1 00:00:09,378 --> 00:00:10,436 Ron! 2 00:00:10,713 --> 00:00:12,078 Hello, Andy. 3 00:00:12,147 --> 00:00:14,047 It's quiet in here. Where is everyone? 4 00:00:14,149 --> 00:00:17,065 The government is shut down. It's in every newspaper. 5 00:00:17,186 --> 00:00:18,946 - How long is it going to last? - Well, if we're lucky, 6 00:00:18,977 --> 00:00:21,054 this building will be empty for months. 7 00:00:21,457 --> 00:00:23,774 Wow. That is really bad timing. 8 00:00:23,892 --> 00:00:27,679 I just got this super sweet-ass rad crotch rocket. 9 00:00:27,763 --> 00:00:29,321 I've always wanted one of these. 10 00:00:29,398 --> 00:00:32,233 But due to, you know, never having a job, 11 00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:34,523 I couldn't afford it until now. 12 00:00:35,246 --> 00:00:37,441 Got a really good deal on my lease. 13 00:00:37,536 --> 00:00:39,470 Paying 12% interest. 14 00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:42,369 It's, like, one of the highest you can get. 15 00:00:42,777 --> 00:00:44,642 Hey, so I've been trying like crazy to get a hold of April. 16 00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:46,873 If you see her, will you tell her I really need to talk to her? 17 00:00:46,948 --> 00:00:49,439 - You got it. - All right. Thanks, Ron. 18 00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:51,377 Uh-oh! 19 00:00:54,122 --> 00:00:55,316 Nailed it. 20 00:01:15,977 --> 00:01:17,308 All I can tell you 21 00:01:17,378 --> 00:01:20,938 is that all the parks are closed until further notice. 22 00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:25,012 Look, no one is more upset about this than I am. 23 00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:27,246 Not like it's a competition or anything. 24 00:01:27,320 --> 00:01:29,515 Because if it was, I would win. But that's neither here nor there. 25 00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:31,888 - The point is I would win. - How long will they be closed? 26 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:33,975 - Could be forever. - With the government shut down, 27 00:01:34,017 --> 00:01:36,031 who is going to stop Al-Qaeda? 28 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:37,324 One thing at a time. 29 00:01:37,397 --> 00:01:39,661 School is out in two weeks. 30 00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:41,783 What am I going to do with my kids all day? 31 00:01:41,820 --> 00:01:44,482 Keep them in my house? Where I live? 32 00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:45,664 I don't know what to tell you. 33 00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:48,902 What about the kids' concert tomorrow at Ramsett Park? 34 00:01:48,975 --> 00:01:51,205 The Freddy Spaghetti concert. 35 00:01:51,511 --> 00:01:53,206 Freddy Spaghetti has been canceled. 36 00:01:56,387 --> 00:01:58,168 I hope you're happy. 37 00:01:58,312 --> 00:02:00,918 I am. I am extremely happy 38 00:02:00,943 --> 00:02:03,524 because I don't think we should be wasting taxpayer money 39 00:02:03,561 --> 00:02:06,370 It's not a waste to provide fun for kids 40 00:02:06,601 --> 00:02:09,695 And I for one don't like having Freddy Spaghetti's blood on my hand- 41 00:02:09,832 --> 00:02:12,651 I believe you mean Freddy Spaghetti's sauce. 42 00:02:12,695 --> 00:02:13,857 Ugh. 43 00:02:14,963 --> 00:02:17,688 Mm. Burned my tongue. 44 00:02:18,657 --> 00:02:20,657 Don't even care. 45 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:24,387 You see this color? I don't like it. 46 00:02:24,636 --> 00:02:25,949 It's too depressing. 47 00:02:26,180 --> 00:02:28,326 - Hi Chris. - Leslie Knope. 48 00:02:28,563 --> 00:02:30,888 One second. I'd like some water. 49 00:02:30,976 --> 00:02:36,088 I'd like it to be cold, I like without ice, I like it in a glass or mug with no handle. 50 00:02:36,119 --> 00:02:37,344 Thanks you. 51 00:02:37,373 --> 00:02:40,674 - How can I help you? - Well, I believe there has been a casualty 52 00:02:40,699 --> 00:02:43,711 of war in this government shutdown. And it saddens me. 53 00:02:43,729 --> 00:02:45,662 And it is Pawnee's children. 54 00:02:45,693 --> 00:02:48,313 Well, sit down and tell me exactly what has happened. 55 00:02:48,415 --> 00:02:50,132 Every year, we kick off the summer 56 00:02:50,164 --> 00:02:51,722 with a children's concert series. 57 00:02:51,752 --> 00:02:54,845 And this year, the concert has been canceled due to the shutdown. 58 00:02:54,920 --> 00:02:57,181 It's terrible, and we need to fix it. 59 00:02:57,289 --> 00:02:59,389 All right. Great. 60 00:03:01,088 --> 00:03:02,421 I'm very glad that you agreed with me, 61 00:03:02,446 --> 00:03:03,974 but I actually worked really hard on my argument. 62 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:05,861 Is there any way I can still kind of... Yeah? 63 00:03:05,895 --> 00:03:07,983 - I'd love to hear it. - Oh, good. Thank you. 64 00:03:08,067 --> 00:03:12,163 You're wrong. Are you crazy? Can you put a price tag on a child's smile? 