1 00:00:02,163 --> 00:00:03,858 Leslie, can I run something by you really quick? 2 00:00:03,931 --> 00:00:06,126 Sure! I love having things run by me. 3 00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:07,895 I feel like you're being sarcastic right now. 4 00:00:07,969 --> 00:00:09,960 No, no. I'm not. I genuinely love it. 5 00:00:10,037 --> 00:00:11,595 Run it by me. Go ahead! Go, go, go. 6 00:00:11,672 --> 00:00:13,640 Okay, so I've been a little worried that Ann maybe thinks 7 00:00:13,708 --> 00:00:16,302 that our relationship isn't moving forward fast enough. 8 00:00:16,377 --> 00:00:18,744 And so I'm wondering 9 00:00:18,814 --> 00:00:22,045 if maybe I should ask her if she would like to move in with me. 10 00:00:22,551 --> 00:00:24,849 Good idea? Bad idea? You tell me. 11 00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:27,821 I would say that some women won't consider moving in with someone 12 00:00:27,889 --> 00:00:30,323 unless they think marriage is in the future, which I know, for you is... 13 00:00:30,392 --> 00:00:32,292 I intend to marry her. 14 00:00:34,596 --> 00:00:35,654 For realskies? 15 00:00:35,731 --> 00:00:40,532 I'm not really quite sure how I feel. I... It's a little weird. 16 00:00:40,702 --> 00:00:42,602 I mean, I'm happy for them. They're my friends. 17 00:00:42,671 --> 00:00:43,797 It makes me a little nauseous. 18 00:00:43,872 --> 00:00:47,273 If I could just sum it up in one word, it would be... 19 00:01:19,909 --> 00:01:21,467 Parks and Rec. 20 00:01:23,747 --> 00:01:25,339 Confirming what? 21 00:01:26,550 --> 00:01:28,347 That's not possible. 22 00:01:31,855 --> 00:01:33,049 Oh, no! 23 00:01:34,358 --> 00:01:36,121 Hey! Good morning. 24 00:01:36,193 --> 00:01:37,751 Why are there six people outside 25 00:01:37,828 --> 00:01:39,819 who say they're waiting to meet with me? 26 00:01:39,897 --> 00:01:42,092 So, you know how you love me because 27 00:01:42,166 --> 00:01:43,690 you haven't had a single meeting with anyone 28 00:01:43,767 --> 00:01:45,291 since I became your assistant? 29 00:01:45,436 --> 00:01:46,733 That's because 30 00:01:46,804 --> 00:01:49,671 every time someone calls and requests a meeting with you, 31 00:01:49,740 --> 00:01:52,038 I always schedule it for March 31st. 32 00:01:52,109 --> 00:01:53,133 Why? 33 00:01:53,210 --> 00:01:56,180 Because I didn't think March 31st existed. 34 00:01:56,247 --> 00:01:59,683 Thirty days has September, April, March and November... 35 00:01:59,751 --> 00:02:04,484 June and November. Today is March 31st. 36 00:02:04,589 --> 00:02:05,647 I know. 37 00:02:05,723 --> 00:02:08,624 So, then, how many meetings do I have today? 38 00:02:09,294 --> 00:02:10,318 Ninety-three. 39 00:02:10,395 --> 00:02:15,025 Okay. Okay. Well, you know what to do. 40 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:16,692 Right. 41 00:02:16,774 --> 00:02:21,609 To me, this situation is a blood-soaked, nightmarish hellscape. 42 00:02:22,383 --> 00:02:25,501 - However, to Leslie Knope... - Oh, how fun. 43 00:02:25,526 --> 00:02:26,411 Yay. 44 00:02:26,449 --> 00:02:29,009 Why don't you take as many as you can, and I'll cover the rest. 45 00:02:29,048 --> 00:02:30,072 I have a better idea. 46 00:02:30,149 --> 00:02:32,766 Why don't I try to rustle up seven more meetings, 47 00:02:32,816 --> 00:02:35,341 'cause I think it would be cooler if there were an even 100... 48 00:02:35,387 --> 00:02:37,947 Just... Why don't we just stick to these 93 and see how it goes? 49 00:02:38,023 --> 00:02:39,047 Yeah, okay. 50 00:02:39,125 --> 00:02:40,524 This is the perfect distraction for me. 51 00:02:40,759 --> 00:02:43,956 Okay, so I have everything I need, right? I have a fresh cup of coffee, 52 00:02:44,029 --> 00:02:45,519 comfy fur-lined boots. 53 00:02:45,598 --> 00:02:47,361 I'm gonna need those boots back by the end of the day. 54 00:02:47,433 --> 00:02:50,300 Yeah, no problem. They're actually a little narrow for me. 55 00:02:50,369 --> 00:02:51,893 Leslie, here's a guy. 56 00:02:51,971 --> 00:02:53,700 Hi, I'm Leslie Knope, Deputy Director. 57 00:02:53,772 --> 00:02:56,263 Bill Haggerty, Pawnee Historical Society. 58 00:02:56,342 --> 00:02:58,106 I'm supposed to be meeting with Ron Swanson. 