1
00:00:03,953 --> 00:00:04,942
Good morning, Ben.

2
00:00:05,922 --> 00:00:06,980
Sorry.
Sorry.

3
00:00:07,057 --> 00:00:08,285
Did I scare you?
No.

4
00:00:08,358 --> 00:00:10,849
I just wanted to remind you of the
art show that's happening tonight

5
00:00:10,927 --> 00:00:12,292
at the community center.
Yeah. Yeah.

6
00:00:12,695 --> 00:00:14,094
It's gonna be a lot of fun.

7
00:00:14,230 --> 00:00:15,629
Great. Well,
that sounds cool.

8
00:00:15,698 --> 00:00:18,997
That sounds like something that
will be a big success. You know?

9
00:00:19,069 --> 00:00:23,369
I mean, like everything
that you put your paws on.

10
00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:24,498
Your fingers.

11
00:00:24,908 --> 00:00:27,672
Leslie Knope!
Ben Wyatt. Ben, great news.

12
00:00:27,977 --> 00:00:29,467
Do you remember
the woman I told you about

13
00:00:29,612 --> 00:00:31,102
from the county
commissioner's office?

14
00:00:31,214 --> 00:00:32,374
Um... Vaguely.

15
00:00:32,515 --> 00:00:33,675
Sure you do. Cindy Miller.

16
00:00:33,750 --> 00:00:35,741
Anyway, she's agreed to go out
on a date with you.

17
00:00:35,819 --> 00:00:36,945
Oh.

18
00:00:37,020 --> 00:00:39,284
You asked her out for me?

19
00:00:39,422 --> 00:00:43,153
You're going to love her.
She is interesting, smart and beautiful.

20
00:00:43,226 --> 00:00:44,454
Inside and out.

21
00:00:44,527 --> 00:00:47,018
Inner beauty is
very important.

22
00:00:47,163 --> 00:00:49,688
And outer beauty is
also very important.

23
00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:53,698
I thought you had a rule about
inter-government relationships.

24
00:00:53,770 --> 00:00:56,796
Don't worry. Her department is
completely separate from ours.

25
00:00:56,873 --> 00:00:59,137
This isn't anything like your
affair with Tom Haverford.

26
00:01:00,210 --> 00:01:01,575
We weren't... You... You...

27
00:01:01,711 --> 00:01:03,076
I'm sorry,
who are you calling?

28
00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:04,135
Cindy Miller.

29
00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:05,304
Cindy Miller. Chris Traeger.

30
00:01:05,582 --> 00:01:08,244
Guess who is standing in
this room with me right now.

31
00:01:08,451 --> 00:01:09,816
Oh, uh...
Ben Wyatt.

32
00:01:10,353 --> 00:01:12,150
Ben, say hello.

33
00:01:12,288 --> 00:01:14,085
Hi, Cindy. Sorry.

34
00:01:14,157 --> 00:01:18,423
Hi. No apology necessary.
It's just Chris being Chris.

35
00:01:22,665 --> 00:01:23,689
How are you doing?

36
00:01:23,833 --> 00:01:24,891
Ooh! Sparks are flying!

37
00:01:25,235 --> 00:01:28,136
We may have to call the fire department.
It's a government joke.

38
00:01:28,238 --> 00:01:29,830
I love setting people up.

39
00:01:30,206 --> 00:01:33,642
Here's my secret.
I determine someone's best qualities,

40
00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:38,075
and then, I find someone else
with compatible qualities,

41
00:01:41,417 --> 00:01:42,714
and I bring them together.

42
00:02:04,607 --> 00:02:06,199
God, this sucks.

43
00:02:06,309 --> 00:02:08,675
Why don't you just go home
for the rest of the day?

44
00:02:08,745 --> 00:02:10,269
I can't go home,
because I have this

45
00:02:10,413 --> 00:02:11,937
art show opening at
the community center,

46
00:02:12,015 --> 00:02:14,108
and I can't stay
here because I see Ben,

47
00:02:14,184 --> 00:02:16,982
and I can't date Ben because
of Chris' stupid rules.