65 00:03:12,304 --> 00:03:14,829 Leslie Knope. What a surprise. 66 00:03:14,907 --> 00:03:16,898 The government has been shut for two days, 67 00:03:16,976 --> 00:03:21,856 and one city employee has tried to schedule 14 meetings with me. 68 00:03:22,782 --> 00:03:23,908 Can you guess who? 69 00:03:23,983 --> 00:03:27,419 Ben? There was a big concert. Now, there's not. 70 00:03:27,486 --> 00:03:29,477 Isn't there anything that we can do about that? 71 00:03:29,588 --> 00:03:31,783 No, there isn't. That's too bad. 72 00:03:31,857 --> 00:03:33,757 Sorry, Leslie. Damn! 73 00:03:33,826 --> 00:03:35,726 I have to go run 10 miles. 74 00:03:35,795 --> 00:03:38,729 I have run 10 miles a day every day for 18 years. 75 00:03:38,930 --> 00:03:40,488 That's 65,000 miles. 76 00:03:40,565 --> 00:03:42,192 A third of the way to the moon. 77 00:03:42,267 --> 00:03:44,394 My goal is to run to the moon. 78 00:03:46,971 --> 00:03:48,495 Ben, let's talk solutions. 79 00:03:48,573 --> 00:03:50,404 Leslie, Pawnee is broke. 80 00:03:50,475 --> 00:03:52,670 There's no money for a concert. Okay? 81 00:03:52,744 --> 00:03:55,577 I mean, Idaho cut their Parks Department by 80%, 82 00:03:55,647 --> 00:03:58,582 and Idaho is basically one giant park. 83 00:03:58,750 --> 00:04:00,445 I've said it before, and I'll say it again, Ben. 84 00:04:00,518 --> 00:04:01,644 Pawnee is better than Idaho. 85 00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:04,018 No, Pawnee is not special. Okay? 86 00:04:04,089 --> 00:04:09,356 Your department, all the way down here, is not a priority. 87 00:04:09,527 --> 00:04:11,927 And frankly, you're not even supposed to be in the building, Leslie. 88 00:04:11,996 --> 00:04:13,293 You're non-essential. 89 00:04:13,364 --> 00:04:14,524 That is not your call. 90 00:04:14,599 --> 00:04:15,793 I know, it's on your badge. 91 00:04:16,167 --> 00:04:18,692 This? This isn't me. 92 00:04:22,607 --> 00:04:24,198 Ann Perkins. 93 00:04:24,274 --> 00:04:25,935 Chris something. 94 00:04:26,043 --> 00:04:28,568 Hi. I was just doing my daily lunchtime 10 miles 95 00:04:28,679 --> 00:04:31,580 and I ran by the hospital, and I thought I'd pop up and say hi. 96 00:04:31,648 --> 00:04:33,047 Did you just start your run? 97 00:04:33,117 --> 00:04:34,311 No, I'm already at mile nine. 98 00:04:34,384 --> 00:04:35,942 But you're not sweating at all. 99 00:04:36,019 --> 00:04:38,886 I know. I have a resting heart rate of 28 beats per minute. 100 00:04:38,956 --> 00:04:39,980 The scientist who studied me 101 00:04:40,057 --> 00:04:43,356 said that my heart could pump jet fuel up into an airplane. 102 00:04:43,427 --> 00:04:45,088 I'd love to go out on a date with you. 103 00:04:45,162 --> 00:04:46,561 I think you might find me attractive 104 00:04:46,630 --> 00:04:48,825 because you got drunk and kissed me when we first met. 105 00:04:48,899 --> 00:04:50,560 And no pressure, but I do have tonight open. 106 00:04:50,634 --> 00:04:53,194 - I am so sorry. I'm really busy right now. - No problem. 107 00:04:53,270 --> 00:04:55,761 I will try again soon. Ann Perkins. 108 00:04:57,307 --> 00:04:59,571 That's the guy who likes you, that you're not into. 109 00:04:59,643 --> 00:05:00,803 Yeah. 110 00:05:01,111 --> 00:05:03,443 And which part of him are you not looking at? 111 00:05:03,514 --> 00:05:06,210 Traditionally, when I end a long-term relationship, 112 00:05:06,283 --> 00:05:10,480 I'm a little fragile, and I have a tendency to do some reckless things. 113 00:05:10,553 --> 00:05:13,113 So I need to stay away from Chris. 114 00:05:13,790 --> 00:05:15,382 I can't stand this government shutdown. 115 00:05:15,458 --> 00:05:16,686 I can't stand this budget crisis. 116 00:05:16,759 --> 00:05:20,058 But what I can't stand is they're canceling Freddy Spaghetti. 117 00:05:20,129 --> 00:05:21,892 You know everything. What should I do about this? 118 00:05:21,964 --> 00:05:24,524 I don't know, Leslie. Why don't you see a movie or go shopping? 119 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:26,431 Wait a minute. What are you doing? What's happening? 120 00:05:28,271 --> 00:05:31,035 You know, they offered me a buyout, and I took it. 121 00:05:31,107 --> 00:05:33,507 And so now, I work for Norton Construction. 122 00:05:37,180 --> 00:05:38,579 Sorry. I know I shouldn't have done that. 123 00:05:38,648 --> 00:05:41,014 - It's okay. - How could you quit? 124 00:05:41,551 --> 00:05:44,884 You know, not everyone has your enthusiasm for this work. 125 00:05:44,954 --> 00:05:49,323 You know, I guess I've been mispronouncing your name all these years. 126 00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:51,383 Mark Brendana-quitz. 