59 00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:59,873 I understand that. He's tied up right now. 60 00:02:59,946 --> 00:03:02,278 What a shocker. I've been trying to meet with him for three months, 61 00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:05,978 and now he's not available. It's probably too late now, but, 62 00:03:06,052 --> 00:03:07,542 some rich woman, Jessica Wicks, 63 00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:09,282 has rented out Turnbill Mansion 64 00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:12,052 for a party, and she's making alterations. 65 00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:13,524 "Alterations"? 66 00:03:13,593 --> 00:03:17,120 Turnbill Mansion is one of the most beloved historical sites in Pawnee. 67 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:20,428 In 1867, the progressive Reverend Turnbill 68 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:25,570 officiated a wedding between a white woman and a Wamapoke Indian chief. 69 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:29,901 The secret ceremony was beautiful and romantic. 70 00:03:31,145 --> 00:03:34,706 But then word got out, and the reception was a bloodbath. 71 00:03:37,218 --> 00:03:39,846 Fortunately, there were two survivors. 72 00:03:40,354 --> 00:03:42,322 Unfortunately, they were both horses. 73 00:03:43,024 --> 00:03:45,925 Hold up. Former beauty queen Jessica Wicks? 74 00:03:46,194 --> 00:03:47,781 - Yes. - I'm Tom Haverford. 75 00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:49,056 I'm gonna be running point on this, Bill. 76 00:03:49,130 --> 00:03:50,722 Hey, why didn't you try to stop her? 77 00:03:50,798 --> 00:03:53,289 Her husband is Nick Newport Sr. From Sweetums. 78 00:03:53,367 --> 00:03:55,392 Everyone in this town is afraid to say no to him. 79 00:03:55,469 --> 00:03:58,836 Okay, everybody just relax. What alterations is she trying to make? 80 00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:03,003 Drilling holes, painting, removing wainscoting, 81 00:04:03,078 --> 00:04:04,636 she's tearing down the gazebo... 82 00:04:04,713 --> 00:04:07,238 What? She's what? No, she's not. 83 00:04:07,316 --> 00:04:08,749 Okay. Tom, go get the car. 84 00:04:08,917 --> 00:04:10,544 - Ow! - Sorry. 85 00:04:10,619 --> 00:04:11,813 Don't throw things at me. 86 00:04:11,887 --> 00:04:12,911 God, these are tight! 87 00:04:13,655 --> 00:04:17,022 I'll devise an action plan to help us coordinate better among the departments. 88 00:04:17,092 --> 00:04:19,583 - Will you? Great. Thanks for coming in. - Yeah. 89 00:04:19,661 --> 00:04:20,650 Who's next? 90 00:04:20,729 --> 00:04:22,026 Tom, I'll meet you at the car. 91 00:04:22,097 --> 00:04:24,292 Where the hell are you going? We have 91 more meetings! 92 00:04:24,366 --> 00:04:26,300 I'm sorry, Ron, as much as I would like to go 93 00:04:26,368 --> 00:04:28,529 for the "all-time City Hall single day meetings record," 94 00:04:28,604 --> 00:04:30,265 there is an emergency. 95 00:04:30,339 --> 00:04:32,864 Someone is trying to alter a gazebo. 96 00:04:36,246 --> 00:04:37,406 Hey. 97 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:38,970 Oh, hey, Ann. Sorry I can't hang out. 98 00:04:39,048 --> 00:04:40,037 I kind of have an emergency. 99 00:04:40,116 --> 00:04:42,209 Oh, I'm actually here to see Mark. 100 00:04:42,285 --> 00:04:43,877 Right. Well, thanks for the coffee. 101 00:04:43,953 --> 00:04:45,750 That's also for Mark. 102 00:04:45,822 --> 00:04:46,846 I really need it, though. 103 00:04:46,923 --> 00:04:49,721 But next time more sugar, okay? Thanks, bye. 104 00:04:49,926 --> 00:04:51,325 Do you want me to postpone the rest? 105 00:04:51,394 --> 00:04:53,521 Or I could set myself on fire and create a diversion? 106 00:04:53,596 --> 00:04:55,996 No. I'm gonna do all of these today. 107 00:04:56,065 --> 00:04:59,694 Round up whoever's free. I'm gonna need more Ron Swansons. 108 00:05:00,870 --> 00:05:02,667 Look at that. It's gorgeous. 109 00:05:02,739 --> 00:05:05,708 What kind of monster would wanna change this? 110 00:05:07,111 --> 00:05:10,603 Pre-zit. Do you have any brown concealer by any chance? 111 00:05:10,681 --> 00:05:12,342 I need to look good for Jessica. 112 00:05:12,416 --> 00:05:14,803 You know, they may be rich, but they can't just destroy history. 113 00:05:14,852 --> 00:05:16,615 - Let's go. - I'm right behind you. 114 00:05:16,687 --> 00:05:19,884 I just need to spend a minute in my cologne cloud. 