48
00:02:17,587 --> 00:02:18,986
I feel so...

49
00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:20,754
Powerless.
Yeah.

50
00:02:21,457 --> 00:02:23,254
I'm like that light bulb.

51
00:02:23,326 --> 00:02:26,386
Weak, flickering,
barely giving off any light,

52
00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:30,124
unable to make out with the light
bulb I want to make out with.

53
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:31,833
You know what might
make you feel better?

54
00:02:32,202 --> 00:02:33,260
A hug?

55
00:02:33,636 --> 00:02:36,196
Paxil. Do you want me
to get you a prescription?

56
00:02:38,675 --> 00:02:40,506
Hey, Tom! A question for you.

57
00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:42,477
Do you know anyone
who's looking for a roommate?

58
00:02:42,845 --> 00:02:43,869
How hot?

59
00:02:44,013 --> 00:02:45,037
I... What?

60
00:02:45,348 --> 00:02:47,816
How hot is the woman that's
looking for a place to stay?

61
00:02:47,884 --> 00:02:49,852
No, it's me. I'm looking.
Come on. That's not fair.

62
00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:51,978
You shouldn't have led me to
believe it was a beautiful woman.

63
00:02:52,055 --> 00:02:53,317
I didn't.

64
00:02:53,556 --> 00:02:57,617
I've been staying at the Pawnee
Super Suites Motel for seven months.

65
00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:01,662
It's a charming little inn with
wonderfully random wake-up calls,

66
00:03:01,831 --> 00:03:04,129
delightfully
unstable temperatures,

67
00:03:04,234 --> 00:03:06,828
and, as of yesterday, bedbugs.

68
00:03:07,170 --> 00:03:09,900
"Four stars," says nobody.

69
00:03:10,473 --> 00:03:13,271
I wish I could help you, Benihana,
but I can't. I have a one-bedroom.

70
00:03:13,476 --> 00:03:14,966
I can't have a dude
sleeping on my couch

71
00:03:15,111 --> 00:03:16,635
if and when I
bring home a lady.

72
00:03:16,746 --> 00:03:18,577
I have a ritual,
and it starts on the couch.

73
00:03:19,215 --> 00:03:20,910
We sit down,
clap my hands, lights dim.

74
00:03:21,050 --> 00:03:22,779
Okay. I understand.

75
00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:24,716
Boyz II Men. Fades in.
Please, stop. No.

76
00:03:24,854 --> 00:03:27,652
No, you don't need to
explain the ritual. I'm good.

77
00:03:27,790 --> 00:03:29,189
You know who might
be able to help out

78
00:03:29,325 --> 00:03:30,724
a homeless dude
such as yourself?

79
00:03:31,127 --> 00:03:32,685
This is awesomely perfect.

80
00:03:32,762 --> 00:03:34,525
Burly just moved in
with his rich girlfriend,

81
00:03:34,664 --> 00:03:36,461
and we need
help with the rent.

82
00:03:36,532 --> 00:03:37,965
We have a couple of
house rules, though.

83
00:03:38,034 --> 00:03:39,228
Yeah, sure. Of course.

84
00:03:39,302 --> 00:03:40,462
You can't use the front door.

85
00:03:40,536 --> 00:03:41,935
You have to climb in
through the back window.

86
00:03:42,005 --> 00:03:43,734
No personal
phone conversations.

87
00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:47,332
If you ever speak to me in Spanish,
please use the formal "usted".

88
00:03:47,410 --> 00:03:49,674
And no
electricity after 6:00 p.m.

89
00:03:49,912 --> 00:03:51,675
She's joking.
Okay.

90
00:03:51,748 --> 00:03:54,216
You can use as much
free electricity as you want.

91
00:03:54,350 --> 00:03:55,977
It's free.
Couple more rules.