127 00:05:51,460 --> 00:05:54,861 Recently, I had been thinking about maybe leaving this job. 128 00:05:54,964 --> 00:05:57,022 But I felt like I needed a sign. 129 00:05:57,132 --> 00:06:00,966 And then Ann broke up with me the week that I was going to propose, 130 00:06:01,036 --> 00:06:02,333 the government got shut down, 131 00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:07,047 and yesterday one of those pigeons took a on me. 132 00:06:07,275 --> 00:06:09,641 And I was indoors. So... 133 00:06:12,694 --> 00:06:13,718 What are you doing here? 134 00:06:13,745 --> 00:06:15,975 Hey, sorry. I need your help. Is this a bad time? 135 00:06:16,059 --> 00:06:18,459 Lucy is here. I'm in my sexy pajamas. 136 00:06:18,514 --> 00:06:21,347 I just took four Benadryls to dull my sensitivity. 137 00:06:21,417 --> 00:06:22,941 Yes, it is a bad time. 138 00:06:23,019 --> 00:06:24,008 You're about to have sex. 139 00:06:24,087 --> 00:06:26,817 Why else would Boyz II Men's On Bended Knee be playing right now? 140 00:06:26,890 --> 00:06:28,755 Okay. I just want to give you a little advice, 141 00:06:28,825 --> 00:06:30,793 which is don't make it last really long. 142 00:06:30,860 --> 00:06:31,918 Ladies don't like that. 143 00:06:31,995 --> 00:06:33,121 - Okay. Great. - Okay? 144 00:06:33,189 --> 00:06:35,180 Wait. Just one more thing. 145 00:06:35,265 --> 00:06:37,233 Are you using protection? 146 00:06:38,534 --> 00:06:41,991 You know what? I'm just going to stay away from all guys right now. 147 00:06:42,104 --> 00:06:44,937 Yeah. Less man-time, more Ann-time. 148 00:06:45,007 --> 00:06:46,031 - Yeah. - Yeah. 149 00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:49,275 Everyone needs a friend they can call and wake up in the middle of the night. 150 00:06:49,399 --> 00:06:51,405 Leslie is usually already up. 151 00:06:51,598 --> 00:06:54,575 And often she's already on her way over. 152 00:06:54,816 --> 00:06:56,784 The only guy that I care about right now 153 00:06:56,852 --> 00:06:58,752 is six feet tall with wild, crazy hair 154 00:06:58,821 --> 00:07:01,756 and a ukulele that doubles as a water gun. 155 00:07:02,391 --> 00:07:03,881 Freddy Spaghetti. 156 00:07:03,959 --> 00:07:06,052 Children's concerts aren't a priority these days. 157 00:07:06,128 --> 00:07:07,618 You know what is? Sewage. 158 00:07:07,696 --> 00:07:10,893 Pawnee's kids are less important than poop tubes. 159 00:07:12,034 --> 00:07:13,729 I don't know. I mean, what are you going to do? 160 00:07:13,802 --> 00:07:16,032 That's the way it is. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 161 00:07:16,105 --> 00:07:17,595 If all the parks are closed, 162 00:07:17,673 --> 00:07:21,302 why not just have the concert in the lot behind my house? 163 00:07:22,344 --> 00:07:23,936 Ann, you devious bastard. 164 00:07:25,381 --> 00:07:28,680 Well, the cow goes "moo" and the pig goes "oink" 165 00:07:28,751 --> 00:07:31,015 Well, I've spent the last three hours coming up with a plan. 166 00:07:31,086 --> 00:07:32,485 And I sent up the Bat-Signal 167 00:07:32,554 --> 00:07:34,988 for all the people in the Parks Department to come and join us. 168 00:07:35,057 --> 00:07:37,354 I told them to be here by 8:00. 169 00:07:37,825 --> 00:07:39,190 Do you think anybody is going to show up? 170 00:07:39,260 --> 00:07:41,592 A, yes. B, even if they don't, 171 00:07:41,663 --> 00:07:43,130 we'll just put the concert on ourselves. 172 00:07:43,197 --> 00:07:45,859 But C, yes. Yes, they're definitely going to show up. 173 00:07:45,933 --> 00:07:47,958 Although, D, maybe not. 174 00:07:48,036 --> 00:07:49,469 I think that you need to prepare 175 00:07:49,537 --> 00:07:50,902 for the eventuality that no one... 176 00:07:51,072 --> 00:07:52,835 Hello? Hello? 177 00:07:53,508 --> 00:07:55,373 God bless you, Jerry Gergich! 178 00:07:55,443 --> 00:07:58,037 Wow. I never thought I'd hear those words from you. 179 00:07:58,112 --> 00:07:59,943 Hey. April is here. Move, Jerry. 180 00:08:00,081 --> 00:08:03,244 April. I didn't think you were going to help. 181 00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:05,046 I still might not. 182 00:08:06,354 --> 00:08:08,754 Jerry, how do you feel about lifting heavy things? 183 00:08:08,823 --> 00:08:10,154 My doctor just said I should avoid... 184 00:08:10,224 --> 00:08:11,521 Being a wuss? Yes, I agree. 185 00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:13,890 So, go out there and get the equipment out of the truck. 186 00:08:15,202 --> 00:08:16,337 You're here. 187 00:08:16,368 --> 00:08:20,829 - Ann, can you make us some more pancakes? - Yes Ann, I want pancakes. 188 00:08:21,235 --> 00:08:23,235 Ookay. 189 00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:26,529 With current and projected deficits, 190 00:08:26,598 --> 00:08:29,089 we need to cut expenditures by 32%. 191 00:08:29,166 --> 00:08:30,860 Let's make it an even 40. 192 00:08:30,968 --> 00:08:32,128 That's not necessary. 193 00:08:32,202 --> 00:08:34,466 Slash it. Slash it. 194 00:08:34,490 --> 00:08:37,038 Ron. A lot of people are going to get fired. 195 00:08:37,081 --> 00:08:39,156 Do you mind trying not to gloat. 196 00:08:39,406 --> 00:08:41,700 Yes, I do, Florence. 197 00:08:41,762 --> 00:08:46,030 I do mind that. I'm very excited about this. I made pennants. 