1 00:00:02,115 --> 00:00:05,346 Okay, Jerry, what have you chosen to put in the time capsule? 2 00:00:05,418 --> 00:00:07,409 These are my mother's diaries. 3 00:00:07,754 --> 00:00:09,779 Wow. Yeah, she lived in Pawnee all of her life 4 00:00:09,856 --> 00:00:11,847 and recorded everything she ever did. 5 00:00:11,925 --> 00:00:13,324 Yeah, so it's, you know, kind of like 6 00:00:13,393 --> 00:00:14,690 a living document about the town. 7 00:00:14,761 --> 00:00:17,821 Mmm. A disappointingly good idea from Jerry. 8 00:00:17,897 --> 00:00:19,762 Better than good, Jerry. Perfect. 9 00:00:19,899 --> 00:00:20,888 Give me that. 10 00:00:21,534 --> 00:00:24,196 "January 18, 1964. 11 00:00:24,270 --> 00:00:27,330 "Jerrold starred in his school production of Peter Pan. 12 00:00:27,407 --> 00:00:28,704 "He was a beautiful Tinker Bell." 13 00:00:30,844 --> 00:00:32,368 It was an all-boys school. 14 00:00:35,849 --> 00:00:37,942 Jerry! 15 00:00:39,019 --> 00:00:40,350 Hey, Leslie, I have an idea. 16 00:00:40,420 --> 00:00:42,217 Why don't we put Eduardo in there 17 00:00:42,288 --> 00:00:45,815 and seal the top so that he suffocates and dies? 18 00:00:46,659 --> 00:00:48,286 Okay, Tom, you're up. 19 00:00:48,361 --> 00:00:52,764 For my item, I chose a picture of my ex-girlfriend Lucy 20 00:00:52,832 --> 00:00:54,459 with a mustache drawn on her face 21 00:00:54,534 --> 00:00:56,832 and stink lines coming off her, 'cause she stinks. 22 00:00:57,270 --> 00:00:59,704 She broke up with me. Didn't really tell me why. 23 00:00:59,773 --> 00:01:02,264 Luckily, when you're the guy, you can just tell people she's crazy. 24 00:01:02,842 --> 00:01:04,901 "Hey, Tom, I heard you and Lucy broke up." 25 00:01:04,978 --> 00:01:07,310 "Yeah, man. Turns out she's crazy." 26 00:01:07,747 --> 00:01:09,647 That's what they always do on Entourage. 27 00:01:09,883 --> 00:01:10,872 Ron? 28 00:01:10,950 --> 00:01:12,542 I am submitting this menu 29 00:01:12,619 --> 00:01:14,951 from a Pawnee institution, JJ's diner, 30 00:01:15,088 --> 00:01:17,454 home of the world's best breakfast dish, 31 00:01:17,524 --> 00:01:20,084 The Four Horse-meals of the Egg-pork-calypse. 32 00:01:20,493 --> 00:01:21,983 Wendy loves it, too. 33 00:01:22,062 --> 00:01:23,086 And I am submitting this. 34 00:01:24,731 --> 00:01:27,632 A brief history of everything that has ever happened 35 00:01:27,700 --> 00:01:28,792 since Pawnee was founded. 36 00:01:29,502 --> 00:01:32,130 Not like you get extra credit for this, but I did type it from memory. 37 00:01:32,205 --> 00:01:33,934 And for the first time ever compiled, 38 00:01:34,007 --> 00:01:39,343 it includes a complete list of every official town slogan we've ever had. 39 00:01:39,412 --> 00:01:40,879 Oh, my God, Leslie. - I know. Can you believe it? 40 00:01:40,947 --> 00:01:41,936 That's crazy. Isn't it? 41 00:01:42,148 --> 00:01:44,207 The Paris of America." 42 00:01:44,617 --> 00:01:47,051 The Akron of Southwest Indiana." 43 00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:49,554 Welcome, German soldiers." 44 00:01:50,223 --> 00:01:53,056 After the Nazis took France, our mayor kind of panicked. 45 00:01:53,126 --> 00:01:55,390 The factory fire capital of America." 46 00:01:55,595 --> 00:01:57,995 Welcome, Vietnamese soldiers." 47 00:01:58,198 --> 00:02:00,530 Engage with Zorp." 48 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:03,763 For a brief time in the '70s, our town was taken over by a cult. 49 00:02:04,070 --> 00:02:06,436 Zorp is dead. Long live Zorp." 50 00:02:06,506 --> 00:02:08,497 It's safe to be here now." 51 00:02:08,708 --> 00:02:11,370 Birthplace of Julia Roberts." 52 00:02:11,444 --> 00:02:13,309 That was a lie, she sued, and so we had to change it. 53 00:02:13,646 --> 00:02:17,104 Home of the world-famous Julia Roberts lawsuit." 54 00:02:17,450 --> 00:02:19,748 Welcome, Taliban soldiers." 55 00:02:19,819 --> 00:02:21,787 And finally, our current slogan. 56 00:02:21,855 --> 00:02:25,313 First in friendship, fourth in obesity." 57 00:02:45,812 --> 00:02:47,939 Yes, Pawnee has had its set of problems, 58 00:02:48,014 --> 00:02:51,677 but this time capsule is our way of saying 59 00:02:51,751 --> 00:02:54,652 that Pawnee is gonna be around for a long time... 60 00:02:54,921 --> 00:02:56,047 Capsule. 61 00:02:56,122 --> 00:02:57,111 And you can quote me on that. 62 00:02:57,190 --> 00:02:58,782 I'm actually gonna quote you on all of this, 63 00:02:58,858 --> 00:02:59,882 'cause it's a newspaper article. 