1 00:00:01,289 --> 00:00:02,370 Good morning. 2 00:00:02,457 --> 00:00:06,214 Whoo! Swiss Family Ron-binson! That hat is dope. 3 00:00:06,369 --> 00:00:07,393 Thanks, Tom. 4 00:00:07,470 --> 00:00:09,461 You mind if I rock that bad Larry on my dome? 5 00:00:10,607 --> 00:00:13,288 Wear it on my head? Try it on the ladies? 6 00:00:15,121 --> 00:00:16,145 Be my guest. 7 00:00:16,246 --> 00:00:20,215 Hi, I'm Tom. I have a raccoon on my head. 8 00:00:21,785 --> 00:00:24,184 Excuse me? My friend over here was digging through your trash 9 00:00:24,220 --> 00:00:26,586 and I think we may have a lot in common. I'm Tom. 10 00:00:26,656 --> 00:00:28,146 Would you like to see a movie sometime? 11 00:00:28,224 --> 00:00:29,384 Are you a raccoon? 12 00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:33,120 Because you've been running around my hat all day... 13 00:00:33,196 --> 00:00:34,663 Head all day. 14 00:00:35,265 --> 00:00:37,358 Girl, you're more precious than Precious. 15 00:00:37,801 --> 00:00:39,132 Uh-uh. 16 00:00:40,403 --> 00:00:42,997 "Nice hat. Wanna bone?" That's you, talking to me. 17 00:00:43,473 --> 00:00:49,741 No. How about, "Yes, I am a hunter, and it's you season." 18 00:00:50,245 --> 00:00:53,510 Whoa, that's great. I gotta get back out there. 19 00:00:53,649 --> 00:00:57,517 You know what they say, animal on the head, manimal in the bed. 20 00:00:57,586 --> 00:00:59,679 Damn, girl! Your hotness killed my raccoon! 21 00:00:59,755 --> 00:01:02,019 I have a raccoon hat. I'm an interesting person. 22 00:01:02,291 --> 00:01:03,451 Hello! 23 00:01:05,794 --> 00:01:06,783 Any luck? 24 00:01:06,862 --> 00:01:07,851 Nope. 25 00:01:07,930 --> 00:01:09,830 Didn't work out as well as I thought it would. 26 00:01:09,898 --> 00:01:11,832 Well, better luck next time. 27 00:01:12,301 --> 00:01:13,700 I tried. It just didn't seem like... 28 00:01:13,769 --> 00:01:15,293 Wow. I love that hat. 29 00:01:15,871 --> 00:01:16,860 Thank you, ma'am. 30 00:01:40,562 --> 00:01:42,587 Hey, Ron. I have a surprise for you. 31 00:01:42,664 --> 00:01:44,427 Meet me at Harvey James Park at 11:30. 32 00:01:44,967 --> 00:01:46,366 - Why? - It's a surprise! 33 00:01:46,535 --> 00:01:47,524 What's the surprise? 34 00:01:47,603 --> 00:01:49,093 If I told you, it would ruin the surprise. 35 00:01:49,304 --> 00:01:50,460 What's the surprise it would ruin? 36 00:01:50,506 --> 00:01:51,660 I cannot tell you that. 37 00:01:51,740 --> 00:01:55,369 Leslie, my first wife, Tammy, tried throwing me a surprise birthday party. 38 00:01:55,444 --> 00:01:57,475 When I saw my friends hiding through the window, 39 00:01:57,513 --> 00:01:59,447 I drove to a gas station, called the cops 40 00:01:59,515 --> 00:02:01,550 and told them people had broken into my home. 41 00:02:02,284 --> 00:02:03,808 I'm not big on surprises. 42 00:02:03,883 --> 00:02:05,433 Okay, but you're gonna like this one. 43 00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:07,188 - What is it? - I'm not telling you. 44 00:02:07,220 --> 00:02:08,728 And I'm not gonna tell anybody! 45 00:02:11,058 --> 00:02:12,184 Okay. I'll tell you. 46 00:02:12,493 --> 00:02:15,121 We're putting together the Parks Department Summer Catalog. 47 00:02:15,563 --> 00:02:18,896 And the big surprise is I am going to reunite 48 00:02:18,966 --> 00:02:22,163 all the living former Parks Directors at a picnic, 49 00:02:22,503 --> 00:02:23,765 record the whole thing, 50 00:02:23,838 --> 00:02:25,567 and then write about it in the "Welcome Letter." 51 00:02:26,908 --> 00:02:28,569 It's the biggest catalog of the year. 52 00:02:28,643 --> 00:02:31,305 Think of the September issue of Vogue. 53 00:02:31,379 --> 00:02:32,971 But it's more important to Pawnee. 54 00:02:33,047 --> 00:02:34,708 Mainly because we don't get Vogue here. 55 00:02:35,416 --> 00:02:38,681 I'm gonna move this "Yearning" ad to the centerfold. 56 00:02:38,753 --> 00:02:41,847 Centerfold, always the best part. Am I right, Justin? 57 00:02:43,090 --> 00:02:45,081 - Damn, they broke up six weeks ago. - Yeah. 58 00:02:45,159 --> 00:02:47,059 Jerry, I need to see your softball pictures. 59 00:02:47,128 --> 00:02:48,254 Here you go, Chief. 60 00:02:48,729 --> 00:02:50,354 - Wow, good job. Nice work. - Whoa! 61 00:02:50,398 --> 00:02:52,992 Wait a minute. Isn't that that creepy guy? 62 00:02:53,100 --> 00:02:54,975 Morgan? The pedophile? 63 00:02:55,703 --> 00:02:57,568 - Yeah, it is. - Oh, my God. 64 00:02:57,638 --> 00:02:58,478 Oh, Jerry! 65 00:02:58,509 --> 00:02:59,709 Come on! I didn't know that! 66 00:02:59,755 --> 00:03:01,916 He seemed okay. 67 00:03:02,343 --> 00:03:03,503 We had dinner together. 