows. 68 00:03:27,494 --> 00:03:29,724 I've been happily married for 28 years. 69 00:03:29,797 --> 00:03:31,458 You've met my wife, Gayle, many times. 70 00:03:31,532 --> 00:03:32,555 Whatever. 71 00:03:32,632 --> 00:03:35,362 Finally, Ann and Mark are our special volunteers, 72 00:03:35,435 --> 00:03:37,403 and they will be available whenever needed. 73 00:03:37,837 --> 00:03:38,963 I didn't volunteer. 74 00:03:39,038 --> 00:03:40,902 Yeah, too bad. You got drafted. 75 00:03:40,973 --> 00:03:44,841 Ask not what your old people could do for you, 76 00:03:44,910 --> 00:03:46,901 ask what you could do for your old people. 77 00:03:47,679 --> 00:03:48,668 Terminator. 78 00:03:48,747 --> 00:03:49,906 What? No, JFK. 79 00:03:50,715 --> 00:03:53,115 This meeting has been terminated. 80 00:03:53,184 --> 00:03:54,583 That is the Terminator. 81 00:03:54,652 --> 00:03:55,778 Nice. 82 00:03:56,587 --> 00:03:57,576 Where am I going? 83 00:04:00,423 --> 00:04:01,447 Well, hello there. 84 00:04:01,524 --> 00:04:03,389 Well, hey. I got your message. 85 00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:04,859 You wanted to talk? 86 00:04:04,928 --> 00:04:05,952 Yes, I do. 87 00:04:06,029 --> 00:04:07,018 Oh. 88 00:04:07,563 --> 00:04:08,894 Have a seat. 89 00:04:10,966 --> 00:04:12,228 - Mmm. - Some champagne? 90 00:04:12,301 --> 00:04:13,529 Uh, no, thanks. 91 00:04:13,602 --> 00:04:16,536 Come on. This is Armand de Brignac. Jay-Z drinks this. 92 00:04:16,604 --> 00:04:19,437 Yeah, well, Jay-Z doesn't have to perform surgery in an hour. 93 00:04:19,507 --> 00:04:21,998 You don't know Jay-Z's schedule. He's a renaissance man. 94 00:04:22,944 --> 00:04:25,310 Okay, fine. Well, this is for you. 95 00:04:25,380 --> 00:04:26,368 Oh! 96 00:04:26,913 --> 00:04:28,642 Well, it's almost Valentine's Day, 97 00:04:28,715 --> 00:04:31,741 so I thought it would be a good day to tell you that... 98 00:04:31,818 --> 00:04:35,184 Okay. Let me just stop you right there. 99 00:04:36,789 --> 00:04:38,814 Look, Tommy, 100 00:04:41,127 --> 00:04:45,722 I just want you to know I'm so grateful for everything you did for me, 101 00:04:46,431 --> 00:04:48,956 but I only see us as friends. 102 00:04:49,034 --> 00:04:53,197 For now. But think about how much better our friendship would be 103 00:04:53,270 --> 00:04:55,465 if we added doing it. 104 00:04:56,874 --> 00:04:58,739 Seriously, I know our marriage was fake, 105 00:04:58,809 --> 00:05:00,800 but there's something between us. 106 00:05:00,878 --> 00:05:03,038 And I think we should give it a shot, for real. 107 00:05:03,112 --> 00:05:06,741 I just don't feel that way about you. 108 00:05:08,651 --> 00:05:10,118 I'm sorry. 109 00:05:20,261 --> 00:05:22,058 Each time I do 110 00:05:22,129 --> 00:05:26,930 Just the thought of you makes me stop before I begin 111 00:05:27,668 --> 00:05:29,362 I've got you 112 00:05:30,704 --> 00:05:32,467 Under my skin 113 00:05:33,106 --> 00:05:34,368 So, there's that one, I guess. 114 00:05:34,441 --> 00:05:36,306 All right. You guys sound ready for the dance tomorrow. 115 00:05:36,376 --> 00:05:38,969 I don't know about these old fogy songs, Leslie. 