115 00:05:20,858 --> 00:05:22,189 What is that? 116 00:05:22,259 --> 00:05:23,658 Attack by Dennis Feinstein. 117 00:05:23,727 --> 00:05:25,957 When you wanna attack the senses of the lady you wanna bed. 118 00:05:26,030 --> 00:05:27,395 Oh, my God! 119 00:05:27,731 --> 00:05:30,165 Door! Door! Door, door! Close it! 120 00:05:31,802 --> 00:05:35,636 So basically, we're completely swamped. All hands on deck. 121 00:05:35,773 --> 00:05:37,172 I don't even work in this building. 122 00:05:37,241 --> 00:05:41,110 Don't care. I need anyone with a pulse and a brain to pitch in. 123 00:05:41,179 --> 00:05:42,908 Ron, do you need help with anything? 124 00:05:42,981 --> 00:05:46,542 No, we're good. Thanks. In fact, you can head home early. 125 00:05:46,818 --> 00:05:49,685 Right, now the four of us are gonna divvy up all these meetings. 126 00:05:49,754 --> 00:05:52,188 Just make them feel like they've been heard. Understood? 127 00:05:52,257 --> 00:05:55,988 Yes, sir. Bert Macklin, FBI, on the case. 128 00:05:57,195 --> 00:05:59,186 April, you take Leslie's office. 129 00:05:59,264 --> 00:06:00,663 Andy, you're in the conference room. 130 00:06:00,732 --> 00:06:02,666 Ann, take your meetings in the courtyard. 131 00:06:02,734 --> 00:06:06,627 Just sit there and don't ruin the city. 132 00:06:06,905 --> 00:06:08,236 Dismissed. 133 00:06:10,109 --> 00:06:11,633 What are you doing? 134 00:06:11,711 --> 00:06:13,008 Can I get a badge? 135 00:06:13,746 --> 00:06:17,375 Hey, I brought you a coffee, help you get through the day. 136 00:06:17,616 --> 00:06:19,083 Thanks, dude! 137 00:06:19,952 --> 00:06:21,817 No problem, lady! 138 00:06:27,026 --> 00:06:28,516 - I'm gonna go. - Okay. 139 00:06:28,594 --> 00:06:31,654 April is the best but she's 20. 140 00:06:32,365 --> 00:06:34,265 When April was born, I was already in third grade, 141 00:06:34,333 --> 00:06:35,960 which means if we were friends back then, 142 00:06:36,035 --> 00:06:38,902 I'd have been hanging out with a baby. 143 00:06:38,971 --> 00:06:41,702 I don't know anything about infant care. 144 00:06:42,309 --> 00:06:44,038 My God, I could have killed her! 145 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:48,575 Ah, Mr. Newport Sr. 146 00:06:48,682 --> 00:06:51,310 I've just been informed that you plan on altering this mansion. 147 00:06:51,385 --> 00:06:53,410 And as a member of the Parks Department, 148 00:06:53,487 --> 00:06:55,546 as a Pawneean and an American, 149 00:06:55,722 --> 00:06:59,419 I ask you to refrain from harming this historic structure. 150 00:07:00,794 --> 00:07:01,783 What? 151 00:07:01,862 --> 00:07:03,454 I'll take care of this, love nut. 152 00:07:03,530 --> 00:07:05,054 - Biscuit. - Yeah. 153 00:07:05,298 --> 00:07:08,961 Hi, I'm Jessica Wicks, Miss Pawnee 1994. 154 00:07:09,035 --> 00:07:10,229 Hello, yes. We've met before. 155 00:07:10,303 --> 00:07:12,328 We were both judges at the pageant last year. 156 00:07:12,406 --> 00:07:15,171 Leslie Knorp. Of course! How are you? 157 00:07:15,243 --> 00:07:18,974 Jessica Wicks. Hey, boo! Are you aging in reverse? 158 00:07:19,046 --> 00:07:20,911 'Cause you look barely legal. 159 00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:23,576 Tom Haverford. If you're not the most charming man in Indiana. 160 00:07:23,651 --> 00:07:26,449 And this must be the luckiest man in Indiana. 161 00:07:26,521 --> 00:07:28,853 Sir, it is an honor to meet you. 162 00:07:29,791 --> 00:07:31,315 Come here, you! 163 00:07:33,394 --> 00:07:36,522 Tell me straight, are you a Chinese? 164 00:07:36,597 --> 00:07:39,691 No! I'm one of the Indian people. 165 00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:43,767 That floppy old bag of money is gonna be dead in like a month. 166 00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:47,741 And who's going to comfort Jessica and her millions of dollars? 167 00:07:48,177 --> 00:07:51,977 Yeah, Jessica is a gold-digger. But I'm a gold-digger-digger. 168 00:07:53,382 --> 00:07:55,680 So, how did you and Mr. Newport meet? 169 00:07:55,751 --> 00:07:58,242 I was doing a ribbon-cutting at the hospital, 170 00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:01,187 and he was there because his blood doesn't work. 171 00:08:01,256 --> 00:08:05,022 And we started talking, and then I realized who he was. 172 00:08:06,195 --> 00:08:08,220 Oh, my gosh! It was love at first sight! 