68 00:03:03,578 --> 00:03:04,704 Guys, I don't know if I made it clear, 69 00:03:04,779 --> 00:03:07,612 but I don't want any sex offenders in our Parks catalog. 70 00:03:07,682 --> 00:03:09,582 Okay, I will Photoshop his face. 71 00:03:09,650 --> 00:03:11,762 Can you Photoshop your life with better decisions, Jerry? 72 00:03:11,786 --> 00:03:13,344 Okay, April. Enough. 73 00:03:13,421 --> 00:03:14,945 Cover photo. Tom, you're up. 74 00:03:15,022 --> 00:03:18,082 This catalog is basically, like, an ad for the Parks Department, 75 00:03:18,159 --> 00:03:20,150 and I love ads. 76 00:03:20,228 --> 00:03:22,788 I love magazine ads for flavored vodkas, 77 00:03:22,863 --> 00:03:24,797 billboards for designer jeans. 78 00:03:24,865 --> 00:03:26,958 I TiVo through shows to get to the ads. 79 00:03:27,335 --> 00:03:29,098 I love ads. 80 00:03:29,437 --> 00:03:31,803 What are we trying to do with this catalog? 81 00:03:31,872 --> 00:03:34,432 We're trying to sell Pawnee on our summer classes. 82 00:03:34,809 --> 00:03:38,869 How do we do that? With one perfect, captivating image. 83 00:03:39,145 --> 00:03:40,134 April? 84 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:42,978 Modern life. Where are we running? 85 00:03:43,049 --> 00:03:46,314 Sometimes, what we want is not always where we are. 86 00:03:47,187 --> 00:03:48,211 Next slide. 87 00:03:48,722 --> 00:03:49,916 Are we alone? 88 00:03:49,990 --> 00:03:52,481 Is the real winter inside our hearts? 89 00:03:52,726 --> 00:03:55,024 We are all struggling for definition 90 00:03:55,095 --> 00:03:56,824 in a world that resists our inquiries. 91 00:03:56,896 --> 00:03:58,659 Okay, this isn't gonna work for a number of reasons. 92 00:03:58,732 --> 00:04:00,427 One, this is a summer catalog. 93 00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:02,127 Two, that was complete gibberish. 94 00:04:02,202 --> 00:04:04,534 And three, that child looks like it's abandoned. 95 00:04:04,604 --> 00:04:07,300 So, basically, boo. 96 00:04:07,774 --> 00:04:08,798 Next slide. 97 00:04:10,277 --> 00:04:12,711 Oh, God. Weird. How did that... 98 00:04:14,914 --> 00:04:18,457 That's a personal photo. That's... Shouldn't be... this must've... 99 00:04:18,985 --> 00:04:20,543 You know, I gotta say, 100 00:04:20,620 --> 00:04:22,482 I think that could actually work as our cover photo. 101 00:04:22,522 --> 00:04:24,734 I'm cool with it, if you guys are. It's a high-res photo. 102 00:04:24,758 --> 00:04:26,225 I don't know if I have time for this, guys, 103 00:04:26,293 --> 00:04:27,954 so, let's just pick a good photo, okay? 104 00:04:28,028 --> 00:04:30,690 What do you want, Leslie? A picture of parents pushing a kid on a swing? 105 00:04:30,764 --> 00:04:32,990 Yeah. Exactly. Get me that. 106 00:04:33,533 --> 00:04:35,022 Okay. I gotta go. 107 00:04:37,504 --> 00:04:38,937 What is he thinking? 108 00:04:39,406 --> 00:04:41,374 "Why is my cup so tiny?" 109 00:04:44,577 --> 00:04:47,512 Hey. What are you doing here? 110 00:04:47,580 --> 00:04:50,674 Happy six-month anniversary. I got you a gift. 111 00:04:51,184 --> 00:04:52,310 It's a chicken salad sandwich. 112 00:04:52,385 --> 00:04:54,250 And I don't want you to feel bad 113 00:04:54,321 --> 00:04:56,551 about not getting me anything, because I would never expect... 114 00:04:56,623 --> 00:04:58,090 Swiss Army Watch, mofo. 115 00:04:58,792 --> 00:05:01,885 Well done. Perkins. Wow! 116 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:03,018 You like it? 117 00:05:03,095 --> 00:05:04,995 Thank you so much. That's so nice. 118 00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:09,362 Are you allowed to kiss me in a hospital room? 119 00:05:09,435 --> 00:05:11,130 Oh, don't worry about it. He's dead. 120 00:05:11,203 --> 00:05:12,261 Oh, my God. 121 00:05:12,338 --> 00:05:14,169 Oh, no, I'm just kidding, he's sleeping. 122 00:05:14,239 --> 00:05:15,706 Oh, okay. 123 00:05:15,774 --> 00:05:18,265 Yeah, our relationship is going well. Really well. 124 00:05:19,878 --> 00:05:21,743 That guy really seemed dead. 125 00:05:24,550 --> 00:05:26,211 Nice! 126 00:05:26,552 --> 00:05:27,541 Here, catch this. 127 00:05:30,222 --> 00:05:32,122 You got me in the face! Oh! 128 00:05:32,324 --> 00:05:34,417 That one hurt. You've a good arm. 129 00:05:34,493 --> 00:05:35,858 I know. I used to play softball in high school. 130 00:05:36,362 --> 00:05:38,023 Shut up! I played baseball in high school. 131 00:05:38,097 --> 00:05:40,691 - Shut up! - Yeah, that's like, the boy version of softball. 132 00:05:40,766 --> 00:05:43,633 Guys, don't play with the food, okay? We need this for the picnic. 133 00:05:43,702 --> 00:05:45,260 - Do we have everything? - Yes, ma'am. 134 00:05:45,337 --> 00:05:47,430 Three picnic baskets, assorted cheeses, grapes, wine. 135 00:05:47,506 --> 00:05:48,598 Smoked salmon? 