116 00:05:39,044 --> 00:05:40,602 Why can't we just do our originals? 117 00:05:40,679 --> 00:05:42,704 I just wrote a new song, okay? 118 00:05:42,781 --> 00:05:45,045 Bottom line, it's called Sex Hair. 119 00:05:45,117 --> 00:05:46,947 It's about how you can tell when someone's just had sex 120 00:05:47,018 --> 00:05:49,714 'cause of how their hair gets matted up in the back. It's awesome. 121 00:05:51,089 --> 00:05:53,353 Think of it this way. These songs are exactly 122 00:05:53,424 --> 00:05:55,516 like the songs you usually play, 123 00:05:55,592 --> 00:05:57,719 except instead of modern rock, 124 00:05:57,794 --> 00:05:59,853 they're old jazzy standards from the '40s. 125 00:06:02,466 --> 00:06:04,194 Okay, yeah. You got a point. 126 00:06:04,266 --> 00:06:05,927 Yeah. You're gonna do great. 127 00:06:06,369 --> 00:06:08,234 All right, guys. 128 00:06:08,304 --> 00:06:10,101 Andy, I've been here for half an hour. 129 00:06:10,172 --> 00:06:11,332 Can I get my shoes shined? 130 00:06:11,407 --> 00:06:14,898 Kyle, I'm gonna lose my on you if you ask me one more time. 131 00:06:16,444 --> 00:06:17,706 Found him. 132 00:06:18,747 --> 00:06:21,682 Frank Beckerson, 63. 133 00:06:21,750 --> 00:06:25,378 Lives in a little town called Bridgeport, Illinois. 134 00:06:25,452 --> 00:06:28,979 Divorced, no kids, worked as a lifeguard when he was 20. 135 00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:34,419 Ron, I need a half a day off for a secret mission of love. 136 00:06:35,261 --> 00:06:37,491 You're asking my permission to take a nooner? 137 00:06:37,563 --> 00:06:39,554 Sure. Well, I don't know. Maybe. 138 00:06:39,632 --> 00:06:42,464 Justin and I need to go on a romantically-inspired road trip. 139 00:06:42,534 --> 00:06:43,899 So it is a nooner? 140 00:06:43,969 --> 00:06:46,767 Well, we're planning to leave around noon, so I'm not quite sure... 141 00:06:46,838 --> 00:06:48,396 That's... No, Leslie, that is not a nooner. 142 00:06:48,473 --> 00:06:50,372 I tracked down this old flame of Leslie's mom. 143 00:06:50,409 --> 00:06:54,065 We're gonna go pick him up. We're gonna reunite them on Valentine's Day. 144 00:06:54,190 --> 00:06:56,197 Is that a great story or what? 145 00:06:56,296 --> 00:06:58,160 Yeah, great story indeed. 146 00:06:58,193 --> 00:06:59,449 Enjoy your half day off. 147 00:06:59,769 --> 00:07:00,537 Thank you. 148 00:07:00,583 --> 00:07:01,607 Pick you up tomorrow around noon. 149 00:07:01,633 --> 00:07:04,261 For our nooner. Which is a cute word. 150 00:07:04,387 --> 00:07:05,786 Explain it to her later. 151 00:07:06,248 --> 00:07:07,237 Explain what? 152 00:07:07,689 --> 00:07:09,850 Happy Valentine's Day. 153 00:07:09,856 --> 00:07:14,520 First off, a bear in a paper bag and a heart-shaped balloon. 154 00:07:14,663 --> 00:07:16,630 I love bears in bags. 155 00:07:16,931 --> 00:07:18,558 Well, you will like this, then. 156 00:07:18,633 --> 00:07:22,694 Because this is a giant teddy bear holding a red heart. 157 00:07:23,538 --> 00:07:25,937 Aw! Festive. What's this? Oh, I don't know. 158 00:07:26,006 --> 00:07:28,338 It's a heart-shaped box of chocolates. 