92
00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:58,048
If you ever watch a sad movie,

93
00:03:58,187 --> 00:03:59,586
you have to wear
mascara so we can see

94
00:03:59,722 --> 00:04:01,121
whether or not
you've been crying.

95
00:04:01,190 --> 00:04:04,626
There's no noise allowed on Mondays,
and no TV after breakfast.

96
00:04:06,095 --> 00:04:07,084
She is lying again.

97
00:04:07,163 --> 00:04:08,152
She is.

98
00:04:08,231 --> 00:04:09,391
Yes.
Because it's hard to tell.

99
00:04:09,465 --> 00:04:11,160
No. We leave
the TV on all day long

100
00:04:11,234 --> 00:04:12,895
so burglars think that
we're home when we're not,

101
00:04:12,969 --> 00:04:15,460
which was my idea that
I'm trying to patent.

102
00:04:15,905 --> 00:04:18,703
So, you want to
move in tonight?

103
00:04:22,245 --> 00:04:24,179
Yeah. Sure.
That would be great.

104
00:04:24,280 --> 00:04:26,441
You want my gum?
Uh-huh.

105
00:04:30,853 --> 00:04:33,287
Ron, can you make
the opening remarks?

106
00:04:33,423 --> 00:04:35,891
I'm just...
I'm not in the mood.

107
00:04:36,159 --> 00:04:37,888
Neither am I. Ever.

108
00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:40,222
What's wrong with you?
You live for this kind of stuff.

109
00:04:40,430 --> 00:04:41,761
I don't have it
in me right now.

110
00:04:41,831 --> 00:04:45,323
Ron, please. Do it for me.
Make the speech. Ron, please. Please.

111
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:46,900
Give the speech, Ron.
No.

112
00:04:46,969 --> 00:04:48,834
Yes. Please? Ron? Please.
No.

113
00:04:48,938 --> 00:04:50,565
Please give the speech.
Please give the speech.

114
00:04:50,673 --> 00:04:51,970
No. I won't. Yes. Yes.
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

115
00:04:52,041 --> 00:04:53,565
No way.
Please, please, please, please, please.

116
00:04:53,643 --> 00:04:54,701
No. Please, please.
Yes, yes...

117
00:04:54,777 --> 00:04:56,802
All right! Damn it, woman.

118
00:04:57,146 --> 00:05:01,879
Okay, everyone.
Shut up and look at me!

119
00:05:02,618 --> 00:05:04,711
Welcome to
"Visions of Nature."

120
00:05:04,854 --> 00:05:06,981
This room has
several paintings in it.

121
00:05:07,056 --> 00:05:11,390
Some are big. Some are small.
People did them, and they are here now.

122
00:05:11,461 --> 00:05:12,894
I believe that
after this is over,

123
00:05:13,029 --> 00:05:14,462
they'll be hung in
government buildings.

124
00:05:14,530 --> 00:05:18,330
Why the government is involved
in an art show is beyond me.

125
00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:22,394
I also think it's pointless for
a human to paint scenes of nature

126
00:05:22,472 --> 00:05:24,838
when they can just go outside
and stand in it.

127
00:05:25,441 --> 00:05:28,638
Anyway, please do not misinterpret
the fact that I am talking right now

128
00:05:28,711 --> 00:05:33,478
as genuine interest in art and
attempt to discuss it with me further.

129
00:05:33,549 --> 00:05:34,982
End of speech.

130
00:05:35,385 --> 00:05:37,580
And that's the TV room.

131
00:05:38,087 --> 00:05:39,952
Oh, my God.

132
00:05:40,089 --> 00:05:41,954
Yeah, it's a mess.

133
00:05:50,633 --> 00:05:51,998
Can you throw that
in the trash can?

134
00:05:52,068 --> 00:05:54,832
I was just here, like,
three weeks ago for your wedding.

135
00:05:54,904 --> 00:05:56,030
What happened?

136
00:05:56,172 --> 00:05:57,332
Well, Burly moved out.