136 00:05:50,075 --> 00:05:51,633 April threw the smoked salmon on the roof. 137 00:05:53,278 --> 00:05:54,302 I'm sorry. 138 00:05:54,813 --> 00:05:57,373 Where's Leslie? She just texted me from your phone 139 00:05:57,449 --> 00:05:58,916 and said she left her phone at home 140 00:05:58,984 --> 00:06:00,576 and that I should come here immediately. 141 00:06:00,652 --> 00:06:02,017 And why did I believe that? 142 00:06:02,588 --> 00:06:05,682 Maybe in your heart you knew it was from me, but you came anyway. 143 00:06:05,958 --> 00:06:07,118 Nope. 144 00:06:07,192 --> 00:06:09,126 Tom, would you please stop texting me 145 00:06:09,194 --> 00:06:10,661 that you're having a city planning emergency? 146 00:06:10,729 --> 00:06:12,629 There's no such thing as a city planning emergency. 147 00:06:12,698 --> 00:06:13,722 - Hi, there. - Hi. 148 00:06:13,799 --> 00:06:14,857 Look at you two. 149 00:06:15,367 --> 00:06:18,928 Ann Perkins, Mark Brendanawicz. "Anndanawicz." 150 00:06:19,405 --> 00:06:22,272 Or "Merkins." No, "Anndanawicz." 151 00:06:22,674 --> 00:06:24,005 You two should be models. 152 00:06:24,076 --> 00:06:27,533 Maybe on the cover of the Parks Department Summer Catalog? 153 00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:30,473 That's not the reason you called me in here, right? 154 00:06:30,548 --> 00:06:32,778 'Cause I just finished a 12-hour shift. If that's the reason... 155 00:06:32,850 --> 00:06:34,374 Come on, Ann. It'd be a huge favor for Leslie. 156 00:06:34,452 --> 00:06:35,919 You know how important this is to her. 157 00:06:35,987 --> 00:06:37,852 - Well, I am in. - Dude! 158 00:06:37,955 --> 00:06:38,979 I am. 159 00:06:39,056 --> 00:06:42,287 We don't have any pictures of just the two of us. 160 00:06:42,994 --> 00:06:46,088 Plus, I've always said we should go on more dates with Tom. 161 00:06:46,164 --> 00:06:47,290 Yeah, you have. 162 00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:49,925 And thank God an opportunity presented itself. 163 00:06:50,001 --> 00:06:51,025 See? Win-win. 164 00:06:51,102 --> 00:06:52,535 Now, Ann, you're gonna change, right? 165 00:06:52,603 --> 00:06:53,865 I guess. 166 00:06:53,938 --> 00:06:55,030 Would it kill you to maybe put on some lipstick? 167 00:06:55,106 --> 00:06:56,164 Do you even own lipstick? 168 00:06:57,408 --> 00:07:00,571 This is probably the first time in history these four great men 169 00:07:00,645 --> 00:07:02,909 have been in the same place at the same time. 170 00:07:02,980 --> 00:07:04,311 It kind of makes you... 171 00:07:05,883 --> 00:07:06,941 What is this? 172 00:07:07,556 --> 00:07:09,103 Sweater swap! She noticed! 173 00:07:09,145 --> 00:07:10,620 - You were right. - Oh, my God. Somebody's here. 174 00:07:10,641 --> 00:07:11,842 Okay. Guys, just act normal. 175 00:07:11,876 --> 00:07:13,366 Please? Just be like normal people. 176 00:07:13,394 --> 00:07:16,830 Hello! Hi! David Moser! I'm Leslie Knope. 177 00:07:16,866 --> 00:07:18,561 It is such an honor to meet you. 178 00:07:18,829 --> 00:07:19,717 Right. 179 00:07:19,764 --> 00:07:21,254 How long is this gonna take? 180 00:07:21,332 --> 00:07:24,859 Oh, not very long. I realize, of course, you're a very busy man. 181 00:07:24,936 --> 00:07:26,164 I love parks. 182 00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:28,480 I don't know if that's something I've communicated before. 183 00:07:28,606 --> 00:07:29,743 So, having a picnic 184 00:07:29,774 --> 00:07:32,937 with all the former living Parks Department Directors... 185 00:07:33,744 --> 00:07:35,869 Guess who just checked something off her bucket list? 186 00:07:36,147 --> 00:07:38,479 Clarence Carrington, David Moser, 187 00:07:38,649 --> 00:07:40,617 Michael Tansley, Ron Swanson, 188 00:07:40,685 --> 00:07:44,397 gathered together on a beautiful day in this beautiful park. 189 00:07:44,555 --> 00:07:46,079 I think we should just take a moment 190 00:07:46,157 --> 00:07:47,647 and appreciate how lucky we are. 191 00:07:48,459 --> 00:07:50,324 I thought you were dead, Clarence. 192 00:07:50,394 --> 00:07:53,021 No. I'm gonna outlive you, then I'm gonna nail your wife. 193 00:07:53,096 --> 00:07:54,529 Screw you, you old coot. 194 00:07:54,598 --> 00:07:56,463 Classic David. You're worse than Ron. 195 00:07:56,533 --> 00:07:58,160 Shut your damn mouth, Tansley. 196 00:07:58,235 --> 00:08:00,032 Okay! Great! Let's go! 197 00:08:01,438 --> 00:08:04,168 When I say "parks," you say "department!" Parks! 198 00:08:05,208 --> 00:08:06,232 Parks! 199 00:08:06,309 --> 00:08:07,298 Apartment! 200 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:12,370 Oh, boy. This is taking a lot longer than I thought it would. 