198 00:08:46,348 --> 00:08:48,748 I am an official member of a task force 199 00:08:48,817 --> 00:08:51,592 dedicated to slashing the city budget. 200 00:08:52,287 --> 00:08:54,721 Just saying that gave me a semi. 201 00:08:55,090 --> 00:08:58,116 Right off the bat, we sell City Hall. 202 00:08:58,193 --> 00:09:01,594 Let somebody turn it into a large gas station or a T.J. Maxx. 203 00:09:01,697 --> 00:09:03,528 Ron, that is a very creative idea. 204 00:09:03,599 --> 00:09:05,396 But we don't want to sell any of our major assets, 205 00:09:05,467 --> 00:09:06,627 because we don't want to lose out 206 00:09:06,702 --> 00:09:07,828 on any future revenue streams. 207 00:09:07,903 --> 00:09:11,100 I hear that. Don't worry. I have tons more ideas. 208 00:09:11,774 --> 00:09:12,798 Okay, uh... 209 00:09:14,943 --> 00:09:17,411 So sorry. New ring tone. 210 00:09:17,479 --> 00:09:19,140 Don't cut anything without me. 211 00:09:20,649 --> 00:09:21,638 Leslie? 212 00:09:21,717 --> 00:09:23,378 I don't care if you hate what we do. 213 00:09:23,452 --> 00:09:24,817 I love it enough for both of us. 214 00:09:24,887 --> 00:09:29,118 We're going to put on the Freddy Spaghetti concert today, 5:00 on Lot 48. 215 00:09:29,223 --> 00:09:30,281 You can't do that. 216 00:09:30,358 --> 00:09:33,122 Watch me. We're going to do this, Ron. With or without you. 217 00:09:34,262 --> 00:09:35,889 Hammering away. 218 00:09:39,967 --> 00:09:43,926 Crank it. Hit it. Needs 16 minutes for premium bounce. 219 00:09:44,005 --> 00:09:45,404 Oh, hey, after this, can you go pick up 220 00:09:45,473 --> 00:09:47,236 Freddy Spaghetti in your Mercedes? 221 00:09:47,282 --> 00:09:48,840 We need to give him the star treatment. 222 00:09:48,915 --> 00:09:50,453 He better be showered. 223 00:09:50,497 --> 00:09:53,528 I just detailed my car and he is notoriously funky. 224 00:09:53,633 --> 00:09:55,345 Hey. Sorry we're late. 225 00:09:55,406 --> 00:09:57,924 I had to wait on my girlfriend to finish eating breakfast. 226 00:09:58,004 --> 00:09:59,266 Hi. I'm Lucy. 227 00:09:59,339 --> 00:10:00,328 - Hi. - Hey. 228 00:10:00,406 --> 00:10:03,898 We had dinner last night and breakfast this morning. 229 00:10:04,010 --> 00:10:06,808 What were we doing in between? Sex stuff. 230 00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:08,342 You guys know Tom really well, 231 00:10:08,381 --> 00:10:10,137 so I don't have to apologize for his behavior, right? 232 00:10:10,221 --> 00:10:10,943 Right. 233 00:10:10,981 --> 00:10:12,644 Yeah we're so glas you're here. Thanks for coming. 234 00:10:12,669 --> 00:10:13,994 Thanks. It's gonna be fun. 235 00:10:14,019 --> 00:10:17,974 We're gonna put on a show today. And it's not gonna make all the problems 236 00:10:17,998 --> 00:10:20,927 in out town go away, but it's gonna make a lot of people happy. 237 00:10:21,139 --> 00:10:23,858 - Everybody ready? All right! - Yes! - Yeah! 238 00:10:23,908 --> 00:10:26,924 So, oh, I forgot. Um, I didn't get a chance to get porter potties 239 00:10:26,949 --> 00:10:29,362 so the audience are gonna have to use Ann's house for the bathrooms. 240 00:10:29,387 --> 00:10:31,387 Wait. Aren't we excpecting like 300 people? 241 00:10:31,412 --> 00:10:34,175 Hopefully. Okay back to work! 242 00:10:34,611 --> 00:10:36,697 The craziest thing is it's, like, super loud. 243 00:10:36,740 --> 00:10:38,528 You know what I mean? I was on it for only five minutes, 244 00:10:38,557 --> 00:10:40,752 and I can't really hear anything. Am I talking loud right now? 245 00:10:40,776 --> 00:10:42,036 - Yeah. - Yeah? 246 00:10:42,061 --> 00:10:43,517 And you know how to ride a motorcycle? 247 00:10:43,554 --> 00:10:45,443 Yeah. It's just like driving a half a car. 248 00:10:45,481 --> 00:10:48,010 April! Hey! Excuse me. 249 00:10:48,065 --> 00:10:50,190 I called you a gajillion times. Why didn't you call me back? 250 00:10:50,234 --> 00:10:53,342 I'm so sorry. I was too busy not wanting to talk to you. 251 00:10:53,637 --> 00:10:55,036 - Huh? - Jerry, what are you doing? 252 00:10:55,106 --> 00:10:56,767 Leslie asked me to post these around the neighborhood. 253 00:10:56,841 --> 00:10:57,865 - I'll do it. - Really? Wow. 254 00:10:57,942 --> 00:10:59,068 Yes. 255 00:10:59,176 --> 00:11:00,548 You want some help with that? 256 00:11:00,598 --> 00:11:03,443 So I heard about you and Chris. Nice. 257 00:11:03,512 --> 00:11:05,418 N-nothings gonna happen there. 258 00:11:05,443 --> 00:11:07,718 Why not? You're a free agent. Unlike me. 259 00:11:07,865 --> 00:11:12,575 Well, I make some bad decisions sometimes at the end of a long relationships. 260 00:11:12,606 --> 00:11:14,442 I think I'm just gonna cool it for a while. 261 00:11:14,484 --> 00:11:17,327 That makes sense. You don't need to jump into anything. 262 00:11:18,013 --> 00:11:20,013 Girl like you can have whatever guy she wants. 263 00:11:20,062 --> 00:11:21,959 - Shut up. - I'm serious, Ann. 264 00:11:21,997 --> 00:11:24,230 I may joke around about how nice your booty is, but 265 00:11:24,261 --> 00:11:25,770 I think you're really nice person and 266 00:11:25,795 --> 00:11:28,305 I think any guy would be lucky to have you as a girlfriend. 