64 00:02:59,959 --> 00:03:01,324 I thought of a great headline. Great. 65 00:03:01,394 --> 00:03:04,295 "It's Time to Encapsulate the Future." 66 00:03:04,631 --> 00:03:05,859 Good one. Sub headline, 67 00:03:05,932 --> 00:03:08,765 "The Parks Department Cuts the Crapsule, Buries the Time Capsule." 68 00:03:09,002 --> 00:03:10,401 I'll be back tomorrow with the photographer. 69 00:03:10,470 --> 00:03:11,664 Okay. 70 00:03:12,172 --> 00:03:13,639 Leslie, this guy's here. 71 00:03:14,374 --> 00:03:15,363 Hi. Can I help you? 72 00:03:15,575 --> 00:03:16,564 I'm Kelly Larson. 73 00:03:16,643 --> 00:03:18,133 I read online about your time capsule, 74 00:03:18,278 --> 00:03:19,802 and I'm here to make a suggestion. 75 00:03:20,213 --> 00:03:21,510 Oh, I'm sorry. We're not taking... 76 00:03:21,581 --> 00:03:22,946 Twilight books. 77 00:03:23,016 --> 00:03:26,247 It's a beautifully told saga of vampires, werewolves and romance. 78 00:03:26,419 --> 00:03:29,320 You are the person that's been emailing me about Twilight. 79 00:03:29,389 --> 00:03:32,552 I thought you would be younger. And a girl. 80 00:03:32,625 --> 00:03:33,649 Well, I'm not. 81 00:03:33,726 --> 00:03:34,886 I'm older and a boy. 82 00:03:34,961 --> 00:03:36,588 But I feel very strongly that these should 83 00:03:36,729 --> 00:03:38,390 be included. Can I tell you why? 84 00:03:39,699 --> 00:03:41,166 Sure, Kelly. Have a seat. Awesome. 85 00:03:41,234 --> 00:03:42,223 And plead your case. Thanks. 86 00:03:43,002 --> 00:03:45,232 Okay, Christmas Eve, 1973. 87 00:03:45,305 --> 00:03:46,897 Author Stephenie Meyer, née Morgan, 88 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:48,632 was born in Hartford, Connecticut. 89 00:03:48,708 --> 00:03:51,609 Oh. You're going all the way back to her birth. Okay. 90 00:03:52,145 --> 00:03:55,672 So basically, Ann kissed me and then April kissed me, 91 00:03:55,748 --> 00:03:58,842 and I told April, because of honesty is important. 92 00:03:59,219 --> 00:04:00,208 That's so true. 93 00:04:00,286 --> 00:04:03,653 But now she's gone and gotten herself a Venezuelan boyfriend 94 00:04:03,723 --> 00:04:06,123 who's, like, the handsomest dude I've ever seen. 95 00:04:06,192 --> 00:04:07,454 Present company excluded. 96 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:08,954 Oh, thank you. 97 00:04:10,063 --> 00:04:11,052 I was talking about me. 98 00:04:11,864 --> 00:04:12,853 Hey. 99 00:04:12,999 --> 00:04:13,988 Ann Perkins! 100 00:04:14,067 --> 00:04:15,728 Andy just gave me a phenomenal shoeshine 101 00:04:15,969 --> 00:04:18,267 and I did not know that you two once lived together. 102 00:04:18,538 --> 00:04:20,335 Yes. Yes, we did. 103 00:04:20,406 --> 00:04:22,499 Thank you for catching him up on our history. 104 00:04:22,575 --> 00:04:25,203 Andy, that was an amazing shoeshine. 105 00:04:25,278 --> 00:04:27,769 I can literally see my face in my shoes. 106 00:04:28,414 --> 00:04:30,541 See you later! 107 00:04:30,717 --> 00:04:31,911 He didn't... He didn't pay me. 108 00:04:32,185 --> 00:04:33,550 Why are you hanging out with Chris? 109 00:04:33,620 --> 00:04:34,609 He just sat down. 110 00:04:34,687 --> 00:04:35,881 What am I supposed to do? He's my boss. 111 00:04:36,122 --> 00:04:37,851 No, he's not. He isn't? 112 00:04:38,224 --> 00:04:39,782 God dang it. 113 00:04:39,859 --> 00:04:41,486 I cannot figure out who my boss is. 114 00:04:41,561 --> 00:04:43,188 Andy, I like this guy. 115 00:04:43,263 --> 00:04:45,288 Please don't do anything weird, I beg you. 116 00:04:46,466 --> 00:04:49,435 I just started dating Chris, and I don't know how, 117 00:04:49,502 --> 00:04:51,094 but Andy's gonna screw it up. 118 00:04:51,170 --> 00:04:53,001 Andy screws everything up. 119 00:04:53,072 --> 00:04:54,733 When we were dating, I bought him a fish 120 00:04:54,807 --> 00:04:56,001 and I don't want to get into it, 121 00:04:56,075 --> 00:04:59,943 but somehow that fish ended up dead in a cowboy boot. 122 00:05:00,179 --> 00:05:04,206 And combined, they have sold more than 100 million copies worldwide. 123 00:05:04,284 --> 00:05:06,013 Now, have you seen any of the Twilight movies? 124 00:05:06,185 --> 00:05:07,174 No, I have not. Well, let me 125 00:05:07,253 --> 00:05:08,652 describe them to you shot for shot. 126 00:05:09,255 --> 00:05:11,553 Movie number one. Twilight. 127 00:05:11,624 --> 00:05:13,785 We slowly pan up over a mossy log 128 00:05:13,926 --> 00:05:16,121 to see a deer drinking crystal-clear water. 