173 00:08:08,363 --> 00:08:10,422 Oh, that sounds so romantic. 174 00:08:10,632 --> 00:08:14,090 Um, Jessica, I know you've rented out this house for a party. 175 00:08:14,169 --> 00:08:15,693 But it's on the historical register, 176 00:08:15,771 --> 00:08:19,105 so we can't allow any changes. I'm so sorry. 177 00:08:19,175 --> 00:08:21,166 It's a little late for that, sweetheart. 178 00:08:21,244 --> 00:08:23,542 I told them what I was doing months ago. 179 00:08:23,613 --> 00:08:27,049 Where I come from, there's a saying, "What's done is done." 180 00:08:27,116 --> 00:08:28,208 That's a saying everywhere. 181 00:08:28,284 --> 00:08:29,308 I've never heard it before 182 00:08:29,385 --> 00:08:30,579 and I think it's a great saying. 183 00:08:30,653 --> 00:08:33,302 Well, maybe we can just limit the damage. How much have you done? 184 00:08:33,756 --> 00:08:35,812 You painted this? 185 00:08:35,892 --> 00:08:38,861 Uh-huh. Miami Teal is Nicky's favorite color. 186 00:08:38,928 --> 00:08:41,084 We also replaced some of the sconces, 187 00:08:41,130 --> 00:08:44,065 got rid of the furniture, painted these floors black... 188 00:08:44,133 --> 00:08:46,067 Oh, no. These were the original hardwood floors. 189 00:08:46,169 --> 00:08:49,435 Yeah. They were all scratched up. I did you a favor. 190 00:08:49,507 --> 00:08:51,771 Come on in here. I'll show you guys what we did in the sitting room. 191 00:08:51,842 --> 00:08:54,367 - I can't... - After you. I'd hate to miss the view. 192 00:08:54,445 --> 00:08:57,903 You little devil. I should just pay you to follow me around. 193 00:08:57,982 --> 00:08:59,550 If that's a job offer, I accept. 194 00:08:59,594 --> 00:09:01,027 Oh, my God! 195 00:09:01,151 --> 00:09:03,585 Why did you have to drill holes in the wall? 196 00:09:03,721 --> 00:09:06,189 To hang my birthday present to Nicky. 197 00:09:07,124 --> 00:09:08,421 My heavens! 198 00:09:08,492 --> 00:09:09,720 Isn't there a way that you could've... 199 00:09:09,793 --> 00:09:11,420 Oh, my! 200 00:09:12,596 --> 00:09:15,030 History is important. You just can't go around 201 00:09:15,099 --> 00:09:16,862 changing everything all of the time. 202 00:09:16,934 --> 00:09:20,529 Or else next thing you know, they'll be painting the White House 203 00:09:20,604 --> 00:09:21,936 not white. 204 00:09:23,241 --> 00:09:26,176 I'm so angry, I can't think of another color. 205 00:09:26,711 --> 00:09:27,769 Green. 206 00:09:29,606 --> 00:09:32,248 So, your department banned me from attending games 207 00:09:32,276 --> 00:09:35,143 just because I yell "you suck" at the players! 208 00:09:35,212 --> 00:09:39,171 According to the complaint, you yelled it at five-year-old girls. 209 00:09:39,249 --> 00:09:42,776 Who suck! Why is that so hard to understand? 210 00:09:43,487 --> 00:09:46,047 I thought I was having this meeting with Ron Swanson. 211 00:09:46,123 --> 00:09:49,149 I'm afraid that Ron Swanson's currently dead. 212 00:09:49,493 --> 00:09:52,189 Oh. I'm his daughter, April Swanson. 213 00:09:52,729 --> 00:09:57,030 And it's his last wish that I have this meeting with you. 214 00:09:57,268 --> 00:09:59,630 I represent the Ultimate Frisbee league. 215 00:09:59,671 --> 00:10:01,275 - And... - Pawnee has an Ultimate league? 216 00:10:01,306 --> 00:10:03,461 Yes, and we keep running into conflicts with... 217 00:10:03,486 --> 00:10:06,560 You won me over. I will join your team. 218 00:10:06,611 --> 00:10:08,579 I'm sorry, what we need... 219 00:10:08,616 --> 00:10:09,640 When does practice start? 220 00:10:09,662 --> 00:10:10,924 And do you provide the jerseys? 221 00:10:10,940 --> 00:10:12,593 What color are the jerseys, by the way? 222 00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:15,487 What's our team name? Are we the Lightning? 223 00:10:16,254 --> 00:10:18,279 Now, I have to tell you, I don't actually work 224 00:10:18,356 --> 00:10:20,586 in the Parks Department. I'm a nurse. 225 00:10:20,658 --> 00:10:23,218 Seriously? That's great news. 226 00:10:23,294 --> 00:10:26,093 I have the weirdest thing on my arm. 227 00:10:26,915 --> 00:10:28,576 Can you see this? 228 00:10:29,235 --> 00:10:30,463 Every time. 229 00:10:31,036 --> 00:10:34,250 Oh, thank God you haven't torn down the gazebo yet. 230 00:10:34,340 --> 00:10:35,364 Don't remind me. 231 00:10:35,441 --> 00:10:37,932 The demolition people couldn't get here until this afternoon. 