201 00:08:12,443 --> 00:08:14,209 Can you guys run up ahead and set up the picnic? 202 00:08:14,309 --> 00:08:15,503 Sure. 203 00:08:16,380 --> 00:08:18,371 Oh. Where are they going with the food? 204 00:08:18,449 --> 00:08:20,349 I'm starving. I only had one breakfast. 205 00:08:20,418 --> 00:08:21,612 Okay, relax. 206 00:08:21,686 --> 00:08:24,655 Look, what was going on back there? Why all the sniping? 207 00:08:24,722 --> 00:08:25,780 Not exactly sure. 208 00:08:25,857 --> 00:08:27,119 The only one I know is Michael, 209 00:08:27,191 --> 00:08:29,216 and we're not exactly best friends. - Hmm. 210 00:08:29,293 --> 00:08:30,658 I'm hungry. 211 00:08:30,928 --> 00:08:32,520 Okay, well, don't be such a baby. 212 00:08:32,597 --> 00:08:34,929 I cooked you some bacon for a trail snack. 213 00:08:34,999 --> 00:08:36,796 - I ate it already. - What? 214 00:08:36,868 --> 00:08:39,302 I could smell it in your purse before I even parked my car. 215 00:08:39,670 --> 00:08:41,934 And now it's gone. And I hate everything. 216 00:08:44,775 --> 00:08:47,710 Good, good, good. All right. 217 00:08:48,146 --> 00:08:51,013 I think we got the boring clichéd shot that Leslie wanted. 218 00:08:51,082 --> 00:08:52,310 That's it? We're done? 219 00:08:52,383 --> 00:08:53,816 Not even close. 220 00:08:53,885 --> 00:08:55,876 Now the real art begins. 221 00:08:57,088 --> 00:08:58,350 Step one, 222 00:08:58,422 --> 00:09:01,186 nail this photo shoot with an amazing, iconic image. 223 00:09:01,259 --> 00:09:03,659 Step two, book some outside gigs. 224 00:09:03,728 --> 00:09:06,026 Step three, have sex with a model. 225 00:09:06,097 --> 00:09:08,998 Step four, step in front of the camera, become a model. 226 00:09:11,736 --> 00:09:13,727 Go, yes! Keep slithering! Keep slithering! 227 00:09:15,373 --> 00:09:18,102 Ann, can you give me something, anything, in the face? 228 00:09:18,175 --> 00:09:19,472 What do you want me to do? 229 00:09:19,543 --> 00:09:21,306 Do what Mark's doing. He's doing great! 230 00:09:21,378 --> 00:09:22,504 Keep slithering! 231 00:09:22,579 --> 00:09:24,274 I'm not doing anything, so... 232 00:09:25,849 --> 00:09:28,147 Okay, Clarence, um, why don't you describe 233 00:09:28,218 --> 00:09:30,482 the first Summer Pawnee Catalog. 234 00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:35,348 I remember. That first year we offered four classes. 235 00:09:35,425 --> 00:09:37,188 I actually taught Homemaking. 236 00:09:37,727 --> 00:09:39,922 Women were not allowed to teach back then. 237 00:09:40,530 --> 00:09:42,998 Really? I thought there were female teachers way before then. 238 00:09:43,066 --> 00:09:44,693 Not in my department. 239 00:09:46,636 --> 00:09:48,661 Well, times have changed. 240 00:09:48,738 --> 00:09:50,103 I'm Deputy Director now, 241 00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:53,301 but I'm hoping someday to be the first female director of the department. 242 00:09:53,410 --> 00:09:55,378 Oh, I don't think that's a good idea. 243 00:09:55,445 --> 00:10:01,406 Women need a lot of blood to flow through to their baby centers, 244 00:10:02,219 --> 00:10:04,983 which leaves less to the brain, you see. 245 00:10:05,055 --> 00:10:06,784 Yeah. Mmm-hmm. Sure. 246 00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:11,020 I'd stay away from leadership roles, for your own safety. 247 00:10:13,230 --> 00:10:14,595 No! No! 248 00:10:16,132 --> 00:10:17,656 Maybe I should write a song about a picnic. 249 00:10:17,734 --> 00:10:19,998 Ooh, where'd you come up with that idea? 250 00:10:20,604 --> 00:10:21,764 The picnic we're having. 251 00:10:21,838 --> 00:10:25,330 I already have the perfect title, Life is a Picnic. 252 00:10:25,942 --> 00:10:30,777 That's good. How about Life is a Picnic with You? 253 00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:34,642 Whoa! Then it could be about a girl. Or Peyton Manning! 254 00:10:36,086 --> 00:10:37,883 Hmm. You wanna help me write the lyrics? 255 00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:40,113 Yeah, totally. 256 00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:42,051 We should grab a drink after this at Tucker's. 257 00:10:44,026 --> 00:10:46,085 Yeah, I would do that. That sounds fun. 258 00:10:46,161 --> 00:10:48,891 I just have to get my stuff from the office. 259 00:10:49,398 --> 00:10:51,662 But that's... That'd be cool. 260 00:10:52,401 --> 00:10:55,768 David, what was it exactly that called you to the Parks Department? 261 00:10:56,438 --> 00:10:57,962 Well, I was in Public Works for eight years. 