267 00:11:28,367 --> 00:11:29,824 Listen to you. 268 00:11:29,974 --> 00:11:32,875 I loke Tom-with-a-girlfriend. He's really sweet. 269 00:11:33,219 --> 00:11:35,767 How much do you like him? Because, I can definately talk to Lucy 270 00:11:35,792 --> 00:11:38,484 about a three way situation. - Unbelievable 271 00:11:38,790 --> 00:11:40,520 I'm kidding. 272 00:11:40,713 --> 00:11:42,815 But serious at the same time. 273 00:11:43,112 --> 00:11:45,224 Okay, let's talk about Parks and Rec. 274 00:11:45,277 --> 00:11:46,869 This one is a little complicated. 275 00:11:46,946 --> 00:11:49,141 I know what will loosen up our brains. 276 00:11:49,215 --> 00:11:50,546 Massage train. 277 00:11:50,616 --> 00:11:51,640 And I know what you're thinking. 278 00:11:51,717 --> 00:11:52,706 It's not that I want a massage. 279 00:11:52,785 --> 00:11:54,116 I'll be the caboose. 280 00:11:54,186 --> 00:11:57,155 And Ron Swanson is the locomotive. 281 00:11:57,223 --> 00:11:59,157 And thanks to Ron, the services budget 282 00:11:59,231 --> 00:12:00,926 has already been cut significantly. 283 00:12:00,993 --> 00:12:03,427 So, seems like the best option is job cuts. 284 00:12:03,495 --> 00:12:05,588 Starting with Leslie Knope. 285 00:12:06,699 --> 00:12:08,360 No, no, no, no, no. 286 00:12:08,434 --> 00:12:10,402 If you fire Leslie, you might as well 287 00:12:10,469 --> 00:12:11,527 just get rid of the department. 288 00:12:11,604 --> 00:12:13,367 Look, I know how valuable she is, believe me. 289 00:12:13,438 --> 00:12:14,996 But we've run out of options. 290 00:12:15,073 --> 00:12:17,007 There are plenty of other options. 291 00:12:17,075 --> 00:12:19,976 For example, sell the zoo animals. 292 00:12:20,411 --> 00:12:21,742 Okay. To whom? 293 00:12:21,813 --> 00:12:24,543 Cosmetics labs? Weird restaurants? 294 00:12:24,649 --> 00:12:26,014 I'm just spit-balling here. 295 00:12:26,084 --> 00:12:27,381 Okay, let's switch it up. 296 00:12:27,452 --> 00:12:29,477 Look, she makes the second-highest salary in the department. 297 00:12:29,554 --> 00:12:31,146 It will go a long way. 298 00:12:31,222 --> 00:12:33,520 I'm telling you. It's just not an option. 299 00:12:33,591 --> 00:12:34,990 Ron, focus up, buddy. 300 00:12:35,059 --> 00:12:36,219 Just give me a sec. 301 00:12:36,294 --> 00:12:37,352 Will you just stop and listen to me? 302 00:12:37,428 --> 00:12:40,659 - No. - Fine. I don't want to talk to you, anyways. 303 00:12:41,366 --> 00:12:43,197 Reverse psychiatry. 304 00:12:44,836 --> 00:12:46,167 Fine. What? 305 00:12:46,704 --> 00:12:48,035 I like you. 306 00:12:48,740 --> 00:12:50,674 In a, you know, 307 00:12:51,476 --> 00:12:53,341 romantical kind of way. 308 00:12:53,411 --> 00:12:54,810 - You do? - Yes. 309 00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:57,445 Do you 310 00:12:59,383 --> 00:13:00,748 like me? - Yes. 311 00:13:05,222 --> 00:13:09,750 So, then perhaps, shall we go out this evening? 312 00:13:13,864 --> 00:13:14,888 No. 313 00:13:16,967 --> 00:13:18,730 I don't think we should see each other. 314 00:13:19,870 --> 00:13:22,532 Damn it. Because you're 21 and I'm 29? 315 00:13:22,606 --> 00:13:25,131 No. I don't care about that. 316 00:13:25,208 --> 00:13:29,144 It's because whenever I see you talk to Ann or talk about Ann, 317 00:13:29,212 --> 00:13:30,873 I feel like you still have feelings for her. 318 00:13:30,981 --> 00:13:33,279 What? No, I don't. But I don't. 319 00:13:34,451 --> 00:13:35,611 Really, I don't. 320 00:13:35,686 --> 00:13:37,517 Well, I think you do. So... 321 00:13:38,722 --> 00:13:40,781 That's a problem for me. 322 00:13:45,661 --> 00:13:49,461 Because of my libertarian beliefs, Leslie does 95% of the work. 323 00:13:50,566 --> 00:13:52,397 So you should lay me off. 324 00:13:52,468 --> 00:13:54,800 I'd be proud to be a casualty in this righteous war. 325 00:13:54,870 --> 00:13:57,134 It's precisely because of your beliefs that we need to keep you. 326 00:13:57,239 --> 00:13:59,901 You would maintain fiscal responsibility after we're gone. 327 00:13:59,976 --> 00:14:01,136 I strenuously object. 328 00:14:01,210 --> 00:14:03,201 Okay. Well, Ron, we're moving on. 329 00:14:03,279 --> 00:14:05,110 Every department is losing a Leslie Knope. 330 00:14:05,181 --> 00:14:06,773 No, Ben, they are not. 331 00:14:06,849 --> 00:14:09,374 No other department has one to begin with. 332 00:14:09,485 --> 00:14:11,385 Right now, she's single-handedly 333 00:14:11,454 --> 00:14:14,548 putting up some lousy concert for this city's kids. 334 00:14:15,558 --> 00:14:16,582 She's doing what? 335 00:14:16,659 --> 00:14:18,786 Could someone else massage my shoulders? 336 00:14:19,328 --> 00:14:20,556 Wow. Looking good. 337 00:14:20,629 --> 00:14:23,120 Yeah. I mean, I wish we had built one of those elevators 338 00:14:23,155 --> 00:14:25,402 that comes up from under the stage, you know? 339 00:14:25,428 --> 00:14:26,967 - They're coming! - Like a rock arena kind of thing? 