232 00:10:38,110 --> 00:10:40,806 I've had to look at that ugly thing all day long. 233 00:10:40,879 --> 00:10:42,244 Ugly thing? 234 00:10:42,915 --> 00:10:45,577 Let me tell you a little something about this "ugly thing," ma'am. 235 00:10:45,651 --> 00:10:46,982 A hundred and fifty years ago, 236 00:10:47,052 --> 00:10:48,917 an interracial couple was married here, 237 00:10:48,988 --> 00:10:51,115 and then slaughtered by their own families. 238 00:10:51,190 --> 00:10:53,624 It's one of the most beautiful stories in Pawnee's history. 239 00:10:53,692 --> 00:10:55,091 Why are you trying to destroy it? 240 00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:57,186 Don't tell me about Pawnee history. 241 00:10:57,264 --> 00:10:59,255 The Newports made this town. 242 00:10:59,332 --> 00:11:03,132 And tonight, we're gonna celebrate my husband's 85th birthday, 243 00:11:03,203 --> 00:11:05,865 without this mushy old pile of rot. 244 00:11:05,939 --> 00:11:07,907 Your husband's a mushy old pile of rot. 245 00:11:07,974 --> 00:11:10,966 You were a stick-in-the-mud when we judged that beauty pageant, 246 00:11:11,044 --> 00:11:13,069 and you're being a stick-in-the-mud now. 247 00:11:13,146 --> 00:11:15,239 I am not a stick-in-the-mud! 248 00:11:16,783 --> 00:11:19,149 I just want to stop a party from happening. 249 00:11:19,886 --> 00:11:21,547 Ron? I have a gazebo update, 250 00:11:21,621 --> 00:11:23,987 so ignore all my previous voicemails and e-mails. 251 00:11:24,057 --> 00:11:26,525 Leslie, I haven't relieved myself in five hours, 252 00:11:26,593 --> 00:11:28,618 so, if you'll excuse me. 253 00:11:28,645 --> 00:11:31,337 Ron, I'm sorry, but this can't wait. Jessica Wicks refuses to... 254 00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:32,957 Leslie, what the? 255 00:11:33,034 --> 00:11:34,499 Hey! Miss Knope? 256 00:11:34,593 --> 00:11:35,562 Councilman Howser! 257 00:11:35,590 --> 00:11:36,507 Nice to see you again. 258 00:11:36,544 --> 00:11:38,505 Not that I saw anything, other than your face, 259 00:11:38,536 --> 00:11:41,027 and I would like to talk to you a little bit about this gazebo thing. 260 00:11:41,050 --> 00:11:42,312 You know, the problem... Okay, okay. 261 00:11:42,341 --> 00:11:44,167 Enough of this. 262 00:11:44,345 --> 00:11:47,644 Do whatever you want. Alert the media. Call FEMA: I don't care. 263 00:11:47,715 --> 00:11:50,115 Do not bother me with this again. 264 00:11:54,544 --> 00:11:57,741 - Miss Knope. - Councilman Howser. I saw your penis. 265 00:11:58,482 --> 00:12:00,781 There are eight swings at Ramsett Park 266 00:12:00,808 --> 00:12:03,073 and every single one of them is broken. 267 00:12:03,187 --> 00:12:05,781 Can you please just fix one of them? 268 00:12:05,857 --> 00:12:08,223 Ron told me I can't say yes to anything. 269 00:12:08,359 --> 00:12:10,859 But it's such a reasonable request. 270 00:12:12,130 --> 00:12:13,705 I can't just say no. 271 00:12:15,166 --> 00:12:16,793 So, that's a yes? 272 00:12:19,303 --> 00:12:22,500 Are you saying yes? Just say out loud, yes or no. 273 00:12:24,979 --> 00:12:26,105 Boop! 274 00:12:28,045 --> 00:12:33,080 Yeah, they do look a little bit swollen. Just follow the pen. 275 00:12:33,519 --> 00:12:35,282 Follow the pen to... 276 00:12:36,822 --> 00:12:38,334 Does that hurt? 277 00:12:40,248 --> 00:12:42,805 There's no way this ordinance goes through. There's too much red tape. 278 00:12:42,823 --> 00:12:44,405 Mmm. This gridlock drives me nuts. 279 00:12:44,433 --> 00:12:45,336 Tell me about it. 280 00:12:45,364 --> 00:12:47,730 Yeah. I think you're gonna have to make an end run. You know? 281 00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:49,131 Go right to the Commissioner on this one. 282 00:12:49,201 --> 00:12:51,635 You know what, I hadn't thought of that. That is a really great idea. 283 00:12:51,703 --> 00:12:52,931 - Yeah? - I'm gonna do that. 284 00:12:53,005 --> 00:12:56,647 Okay. Your last resort is probably gonna be City Council. 285 00:12:56,675 --> 00:12:58,040 Good luck there! 286 00:12:58,110 --> 00:12:59,993 Yeah! My thoughts exactly. 287 00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:02,060 I have no idea what I was saying. 