262 00:10:58,040 --> 00:11:02,409 But the director was pretty young. Clarence was old and weak. 263 00:11:03,145 --> 00:11:06,137 So, I put in for a transfer, swooped in and pushed him out. 264 00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:11,879 There was no other reason you wanted the job? 265 00:11:12,087 --> 00:11:14,214 No. Just the money and the pension. 266 00:11:15,057 --> 00:11:16,547 The actual job's a nightmare. 267 00:11:17,393 --> 00:11:20,521 I mean, who gives a crap about this crap. 268 00:11:25,334 --> 00:11:27,268 Well, David, I think we've talked enough. 269 00:11:27,603 --> 00:11:29,628 Mark, that's great. Bobby, great. 270 00:11:29,705 --> 00:11:33,141 Ann, you look miserable! Terrible. Terrible! 271 00:11:33,575 --> 00:11:36,703 Come on, Ann. What are we doing? Maxim or Good Housekeeping? 272 00:11:37,012 --> 00:11:38,980 I'm not sure which one is the insult. 273 00:11:39,048 --> 00:11:40,948 Hey, if there's anyone out there that's doing a photo shoot 274 00:11:41,016 --> 00:11:43,143 about the dangers of eating undercooked chicken, 275 00:11:43,218 --> 00:11:44,776 I can give you Ann's phone number. 276 00:11:45,187 --> 00:11:46,848 Okay, let's stop for a second. 277 00:11:47,556 --> 00:11:50,099 - Bobby, I love how you work. - Yay! 278 00:11:50,267 --> 00:11:51,723 You can have as many juice boxes as you want. 279 00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:54,058 In fact, grab me one, too. Make it an apple. 280 00:11:54,129 --> 00:11:57,147 Mark, great job, you can have a juice box, too. 281 00:11:57,733 --> 00:11:59,360 Ann, take a walk with me. 282 00:11:59,735 --> 00:12:01,669 In a million years, I never thought you would be 283 00:12:01,737 --> 00:12:03,432 the problem with this photo shoot. 284 00:12:03,505 --> 00:12:05,871 Didn't you just plan this, like, two hours ago? 285 00:12:05,941 --> 00:12:07,431 I just don't get it. 286 00:12:07,509 --> 00:12:09,703 How could someone so hot be so bad at looking hot? 287 00:12:09,777 --> 00:12:12,109 I'm sorry I'm not a professional model. 288 00:12:12,180 --> 00:12:14,808 And screaming, "Make your face better!" doesn't help. 289 00:12:14,882 --> 00:12:17,146 Well, I'm sorry, your face just isn't working. 290 00:12:17,218 --> 00:12:20,085 And we need to do something to distract from this boring area. 291 00:12:20,455 --> 00:12:22,582 Now, I didn't want to have to do this, but we may have to go nude. 292 00:12:22,690 --> 00:12:23,679 Goodbye, Tom! 293 00:12:23,758 --> 00:12:24,816 Fair enough. I totally understand. 294 00:12:24,892 --> 00:12:26,223 But we should get one for safety. 295 00:12:26,861 --> 00:12:29,386 Okay, guys. We're almost there. It's right up here. 296 00:12:29,464 --> 00:12:30,897 You really shouldn't be leading us. 297 00:12:30,965 --> 00:12:32,933 If you're menstruating, you'll attract bears. 298 00:12:34,148 --> 00:12:36,467 Holy God. Okay. 299 00:12:36,738 --> 00:12:38,069 Here we are. 300 00:12:38,895 --> 00:12:40,055 Eat. 301 00:12:41,142 --> 00:12:42,939 Well, it hasn't gone exactly as I've hoped. 302 00:12:43,010 --> 00:12:46,036 But I got them all here and we're gonna have a beautiful picnic. 303 00:12:47,014 --> 00:12:48,709 It's gonna... It's gonna be good. 304 00:12:48,783 --> 00:12:49,875 Hey. 305 00:12:50,651 --> 00:12:52,846 I just whizzed on a butterfly! 306 00:12:56,190 --> 00:12:57,475 Well, gentlemen, as you know, 307 00:12:57,500 --> 00:12:59,819 I'm working on my welcome letter for the Summer Catalog. 308 00:12:59,861 --> 00:13:01,761 You should just copy the Eagleton one. 309 00:13:01,853 --> 00:13:03,704 I used to just copy the Eagleton one. 310 00:13:04,132 --> 00:13:06,513 Did you? I was hoping that maybe you could talk to me 311 00:13:06,534 --> 00:13:09,084 a little bit about how the department has changed since you ran it. 312 00:13:09,119 --> 00:13:11,553 Well, I think you've done a wonderful job maintaining the parks. 313 00:13:11,590 --> 00:13:13,251 Thank you, Michael. I appreciate that. 314 00:13:13,307 --> 00:13:15,071 Did you enjoy your turn at the helm? 315 00:13:15,104 --> 00:13:16,279 Oh, in a way. 316 00:13:16,310 --> 00:13:17,979 Pencil pushing wasn't really my thing, 317 00:13:18,011 --> 00:13:19,800 but I did love the parks themselves. 318 00:13:19,837 --> 00:13:22,485 - That was the best part of the job. - Oh, isn't it? I totally agree. 319 00:13:22,517 --> 00:13:24,417 Well, thank goodness for you. 320 00:13:24,773 --> 00:13:27,085 Yes, thank goodness for Michael. 321 00:13:27,522 --> 00:13:29,513 Are you still on parole, by the way? 322 00:13:29,590 --> 00:13:31,615 Oh, ha, ha. Very funny, Ron. 323 00:13:31,726 --> 00:13:32,988 Yes. Yes, Ron, I am. 324 00:13:33,294 --> 00:13:35,022 - What? - He smoked pot. 325 00:13:35,128 --> 00:13:37,858 In the office. And in all the parks. Constantly. 