137
00:05:57,407 --> 00:06:00,342
He was the one that did all the
cleaning and throwing away and stuff.

138
00:06:00,510 --> 00:06:02,000
Wait, he moved out,
like, a week ago.

139
00:06:02,145 --> 00:06:03,635
You guys made
this mess in a week?

140
00:06:03,746 --> 00:06:05,611
Well, I always think
April's going to clean up.

141
00:06:05,681 --> 00:06:07,342
And I never clean up.

142
00:06:07,417 --> 00:06:08,441
It's cute, right?

143
00:06:08,718 --> 00:06:09,707
No.

144
00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:10,810
Yes, it is.

145
00:06:12,488 --> 00:06:15,753
Are you guys frying marbles?

146
00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:17,786
We were checking to see
if the fire alarm worked.

147
00:06:17,860 --> 00:06:18,884
It doesn't.

148
00:06:18,961 --> 00:06:23,728
The biggest challenge to
picking the perfect roommate is

149
00:06:23,966 --> 00:06:26,560
finding someone
who's willing to pay more

150
00:06:26,702 --> 00:06:29,330
than their share of
rent without knowing it.

151
00:06:30,039 --> 00:06:31,836
I think we found that in Ben.

152
00:06:36,112 --> 00:06:38,512
You forgot to
paint a painting, son.

153
00:06:39,382 --> 00:06:41,282
So, for my painting,
I chose one

154
00:06:41,417 --> 00:06:43,317
of my very
favorite Greek myths,

155
00:06:43,619 --> 00:06:47,248
the centaur goddess, Dyaphena,
slaying a great stag.

156
00:06:47,590 --> 00:06:49,581
It's stunning.

157
00:06:49,792 --> 00:06:50,850
It's breathtaking, Jerry.

158
00:06:50,993 --> 00:06:52,051
Yeah. It really is.

159
00:06:52,261 --> 00:06:53,922
Wow. Thanks, guys.

160
00:06:54,030 --> 00:06:56,021
Hey, Leslie,
you should really come

161
00:06:56,165 --> 00:06:58,190
over here and look
at Jerry's painting.

162
00:06:58,301 --> 00:06:59,461
Oh, my God.

163
00:07:01,704 --> 00:07:03,569
That's me.
Is that me?

164
00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:05,808
What? No.

165
00:07:08,478 --> 00:07:09,843
Geez, it does
look like you.

166
00:07:09,979 --> 00:07:11,344
You're just
realizing that now?

167
00:07:11,414 --> 00:07:13,678
That's what you see when you
close your eyes at night, Jerry.

168
00:07:13,749 --> 00:07:15,216
Topless Leslie
glued to a horse.

169
00:07:16,385 --> 00:07:18,979
Okay. Leslie,
I am just so, so sorry.

170
00:07:19,489 --> 00:07:21,787
Dyaphena,
she is this powerful goddess,

171
00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:23,917
and I've been thinking a lot
about powerful women,

172
00:07:23,993 --> 00:07:26,427
and subconsciously,
I painted you.

173
00:07:26,562 --> 00:07:28,359
I'm sorry. I'm going
to take it right down.

174
00:07:28,498 --> 00:07:30,329
No. Leave it up.

175
00:07:32,235 --> 00:07:33,566
I love it.

176
00:07:34,036 --> 00:07:35,526
I don't know
how to explain it.

177
00:07:35,605 --> 00:07:38,039
Every time I look at it,
I just think to myself,

178
00:07:38,174 --> 00:07:40,642
"What can't that
centaur woman do?

179
00:07:40,776 --> 00:07:43,108
"Besides ride
an escalator and drive a car."

180
00:07:43,179 --> 00:07:48,207
Art can be so magnificent.

181
00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:50,083
Oh, my God.
The baby is Tom.

182
00:07:50,219 --> 00:07:51,618
What?

183
00:07:52,288 --> 00:07:54,722
This is easily my
favorite painting ever.