288 00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:05,581 I ask you. Is this too revealing for a public pool? 289 00:13:05,718 --> 00:13:08,278 Kindly get your groin off my desk. 290 00:13:08,354 --> 00:13:11,084 So my body makes you uncomfortable, too? 291 00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:14,621 Hey, Mark. I'm kind of freaking out 292 00:13:14,694 --> 00:13:16,321 about this historical mansion thing. 293 00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:17,488 Can I talk to you for a second? 294 00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:19,691 I'm actually headed right out the door. 295 00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:21,324 You're going on a date with Ann. 296 00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:22,698 Yeah. I was gonna surprise her, 297 00:13:22,769 --> 00:13:24,396 take her to a nice restaurant. Don't worry about it. 298 00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,803 - Are you sure now? - Yeah, have a good time. 299 00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:29,339 - How we doing? - Pretty good. 300 00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:33,402 I may have promised a new aquatic center to somebody. 301 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:34,777 Is that a problem? 302 00:13:34,848 --> 00:13:37,841 I diagnosed two melanomas. They're both benign. 303 00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:39,112 How many more meetings? 304 00:13:39,186 --> 00:13:40,175 Twenty. 305 00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:43,179 April was supposed to be the moat 306 00:13:43,257 --> 00:13:46,920 that kept the citizen barbarians away from Swanson Castle. 307 00:13:47,428 --> 00:13:51,057 Instead she blew up the castle and stabbed me in the face. 308 00:13:51,765 --> 00:13:54,131 I hired you to do one thing. 309 00:13:55,169 --> 00:13:56,466 Just one. 310 00:13:56,737 --> 00:13:59,729 I don't care that you text all day and sleep at your desk. 311 00:13:59,807 --> 00:14:01,297 In fact, I encourage it. 312 00:14:01,375 --> 00:14:04,469 But only because you were doing that one thing. 313 00:14:04,912 --> 00:14:07,437 Keeping this crap off my desk. 314 00:14:08,850 --> 00:14:11,148 Give me five minutes before the next one. 315 00:14:17,225 --> 00:14:18,954 That guy is scary when he's angry. 316 00:14:19,027 --> 00:14:20,722 Yeah! God, I know. 317 00:14:21,062 --> 00:14:22,859 Hey. Sorry, dude. 318 00:14:23,398 --> 00:14:26,492 I don't need your sympathy. Or yours. 319 00:14:27,035 --> 00:14:29,265 I wasn't offering my sympathy. 320 00:14:30,505 --> 00:14:31,665 Thank you for meeting me here. 321 00:14:31,740 --> 00:14:33,002 Sure. 322 00:14:33,241 --> 00:14:35,300 What's up? Okay. I need you to get this word for word. 323 00:14:35,377 --> 00:14:37,811 It's a tape recorder. So it will. 324 00:14:38,613 --> 00:14:40,775 "Gazebo?" More like "Ga-zoinks-bo." 325 00:14:40,850 --> 00:14:42,317 She may be a former beauty queen, 326 00:14:42,385 --> 00:14:44,853 but today she's the king of destroying history! 327 00:14:44,921 --> 00:14:46,786 Okay, could you just maybe talk normally? 328 00:14:46,856 --> 00:14:48,756 Okay, fine. "Ga-zoinks-bo." 329 00:14:48,925 --> 00:14:50,517 Jessica Wicks is throwing a birthday party 330 00:14:50,593 --> 00:14:52,356 for her husband Nick Newport Sr. 331 00:14:52,428 --> 00:14:53,986 At the Turnbill Mansion tonight... 332 00:14:54,063 --> 00:14:55,963 Okay. I'm gonna stop you right there. 333 00:14:56,032 --> 00:14:58,933 Nick Newport Sr. Is the former CEO of Sweetums. 334 00:14:59,001 --> 00:14:59,990 So? 335 00:15:00,069 --> 00:15:01,627 Sweetums owns The Pawnee Journal. 336 00:15:01,704 --> 00:15:03,672 Crap on the cob! 337 00:15:03,940 --> 00:15:06,408 I will take it into consideration. 338 00:15:07,243 --> 00:15:10,269 Thank God! That was it, right? 339 00:15:10,513 --> 00:15:11,571 No. There's one more. 340 00:15:11,647 --> 00:15:12,637 Damn it to hell! 341 00:15:12,716 --> 00:15:16,413 It's with me and it's right now and it's about me quitting. 342 00:15:16,753 --> 00:15:17,981 I quit. 343 00:15:20,791 --> 00:15:22,122 I have no other choice, okay? 344 00:15:22,192 --> 00:15:25,423 This is the only rational way I know to prevent this tragedy. 