159 00:07:28,408 --> 00:07:31,605 That's a dozen red roses in a heart-shaped arrangement. 160 00:07:31,678 --> 00:07:35,943 - See that? Perfume. For the lady. - Yeah. Ooh! Ooh! 161 00:07:36,015 --> 00:07:38,540 "Yearning, by Dennis Feinstein." 162 00:07:39,118 --> 00:07:43,205 Mmm. Ooh! Dennis. No, no, Dennis. 163 00:07:43,231 --> 00:07:46,174 Finally, The Heart of the Ocean. 164 00:07:46,654 --> 00:07:48,238 Gorgeous. 165 00:07:50,795 --> 00:07:55,128 I never had a chance to get a girl a clichéd Valentine's Day gift before. 166 00:07:55,199 --> 00:07:57,497 So I got you all of them. 167 00:08:00,137 --> 00:08:01,831 Thank you. That was very sweet. 168 00:08:02,438 --> 00:08:03,735 Do you think they'll get married? 169 00:08:03,806 --> 00:08:05,433 Oh, my God, what if they get married? 170 00:08:05,508 --> 00:08:06,957 That would be amazing. 171 00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:08,904 Would I call him "Dad" then? 172 00:08:08,978 --> 00:08:12,640 - Hmm. Hmm. - No, that'd be too much. Maybe I'll call him "Pappy." 173 00:08:12,714 --> 00:08:15,148 Pop? Poppy? Paw-Paw? 174 00:08:15,617 --> 00:08:17,244 Look at me. I'm getting ahead of myself. 175 00:08:17,319 --> 00:08:19,081 Hey. You never know. 176 00:08:20,321 --> 00:08:22,721 I'm gonna call him "Poo-Paw." 177 00:08:22,790 --> 00:08:25,281 How often do you get to reunite soul mates? 178 00:08:25,626 --> 00:08:28,526 What if I told you that you could reunite Romeo and Juliet? 179 00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:31,155 Or Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston? 180 00:08:32,532 --> 00:08:35,194 Oh, Jen. I really want you to be happy. 181 00:08:37,102 --> 00:08:38,797 Stay away from John Mayer. 182 00:08:40,105 --> 00:08:42,161 I cannot believe I'm gonna meet Frank Beckerson. 183 00:08:42,198 --> 00:08:44,598 I feel like I've known him my whole life. 184 00:08:46,611 --> 00:08:47,942 Frank? 185 00:08:48,012 --> 00:08:50,742 My God. Marlene. 186 00:08:50,815 --> 00:08:54,102 Oh, no. Poo-Paw. Poo-Paw, no. I'm not Marlene. 187 00:08:55,252 --> 00:08:59,120 Oh! So sorry. I should really wear my glasses. Come on in. 188 00:09:04,112 --> 00:09:05,643 Frank, I was wondering. 189 00:09:05,681 --> 00:09:08,041 My mom always said that you wanted to be a lawyer. 190 00:09:08,116 --> 00:09:09,140 Did that work out? 191 00:09:09,193 --> 00:09:10,660 No. Never did. 192 00:09:10,729 --> 00:09:13,356 Though I did once act as my own lawyer. 193 00:09:14,566 --> 00:09:18,434 Oh! I found some old pictures of Marlene and me. Look. 194 00:09:20,671 --> 00:09:22,138 Look how young she is. 195 00:09:22,206 --> 00:09:23,503 These are amazing. 196 00:09:24,074 --> 00:09:26,406 Probably shouldn't show you this one. 197 00:09:28,378 --> 00:09:29,810 No, thank you. 198 00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:34,743 Your mom was such a firecracker. Smart, funny, sharp as a tack. 199 00:09:34,817 --> 00:09:37,081 Such firm breasts. 200 00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:39,181 Oh, that was inappropriate. 201 00:09:41,022 --> 00:09:45,550 Wow. I am just, all of a sudden, so nervous to see her again. 