326 00:13:37,931 --> 00:13:39,626 In fairness to me, it was a different time. 327 00:13:39,699 --> 00:13:40,723 It was the early '90s. 328 00:13:40,801 --> 00:13:44,532 But also, it's ridiculous that marijuana is illegal. 329 00:13:44,771 --> 00:13:47,471 Thomas Jefferson grew hemp. 330 00:13:47,641 --> 00:13:50,542 Alcohol is legal, but pot isn't? 331 00:13:51,812 --> 00:13:53,302 That makes sense to you, Ron? 332 00:13:53,380 --> 00:13:55,823 I'm sorry, I can't hear hippies. 333 00:13:57,717 --> 00:14:01,016 So, if you had to sleep with one of the old guys, who would it be? 334 00:14:01,087 --> 00:14:02,111 The super-old one. 335 00:14:02,189 --> 00:14:03,178 Really? 336 00:14:03,256 --> 00:14:05,281 Mmm-hmm. I'm an eyebrow girl. 337 00:14:05,892 --> 00:14:08,535 I wanna make out with him and chew his eyebrows off. 338 00:14:09,229 --> 00:14:11,297 That is really gross. 339 00:14:11,431 --> 00:14:13,189 Anybody got any water? 340 00:14:13,567 --> 00:14:16,593 I want water. I'm so old, I need to drink water. 341 00:14:16,670 --> 00:14:18,467 Oh, stop it, stop taunting him. 342 00:14:18,538 --> 00:14:20,165 I don't need your help, jailbird. 343 00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:23,903 If there's any unclaimed meat or cheese, I would like to claim it. 344 00:14:23,977 --> 00:14:25,311 Yeah. Like you claimed my job? 345 00:14:25,357 --> 00:14:28,292 Yes. Exactly like that, in that I wanted it, and then I took it. 346 00:14:28,323 --> 00:14:29,519 Okay, guys, you know what I would love? 347 00:14:29,556 --> 00:14:31,876 I would love if anybody just said something positive 348 00:14:31,952 --> 00:14:33,733 about, oh, I don't know, anything. 349 00:14:33,762 --> 00:14:37,698 I agree. Let's just relax, smoke another J, and all calm down. 350 00:14:37,809 --> 00:14:38,651 Another? 351 00:14:38,673 --> 00:14:41,863 By the way, it's ridiculous that pot is illegal. 352 00:14:41,895 --> 00:14:44,599 It grows in the ground! 353 00:14:44,631 --> 00:14:47,725 I've planted marijuana in community gardens all over the city, 354 00:14:47,776 --> 00:14:49,532 and it hasn't hurt anyone! - What? 355 00:14:49,559 --> 00:14:50,804 You know, Michael? You are one 356 00:14:50,829 --> 00:14:53,593 pot-loving mother pain in the rectum. 357 00:14:53,633 --> 00:14:57,091 Okay, stop it! Stop it! You're all being awful, horrible men! 358 00:14:57,126 --> 00:15:00,425 Uh-oh. Your little friend come to visit? 359 00:15:00,446 --> 00:15:04,137 Clarence, if you mention anything about women, 360 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:07,067 or menstruation, or anything, 361 00:15:07,136 --> 00:15:09,627 I'm gonna take your face and I'm gonna shove it in those brambles. 362 00:15:09,706 --> 00:15:11,173 - Yes! - No! You're next, buddy. 363 00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:12,969 Andy! Let's take this picture. 364 00:15:13,042 --> 00:15:14,404 Come on! Get out of your seats, turds. 365 00:15:14,444 --> 00:15:15,672 - What? - Line up over there. 366 00:15:15,745 --> 00:15:18,509 Come on. Just please try to look human. 367 00:15:18,581 --> 00:15:19,809 All right, and not so evil. 368 00:15:19,882 --> 00:15:21,645 Everybody looking here. One, two, three. 369 00:15:21,711 --> 00:15:23,144 Thank you so much for the wonderful memories. 370 00:15:23,181 --> 00:15:24,860 - Everybody take their stuff and go. - Ooh, ooh, ooh. 371 00:15:24,893 --> 00:15:26,724 Can we do one funny-face one? 372 00:15:29,590 --> 00:15:30,833 Do you have that picture that Andy took? 373 00:15:30,872 --> 00:15:32,533 Maybe I'll run it without any text. 374 00:15:32,595 --> 00:15:36,554 Yeah. I tried to Photoshop it to make it look like they were happy. 375 00:15:36,601 --> 00:15:39,016 It was really hard. Their mouths are so old. 376 00:15:39,139 --> 00:15:41,322 God! Look at these horrible men. 377 00:15:41,375 --> 00:15:43,673 You know, I don't even know if I want them in my catalog. 378 00:15:43,744 --> 00:15:46,786 Would you like these men in your catalog? 379 00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:48,806 Oh, my God, April. That's disgusting. 380 00:15:48,881 --> 00:15:51,095 What? Look how generous they're being with each other. 381 00:15:51,285 --> 00:15:52,980 And here's the "Obstruction" series. 382 00:15:53,053 --> 00:15:54,711 What do you think? Amazing, right? 383 00:15:55,222 --> 00:15:57,122 I call this one "The Future." 384 00:15:58,292 --> 00:15:59,981 It's completely blurry. 385 00:16:00,194 --> 00:16:02,250 Yes, it is, Ann. 386 00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:05,799 What about the ones we took on the swing? The normal ones? 387 00:16:05,900 --> 00:16:08,274 You mean the "Unhappy Wife" photos? 