340 00:14:26,994 --> 00:14:28,188 They're coming! 341 00:14:28,237 --> 00:14:30,187 - What? - They're coming. 342 00:14:30,205 --> 00:14:31,695 - What's up? What? - Who? The Russians? 343 00:14:31,773 --> 00:14:33,035 No, the state auditors. 344 00:14:33,108 --> 00:14:34,575 I accidentally told them what you were doing 345 00:14:34,642 --> 00:14:37,270 in an attempt to save some government jobs. 346 00:14:37,345 --> 00:14:38,676 It's been a very strange day for me. 347 00:14:38,747 --> 00:14:40,180 Okay. Everybody, be cool. Just be cool. 348 00:14:40,216 --> 00:14:41,423 - Hey! - Hey! 349 00:14:41,483 --> 00:14:42,507 - Hey! - Hey! 350 00:14:42,551 --> 00:14:47,421 All right. Everybody! Everybody! Hey. Ann Perkins. Hi. 351 00:14:47,589 --> 00:14:48,613 - Hi. - Everyone. 352 00:14:48,690 --> 00:14:50,933 You are all super amazing. 353 00:14:51,161 --> 00:14:52,823 You are what makes Pawnee great, 354 00:14:52,861 --> 00:14:54,852 and I just want to tell you that I am 355 00:14:54,929 --> 00:14:58,023 totally supportive of your inspiring efforts here today! 356 00:14:58,099 --> 00:15:00,090 - All right. - Yeah. 357 00:15:00,143 --> 00:15:03,044 Now, my partner Ben wants to say something. 358 00:15:03,075 --> 00:15:04,481 Yeah, we're shutting this down. 359 00:15:04,539 --> 00:15:05,631 - What? - Damn! 360 00:15:05,663 --> 00:15:06,957 That's terrible news! 361 00:15:07,008 --> 00:15:08,714 Surely, there has to be a solution, Ben. 362 00:15:08,773 --> 00:15:10,818 - No. - Ben says no. I'm sorry, everyone. 363 00:15:10,843 --> 00:15:13,268 Chris and I used to slice budgets individually. 364 00:15:13,673 --> 00:15:15,433 When he would do it by himself 365 00:15:15,464 --> 00:15:20,031 nothing got done and when I did it by myself, I get death threats. 366 00:15:21,443 --> 00:15:23,231 Together it seems to work. 367 00:15:23,368 --> 00:15:25,153 The concert is canceled, everybody. 368 00:15:25,184 --> 00:15:27,209 No. Here's the thing, though, Ben. It's not canceled. 369 00:15:27,242 --> 00:15:29,766 We're putting it on. Okay? Because the stage is already built. 370 00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:32,673 Everything was donated for free by local vendors. 371 00:15:32,743 --> 00:15:35,769 Everyone here believes that what we're doing is essential. 372 00:15:35,846 --> 00:15:37,939 Freddy Spaghetti will sing. 373 00:15:38,015 --> 00:15:40,317 Actually, Leslie, I just found out. 374 00:15:40,423 --> 00:15:42,391 Freddy Spaghetti ain't coming. 375 00:15:43,787 --> 00:15:46,212 Freddy Spaghetti may not sing. 376 00:15:46,623 --> 00:15:50,410 But something much cooler is going to happen. 377 00:15:50,861 --> 00:15:53,286 I think. Ann? 378 00:15:56,667 --> 00:15:59,985 Okay. Good job. You should hydrate. 379 00:16:01,571 --> 00:16:04,563 When we canceled on him, he took another gig in Eagleton. 380 00:16:04,641 --> 00:16:06,108 At a library. 381 00:16:07,277 --> 00:16:09,074 That's literally the worst place I can imagine. 382 00:16:09,179 --> 00:16:11,010 Okay. Guys? We're not giving up on this. 383 00:16:11,081 --> 00:16:13,345 He's not the only musician in town. 384 00:16:13,483 --> 00:16:15,026 - Andy. - I don't know, Leslie. 385 00:16:15,065 --> 00:16:16,265 I don't really feel like playing right now. 386 00:16:16,323 --> 00:16:17,773 Andy, please. Please, please, please, please, please. 387 00:16:17,812 --> 00:16:19,302 I don't even have children's songs. 388 00:16:19,348 --> 00:16:21,145 My last song I wrote was called Sex Hair. 389 00:16:21,189 --> 00:16:24,877 Well, just take the word "sex" and change it to "pickle." 390 00:16:24,946 --> 00:16:25,715 Pickle? 391 00:16:25,761 --> 00:16:31,131 You got pickle hair, baby And you got it from me 392 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:32,258 Yeah. Still sounds like it's about sex. 393 00:16:32,335 --> 00:16:33,962 I'm in. I've got to grab my guitar from my house. 394 00:16:34,036 --> 00:16:35,628 I'll be back shortly! Yeah! 395 00:16:35,705 --> 00:16:38,105 See, guys? We have a solution. 396 00:16:38,174 --> 00:16:39,732 And the good news is there's always a solution 397 00:16:39,809 --> 00:16:42,744 if your motives are pure, and your cause is just. 398 00:16:42,812 --> 00:16:44,473 There's nothing... 399 00:16:44,547 --> 00:16:46,378 Ow! My arm! 400 00:16:49,940 --> 00:16:54,104 You have two broken bones in your right arm, and four in your hand. 401 00:16:54,178 --> 00:16:55,645 That's the side that hurts. 402 00:16:55,746 --> 00:16:57,145 How soon until he's better? 403 00:16:57,214 --> 00:17:00,444 We'll set the fractures, and I'd like to keep him overnight for observation. 404 00:17:00,583 --> 00:17:03,416 Is there any chance you can fix me in the next 10 minutes? 405 00:17:03,486 --> 00:17:06,421 Sure, I'll just advance medical science 30 years. 406 00:17:06,523 --> 00:17:09,390 - Great. - Can Mouse Rat play without you? 407 00:17:09,459 --> 00:17:13,190 They tried once. They're called Rat Mouse, and they're awful. 