129 00:05:16,195 --> 00:05:21,497 Okay, Kelly, this time capsule isn't just a barrel full of stuff that people like. 130 00:05:21,567 --> 00:05:24,559 It's about life in Pawnee at this moment in time, 131 00:05:24,637 --> 00:05:28,368 and there is nothing in Twilight that is specific to Pawnee. 132 00:05:28,441 --> 00:05:29,567 I disagree, okay? 133 00:05:29,642 --> 00:05:32,941 The town of Forks, Washington is exactly like Pawnee, 134 00:05:33,012 --> 00:05:35,446 except for the climate and the vampires. 135 00:05:35,915 --> 00:05:37,041 I'm sorry. I have to say no. 136 00:05:37,350 --> 00:05:38,681 I beg you to reconsider. 137 00:05:38,785 --> 00:05:40,082 And I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. 138 00:05:40,453 --> 00:05:43,388 Then I'm gonna have to do this. 139 00:05:49,128 --> 00:05:51,528 He brought handcuffs with him. This whole thing was planned. 140 00:05:52,131 --> 00:05:53,155 I think it's kind of cool. 141 00:05:53,232 --> 00:05:55,029 It's not cool. It's trespassing, 142 00:05:55,101 --> 00:05:56,534 and that is breaking the rules. 143 00:05:56,602 --> 00:05:58,365 Cool people make the rules. They don't break the rules. 144 00:05:58,438 --> 00:05:59,996 And if those kids want you to break the rules, 145 00:06:00,073 --> 00:06:01,233 they're not really your friends. 146 00:06:01,307 --> 00:06:02,899 Whoa, who are you even talking about? 147 00:06:02,975 --> 00:06:04,135 I don't know. I'm sorry. I'm just annoyed. 148 00:06:04,610 --> 00:06:05,668 But while we're on the subject, 149 00:06:05,745 --> 00:06:08,077 your friend Orrin, with the long black nails and the cloak? 150 00:06:08,147 --> 00:06:09,136 He concerns me. 151 00:06:09,282 --> 00:06:10,271 He's a genius. 152 00:06:11,784 --> 00:06:13,581 I'll take care of this trespasser. 153 00:06:13,653 --> 00:06:14,847 Give me 30 seconds. 154 00:06:14,921 --> 00:06:15,979 I'm just gonna call security. 155 00:06:16,322 --> 00:06:18,790 Guys, can we push the meeting an hour? 156 00:06:18,858 --> 00:06:19,984 What's going on? 157 00:06:20,059 --> 00:06:22,289 Some guy handcuffed himself to a pipe in my office 158 00:06:22,362 --> 00:06:24,887 because we wouldn't put a copy of Twilight in the time capsule. 159 00:06:25,131 --> 00:06:27,099 Damn it. Again? 160 00:06:29,535 --> 00:06:30,559 You look sad. 161 00:06:30,970 --> 00:06:33,495 You look like a weird goon who's obsessed with a kid's book. 162 00:06:33,573 --> 00:06:34,562 It's a girl, isn't it? 163 00:06:35,041 --> 00:06:36,565 I can tell. 164 00:06:36,642 --> 00:06:38,132 It's the look that Mike had on his face 165 00:06:38,211 --> 00:06:39,678 when Bella turned him down for the dance. 166 00:06:40,012 --> 00:06:41,377 Oh, yeah? Is it? 167 00:06:41,447 --> 00:06:42,607 What look did your mom have on her face 168 00:06:42,682 --> 00:06:44,775 when she realized her son was a complete failure? 169 00:06:45,051 --> 00:06:46,951 Okay, I'll be quiet. 170 00:06:47,253 --> 00:06:50,484 But I do know something about heartbreak. And you know who else does? 171 00:06:51,157 --> 00:06:52,146 Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds? 172 00:06:52,291 --> 00:06:53,280 No. 173 00:06:53,526 --> 00:06:56,518 A little lady named Twilight author Stephenie Meyer. 174 00:06:57,597 --> 00:06:58,586 Trust me. 175 00:06:59,198 --> 00:07:02,133 You should listen to him. Those books are good. 176 00:07:02,235 --> 00:07:07,366 Oh, I love any book about vampires, werewolves, monsters, zombies, 177 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:11,171 sorcerers, beasties or time-traveling romances. 178 00:07:11,244 --> 00:07:13,906 And if I had an hour alone with Robert Pattinson, 179 00:07:13,980 --> 00:07:15,743 he would forget all about Skinnylegs McGee. 180 00:07:15,815 --> 00:07:16,839 I'll tell you that much. 181 00:07:17,350 --> 00:07:19,818 Okay, buddy, time is up. Give us the keys. 182 00:07:20,119 --> 00:07:21,711 They're hidden somewhere very far away. 183 00:07:21,988 --> 00:07:23,114 Then we're gonna have to cut you loose. 184 00:07:23,356 --> 00:07:24,550 Why? I'm not doing anything wrong. 185 00:07:24,824 --> 00:07:26,587 Yes, you are. You're trespassing. 186 00:07:26,659 --> 00:07:29,025 Well, the fact remains this is perfectly legal. 187 00:07:29,095 --> 00:07:30,585 No, it's not. You're trespassing. 188 00:07:30,797 --> 00:07:32,958 Look, I really don't want to cause any trouble, 189 00:07:33,032 --> 00:07:36,524 but I am not gonna leave until you put Twilight in the time capsule. 