184
00:07:54,790 --> 00:07:58,556
What the hell, Jerry? Look at my pot
belly. I look like a pregnant baby.

185
00:07:58,928 --> 00:08:01,419
And why am I so scared? All right,
we've got to take this down. Now.

186
00:08:01,497 --> 00:08:02,987
No, this painting
isn't going anywhere, Tom.

187
00:08:03,165 --> 00:08:07,067
It's staying right here.
Hello, fellow lover of the arts.

188
00:08:07,470 --> 00:08:09,131
Welcome to the painting.

189
00:08:09,639 --> 00:08:10,663
What, is that you?

190
00:08:12,341 --> 00:08:13,365
Well, it's hot.

191
00:08:14,110 --> 00:08:15,270
Thank you.

192
00:08:15,344 --> 00:08:18,507
This guy's in it, too.
He's the little fat baby.

193
00:08:19,248 --> 00:08:20,237
Cool.

194
00:08:20,316 --> 00:08:21,305
Yeah.

195
00:08:22,251 --> 00:08:23,980
What's going on right here?

196
00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:25,849
Baby rolls!

197
00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:32,451
We've been trying to get
that light fixed for months.

198
00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:33,584
Thank you.

199
00:08:33,696 --> 00:08:34,890
Thank her.

200
00:08:35,031 --> 00:08:36,259
Good morning, Tom.

201
00:08:36,365 --> 00:08:39,129
She marched into my office this
morning and told me she wouldn't leave

202
00:08:39,235 --> 00:08:40,566
until I got this done.

203
00:08:40,636 --> 00:08:41,660
Hmm.

204
00:08:41,737 --> 00:08:43,796
Well, I'm glad
someone's feeling good.

205
00:08:43,873 --> 00:08:46,865
They're going to hang that
painting in a public building

206
00:08:46,976 --> 00:08:48,307
where anybody can see it.

207
00:08:48,678 --> 00:08:52,273
In one brush stroke,
Jerry has killed the Jay-Z vibe

208
00:08:52,348 --> 00:08:53,713
that's taken me
years to cultivate

209
00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:56,183
and replaced it with the fat,
brown baby vibe,

210
00:08:56,352 --> 00:08:58,081
which is not as
cool of a vibe.

211
00:08:58,154 --> 00:09:00,645
Hey, Aphrodite. Chris
needs you in his office.

212
00:09:00,723 --> 00:09:01,712
Hmm.

213
00:09:02,124 --> 00:09:04,183
When you're done with the light,
fix the printer.

214
00:09:04,327 --> 00:09:05,624
I don't know how
to fix printers.

215
00:09:05,761 --> 00:09:07,058
Learn it.

216
00:09:07,663 --> 00:09:09,255
Leslie, should I go, too?

217
00:09:09,732 --> 00:09:11,996
This isn't about you, Jerry.

218
00:09:13,669 --> 00:09:15,193
It's my painting.

219
00:09:15,504 --> 00:09:16,801
Why am I upset?

220
00:09:16,872 --> 00:09:20,239
Let's start with
government-funded animal porn.

221
00:09:20,309 --> 00:09:22,072
I'm not sure
that's fair.

222
00:09:22,144 --> 00:09:24,806
I want it destroyed,
and I want a statement from this office

223
00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:28,680
apologizing for an obscene
depiction of bestiality.

224
00:09:28,884 --> 00:09:31,444
Bestiality? It is
a picture of a centaur,

225
00:09:31,721 --> 00:09:33,746
a beautiful half person,
half horse.

226
00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:35,415
And how did it
get like that?

227
00:09:35,524 --> 00:09:39,392
Who had sex with what
and gave birth to which?

228
00:09:39,562 --> 00:09:42,497
Ms. Langman, we hear you,
we understand you

229
00:09:42,598 --> 00:09:46,364
and we are going to do whatever
we can to come to a solution.

230
00:09:46,602 --> 00:09:47,967
Destroy it.