202 00:09:46,895 --> 00:09:49,328 I'm gonna throw up real quick and then we can leave. 203 00:09:51,565 --> 00:09:53,226 - Hi. - Hi. 204 00:09:53,300 --> 00:09:54,790 Valentine's bash at The Bulge tonight. 205 00:09:54,869 --> 00:09:56,336 We can get you a drink bracelet. 206 00:09:56,836 --> 00:10:00,602 I can't. I've gotta work at the Senior Center Valentine's Day Dance thing. 207 00:10:00,673 --> 00:10:02,937 That sounds amazing. Can we come? 208 00:10:03,576 --> 00:10:05,600 I guess. I don't know why you would want to. 209 00:10:05,677 --> 00:10:06,803 Because old people are funny. 210 00:10:06,879 --> 00:10:08,574 Yeah, it'll be like The Golden Girls. 211 00:10:08,647 --> 00:10:10,205 I have to go get ready. 212 00:10:12,951 --> 00:10:15,578 So, Frank, where have you been for the past 40 years? 213 00:10:15,653 --> 00:10:19,145 Oh! You know, here and there. You know? Grenada, for a while. 214 00:10:19,223 --> 00:10:22,852 Then Panama, then Afghanistan. 215 00:10:23,094 --> 00:10:25,061 - So you were in the military? - Nope. 216 00:10:25,462 --> 00:10:28,329 You know, I always wonder how different my life would've been 217 00:10:28,398 --> 00:10:30,559 if your mother had married me. 218 00:10:31,034 --> 00:10:34,161 It would've been better. I'll tell you that much. 219 00:10:35,838 --> 00:10:37,806 Frank? Frank, are you okay? 220 00:10:37,873 --> 00:10:39,932 I'm fine. I'm good. 221 00:10:42,143 --> 00:10:45,169 I am just so nervous to see her. 222 00:10:45,246 --> 00:10:46,804 There is nothing to be nervous about. 223 00:10:47,415 --> 00:10:49,246 - Have you got a bag or something? - A what? 224 00:10:49,317 --> 00:10:50,578 - Do you have a bag? - I have a purse. 225 00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:51,777 Well, give him the purse then. 226 00:10:51,852 --> 00:10:52,876 All right. 227 00:10:59,358 --> 00:11:02,589 You like potato and I like potahto 228 00:11:02,995 --> 00:11:06,328 You like tomato and I like tomahto 229 00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:09,890 Potato, potahto Tomato, tomahto 230 00:11:09,968 --> 00:11:12,368 Let's call the whole thing off. 231 00:11:14,572 --> 00:11:15,561 Uh... 232 00:11:15,807 --> 00:11:17,637 I mean, that sucked, didn't it? 233 00:11:17,708 --> 00:11:20,006 Maybe if you sang it like Louis Armstrong. 234 00:11:20,077 --> 00:11:21,237 Maybe, yeah. 235 00:11:21,879 --> 00:11:24,040 I mean, here's the thing, though. 236 00:11:24,114 --> 00:11:25,547 Who is that? 237 00:11:26,983 --> 00:11:31,613 My problem is I don't know how to tell if we're doing good. 238 00:11:31,688 --> 00:11:32,950 Because when you play a rock show, 239 00:11:33,022 --> 00:11:34,683 it's really easy to know if you're doing great 240 00:11:34,757 --> 00:11:38,886 because chicks will flash their boobs at you when you're up onstage. 241 00:11:38,961 --> 00:11:42,192 And you're like, "Oh! That must've sounded pretty good." 242 00:11:42,264 --> 00:11:46,632 If that happens here, my eyes will fall out of my head and I'll die. 243 00:11:51,973 --> 00:11:54,236 Frank? Frank, are you okay? 244 00:11:58,812 --> 00:12:00,837 - Maybe we should... - Yeah. Frank. 