190 00:07:36,702 --> 00:07:38,932 This muscle-headed Stormtrooper doesn't scare me. 191 00:07:39,739 --> 00:07:40,728 Go ahead, Artie. 192 00:07:40,807 --> 00:07:42,707 No! No! No! No! No! 193 00:07:42,775 --> 00:07:45,710 Please! No! No! No! No! No! No! Get him away from me! 194 00:07:46,212 --> 00:07:47,236 I am very scared of you! 195 00:07:48,247 --> 00:07:51,182 All right! Okay! All right! All right! All right! Stop. 196 00:07:51,250 --> 00:07:53,445 If he wants to stay in there, I'll let him stay in there. 197 00:07:53,786 --> 00:07:56,983 In two hours, he's gonna be so hungry and freaked out, 198 00:07:57,056 --> 00:08:00,856 he's gonna be begging me to... 199 00:08:00,927 --> 00:08:02,019 He brought a pillow. 200 00:08:02,094 --> 00:08:04,460 Hey, Leslie, I'm making some Sleepytime tea. Do you want any? 201 00:08:09,869 --> 00:08:11,302 Hey, dude, wake up, man. 202 00:08:11,471 --> 00:08:13,371 Oh, morning, Tom. 203 00:08:13,439 --> 00:08:15,771 Twilight is dope. 204 00:08:16,108 --> 00:08:18,133 I told you. I couldn't put it down. 205 00:08:18,211 --> 00:08:19,974 It was like she was peering into my soul. 206 00:08:20,246 --> 00:08:22,305 Sing it, friend. Here. 207 00:08:22,381 --> 00:08:24,872 Book two. New Moon. 208 00:08:25,351 --> 00:08:26,340 Get cracking. 209 00:08:26,419 --> 00:08:27,613 There's a second book? 210 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:29,951 And a third and a fourth. 211 00:08:30,323 --> 00:08:31,881 No way. 212 00:08:33,259 --> 00:08:34,749 It's fantastic. Yeah. 213 00:08:34,861 --> 00:08:37,295 I worked really hard. I did every pair that I could. 214 00:08:37,497 --> 00:08:39,988 I didn't know what to do with these. 215 00:08:40,066 --> 00:08:41,761 I think they're gloves. No, no, no, no. 216 00:08:41,834 --> 00:08:42,926 Those are sports sandals. 217 00:08:43,302 --> 00:08:44,428 They are for adventure racing. 218 00:08:45,004 --> 00:08:46,801 They perfectly contour to the human foot, 219 00:08:46,873 --> 00:08:49,273 and the human foot is the ultimate technology. 220 00:08:49,342 --> 00:08:53,108 Dude, that is the coolest sentence I've ever heard somebody talk. 221 00:08:54,380 --> 00:08:57,144 So you love April, and she has a new boyfriend, right? 222 00:08:57,316 --> 00:08:59,284 You got all of that from a picture? 223 00:08:59,485 --> 00:09:00,509 No, you told me yesterday. 224 00:09:00,586 --> 00:09:04,147 Andy, I want to help you win her over. 225 00:09:05,391 --> 00:09:06,949 Why do I want to help him? 226 00:09:07,026 --> 00:09:08,550 Because he's a good person. 227 00:09:08,628 --> 00:09:10,061 I love good people. 228 00:09:10,129 --> 00:09:12,188 Hey, you know who should wear these shoes? 229 00:09:12,265 --> 00:09:13,254 Monkeys. 230 00:09:17,370 --> 00:09:19,304 Well, this is an interesting turn of events. 231 00:09:19,372 --> 00:09:20,361 Is it? I don't know. 232 00:09:20,439 --> 00:09:21,599 I mean, I guess it's kind of interesting. 233 00:09:21,674 --> 00:09:25,075 What the real story is is how wonderful our time capsule is 234 00:09:25,144 --> 00:09:27,544 and how it perfectly encapsulates, 235 00:09:27,613 --> 00:09:29,513 a word I really think you should use, 236 00:09:29,649 --> 00:09:30,843 what our town is all about. 237 00:09:30,917 --> 00:09:32,145 Hey, how's this for a headline? 238 00:09:32,218 --> 00:09:35,051 "Parks Department Foiled by Pipe Dreams." 239 00:09:36,088 --> 00:09:37,385 God, that's an amazing headline, 240 00:09:37,523 --> 00:09:38,854 but please don't write that story. 241 00:09:39,425 --> 00:09:41,985 The key to April's heart is within you, Andy. 242 00:09:42,328 --> 00:09:44,956 You need to tap in to the aspects of your personality 243 00:09:45,164 --> 00:09:49,362 that she once found attractive to make yourself the best version of yourself. 244 00:09:50,303 --> 00:09:51,292 What's great about you? 245 00:09:51,938 --> 00:09:52,927 I'm nice. 246 00:09:53,005 --> 00:09:53,994 Good! Nice. 247 00:09:55,608 --> 00:09:57,041 What else? I'm in a band. 248 00:09:57,276 --> 00:09:59,267 Band! 249 00:09:59,845 --> 00:10:01,312 What else? That's it. 250 00:10:03,549 --> 00:10:05,107 Am I team Edward? Yes. 251 00:10:06,052 --> 00:10:08,714 Do I share his concerns about turning Bella, though? 252 00:10:08,788 --> 00:10:09,777 Absolutely not. 253 00:10:10,122 --> 00:10:13,717 Edward's primary goal, at all times, is Bella's protection. 254 00:10:13,793 --> 00:10:16,990 Can you please, please be quiet? 255 00:10:17,496 --> 00:10:18,554 Sorry. Sorry. 256 00:10:18,631 --> 00:10:20,622 Let's keep it down. Be considerate. 