231
00:09:49,205 --> 00:09:51,503
Destroy it?
I mean, is she serious?

232
00:09:51,641 --> 00:09:53,939
Do you find this
personally offensive?

233
00:09:54,510 --> 00:09:55,841
Not personally, no.

234
00:09:56,045 --> 00:09:59,572
No, personally, I enjoy a good
artistic depiction of the human form.

235
00:09:59,782 --> 00:10:03,047
I've dabbled in nude sculpture.
I've posed nude.

236
00:10:03,119 --> 00:10:05,212
In college,
I was in a nude production of Cats.

237
00:10:05,821 --> 00:10:07,345
But I am not in
the nude now, am I?

238
00:10:07,556 --> 00:10:08,921
Because we're in
a government building.

239
00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:10,959
And that would
be inappropriate,

240
00:10:11,093 --> 00:10:13,061
which is what I
think Marcia is saying.

241
00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:14,989
So, take care of
this situation.

242
00:10:15,131 --> 00:10:17,565
That painting is not
going to be destroyed.

243
00:10:17,633 --> 00:10:20,033
Every great work of
art contains a message.

244
00:10:20,102 --> 00:10:22,400
And the message of
this painting is,

245
00:10:22,471 --> 00:10:27,932
"Get out of my way unless you want
an arrow in your ass, Marcia."

246
00:10:28,944 --> 00:10:30,969
Morning, roomie.
How did you sleep?

247
00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:32,639
Well, there were
no bedbugs.

248
00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:36,082
Also, no bed.
I'm going to go buy a bed.

249
00:10:36,485 --> 00:10:37,782
Fork.
I'm sorry.

250
00:10:37,853 --> 00:10:40,981
Are you eating turkey
chili off of a frisbee?

251
00:10:41,991 --> 00:10:44,425
Yeah. It's
pretty cute, right?

252
00:10:44,994 --> 00:10:47,428
No. Do you know
what "cute" means?

253
00:10:47,496 --> 00:10:49,464
What have you got against
turkey chili for breakfast?

254
00:10:49,532 --> 00:10:52,057
What have you guys got
against washing dishes?

255
00:10:52,134 --> 00:10:54,102
We don't have
any dishes, okay?

256
00:10:54,170 --> 00:10:55,899
Burly took them
all when he left.

257
00:10:56,038 --> 00:10:57,801
Now, I bet you
feel like a jerk.

258
00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:00,702
God. Okay, I might need to not
stay here anymore.

259
00:11:01,110 --> 00:11:03,977
No. Sorry, dude. We already spent
your money on a new Xbox 360

260
00:11:04,046 --> 00:11:05,411
and more
frisbees to eat off of.

261
00:11:05,481 --> 00:11:06,778
You've got to stay.

262
00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:08,247
God. Okay. All right.

263
00:11:08,451 --> 00:11:09,611
Here's the deal.

264
00:11:11,854 --> 00:11:13,253
We're going to
clean this place up.

265
00:11:13,556 --> 00:11:16,650
Okay? And then, I am going to
teach you how to be adults.

266
00:11:17,460 --> 00:11:19,655
Cool. We'll get to be adults.

267
00:11:20,129 --> 00:11:22,120
Gee, golly.
Thanks, mister.

268
00:11:24,133 --> 00:11:25,225
Fork.

269
00:11:25,735 --> 00:11:29,466
Hello. I'm Perd Hapley,
and welcome to Ya' Heard? With Perd.

270
00:11:29,538 --> 00:11:32,769
Today's show begins now.
Is this art

271
00:11:32,842 --> 00:11:34,673
or is it pornography?

272
00:11:34,744 --> 00:11:36,041
Here to answer this question

273
00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:38,580
is Parks and Recreation Deputy Director,
Leslie Knope.

274
00:11:39,715 --> 00:11:41,205
Perd, it is
a beautiful work of art.

275
00:11:41,283 --> 00:11:43,410
Governments should not be
in the business of censorship,

276
00:11:43,619 --> 00:11:46,213
especially when a painting is
as awesome as this one.