245 00:12:01,147 --> 00:12:03,046 - Frank. Frank. - Frank. 246 00:12:05,217 --> 00:12:08,186 But I can't see anybody but you 247 00:12:10,189 --> 00:12:11,246 Flip flop 248 00:12:11,322 --> 00:12:13,916 You know, I might be crazy, but I have this weird suspicion 249 00:12:13,992 --> 00:12:15,892 that things are going well with us. 250 00:12:16,661 --> 00:12:19,528 You know, I have that same suspicion. 251 00:12:21,231 --> 00:12:23,256 But having never been in something like this before, 252 00:12:23,333 --> 00:12:26,894 I feel the need to ask, how am I doing? 253 00:12:27,904 --> 00:12:29,063 Come on. 254 00:12:29,138 --> 00:12:31,868 No, I'm sort of serious. 255 00:12:32,975 --> 00:12:34,840 All right, fine, forget it. 256 00:12:37,213 --> 00:12:39,237 I'm just saying, you know, it seems to me, on paper, 257 00:12:39,314 --> 00:12:41,248 that this thing we have is pretty great. 258 00:12:41,316 --> 00:12:42,578 Yes, nerd. 259 00:12:43,284 --> 00:12:46,276 On paper, this thing we have is pretty great. 260 00:12:46,354 --> 00:12:47,877 Mark is a great boyfriend. 261 00:12:47,955 --> 00:12:52,483 I have no complaints at all. Everything is good. 262 00:12:56,396 --> 00:12:59,024 I don't know. I don't feel right about this. 263 00:12:59,098 --> 00:13:01,726 Are you kidding me? This is so much fun. 264 00:13:02,335 --> 00:13:04,769 Look, we took a road trip today. 265 00:13:05,203 --> 00:13:07,364 We chased your mom's long lost love down a freeway. 266 00:13:07,439 --> 00:13:08,770 He's a loon, Justin. 267 00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:09,898 So he freaked out a little bit. 268 00:13:09,975 --> 00:13:11,135 He got nervous. I mean, you would, too. 269 00:13:11,209 --> 00:13:12,938 He was fine by the time we got him back inside the car. 270 00:13:13,011 --> 00:13:14,272 Yeah, well, he cried himself to sleep. 271 00:13:14,345 --> 00:13:16,575 I mean, I don't know why you're pushing. 272 00:13:16,647 --> 00:13:18,308 Why do you want him to spend time with my mom? 273 00:13:18,382 --> 00:13:20,043 How would that help her? 274 00:13:20,117 --> 00:13:22,745 I don't like this. I don't think this is gonna work. I'm calling this off. 275 00:13:22,819 --> 00:13:25,583 Come on. No, no, no. Look, we're here. Let's just see what happens. 276 00:13:25,655 --> 00:13:26,952 What happens is, I drive him home. 277 00:13:27,023 --> 00:13:28,217 Now, look. You need to breathe. 278 00:13:28,291 --> 00:13:30,088 I'm breathing. Okay? 279 00:13:36,331 --> 00:13:37,525 Mom. 280 00:13:38,033 --> 00:13:39,057 Oh! 281 00:13:39,134 --> 00:13:40,499 There you are. 282 00:13:40,569 --> 00:13:42,536 So, what's the big surprise? 283 00:13:42,603 --> 00:13:45,333 You gonna try to check me into an old folks home? 284 00:13:45,406 --> 00:13:46,498 It's a long story. 285 00:13:46,574 --> 00:13:48,235 One that we'd love to tell you over a cup of coffee, 286 00:13:48,309 --> 00:13:50,173 somewhere far from this place. 287 00:13:55,115 --> 00:13:56,309 Frank. 288 00:13:57,517 --> 00:13:58,744 Hello, Marlene. 