257 00:10:20,700 --> 00:10:21,689 Look at it this way, Tom. 258 00:10:21,767 --> 00:10:23,928 Bella's love for Edward is being tested. 259 00:10:24,637 --> 00:10:25,695 By Jacob? 260 00:10:25,871 --> 00:10:26,860 Mmm. Not exactly. 261 00:10:26,939 --> 00:10:27,928 The Volturi? Yes. 262 00:10:28,007 --> 00:10:28,996 Okay, you know what? All right. 263 00:10:29,075 --> 00:10:30,508 I'm gonna go do my work in the conference room, 264 00:10:30,576 --> 00:10:32,203 'cause you guys are the worst. 265 00:10:32,345 --> 00:10:34,540 You seem tense, Leslie. You know what you should do? 266 00:10:34,947 --> 00:10:35,936 Read Twilight? 267 00:10:36,015 --> 00:10:39,348 Read Twilight. Here. Yeah, thanks. 268 00:10:39,719 --> 00:10:42,415 Sometimes I think she's in the Volturi. 269 00:10:46,359 --> 00:10:47,690 Good morning, Kelly. 270 00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:48,920 Oh, morning, Leslie. 271 00:10:48,995 --> 00:10:50,860 Hope you don't mind, I moved myself over to this pipe. 272 00:10:50,930 --> 00:10:51,954 It's a little more comfortable. 273 00:10:52,031 --> 00:10:53,965 No problem. Did you have a nice night? Sleep well? 274 00:10:54,567 --> 00:10:55,591 It was all right, considering. 275 00:10:55,701 --> 00:10:56,690 Picked you up some coffee. 276 00:10:56,769 --> 00:10:57,758 Thank you so much. 277 00:10:57,903 --> 00:11:00,565 Well, you seem pretty chipper this morning. I am, Kelly, 278 00:11:01,207 --> 00:11:02,572 because I know why you're here. 279 00:11:04,377 --> 00:11:05,776 You know what I did last night? 280 00:11:06,145 --> 00:11:07,703 Read Twilight, and it transformed your life 281 00:11:07,847 --> 00:11:09,439 and you're gonna put it in the time capsule? 282 00:11:09,515 --> 00:11:10,846 Well, I read the first 10 pages. 283 00:11:10,983 --> 00:11:12,314 I couldn't really get into it, though. 284 00:11:12,718 --> 00:11:14,379 More of a Harry Potter girl myself. 285 00:11:15,021 --> 00:11:17,455 What? But I looked in the inside cover, 286 00:11:17,523 --> 00:11:18,854 and I saw this. 287 00:11:20,393 --> 00:11:23,260 Did a little research, and Liz Waverly is 12 years old, 288 00:11:23,329 --> 00:11:25,024 a straight-A student at King Philip Middle. 289 00:11:25,631 --> 00:11:27,258 She's also a member of many 290 00:11:27,566 --> 00:11:29,466 Twilight Internet message boards, 291 00:11:29,602 --> 00:11:31,502 and I'm guessing your daughter? 292 00:11:33,406 --> 00:11:35,840 Is that why you did this? To impress your daughter? 293 00:11:36,709 --> 00:11:39,143 Liz's mom and I divorced a couple years ago, 294 00:11:39,412 --> 00:11:40,970 and it's been really hard on her. 295 00:11:41,547 --> 00:11:42,946 She loves Twilight. 296 00:11:43,015 --> 00:11:45,381 So, I read about your time capsule and I thought 297 00:11:45,451 --> 00:11:47,976 that if I could somehow convince you to get it in there, 298 00:11:48,054 --> 00:11:49,282 I'd be a big hero. 299 00:11:49,789 --> 00:11:51,381 That's really sweet. 300 00:11:51,457 --> 00:11:54,255 You should have told me you were doing this for your daughter. 301 00:11:54,460 --> 00:11:56,223 I didn't want to drag her into it. 302 00:11:56,696 --> 00:11:58,027 I'm sorry. This is a mistake. 303 00:11:58,097 --> 00:12:00,122 You don't have to put Twilight in the time capsule. 304 00:12:02,468 --> 00:12:04,197 I think we should put Twilight in the time capsule. 305 00:12:04,804 --> 00:12:07,602 Leslie, no. We don't negotiate with weirdoes. 306 00:12:07,673 --> 00:12:10,972 Yeah, what happened to, "A perfect encapsulation of life in Pawnee"? 307 00:12:11,277 --> 00:12:13,768 Well, for that guy, life in Pawnee is him 308 00:12:13,846 --> 00:12:15,575 and his daughter reading that book. 309 00:12:15,648 --> 00:12:17,240 Besides, I can get Shauna on board. 310 00:12:17,383 --> 00:12:18,975 It would make a great human interest story. 311 00:12:19,719 --> 00:12:20,708 Uh, if this gets out, 312 00:12:20,786 --> 00:12:22,447 every time you want to do anything, 313 00:12:22,521 --> 00:12:24,011 some guy's gonna come into your office 314 00:12:24,156 --> 00:12:25,680 and handcuff himself to a pipe. 315 00:12:26,258 --> 00:12:29,591 Well, yeah, that's a good point. 316 00:12:29,662 --> 00:12:32,324 Then we shall bring the pipe to them. 317 00:12:32,698 --> 00:12:34,359 Oh, no. Oh, yes. 318 00:12:36,869 --> 00:12:39,565 What does that mean? Crackpot convention. 