277
00:11:46,355 --> 00:11:48,414
But this is
where the controversy

278
00:11:48,557 --> 00:11:50,650
of this story gets
even more controversial.

279
00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:53,228
You are the subject
of this painting.

280
00:11:53,362 --> 00:11:55,626
Half woman,
half horse, with what

281
00:11:55,765 --> 00:11:58,029
some would say
are human breasts.

282
00:11:58,167 --> 00:11:59,964
I am not the subject.

283
00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:04,539
The subject is strong and
empowered women everywhere.

284
00:12:05,441 --> 00:12:07,705
But it does look
a little bit like me.

285
00:12:07,777 --> 00:12:09,802
Leslie,
for our viewers at home

286
00:12:09,945 --> 00:12:11,970
who might not know,
are centaurs real?

287
00:12:12,548 --> 00:12:13,537
No.

288
00:12:14,350 --> 00:12:15,749
Absolutely sure?

289
00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:18,981
Okay. So, you always separate
your lights from your darks.

290
00:12:19,054 --> 00:12:20,078
That's racist.

291
00:12:20,222 --> 00:12:21,655
And then,
you get your laundry...

292
00:12:21,791 --> 00:12:23,258
Where is your
laundry detergent?

293
00:12:23,325 --> 00:12:25,054
Right. Here we are.

294
00:12:25,261 --> 00:12:29,288
Okay. This is
bubble bath. You guys...

295
00:12:29,498 --> 00:12:31,125
You wash your
clothes in bubble bath?

296
00:12:31,300 --> 00:12:33,461
Bubble bath,
clothes soap, same thing.

297
00:12:33,536 --> 00:12:34,969
No, it's not.

298
00:12:35,037 --> 00:12:37,198
Well, they both
make bubbles, so...

299
00:12:38,541 --> 00:12:41,203
It was never our
intention to offend anyone

300
00:12:41,277 --> 00:12:45,270
I guess some people object to
powerful depictions of awesome ladies.

301
00:12:45,414 --> 00:12:46,403
Okay.

302
00:12:46,615 --> 00:12:49,448
Also joining us today
is a different person.

303
00:12:49,518 --> 00:12:51,748
Pornographic film actress,
Brandi Maxxxx.

304
00:12:52,154 --> 00:12:54,281
Pleasure to be here.
Brandi, you've starred in

305
00:12:54,356 --> 00:12:57,587
over 200 adult films,
some of which are very good.

306
00:12:57,760 --> 00:12:59,352
When did you get into the business?
Last year.

307
00:12:59,461 --> 00:13:04,524
Fantastic. Now, this painting
right here, art or pornography?

308
00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:06,861
Perd, I think this
whole debate is ridiculous.

309
00:13:07,002 --> 00:13:09,266
What Leslie and I
do is obviously art.

310
00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:12,436
Hang on.
There is a big difference

311
00:13:12,508 --> 00:13:16,774
between an oil painting of a Greek
myth and a pornographic movie.

312
00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:18,506
It's okay, Leslie.
I got this one. What?

313
00:13:18,581 --> 00:13:21,607
What Leslie and I want people to know
is you should be able to have sex

314
00:13:21,684 --> 00:13:24,084
anywhere you want
and show it anywhere you want.

315
00:13:24,286 --> 00:13:27,119
Whether it's girl-on-girl
action, bondage, or...

316
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:28,520
Yep.
what have you.

317
00:13:28,591 --> 00:13:32,186
Okay. Hang on.
Pornography is very difficult to define.

318
00:13:32,361 --> 00:13:34,852
In fact, it was Justice
Stewart who once said,

319
00:13:34,930 --> 00:13:37,558
"I can't define pornography,
but I know it when I see it."

320
00:13:37,633 --> 00:13:39,396
Brandi, how would
you define pornography?

321
00:13:40,035 --> 00:13:42,560
For me, it's when
the penis goes in.