289 00:13:58,818 --> 00:14:03,585 My gosh. I can't believe it's really you. 290 00:14:04,757 --> 00:14:06,622 Wanna catch up? 291 00:14:08,359 --> 00:14:09,451 Sure. 292 00:14:14,132 --> 00:14:15,190 Oh, boy. 293 00:14:15,266 --> 00:14:16,789 Oh, boy. 294 00:14:18,859 --> 00:14:21,259 Do you think we should stand by... 295 00:14:22,396 --> 00:14:25,961 She's fine. Let's just let this unfold. 296 00:14:28,667 --> 00:14:32,125 Come here, sonny. Let me tell you about the Civil War. 297 00:14:32,204 --> 00:14:35,100 Grandpa, leave me alone. You smell like death. 298 00:14:39,540 --> 00:14:41,633 I'm gonna get some punch. 299 00:14:45,282 --> 00:14:50,481 Excuse me. You guys are really adorable. It's really nice. 300 00:14:51,989 --> 00:14:54,923 So Leslie's like, "That's it, I'm taking him home." 301 00:14:54,991 --> 00:14:57,551 So, we look over, and he's not even in the car anymore. 302 00:14:57,608 --> 00:15:00,270 - You're kidding. - No. It's insane. 303 00:15:01,596 --> 00:15:03,928 What does Leslie think about all this? 304 00:15:03,999 --> 00:15:05,864 Oh, God, Leslie. I don't even know. 305 00:15:05,902 --> 00:15:07,646 I think I just lost track of her in all the chaos. 306 00:15:07,702 --> 00:15:09,397 Anyway, so, now he and Marlene 307 00:15:09,426 --> 00:15:11,088 are off somewhere, doing God knows what. 308 00:15:11,872 --> 00:15:13,237 I don't wanna... 309 00:15:19,347 --> 00:15:21,781 You're suing me for alimony? 310 00:15:22,148 --> 00:15:23,206 Yes. 311 00:15:23,283 --> 00:15:26,289 When we were married, I got accustomed to a certain lifestyle. 312 00:15:26,319 --> 00:15:29,082 And I'm entitled to money to maintain that lifestyle. 313 00:15:29,154 --> 00:15:30,416 This is insane. 314 00:15:30,489 --> 00:15:32,514 Yeah, it's insane, but it's all I got. 315 00:15:32,591 --> 00:15:36,186 And you can make it all go away if you just gave me a chance. 316 00:15:36,261 --> 00:15:37,955 - What? - Three dates. 317 00:15:40,031 --> 00:15:41,430 One date. 318 00:15:42,767 --> 00:15:43,995 Coffee? 319 00:15:44,068 --> 00:15:46,558 So your plan was to sue me, 320 00:15:46,636 --> 00:15:49,935 and then to use that to blackmail me into falling in love with you. 321 00:15:51,808 --> 00:15:52,797 Yeah. 322 00:15:59,481 --> 00:16:01,642 Hey. You guys sound good. 323 00:16:02,484 --> 00:16:06,146 You really think so? It's impossible to tell. 324 00:16:06,220 --> 00:16:07,778 It's like Bizarro Land out there. 325 00:16:07,855 --> 00:16:09,914 As soon as we finish a song, it's dead silence. 326 00:16:09,991 --> 00:16:11,356 Well, what do you expect, you know. 327 00:16:11,426 --> 00:16:13,359 They're like a million years old. 328 00:16:13,794 --> 00:16:15,557 Well, I'm glad you like it. 329 00:16:15,629 --> 00:16:17,620 You were always a big supporter of the band. 330 00:16:17,698 --> 00:16:19,256 Hey. Break's over. 331 00:16:19,333 --> 00:16:21,267 Ludgate, cracking the whip. 332 00:16:21,501 --> 00:16:24,663 Yeah, well, these old bags paid for some entertainment. 333 00:16:24,737 --> 00:16:27,706 - So get up there. - No, you're right. Okay. 334 00:16:27,773 --> 00:16:29,968 Hey, you should play that song The Way You Look Tonight. 