345 00:15:26,663 --> 00:15:28,927 Oh, my God! Here they come. Tom, throw away the key! 346 00:15:28,999 --> 00:15:31,058 - Seriously? - Yes! Throw it! 347 00:15:32,035 --> 00:15:33,332 Out of the way! 348 00:15:33,403 --> 00:15:35,337 Sir, I'm sorry, but you're a little late. 349 00:15:35,405 --> 00:15:37,032 So, you're gonna have to turn this thing around, 350 00:15:37,107 --> 00:15:39,007 'cause you're not getting in here. 351 00:15:40,243 --> 00:15:43,542 Oh, God! Tom! Stop him! Jump in front of it! 352 00:15:43,614 --> 00:15:45,640 Sacrifice your tiny body! 353 00:15:50,722 --> 00:15:52,849 I really thought that gate would open in the middle. 354 00:15:58,069 --> 00:15:59,832 Well, the gazebo has been destroyed. 355 00:15:59,904 --> 00:16:03,194 And the thing that bothers me the most... 356 00:16:03,441 --> 00:16:04,567 Cut it out, Tom. 357 00:16:04,642 --> 00:16:05,882 It never gets old. 358 00:16:08,045 --> 00:16:11,071 Hey, Ann and Mark are coming. Guys, not so close. 359 00:16:11,149 --> 00:16:14,676 You're gonna... You're gonna... Don't go past the sensor. 360 00:16:15,887 --> 00:16:17,287 Sensor? 361 00:16:17,356 --> 00:16:18,755 Sorry if I ruined your evening. 362 00:16:18,824 --> 00:16:20,052 Leslie, it's totally fine. 363 00:16:20,125 --> 00:16:21,319 I chained myself to a gate. 364 00:16:21,393 --> 00:16:22,985 - I can see that. - Are you okay? 365 00:16:23,061 --> 00:16:25,325 Nothing's bruised but my ego. 366 00:16:25,397 --> 00:16:27,763 And my arm, a little, from the mechanized gate. 367 00:16:28,433 --> 00:16:30,264 Thanks again for letting me take those meetings today. 368 00:16:30,769 --> 00:16:34,102 I've never really had a meeting before. They're awesome. 369 00:16:34,173 --> 00:16:35,162 You're welcome. 370 00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:36,315 Hey, have you seen April around? 371 00:16:36,341 --> 00:16:37,831 She usually comes by at the end of the day. 372 00:16:37,910 --> 00:16:41,107 You might want to check her house. She quit on me. 373 00:16:41,380 --> 00:16:42,608 What? Why? 374 00:16:42,848 --> 00:16:45,078 She screwed up my entire life today. 375 00:16:45,384 --> 00:16:48,320 That was one mistake. She's perfect for you. 376 00:16:48,855 --> 00:16:49,913 Come on, there's no one in the world 377 00:16:49,989 --> 00:16:52,116 who's gonna do a better job for you than April. 378 00:16:53,326 --> 00:16:55,351 Either you hire her back or I quit. 379 00:16:55,428 --> 00:16:56,861 You don't work for me. 380 00:16:56,930 --> 00:16:59,694 And I never will, sir. Good day. 381 00:17:05,905 --> 00:17:08,135 So what'd you guys talk about at dinner? Huh? Was it fun? 382 00:17:08,208 --> 00:17:10,369 Any big decisions arrived at? 383 00:17:10,443 --> 00:17:11,705 It was fine. 384 00:17:11,778 --> 00:17:12,972 Do you need a ride home? 385 00:17:13,046 --> 00:17:15,537 No, Tom's gonna take me. You guys go on ahead. 386 00:17:15,615 --> 00:17:17,310 I'm glad you're okay. Call me tomorrow? 387 00:17:17,383 --> 00:17:19,044 Bye, Leslie. 388 00:17:23,524 --> 00:17:26,755 Well, hello there. You must be Ron Swanson. 389 00:17:26,827 --> 00:17:28,522 Well, welcome to Casa Ludgate! 390 00:17:28,662 --> 00:17:30,357 Hello, Mr. Ludgate. 391 00:17:30,664 --> 00:17:32,689 Call me Larry. Larry, who is it? 392 00:17:32,766 --> 00:17:34,290 It's Zuzu's boss. 393 00:17:34,368 --> 00:17:36,666 Oh, Ron. Rita Ludgate. 394 00:17:37,037 --> 00:17:39,972 Oh, you have no idea how nice it is to meet you. 395 00:17:41,041 --> 00:17:42,941 Come in, for gosh sake. 396 00:17:43,077 --> 00:17:45,011 What can I get you to drink? Ooh. 397 00:17:45,079 --> 00:17:48,640 Could you take your shoes off, please? Thank you so much. 398 00:17:49,883 --> 00:17:51,180 Nothing to drink, thanks. 399 00:17:51,252 --> 00:17:52,345 Oh, okay. 400 00:17:52,420 --> 00:17:53,682 Is April around? 401 00:17:53,755 --> 00:17:55,689 Zuzu, you have a guest. 402 00:17:56,358 --> 00:17:59,759 I'll fetch her. She's probably on the Internet again! 403 00:18:00,562 --> 00:18:02,496 - I'll come with you. - Okay. Okay. 404 00:18:02,564 --> 00:18:04,327 You make yourself at home, Mr. Swanson. 405 00:18:04,399 --> 00:18:05,991 Thank you. 406 00:18:09,704 --> 00:18:11,797 You must be April's sister. 407 00:18:12,507 --> 00:18:13,769 I'm Ron. 408 00:18:18,847 --> 00:18:20,474 Nice to meet you. 409 00:18:21,182 --> 00:18:23,742 No offense, but I think the normal grieving time 410 00:18:23,819 --> 00:18:26,253 for gazebo destruction has passed. 