388 00:16:09,870 --> 00:16:13,045 Oh, my God. These are even worse, somehow. 389 00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:14,423 I look miserable. 390 00:16:14,475 --> 00:16:15,840 You do look kind of miserable. 391 00:16:15,909 --> 00:16:18,434 Now you know what I meant by, "Make your face better." 392 00:16:18,493 --> 00:16:20,465 Was there something wrong, Ann? 393 00:16:20,681 --> 00:16:24,441 Well, I had just gotten off a long shift. He was being really annoying. 394 00:16:24,785 --> 00:16:26,294 Mark looks happy. 395 00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:28,769 Just please don't use these, okay? 396 00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:31,205 Let's grab some dinner. 397 00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:32,841 Sure. 398 00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:36,025 Hey, Ron. You want me to read you 399 00:16:36,051 --> 00:16:37,775 what I have so far in my welcome letter? 400 00:16:37,858 --> 00:16:40,575 Nothing. Because you and your jerk predecessors 401 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,419 didn't give me anything to work with. 402 00:16:42,801 --> 00:16:45,133 Did you print this out? 403 00:16:45,164 --> 00:16:46,395 I heard the printer going. 404 00:16:46,435 --> 00:16:47,385 Yes. 405 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,465 You could've just handed me a blank piece of paper. 406 00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:52,739 Oh! Wisdom! Finally. Thank you so much. 407 00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:55,380 You can also keep the photo. Thanks for the memories. 408 00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:58,410 Good God. I don't remember this. 409 00:16:58,484 --> 00:16:59,883 That... That's the wrong one. 410 00:16:59,952 --> 00:17:02,216 But the real one's very bad as well. 411 00:17:02,789 --> 00:17:04,586 I want you to know that I'm replacing the "Welcome Letter" 412 00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:07,251 with this ad for Yearning by Dennis Feinstein. 413 00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:10,190 So goodbye, distilled wisdom of 50 years of experience. 414 00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:12,612 Hello, disgusting fragrance flap. 415 00:17:13,099 --> 00:17:14,157 Let me buy you dinner. 416 00:17:14,233 --> 00:17:16,726 No. I insist you buy me dinner. 417 00:17:16,836 --> 00:17:19,532 - Get a drink. Whatever. - Okay. 418 00:17:19,605 --> 00:17:20,936 - ID. - I'm 24. 419 00:17:21,007 --> 00:17:22,407 No, you're not. 420 00:17:22,942 --> 00:17:24,585 Okay, I'm 25. 421 00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:25,804 No old jokes, please. 422 00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:27,194 ID. 423 00:17:34,821 --> 00:17:36,852 It says right here you're 20. 424 00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:39,671 You're not even gonna show me a fake? 425 00:17:40,827 --> 00:17:43,695 Sometimes the confidence confuses people. 426 00:17:43,763 --> 00:17:44,855 You're good, bro. 427 00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:47,491 You know what? I think I'll just... I'm gonna... 428 00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:51,265 Hey, I know another bar that always lets me in, 429 00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:53,602 if you just wanna go there. 430 00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:56,890 Uh... yeah, actually, I should get going home. 431 00:17:57,175 --> 00:17:58,543 I have a lot of stuff to do. 432 00:17:58,710 --> 00:18:02,087 So, I should go home. Clean and stuff. 433 00:18:02,647 --> 00:18:03,944 But... 434 00:18:04,282 --> 00:18:05,408 Yeah, okay, cool. 435 00:18:05,484 --> 00:18:08,510 Yeah, I gotta go home, too. So... 436 00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:09,576 All right. 437 00:18:11,089 --> 00:18:12,631 See you! 438 00:18:14,059 --> 00:18:15,406 Later. 439 00:18:17,611 --> 00:18:19,681 - The usual, Marta. - Me, too, Marta. 440 00:18:19,731 --> 00:18:20,996 You got it. 441 00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:24,708 Oh, Ron, I really made love to the pooch on this one. 442 00:18:25,303 --> 00:18:26,292 Screwed the pooch? 443 00:18:26,371 --> 00:18:28,627 I don't like that term. It's so vulgar. 444 00:18:29,541 --> 00:18:31,300 Ron! 445 00:18:32,377 --> 00:18:35,158 That sucked, today. I'm sorry. There's no other way to say it. 446 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:37,578 They're a bunch of career bureaucrats. 