335 00:16:30,042 --> 00:16:31,065 Hmm. 336 00:16:31,142 --> 00:16:32,234 It's a good one. 337 00:16:32,310 --> 00:16:37,373 The next one's going out to a special little lady named April Ludgate. 338 00:16:39,950 --> 00:16:42,646 Someday 339 00:16:43,988 --> 00:16:46,786 When I'm all alone 340 00:16:47,758 --> 00:16:50,385 Are you guys... never mind. 341 00:16:52,251 --> 00:16:53,738 - Why do you care? - I don't. 342 00:16:53,763 --> 00:16:58,219 Just thinking of you 343 00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:01,501 And the way you look tonight 344 00:17:01,570 --> 00:17:04,039 What about you? What do you do for a living? 345 00:17:05,340 --> 00:17:08,274 - Well, it's been an interesting ride. - Yeah? 346 00:17:08,342 --> 00:17:11,709 I got a job at a grocery store right out of college 347 00:17:11,779 --> 00:17:13,747 just for a way to make money. 348 00:17:14,515 --> 00:17:18,211 And here I am, 40 years later, completely unemployed. 349 00:17:20,687 --> 00:17:21,915 Wow. 350 00:17:23,590 --> 00:17:27,320 What do you say we pick up where we left off? 351 00:17:28,727 --> 00:17:30,354 You're not serious, right? 352 00:17:30,429 --> 00:17:32,556 I'm serious as a heart attack. 353 00:17:32,631 --> 00:17:34,029 Of which I've had four. 354 00:17:36,401 --> 00:17:39,302 And the world is cold 355 00:17:40,138 --> 00:17:42,333 I will feel a glow 356 00:17:42,407 --> 00:17:45,842 Just thinking of you 357 00:17:47,411 --> 00:17:51,370 And the way you look tonight 358 00:17:56,886 --> 00:17:59,320 Hey, Mom, are you okay? Did Frank leave? 359 00:17:59,455 --> 00:18:01,615 Uh, yeah. He just stepped away for a second. 360 00:18:01,689 --> 00:18:03,088 I'm so sorry we brought him here. 361 00:18:03,158 --> 00:18:04,386 Oh, it's okay. 362 00:18:04,459 --> 00:18:06,256 It was very thoughtful, sweetheart. 363 00:18:06,327 --> 00:18:07,726 It's not your fault that he turned out to be... 364 00:18:08,897 --> 00:18:11,057 Excuse me. Hi. Excuse me, hi. 365 00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:15,364 My name is Frank Beckerson. 366 00:18:16,270 --> 00:18:17,362 Marlene, 367 00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:19,130 you 368 00:18:20,606 --> 00:18:21,732 blew it. 369 00:18:23,009 --> 00:18:29,572 Take one last look, Marlene, because you'll never see this body again. 370 00:18:31,817 --> 00:18:33,808 Marlene, what happened between you two? 371 00:18:33,885 --> 00:18:35,580 Tell me everything. I want every detail. 372 00:18:35,954 --> 00:18:38,615 Hey, we're almost done, so we can leave soon. 373 00:18:38,689 --> 00:18:41,624 Yes. I'll take you for an ice cream malted, 374 00:18:41,692 --> 00:18:43,956 and then we can go choose our caskets. 375 00:18:44,028 --> 00:18:45,494 God, why does everything we do 376 00:18:45,562 --> 00:18:47,826 have to be cloaked in, like, 15 layers of irony? 377 00:18:48,665 --> 00:18:50,530 Here's something un-ironic. 378 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:52,090 Ever since you've been hanging out with that meathead, 379 00:18:52,168 --> 00:18:54,294 you've become completely lame. 380 00:18:55,104 --> 00:18:56,731 You know what? We're breaking up. 381 00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:00,736 Fine, then you can't make out with me when you're drunk anymore. 