408 00:17:13,263 --> 00:17:15,857 But you have got to find somebody. 409 00:17:15,932 --> 00:17:19,163 There's an old saying in show business. "The show must go wrong." 410 00:17:19,235 --> 00:17:23,194 Everything always goes wrong, and you just have to deal with it. 411 00:17:30,046 --> 00:17:34,608 Hello, Pawnee. I'm Renata Ricotta. 412 00:17:34,684 --> 00:17:37,847 Freddy Spaghetti couldn't make it today. 413 00:17:37,921 --> 00:17:39,513 He bumped his noodle. 414 00:17:42,158 --> 00:17:46,184 There was sauce everywhere. It was just streaming out of his face. 415 00:17:46,261 --> 00:17:48,354 It was really scary. 416 00:17:49,164 --> 00:17:51,132 All right. 417 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:55,796 If you're happy and you know it Clap your hands 418 00:17:58,740 --> 00:18:01,903 If you're happy and you know it Clap your hands 419 00:18:03,912 --> 00:18:06,710 Hey, kids! It's me, Freddy Spaghetti! 420 00:18:08,750 --> 00:18:10,775 Hey, I thought you were playing in Eagleton. 421 00:18:10,852 --> 00:18:12,479 All I know is this guy showed up 422 00:18:12,554 --> 00:18:14,112 and made me a much better offer. 423 00:18:14,189 --> 00:18:16,714 I am all about the money, babe. 424 00:18:16,792 --> 00:18:23,220 She cooked an itsy-bitsy teenie-weenie yellow polka dot linguine 425 00:18:23,298 --> 00:18:26,233 That she made for the first time that day 426 00:18:26,568 --> 00:18:27,796 Thank you very much. 427 00:18:27,869 --> 00:18:29,131 Ron Corleone. 428 00:18:29,204 --> 00:18:32,832 This really attractive woman is my girlfriend, Lucy. 429 00:18:32,907 --> 00:18:34,898 - Hello, Lucy. Whoa! - Hi. 430 00:18:35,643 --> 00:18:37,372 - Impressive handshake. - Thanks. 431 00:18:37,445 --> 00:18:38,826 My father told me that a limp handshake 432 00:18:38,858 --> 00:18:40,587 was for weak men and Communists. 433 00:18:40,648 --> 00:18:41,842 He hated both. 434 00:18:41,916 --> 00:18:43,383 Well done, Tommy. 435 00:18:43,451 --> 00:18:45,544 Is that bacon on your turkey leg? 436 00:18:45,620 --> 00:18:47,588 They call it a Swanson. 437 00:18:50,366 --> 00:18:51,355 Wow. 438 00:18:52,329 --> 00:18:54,329 Freddy Spaghetti! 439 00:18:54,453 --> 00:18:56,117 That guy rules. 440 00:18:56,392 --> 00:19:00,324 I brought you your favorite. Every color of Jell-O. 441 00:19:01,931 --> 00:19:03,831 The Jell-O rainbow. 442 00:19:04,657 --> 00:19:06,124 Thank you. 443 00:19:06,530 --> 00:19:10,129 - Is something wrong. - Okay. You know, when you're just 444 00:19:10,185 --> 00:19:13,923 already having a bad day and then you broke all the bones in your arm 445 00:19:13,948 --> 00:19:15,698 because you crash your motorcycle. 446 00:19:15,841 --> 00:19:19,006 Dude. That's what my whole week has been like. 447 00:19:19,243 --> 00:19:24,043 - My life is a motorcycle crash right now. - Oh no. 448 00:19:24,791 --> 00:19:28,428 Injured Andy. It's kind of like old times, huh? 449 00:19:28,824 --> 00:19:31,884 - Yeah. - I almost expect you to call me A-Cakes. 450 00:19:33,562 --> 00:19:35,393 A-Cakes. 451 00:19:35,464 --> 00:19:37,625 Well, I'm glad you're okay. 452 00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:47,637 Oh, my God. I'm... 453 00:19:48,777 --> 00:19:52,372 I'm so sorry. I should not... 454 00:19:52,447 --> 00:19:55,229 I'm sorry. That was not... 455 00:20:00,255 --> 00:20:01,381 Spaghetti. 456 00:20:01,523 --> 00:20:02,683 Spaghetti. 457 00:20:02,757 --> 00:20:03,951 Fusilli. 458 00:20:04,092 --> 00:20:05,286 Fusilli. 459 00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:07,294 - Egg noodles. - Egg noodles. 460 00:20:07,362 --> 00:20:09,125 Why did you do this? 461 00:20:09,197 --> 00:20:12,724 Well, I'm not a monster. I want the kids to have their concert. 462 00:20:12,801 --> 00:20:14,234 Mean Ben has a soft spot. 463 00:20:14,302 --> 00:20:15,530 Is that what you guys call me? 464 00:20:15,603 --> 00:20:17,833 - No. No, no, no. - Mean Ben? 465 00:20:19,507 --> 00:20:23,136 Look, this is really great today, 466 00:20:23,211 --> 00:20:25,041 but there's going to be a lot of pain ahead, Leslie. 467 00:20:25,112 --> 00:20:26,477 We have to cut 32% of the... 468 00:20:26,547 --> 00:20:28,742 Just... Can you just stop it? 469 00:20:28,816 --> 00:20:31,148 Okay? Just for one moment, 470 00:20:31,218 --> 00:20:36,053 enjoy the fact that you provided a service for people, not a cut. 471 00:20:36,123 --> 00:20:37,818 A service. And they love it. 472 00:20:37,891 --> 00:20:39,722 - Macaroni. - Macaroni. 473 00:20:39,793 --> 00:20:42,523 The biggest service was getting you to stop singing. 474 00:20:42,596 --> 00:20:44,223 - Linguine. - Tetrazzini. 475 00:20:44,298 --> 00:20:45,602 Tetrazzini. 476 00:20:47,346 --> 00:20:50,299 Hey. Do you want go to Ann's house? 477 00:20:51,541 --> 00:20:53,541 - Seriously? - Yeah. 478 00:20:54,878 --> 00:20:56,878 Move! 479 00:20:57,021 --> 00:20:59,021 Excuse me! 480 00:21:00,134 --> 00:21:01,465 - Hey. - April. 