319 00:12:40,506 --> 00:12:42,303 So that's what today's forum is for. 320 00:12:42,374 --> 00:12:43,864 We're gonna hear suggestions from everyone, 321 00:12:44,110 --> 00:12:46,772 and then whichever items we generally agree on 322 00:12:46,879 --> 00:12:49,404 will go into the time capsule. 323 00:12:49,482 --> 00:12:51,450 Please remember, this is a government project, 324 00:12:51,517 --> 00:12:54,486 so we need to refrain from corporate promotion 325 00:12:54,553 --> 00:12:55,542 and religious items. 326 00:12:55,621 --> 00:12:56,645 Who'd like to start? 327 00:12:57,857 --> 00:12:59,188 I think we should put in the Bible. 328 00:12:59,959 --> 00:13:00,948 Great. 329 00:13:03,262 --> 00:13:04,251 Eduardo. 330 00:13:06,699 --> 00:13:09,532 Hi, Eduardo. I want to apologize. 331 00:13:10,035 --> 00:13:12,196 Just because you're dating my soul mate 332 00:13:12,338 --> 00:13:14,499 doesn't give me any right to be a jerk to you. 333 00:13:14,573 --> 00:13:17,667 I promise from now on, I'm just gonna be super nice to you. 334 00:13:18,244 --> 00:13:20,075 Thank you for saying that. You're welcome. 335 00:13:20,412 --> 00:13:21,401 What CDs are those? 336 00:13:21,547 --> 00:13:22,536 Mouse Rat. 337 00:13:22,882 --> 00:13:25,680 My band. It's our latest album. Yeah. 338 00:13:25,785 --> 00:13:27,275 You like music? What are you listening to? 339 00:13:27,586 --> 00:13:29,952 The Smiths. Very depressing! 340 00:13:30,156 --> 00:13:31,987 April's making you listen to that? Mmm. 341 00:13:32,057 --> 00:13:33,319 She's really into that indie stuff. 342 00:13:33,392 --> 00:13:35,360 I'm more of a Dave Matthews guy myself. 343 00:13:35,728 --> 00:13:37,286 David Matthews! Crash into Me! 344 00:13:37,830 --> 00:13:39,821 Yes! I love that song. 345 00:13:40,166 --> 00:13:42,100 Here you go, here. Take one. Check us out. 346 00:13:42,168 --> 00:13:44,602 We're amazing, so let me know how much you like us. 347 00:13:44,804 --> 00:13:45,964 Yeah, gracias. 348 00:13:46,172 --> 00:13:47,696 That means "thank you"? 349 00:13:48,340 --> 00:13:49,807 Yes. Nailed it. 350 00:13:50,242 --> 00:13:53,109 So, we have one very moving case for Twilight. 351 00:13:53,746 --> 00:13:55,577 Anyone else? Great. 352 00:13:55,648 --> 00:13:57,309 Two people for Twilight. - Oh, no, no, no, no. 353 00:13:57,850 --> 00:13:58,942 I'm Marcia Langman, 354 00:13:59,018 --> 00:14:01,418 from the Society for Family Stability Foundation. 355 00:14:01,787 --> 00:14:06,417 This book contains pagan creatures and strong sexual overtones. 356 00:14:06,492 --> 00:14:08,790 There are girls quivering. 357 00:14:08,861 --> 00:14:13,195 There are boys staring deeply into girls' eyes as they quiver, and so forth. 358 00:14:13,332 --> 00:14:14,924 There really is a tremendous amount of quivering. 359 00:14:15,501 --> 00:14:18,026 It is anti-Christian, it is pro-quivering, 360 00:14:18,103 --> 00:14:22,472 and the government has no business promoting it. 361 00:14:22,608 --> 00:14:24,075 I totally disagree. 362 00:14:24,243 --> 00:14:25,870 Well, now we have two people for Twilight. 363 00:14:25,945 --> 00:14:27,139 Absolutely not. 364 00:14:27,213 --> 00:14:29,647 I'm with the National Civil Liberties Association. 365 00:14:29,715 --> 00:14:33,173 That book actually contains overt Christian themes, 366 00:14:33,886 --> 00:14:35,513 and as such, has no business being 367 00:14:35,654 --> 00:14:37,281 associated with any government project. 368 00:14:37,990 --> 00:14:42,086 So too Christian, and not Christian enough? 369 00:14:42,461 --> 00:14:43,519 Do you see the irony here? 370 00:14:44,496 --> 00:14:46,020 No? Okay. Uh... 371 00:14:46,098 --> 00:14:49,727 Donna, why don't you put a question mark next to Twilight? 372 00:14:49,969 --> 00:14:51,834 No! You promised! 373 00:14:51,904 --> 00:14:53,872 You promised? That's not fair! 374 00:14:53,939 --> 00:14:55,065 Wait, it's not a question of fairness. 375 00:14:55,140 --> 00:14:56,903 It's... Go back to Russia, commie! 376 00:14:56,976 --> 00:14:58,568 Hey, you go back to Russia! 377 00:14:58,644 --> 00:15:00,771 You go back to wherever you came from! Why would I go to Russia? 378 00:15:00,980 --> 00:15:03,972 I have no interest in traveling to Russia. Can I just say that? 379 00:15:05,918 --> 00:15:07,146 And who else? 380 00:15:07,219 --> 00:15:08,811 I would like to include my favorite book, 381 00:15:09,021 --> 00:15:11,649 Crazy from the Heat, the David Lee Roth story. 382 00:15:11,790 --> 00:15:14,088 Well, I think if we're gonna be adding a book to the time capsule, 383 00:15:14,159 --> 00:15:15,387 it would probably be Twilight. 