411 00:18:27,123 --> 00:18:30,752 Yeah, well, maybe that's not entirely what I'm upset about. 412 00:18:32,762 --> 00:18:34,286 Mark and Ann are gonna get married. 413 00:18:34,764 --> 00:18:36,163 Really? 414 00:18:36,699 --> 00:18:39,862 Why does that bother you? I should be the one that's upset. 415 00:18:39,935 --> 00:18:41,664 It was supposed to be me and Ann. 416 00:18:41,737 --> 00:18:43,136 Or me and Jessica. 417 00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:45,765 Or Ann and Jessica with me watching. 418 00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:50,570 Every time a couple gets married, two single people die. 419 00:18:51,514 --> 00:18:53,414 I'm about to lose two good friends. 420 00:18:53,482 --> 00:18:54,915 Come on. 421 00:18:55,117 --> 00:18:58,315 They drove over here and cut you down from a gate. 422 00:18:58,555 --> 00:19:00,546 I really don't think you have to worry about them 423 00:19:00,624 --> 00:19:02,251 abandoning you once they get married. 424 00:19:02,326 --> 00:19:03,623 Yeah, yeah, I know that. 425 00:19:03,694 --> 00:19:05,093 In my brain. 426 00:19:05,162 --> 00:19:06,220 Can we go? 427 00:19:06,463 --> 00:19:08,624 Yeah. Let's go. I just need to... 428 00:19:08,699 --> 00:19:10,257 - Come on. No! - ... do one more thing. 429 00:19:10,334 --> 00:19:11,665 No, no, no! 430 00:19:12,235 --> 00:19:19,073 Loving smiles and smiling tears 431 00:19:19,843 --> 00:19:24,109 The midnight of my heart is you 432 00:19:24,448 --> 00:19:27,474 Okay, I'm sorry, everyone. Excuse me. 433 00:19:28,052 --> 00:19:30,145 Excuse me, but I need to say something. 434 00:19:30,221 --> 00:19:31,381 Is that Gate Lady? 435 00:19:31,456 --> 00:19:33,185 I know you're probably thinking, 436 00:19:33,257 --> 00:19:35,725 "There's that crazy gate lady from outside back again." 437 00:19:35,793 --> 00:19:38,489 And to some extent, you're right. I am the gate lady. 438 00:19:38,563 --> 00:19:41,532 But the only thing I'm crazy about is leaving the past behind. 439 00:19:41,599 --> 00:19:45,000 So, I would like to apologize and raise a glass 440 00:19:46,104 --> 00:19:50,837 to change and forgiveness and the future and Ann and Mark, 441 00:19:50,908 --> 00:19:53,604 and happiness and Nick Newport Sr. 442 00:19:54,145 --> 00:19:57,342 May all your future gazebos live long and prosper. 443 00:19:57,648 --> 00:19:59,115 Please leave! 444 00:19:59,718 --> 00:20:02,118 Is it weird if I ask to take a piece of cake with me? 445 00:20:02,187 --> 00:20:03,654 - I won't. - Go. 446 00:20:05,524 --> 00:20:06,650 Why are you here? 447 00:20:07,826 --> 00:20:09,157 Come back to work. 448 00:20:09,962 --> 00:20:10,986 No. 449 00:20:11,430 --> 00:20:12,624 Come back. 450 00:20:13,899 --> 00:20:15,389 I want you to come back. 451 00:20:15,467 --> 00:20:17,230 Well, I don't want to come back. 452 00:20:17,636 --> 00:20:18,933 The end. 453 00:20:19,004 --> 00:20:20,904 I was talking to Andy about you, 454 00:20:21,473 --> 00:20:24,772 and he made me realize that I need you back at work. 455 00:20:24,843 --> 00:20:25,901 What did he say? 456 00:20:25,978 --> 00:20:27,002 Don't recall. 457 00:20:27,079 --> 00:20:28,410 Fine, I'll come back. 458 00:20:28,714 --> 00:20:30,079 Good. 459 00:20:30,916 --> 00:20:32,282 Okay, I'm leaving. 460 00:20:34,053 --> 00:20:35,543 Bye, Zuzu. 461 00:20:35,922 --> 00:20:38,083 Bye, Duke Silvers. 462 00:20:42,195 --> 00:20:46,154 My mom has all your albums. I recognized you the day we met. 463 00:20:46,833 --> 00:20:48,357 Have you told anyone? 464 00:20:48,435 --> 00:20:49,424 No. 465 00:20:50,236 --> 00:20:51,567 Good girl. 466 00:20:55,798 --> 00:20:57,163 Well, excuse me. 467 00:20:57,233 --> 00:20:59,129 I had a meeting with Ron Swanson yesterday, 468 00:20:59,168 --> 00:21:00,567 but had a little car trouble. 469 00:21:00,636 --> 00:21:02,730 Sorry, he's busy right now. 470 00:21:03,407 --> 00:21:04,965 Well, can I reschedule? 471 00:21:05,042 --> 00:21:06,407 Sure. Hmm. 472 00:21:06,477 --> 00:21:09,120 How about June 50th? 473 00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:11,611 - Sorry? - Do you think you could come back today 474 00:21:11,631 --> 00:21:14,036 at 2:65? He's available then. 475 00:21:14,351 --> 00:21:15,648 What is going on? 476 00:21:15,675 --> 00:21:18,544 Looks like the only other day he has open is Marchtember One-Teenth. 477 00:21:18,573 --> 00:21:20,336 Does that work, sir?