382 00:19:00,809 --> 00:19:03,004 - Fine, then I'll make out with Ben. - Pass. 383 00:19:03,078 --> 00:19:04,442 No, he's my boyfriend. 384 00:19:04,512 --> 00:19:06,537 You can either make out with both of us or none of us. 385 00:19:06,614 --> 00:19:08,582 - Fine, none of you. - Fine. 386 00:19:11,919 --> 00:19:14,853 I've got you 387 00:19:15,422 --> 00:19:16,889 Under my skin 388 00:19:22,928 --> 00:19:24,623 Everything okay, Knope? 389 00:19:25,030 --> 00:19:29,364 My boyfriend is a lawyer, and he's smart and interesting, 390 00:19:29,435 --> 00:19:31,629 and there's a lot of things about him I like. 391 00:19:31,703 --> 00:19:33,830 But he acted like a real jerk today. 392 00:19:34,772 --> 00:19:37,138 I don't know. There's something about the way 393 00:19:37,208 --> 00:19:39,641 he treats people or something. 394 00:19:40,310 --> 00:19:41,675 He's a tourist. 395 00:19:42,246 --> 00:19:45,647 He vacations in people's lives, takes pictures, 396 00:19:45,716 --> 00:19:48,183 puts them in his scrapbook, and moves on. 397 00:19:48,251 --> 00:19:50,742 All he's interested in are stories. 398 00:19:51,687 --> 00:19:52,676 Huh. 399 00:19:53,856 --> 00:19:56,654 Basically, Leslie, he's selfish. 400 00:19:57,559 --> 00:20:00,722 And you're not. And that's why you don't like him. 401 00:20:02,964 --> 00:20:05,626 I told you so. It's Duke Silver. 402 00:20:06,433 --> 00:20:09,891 Duke, can I have your autograph? I love your music. 403 00:20:10,905 --> 00:20:13,465 You're mistaken, ladies. Move along. 404 00:20:13,541 --> 00:20:18,170 I got you under my skin 405 00:20:21,114 --> 00:20:22,547 Yeah. Go Mouse Rat. 406 00:20:26,118 --> 00:20:28,052 I thought you were just terrific. 407 00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:29,144 Seriously? 408 00:20:29,221 --> 00:20:30,848 You sound like Dean Martin. 409 00:20:31,723 --> 00:20:34,247 If I were 50 years younger... 410 00:20:35,426 --> 00:20:39,055 What? Wait. Who's Dean Martin? 411 00:20:39,130 --> 00:20:43,088 If I'm not mistaken, that was the old-lady version of flashing. 412 00:20:43,166 --> 00:20:44,360 Nailed the gig. 413 00:20:45,611 --> 00:20:49,398 Look, it's sad, I know. But we'll still be friends. 414 00:20:49,815 --> 00:20:51,578 We're gonna see each other all the time. 415 00:20:51,650 --> 00:20:53,641 I come into town, like, every other weekend. 416 00:20:53,718 --> 00:20:56,962 No. You guys can't break up. We can fix this. Let me talk to Leslie. 417 00:20:57,006 --> 00:20:59,300 Tom, it's over. She doesn't wanna see me anymore. 418 00:20:59,343 --> 00:21:01,123 Is it my fault? Did I do something wrong? 419 00:21:01,161 --> 00:21:02,185 No. 420 00:21:02,454 --> 00:21:04,649 Seriously, this has nothing to do with you. 421 00:21:05,114 --> 00:21:06,440 Can we still go suit shopping? 422 00:21:06,535 --> 00:21:07,762 Of course. 423 00:21:07,817 --> 00:21:10,115 Armani's having a sale right now. 424 00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:11,890 I'm gonna get you a pocket square. 425 00:21:12,208 --> 00:21:13,607 All right.