384 00:15:15,761 --> 00:15:18,559 I don't care about Twilight. Why is this only about his favorite book? 385 00:15:18,631 --> 00:15:20,258 I want my favorite book in there. 386 00:15:20,332 --> 00:15:22,425 Okay, I have an idea. 387 00:15:22,501 --> 00:15:23,934 Two time capsules. 388 00:15:24,503 --> 00:15:26,937 One that totally encapsulates 389 00:15:27,006 --> 00:15:29,270 what's happening right now in Pawnee in this moment in time 390 00:15:29,375 --> 00:15:30,740 and the other one that's just for items 391 00:15:30,809 --> 00:15:33,334 of personal significance, like Twilight. 392 00:15:34,179 --> 00:15:35,441 No Twilight! 393 00:15:35,514 --> 00:15:36,879 Yes, Twilight! 394 00:15:39,618 --> 00:15:40,778 Hey. Hey. 395 00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:42,412 Thanks for coming. 396 00:15:42,488 --> 00:15:44,649 I only have a second. I have to get to work. 397 00:15:45,057 --> 00:15:47,184 Bella's going on her first hunt. 398 00:15:49,061 --> 00:15:51,188 I just don't get why you broke up with me. 399 00:15:51,263 --> 00:15:52,560 Is it 'cause I'm not cool enough? 400 00:15:52,631 --> 00:15:54,531 Like the normal kids compared to the vampires? 401 00:15:54,934 --> 00:15:57,869 Is it an Edward-Bella-Jacob type situation, 402 00:15:57,937 --> 00:16:00,462 where you like me but there's someone else you like more? 403 00:16:00,639 --> 00:16:01,628 Uh... 404 00:16:02,508 --> 00:16:05,136 It's nothing to do with Twilight. 405 00:16:05,210 --> 00:16:06,939 It just didn't work out. 406 00:16:07,346 --> 00:16:08,745 Okay? 407 00:16:08,814 --> 00:16:10,281 Well, what difference does it make? 408 00:16:10,349 --> 00:16:11,475 If we stayed together, you probably 409 00:16:11,550 --> 00:16:12,642 would have just dumped me for Ron. 410 00:16:12,718 --> 00:16:15,448 Actually, that's the reason. 411 00:16:15,521 --> 00:16:18,422 I believe you when you say that you're not in love with Wendy anymore, 412 00:16:18,524 --> 00:16:20,719 but you're definitely not cool with her dating Ron. 413 00:16:20,793 --> 00:16:22,124 You talk about it constantly. 414 00:16:22,828 --> 00:16:24,261 Well, I can't help it, okay? 415 00:16:24,330 --> 00:16:26,662 I mean, he's so manly, and he's my boss. 416 00:16:26,732 --> 00:16:29,166 Imagine if your boss was Angelina Jolie, 417 00:16:29,535 --> 00:16:31,935 and then one day, she just started dating your ex-boyfriend. 418 00:16:32,371 --> 00:16:33,599 Wouldn't that freak you out a little bit? 419 00:16:33,672 --> 00:16:36,140 Well, not if I had a great new boyfriend, dumb-ass. 420 00:16:36,909 --> 00:16:38,274 Look, Tom, I like you. 421 00:16:38,344 --> 00:16:41,370 You're really cute and you're funny, 422 00:16:41,447 --> 00:16:43,244 and you're small enough for me to throw you around. 423 00:16:43,415 --> 00:16:47,374 So if you ever work through this, then give me a call. 424 00:16:53,826 --> 00:16:55,953 My grandmother lived in Pawnee for 60 years, 425 00:16:56,028 --> 00:16:59,020 and I wanna put her ashes in the time capsule. 426 00:16:59,465 --> 00:17:03,333 My cat, Turnip, was the greatest cat ever, 427 00:17:03,402 --> 00:17:05,836 and I'd like to put his ashes in the time capsule. 428 00:17:05,904 --> 00:17:08,998 For the last time, and I won't say this again, 429 00:17:09,074 --> 00:17:12,066 there will be no human or feline ashes 430 00:17:12,144 --> 00:17:13,873 in either one of the time capsules. 431 00:17:13,946 --> 00:17:17,939 Except for Turnip! Except for Turnip! 432 00:17:18,017 --> 00:17:19,006 No chanting. 433 00:17:19,418 --> 00:17:20,817 Look, we don't know what the world 434 00:17:20,953 --> 00:17:22,386 is going to be like in 50 years. 435 00:17:22,454 --> 00:17:26,288 We could all have been wiped out from disease or the flu. 436 00:17:26,558 --> 00:17:28,150 So what's your suggestion? 437 00:17:28,827 --> 00:17:30,590 I don't know. 438 00:17:30,662 --> 00:17:31,890 I'm just scared. 439 00:17:32,731 --> 00:17:33,720 Hey. 440 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:42,429 Aw! 441 00:17:48,547 --> 00:17:49,536 Andy! 442 00:17:49,615 --> 00:17:52,015 I got two microphones, a four-track recorder 443 00:17:52,151 --> 00:17:54,551 and every bass tab to Dave Matthews ever. 444 00:17:55,854 --> 00:17:57,151 We're gonna jam for, like, nine hours. Is that cool? 445 00:17:57,222 --> 00:17:58,211 Yeah. All right. 446 00:17:58,991 --> 00:18:00,288 That's ridiculous. 447 00:18:00,759 --> 00:18:05,128 Now, why should the Bill of Rights be in the official time capsule, 448 00:18:05,197 --> 00:18:09,759 but this painting of my dog is in time capsule seven? 