322
00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:49,036
All right, we need to do
some basic organization.

323
00:13:49,845 --> 00:13:51,938
Where do you put your
bills when they come?

324
00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:55,649
I read the magazines
and give the rest to Andy.

325
00:13:55,851 --> 00:14:00,618
Which I organize into a pile or
stack that I put into the freezer.

326
00:14:01,390 --> 00:14:02,516
Why?

327
00:14:02,658 --> 00:14:03,818
So they won't get lost.

328
00:14:06,428 --> 00:14:07,588
Bingo.

329
00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:14,065
Okay, you have
to pay these.

330
00:14:14,370 --> 00:14:16,099
Good thing
I didn't lose them.

331
00:14:16,171 --> 00:14:19,800
Okay. New lesson.
Basic finance.

332
00:14:20,476 --> 00:14:22,842
I'm gonna teach you
how to balance a checkbook.

333
00:14:24,380 --> 00:14:28,339
Okay. I am going to teach you
how to open a bank account.

334
00:14:31,020 --> 00:14:32,487
Bank account. Good.

335
00:14:32,922 --> 00:14:34,446
Brandi, I'm Thomas Haverford.

336
00:14:34,523 --> 00:14:35,751
I just wanted to
say I thought you made

337
00:14:35,891 --> 00:14:37,153
some excellent
points up there.

338
00:14:37,426 --> 00:14:39,053
I totally agree with
you that people should

339
00:14:39,194 --> 00:14:40,855
be allowed to have
sex in public places.

340
00:14:41,096 --> 00:14:42,996
You look familiar to me.

341
00:14:43,232 --> 00:14:45,826
Maybe you've seen me
down at the Snakehole Lounge.

342
00:14:45,935 --> 00:14:47,334
I'm a part-owner there.

343
00:14:47,469 --> 00:14:48,902
That's you. In the painting.

344
00:14:49,104 --> 00:14:51,038
You're the fat baby.

345
00:14:51,106 --> 00:14:52,232
Aw!

346
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:53,798
That's so cute.

347
00:14:53,943 --> 00:14:55,467
Oh. You're into that?

348
00:14:55,744 --> 00:14:56,836
No.

349
00:14:57,513 --> 00:14:58,502
Damn it, Jerry.

350
00:14:59,081 --> 00:15:00,446
Imagine my horror.

351
00:15:00,516 --> 00:15:03,451
I'm hanging upside down with
my gravity boots watching Perd.

352
00:15:03,519 --> 00:15:07,819
I see you with your painting,
and I am startled and disappointed.

353
00:15:08,123 --> 00:15:10,182
Well, I did not know that
Brandi was going to offer me

354
00:15:10,259 --> 00:15:11,556
a role in her next film.

355
00:15:11,727 --> 00:15:13,490
I urge you not
to take that role.

356
00:15:13,562 --> 00:15:15,052
I am not going
to take the role.

357
00:15:15,130 --> 00:15:16,188
That's good to hear,

358
00:15:16,265 --> 00:15:19,666
because recently,
you've been a little unpredictable.

359
00:15:19,902 --> 00:15:23,429
I'm sorry that I'm trying to
defend a beautiful work of art.

360
00:15:23,539 --> 00:15:24,665
Thank you, Leslie.

361
00:15:24,807 --> 00:15:25,967
Stand down, Jerry.
This isn't your fight.

362
00:15:26,041 --> 00:15:27,736
You've left me no choice.

363
00:15:27,977 --> 00:15:30,138
I have convened a meeting
of the Public Arts Commission,

364
00:15:30,212 --> 00:15:31,975
and we will abide
by their decision.

365
00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:33,815
Fine with me.

366
00:15:34,216 --> 00:15:36,514
Public Arts Commission.
Filled with hippies

367
00:15:36,652 --> 00:15:38,950
who love art and
sometimes weed.

368
00:15:39,521 --> 00:15:40,920
Jackpot.