447 00:18:37,649 --> 00:18:39,686 What did you think they were gonna say to you? 448 00:18:39,751 --> 00:18:41,784 "Leslie, you are the next link in a wonderful chain 449 00:18:41,820 --> 00:18:43,608 "that stretches back to when our town was founded, 450 00:18:43,655 --> 00:18:45,257 "and we believe in you and we support you 451 00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:46,902 "and we'll be following your career. 452 00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:48,696 "You are the chosen one." 453 00:18:48,994 --> 00:18:50,116 Or something. 454 00:18:50,262 --> 00:18:52,287 Well, okay, so, that was the problem. 455 00:18:52,364 --> 00:18:55,561 No. You know what the worst part is is I wanna be Parks Director. 456 00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:58,501 But every single person who was Parks Director hated their job 457 00:18:58,570 --> 00:19:00,299 and hated everyone they worked with. 458 00:19:03,275 --> 00:19:04,867 Are we gonna hate each other someday? 459 00:19:06,211 --> 00:19:09,112 I don't think so. I think we're gonna be fine. 460 00:19:11,483 --> 00:19:12,609 Anyway, the point's moot, 461 00:19:12,684 --> 00:19:15,312 because you're Park Director now and you're not going anywhere 462 00:19:15,387 --> 00:19:17,149 and I'm not making you go anywhere. 463 00:19:17,221 --> 00:19:19,519 I'm not gonna stab you in the back or anything, so... 464 00:19:19,590 --> 00:19:22,559 Maybe I should go somewhere. Maybe I should move, to Eagleton. 465 00:19:23,594 --> 00:19:25,118 Oh, God, the thought of that. 466 00:19:25,196 --> 00:19:27,687 Leslie, you don't have to move to Eagleton. 467 00:19:28,098 --> 00:19:31,033 When I become City Manager, my job is yours. 468 00:19:32,736 --> 00:19:34,829 Of course, my first act as City Manager 469 00:19:34,905 --> 00:19:37,669 will be to propose eliminating the Parks Department. 470 00:19:38,008 --> 00:19:40,568 Although I expect a spirited debate with Leslie. 471 00:19:40,678 --> 00:19:42,942 Who knows what the future holds for me? 472 00:19:43,013 --> 00:19:46,380 Maybe I'll leapfrog Ron's job and become City Manager. 473 00:19:47,184 --> 00:19:48,981 Of course, my first act as City Manager 474 00:19:49,053 --> 00:19:51,283 would be to double the size of the Parks Department. 475 00:19:52,022 --> 00:19:54,718 Although, I do expect a fight from Ron. 476 00:19:56,193 --> 00:19:57,182 But I'll win. 477 00:19:57,695 --> 00:19:58,684 Mmm! 478 00:19:59,363 --> 00:20:00,421 Thank you, darling. 479 00:20:00,497 --> 00:20:03,398 Why would anybody ever eat anything besides breakfast food? 480 00:20:03,467 --> 00:20:05,492 People are idiots, Leslie. 481 00:20:11,475 --> 00:20:12,464 The wait is over! 482 00:20:12,543 --> 00:20:13,567 Oh, yeah! 483 00:20:13,644 --> 00:20:14,770 Yeah! 484 00:20:14,879 --> 00:20:16,073 Look what's here. 485 00:20:16,981 --> 00:20:18,039 We got... 486 00:20:18,115 --> 00:20:21,084 "My fellow Pawneeans... Yes, it's here! 487 00:20:21,151 --> 00:20:23,745 "The Parks Department's Summer Catalog has arrived 488 00:20:23,954 --> 00:20:26,718 "and for the first time in 20 years, tennis is back! 489 00:20:27,258 --> 00:20:29,590 "Peruse this wondrous book at your leisure 490 00:20:29,660 --> 00:20:32,754 "and take advantage of everything this great town has to offer. 491 00:20:33,264 --> 00:20:35,789 "Time is fleeting, my fellow Pawneeans. 492 00:20:35,866 --> 00:20:37,766 "Make the most of it, while you can. 493 00:20:38,836 --> 00:20:41,168 "I recently had the honor of spending an afternoon 494 00:20:41,238 --> 00:20:43,967 "with every living former Parks Director, 495 00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:46,099 "and they taught me a valuable lesson, 496 00:20:46,709 --> 00:20:49,507 "there is nothing more important than friendship." 497 00:20:50,947 --> 00:20:51,971 It's a little flowery. 498 00:20:52,048 --> 00:20:53,140 Shut up. 499 00:20:55,455 --> 00:20:56,945 I gotta hand it to Michael. 500 00:20:57,023 --> 00:21:01,084 His water-pipe-making skills were most impressive. 501 00:21:01,161 --> 00:21:02,355 I once saw him smoke pot 502 00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:05,887 out of a 20-foot length of garden hose and a milk jug. 503 00:21:05,999 --> 00:21:08,900 That guy made a water pipe out of a stuffed raccoon. 504 00:21:08,969 --> 00:21:10,300 - No way. - No, I'm not kidding. 505 00:21:10,370 --> 00:21:12,497 He made a bong out of a taxidermied raccoon? 506 00:21:12,572 --> 00:21:14,335 I caught him smoking pot out of it 507 00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:16,238 not three feet from where we're standing. 508 00:21:17,110 --> 00:21:18,941 Oh, nice shot. 509 00:21:19,012 --> 00:21:21,344 Right in Clarence's ancient junk. 510 00:21:24,050 --> 00:21:25,108 In the neck!