449 00:18:09,835 --> 00:18:14,670 Well, I think pet paintingslashes are in time capsule four. 450 00:18:14,907 --> 00:18:17,432 No, that's baseball cards. 451 00:18:17,776 --> 00:18:22,110 No, baseball cards are in time capsule nine, childhood memorabilia. 452 00:18:22,181 --> 00:18:25,014 Honestly, Twilight could go in almost any of these categories. 453 00:18:25,084 --> 00:18:26,381 Oh, shut up, Kelly! 454 00:18:26,452 --> 00:18:27,714 Make me, Bob! 455 00:18:27,786 --> 00:18:30,277 Okay, let's take a 10-minute break! 456 00:18:30,489 --> 00:18:31,478 Oh, God. 457 00:18:32,458 --> 00:18:34,858 This time capsule's tearing this town apart. 458 00:18:35,294 --> 00:18:36,283 You're leaving soon. 459 00:18:36,361 --> 00:18:37,919 Can I blame it on you in the press? 460 00:18:38,297 --> 00:18:40,197 Sure. 461 00:18:40,833 --> 00:18:42,528 Well, I gotta say, I think it's kind of impressive. 462 00:18:42,835 --> 00:18:45,565 I've been to a lot of towns. Usually people don't care about anything. 463 00:18:46,205 --> 00:18:47,194 I mean, don't get me wrong. 464 00:18:47,272 --> 00:18:51,106 These people are weirdoes, but they're weirdoes who care. 465 00:18:55,514 --> 00:18:56,503 Excuse me, everyone. 466 00:18:57,816 --> 00:18:59,841 I realize things have gotten a little out of control, 467 00:18:59,918 --> 00:19:01,749 and that's Ben's fault, and he's sorry. 468 00:19:01,820 --> 00:19:03,617 But I have an idea, and if you like it, 469 00:19:03,755 --> 00:19:05,586 I think we can end this right now. 470 00:19:06,792 --> 00:19:08,191 "Dear Pawnee of the future, 471 00:19:08,894 --> 00:19:10,418 "congratulations. 472 00:19:10,496 --> 00:19:13,932 "You have found a time capsule that was buried over 50 years ago. 473 00:19:14,900 --> 00:19:18,563 "We wanted to include a collection of items that would best represent 474 00:19:18,637 --> 00:19:20,764 "what life was like in our town at that moment. 475 00:19:21,206 --> 00:19:23,572 "Instead, you'll find only one item, 476 00:19:24,309 --> 00:19:27,472 "a video recording of a public forum we held 477 00:19:27,546 --> 00:19:30,709 "in order to determine just what those items would be. 478 00:19:31,116 --> 00:19:33,016 "This is truly what life was like. 479 00:19:33,085 --> 00:19:35,553 "A lot of people with a lot of opinions 480 00:19:35,621 --> 00:19:37,589 "arguing passionately for what they believed in. 481 00:19:38,590 --> 00:19:43,289 "So enjoy watching it, assuming you still have electricity. 482 00:19:44,129 --> 00:19:46,597 "And sorry about the weird blank gap in the middle. 483 00:19:47,132 --> 00:19:50,590 "A man named Jerry Gergich screwed up the recording somehow. 484 00:19:51,270 --> 00:19:53,397 "He had one job to do. 485 00:19:54,072 --> 00:19:56,267 "Sincerely, Pawnee of the past." 486 00:20:03,315 --> 00:20:04,304 Is Eduardo coming? 487 00:20:05,017 --> 00:20:06,917 No, he went back to Venezuela. 488 00:20:07,686 --> 00:20:09,210 Oh, that sucks. 489 00:20:09,621 --> 00:20:12,283 He was a really good bassist. I was actually starting to like him. 490 00:20:12,491 --> 00:20:13,981 I know. 491 00:20:14,059 --> 00:20:15,526 That's what made me start to hate him. 492 00:20:19,531 --> 00:20:23,023 Hey. Nice and band totally worked. 493 00:20:27,339 --> 00:20:29,705 Have you enjoyed your time with Andy? 494 00:20:30,342 --> 00:20:31,673 Yeah, he's great. 495 00:20:31,944 --> 00:20:34,071 And he told me how great you are. 496 00:20:34,413 --> 00:20:37,974 And he told me that I would be crazy to let you get away. 497 00:20:38,850 --> 00:20:40,545 He did, huh? He did. 498 00:20:40,619 --> 00:20:43,019 And also, there is a pretzel stand over there 499 00:20:43,088 --> 00:20:45,522 that serves, literally, the best pretzel I've ever had. 500 00:20:45,591 --> 00:20:47,286 Would you like one? Absolutely. 501 00:20:49,394 --> 00:20:50,383 Hey, guys. 502 00:20:50,462 --> 00:20:52,020 Hey, Tom. Tom. 503 00:20:52,097 --> 00:20:53,997 Listen, I've never seen this before, 504 00:20:54,099 --> 00:20:55,532 so I'd really appreciate it if no one, 505 00:20:55,601 --> 00:20:58,126 like, talked or texted or anything. Okay. 506 00:20:58,303 --> 00:21:00,271 Ooh! 507 00:21:04,576 --> 00:21:05,565 Hey. 508 00:21:05,811 --> 00:21:07,438 Hey, Leslie, thanks for setting this up. 509 00:21:07,512 --> 00:21:08,672 Dude, what did I just say? 510 00:21:08,947 --> 00:21:10,676 Hey, I was the guy who introduced you to... 511 00:21:10,782 --> 00:21:12,647 How about you shut up?