481 00:21:01,535 --> 00:21:04,470 I just heard. Are you okay? 482 00:21:04,538 --> 00:21:06,403 - Yeah. - Oh, my God. 483 00:21:07,508 --> 00:21:11,911 Listen, what I said this afternoon was stupid. 484 00:21:11,979 --> 00:21:15,073 Okay? I totally want to go out with you. 485 00:21:15,149 --> 00:21:17,640 Good. I want to be with you. 486 00:21:32,565 --> 00:21:34,992 - That was nice. - That... yeah. 487 00:21:37,070 --> 00:21:38,610 Here's just one thing, real quick. 488 00:21:38,635 --> 00:21:41,433 I want to be totally honest with you, because I like you so much. 489 00:21:41,461 --> 00:21:42,544 - Okay. - But, like, two minutes ago, 490 00:21:42,566 --> 00:21:44,885 me and Ann did kiss. 491 00:21:45,111 --> 00:21:47,648 - What? - But here's... No, no, no, no. 492 00:21:47,685 --> 00:21:50,347 It was crazy. She kissed me. 493 00:21:50,416 --> 00:21:51,849 - Okay, bye. - Wait, where are you going? 494 00:21:51,918 --> 00:21:53,217 - Bye. - No, no, no, no, no! Hey! 495 00:21:53,252 --> 00:21:54,583 - Bye. - April. April! 496 00:21:54,642 --> 00:21:55,768 Bye! 497 00:21:59,058 --> 00:22:02,108 Dude, don't even think about kissing me. 498 00:22:07,202 --> 00:22:09,952 Ann Perkins? Chris Traeger. 499 00:22:11,788 --> 00:22:14,327 - Tom Haverford. Who's your friend? - What the hell? 500 00:22:14,370 --> 00:22:16,589 - Get out of here, dude! - You got it, Tom. 501 00:22:19,234 --> 00:22:21,225 And what was your favorite song, Chelsea? 502 00:22:21,277 --> 00:22:22,346 Penne and the Jets. 503 00:22:22,404 --> 00:22:23,962 Me, too! 504 00:22:24,039 --> 00:22:25,027 Thank you all so much. 505 00:22:25,079 --> 00:22:27,889 With all the parks closed, we've been going crazy. 506 00:22:27,942 --> 00:22:29,330 It's our pleasure. 507 00:22:29,509 --> 00:22:30,533 Come on. 508 00:22:31,561 --> 00:22:34,325 You guys are the best, most important people 509 00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:35,445 in the most important government 510 00:22:35,491 --> 00:22:36,822 in the best city in the world. 511 00:22:36,918 --> 00:22:39,028 Suck it, Paris, France. 512 00:22:39,554 --> 00:22:42,455 Well, I would say see you tomorrow, but... 513 00:22:43,191 --> 00:22:45,284 - Great job. - Good work, Leslie. 514 00:22:45,334 --> 00:22:46,358 - Bye. - See you. 515 00:22:46,410 --> 00:22:48,537 - Bye. - See you soon, I hope. 516 00:23:01,409 --> 00:23:04,003 I liked this a lot better when it was a pit. 517 00:23:04,846 --> 00:23:06,336 Is that weird? 518 00:23:07,582 --> 00:23:10,914 I'm sorry I called you Mark Brendana-quitz. 519 00:23:10,984 --> 00:23:13,976 Don't ever apologize to me. 520 00:23:14,054 --> 00:23:16,716 I'm serious. If everyone in government were like you, 521 00:23:16,790 --> 00:23:19,486 then I would probably still work there. 522 00:23:19,559 --> 00:23:20,958 I got you a going-away present. 523 00:23:21,027 --> 00:23:22,619 - You did? - Mmm-hmm. 524 00:23:23,396 --> 00:23:27,389 Here. Red tape. So you'll never forget your roots. 525 00:23:27,467 --> 00:23:29,458 - That's really nice of you. - Yeah. 526 00:23:29,536 --> 00:23:31,834 Well, I have something for you, too. 527 00:23:31,905 --> 00:23:33,770 You do? 528 00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:38,140 I sort of threw together some plans for a future park. 529 00:23:40,614 --> 00:23:42,275 I couldn't fit everything in that you wanted. 530 00:23:42,349 --> 00:23:43,873 Like the roller coaster or the shark tank. 531 00:23:43,950 --> 00:23:47,408 But I think it's a pretty good start. 532 00:23:48,655 --> 00:23:49,849 Thank you. 533 00:23:49,990 --> 00:23:51,184 You're really welcome. 534 00:23:52,993 --> 00:23:55,518 But, you know, Pawnee's bankrupt. 535 00:23:56,795 --> 00:24:00,196 I doubt I'll get to build a park anytime soon. 536 00:24:00,599 --> 00:24:02,931 I wouldn't bet against you. 537 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:09,764 - See you around. - Mmm-hmm. 538 00:24:19,599 --> 00:24:20,896 Morning. 539 00:24:21,034 --> 00:24:22,365 Hi, what are you doing here? 540 00:24:22,404 --> 00:24:26,369 Ron made me the official Parks and Rec representative for the budget discussions. 541 00:24:26,652 --> 00:24:28,857 - That's only supposed to be... - Essential personnel? 542 00:24:28,918 --> 00:24:30,244 - Yeah. - Yeah. 543 00:24:30,836 --> 00:24:33,862 So, shall we get started? I have so many ideas. 544 00:24:36,706 --> 00:24:38,765 Is this an autographed picture of Jamie Foxx? 545 00:24:38,806 --> 00:24:41,330 There it is. Thank God. 546 00:24:41,408 --> 00:24:43,603 So how long is this shutdown going to last? 547 00:24:43,677 --> 00:24:46,168 No idea. I might have to get a temp job. 548 00:24:46,246 --> 00:24:48,327 Maybe I should start working on my cologne line. 549 00:24:50,050 --> 00:24:53,884 Uh-oh. Check it out. Whenever Ron has sex, 550 00:24:53,954 --> 00:24:57,685 the next morning, he comes in dressed like Tiger Woods. 551 00:24:58,558 --> 00:24:59,957 You all set? 552 00:25:00,026 --> 00:25:01,391 Oh, God. 553 00:25:01,461 --> 00:25:03,101 - What? - Who is that? 554 00:25:04,097 --> 00:25:06,617 That is my ex-wife.